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Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome to a new episode of You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat, I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: and you are listening to couch Talks. If you are

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Speaker 1: unfamiliar with what couch Talks is, it is the special

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Speaker 1: bonus episode of You Need Therapy where I answer questions

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Speaker 1: that you guys send to me and you can send

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Speaker 1: those to Katherine at therapy podcast dot com. Now, if

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Speaker 1: you want to send a message in or a question

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Speaker 1: and you're feeling a little nervous because maybe it's personal

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Speaker 1: and maybe you have friends that listen to the podcast

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Speaker 1: or something like that, I want you guys to know

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Speaker 1: that I always keep them anonymous, so you can send

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Speaker 1: them in knowing that I'll never read your email address.

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Speaker 1: I'll never read your name where you're from. The only

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Speaker 1: thing I'll read is the information you put in the

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Speaker 1: email where you ask your question. Also, a quick reminder

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Speaker 1: before we get into today's question that this podcast does

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Speaker 1: not serve as a replacement or substitute for any actual

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Speaker 1: mental health services. However, we always hope that it can

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Speaker 1: help you guys wherever you are on whatever journey you

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Speaker 1: are on. And the last thing I'll say is we

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Speaker 1: usually do one question a week, so try to keep

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Speaker 1: it short for a fun little extra during the week

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Speaker 1: outside of the normal Monday episodes. And today we're going

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Speaker 1: to do just that. We're going to answer one question

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Speaker 1: and I'm excited about it because it is not so

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Speaker 1: much different but a fun one for me to answer.

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Speaker 1: So let's get into it. Here's the question. Hey, kat,

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Speaker 1: I am currently a junior in college majoring in psychology.

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Speaker 1: I am now contemplating what I want to do after

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Speaker 1: I graduate. I have thought about going to grad school

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Speaker 1: for counseling, but I'm not sure if I would actually

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Speaker 1: like being a therapist other than my own therapist. I

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Speaker 1: don't actually know anyone personally who is a therapist, So

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Speaker 1: I was wondering if you could maybe talk about the

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Speaker 1: best and worst parts of your job, or maybe you

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Speaker 1: could share what you wish you would have known and

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Speaker 1: you are making the decision to go to school yourself.

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Speaker 1: I really like this question because this is one that

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Speaker 1: I can really answer versus a lot of the questions

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Speaker 1: you guys send in. I can obviously answer them, but

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Speaker 1: I can't give you direct and as concrete answers as

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of you really want. Because that's

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Speaker 1: just the nature of you know, mental health and being

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Speaker 1: a therapist, the gray area. So the first thing I

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Speaker 1: thought when I read this is this is such an

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Speaker 1: exciting time for you. And I know that might feel

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Speaker 1: annoying to hear or frustrating or you know, iye roll

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Speaker 1: because it might feel overwhelming to you because of all

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Speaker 1: the options, like you could do anything, not anything, but

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Speaker 1: you could do a lot of things. And I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I always think about how wild it is that we

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Speaker 1: are expected to make this big of a decision at

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Speaker 1: such a young age, and we essentially send the message

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Speaker 1: to ourselves and to each other that once you make

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Speaker 1: this decision, it's set in stone. And if you do

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Speaker 1: this thing, you have to finish it, and you have

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Speaker 1: to do that for the rest of your life. And

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Speaker 1: that's scared. I think one thing that helped me as

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Speaker 1: I went into what I was going to do after

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Speaker 1: I graduated undergrad is I knew that I could change

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Speaker 1: my mind eventually if I wanted to do something differently.

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Speaker 1: I allowed that space to be open. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: how I was going to do that, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: put pressure to find a career that I would stay

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Speaker 1: in until I was eighty five years old, and maybe

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Speaker 1: that was delusional, but it was really helpful to me

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Speaker 1: back then. Now I'm going to tell you the best

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Speaker 1: and worst parts of my job from my own perspective.

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Speaker 1: I don't think this is universal for therapists one because

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Speaker 1: there are so many different things, and there's so many

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Speaker 1: different settings you can work in as a therapist. And

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Speaker 1: also it depends on our personalities, like what parts of

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Speaker 1: the job we like and what parts we don't. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just giving that caveat because this is what feels

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Speaker 1: true to me, but you might experience that differently if

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Speaker 1: you were doing what I did. And I also want

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Speaker 1: to add along with me thinking that I could change

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Speaker 1: my mind in my career direction. I still to this

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Speaker 1: day don't know that I will want to do what

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Speaker 1: I do in the same capacity forever. I might, and

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Speaker 1: I also can see myself wanting to do something different

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Speaker 1: in the future, and that really is one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite parts of what I do, as much as it

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Speaker 1: might seem sometimes to maybe myself, but I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of times the outside world that there's like one

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Speaker 1: avenue for a therapist. I really do believe this job,

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Speaker 1: in the training involved creates an opportunity to do a

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Speaker 1: multitude of things, and I could talk about that all day,

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Speaker 1: but for time's sake, let's do three of my favorite

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Speaker 1: and three of my least favorite things, and then, like

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Speaker 1: a little snippet of advice I might have shared with

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Speaker 1: my younger self, and I'm gonna start with the least

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Speaker 1: favorite things, just because let's get the not fun stuff

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Speaker 1: out of the way. You know, I think one of

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Speaker 1: my least favorite things about my job is I don't

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Speaker 1: enjoy running business personally. It's very overwhelming, and I wish

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Speaker 1: that there was a course you could take in grad

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Speaker 1: school or something that really prepared you for this. I

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Speaker 1: try my best to follow all the rules and regulations

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Speaker 1: to a t and do all the things in the

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Speaker 1: right order, but being a therapist is very different than

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Speaker 1: running a business, and I'm constantly paranoid that I'm going to,

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Speaker 1: you know, go to jail, or be sued for some

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Speaker 1: paperwork mistake that I made, or some tax thing or

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Speaker 1: some lib you know, There's so many things that need

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Speaker 1: to be done, and I think personally, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: just like figure out on my own when I started

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Speaker 1: private practice, and I think it would have been really

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Speaker 1: helpful to hire some kind of consultant to help with

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Speaker 1: all of those things that you just don't think about.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't know that once you've created an LLC,

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Speaker 1: you had to you know, follow report every year else

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Speaker 1: they would either find you or dissolve your LLC. Like,

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Speaker 1: there's just a lot of things that how would I

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Speaker 1: know that If I didn't learn that it's not just

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Speaker 1: information you're born with. It might seem common sense to people,

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Speaker 1: but it did not seem like common sense to me.

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Speaker 1: So all of that to say, the business aspect is

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Speaker 1: not my favorite. I don't like being a business person.

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Speaker 1: I don't like doing the day to day tasks. They

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Speaker 1: have to be done, and I do them, but I

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Speaker 1: really like having a boss. I liked having a boss.

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Speaker 1: I like having somebody else to go to for direction

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Speaker 1: and for answers. I like having somebody that I can

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Speaker 1: go and ask this question too. And that was a

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Speaker 1: real benefit of working in a treatment for an organization

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Speaker 1: is they had people for all of those things that

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Speaker 1: that was literally their job is to do this part

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Speaker 1: or to do this part, and so you could figure

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Speaker 1: things out easily and it wasn't as overwhelming. And there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff I didn't then have to worry about.

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Speaker 1: So I personally like to follow rules versus figure them out.

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Speaker 1: So that's probably my least favorite part about what I do.

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Speaker 1: Number two would be I think it's the idea, and

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Speaker 1: this might be personal to me, that people assume, because

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Speaker 1: you're a therapist, that you know more than you do,

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Speaker 1: and I mean I know more than I do. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of like when somebody's a doctor, right, and you

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Speaker 1: ask them questions about cancer or this pain I have

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Speaker 1: in my neck or my fever, or I have this

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Speaker 1: weird bump somewhere, or I don't know. I could go

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Speaker 1: on and on my hormones, my vitamin A, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Like doctors have specialties and they might have more than

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Speaker 1: the general public's idea about a lot of things I

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Speaker 1: have to do with our health, But most doctors don't

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Speaker 1: know everything about everything. And I feel that as a

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Speaker 1: therapist that you get a very general education on a

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Speaker 1: lot of stuff, but when it comes to these specific

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Speaker 1: mental health disorders or just like parts of mental health,

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Speaker 1: you have to go out of your way to get

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Speaker 1: specialized education and training on those things. And I don't

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Speaker 1: have the capacity to know everything about everything I've not.

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Speaker 1: More recently, with the rise of TikTok and mental health

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Speaker 1: discussions on social media, I've had clients or just people

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Speaker 1: in my life say to me, I've learned X y

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Speaker 1: Z on TikTok, sometimes with the connotation of you should

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Speaker 1: know about this, or why don't you know about this,

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Speaker 1: or why haven't you told me about this? And sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's because it's actually not true. Sometimes it's because maybe

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Speaker 1: it wasn't time for us to go there, if you're

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Speaker 1: my client and that was coming. And sometimes it's because

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Speaker 1: I really have no idea what they're talking about, and

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if it's true or not, because

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Speaker 1: I literally don't know anything about that. So I think

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Speaker 1: that's probably a tough part about the job is sometimes

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Speaker 1: it feels like there's a lot of pressure to know

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Speaker 1: more than I know. And that's where I've had to

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Speaker 1: actually do a lot of my own personal work on

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Speaker 1: what that brings up in me and how to navigate

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Speaker 1: that when it comes up. And then my thirdly favorite part,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of similar. It's the expectation that if you're

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Speaker 1: a therapist, then your life might look a certain way,

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Speaker 1: or your life should look a certain way, or you

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Speaker 1: should live your life a certain way. And while I

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Speaker 1: am totally cool with if I'm a therapist, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to keep my personal issues outside of work, and I

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Speaker 1: can hold that boundary and be able to show up

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Speaker 1: well for my clients. I think early on I didn't

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Speaker 1: know whether outside of work I was supposed to act

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Speaker 1: like I had it all together, or that's a space

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Speaker 1: where I could just like relax and be a hot mess.

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Speaker 1: And therapists are going to struggle in their own human way,

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Speaker 1: whether they're great therapists or not. And I've seen a

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Speaker 1: lot of judgment around that, whether it's in the form of, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: you're a therapist, so you probably think xyz, or you're

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Speaker 1: probably like this, and it's like, no, I just like

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Speaker 1: want to hang out and have a drink with my

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Speaker 1: friends and play games, and sometimes I want to gossip,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I want to do things that might not

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Speaker 1: be the best for me. Like I still have all

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Speaker 1: those human parts. So there's that one part that like

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Speaker 1: there's this expectation that you're going to be a certain way,

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Speaker 1: and then sometimes there's this expectation that you should be

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Speaker 1: a certain way, and like you shouldn't be doing that,

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Speaker 1: and I've experienced both of those, and so that just

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Speaker 1: is a strange part of working in this field that

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Speaker 1: I think maybe not all professions experience. You know, I

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Speaker 1: think there might be a expectation of professionalism in and

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Speaker 1: outside the workplace for a lot of people. But my

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Speaker 1: husband is in an accountant, and I don't think he

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Speaker 1: shows up with a lot of prejudgments on how he

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Speaker 1: should interact in his personal relationships because he's an accountant,

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Speaker 1: you know. Okay, now let's get to the fun stuff.

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Speaker 1: My favorite parts. So without a doubt, my favorite part

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Speaker 1: of being a therapist is I really do find the

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Speaker 1: meat of what I do really fun, really exciting. It

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Speaker 1: can be very hard and be very emotionally taxing, and

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Speaker 1: it can be confusing, and it can be a lot

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Speaker 1: of things, and I don't get to just like turn

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Speaker 1: off and zone out of the realities of life when

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Speaker 1: I go to work. I can't just stare at his

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Speaker 1: computer screen and you know, type some numbers like my

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Speaker 1: husband and just like zone in in that way, which

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Speaker 1: I think also is not ideal for many people. And

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Speaker 1: sometimes I wish I could do that, like I could

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Speaker 1: just like have a little escape, But I wouldn't trade

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Speaker 1: it for the fact that there are so many moments

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Speaker 1: where the job is really fun, exciting and interesting and

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Speaker 1: very very rewarding. I've had so many clients share with

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Speaker 1: me things that they've never shared with anybody else, and

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Speaker 1: I got to help be a springboard for them maybe

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Speaker 1: to share those things with other people. And I've been

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Speaker 1: able to hear exciting news from clients. It's not always

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Speaker 1: the trauma. Sometimes I'm the first one to get to

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Speaker 1: hear really exciting, special news from clients, and I just

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Speaker 1: feel like that part of my job is so special

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Speaker 1: and sacred and unique, and I don't know, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: trade that for anything. My second favorite part is as

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Speaker 1: much as I am not perfect in my own life,

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Speaker 1: as I was just talking about, this job has I mean,

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Speaker 1: no doubt in my mind, has made me a better

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Speaker 1: human being, has made me a better friend, has made

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Speaker 1: me a better partner, better sister, daughter, all of the things.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, I think at first it probably made

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Speaker 1: me worse at those things, But once I was able

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Speaker 1: to kind of like manage my own expectations for myself

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Speaker 1: as a therapist and was able to integrate some of

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Speaker 1: the things that I was learning into my life in

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Speaker 1: a healthy way. I think this job has made my

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Speaker 1: own personal life so much healthier. And I said in college,

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Speaker 1: even an undergrad, when I was going I got my

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Speaker 1: undergrad and child and family studies, and I would say,

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Speaker 1: even if I don't work a day in my life,

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Speaker 1: this job is just preparing me better for life in general.

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Speaker 1: And I've had to do so much work on myself

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Speaker 1: to do my job well since then. And I think

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Speaker 1: that's pretty cool that it translates in that way that yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm still imperfect and I still am not showing up

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Speaker 1: as I show up twenty four to seven as a

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Speaker 1: therapist in my personal life, but it has made my

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Speaker 1: personal life so much more healthy and vibrant, I think.

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Speaker 1: And then three, this is more specific to my role

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Speaker 1: in private practice, but I can't not mention this because

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Speaker 1: it's such a benefit of what I do, and it's

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Speaker 1: more general. But the flexibility of my job is amazing now.

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Speaker 1: It's a fine balance because I am my own boss

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Speaker 1: and because I make my own schedule. I think that

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Speaker 1: sometimes we can take that to an extreme where we

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Speaker 1: are moving things around and canceling and taking that too far.

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Speaker 1: But I get to set my own schedule, like I

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Speaker 1: can work as little or as much as I feel

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Speaker 1: is necessary or I'm capable of. And I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's going to affect how much money I make, and

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Speaker 1: you know, the life I live. But if I want

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Speaker 1: to take a vacation at a certain time, like I

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Speaker 1: get to do that, And I just think that's also

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Speaker 1: a very unique thing to be able to plan my

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Speaker 1: life out that way. There are a lot of cons

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Speaker 1: with running my own business, and there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of things that a lot of perks I don't get

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Speaker 1: being a very small business owner, and I wouldn't trade it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that I would trade it for some

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Speaker 1: of the perks I would get with having less freedom.

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Speaker 1: The freedom is very, very valuable to me now. Granted

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Speaker 1: I didn't always have this freedom, and even when I

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Speaker 1: started private practice, I worked way more just because I

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Speaker 1: had to afford a lot of things and I didn't

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Speaker 1: have the financial flexibility back then to do that. But

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Speaker 1: as time has gone by, I've been able to build

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Speaker 1: up more flexibility and freedom in that way. So I

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Speaker 1: really appreciate that and the advice that I would give myself.

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Speaker 1: This is tough because I would say I'm grateful for

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Speaker 1: how little I knew going into what I was doing,

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Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for things I didn't know because the

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Speaker 1: way things unfolded. I don't know if I would have

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Speaker 1: taken certain risks and done certain things if I had

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Speaker 1: known certain things. Yes, I messed up a lot, and

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Speaker 1: maybe they're there are some things I would do differently

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Speaker 1: if I could have avoided doing them that way. But

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I don't know if I would

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Speaker 1: really want that, because the lessons I learned were harsh

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Speaker 1: lessons that I will never forget, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I would miss something if those things hadn't had happened.

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Speaker 1: I will say this is one thing that I think

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Speaker 1: about from time to time. I wish I put more

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Speaker 1: attention on the program I was going to itself, and

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Speaker 1: how students were cared for, and just what the culture

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Speaker 1: was like and all of that more than just like

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Speaker 1: the name of the school. And maybe I've talked before

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Speaker 1: about I went to Vanderbilt and that stuck out to

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Speaker 1: me versus some of these other programs I was looking

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Speaker 1: at that didn't have as prestigious of a name, because

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Speaker 1: the name being prestigious does not always translate to the

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Speaker 1: best program for you. And I liked my program. I

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Speaker 1: got what I needed, and I think I also would

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Speaker 1: have maybe thrived in a smaller, more intimate setting. Figure's

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Speaker 1: not always better. And then the other thing that's coming

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Speaker 1: to mind is this idea of letting myself be new,

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Speaker 1: something that I talk about a lot with clients, and I,

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Speaker 1: when I was younger, didn't allow myself to show up

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Speaker 1: that way as much as I wish I could have.

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Speaker 1: I felt so much pressure to be good at what

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Speaker 1: I was doing, and it affected my ability to just

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Speaker 1: enjoy part of the process of learning. And there's this

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Speaker 1: benefit of being new that like you can expect to

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Speaker 1: mess up, like you kind of have an excuse for

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Speaker 1: messing up. To me, it's a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: really that I wish I allowed myself to have of like,

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Speaker 1: of course you said that, like how would you know,

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Speaker 1: like you've learned this stuff yet. And the expectation I

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Speaker 1: have myself for new therapists is that you really don't

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Speaker 1: know what the heck is going on, and you're not

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Speaker 1: going to know what to do in all these circumstances,

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Speaker 1: and you're not going to know how to respond. And

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Speaker 1: until you learn how to do it and if you've

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Speaker 1: never done it before, yeah, you can like take a

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Speaker 1: risk and try and it could go well. But also

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Speaker 1: you're just as likely to take a risk and maybe

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Speaker 1: it didn't go so well. And that didn't click for me.

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Speaker 1: When I was younger, I thought I had to be

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Speaker 1: good at being a therapist before I tried to be

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Speaker 1: a therapist, and I actually wasn't good for a very

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Speaker 1: long time. I think I was okay, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know that I caused harm, but I wasn't to the

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Speaker 1: level of some of the seasoned therapists that I was

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Speaker 1: training alongside, and that, rather than a gift, was super

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Speaker 1: scary for me. And yeah, I just wish I allowed

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Speaker 1: myself to be new and to be messy, and to

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Speaker 1: learn by allowing myself to be new and messy. Now

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Speaker 1: with that, not being good yet does not mean you

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Speaker 1: won't be great one day. And it's really easy to

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Speaker 1: say in the in the beginning stages of new stuff

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Speaker 1: like well, I'm just not meant to do this, when

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Speaker 1: in reality, maybe you just need some time to practice

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Speaker 1: and experience some things. I've seen the fear of being

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Speaker 1: bad at something stops a lot of people, including myself,

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Speaker 1: from trying things that they really long to do. So

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Speaker 1: you know, if I could go back and give myself

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Speaker 1: advice in that space, I would say, what things would

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Speaker 1: you try and would you feel more comfortable trying to

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Speaker 1: do if you knew and everybody knew you were going

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Speaker 1: to be bad at it for a while and that

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Speaker 1: was the expectation. That's how I want myself to go

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Speaker 1: into things like my internship and stuff like that. So

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Speaker 1: I hope this doesn't help with somewhat helpful in some way.

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Speaker 1: I know these are personal to me, so they might

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Speaker 1: not fit with everybody. I think I might put a

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Speaker 1: question box up on This will be going out Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: so I'll put a question box up Wednesday to ask

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Speaker 1: other therapists in our community what their favorite and least

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Speaker 1: favorite parts of their job is. So maybe to give

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Speaker 1: you some ideas of other things, and you can take

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Speaker 1: what makes sense and leave what doesn't. I will be

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Speaker 1: back on Monday for a new episode of You Need

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Speaker 1: Therapy Podcast, And until then, one remember we have new

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Speaker 1: march up You Need Therapy Podcast dot com. You can

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Speaker 1: click that link in the show notes. You can also

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Speaker 1: click that link in our Instagram bio. Instagram is at

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Speaker 1: you need therapy podcasts and at cat dot defada really

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Speaker 1: cute stuff. I have a crew neck sweatshirt and a

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Speaker 1: T shirt and then lots of fun get goodies like stickers, magnets,

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Speaker 1: key chains with little phrases that have come up on

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Speaker 1: the show. So I hope you guys are enjoying finding

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Speaker 1: some of that stuff. And until Monday, I hope you

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Speaker 1: guys have of the day you need to have