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Speaker 1: Let's go. Let's go, buck a lop, hold on tight,

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Speaker 1: we got it for you. Here it is the Strawberry Ladder. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. Everybody subject. This man has a thing for

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Speaker 1: chock huh. Here we go. Dis Stephen Sherley, I'm a

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Speaker 1: divorce fifty eight year old black woman dating a sixty

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Speaker 1: one year old white man that I met on the

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Speaker 1: dating site for black people. I thought it was strange

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Speaker 1: that he was on the site that is for blacks,

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Speaker 1: but I guess he likes what he likes. Well, this

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Speaker 1: man fell head over heels for me. On the first date.

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Speaker 1: He got up and kissed me at least four times

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Speaker 1: that night while we were at dinner. Well, since then,

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Speaker 1: he sends me text throughout the date, at least ten

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Speaker 1: a day to tell me he's thinking about me and

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Speaker 1: he misses me. We go out on dates twice a week,

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Speaker 1: and we've had and we have sex at least once

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Speaker 1: a week. And he's great in bad So this man

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Speaker 1: is a dream. I'm true right. Well, I got a

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Speaker 1: few problems with him, and I need your advice. I

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Speaker 1: have only known this man for a month and he

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Speaker 1: told me that he loves me, and he's been shopping

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Speaker 1: for an engagement ring. He wants to get married by

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty. The other problem is since we started having sex,

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Speaker 1: he now likes to refer to me as his black

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Speaker 1: or chocolate everything. I went from being a hot babe

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Speaker 1: to a chocolate hot babe. He now refers to me

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Speaker 1: as his beautiful black girlfriend when we're on dates, and

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Speaker 1: it's getting on my nerves. I will have to have

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Speaker 1: a conversation with him in due time, but I need

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Speaker 1: to make sure that I'm going to stay with him. First,

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Speaker 1: he was on a dating site for black singles, but

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Speaker 1: he says I'm the first black woman he has dated.

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Speaker 1: So my question is am I trying to create a

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Speaker 1: problem where one does not exist? Is it possible that

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Speaker 1: this man did fall in love at first sight and

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Speaker 1: he's just happy to be in a relationship with a

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Speaker 1: black queen. Please give it to me straight? Sure, will, Well,

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Speaker 1: my queen, here we go. It sounds like an easy fix, though,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you have to talk to this guy, and

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Speaker 1: you have to, you know, let him know that there

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Speaker 1: is an issue that you'd like to address with him,

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Speaker 1: and let him know it's a sensitive issue. So if

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Speaker 1: it's bothering you, that he you know, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: it's a racial issue for you. So if it's bothering

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Speaker 1: you that he is calling you, you know, chocolate or

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Speaker 1: black anything, you need to let him know that. Because

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Speaker 1: in any relationship, regardless of race, any relationship, if you

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Speaker 1: have an issue with that person, there's going to be

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Speaker 1: some things that are that are said or some things

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Speaker 1: that are done that you aren't going to like. And

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Speaker 1: so you have to be able to talk to that

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Speaker 1: person about it if you're not comfortable with that situation. Now,

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Speaker 1: as far as you guys, you know, moving too fast.

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Speaker 1: You haven't been dating for that long, So you have

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Speaker 1: to decide. I mean, you're fifty eight years old, so

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Speaker 1: you should by now have a good judge of character,

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Speaker 1: and so you should know if this is a guy

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Speaker 1: that you really want to be with, I mean, if

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Speaker 1: it feels good to you, then you have to move

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Speaker 1: forward with this relationship. And so if you have to decide,

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Speaker 1: you have to say if marriage is what you want,

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Speaker 1: then this is a guy that you should be with.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise then you need to step back and see what's

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Speaker 1: going on with this relationship and take things slowly. So

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Speaker 1: you have to determine if you're moving too fast. But

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Speaker 1: you are fifty eight years old, so you have to

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Speaker 1: decide if you want to get married or not, and

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Speaker 1: then you know, talk to him about this racial issue

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Speaker 1: that you're having about black or chocolate or things like that.

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Speaker 1: Because if you were dating a brother and he called

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Speaker 1: you black or chocolate or something like that, you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have a problem with it. So maybe he's just not

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Speaker 1: aware that that's a sense of the issue with you

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Speaker 1: because of his race. So you got to be able

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Speaker 1: to talk to him about that. Okay, Steve, well this

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Speaker 1: is this is a different one. So here we go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: fifty eight year old black woman dating the sixty one

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Speaker 1: year old white man met him on the dating site

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Speaker 1: for black people. Mh. See, he ain't the only one

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Speaker 1: that's weird. You weird too, see, So let's not just

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Speaker 1: put the weirdness on him. Is it weird that he

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Speaker 1: was on a dating site for black people? It ain't

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Speaker 1: weird that you picked the one white man that's on

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Speaker 1: the site for black people. See everybody playing playing the

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Speaker 1: little thing here. Now, he liked what he saw. You

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Speaker 1: like the fact that he liked what he saw, and

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Speaker 1: you like what you saw, So we really ain't got

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Speaker 1: no problem here. Two people have found each other. Sound

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Speaker 1: like to me? This man fed, fell ahead over heels

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Speaker 1: for me on the first date, got up, kissed you

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Speaker 1: at least four times that night while we was at dinner.

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Speaker 1: Since then, texts ten a day thinking about me, miss me, y'all,

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Speaker 1: go on dates twice a week, we have sex at

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Speaker 1: least once a week. And he's great and bad okay,

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Speaker 1: and ain't nothing rare. So this man is a dream

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Speaker 1: come true? Right? Well are you asking me? Well, it

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Speaker 1: seems like you you're happy right now, but you got

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Speaker 1: a problem with him. You've known this man for a month.

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Speaker 1: He told me he loves me, and he's been shopping

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Speaker 1: for an engagement ring. He wants to get married by

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, that's month after next. The other problem is

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Speaker 1: since we started having sex, he now likes referred to

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Speaker 1: me as his black or chocolate everything. Yeah, this is

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Speaker 1: my little black, This my little black honey bunch, this

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Speaker 1: is my little chocolate thing. Well, I know why he's

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Speaker 1: doing this as a man, and I'm gonna give it

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Speaker 1: to you when we come back. I know exactly what's

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Speaker 1: going on, but you got to find out if this

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Speaker 1: is something you Yeah, I know he's a dude. He's

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Speaker 1: a dude. I know exactly why he's doing it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, all right, Part two. Well, here's this fifty

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Speaker 1: eight year old black wom when met the sixty one

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Speaker 1: year old white man that have met on the dating

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Speaker 1: site for black people. I thought it was strange that

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Speaker 1: he was on that site for blacks. Well, I think

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Speaker 1: it's strange that you got the only white man that

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Speaker 1: was on the site for blacks. So now, I mean,

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Speaker 1: let's let's just be real with it now, sisters. So

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Speaker 1: we really ain't got a problem here. There's two people

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Speaker 1: like what they like. You like hearing me like you?

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Speaker 1: She said, But I guess he likes what he likes.

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Speaker 1: What don't you like what you like? All the black

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Speaker 1: men don't. There you end up with the white man,

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Speaker 1: and what's the problem. Ain't no problem. Y'all got each other.

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Speaker 1: What's the matter? He went on date got I've kissed

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Speaker 1: you four times at night, texts you ten times a day.

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Speaker 1: Y'all gone dates once a week, we have sex, were

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Speaker 1: gone dates twice a week. We have sex at least

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Speaker 1: once a week. He's great in bed. So this man

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Speaker 1: is a dream come true, right, I got a few

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Speaker 1: problems that I need your I've only known this man

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Speaker 1: for a month. He told me he loves me, and

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Speaker 1: he's been shopping for an engagement ring. He won't get

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Speaker 1: married by twenty twenty. Okay, you don't think this is

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Speaker 1: moving kind of fast. I do. After thirty days he

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Speaker 1: wants to buy an engagement ring. You don't even know him,

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Speaker 1: because now you've already developed this one problem in thirty

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Speaker 1: days since we started having sex. He now likes referred

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Speaker 1: to me as his black or chocolate everything. I went

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Speaker 1: from being a hot babe to a chocolate hot babe.

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Speaker 1: Well he should have called you his hot chocolate hot

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Speaker 1: chocolate babe. That would have been. But he now refers

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Speaker 1: to me as his beautiful black girlfriend when we own dates,

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Speaker 1: and it's getting on my my question to you, if

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Speaker 1: he was dating a white girl, would he call her

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Speaker 1: this is my beautiful white girlfriend. But he has referred

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Speaker 1: to you as his beautiful black girlfriend. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: teach you something now. Now you his black this or

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Speaker 1: his black that, and his chocolate this and his chocolate that,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to have a conversation with him

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Speaker 1: in due time. I need to make sure that I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be staying with him at first, because he was

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Speaker 1: on dating site for black singers. But he says, I'm

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Speaker 1: first black woman he's dated. Wait a minute, hold up, Okay,

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Speaker 1: see it's too much going on him. He on the

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Speaker 1: dating site for black women. You the first black woman

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Speaker 1: he ever dated. He's sixty one. Really, really, You've been

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Speaker 1: attracted to black women for a long time. That's why

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Speaker 1: your ass is on the dating site. So let's just

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Speaker 1: gonna stop this right now. This ain't brand new, partner. Now,

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Speaker 1: if it is brand new, I want to tell you

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Speaker 1: why you were being referred to as black this and

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Speaker 1: chocolate this and black this with him, Because there's an

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Speaker 1: old saying that women of color are the forbidden fruit.

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Speaker 1: There's an old saying. Now I'm just gonna teach you something.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to be stuck on the old saying

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Speaker 1: or not. Is it because this is new to him?

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Speaker 1: Is this because you are a novelty to him? Is

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Speaker 1: this is because you are fulfilling a fantasy to him?

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Speaker 1: Is this because you are this new item to him?

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Speaker 1: Could you have become his very own prize possession? I

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Speaker 1: finally got my very own chocolate soul and so I

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Speaker 1: got my own black this or that. So now the

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Speaker 1: extra label is because it is fulfilling a fantasy that

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Speaker 1: he's had, and now he has it and men have

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Speaker 1: to put it in a category. So you are my black,

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Speaker 1: hot black thing, my hot black chocolate babe. He wouldn't

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Speaker 1: say none of this if you were white. But now

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Speaker 1: since you getting called this or that and you've only

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Speaker 1: known him for a month, what I want you to

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Speaker 1: do is take your time, slow your role with this diamerine.

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Speaker 1: Because right now y'all having y'all going out twice a

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Speaker 1: week and having sex once a week. He's great in bed.

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Speaker 1: The only problem you got it you black distress. Have

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Speaker 1: y'all gotten mad at each other yet? Come on before see,

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Speaker 1: because this is going to happen in the relationship. Have

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Speaker 1: y'all had a real, real disagreement and then with it,

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Speaker 1: because then you might find out that you might be

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Speaker 1: a little bit molding hot chocolate. Okay, yeah, all, my

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Speaker 1: black girlfred, you might find out that you might be

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Speaker 1: something else. So I think you need to let this

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Speaker 1: relationship develop a little bit more to make sure that

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Speaker 1: you're not part of a fetish. A long time for

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Speaker 1: feel fantasy and just up in here. Finally he got

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Speaker 1: his very own black or his own chocolate. Now that's

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Speaker 1: not the case with all interracial couples. I'm just referring

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Speaker 1: only to this strawberry letter because there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of interracial couples just working just fine and don't have

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Speaker 1: all these references. Or you could have that little reference

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Speaker 1: every now and then, you know, like you might want

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Speaker 1: to call him, you know you you my little frosty snowpop.

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Speaker 1: You know you my little snowflake. You know you might

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Speaker 1: want to call him some of that, you know, and

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Speaker 1: you know he get cute with you. You know you're

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Speaker 1: my little chocolate drop. You're all that's sexy. But you

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Speaker 1: know you feel to be my little white eye sickle

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Speaker 1: or something. You don't stand now, we were feel to

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Speaker 1: put these names on each other. You canna get called something? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just telling me, Hey, we are you my little snowflake?

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Speaker 1: You feel to be something? All right? But I think

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Speaker 1: y'all just wait until you get mad so you can

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Speaker 1: find out make sure you ain't be something else black

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Speaker 1: or chocolate. That's my advice. Alrighty, mister Harvey Man, it's

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Speaker 1: coming coming. I love you. I'm sure you gotta go

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Speaker 1: coming up. Make sure you check out the Strawbay Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast too. Onto Max, you're listening to the Stave Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show