Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear.
Speaker 1: But you're a guest to my home.
Speaker 2: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guests,
Speaker 2: your presences presence enough, and I already had too much stuff,
Speaker 2: So how do you.
Speaker 3: Dare to surbey me? Welcome to, I said, no Gifts.
Speaker 3: I'm Pritchard Wine girl. We're in the backyard. I hope
Speaker 3: you're enjoying yourself. I hope you're having a nice time
Speaker 3: and whatever casino you're currently in, just sitting there with
Speaker 3: a cigarette dangling out of your mouth or whatever you're doing.
Speaker 3: My lunch tasted weird. Let's get into the podcast. I
Speaker 3: adore today's guest. He's just so funny. It's Moroka Mo.
Speaker 3: Welcome to, I said, Okaifts.
Speaker 4: I'm so happy to be here. I never saw Eat, Pray, Love,
Speaker 4: but I feel like she probably went to a place
Speaker 4: like this at some point.
Speaker 3: This backyard.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, it's like, what is this a palazzo? It's something.
Speaker 4: It's if I had been brought here blindfolded, and I
Speaker 4: won't say that I wasn't and I would. I'm not
Speaker 4: sure I know where I was that.
Speaker 3: We want to just disorient the guests. That's the entire
Speaker 3: purpose of this backyard. Just leave them feeling very confused
Speaker 3: and dizzy.
Speaker 4: And I am, is this the Shangri Law neighborhood of
Speaker 4: Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: You're in town for just a few days. What have
Speaker 3: you been up to?
Speaker 4: You know, I've just been driving into I was on
Speaker 4: KTLA this morning fall.
Speaker 3: That's exciting.
Speaker 4: It was exciting. They have so much fun on that
Speaker 4: morning show. The amount of time they devoted to the
Speaker 4: masked singer. I just I thought, this is where I
Speaker 4: want to be right now. The world's on fire, and
Speaker 4: I mean this, I mean, they were just having a
Speaker 4: great time and they brought me on set, and I
Speaker 4: just thought, my teeth are just not white enough to
Speaker 4: be here. I mean, they're not and I'm embarrassed. I'm
Speaker 4: okay with my teeth being a little askew, right, but
Speaker 4: they are not right enough. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like morning shows. I'm surprised they don't check
Speaker 3: teeth at the door, right. That feels I mean, everybody
Speaker 3: on the glowing.
Speaker 4: Teeth gleaming like it comes like with a sound.
Speaker 3: Effect, right. I don't know that teeth bleaching is in
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 4: Teeth white bleaching.
Speaker 3: White, Yeah, whitening.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't think you need it. I can tell
Speaker 4: right now.
Speaker 3: Well, you know my teeth, but they're like a natural
Speaker 3: tooth color, I would assume, or I know, but you
Speaker 3: see people with white teeth and you're like, am I
Speaker 3: doing this wrong?
Speaker 5: Or right?
Speaker 3: Maybe it's all right?
Speaker 4: Well, I wonder if you if do you happen to
Speaker 4: have one of those Sherman Williams kind of what are the.
Speaker 3: Wheel of paint sample thing? Yeah?
Speaker 4: The sample things? What a crew? Is that the color
Speaker 4: the teeth should be?
Speaker 3: Oh? A crew? I've never heard of a crew? Is
Speaker 3: it kind of an eggshell? Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh, okay shell.
Speaker 3: I feel like there should be a whole line of
Speaker 3: paints just after different types.
Speaker 4: Of teeth, different types of teeth. But it is crazy
Speaker 4: how out here everybody has I mean, so many people
Speaker 4: have the same teeth.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the teeth that have come from factory.
Speaker 4: I mean, how are these people going to be identified later?
Speaker 3: That's a great question. I've never thought about that. How
Speaker 3: does a veneer work as far as the uniqueness of
Speaker 3: a tooth? Interesting?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Yes, well I guess do you maybe? I guess your
Speaker 3: molars are like the last hope because you probably don't
Speaker 3: get a veneer on your molar.
Speaker 4: Probably not. Did I have those taken out? I can't remember.
Speaker 4: I had my wisdom teeth taking down to different than
Speaker 4: my molars.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when you had your wisdom teeth?
Speaker 4: Yes, I do remember, because you had to. I don't
Speaker 4: know if they still do it the same way, but
Speaker 4: I was living in Dallas. Dallas is of course where
Speaker 4: you get your wisdom teeth taken out. That's why I
Speaker 4: moved there. I mean, I was anticipating it's a must.
Speaker 4: The New York Times thirty six hours in Dallas, have
Speaker 4: your wisdom teeth taken out. And you know, back then,
Speaker 4: back then in the nineties, you had to have someone
Speaker 4: that would It's like someone picking you up from your colonoscopy.
Speaker 4: You had to have somebody that was going to pick
Speaker 4: you up after your wisdom teeth were taken out and
Speaker 4: be with you if you were single. And at the
Speaker 4: time I was single and my friend Stephanie was like
Speaker 4: watching over me. And I don't know how long I
Speaker 4: was in a Hayes four, but I do remember. Sorry,
Speaker 4: this is really graphic. I remember. Actually I never haven't
Speaker 4: thought about this since the nineties. I had to go
Speaker 4: to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and
Speaker 4: and I went and I sat down, and I was
Speaker 4: so tired from the antesesia. I guess that when I
Speaker 4: was sitting down, Oh my god, what's happening.
Speaker 3: The helicopters here. They're here too early. We were going
Speaker 3: to send you out on the copter, but they'll just wait.
Speaker 3: So you're waking up in the middle of the night.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I had to relieve myself. I was just
Speaker 4: going to pee, and but I was sitting down because
Speaker 4: I was just sort of be in a haze. Actually
Speaker 4: I do that all the time anyway. But and I
Speaker 4: rested my elbows like on my knees and and my
Speaker 4: head like in one hand, basically, just as I was
Speaker 4: sort of tired. And there are little stitches that they
Speaker 4: put in there, and they kind of came on. I
Speaker 4: think they came undone, yeah, because I applied so much
Speaker 4: pressure on them.
Speaker 3: And then I mean it was like gushing blood. What happened.
Speaker 4: It wasn't really, it was just a little taste.
Speaker 3: Well then it was a little midnight snack.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then I went and had some sorbet just
Speaker 4: as a palate lenser.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wisdom teeth removal is the one time I've ever
Speaker 3: been put out completely and it's a that part of
Speaker 3: it is a very exciting experience.
Speaker 4: I love that part of it. Now when you have
Speaker 4: and when you have an upper giendoscopy, also they put
Speaker 4: you do they put you out for the colon? They
Speaker 4: put you out. They put you out for the one
Speaker 4: that goes in your throat.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, right, and not for a colonauster They don't.
Speaker 4: But if you have them at the same time, if
Speaker 4: it's a two camera shoot, they do, which I have.
Speaker 4: And I always wonder about the coverage of it, like
Speaker 4: are the cameras going to see each other on editing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, solve all of those problems.
Speaker 4: Well, but you get to make sure not to cross
Speaker 4: the line. I think that's what the DP will tell
Speaker 4: you if you if you if you have a really
Speaker 4: good insurance, Planet comes with the DP.
Speaker 3: It's covered by the guild. This is a union approved shoot, right, Okay.
Speaker 3: So you were saying that they were talking about the
Speaker 3: mask singer this morning. Were you able to contribute to
Speaker 3: that conversation at all.
Speaker 4: I wasn't. I acknowledged it because I think it was
Speaker 4: important to acknowledge that they've been talking about it, and
Speaker 4: then we started talking about famous people who died in
Speaker 4: the same day, because that's why they had be come
Speaker 4: on to talk to us.
Speaker 3: Died in the same day, well.
Speaker 4: June twenty fifth, twenty nine, when Pharaoh Faucet and Michael
Speaker 4: Jackson died. Right, Yeah, I felt so bad for you know,
Speaker 4: she had the first half of the day depending on
Speaker 4: where you lived, like on the East Coast, she had
Speaker 4: most of the waking hours in La. She really got
Speaker 4: screwed over. I mean, she did die that day, so
Speaker 4: she was technically already it was a lousy day for her,
Speaker 4: but it got worse when Michael Jackson overshadowed her.
Speaker 3: Right, my wife came on the record.
Speaker 4: Yeah, kind of like really pushed off the front page.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The next day on CBS's Early Show More Morning Show,
Speaker 4: Michael Jackson was mentioned over one hundred times. Fair foss
Speaker 4: I got six mentions, Oh my god. And Ed McMahon
Speaker 4: had died two days before and people.
Speaker 3: Had already forgot forget what he's a shadow at that point. Wow,
Speaker 3: one hundred versus six.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, it was a shock with him, right, Like,
Speaker 4: she had been sick, she had been ill. We knew
Speaker 4: she was ill and she really also, I mean, she
Speaker 4: did a reality show at the end about the cancer
Speaker 4: she was living with, which is anal cancer, which at
Speaker 4: the time no one wanted to mention, and to her
Speaker 4: great credit, she mentioned it her She talked about it
Speaker 4: explicitly and that was good.
Speaker 3: And then here comes Michael just forget all about.
Speaker 4: It, yes, like moon offing right into her shot, like, yeah,
Speaker 4: but it's happened. It's happened a lot. I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: Margaret Thatcher and a net Fuinicello died in the same day.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I imagine Margaret was the big big ticket
Speaker 3: there for print.
Speaker 4: It was because she was an important death and it
Speaker 4: was obviously, but a net Funicello I think she was
Speaker 4: like she was such a big deal in the fifties
Speaker 4: and sixties, Like it's like you teach Selena Gomez and
Speaker 4: who's what the high school musical the Vanessa Hudgens, Oh right,
Speaker 4: and multiply that by like orders of magnitude bigger. I mean,
Speaker 4: she was so big. So for baby boomers, I think
Speaker 4: it was kind of like, we should be talking about
Speaker 4: Margaret Thatcher, but we want to be talking about a
Speaker 4: net Finicello, Right, what year was that? Uh, oh gosh,
Speaker 4: when did they die? It was before Meryl Street made
Speaker 4: the movie. Oh, okay, I don't have the I don't
Speaker 4: have the year for you thirteen us it was twenty thirteen.
Speaker 3: Wow. For whatever reason, neither of these crossed my desk.
Speaker 3: I don't remember either of them dying, and that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Those are both big deaths.
Speaker 4: Were you having your wisdom teeth taken out that day?
Speaker 3: There was an hour that I don't remember from that day,
Speaker 3: and it's the hour I'm usually online, so maybe that's
Speaker 3: what happened. Yeah, that's really fascinating.
Speaker 4: Oh, it is interesting who gets well sometimes? You know,
Speaker 4: some of these the coverage really holds up. Like Jim
Speaker 4: Henson and Sammy Davis Junior died on the same day, right,
Speaker 4: I mean, just two brilliant creative talents, and the newspapers,
Speaker 4: if you look back at them, they were side by
Speaker 4: side for the most part. The television coverage it was
Speaker 4: usually like two great Hollywood or you know, the the
Speaker 4: legends of television Hollywood died left us today and it
Speaker 4: was appropriate. And I think, even looking back now, it's like, yes,
Speaker 4: that makes sense. I don't know who I would have
Speaker 4: given lead coverage to.
Speaker 3: Right and remind me of what Jim I remember him dying.
Speaker 3: What did he die of?
Speaker 4: He died? It was it was a kind of pneumonia.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of the time at the time,
Speaker 4: people thought, oh, it was this HIV is an a
Speaker 4: It's like, it's this euphemistic and it was not. He
Speaker 4: had an infection and was it a bacterial infection?
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, I have like a weird, foggy memory
Speaker 3: of it being strep throat, which can't possibly be true.
Speaker 5: Wait it is, yeah, streptocockle toxic shock syndrome caused by
Speaker 5: a strap.
Speaker 4: Yeah god, and I really yeah, thank you for that boy,
Speaker 4: for that fact check. I'm embarrassed. And I called it pneumonia.
Speaker 4: I think we thought it was pneumonia at first.
Speaker 3: Sorry anyway, Wow, that I've held onto that information that
Speaker 3: long and almost no other.
Speaker 4: Information amazing that you knew that that is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it felt like a like a weird childhood logic,
Speaker 3: where like I had had strep throat, so that would
Speaker 3: I imagine that would kill someone. But I guess I
Speaker 3: just had a personal attachment to strep throat and it
Speaker 3: stuck with me.
Speaker 4: Well, I could have also had something to do with
Speaker 4: your attachment to the Muppets. Well, certain, I mean, I
Speaker 4: mean it was I mean, it was a really it
Speaker 4: was a real shocker.
Speaker 3: Yeah right, it was a shock, right because he was
Speaker 3: fairly young.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and he like apparently walked into an emergency
Speaker 4: rooms that I'm not feeling. Wow, oh my god. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean it's really terrible. I mean, his junior had
Speaker 4: been ill for a long time, he'd throat cancer and
Speaker 4: they had a huge send off on ABC with you know,
Speaker 4: Gregor Hines danced with him when he could barely stand up,
Speaker 4: and it was pretty amazing.
Speaker 3: Right, Wow, what a day, what a memory?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what have you been doing to fill your days?
Speaker 3: Has the strike affected you at all?
Speaker 4: No, I'm fortunate because I work in news and it's
Speaker 4: covered under a different contract, right yeah, So yeah.
Speaker 3: It's only affected you as far as you're watching it all.
Speaker 4: Unfold, yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And hopefully by the time this releases, the sex strike
Speaker 3: will be over. But as of today, it's just all
Speaker 3: blown up again, which is.
Speaker 4: I read that, and it's terrible, and I mean I'm
Speaker 4: not saying anything new here, but boy, the amounts of
Speaker 4: money that the heads of these company make oh, I mean,
Speaker 4: I think we'll look back and it's I think, well,
Speaker 4: we don't even need to look back. It's appalling now,
Speaker 4: but but it's interesting to see how this will be
Speaker 4: viewed even just a few years from now, Like, really,
Speaker 4: it's kind of nuts.
Speaker 3: I think about these like five extremely wealthy people. I'm
Speaker 3: always like, isn't there one child in one of those
Speaker 3: families that's like Dad, this doesn't seem like the right
Speaker 3: thing to do. Or they're all just greed driven psychos.
Speaker 4: You know, it's so interesting you say that, I don't
Speaker 4: is this. I don't think there's anything wrong with revealing this.
Speaker 4: I had Lloyd Blankfine, who was running Goldman Sachs I
Speaker 4: think I had that right, came by CBS where I work,
Speaker 4: and there was talk about doing a piece on him,
Speaker 4: and he mentioned that his kids say to him it's
Speaker 4: hard to have a job in the service industry and
Speaker 4: to support yourself. And he was candid and he said
Speaker 4: what he told his kids, which is, well, you just
Speaker 4: have to work harder. Like he didn't feel that the
Speaker 4: system was fundamentally flawed. He also thought, I think what
Speaker 4: a lot of that. There are obviously people who think
Speaker 4: this that taxes are largely wasted. I think the example,
Speaker 4: and I want to be fair here the example he said,
Speaker 4: when you would just go through like the Midtown Tunnel,
Speaker 4: that the money that you're spending is allocated, you know,
Speaker 4: both to municipal and state government, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 4: A lot of it is just wasted. So I don't
Speaker 4: know anyway, but he seemed pretty comfortable with how things stand.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you just get to that spot and
Speaker 3: completely forget.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, did you have prior to your career becoming your career,
Speaker 3: did you have any day jobs or service jops.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I delivered pizza for a while. I was, you know,
Speaker 4: a movie theater usher. When I first got out of college,
Speaker 4: I had two jobs waiting tables. I worked at pizzeria
Speaker 4: UNO's during the day in Georgetown, and at night I
Speaker 4: was a roller skating waiter at a place called Lenny Swass,
Speaker 4: which was you know, I grew up in DC, and
Speaker 4: that's where I went right after I finished school, just
Speaker 4: for a while to earn money to move to New York.
Speaker 4: And this restaurant where the waiters roller skated and sang
Speaker 4: was sort of Washington's version of Wacky and Inzany, which
Speaker 4: of course was Sostogian, not that Zany and roller blades
Speaker 4: had just come in and one waiter, I think it
Speaker 4: was the head waiter, was on roller blade, which was
Speaker 4: really great. Yeah, but it was actually a lot safer
Speaker 4: to just be on the four wheeled roller skates because
Speaker 4: if you got nervous, if you were carings of say
Speaker 4: a bowl of hot French onion soup, and you thought,
Speaker 4: oh my god, you could just sort of step like
Speaker 4: kind of walk around because they were the four wheeled
Speaker 4: ones clumpy.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Were you a natural roller skater before you got
Speaker 3: the job?
Speaker 4: I had been, because I liked to roller skate in
Speaker 4: the basement, or as my father would called a seller
Speaker 4: of our house. And my father played the trumpet, and
Speaker 4: so he would play the trumpet Dixie Land jazz while
Speaker 4: I would roller skate in the cellar, pretending I was
Speaker 4: Dorothy Hamill at Innsbruck, Austria in nineteen seventy six, because
Speaker 4: there was a pole in the middle, and so I
Speaker 4: could grab the pole and just spin in a way
Speaker 4: like I could pretend I was doing a seal cow
Speaker 4: or a toe loop, or what's the other one. There's
Speaker 4: a triple sell cow, the toe loop and there's one.
Speaker 4: There's a third one I'm forgetting. Yeah, there's like three
Speaker 4: of them. But anyway, and our dryer didn't work for
Speaker 4: a long time. I don't know why. We just didn't
Speaker 4: get a new one anyway, But so we would hang
Speaker 4: sheets and clothes and clotheslines in the cellar. But what
Speaker 4: you could do then if you were roller skating through
Speaker 4: the cellar is it felt like Xanadu basically like Olivia John. Yeah,
Speaker 4: going through like you know, just going through sheets and
Speaker 4: towels that were hanging there like.
Speaker 3: Like a haunted house.
Speaker 4: Well, I guess so many ways, yes, but yeah, it
Speaker 4: was to be able to skate through that. There were
Speaker 4: constant reveals by doing that, uh huh?
Speaker 3: And are exciting really training you for the obstacles of
Speaker 3: a restaurant?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I guess. So I never listened. I never dropped a play.
Speaker 3: Did when you applied for the job, did they just
Speaker 3: ask you can you roller skate? Or did you have
Speaker 3: to demonstrate? You know?
Speaker 4: I think I had sort of an old showbized streak,
Speaker 4: which was sort of like just say you can do it.
Speaker 4: You also had to sing, and so I sang a song,
Speaker 4: a Tom Lair song called the Masochism tango. So the
Speaker 4: idea was that you'd serve, you know, the diners, and
Speaker 4: then you'd get up and you'd sing. The waiters would
Speaker 4: all sing different things, and the restaurant was on its
Speaker 4: last legs at that point. It was holding on to
Speaker 4: this that that Elizabeth Taylor during her penultimate marriage I
Speaker 4: think that's right, was to Senator John Warner. So she
Speaker 4: had had a DC phase and she liked going to
Speaker 4: this restaurant. So they really held onto it.
Speaker 3: But this was like that over lasts so long.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can't stop after that exactly. It's like she'd
Speaker 4: moved on to the to the construction worker, to Larry
Speaker 4: Fourtenski by this point. So it was, oh, Liz Taylor
Speaker 4: likes Lenny Swass and it's like, yeah, but that was
Speaker 4: over ten years ago.
Speaker 3: Forget it. Yeah, I mean it was the quality of
Speaker 3: food horrible.
Speaker 4: I think it was fine, Yeah, it was okay.
Speaker 3: And while you've were I mean, I feel like when
Speaker 3: I'm on roller skates or rollerblades, I have a very
Speaker 3: hard time not being happy. But I feel like when
Speaker 3: you're at work, that's got to be such a confusing
Speaker 3: journey emotionally. Were you mad to be at work or
Speaker 3: was it a fun time?
Speaker 4: No? No, I was twenty two, so I wasn't mad
Speaker 4: to be at work. I was a little nervous because
Speaker 4: the carpet would sometimes wrinkle and that's really dangerous.
Speaker 3: A really flat car. Oh what are they doing?
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I mean this was really hazardous. And it
Speaker 4: was a very stressful timecause during the day I was
Speaker 4: working at pizzer Rihounos where they had the five it
Speaker 4: was something like the five minute lunch, and so you'd
Speaker 4: have to get the And I experienced this with and
Speaker 4: I think it's illegal now with delivering pizza where if
Speaker 4: you didn't get the pizza to the person in thirty minutes,
Speaker 4: the delivery, you know, and they'd be standing at the door.
Speaker 4: It was called pisa movers. It was a poor man's
Speaker 4: like dominoes. And I think that's illegal now because people
Speaker 4: were crashing into each other, you know, and of course,
Speaker 4: like you know, running over people so that you wouldn't
Speaker 4: get docked. But Pizza r UNO's had a five minute lunch.
Speaker 4: Five minutes, yeah, so from the time you ordered the
Speaker 4: express lunch. From the time you ordered it, you were
Speaker 4: supposed to get your lunch. I can't remember the exact time.
Speaker 4: I think it was five or ten minutes. But that
Speaker 4: was very stressful during the day, and I think they
Speaker 4: would dock your pay if you were late a certain
Speaker 4: number of times, so stressful. So yeah, during the day
Speaker 4: I was racing against the clock and at night I
Speaker 4: was just hoping not to burn someone to death.
Speaker 3: Yeah, ten minute pizza delivery feels like a physical impossibility
Speaker 3: unless you live next year.
Speaker 4: This was sorry, this is pizza huas in the restaurant.
Speaker 3: Oh this is I'm imagining you driving around town in
Speaker 3: an absolute panic.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so no, we'd had to live in someplace
Speaker 4: with like pneumatic tubes. We we're just pizza.
Speaker 3: Shot lamming against walls, tomato sauce everywhere. But you were
Speaker 3: a delivery driver prior to this.
Speaker 4: Yes, I was a delivery driver for pizza Movers, and
Speaker 4: I was a waiter in house for Pizza Rica Uno.
Speaker 3: Wow, I really did it all. Yeah, as a pizza
Speaker 3: delivery driver, were there any scary moments?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I think because in that case it was
Speaker 4: a it was a thirty minute time limit, and it
Speaker 4: was scary. I mean, it was also kind of thrilling,
Speaker 4: and I think I was driving stick shift, so that
Speaker 4: felt exciting, like you know, doing that kind of a thing.
Speaker 4: And it was a Mazda I think it was a
Speaker 4: car used car that I bought.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you just get to listen to music and
Speaker 3: deliver pizza.
Speaker 4: I guess it had a radio.
Speaker 3: But there was never like a moment where you pulled
Speaker 3: up to an empty lot, like physically scary.
Speaker 4: I don't remember feeling threatened, if that's a tad, right. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I wasn't lured to an address that didn't exist, that
Speaker 4: was just an empty lot. No, I don't think nothing
Speaker 4: like that ever happened.
Speaker 3: Okay, now that would be my big fear there was.
Speaker 3: I believe there was an unsolved mysteries about you know,
Speaker 3: delivery driver pulls up, it's an empty field. That's the
Speaker 3: last we see of them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, that did not. Thankfully, that did not happen
Speaker 4: to me. But I did you know when I worked
Speaker 4: at Pizzeria Uno. It's a place where I was in
Speaker 4: Georgetown where I actually was a waiter. To remember that
Speaker 4: I served a really really big party and at the
Speaker 4: end they didn't jump the check, but they left no tip,
Speaker 4: and it was a minimum if it was six people
Speaker 4: or more, there was an automatic you were not by law,
Speaker 4: but they would add in oppatuity. And this was a
Speaker 4: probably a party of twelve, and they left nothing, and
Speaker 4: so I went and I told the manager, and I
Speaker 4: remember he ran out with me to the people down
Speaker 4: the street and he got to the head of the
Speaker 4: party and he said, you didn't leave a tap and
Speaker 4: you really are supposed to have it six or more.
Speaker 4: And the guy looked at him and then turned to
Speaker 4: me and said, with just pity. He just said, I'm sorry,
Speaker 4: but he wasn't very good. And I remember then looking
Speaker 4: at the manager and I spread to you, going, he's right.
Speaker 4: It was just like it was such a pathetic moment,
Speaker 4: but no defense. I had no defense, and I wasn't
Speaker 4: angry at the guy, but he's right. It took me
Speaker 4: forever to get them what they needed. But I just
Speaker 4: remember that he said, I'm just so sorry. He just
Speaker 4: wasn't very good.
Speaker 3: I'm still on your side here, though, even if the services,
Speaker 3: unless the service is like actively, you know, you're attacking
Speaker 3: the customer. Right, everybody realizes how hard all of this is.
Speaker 3: Leave a little.
Speaker 4: Something, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was pretty rough. It
Speaker 4: was I hopefully have built something character I don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean speaking of people just being kind of
Speaker 3: cruel and mindless. Something I'd like to talk to you about.
Speaker 4: Is it about Charles Manson who died on the same
Speaker 4: day as Dela Reese. Yes, which is terrible. Is del
Speaker 4: Reice was great. She was really talented. Delirius is great.
Speaker 4: And even if you're not a touch fine angel person,
Speaker 4: if you are more a doctor Quinn medicine woman person,
Speaker 4: you have to acknowledge her talent.
Speaker 3: She was a presence.
Speaker 4: Her presence, Yes, her presence alone.
Speaker 3: I mean not to say that Charles didn't have a presence. Now.
Speaker 4: I understand Charles Manson haunted people's nightmares. I understand the
Speaker 4: decision to give him more coverage the day that they died.
Speaker 4: But this is when we all need to take a
Speaker 4: step back and say, del Reice chic going the man,
Speaker 4: her greatest hits. She grew up singing with Mehelia Jackson
Speaker 4: Touched by an Angel. You may not have liked it,
Speaker 4: but like forty fucking billion people watched it every Sunday night.
Speaker 3: She wasn't involved in that many murders, right.
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3: I feel like we know of it. Yeah, it could
Speaker 3: come out at some point. Maybe she was part of
Speaker 3: the Manson family. Wouldn't that be a reveal? Dela re's
Speaker 3: the lost Manson family member.
Speaker 4: I'd like to think though, if she had been, she
Speaker 4: would have set them straight.
Speaker 3: Stop that murdering, Well happened to Charles jailhouse bride? Didn't
Speaker 3: he have a bride? Oh?
Speaker 4: I think he did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's up to now.
Speaker 4: I don't know if she married to one of the
Speaker 4: Menandez brothers, so I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 3: She is crossing names off a list. I feel like
Speaker 3: I need to get on one of those jail dating
Speaker 3: websites and strike up a romance.
Speaker 4: It's so interesting. It can't be called jay dating. Oh right,
Speaker 4: it's already taken.
Speaker 3: That's taken. Yeah, p dating, prison dating.
Speaker 4: Pee dating. Oh no, that sounds like something else. Yeah, well,
Speaker 4: you know there must be a play on something like
Speaker 4: sing sing or like sing saying now, like Levenworth what
Speaker 4: can we do with.
Speaker 3: Levenworth single bars? Yeah, something like that. There's some sort
Speaker 3: of jail.
Speaker 4: Yeah block Yeah, alcatractive, they're alcatrackt a you are you
Speaker 4: alcatracted to me?
Speaker 5: I mean I found one that's called meat and inmate.
Speaker 3: That feels I don't know.
Speaker 5: That's nineteens, nineteen ninety eight. So this sounds like it,
Speaker 5: you know, is a little bit more analog. Love a prisoner,
Speaker 5: write a prisoner, classified inmate mingle dating prisoners. They're not
Speaker 5: very creative with their names. Friends beyond the wall.
Speaker 3: That sounds a little.
Speaker 5: Want to be inmates inmate passions.
Speaker 4: Inmate passion, Well, that's okay.
Speaker 5: Can median inmates connect?
Speaker 3: Wow? The options are there's a bounty of options if
Speaker 3: you want to get with a prisoner, good, wonderful, adopt,
Speaker 3: don't shop this sort of thing. Um, well, it feels
Speaker 3: like you're really trying to throw the podcast. If you're
Speaker 3: trying to the podcast is called I said no gifts.
Speaker 3: I was very excited to have you here today.
Speaker 4: Well, but I like it's the way I was raised.
Speaker 4: I couldn't come here without a gift. It's just not
Speaker 4: who I am.
Speaker 3: I looks down the driveway and you're holding Yes, it's
Speaker 3: clearly a gift.
Speaker 4: Yes, I wanted to Well, I'm just going to give.
Speaker 3: It to you. Okay, it's a it's in a white bag.
Speaker 4: It's in a white, very.
Speaker 3: Classy looking bag. Should I open it? Here? On the podcast.
Speaker 4: I really, I really wish you would. I really wish
Speaker 4: you would. As you can see, I brought it in.
Speaker 3: A bag from from the four seasons.
Speaker 4: From the Beverly Wilshire four season.
Speaker 3: Incredible is the gift inside from the four seasons.
Speaker 4: It is from the four seasons.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna reach in here and okay, there's some tissue.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, here we go. So there's some tissue. We're
Speaker 3: getting that on the mic, I'm unwrapping, unwrapping. Oh, it's
Speaker 3: a towel.
Speaker 4: It is a hand hotel towel. It is a hand
Speaker 4: towel from the Beverly Willshare and you know the Beverly
Speaker 4: Will Share. It just has such an amazing history. And
Speaker 4: you know, I thought, and I actually have a brochure
Speaker 4: here and I want to include it the Beverly Will Share.
Speaker 4: You know, that's a map of LA Subway. Sorry. The
Speaker 4: Beverly Willshare was built in January nineteen twenty eight, and
Speaker 4: it is it's no stranger to fame as celebrities, royalty
Speaker 4: and the international elite have all stayed here. And you know,
Speaker 4: I started thinking of all the amazing people who have
Speaker 4: used that hand towel you know, I thought, you know,
Speaker 4: Herbert Hoover would be elected soon after it open, and
Speaker 4: I suspect that he might have used that hand hole.
Speaker 4: He sweated a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, before you go any further, I should
Speaker 3: say the podcast is sponsored by Travel Lodge. But we
Speaker 3: can continue, we can keep talking. So this is actually
Speaker 3: like a room towel.
Speaker 4: It is a room hand towel.
Speaker 3: And did you tell the hotel staff I need a
Speaker 3: gift bag. I need to wrap this up because it's
Speaker 3: clearly been wrapped by somebody.
Speaker 4: I told them that I needed a bag and some
Speaker 4: tissue paper, and I just assumed they would surmise he
Speaker 4: didn't fur the rest that I was going to be
Speaker 4: gifting one of their historic hand towels. You know, nineteen
Speaker 4: twenty eight was the end of the silent era, so
Speaker 4: I think that Greta Garbo may have used that hand
Speaker 4: howel as a silent film actress. And when she went
Speaker 4: and did a Christie and you know, and Camille and
Speaker 4: all of her great early sound work.
Speaker 3: And all the sweatings she did when she realized I've
Speaker 3: got it to make the transition. How will this affect
Speaker 3: my career?
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I can just see it right now that
Speaker 4: she was so nervous about how she would sound in
Speaker 4: her first sound test.
Speaker 3: Still audiences accepted.
Speaker 4: Yes. And she wiped her face with that towel, and
Speaker 4: as she it dropped down, she looked in the mirror
Speaker 4: and annalis, what's the first thing? She said? It was
Speaker 4: an anti Christie Gretigorpa's first words were I want another
Speaker 4: Scotch or I give me a Vodkas stinger. Now that's
Speaker 4: onlein stretch. What did she say? She wanted to drink,
Speaker 4: Give me another one and make it whatever one coke zero.
Speaker 5: Please give me a whiskey ginger ale on the side,
Speaker 5: and don't be stingy baby.
Speaker 4: Yes, and she practiced that as she finished wiping the
Speaker 4: sweat from her brows.
Speaker 3: Elle was sopping wet at this point.
Speaker 4: Yes. In nineteen seventy they added a Mediterranean style pool
Speaker 4: modeled on Sophia Loren's pool at her villa in Italy.
Speaker 4: And I like to think of Sophia Lorenz coming and using.
Speaker 3: That towel, this single towel. I mean, it's been used
Speaker 3: by stars galore.
Speaker 4: It has been used by stars, It's been involved in scandals.
Speaker 4: I think Daddy Arbuckle, I think used it to soak
Speaker 4: up the blood. No, I'm sorry, he actually was wrongly acute.
Speaker 4: Sorry scratch out from the record, but I'm sure that
Speaker 4: it's been Yeah, well, Pretty Woman was filmed at the
Speaker 4: Beverly will Share a lot of it was filmed there.
Speaker 3: So Richard and Julia, have you they have touched that towel.
Speaker 3: They've probably shared the towel.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they probably shared the towel, both.
Speaker 3: Washing their hands, going headed to craft services. Yes, I
Speaker 3: need to dry off. Seems like I really do believe
Speaker 3: it's probably been found in at least the hands of
Speaker 3: one corpse. When you're a towel at a hotel.
Speaker 4: When you're a towel at a hotel, you're part of
Speaker 4: a crime.
Speaker 3: Scene, you will be I mean, the chances have been
Speaker 3: part of a crime scene are through the roof.
Speaker 4: Absolutely. I mean, let's I think of all the things
Speaker 4: that might have happened. I mean, I wonder if that
Speaker 4: towel had any was touched by any member of the
Speaker 4: Manson family. I hope not. I don't think they were
Speaker 4: saying will Share.
Speaker 3: They probably passed through the past through Yeah, so certainly
Speaker 3: they were also at the fourth season.
Speaker 4: Right, Yes, No, it's amazing what happened. You know, Shirley
Speaker 4: Temple saved twentieth century Fox during the thirties, and I
Speaker 4: hope that they at least offered her a towel. I mean,
Speaker 4: after all she did for them.
Speaker 3: She had her hair wrapped up in this.
Speaker 4: That you make such a great point, for sure, because
Speaker 4: usually you need a whole bath sheet to do the
Speaker 4: whole thing where you're wrapping the turban thing that you do. Right,
Speaker 4: But she was so little.
Speaker 3: Now, when you're a child, when you're a child.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes, yes, as little Nellie Kelly or when she
Speaker 4: sang on the good Ship Lollipop, you know. And she
Speaker 4: probably showered between takes or something. And it was over
Speaker 4: several days probably, It's.
Speaker 3: Like it's famous for showering between takes. She would take.
Speaker 4: It was crazy, well, she was, Yes, she really sweated
Speaker 4: a lot. She would shine a lot, so she'd very
Speaker 4: active swack Lands early in life. And I'd like to
Speaker 4: think that she could have used that towel as a
Speaker 4: hand towel to do that turbin thing.
Speaker 3: I haven't done that in a long time. I should
Speaker 3: do that around the house.
Speaker 4: It's so great, it's so great. Well, then you can
Speaker 4: pretend that you're in an ad from the nineteen seventies.
Speaker 4: It can say I'm rule a Lenska.
Speaker 3: Eating my grapefruit in the morning light. Something like that.
Speaker 3: I feel like, I mean, I have cottage cheese in
Speaker 3: my fridge right now. That's a real food to be
Speaker 3: eating in the towel turbine, certainly. Oh yeah.
Speaker 4: And I also think like, I'm wondering, do you have
Speaker 4: any pets.
Speaker 3: I have a dog.
Speaker 4: A dog's head is small enough to do a turban
Speaker 4: wrap with a hand towel.
Speaker 3: It's ideal. Absolutely, I'm sure my dog will be perfect
Speaker 3: with that. She'll be perfectly fine. She loves things on
Speaker 3: her head. And then we wrap a towel up. I
Speaker 3: put that on my head, put a towel around my waist.
Speaker 3: I've got the landline, the cords stretching all over the house.
Speaker 3: I can imagine myself doing that right now.
Speaker 4: It would be great, you know. And I didn't want
Speaker 4: to get you a facecloth because I think it's kind
Speaker 4: of gross cloth.
Speaker 3: I mean the makeup. You've got people's pores, black heads
Speaker 3: all over that thing. People have been wiping their teeth
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 4: Oh no, absolutely no, No, this is a handheld the
Speaker 4: hands of only the most glamorous people that have passed
Speaker 4: through the Beverly wheel Share for almost one hundred years.
Speaker 3: Do you enjoy staying in a hotel?
Speaker 4: If I can get the pillows right, Oh, if I
Speaker 4: can get the pillows right. I'm having some neck issues
Speaker 4: and I need the pillows to support my cervical curve
Speaker 4: in just the right way. And at home, I have
Speaker 4: three pillows that I know how to arrange perfectly to
Speaker 4: make that happen to create the ridge that I need
Speaker 4: for my cervical curve. And even at a glamorous place
Speaker 4: like the Four Seasons and Beverly willl Share, I can't
Speaker 4: quite get it right. But I do like saying, yeah,
Speaker 4: I like staying in hotels.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good feeling. I love being in a hotel.
Speaker 3: I mean the towels are such a huge part of it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: being able to use towel after towel, I mean it's
Speaker 3: very wasteful.
Speaker 4: Well, no, and to know that, you know you're drying
Speaker 4: off with a towel that Adelaie Stevenson used, you know,
Speaker 4: when he accepted the nomination for president in nineteen fifty six.
Speaker 3: You can't help but feel glamorous.
Speaker 4: Yes, I mean he lost, so you might. You know,
Speaker 4: you have mixed feelings drying off of that towel.
Speaker 3: But it's still an honor to have the towel on. No,
Speaker 3: I like the towel. The pillow thing. I feel like
Speaker 3: some hotels are finally catching on. They're like, people want
Speaker 3: a sturdier pillow. You can tell hotels a little more
Speaker 3: modern that they're a little with the times. If the
Speaker 3: pillow doesn't immediately flatten under your head.
Speaker 4: Well, I think that's right. I think that's right. I
Speaker 4: also find that a little odd well that some of
Speaker 4: the the I don't know what you call the pillows
Speaker 4: that are used over the pillows, sort of the ones
Speaker 4: that are wordless. Well, so in the bed that I'm
Speaker 4: currently in right now at the Beverly Wilshire, there are
Speaker 4: I think, like two sort of pillow proper pillows, proper
Speaker 4: I should call them, right, It's like attorney's general pillows
Speaker 4: proper okay. But then over them are two big square
Speaker 4: pillows with kind of a ridge, and those are sort
Speaker 4: of like almost the equivalent of a bed spread, like
Speaker 4: the decorative pillows. But I need to deploy I need
Speaker 4: to include those pillows in the mix.
Speaker 3: You use them.
Speaker 4: I use them, and those are generally a little denser.
Speaker 4: They're also they're big square shaped pillows. Kind of suddenly
Speaker 4: having a flash to them. When I took home EC
Speaker 4: in eighth grade and we had to sew a nine
Speaker 4: paneled front right three by three on two our pillows.
Speaker 4: We were making pillows quilts over the pillow. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: you could chat during that. You can just you were
Speaker 4: allowed to sort of just chat. And the teacher, I
Speaker 4: wish I could remember her name. She was older, and
Speaker 4: she just didn't like me. And I think it made
Speaker 4: have been that the corners of my panels weren't quite,
Speaker 4: weren't perfect. My friend Mario could do it perfectly, I
Speaker 4: mean perfectly.
Speaker 3: Some people have it, some.
Speaker 4: People out and I didn't have it. And then I
Speaker 4: remember I once said, my father said that Hetty Lamar
Speaker 4: was the most beautiful actress in Hollywood. And then the
Speaker 4: teacher homeback she said Hetty Lamar was beautiful, but she
Speaker 4: was not the most beautiful actress in Hollywood. Ingrid Bergman was.
Speaker 4: And I just and even at the time, I thought,
Speaker 4: all right, you can sort of you can refute what
Speaker 4: I'm saying, because by saying this is subjective, but you're
Speaker 4: saying no, this is actually incorrect. Here is the truth.
Speaker 3: So she wasn't just sharing an opinion yes and saying, well,
Speaker 3: I think she's beautiful, but my personal choice the fact
Speaker 3: that she's attacking a child over this. Yes, there's a
Speaker 3: universal truth.
Speaker 4: And the thing is, I don't know if she was wrong.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: No one ever will.
Speaker 4: We can roll the tape, and I mean, can we
Speaker 4: can examine it. Petty Lamar was beautiful. I'm thinking of
Speaker 4: Tortilla Flat, that movie where she she was miscast as
Speaker 4: a Mexican, but willso was Spencer Tracy. I mean that's
Speaker 4: pretty bad, but she was. She was beautiful in the
Speaker 4: way the Jacqueline Smith. Sorry it's just getting weird, but
Speaker 4: like jack Smith, Yeah, like in Charlie's Angels. Like I
Speaker 4: remember when Jaqueline Smith played Jackie Bouvier Kennedy and my
Speaker 4: father came into the room. I was watching that TV
Speaker 4: movie and my father went, she's too beautiful to play
Speaker 4: Jacqueline One assets.
Speaker 3: You're surrounded by people who are just attacking the women's beauty.
Speaker 4: Well, but I have to say I love people with
Speaker 4: strong opinions about stuff like that. My father went, she's
Speaker 4: too beautiful, she's perfect looking, and she's too beautiful. And
Speaker 4: then my father then said, he said, I always thought
Speaker 4: this isn't a separate conversation. Lady Bird Johnson was more
Speaker 4: attractive than Jackie Kennedy, and my mother would get very upset.
Speaker 4: And even as a child, I understood why my mother
Speaker 4: was getting upset because my mother was frod the going, wait,
Speaker 4: if that's what you think, what do you think about that? Like,
Speaker 4: my father is sort of metric, not metric, but his
Speaker 4: standard was so unconventional right that suddenly it made my mother.
Speaker 3: Insecure as a place her in the scheme of things
Speaker 3: well right, and she.
Speaker 4: Was like, no, Jacqueline Kennedy is the most beautiful first lady.
Speaker 4: But the thing is that I think that Lady Bird
Speaker 4: Johnson was absolutely enchanting and beguiling. If you listen to
Speaker 4: her audio tapes, and this is really gorulish and horrible,
Speaker 4: but when she's talking about the assassination, it's just awful.
Speaker 4: But her accent is so beautiful. I mean, this is terrible,
Speaker 4: but her accent is so beautiful because she says at
Speaker 4: one point you can find this on the internet and
Speaker 4: she goes in the blood oh missus Kennedy's dress, and
Speaker 4: it's horrible. This is horrible, and I'm not laughing about it.
Speaker 4: But it's a beautiful it's a beautiful accent, and she
Speaker 4: has this bump on her nose. And I really don't
Speaker 4: want to dissect women like this, like, but she has this.
Speaker 4: She is like really attractive lady bir Johnson.
Speaker 3: And an unconventional beauty.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't even know that I want to qualify
Speaker 4: it that way. I'm sorry, Bridger. I think that she's
Speaker 4: as obvious choice. Fine. I mean, I haven't checked the
Speaker 4: latest gallop pole on this, although I'm sure that they
Speaker 4: did poles.
Speaker 3: I feel like Jackie is going to pull ahead in
Speaker 3: all those poles, right of course she of course, she
Speaker 3: just assumed. I feel like she's she's a little bit more.
Speaker 3: She's got the name recognition immediately picturing her, the style,
Speaker 3: the grace.
Speaker 4: I think absolutely. And I think that it's just one
Speaker 4: of those things that you just simply say, Okay, yes,
Speaker 4: she was beautiful, and she was great, and she was
Speaker 4: great in many ways, but Lady by Johnson had some
Speaker 4: great things about her. Everyone goes, oh, she cared about
Speaker 4: wild flowers. It was more the highway beautification, that thing
Speaker 4: that was like a whole environmental thing. She had a
Speaker 4: whole thing worked out, that this was only part of it.
Speaker 4: And everyone said, oh, first, lady Lady by Johnson, all
Speaker 4: she cares is highway beautification. That's sweet, that's nice. It
Speaker 4: was really condescending. But she she was an important issue,
Speaker 4: but it was part of also, like she had serious
Speaker 4: environmental concerns.
Speaker 3: And our highways I mean, they've really fallen apart since
Speaker 3: she got behind and it feels like she died well
Speaker 3: she could be, you know, inspiring people from beyond the grave.
Speaker 3: I feel like we're not getting after litterbugs anymore. I
Speaker 3: feel like, until I mean the early thousands, we were
Speaker 3: all worried about littering, and now I don't hear about
Speaker 3: a word about littering. It is, it's out of control.
Speaker 4: I wonder if people are people are people littering as
Speaker 4: much that I think it's Well, there was that great
Speaker 4: little moment in mad Men, and I wasn't a religious
Speaker 4: watcher of mad Men, but you remember Don Draper and
Speaker 4: his wife and the kids go for a picnic and
Speaker 4: at the end of it, they just sort of they
Speaker 4: basically leave all the all the crap there. And I
Speaker 4: thought it was such a great little great detail and
Speaker 4: it was such and I think that's probably how people
Speaker 4: used to be. We don't care enough about lady bugs.
Speaker 4: We were going from lady for Johnson to litterbugs.
Speaker 3: Bug. I love a ladybug. I in Chaa.
Speaker 4: My mother loved lady bugs.
Speaker 3: It's the only bug people are okay with landing on them. Oh.
Speaker 4: Completely. You would have to have a hardest stone. If
Speaker 4: you squash a ladybug, you are a serial killer state
Speaker 4: of mind?
Speaker 3: Could you possibly? I have to kill that, you know.
Speaker 4: And my mother's Colombian and she would I a lady bug,
Speaker 4: She would if a ladies. She would be so excited
Speaker 4: to see a ladybug when we were kids. And they
Speaker 4: are just adorable color and the color.
Speaker 3: And you can buy them by the bag. Have you
Speaker 3: ever seen them in the bag?
Speaker 4: What are you serious?
Speaker 3: This is true? I remember, I mean maybe it's not
Speaker 3: true anymore, but I remember as a kid, we would
Speaker 3: go to the hardware store wherever there would be a
Speaker 3: gardening center and they would just have essentially what was
Speaker 3: a mesh bag full. And this is probably the one
Speaker 3: time where you're like, I don't. Ladybugs are not that
Speaker 3: enchanting right now, because that's a swarm. But they would
Speaker 3: just be full of the ladybugs, and then you would
Speaker 3: take them to your garden, release them, and then they
Speaker 3: would do their thing.
Speaker 4: Because what was their thing?
Speaker 3: I think that they kind of took care of bad bugs,
Speaker 3: which feels interesting. Is there a violent element to a ladybug?
Speaker 3: Am I imagining this? Well?
Speaker 4: I always I like to imagine them sort of under
Speaker 4: the spell of Busby Berkeley, like getting together and doing
Speaker 4: a collaborate dance.
Speaker 3: It's gorgeous dancing through the air.
Speaker 4: Yes, But you know the thing about ladybugs is I
Speaker 4: also love lightning bugs. And I wonder if a ladybug,
Speaker 4: and they're all ladies, met a male lightning bug and
Speaker 4: they had sex, would they produce a ladybug that lit up?
Speaker 4: There were essentially a little gem Oh god go, but
Speaker 4: I would lose my mind if there was a down
Speaker 4: out of those Yes, if there was a ladybug that
Speaker 4: lit up, I mean that would be crazy.
Speaker 3: How have we not crossbred those creatures?
Speaker 4: We have to cross breed them right now? It feels
Speaker 4: very midsummer night's dream. It feels, it's I love it.
Speaker 3: Just swarming trees. Yes, can you cross breed a bug?
Speaker 3: Now that's my big question. You know.
Speaker 4: I always thought, and this is so crazy, for the long,
Speaker 4: for an embarrassingly long time in life, I thought that
Speaker 4: all cats were female and all dogs are male. Oh sure,
Speaker 4: that's a common now, why is it, And that they
Speaker 4: would mate and then if they had like two daughters
Speaker 4: and a son, it would be two cats and a
Speaker 4: dog would come out.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's how it should be.
Speaker 4: It should be.
Speaker 3: Certainly that makes more logical sense than whatever's happening right now.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think I guess we're conditioned as children,
Speaker 3: and I have to imagine at this point in history
Speaker 3: we're not. You know, we've moved beyond this with gender,
Speaker 3: But as a child, I feel like dogs were such
Speaker 3: a masculine thing. Cats were the feminine, so they were
Speaker 3: the women, and we all just believed that they were
Speaker 3: boys and girls.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so, And I don't mind that. I mean, look,
Speaker 4: I don't know that I want a non binary pet.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry. I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 4: get people upset about that. You know, the other thing
Speaker 4: I used to think of it in weird terms of gender.
Speaker 4: Is a table setting. I used to think of like
Speaker 4: a knife as like a handsome man and a spoon,
Speaker 4: which was, I guess is next to the knife usually,
Speaker 4: and the spoon was like like like a lovely sort
Speaker 4: of woman, and they were they were a husband and wife.
Speaker 4: And the fork on the other side it was like
Speaker 4: a vixen trying to take the knife away. And so
Speaker 4: I would cut the meat sometimes before I even understood
Speaker 4: how sex worked at all, and when I cut the meat,
Speaker 4: I'd have the knife go through.
Speaker 3: The fork is ruining sex for every listener right now.
Speaker 4: But I would think of the of the fork as
Speaker 4: being like Joan Commins, like this vixen who was trying
Speaker 4: to take the knife away. But it's really like the
Speaker 4: fork is Glenn Close, the knife is Michael Douglas, and
Speaker 4: the spoon is an archer. It's very fatal attraction.
Speaker 3: It is the fork has that hair that's the short
Speaker 3: kind of it's sexy, dangerous.
Speaker 4: She's wicked and she's sexy and you just can't get
Speaker 4: enough of her. And then the spoon is curvy and
Speaker 4: and yes, and everyone saying how could you do that
Speaker 4: to the spoon? Are you are you nuts knife to
Speaker 4: do that to you look at that beautiful spoon. But
Speaker 4: the fact is that that fork is just so.
Speaker 3: It's a freak. Yes, she's an absolute ferry.
Speaker 4: She hasn't the way she's just like, oh were there
Speaker 4: times just gets into that meat.
Speaker 3: Now. I do believe there's a some sort of nursery
Speaker 3: rhyme or something about the fork running away with the spoon.
Speaker 4: Oh, now there are they. They were like set up
Speaker 4: and they were high school. Yeah, they're high school sweethearts. Yes,
Speaker 4: she's wearing like his letter sweater and like, yeah.
Speaker 3: I think I mean the math of that all adds
Speaker 3: up perfectly. That's absolutely knife man spoon the wife at home.
Speaker 3: Fork is gonna wreck everything.
Speaker 4: The fork is gonna wreck everything. But be careful because
Speaker 4: the dessert fork is right behind you, honey. So you
Speaker 4: take that knife away from that spoon. That dessert fork
Speaker 4: is right like is pulling up the rear, and she
Speaker 4: is kind of like she's gonna take that knife away next,
Speaker 4: you know what.
Speaker 3: Speaking of this, I always like in elementary middle school,
Speaker 3: I always looked at my thumb as David Swimmer. I
Speaker 3: always thought that looks like David Swimmer.
Speaker 4: That's so interesting.
Speaker 3: Kind of has that hair style.
Speaker 4: I feel like your thumb.
Speaker 3: My thumb and my big toe. I feel like it's
Speaker 3: just like especially when it's cut, it has you know,
Speaker 3: he would like push his hair up in the front.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's so interesting because every.
Speaker 3: Male member of Friends had the same hairstyle and then
Speaker 3: they looked like a thumb. Yeah, or maybe every finger. Actually,
Speaker 3: now that I think about it.
Speaker 4: Well, I can see it's too bad we don't have
Speaker 4: six fingers on a hand, because then you could do
Speaker 4: the whole cast. But well, I guess some people anyway with.
Speaker 3: Two characters that are probably similar enough that you could
Speaker 3: label one finger them.
Speaker 4: I can see a thumb as David Schwimmer. I think
Speaker 4: of all the three guys on Friends, he's the thumb
Speaker 4: is the most David Swimmery.
Speaker 3: Right, And then I feel like the ring finger is
Speaker 3: probably Jennifer Aiston. Pinky as Courtney Cox. Middle is uh
Speaker 3: Lisa Kutro. I think she's probably maybe the tallest member
Speaker 3: of the cast.
Speaker 4: I think she probably is. God, she's so great that
Speaker 4: come back with so.
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, what a phenomenal program.
Speaker 4: It's just and and the fact that the two seas,
Speaker 4: since we're like a decade apart, and.
Speaker 3: It's still good. It's so it is so good.
Speaker 4: It is so good.
Speaker 3: I mean easily top five television shows for me. Enna
Speaker 3: should be for everyone, anyone with any sense at all.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can watch that over and over
Speaker 3: and over. Is she in anything currently? We've got to
Speaker 3: get her back on TV.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got to get her back on TV or
Speaker 4: on stage or something just.
Speaker 3: Makes me cackle. Yeah, I think it's time to play
Speaker 3: a game. Oh my towel, Yeah, that'll obviously be hanging
Speaker 3: somewhere in my house. And you know what, I have
Speaker 3: a tip that I learned recently. I recently switched to
Speaker 3: all white towels and all white sheets. I mean, because
Speaker 3: this is what hotels do. You can bleach them. They
Speaker 3: never get dirty.
Speaker 4: That is absolutely true.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why this is probably what ninety five years old,
Speaker 3: and it looks like it was amazing.
Speaker 4: And listen anytime I want, anytime you go to the
Speaker 4: airport to think of this showel because it was once
Speaker 4: used by Tom Bradley, former mayor.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm already thinking about him. But the towel,
Speaker 3: I mean, it's I mean, my mind's going all over
Speaker 3: the place.
Speaker 4: You know, It is interesting. I have heard I cannot
Speaker 4: verify this, but I have heard that after the nineteen
Speaker 4: sixty nine oscars, and I really cannot verify this, and
Speaker 4: I analyst may be able to verify it that this
Speaker 4: towel was used by both Barbara Streisan and Katherine Hepburn,
Speaker 4: who tied for the oscar that year for Funny Girl
Speaker 4: in the line in.
Speaker 3: Winter, Analise is nodding their head aggressively. This is probably
Speaker 3: the one fact on this podcast. Yeah, so it's a
Speaker 3: good that. I mean, you know, bring one fact late
Speaker 3: in the game.
Speaker 4: I think what happened was somebody had hosted Gregory Pack
Speaker 4: had a party and this hand and they both showed
Speaker 4: up with their oscars and they both had to you know.
Speaker 3: We're both dripped in mud. They needed a shower, yes,
Speaker 3: And then there was this one towel, right.
Speaker 4: And Shirley Temple Black had brought her own towel. She
Speaker 4: was Shirley Temple Black at that point, which, by the way,
Speaker 4: I love Aley Temple but I want to drink the
Speaker 4: adult version of Shirley Temple Black.
Speaker 3: That is genius. How is that not a thing already?
Speaker 4: Well? I think it's because if you were to put
Speaker 4: koalua with ginger ale and grenadine. It would make you
Speaker 4: throw up and then you need the towel for something else.
Speaker 4: But like, but there's got to be a way to
Speaker 4: do a Shirley Temple black. And you could do it
Speaker 4: if you do grenadine with a coke that's already a
Speaker 4: Roy Rogers. Talk about gender. When I was a kid,
Speaker 4: I always wanted to order a Shirley Temple and I thought,
Speaker 4: but I'm supposed to order a Roy Rogers. And I
Speaker 4: was like, but I don't want coke with grenadine. I
Speaker 4: want ginger al with grenadine.
Speaker 3: I feel like a Shirley Temple black. There certainly is
Speaker 3: a black cherry soda. Yes, that's I mean, it's the
Speaker 3: it's very simple.
Speaker 4: Black cherry soda with grenadine, which is a little bit
Speaker 4: is that joke on choke or something because you're adding
Speaker 4: like more cherry.
Speaker 3: To it, right, But you're kind of asking for it
Speaker 3: when you ask for Shirley Temple black.
Speaker 4: A Shirley Temple Black, Yeah, I love.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's the beginning of your bar. Yeah, I mean so.
Speaker 4: Many different Shirley Temples.
Speaker 3: Okay, we have to play a game. I need to
Speaker 3: number but two, one and ten from you eight. Okay,
Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating right now, so
Speaker 3: you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone.
Speaker 3: I'll be right back.
Speaker 4: Okay. I have a podcast. It's called Obituaries. It's just
Speaker 4: obituaries with an M in front, and it's I talk
Speaker 4: about the people and things that have died that I
Speaker 4: think are worth another look. And I don't want to
Speaker 4: be too pushy about it, so I'm just gonna just
Speaker 4: sort of leave it there if you want to listen
Speaker 4: to it, but you don't have to. Seriously, you don't
Speaker 4: have to.
Speaker 3: Perfect if I go listen to most podcasts, it's a
Speaker 3: wonderful idea. We're playing a game called gift Master. This
Speaker 3: is how we play. I'm going to tell you three gifts,
Speaker 3: the three things you can give away, and then three celebrities.
Speaker 3: You're gonna tell me which celebrity you would give which
Speaker 3: gift and why that makes perfect sense?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3: Okay. The three gifts you'll be giving today are number
Speaker 3: one a serial dispenser, Number two a stylish handbag, and
Speaker 3: number three a nonprofit under investigation. So you'll be giving
Speaker 3: them to Adam Brody, Raven Simone and Errol Morris. How
Speaker 3: do you feel about that?
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, I think the obvious, the nonprofit under investigation,
Speaker 4: I think you probably would give to Errol Morris. I
Speaker 4: think it just makes sense because I know that he'll
Speaker 4: be able. He'll do a terrific, compelling hour and a
Speaker 4: half long interview, just single shot of someone probably explaining
Speaker 4: why the nonprofit that they're running is under investigation. Yes,
Speaker 4: so I think you could get the person responsible. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 4: and it will look really great.
Speaker 3: It'll look amazing. It'll look amazing, and I think has
Speaker 3: never been more fascinating.
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly, Yes, No, yeah, and I'll think I'm just
Speaker 4: looking at this one person's face for an hour and
Speaker 4: a half.
Speaker 3: But this is really well done, and we needed these
Speaker 3: answers anyway.
Speaker 4: We need these answers anyway. So the cerial dispenser and
Speaker 4: the stylish handbag I've got. Adam Brody. Now, was he
Speaker 4: the one in the OC or the one in The Pianist?
Speaker 3: He says, Oh, interesting, I wish he was in The Pianist.
Speaker 3: He was in the OC.
Speaker 4: He's in the OC.
Speaker 3: He played you know, the the teen protagonist of the OC.
Speaker 4: You know, he was the guy that is not aggressively
Speaker 4: good looking. He's like normal good.
Speaker 3: Looking, right, kind of a record store good looking.
Speaker 4: Well, because I remember I once did it a gig
Speaker 4: which was for Axe body Spray. It was a body
Speaker 4: spray deodorant, and they kept saying, I swear to you
Speaker 4: our prototype of the and the person they used as
Speaker 4: a model I swear to you was Adam Brody because
Speaker 4: they didn't want to use a guy in commercials that
Speaker 4: was so perfect looking, right that it would make you
Speaker 4: feel alienated as a potential consumer. They wanted somebody who
Speaker 4: was like kind of tussoled and cute, but more in
Speaker 4: the normal realm, right, as opposed to the la kind
Speaker 4: of freak category of what lab were you created in?
Speaker 4: And I feel like the cereal dispenser is the right
Speaker 4: thing to give him because that would fit. I could
Speaker 4: see him spraying on some acts and having a bowl
Speaker 4: of cereal. I don't know what. Probably he's surrounding the
Speaker 4: acts before he has a cereal and then goes off
Speaker 4: to school. I want to keep Adam Brody as a
Speaker 4: teenager because that's how we remember him. But is he
Speaker 4: like fifty now?
Speaker 3: He just celebrated his seventy fifth. He just had birthday
Speaker 3: ad him. Yes, No, he's hanging in there. He's ready
Speaker 3: for his fourth chapter.
Speaker 4: He's ready for his fourth chapter.
Speaker 3: I can really, for whatever reason, I can really easily
Speaker 3: picture him eating cereal, like the mouthful of cereal standing.
Speaker 3: Maybe he did that in the OC or something, but
Speaker 3: I have a distinct visual image of Adam Brody eating cereal,
Speaker 3: and I.
Speaker 4: Bet he could do it without being gross. I have
Speaker 4: a colleague's TBS Sunday Morning where I work who says
Speaker 4: she doesn't like in interviews for the activity to be eating.
Speaker 4: She just thinks it's gross to watch people eat on camera.
Speaker 4: As an interviewer, I don't mind it because the person
Speaker 4: is oftentimes is more easily disarmed because it's not you're
Speaker 4: just not you know, it's there, there's an activity going on, right,
Speaker 4: But I feel like Adam Brody could eat cereal in
Speaker 4: a way that's he could do it in a charming way, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he has the look the figure of someone who
Speaker 3: has always got a bowl of cereal fun cereal in
Speaker 3: his hands.
Speaker 4: Right, not too crunchy, because I don't think he has
Speaker 4: his original teeth.
Speaker 3: He has a total of four fake teeth.
Speaker 4: Yeah at that point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's just try and trying his best.
Speaker 4: But you know the Academy will be so happy to
Speaker 4: welcome him.
Speaker 3: Back for it that lifetime achievement, right.
Speaker 4: Well maybe the Irving Thalberg if he's I hope he's
Speaker 4: been actually doing something with all these years in retirement
Speaker 4: for other people and not just you know, playing golf.
Speaker 4: And I I'm going to give the handback to Raven
Speaker 4: Simone for a very very personal reason. So I did
Speaker 4: something called the twenty four hour Musicals, which is right,
Speaker 4: and they may do it, and they may do it
Speaker 4: in la now. In fact, I think they do where
Speaker 4: this was in New York and I've found it a
Speaker 4: few times, but this time was many years ago and
Speaker 4: it was me And basically, you have twenty four hours
Speaker 4: to put together a short musical. And our musical I
Speaker 4: was randomly placed with Raven Simone, the great KT Huffman,
Speaker 4: who won a Tony for the producers. I'm sorry that
Speaker 4: I can't remember who the fourth person was. And our
Speaker 4: director was Kathleen Turner. Oh wow, yeah, she's great. And
Speaker 4: it was really crazy because I just come from a party.
Speaker 4: I swear to you, one of the most insane parties
Speaker 4: I'd ever been to, and I'm not like a party
Speaker 4: go were really but I was invited to a Super
Speaker 4: Bowl viewing party and I ended up sitting next to
Speaker 4: Deborah Winger, and then Glenn Close was across from us.
Speaker 4: And then later that night I suddenly was me eating
Speaker 4: with Kathleen Turner. I thought, this is like my day
Speaker 4: of nineteen eighties iconic actresses who never won an Oscar,
Speaker 4: who all were of multiple nominees, but they and they
Speaker 4: all are deserving other oscar as at one point, yeah,
Speaker 4: but anyway, but so it was me, Katiehuffman, Raven Simone,
Speaker 4: and another very talented person whose name I can't remember,
Speaker 4: and Kathleen Turner was directing us, and we had twenty
Speaker 4: four hours to picture together this short musical. But for
Speaker 4: the first half of the day, Kathleen Turner would say
Speaker 4: my darling Raven, my darling Raven. And at some point
Speaker 4: in the middle of the day she just one points
Speaker 4: something switching. She went, my sweet Simon, my sweet Simon.
Speaker 4: So she went from my darling Raven to my sweet Simone.
Speaker 3: Do you think she started thinking mentally, Oh, I've said
Speaker 3: my darling Raven too many times.
Speaker 4: Well, I think that she suddenly got confused and she went, wait,
Speaker 4: is her first name Raven or her first name is Simone?
Speaker 4: And she just switched in like it's like the train
Speaker 4: jumped the tracks, and then she just stayed on that
Speaker 4: track that whole time, and Raven Simon never corrected her.
Speaker 4: But I also and I'm Raven Simone is so talented,
Speaker 4: but I felt like Raven Simon didn't like me because
Speaker 4: at one point, Raven Simone was bonding with Katy Huffman
Speaker 4: and this other actress who I can't remember who I
Speaker 4: really liked a lot, who looked like Tig Nataro, and
Speaker 4: I wonder if it was Tisha Witt. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: was that Alicia Whitt? Are you looking it up right now,
Speaker 4: Alicia Witt? It was Alicia Witt. I really liked her,
Speaker 4: but at one point, like I felt left out. The
Speaker 4: other three were first bonding off a line, and I
Speaker 4: suddenly started getting a complex And mind you, was only
Speaker 4: twenty four hours, but it felt like a lifetime, and
Speaker 4: they called twenty four hours, but for the actors it's
Speaker 4: really only twelve hours. It was a gom Yeah, anyway,
Speaker 4: we go to sleep, But twenty four hours from the
Speaker 4: assignment to the actual performance, and so Raven was bonding
Speaker 4: with Alisha Whitt and with Katie Huffman, and I wanted
Speaker 4: to sort of get in on the action. So I
Speaker 4: said to Raven Simone, Wow, you should do more theater.
Speaker 4: And she turned around to me and she said, I'm
Speaker 4: a TV girl, and I went, no, no, I think
Speaker 4: you should continue doing TV. And but I think you
Speaker 4: curdl suit the theater too, and I just I felt
Speaker 4: so deflated. And she turned back around and it was
Speaker 4: so big, a little talk, a little back, a little doctor.
Speaker 4: I'll be beeping there anyway. They were having their own thing.
Speaker 4: So this is all to say that I'm gonna give
Speaker 4: the most the nicest gift, the prized handbag, to Raven Simone,
Speaker 4: so that she'll like me, so that she will be
Speaker 4: my darling Raven and sweet Simone.
Speaker 3: One final desperate attempt for her friendship. Yes, yes, it's
Speaker 3: not to it's you know, it's never too late. It's
Speaker 3: never too late to send a stylish handbag to Raven Simone.
Speaker 3: She's probably sitting at home waiting for the knock at
Speaker 3: the door for that handbag.
Speaker 4: Yes, because all these years I thought I was not
Speaker 4: being passive aggressive. I wasn't going, you should probably stick
Speaker 4: with theater. I wasn't saying that I was going, you
Speaker 4: should do Theatre's a compliment because we've never seen her
Speaker 4: on stage, and I think she was really good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would never have been. She was probably in
Speaker 3: a tender area of her career.
Speaker 4: I think so. But I listen. I want to be
Speaker 4: really clear, she's listening right now. I want her on
Speaker 4: all platforms.
Speaker 3: Raven reach out. You gotta get on the podcast the line,
Speaker 3: but it's always open.
Speaker 4: It's always open. I'm three hours ahead, and so don't
Speaker 4: call like after nine pm soon.
Speaker 3: Wow, Well, I can't wait for you to rekindle this
Speaker 3: rocky relationship with Raven. Click her out to dinner. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they bring out the dessert. She sticks her fork in
Speaker 3: and then realizes it's a handbag. So sweet.
Speaker 4: I hope so, And I hope she doesn't go handbag.
Speaker 4: I've got pockets.
Speaker 3: Beautifully played, I mean so gorgeously played. I couldn't say
Speaker 3: more about it. And Raven again reach out. Okay, this
Speaker 3: is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I
Speaker 3: said no emails people write in to I said no
Speaker 3: gifts at gmail dot com. People have got so many
Speaker 3: questions they need answers. So I do my part. I
Speaker 3: answer the questions. I try, and I succeed every time.
Speaker 3: Would you help me? Of fourth mister Weineger and Guest.
Speaker 3: Christmas is coming and every year my mother and my
Speaker 3: siblings and I get into a tiff about a gift
Speaker 3: for my mom's boyfriend. This is a man my mom
Speaker 3: has been dating for nine years, but they have only
Speaker 3: lived together the last two. We don't love spending time
Speaker 3: with him. He's prone to complaining and doesn't seem to
Speaker 3: take a large interest in us. My siblings and I either.
Speaker 3: We all tolerate him, though, and feel like this should
Speaker 3: be enough. My mom thinks we need to buy a
Speaker 3: Christmas gift every year to show how much we like him,
Speaker 3: and we just don't want to do We need to Bridger,
Speaker 3: and if so, what should we get this man? The
Speaker 3: last time we got him a gift, he complained that
Speaker 3: it was the wrong one, even though we bought him
Speaker 3: what he asked for parentheses a level, So I guess
Speaker 3: they bought him a level. Thank you, Jenna. Okay, so, Jenna,
Speaker 3: Mom's boyfriend has been in the picture for a long time.
Speaker 3: The kids all hate him. Doesn't even seem like the
Speaker 3: mom likes him that much. And now they've tried one
Speaker 3: pathetic attempt to get him a gift, which is a
Speaker 3: level that feels like if you opened a box and
Speaker 3: found a level that would feel like a mistake. Something
Speaker 3: went wrong. So what do Jenna and the kids get? Uh?
Speaker 3: I don't know what his name is, Pete Pete, Yeah,
Speaker 3: stepped into their lives, and God, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I suddenly want to see pictures of him. No, I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm just imagining, like, why is some mother keeping him around?
Speaker 4: If he's so surly?
Speaker 3: Right, all of the kids are against im, and I
Speaker 3: assume there are probably ten to twelve children, A lot
Speaker 3: of kids. Yeah, And for if you've got twelve kids
Speaker 3: saying this guy's a jerk, you got to start thinking
Speaker 3: about things.
Speaker 4: What can they get him? He didn't like the level.
Speaker 4: I love a level. That's one of those those tools.
Speaker 4: As a kid, it's probably that was probably the one
Speaker 4: tool I loved in my father's tool chest because it's fontal.
Speaker 3: It's delightful, it's a toubble say it.
Speaker 4: Is a toy, it's fantastic.
Speaker 3: And when it's telling you level, it means you've you're.
Speaker 4: A success exactly.
Speaker 3: And he also said neon Green, which is so much fun.
Speaker 4: I love a level. I love a level.
Speaker 3: How had this man not just gone out and bought
Speaker 3: himself a level. A level is between ten and thirty dollars.
Speaker 3: That's certainly something Pete could have just bought.
Speaker 4: I wonder if they you know what, I think that
Speaker 4: probably they should have had the level engraved. I think
Speaker 4: if you're just handed a level without an inscription, it
Speaker 4: doesn't really mean anything. But I think they should have
Speaker 4: said on the level, we love you.
Speaker 3: Right and tears in his eyes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you look at it. It is sort
Speaker 4: of like if someone gives me a book, and I
Speaker 4: really do immediately go to the title pages. I want
Speaker 4: to see what they wrote. So somebody gave me. If
Speaker 4: my girlfriend's kids gave me a level without an inscription,
Speaker 4: I think the first thing I'd say is how did
Speaker 4: I end up with a girlfriend? And who were these
Speaker 4: people giving me.
Speaker 3: A very different path you've gone down.
Speaker 4: Yes, there's been a huge misunderstanding here. I'm so sorry
Speaker 4: if I misled anyone here.
Speaker 3: This is why the kids don't while you around, because
Speaker 3: you don't want to be with them, all.
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, But if I were in that situation, I
Speaker 4: would the level. I would want something written on it.
Speaker 4: I would want it.
Speaker 3: Engraved, right, And I mean, let's say you forget it
Speaker 3: at the gym, then the gym can call you MO.
Speaker 3: You left your level here?
Speaker 4: Oh wait, why would you bring a level to a.
Speaker 3: Taking your level everywhere?
Speaker 4: Oh I've got a half. Well, so it's probably a
Speaker 4: good idea because if you're doing a bench press and
Speaker 4: sure that always used to scare me. And trust me,
Speaker 4: there were not a lot of plates on the bar,
Speaker 4: but the idea of one sliding off and then the
Speaker 4: whole thing comes. Yeah. The only thing worse was I
Speaker 4: am having a memory. There was a place in New
Speaker 4: York in the twenties, not in the nineteen twenties, but
Speaker 4: in the streets in the twenties that was so cheap
Speaker 4: for personal trainers, something outrageous. It was must have been
Speaker 4: a scam going on. So I went as long as
Speaker 4: I could before the whole thing shut down. And I
Speaker 4: think that I'm pretty sure that the trainer they gave
Speaker 4: me was an x con and this guy I had
Speaker 4: the bench the bar bell, I was doing a bench press,
Speaker 4: and it was as it was going down, my arms
Speaker 4: started trembling, and there was that moment of fear of like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, not.
Speaker 3: My windpipe is about to be crushed exactly, You're.
Speaker 4: Not gonna be decapitated, but like it's gonna I'm gonna die.
Speaker 4: And I remember the guy from above. I can still
Speaker 4: remember his face. He was like a Samuel L. Jackson character.
Speaker 4: But he was like going calling me a pussy, like
Speaker 4: over and over again, helping anything. And I remember I
Speaker 4: kind of wanted to start laughing like he was. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's like this is because it was so outrageous that
Speaker 4: he was like you because you can't lift that, you
Speaker 4: are a pussy. And he just kept calling me a pussy,
Speaker 4: like and my arms, my arm's returning to spaghetti, you
Speaker 4: know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: They start wobbling or horrifying feeling.
Speaker 4: It's a horrifying feeling.
Speaker 3: Your body's about to give up on yes completely.
Speaker 4: And the last thing I'm gonna hear on this earth
Speaker 4: is this trainer with a single gold tooth calling me
Speaker 4: a pussy.
Speaker 3: Not a bad way to go, I mean, they are
Speaker 3: worse ways to die.
Speaker 4: But anyway, I'd say inscribe the level.
Speaker 3: Perfect, absolutely perfect. Just get him another level. You can
Speaker 3: always use two levels. Ones in the glove box, ones
Speaker 3: at home.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Ones in your carry on. Yeah, it's like phone chargers.
Speaker 4: Oh I think it's yes, absolutely, you're at home level.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should have level everywhere, handbag, what have you.
Speaker 3: That's a perfect gift. I mean, I don't see any
Speaker 3: problem with that. And I'm sure Pete will this is
Speaker 3: gonna mend things for the family. He's gonna probably end
Speaker 3: up adopting all twelve kids, and what a lovely ending
Speaker 3: to this group.
Speaker 4: I think it will be a Yes, I think it
Speaker 4: could be a successful blended family.
Speaker 3: But only if the level is engraved.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so. And look, I yes, I think
Speaker 4: it's just you just get a little plate that you
Speaker 4: screw on the top of the level, which of course
Speaker 4: will script.
Speaker 3: Now it doesn't work. It's simply not the tool it's
Speaker 3: supposed to be.
Speaker 4: We just have to find a place to put the
Speaker 4: name plate, the inscription so that the level actually can
Speaker 4: do its job. Then Pete is gonna go ape shit.
Speaker 3: Okay, well we answered that perfectly. I mean Jenna can't
Speaker 3: complain and if she does. She's gonna have to find
Speaker 3: a new podcast to listen to. I mean, there are
Speaker 3: at least four other ones out there.
Speaker 4: Oh exactly, sure, Raven Simone has one.
Speaker 3: Raven's probably starting a revenge podcast right now.
Speaker 4: That is when are we going to start hearing about
Speaker 4: revenge podcast?
Speaker 3: Maybe that's our next adventure. I would love to have
Speaker 3: a revenge podcast.
Speaker 4: There's so many podcasts. There has to be room for
Speaker 4: revenge podcast. Yes, and then I can do a morning
Speaker 4: show segment. They're the hottest new thing and they have
Speaker 4: people up in arms. Revenge podcasts.
Speaker 3: Viewtiful. Oh mo. I mean, I've got this towel that
Speaker 3: is just I mean, it's historic, it's an artifact and
Speaker 3: now it's in my home.
Speaker 4: It really is. And I just all I ask is
Speaker 4: that if anyone associated with the Beverly Wilshare is listening
Speaker 4: to this podcast.
Speaker 3: Well they're probably taking inventory right now and.
Speaker 4: The right right. Yeah. I wonder what the statute of
Speaker 4: limitations on this is. Could you maybe wait to release
Speaker 4: this podcast in three years.
Speaker 3: A decade from now, this is going to hit the
Speaker 3: airwaves and you'll be fine.
Speaker 4: You'll be fine. I'll be in the clear. I'll be
Speaker 4: in the clear.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you for this, thank you for coming.
Speaker 4: This was so much fun.
Speaker 3: And again, Raven reach out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Raven reach out. Can I take the bag back
Speaker 4: with me?
Speaker 3: You can absolutely take the bag and take whatever you want.
Speaker 4: Can I take the tissue?
Speaker 3: Do? Listener, the podcast is screeching to a halt. You
Speaker 3: didn't expect this, you aren't planning on it. Now you're
Speaker 3: freaking out. But that's not my problem. I love you, goodbye,
Speaker 3: I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. It's
Speaker 3: produced by our dear friend Analise Neilson, and it's beautifully
Speaker 3: mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without
Speaker 3: our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course,
Speaker 3: could only come from miracle worker Amy Man. You must
Speaker 3: follow the show on Instagram. At I said no gifts.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you
Speaker 3: get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting.
Speaker 3: And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?
Speaker 1: Lie? Did you hear thought? I made myself perfectly clear,
Speaker 1: But you're I guess to my home.
Speaker 2: You gotta come to me empty And.
Speaker 1: I said no guess your own presence is presents enough.
Speaker 1: I already had too much stuff, So how do you
Speaker 1: dare to surbey me?