1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: You hear me confession, I can't take back earl arms. 2 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 2: Mouse speak. 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 3: I got a text to seven eighty five nine two 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 3: that says I once booked a cruise with my girlfriend, 5 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 3: but she dumped me a week before, so I sole 6 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 3: her id and had my best friend by a wig 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 3: in address to go on the boat with me. Literally 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,240 Speaker 3: best trip ever. 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 4: Oh that does sound awesome. I hope you kept the 10 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 4: wig on the whole time. 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,519 Speaker 1: Yes, the romance was as good as I expected. 12 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 3: I was like, how much are they going to commit 13 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 3: to this series for this vacation. 14 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 4: They're getting in couples fights? 15 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, honey, No. 16 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 3: If you have some secret info you'd like the world 17 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 3: to know, you can spread the word right here on 18 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 3: the mass Speaker. And one of our listeners is ready 19 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 3: to take off his wig of lies and expose the truth. 20 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 3: He's chosen William as his fake name. William, Welcome to 21 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 3: the show. 22 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 5: He there. 23 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: Okay, will how are you doing? Or Bill? I mean 24 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: it's a fake name. I guess we could go with 25 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: anything that. 26 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, you it is not my real name. 27 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,839 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, voice changer is on. You're now the mass speaker. 28 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 3: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. 29 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 5: Okay, so I started dating a new woman several months back, 30 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 5: and she's really wonderful. We've got a great rapport. 31 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 4: I just, oh, that's nice, awesome bro. 32 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I'm really fallen. The only problem is she 33 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 5: was disappointed when she met my dog. 34 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: What do you mean what I had? 35 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 3: Not a very good looking dog. 36 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: How could you be disappointed by a dog? 37 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 5: Which because she's she is a beautiful dog, everyone wants 38 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 5: to get close to her, but they didn't bond right away. 39 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 2: I have a rescue who hates strangers, like just scared 40 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 2: of everyone, and people are so disappointed when they can't 41 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: pet her. She's so pettible looking. 42 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 4: I know. I remember the first time I met your dog. 43 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 4: I'm like, come here, to come here? She ran away. 44 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 4: It's excited, but she's not excited. 45 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: To like right right. 46 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 3: Did you explain to her what was going on? 47 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 5: Yeah? And it was kind of similar to what you 48 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 5: were just saying, Like it was just avoidance. 49 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 4: It wasn't growling or right, yeah, nothing like aggressive. 50 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,919 Speaker 5: Yeah. She'd come over and sit down on the couch 51 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 5: next her, and then Maggie would get up and go 52 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 5: to the other. 53 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 6: Side of the ultimate insult when you bring a cat 54 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 6: into bed with you and then it gets up immediately. 55 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,679 Speaker 4: But I just transported you over it. 56 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: Did Maggie give her side eye as well? 57 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 3: Just took it dump right there on the couch and left. 58 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 3: Maybe you can just explain to your girlfriend like, oh, 59 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: maybe she's shy. 60 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 5: Well I tried to, but she was pretty bent out 61 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,239 Speaker 5: of shape about it. Your girlfriend was, yeah, she took 62 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 5: it personally. Wow. 63 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: Sensitive. 64 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 4: I feel like I relate and I am very sensitive. 65 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 6: I would absolutely feel like, well, I don't know if 66 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,639 Speaker 6: we're going to work then, because you're not going to 67 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 6: get rid of the dog. 68 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 3: Maybe you did get rid of the dog if you 69 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 3: were falling so hard? 70 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:58,360 Speaker 1: WHOA. 71 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 5: Well, I I felt bad and I wanted to do something, 72 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 5: and so I did a bunch of research online and 73 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 5: I found these pheromones that attract pets. Really Yeah, it's 74 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 5: like a little liquid that you kind of sprinkle into 75 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 5: your hands. 76 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 4: Can I buy these for myself? 77 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 2: See? I was thinking it was like deer urine when 78 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: you go hunting, you want to ye if. 79 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 3: No one wants to hear about how you hydrate during 80 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 3: the hunt. I'm sorry about her, man, So what do 81 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 3: you do with the pheromones. 82 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 5: Well, I was worried that it was going to be 83 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 5: smelly like deer pye or something too, but actually humans 84 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 5: can't smell it. So I put some drops in my 85 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,560 Speaker 5: hands and when she would arrive, i'd hold her hand 86 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 5: or touch her arm, touch her neck and just. 87 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 3: Get it on there. 88 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 2: Held her hand from your apartment stores to the living room. 89 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, why is he always massaging my shoulders all the time? 90 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 4: She's let me get your ankles? 91 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 5: Now, Well, what happened, I'll tell you what It worked? 92 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: Wow? 93 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 5: Really Yeah, Maggie was all over her. And of course 94 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 5: my girlfriend's happy. She's like just thrilled about this change. 95 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 4: Because she's like, oh, she must have had a bad 96 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 4: week or something. 97 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 3: Not just Maggie. All the dogs in the buildings suddenly 98 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 3: love your girlfriend. 99 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 4: She's like the piper. He's like putting hot dogs in 100 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:29,480 Speaker 4: her pockets. 101 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 2: Oh, you can't ever tell her, no, wonder you have 102 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 2: to keep it a secret. 103 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: She'd be so disappointed. 104 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 4: But honestly, there's an issue. 105 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 6: What if it wears off her she gets out of 106 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 6: the shower and then Maggie doesn't like her anymore. 107 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 5: I do have to keep on top of application, and 108 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 5: I can't take it too far because she'll get a 109 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 5: little too excited, if you know what I. 110 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 4: Mean, over stimulated. 111 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 2: Feel you on those hormones, Maggie. 112 00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 3: Maggie, I called her. 113 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 2: She's you still have to use it every time your 114 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 2: girlfriend comes over. 115 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 5: I try not to because I don't want it to 116 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 5: become This is going to sound weird, but like an addiction. 117 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 5: Sometimes I use it and sometimes I don't. And my 118 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 5: dog is getting really confused because I don't think she's 119 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 5: understanding why she's reacting the way she is. 120 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, sometimes she loves it, and other times she doesn't. 121 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 2: Smell it, or it's like why am I in this 122 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 2: back and forth relationship? 123 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: Well, I hope it works out. I hope Maggie just 124 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: starts liking your girlfriend. 125 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's getting better. But the other day, 126 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 5: we went on a hike and I applied a little 127 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 5: extra because I knew we were going to be outside, 128 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 5: and we started getting followed by not dogs, but squirrels. 129 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 3: Well, army of squirrels gathered around. 130 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 4: You, lots of m oh no, man, she feels like 131 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 4: snow white at this. 132 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: The dog love that, though, Yeah, what did you do? 133 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 5: Everyone was freaking out. 134 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: We had to leave. 135 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 2: Oh my god, you were worried that you were going 136 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 2: to get attacked by the mob of class. 137 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 5: I pretended to roll my ankle so that we could 138 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 5: just get off the trail and go home because they 139 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 5: kept getting closer. 140 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 4: Oh man, well you have to find that medium balance. 141 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 5: My guy, be careful with the stuff. 142 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 3: Text into seven eighty five nine too. If you have 143 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 3: a confession you've been holding on to, we can hide 144 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 3: your identity, mask your voice, and make you the next 145 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 3: mass speaker. Phone tabs coming up next.