Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2: Okay, so this week's adult education which, by the way, Hi,
Speaker 2: we're back from hiatus Enid, Oklahoma. Any things you want
Speaker 2: to call out about Enid, Babe.
Speaker 1: We'll get a show out to the Italian restaurant which shaved,
Speaker 1: which saved my nutrition every day.
Speaker 2: It was lovely. It was called Napoli not Police. Yeah, Police,
Speaker 2: great Italian place you.
Speaker 1: Can I salmon with no butter and no oil.
Speaker 2: And yeah, that was a tricky one, is en We
Speaker 2: knew what to expect. Yeah, it was a It was
Speaker 2: a cute little time which we chatted about it this
Speaker 2: week with the girls too. But it was really sweet
Speaker 2: and happy to be back. I'm kind of a psycho
Speaker 2: when I get back from filming. Uh I just I
Speaker 2: love to be home, which is nice and so just
Speaker 2: getting back into the grind of things and go in
Speaker 2: and work in. But speaking of working, you have been
Speaker 2: working with our next guest who is he's ginormous huge,
Speaker 2: He's huge. He's a he's an author, speaker, counselor. I
Speaker 2: mean he has worked with some of the biggest names,
Speaker 2: I mean in this industry from you know, business Moguls,
Speaker 2: professional athletes. He's worked with, Robert Downey Junior, Charlie Sheen,
Speaker 2: I mean, Kanye West, so many people.
Speaker 1: I think the kind of the dynamic of our relationship
Speaker 1: is he's almost like a business type mentor for me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: although but he'll naturally, he will naturally delve into because
Speaker 1: he wants to get to know you and he needs to.
Speaker 1: He'll delve into the personal side of your life, which
Speaker 1: then complements the business ideas that it has. And the
Speaker 1: way he structures your vision old my vision, but he
Speaker 1: helps me structure. So yeah, almost like a business mentor.
Speaker 1: And he's incredible, like you just you could talk to
Speaker 1: him for hours.
Speaker 2: He really is. I Mean we met him through a
Speaker 2: mutual friend and I've known his work for a little
Speaker 2: bit and watch some of his stuff, but I mean
Speaker 2: he's just we got to watch him speak and it's
Speaker 2: just the impact. And then I just love that y'all
Speaker 2: have been able to create a really great friendship too,
Speaker 2: And because I think it's really nice to have that
Speaker 2: mentor in person helping guide guide you along, you know,
Speaker 2: pass where you might need a little motivation or a
Speaker 2: mentorships and or a mentor, you know, mentoring on.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, but his name is Tim Story. He's phenomenal. Do
Speaker 2: yourself a favor and follow him on Instagram. But he's
Speaker 2: got some coaching programs too that we'll talk to him about,
Speaker 2: like Alan is doing with him. But let's get Tim's
Speaker 2: story on. Let's not let him wait another minute. Hi, Tim, good.
Speaker 4: To see you. Thank you for wearing your glasses today.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I just really wanted to channel
Speaker 2: Tim and so I thought, you know, and I just
Speaker 2: want to see you better too.
Speaker 4: So there's that it's working.
Speaker 2: We're so happy to have you on. So we'll just
Speaker 2: kind of jump right into it. But you and Alan
Speaker 2: have actually you guys have been working together.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we like besties, are No.
Speaker 2: I love that because it's you know, it's we We
Speaker 2: got to have the honor to see you speak. And
Speaker 2: I've obviously known about you for a long time. We
Speaker 2: share a mutual friend and I finally got to I've
Speaker 2: seen your you know stuff online and uh, but I
Speaker 2: got to actually see you in person. And you know,
Speaker 2: to be such a motivating person to so many other people,
Speaker 2: I always like to know where do you personally have
Speaker 2: to motivate yourself in your daily life, Like where is
Speaker 2: that like? Because I even like when I look at
Speaker 2: my therapist, I'm all right, where do you struggle? I
Speaker 2: need to know where we can like be on the
Speaker 2: same page and know that I'm you know that I'm
Speaker 2: not the only person that's struggling here having a tough time.
Speaker 2: So it's when you're out motivating. Is there ever that
Speaker 2: piece of you like you're still trying to find something
Speaker 2: to motivate you?
Speaker 4: Yes, so great question. I think that for some people
Speaker 4: it's innate, it's inside them to just be full of
Speaker 4: inspiration and see things positive. I was fortunate enough to
Speaker 4: get that gift. So like when I was a kid,
Speaker 4: I was a first one up of the five children,
Speaker 4: I was the youngest. I was up super early because
Speaker 4: I wanted to get the television so I could watch
Speaker 4: my cartoons. I was very motivated to do my homework.
Speaker 4: So there's there's a lot of just inside inspiration that's there.
Speaker 4: And then the second thing is I've been very, very
Speaker 4: fortunate to have a lot of male friends around me
Speaker 4: since I was a child that really have had my back,
Speaker 4: that really check on me see how I'm doing. And
Speaker 4: I think that that has been a real strength to
Speaker 4: my life, so I never get too depleted because I
Speaker 4: always find that there's people around that want to lift
Speaker 4: me up.
Speaker 2: I also it's interesting for me too because we've had
Speaker 2: a lot of these conversations where baby, you've said that
Speaker 2: you're very cynical.
Speaker 4: I can be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, when we were leaving that Aspire
Speaker 2: workshop and you know, hearing some of the speakers, you
Speaker 2: know a lot of times it's like, you know, stand
Speaker 2: up if you believe it, or clap you and it's like,
Speaker 2: though I want to believe it. It's like, is me
Speaker 2: standing up right now saying all this stuff? I'm like,
Speaker 2: is there am I going to get that part that
Speaker 2: I really want I if I or is this just
Speaker 2: kind of luff to make me feel better? Like that's
Speaker 2: the cynical part of me that goes, Okay, yeah, I
Speaker 2: love it and I'm motivated, but it's been ten years.
Speaker 2: I haven't been back on a show that I really
Speaker 2: want and then like, I can do this till I'm
Speaker 2: blue in the face, but like, I don't know, And
Speaker 2: then that's where I kind of can relate to the
Speaker 2: cynic side that you sometimes go to bed.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, So I think the caveat to that is
Speaker 1: so I do have a little bit of cynicism, and
Speaker 1: a little bit I lack trust in certain people in situations,
Speaker 1: probably in business more than anything. So I think the
Speaker 1: positive spin on that is when someone comes along in
Speaker 1: your life that you feel that can be a real
Speaker 1: mentor that you feel that you can improve with every
Speaker 1: word that they say and every word that you say
Speaker 1: to them, then that's even more important and even more
Speaker 1: powerful because as a slight cynic I don't always get
Speaker 1: people like Tim involved in my life where I look
Speaker 1: forward to the sessions and when I come out of
Speaker 1: the sessions, I feel energized and ambitious and hungry and
Speaker 1: ready to go and work. So the part of the
Speaker 1: part where I think the cynicism can almost be a
Speaker 1: powerful thing because when the because you don't get drawn
Speaker 1: in by everyone, if you're a if you're a little
Speaker 1: bit cynical, but when the person, when people do come
Speaker 1: along that are right for you in your life at
Speaker 1: that time, that particular time and for that phase, then
Speaker 1: you embrace them and they empower you and hopefully you
Speaker 1: empower them. And that's just this kind of what what
Speaker 1: Tim's like for me. He's like a mentor like a
Speaker 1: business exactly. It's just everything that I need to bounce
Speaker 1: my ideas off of and my thoughts they go through
Speaker 1: they go through him in those sessions, and it's not
Speaker 1: it's not very often I embrace people. But with Tim
Speaker 1: has an aura and a natural energy around them where
Speaker 1: you want to extract his energy. His information has guidance everything.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and and yeah, and it's like yes, absolutely,
Speaker 2: and then it's about how do you like that get
Speaker 2: up and clap and like if you believe it? Is
Speaker 2: that just to like get the people to feel something.
Speaker 4: Yes, So number one, thank you for the compliments that
Speaker 4: you're giving me. So I think that in life, we're
Speaker 4: all going through recovery and discovery at the same time.
Speaker 4: So if there's three thousand people there, everybody is going
Speaker 4: through recovery of something and hopefully discovery of something else.
Speaker 4: So it could be recovery from a health issue, or
Speaker 4: maybe something has happened to their parents, or they're going
Speaker 4: through their own challenging situations financially or even in a relationship.
Speaker 4: So the way I come across as a person that
Speaker 4: is speaking and working with people, I first am looking
Speaker 4: after those people in the recovery zone. So I'm definitely
Speaker 4: not trying to hype somebody that's in a hospital. So
Speaker 4: what I what I am doing is I am being
Speaker 4: my authentic self. Like in sports, I was a captain
Speaker 4: of every team I've ever been on, even if I
Speaker 4: wasn't the best athlete. So I'm a natural born leader.
Speaker 4: I'm a natural born cheerleader. So what I am saying,
Speaker 4: let's clap, It's truly coming from who I am, because
Speaker 4: I'm like that in my daily life. Like I could
Speaker 4: go to CBS and the lady behind the counter will say,
Speaker 4: do you know how I look forward to when you come?
Speaker 4: And I asked her the other day why she goes?
Speaker 4: Cause you just are always giving me compliments. You even
Speaker 4: notice my hair. That's just been me since I was
Speaker 4: a kid. So but in the idea of inspiration motivation,
Speaker 4: I'm very careful with people because again, someone could be
Speaker 4: in deep recovery. I'm definitely not trying to clap them
Speaker 4: out of it.
Speaker 2: M Okay, that makes and I love that. Like recovery
Speaker 2: and a good discovery like that is it's set so true.
Speaker 2: What do you think your recovery discovery is?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: Does does everybody have like it. Everybody has one right
Speaker 2: in the moment that they're in.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So I think I think for your husband, before
Speaker 4: he even answers, the discovery is finding you. I think
Speaker 4: that you guys found each other and you have this
Speaker 4: nice alignment as two bright people that are doing great things.
Speaker 4: I think the recovery would would be some of the
Speaker 4: challenges that he's faced in the past, maybe in relationships
Speaker 4: or even stepping into what his profession is now, because
Speaker 4: in getting to know him, when you have so many talents,
Speaker 4: it's which one do we do now? And so I
Speaker 4: think that there is some recovery and discovery going on
Speaker 4: at the same time. But that's a beautiful place for
Speaker 4: him to be.
Speaker 2: Agreed, Yeah, because I think when we've discussed and you know,
Speaker 2: if you're open to sharing, where you just there's so
Speaker 2: many things like so when you have so many directions,
Speaker 2: you almost feel lost in that because it's like what
Speaker 2: do I do? Which direction do I go? And that
Speaker 2: that's a that's a tough place too, And that's.
Speaker 1: It comes down to. It comes down to prioritize and
Speaker 1: like I've explained to you many times, it's like I've
Speaker 1: got these ten plates spinning above me, which one do
Speaker 1: I grab and bring down and embrace and prioritize and
Speaker 1: focus on. And that's that's that's the difficult part. And
Speaker 1: that leads to the sessions with Tim, where's okay, this
Speaker 1: is this is the direction, and this is this is
Speaker 1: how we move old. It's tough when you when you
Speaker 1: have a few different options to prioritize because it's so
Speaker 1: difficult to do so many things properly, really really properly
Speaker 1: well said.
Speaker 4: So there's a book by a guy named Keller called
Speaker 4: The One Thing, and so as he's saying that when
Speaker 4: you feel like you have these spinning plates going, the
Speaker 4: strength that he has to have at this stage of
Speaker 4: his life is to go after that one thing. So,
Speaker 4: but there's a one thing in many parts of our life,
Speaker 4: because our life is many things. It's relationship, it's you
Speaker 4: guys have children, it's his business side, it's your business side.
Speaker 4: But really going after that one thing and mastering that thing.
Speaker 4: And this is part of the blind spot of many
Speaker 4: UH creatives that I work with, is that they don't
Speaker 4: really stick with that one thing. So they don't cultivate
Speaker 4: the land and dig deep and pull out the best
Speaker 4: of it. They move too quick.
Speaker 2: It's like, what's next. I feel that. Yeah, I feel
Speaker 2: like I did the It's like, all right, cool, did
Speaker 2: that singing? Okay? Check? Now, let's all right. Now I
Speaker 2: get to create this thing and it's and then it's
Speaker 2: just which It's like, I don't think I've mastered truly
Speaker 2: any of them besides Motherhood, and I still haven't mastered that.
Speaker 2: That's just the you know what, I feel like I
Speaker 2: do the best at.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: When you think of yourself, Jane, because you have so
Speaker 4: many sides to yourself, you know, you have the act inside,
Speaker 4: the singing side, the writer side, the podcaster side, the speaker.
Speaker 4: I mean, you could do anything that's in art in
Speaker 4: my opinion. Okay, So for yourself, what do you think
Speaker 4: is like one area that you want to really go
Speaker 4: after in twenty twenty five? Have you thought about it?
Speaker 4: And if so, maybe do you want to even share it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think I this year, I think I hold
Speaker 2: myself well. I I feel like I hold myself back
Speaker 2: in a lot of the things that I do because
Speaker 2: I create a scenario like, oh I can't do that
Speaker 2: because you know it wouldn't be a success or I'm
Speaker 2: not good enough for that. And so I put my
Speaker 2: own limitations of what I believe myself on the things
Speaker 2: that I want to do, of why it wouldn't be successful.
Speaker 2: And I think that's my achilles heel. Is that the
Speaker 2: word that's the negat thing for me, where I just
Speaker 2: for example, like I have an audition today, I'm already
Speaker 2: walking in the room going, I'm not going to get
Speaker 2: it because I'm not the age they want, the you know,
Speaker 2: the look they probably want. And so what I'm trying
Speaker 2: to do is because I want to well, you know,
Speaker 2: I want to get back on a you know, a
Speaker 2: TV show. And that's like what I'm just like, my my,
Speaker 2: that's my gooseag, Like that's what I want so badly
Speaker 2: to be back on a show and and you know,
Speaker 2: doing the show that I love and acting and not
Speaker 2: just you know Christmas movies all the time and stuff
Speaker 2: like that. Like I just and but I have to
Speaker 2: somehow find the belief that I'm a capable of it
Speaker 2: and that I that I can do it and that
Speaker 2: I'm going to find it. It's just in this industry,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just so hard because you get so
Speaker 2: close and things get ripped from you, and it's like
Speaker 2: I thought I had it last year and then it
Speaker 2: got you know, I lost the test and it's just so,
Speaker 2: but I have to find somewhere the belief in myself
Speaker 2: that I'm good enough to be able to get the
Speaker 2: thing that I want. And that's what I think it
Speaker 2: has been holding me back for a long time. And
Speaker 2: that's where I kind of go, oh, I've been so
Speaker 2: like with the music, Okay, I got a few awards,
Speaker 2: a few platinum albums, great, check that off, because I
Speaker 2: don't want to. I did good enough that I don't
Speaker 2: want to continue to go and then fail. So I'm
Speaker 2: proud of myself for what it did. Now I'm going
Speaker 2: to go onto the next thing. And so that's just
Speaker 2: where I feel like I'm my worst self. I hold
Speaker 2: myself back the most.
Speaker 4: So in life coaching, we look at it in quarters.
Speaker 4: So you have like birth to age twenty, then you
Speaker 4: have age twenty to age forty, then age forty to
Speaker 4: age sixty, then age sixty to eighty, and then eighty
Speaker 4: tow one hundred is what we call like the bonus. Okay,
Speaker 4: So when I'm coaching people like birth to twenty, so
Speaker 4: like seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty people are just trying to
Speaker 4: figure it out. Okay. I find that twenty to forty,
Speaker 4: about thirty five to forty is when people really start
Speaker 4: hitting hard and they're like, okay, what's going on? When
Speaker 4: people slide into the forties, if they're not careful, they
Speaker 4: can almost get a little fearful because they feel like
Speaker 4: they're playing catch up rather than just kind of gain
Speaker 4: going in that flow. They feel like they're trying to
Speaker 4: catch up. So when either one of you look at
Speaker 4: your life through that lens a birth to twenty twenty
Speaker 4: to forty and the thought of forty to sixty, what goes.
Speaker 2: To your mind, Well, forty to sixty just sounds really old.
Speaker 2: If I'm not going to lie like that first, So
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like, I haven't actually accomplished the
Speaker 2: things I want to accomplish yet. And then that just
Speaker 2: almost gave me a little anxiety. Fucking totally honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel forty to sexty. I certainly forty
Speaker 1: to fifty. I'm now at the stage where I're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you've done It's almost like being at university. You've done
Speaker 1: your studying. Now you need to really hone in on
Speaker 1: I explained this to you yesterday.
Speaker 3: Tim.
Speaker 1: It's like also, it's like my business is like a
Speaker 1: mystery to a lot of strikers because I'd never publicize
Speaker 1: what I do. I don't really show any sort of
Speaker 1: psychology stuff. Proper nitty gritty of the drill is nothing
Speaker 1: the mindset stuff. And now I've been really private up
Speaker 1: to that point. But I feel now I'm at the
Speaker 1: point where Okay, things are peaceful and stable enough, and okay,
Speaker 1: now is the point where you start to for the
Speaker 1: next to at least two or three years, Now you
Speaker 1: start to really show people who you are and what
Speaker 1: you do. I never wanted to do that from thirty
Speaker 1: to forty. I just wanted to grind and study and
Speaker 1: graft and get to the point where I was deemed
Speaker 1: as one of the best of what I do, but
Speaker 1: it was always private around it. Now I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: this is this is now the phase where you show
Speaker 1: people your knowledge, you give them an unsay and to
Speaker 1: and too you and your program and what you do
Speaker 1: with players.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 1: So that's part of my life. Almost feels like Okay,
Speaker 1: let's go, let's let's let's do yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but again, men many times process things different than
Speaker 4: a woman does. So Janna, you have different moving parts
Speaker 4: than he does, even though you're married, because you're you're
Speaker 4: the mother, right and you have other responsibilities. But so
Speaker 4: I think that that's the challenge many times of being
Speaker 4: multi talented, where you have these different things that you
Speaker 4: can do, like when you're saying, like, my music hit
Speaker 4: these levels, which I'm well aware of because I've known
Speaker 4: of you for many, many years. So I think that
Speaker 4: with the music, you're still just scratching the surface. I
Speaker 4: think that as you mature, and even on the songwriting
Speaker 4: side and the lyrics side and the musical side, I
Speaker 4: think we'll see you really elevate in a beautiful way
Speaker 4: on that side. But then on the acting side, I'm
Speaker 4: going to give you three quick words. Number one is revelation.
Speaker 4: Secondly is conviction. Thirdly is action. Before somebody takes a
Speaker 4: very strong action, they have to have a revelation of
Speaker 4: something like Oprah would say, an aha moment. So it's
Speaker 4: that feeling when you know that you know that you know,
Speaker 4: like duck on it, I am a really great actor.
Speaker 4: And you don't say that to everybody, but you say
Speaker 4: it to your green room, your inner circle. So you
Speaker 4: have the revelation. The revelation leads to conviction that you
Speaker 4: know that you know that you know. So when you
Speaker 4: are going into auditions, you're like, I'm pretty hard to beat.
Speaker 4: You don't tell everybody, but you could tell us because
Speaker 4: we're in your inner circle. But it's that revelation conviction
Speaker 4: that leads to action. And I think that that's when
Speaker 4: you would see like the al Pacinos of life, the
Speaker 4: Meryl Streeps of life, where they just dog on have
Speaker 4: a revelation that they know who they are.
Speaker 2: I'm going to take that into an audition. Today's kill it.
Speaker 4: WHOA, It's you've done work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you both work.
Speaker 4: You've gone to acting classes, you've done one on ones,
Speaker 4: you've done groups, You've been on things that you enjoyed
Speaker 4: doing other shows maybe not as much, but you've done
Speaker 4: the work. It's like before I go speak on a stage,
Speaker 4: like a lot of guys, they have like headphones on
Speaker 4: and they're like, you know, really getting in the moment.
Speaker 4: Some people are meditating, others are yelling at themselves. I'm
Speaker 4: joking with people. I'm joking with the sound guy, I'm
Speaker 4: joking with his kids, I'm asking his wife questions and
Speaker 4: they'll say, like, Tim, you're on in five minutes. Igh,
Speaker 4: I'm good, Tim. Seriously, you're on in two minutes ago.
Speaker 4: I'm good because I've already done twenty hours of studying
Speaker 4: for a forty five minute speech. I'm not cramming for a.
Speaker 2: Test, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I have such a revelation of what I'm going
Speaker 4: to do on that stage that it's almost like like this,
Speaker 4: like I'm kind of excited.
Speaker 2: I love that. When you're working with people, what would
Speaker 2: you say is the number one thing that does hold
Speaker 2: them back?
Speaker 4: Believing in themselves? Truly? Truly? Not where or they have
Speaker 4: said they believe in themselves to so many friends, but
Speaker 4: behind closed doors, do they really believe in themselves? And
Speaker 4: so I think that so many people, they hinder themselves
Speaker 4: from moving forward because there's an imposter syndrome that hits
Speaker 4: many Many people just block some of the good doors
Speaker 4: that are open for them because either they don't think
Speaker 4: they deserve it, or they just don't think that they're
Speaker 4: equipped to step through. This is an interesting thing. So,
Speaker 4: because I get to work with a lot of high
Speaker 4: profile people, I would say to them, while we thought
Speaker 4: you were amazing, did you ever feel like you kind
Speaker 4: of sucked. And I use that word, and this one guy,
Speaker 4: famous famous athlete, started laughing. He goes, only you would
Speaker 4: add that.
Speaker 5: He goes, I totally felt like I sucked, he said
Speaker 5: a lot of the times, I said, so even as
Speaker 5: we saw you as like just dominating, could not be stopped.
Speaker 4: He goes, yeah, because I looked at my weaknesses and
Speaker 4: I wasn't like a perfect father, and I wasn't a
Speaker 4: perfect husband, and so I didn't just see myself on
Speaker 4: the court. This was a basketball player. But is the
Speaker 4: same thing with famous actors that say to me that
Speaker 4: even at their height, whether they're they're still or not
Speaker 4: there now, they would say, I still felt less than
Speaker 4: which is interesting to me.
Speaker 2: What is the like how do you get It's like, okay,
Speaker 2: how do we believe in ourselves? Like what is the
Speaker 2: what is it the tool or tip that you give
Speaker 2: them to have that because or is that something that
Speaker 2: you can't give them and they just have to find
Speaker 2: it themselves.
Speaker 4: Oh no, you could, you could one hundred percent work
Speaker 4: through it, because I think too many times we're thinking
Speaker 4: through the lens of our faults, our flaws, and our failures.
Speaker 4: So even in an audition, like false flaws failures or
Speaker 4: him soccer slash football false flaws failures. So it's important
Speaker 4: that we don't look through that lens of false flaws failures,
Speaker 4: but look through a different lens. And that takes time
Speaker 4: to apply that lens and then learn how to look
Speaker 4: through that lens in a different way. And part of
Speaker 4: that is is that, hey, I may not be what
Speaker 4: I want to be, but thank goodness, I'm not what
Speaker 4: I used to be. Like I'm a work in progress.
Speaker 4: I am better than I was. That's a good place
Speaker 4: to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. I mean I feel like I walk
Speaker 2: into a lot of things and go, I'm good but
Speaker 2: not good enough. Like even with auditions, like I get close,
Speaker 2: I'm good, but I'm just not good enough. And it's
Speaker 2: like that's the piece that it's like I haven't been
Speaker 2: able to and I feel like that's I've carried that
Speaker 2: with a lot of things and just it was a
Speaker 2: good really but not good enough. I mean obviously now
Speaker 2: I've the relationship piece that's different now, But it's just you.
Speaker 1: Know, Tim, what do you think the difference is between
Speaker 1: And this goes back to your point as well, but
Speaker 1: not believing in yourself at times, So you have people
Speaker 1: who won't believe in themselves in certain situations, whether it's
Speaker 1: on an addition or whether it's they're on set. And
Speaker 1: then you have people who, certainly, in my realm of work,
Speaker 1: how I feel is I believe in myself, but I've
Speaker 1: got a problem with perfectionism. So therefore, when I when
Speaker 1: I'm critical of myself, it's not because I don't believe
Speaker 1: in myself, it's because what could have been a bit
Speaker 1: better or I could have done this instead. So what's
Speaker 1: the difference between lack of belief and because they must
Speaker 1: be they must be connected the lack of belief but
Speaker 1: also that the ability to like the perfectism thing as
Speaker 1: both a weaknesses is guess what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 4: So what psychologists would say is we are minimized many
Speaker 4: times by our mentors. So I think, all three of us,
Speaker 4: we have to see who are our mentors like? What
Speaker 4: were our parents like? What were our siblings like? What
Speaker 4: were our teachers like? Were we minimized by religion or
Speaker 4: maximized by religion? So a lot of people that I
Speaker 4: work with, they were minimized by their mentors. So I
Speaker 4: know grown men that are still afraid of their father
Speaker 4: and the father's opinion, and the father is like so old.
Speaker 4: And so these are things that we need to think about,
Speaker 4: like what kind of response did we get when we
Speaker 4: really did well when we were children?
Speaker 2: Huh? Mine was just not good enough? There we go.
Speaker 2: What was yours?
Speaker 1: It was a mix? Really, yeah, yeah, it was a
Speaker 1: mix of getting the praise and.
Speaker 2: Not getting the priests, which is yeah.
Speaker 4: But for Janna, I mean, and for real, this gets
Speaker 4: down deep into us. It's almost like if you're walking
Speaker 4: through New York and it's cold and it gets so
Speaker 4: cold it gets into your bones. This gets really into
Speaker 4: our bones of this idea of not being good enough.
Speaker 4: So then what do we have to do. We have
Speaker 4: to unlearn what we've learned, and we have to change
Speaker 4: our mindset. And so as we know, our mindset is
Speaker 4: ours to set. So what I would do if I
Speaker 4: was working with you one on one is I would
Speaker 4: have you read books that really help you to change
Speaker 4: your mindset, because that's going to change your perspective and
Speaker 4: even how you look at your self.
Speaker 2: Okay, can we get on that. Let's do that. You
Speaker 2: now have two clients in this household, two bank customers,
Speaker 2: one and two.
Speaker 4: Two brilliant ones that in my opinion, and this is
Speaker 4: not just fluff, I know when I when I feel it,
Speaker 4: I remember meeting like different stars before they became stars,
Speaker 4: like ones that if I named that everyone would know
Speaker 4: them like I met them like at fifteen or seventeen
Speaker 4: and you knew it, or even people at thirty five
Speaker 4: when I knew they were going to the next level.
Speaker 4: So I think that I think that life is speaking
Speaker 4: to both of you that I call it. Your calling
Speaker 4: is calling you. So there's a difference between a career
Speaker 4: and a calling. The career is not what you guys
Speaker 4: are looking for. You've done the career. Now you want
Speaker 4: to step up into your calling, and that is to
Speaker 4: live out your purpose and also through your purpose, help
Speaker 4: change a whole lot of people's lives. So when you're
Speaker 4: in that place, that's a beautiful place to be because
Speaker 4: now we are doing and growing and living for more
Speaker 4: than just ourselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, has a celebrity ever come up to you, because
Speaker 2: obviously you've worked with a lot and you just go,
Speaker 2: I can't like, because it's your time. Your time is
Speaker 2: very valuable, It's precious, and I know business is business,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, or there are just people
Speaker 2: that you're like, I just can't I can't even give
Speaker 2: my energy to it, or do you think or are
Speaker 2: you just like I want to help everybody in all No,
Speaker 2: I say no.
Speaker 4: And I've said no to probably three of our biggest
Speaker 4: celebrities of all time that are still alive. Yeah, because
Speaker 4: they were not honoring me. So it's like what your
Speaker 4: husband's doing with the whole idea of being great on
Speaker 4: the field and being a striker, if he's got like
Speaker 4: some young guy who's not respecting what he knows, and
Speaker 4: he knows that because of the way they're talking to
Speaker 4: them or him or treating them. So three of our
Speaker 4: biggest celebrities I've met with before, and they were making
Speaker 4: it like I'll try it, I'll try it. Well you
Speaker 4: helped him or her, I'll try it. And I said,
Speaker 4: if it's just like trying it, like maybe there's somebody next,
Speaker 4: I think we're missing something here. So no, there are
Speaker 4: some people that I did not connect with, but I
Speaker 4: will give it to one of the three. They came
Speaker 4: back around when they're in a better place and said, damn, Tim,
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. I was so full of myself. I
Speaker 4: couldn't see straight. Let's go at it. And I've been
Speaker 4: working with that person now for three years.
Speaker 2: I love that. And what is if there's one thing
Speaker 2: there like this is kind of my mantra that kind
Speaker 2: of gets you through tough times or to staying positive,
Speaker 2: believing in yourself. What's the what's the one thing that
Speaker 2: you kind of have on repeat in your in your head?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think this idea. In life. We all have
Speaker 4: life interruptions. So we have momentums. We have these times
Speaker 4: where there's momentum in our life and then there's a
Speaker 4: life interruption. And interruption is like a knock on the
Speaker 4: door that we did not expect, Okay, some kind of
Speaker 4: a challenge. When most people have a life interruption that
Speaker 4: I call a set back, they don't know how to
Speaker 4: handle it. They sit in the setback, they settle in
Speaker 4: the setback, and then the third one, they cement themselves
Speaker 4: in the setback, so they constantly talk about what could
Speaker 4: have been, So they settle, they cement. So the mantra
Speaker 4: that I really have in my mind is that you know,
Speaker 4: while I'm feeling the sting of a setback, life is
Speaker 4: already preparing my comeback. So no matter what I'm going through,
Speaker 4: I really have that in my heart and in my
Speaker 4: mind while I'm feeling the sting of it, because I
Speaker 4: have felt the sting of setbacks, but I believe that
Speaker 4: life is already preparing my comeback even while I'm feeling
Speaker 4: the sting of the setback.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably my favorite thing. I remember you talking
Speaker 2: about that, and I'm like, yes, like that is that
Speaker 2: was That was one of the big things that I
Speaker 2: took away from that from when I heard you talk
Speaker 2: about that, because it's just so true and it's it's
Speaker 2: so easy to sit in that setback. But I mean,
Speaker 2: I always believe in such a big believer in like
Speaker 2: next chapters and comebacks, and there's so much that you
Speaker 2: learn that you can then grow and then be the
Speaker 2: best version of yourself. So yeah, I'm all about everybody's comeback.
Speaker 2: We all deserve it. We all have it coming too,
Speaker 2: we just have to be open to receiving it.
Speaker 4: Okay, So tell me something that you're excited about of
Speaker 4: getting older the forty to sixty phase. Okay, becoming fifty
Speaker 4: fifty two, fifty five, fifty eight. Give me something you're
Speaker 4: excited about in that phase of your life.
Speaker 2: I would just say the first thing that came to
Speaker 2: mind was more peaceful. I'm a little high strung at
Speaker 2: times because I'm just grinding, grinding, grinding, and I hope
Speaker 2: that this grinding and there'll be some massive winds that
Speaker 2: I can just be more settled in peace and not
Speaker 2: feel that I have to hustle and I got to support,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm always have that fearful growing up with
Speaker 2: a single mom having to work for everything, then having
Speaker 2: that reality and then going, oh crap, I am the
Speaker 2: sole provider. I have to, you know, for my kids
Speaker 2: at that time. And then now you know, you know,
Speaker 2: we're obviously married, so I don't feel that pressure as much,
Speaker 2: but I still it's in my bones. It's been there
Speaker 2: since my mom was working three jobs. So I hope
Speaker 2: that's what I would like that piece.
Speaker 4: But that's a beautiful thought, right, that's a beautiful thought.
Speaker 4: I would say that is the gift that I have
Speaker 4: given the last five years of my life is peace.
Speaker 4: In fact, one of my friends who lives in Nashville,
Speaker 4: who is an entertainer, he said to me one day,
Speaker 4: he says, Tim, are you're on medication? And I go, no,
Speaker 4: I go, why do you ask? He says, you're so calm,
Speaker 4: it's almost weird. I said, it's the strangest thing. I said,
Speaker 4: I just have so much peace in my life. And
Speaker 4: to be honest with you, the piece that is in
Speaker 4: my life now. For a while, it was awkward, it
Speaker 4: felt strange, it felt different, and I was almost waiting
Speaker 4: for it to leave me. But I found ways to
Speaker 4: have it remain. But to be at peace is an
Speaker 4: amazing place to be. Peace does not mean perfection, but
Speaker 4: it is a state of mind, in a state of
Speaker 4: your spirit that can be amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that, Bibe. What about you.
Speaker 1: There's so many things that need to be so many
Speaker 1: things that need to be achieved that you know, as
Speaker 1: to a light, we can never set at peace for
Speaker 1: a second. Even when we watch a TV show, there's
Speaker 1: guilt because we shouldn't be watching this need to be
Speaker 1: more productive. So I think the piece part of it
Speaker 1: is something that we've always discussed.
Speaker 2: I don't wear my R ring anymore because it tells
Speaker 2: me I'm stressed twenty four to seven, so I've ditched that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think the next few years will
Speaker 1: still be will be grinding, and we'll be building things
Speaker 1: with the view to fifty two or fifty three, fifty four,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, or we can take a step back
Speaker 1: and trust the fact that we can take two or
Speaker 1: three days off not have to worry about things. Or
Speaker 1: when you don't get the role that you might have
Speaker 1: hoped for, your fine with it because you know you'll
Speaker 1: get the next one. So I think the piece say
Speaker 1: that it is important for me as well. I think
Speaker 1: where I see myself as an elevated, more composed, more
Speaker 1: digitalized version of what I am now, a version that
Speaker 1: people know better. Therefore I'll know myself better, So therefore
Speaker 1: I'll be more peace within our family life, for family dynamic,
Speaker 1: but also in our careers as well.
Speaker 4: This is a good discussion. It's almost like Merrital.
Speaker 2: Counseling Tim, we should just put you out retainer.
Speaker 4: No, but because I like this for him. But I
Speaker 4: think that as I'm talking to both you at the
Speaker 4: same time and everyone else is watching us, which is
Speaker 4: a lot of people, is that for Alan's life. He's
Speaker 4: really there's a time right here where you really do
Speaker 4: need to strike like there are open doors you right right,
Speaker 4: you need to just like bam, hit it. I say
Speaker 4: that you know when you when you get that break through,
Speaker 4: it's a breakthrough. It's not a break sit, it's a
Speaker 4: break through. So there's a there's an open door, so
Speaker 4: he's got to go after it. But that's only part
Speaker 4: of his day. There's other parts of his day. If
Speaker 4: you have one hundred percent tile, then we need a
Speaker 4: couple pieces of that pie of the day where he
Speaker 4: is still, where he's in the moment, where he's okay
Speaker 4: to be in the moment, but when he's working, he
Speaker 4: works bam bam bam, gets it done. And then when
Speaker 4: we take off, we we take off and we're very
Speaker 4: Eckard Toll. We're in the power of now, fully present,
Speaker 4: fully feeling, and fully alive.
Speaker 2: I love that you've a masterclass out right now? Is
Speaker 2: that right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, tell tell us everything where our listeners can just
Speaker 2: have a little piece of you.
Speaker 4: I think that I think the best place is timstory
Speaker 4: dot com. So that's s t R e y dot
Speaker 4: com shows what we do. I still executive coach companies,
Speaker 4: work with some people one on one and then on
Speaker 4: Instagram it's Tim's Story Official. And if you're interested in
Speaker 4: working with me in one way or another, just DM
Speaker 4: me and we can chat and see if there's a fit.
Speaker 4: But it's a privilege to get to know both of
Speaker 4: you more and I think we're all going to learn
Speaker 4: from each other. And that's the beauty of life.
Speaker 2: It's it's our it's our honor, for sure. We're so yeah,
Speaker 2: we're so grateful that you are in our life and
Speaker 2: just thank you for everything, and we cannot wait to
Speaker 2: see you soon. But yeah, we love you so thank
Speaker 2: you for coming on today.
Speaker 4: Thanks Tim, thank you You're the best.
Speaker 3: I have a great d