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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: We could be reading.

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Speaker 1: Your letter live on the air, just like we're going

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Speaker 1: to read this week right here, right now. That's for you, Jay,

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Speaker 1: it could be your letter.

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Speaker 2: You never know, right bu go up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter, thanking.

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Speaker 1: If you subject why won't he leave his wife? Why

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Speaker 1: won't his wife leave him? What was I thinking the

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Speaker 1: same thing though? Right here's Stephen Shirley. I'm forty four

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Speaker 1: years old. I know it is huh, I'm still in

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Speaker 1: vacation mode. Here Stephen Shirley, I'm forty four years old,

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Speaker 1: divorced and single for ten years. My husband divorced me

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Speaker 1: because I cheated on him and the man I cheated

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Speaker 1: with was married and he's still married. We met at

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Speaker 1: work and the rest is history. We are still in

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Speaker 1: a relationship and it's been ten years now. Our sex

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Speaker 1: life is great, but our relationship has a few challenges.

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Speaker 1: We have a six year old son and he has

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Speaker 1: two children with his wife. His wife is known about

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Speaker 1: us from the beginning due to my husband sending her

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Speaker 1: explicit text messages, hotelally seats, and pictures of us together.

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Speaker 1: She knew about my pregnancy and is aware that her

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Speaker 1: husband spend times with our son, but she will not

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Speaker 1: leave him. He said he's staying because of the kids

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Speaker 1: and she will drag him through the mud if he leaves.

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Speaker 1: I really truly love this man. He met my parents,

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Speaker 1: my siblings, and all of my friends. Everyone knows he's married,

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Speaker 1: but no one makes a big deal out of it.

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Speaker 1: I had to threaten him with child support to make

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Speaker 1: him step up financially to provide for me and my son.

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Speaker 1: He has put our son on his insurance at work

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Speaker 1: as his third child. Nothing I ever do to this

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Speaker 1: man has made him angry enough to cut ties with me.

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Speaker 1: So I really feel that he loves me. I do

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Speaker 1: want more and have expressed that to him, but he

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Speaker 1: says he has too many obligations at home. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I have a boyfriend and everything is fine until

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Speaker 1: reality sets in and he leaves me to go to

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Speaker 1: his wife and other life. I'm sure his wife knows

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Speaker 1: where I live, but I don't understand why she's never

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Speaker 1: acted out over what I've done. He and I will

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Speaker 1: be connected forever because of our son, but I want

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Speaker 1: him all to myself. I'm getting too old for the

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Speaker 1: back and forth, and he is too. Do I give

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Speaker 1: him an ultimatum? Or would that be selfish of me?

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Speaker 1: Would that be selfish of you? What? I think everything

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Speaker 1: that you're doing is selfish because all you're thinking about

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Speaker 1: is getting this woman's husband for yourself. You are selfish

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Speaker 1: when you cheated on your husband in the first place.

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Speaker 1: And I don't see how you don't see any of

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Speaker 1: this as selfish because it's all selfishness. I mean, now

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Speaker 1: you want him to leave and be with you, that's selfish, okay,

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Speaker 1: And he obviously doesn't want to leave his wife's He

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Speaker 1: obviously doesn't. He's giving you every excuse not to, and

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Speaker 1: more importantly, he doesn't have to at this point. He

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Speaker 1: gets anything he wants from you with the arrangement you

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Speaker 1: already have, and everyone is going along with it. You said,

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Speaker 1: he's met your family, he's met your friends, and they're cool,

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Speaker 1: No big deal. His wife is known about your affairs

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Speaker 1: since the beginning. She still his wife, and no matter

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Speaker 1: what you do to him. You say he won't leave

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Speaker 1: you. You two started this, you made a child, and now

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Speaker 1: you have a problem with it the way it is now, Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, too bad, because this is a mess, and

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Speaker 1: this is what messes look like. I mean, trust me, wife,

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Speaker 1: he isn't going anywhere. It's called revenge. Ok is called

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Speaker 1: a woman scorned, It's called spite. You think she doesn't

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Speaker 1: know you want her to leave. She probably can't stand

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Speaker 1: her cheating husband. You know, didn't you say he sent

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Speaker 1: her explicit pictures, hotel receipts of you guys together. But

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Speaker 1: she's still not leaving him. That should tell you something

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Speaker 1: right there. So this is what it is and what

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Speaker 1: is going to be. Okay, you need to stop wishing,

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Speaker 1: stop waiting, stop hoping for him to leave her. It's

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Speaker 1: not happening. She's not going to leave him either. The

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Speaker 1: wokest moment you had and this whole entire letter was

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Speaker 1: at the end when you said you're getting too old

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Speaker 1: for this back and forth, and so is he. And

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Speaker 1: you're right, you're forty four. I say, girl, get your

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Speaker 1: child support like you're doing. Please don't waste any more

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Speaker 1: time on him, though. You need to get your self

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Speaker 1: respect back. You need to close this chapter of your life.

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Speaker 1: You need to walk away. Stop answering his calls. This

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Speaker 1: is not love, It is not even close. Of course,

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Speaker 1: he needs to pay for it, continue to pay for

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Speaker 1: the child and take care of his kid. But other

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Speaker 1: than that, you need to move on with your life.

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Speaker 2: Steve.

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Speaker 3: To me, this whole letter ain't got nothing to do

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Speaker 3: with to do. The whole thing to me is the

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Speaker 3: woman who wrote the letter and what she's settling for

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Speaker 3: and what she's accepted, and she keeps trying to make

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Speaker 3: a wrong or right and it can't work this way. Woman,

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Speaker 3: What is wrong with you? Your moral compass is so

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Speaker 3: far off. You keep trying to get something out of

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Speaker 3: this that don't belong to you. You have nothing here.

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Speaker 3: You forty four year old, divorce and single for ten years.

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Speaker 3: Your husband divorced me. My husband divorced me because I

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Speaker 3: cheated on him. And the man I cheated with was

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Speaker 3: married and he's still married. Okay, and you're still cheating.

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Speaker 3: Do you understand You've never corrected any of your mistakes,

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Speaker 3: but you want stuff to right itself for you, but

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Speaker 3: you've taken no ownership. Look, everybody make mistakes, so I

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Speaker 3: ain't gonna beat you about the mistakes, but damn, you're

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Speaker 3: supposed to grow from your mistakes, learn from them, ask

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Speaker 3: for forgiveness.

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Speaker 2: And move on. You've done none of that. You just

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Speaker 2: keep repeating.

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Speaker 3: The same thing over and over, expecting a different results.

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Speaker 3: Don't they say that's the definition of insanity?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely?

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Speaker 2: See Ain't that what they say?

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Speaker 3: So when we come back, we'll finished talking to your

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Speaker 3: crazy ass.

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Speaker 1: All right, We'll have part two of Steve's response coming

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Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject why

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Speaker 1: won't his wife leave him? We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letters, subject why

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Speaker 1: won't his wife leave him?

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Speaker 2: Why won't his wife leave him?

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Speaker 3: What? Forty four years old? Divorced, single for ten years?

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Speaker 3: Your husband divorced me because my husband divorced me because

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Speaker 3: I cheated on him. And the man that I cheated

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Speaker 3: on him was married and he's still married.

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Speaker 2: We met at work and the rest of his history.

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Speaker 3: We are still in a relationship, so you're still cheating.

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Speaker 2: And it's been ten years now.

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Speaker 3: Our sex life is great, but our relationship has a

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Speaker 3: few challenges.

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Speaker 2: Oh you mean the fact that he's married, that's the challenge. Okay.

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Speaker 3: We have a six year old son and he has

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Speaker 3: two children with his wife. Oh you mean his family. Okay.

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Speaker 3: His wife has known about us from the beginning due

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Speaker 3: to due to my husband sending her explicit text messages, hotels, receipts,

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Speaker 3: and receipts of us together your husband. See I didn't

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Speaker 3: catch that at first. Your former husband sent all this

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Speaker 3: information to your wife when he found out you was

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Speaker 3: cheating on him with her husband. He said her all

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Speaker 3: the messages, the receipts and all this stuff. She knew

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Speaker 3: about my pregnancy and as a wad that her husband

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Speaker 3: spends time with our son, but she's not. But she

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Speaker 3: will not leave him now. Surely said it best. And

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Speaker 3: I hadn't thought of this.

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Speaker 2: This is revenge.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, no, I'm in this mess.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna make you wallow in it with me. So

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know that, but women are capable of it.

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Speaker 3: I'm leaving, I'm bouncing. We're gonna do revenge somewhere else.

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Speaker 3: We're not finish sit up in here. But Surely made

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Speaker 3: a valid point. He said he's staying because of the kids,

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Speaker 3: and she would drag him through the mud if he leaves.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, let me explain something to you. He

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Speaker 3: already in the mud. It can't get any money her.

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Speaker 3: Now she'll tell his job and all this. Heal but

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Speaker 3: now she gonna drag him through the mud. She giving

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Speaker 3: this bad hell. I want you to understand him. I

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Speaker 3: really truly love this man. He's met my parents, my siblings,

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Speaker 3: all my friends. Everyone knows he's married, but no one

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Speaker 3: makes a big deal out of it.

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Speaker 2: You know why they don't make a big deal out

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Speaker 2: of it cause you don't don't see. You cool with

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Speaker 2: stupid and they cool with you.

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Speaker 3: So if you cool and stuck on stupid, then we

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Speaker 3: cool being stuck on stupid.

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Speaker 2: For you whatever, that ain't what you like. Everybody, they

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Speaker 2: don't make no big deal out of it.

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Speaker 3: Lady, I had to threaten him with child support to

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Speaker 3: make him step up financially provide for me and my son.

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Speaker 3: He has put our son on his insurance and work

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Speaker 3: as his third child.

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Speaker 2: Nothing now he'll depart.

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Speaker 3: Nothing I ever do to this man has made him

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Speaker 3: angry enough to cut ties with me. So I really

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Speaker 3: feel he loves me, So I know what you did.

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Speaker 3: I tell you that in a second. Now he does

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Speaker 3: love you. You can be in love with two people,

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Speaker 3: but he ain't leaving his wife. Thought, I do want more,

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Speaker 3: and I have expressed that to him, so.

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Speaker 2: And what he do about it?

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Speaker 3: Not? So I do want more. To expressed that to

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Speaker 3: him again, so you through express it. Yeah, I'm finna

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Speaker 3: go home, but he says he has too many obligations

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Speaker 3: at home.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a wife and two children.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I have a boyfriend and everything is

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Speaker 3: fine until the reality sets in and he leaves me

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Speaker 3: to go to his wife and his other life. I'm

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Speaker 3: sure his wife knows why I live, but I don't

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Speaker 3: understand why she's never acted out over what I've done.

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Speaker 3: Let's go back to this, to this line right here.

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Speaker 3: Nothing I ever do to this man has made him

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Speaker 3: angry enough to cut tithes with me. So I really

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Speaker 3: feel like he loves me. I'm sure his wife knows

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Speaker 3: why I live, but I don't stand why she's never

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Speaker 3: acted out over what I've done. Because you've tried to

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Speaker 3: ruin them and now she ain't gonna let you again.

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Speaker 3: Going back to what Shirley said, this is revenge. Oh,

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Speaker 3: so you're gonna ruin me. You ain't fitna have him.

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Speaker 3: I just hold on to this raggedy messfor I give

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Speaker 3: you anything, so now you can't win. He and I

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Speaker 3: will be connected forever because of my son, But I

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Speaker 3: want him all to myself.

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Speaker 2: Wait a minute.

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Speaker 3: He has a wife and a family, and you cheated

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Speaker 3: on your family with this man. And you're still cheating

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Speaker 3: with the man, this man and his family, and you

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Speaker 3: want him all to yourself.

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Speaker 2: How do you keep thinking something.

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Speaker 3: Right is been to come out of all this wrong

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Speaker 3: you've been doing for all these years. I'm getting too

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Speaker 3: old for this back and forth, and he is too.

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Speaker 3: He ain't too old for this. Do I give him

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Speaker 3: an ultimatium? Or would that be selfish of me? Hold on,

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Speaker 3: let me ask you something. What ultimatum? Talking about what

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Speaker 3: you're finished threatening with? Oh? Oh, let me see what

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Speaker 3: what you're gonna do. Oh you're gonna tell his wife

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Speaker 3: about y'all. Oh, you're gonna call down on the job

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Speaker 3: and tell him he got a baby out of wear,

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Speaker 3: like you talking about the baby that he put.

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Speaker 2: On his insurance?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 2: What? What? What ultimatum? Threatned you have? Well? You ain't

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Speaker 2: got nothing. What that?

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Speaker 1: What if she says I'm gonna leave you?

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Speaker 2: She ain't going nowhere.

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Speaker 1: She's not, She's really not.

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Speaker 2: She just set herself up to state she going where

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Speaker 2: with who? Man? This man?

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Speaker 3: No, she ain't going nowhere. You have no ultimatum. The

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Speaker 3: best thing. And let me tell you something else, lady,

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Speaker 3: you will never have a man of your own ever.

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Speaker 3: Not doing this, you have doomed yourself to a lonely life. Sister,

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Speaker 3: unless you change your ways. You gotta just realize there's

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Speaker 3: a mistake and ask for forgiveness and get up and

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Speaker 3: try again.

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Speaker 2: That's the only thing I got for all right.

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Speaker 1: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: Steve.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on demand. You're listening to Harvey Morning Show.