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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so this week's adult education which, by the way, Hi,

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Speaker 2: we're back from hiatus Enid, Oklahoma. Any things you want

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Speaker 2: to call out about Enid, Babe.

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Speaker 1: We'll get a show out to the Italian restaurant which shaved,

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Speaker 1: which saved my nutrition every day.

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Speaker 2: It was lovely. It was called Napoli not Police. Yeah, Police,

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Speaker 2: great Italian place you.

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Speaker 1: Can I salmon with no butter and no oil.

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Speaker 2: And yeah, that was a tricky one, is en We

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Speaker 2: knew what to expect. Yeah, it was a It was

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Speaker 2: a cute little time which we chatted about it this

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Speaker 2: week with the girls too. But it was really sweet

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Speaker 2: and happy to be back. I'm kind of a psycho

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Speaker 2: when I get back from filming. Uh I just I

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Speaker 2: love to be home, which is nice and so just

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Speaker 2: getting back into the grind of things and go in

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Speaker 2: and work in. But speaking of working, you have been

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Speaker 2: working with our next guest who is he's ginormous huge,

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Speaker 2: He's huge. He's a he's an author, speaker, counselor. I

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Speaker 2: mean he has worked with some of the biggest names,

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Speaker 2: I mean in this industry from you know, business Moguls,

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Speaker 2: professional athletes. He's worked with, Robert Downey Junior, Charlie Sheen,

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Speaker 2: I mean, Kanye West, so many people.

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Speaker 1: I think the kind of the dynamic of our relationship

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Speaker 1: is he's almost like a business type mentor for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: although but he'll naturally, he will naturally delve into because

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Speaker 1: he wants to get to know you and he needs to.

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Speaker 1: He'll delve into the personal side of your life, which

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Speaker 1: then complements the business ideas that it has. And the

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Speaker 1: way he structures your vision old my vision, but he

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Speaker 1: helps me structure. So yeah, almost like a business mentor.

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Speaker 1: And he's incredible, like you just you could talk to

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Speaker 1: him for hours.

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Speaker 2: He really is. I Mean we met him through a

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Speaker 2: mutual friend and I've known his work for a little

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Speaker 2: bit and watch some of his stuff, but I mean

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Speaker 2: he's just we got to watch him speak and it's

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Speaker 2: just the impact. And then I just love that y'all

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Speaker 2: have been able to create a really great friendship too,

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Speaker 2: And because I think it's really nice to have that

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Speaker 2: mentor in person helping guide guide you along, you know,

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Speaker 2: pass where you might need a little motivation or a

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Speaker 2: mentorships and or a mentor, you know, mentoring on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So, but his name is Tim Story. He's phenomenal. Do

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Speaker 2: yourself a favor and follow him on Instagram. But he's

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Speaker 2: got some coaching programs too that we'll talk to him about,

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Speaker 2: like Alan is doing with him. But let's get Tim's

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Speaker 2: story on. Let's not let him wait another minute. Hi, Tim, good.

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Speaker 4: To see you. Thank you for wearing your glasses today.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I just really wanted to channel

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Speaker 2: Tim and so I thought, you know, and I just

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Speaker 2: want to see you better too.

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Speaker 4: So there's that it's working.

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Speaker 2: We're so happy to have you on. So we'll just

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Speaker 2: kind of jump right into it. But you and Alan

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Speaker 2: have actually you guys have been working together.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we like besties, are No.

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Speaker 2: I love that because it's you know, it's we We

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Speaker 2: got to have the honor to see you speak. And

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Speaker 2: I've obviously known about you for a long time. We

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Speaker 2: share a mutual friend and I finally got to I've

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Speaker 2: seen your you know stuff online and uh, but I

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Speaker 2: got to actually see you in person. And you know,

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Speaker 2: to be such a motivating person to so many other people,

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Speaker 2: I always like to know where do you personally have

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Speaker 2: to motivate yourself in your daily life, Like where is

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Speaker 2: that like? Because I even like when I look at

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Speaker 2: my therapist, I'm all right, where do you struggle? I

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Speaker 2: need to know where we can like be on the

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Speaker 2: same page and know that I'm you know that I'm

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Speaker 2: not the only person that's struggling here having a tough time.

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Speaker 2: So it's when you're out motivating. Is there ever that

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Speaker 2: piece of you like you're still trying to find something

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Speaker 2: to motivate you?

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Speaker 4: Yes, so great question. I think that for some people

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Speaker 4: it's innate, it's inside them to just be full of

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Speaker 4: inspiration and see things positive. I was fortunate enough to

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Speaker 4: get that gift. So like when I was a kid,

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Speaker 4: I was a first one up of the five children,

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Speaker 4: I was the youngest. I was up super early because

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Speaker 4: I wanted to get the television so I could watch

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Speaker 4: my cartoons. I was very motivated to do my homework.

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Speaker 4: So there's there's a lot of just inside inspiration that's there.

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Speaker 4: And then the second thing is I've been very, very

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Speaker 4: fortunate to have a lot of male friends around me

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Speaker 4: since I was a child that really have had my back,

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Speaker 4: that really check on me see how I'm doing. And

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Speaker 4: I think that that has been a real strength to

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Speaker 4: my life, so I never get too depleted because I

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Speaker 4: always find that there's people around that want to lift

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Speaker 4: me up.

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Speaker 2: I also it's interesting for me too because we've had

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Speaker 2: a lot of these conversations where baby, you've said that

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Speaker 2: you're very cynical.

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Speaker 4: I can be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know, when we were leaving that Aspire

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Speaker 2: workshop and you know, hearing some of the speakers, you

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Speaker 2: know a lot of times it's like, you know, stand

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Speaker 2: up if you believe it, or clap you and it's like,

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Speaker 2: though I want to believe it. It's like, is me

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Speaker 2: standing up right now saying all this stuff? I'm like,

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Speaker 2: is there am I going to get that part that

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Speaker 2: I really want I if I or is this just

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Speaker 2: kind of luff to make me feel better? Like that's

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Speaker 2: the cynical part of me that goes, Okay, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: love it and I'm motivated, but it's been ten years.

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Speaker 2: I haven't been back on a show that I really

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Speaker 2: want and then like, I can do this till I'm

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Speaker 2: blue in the face, but like, I don't know, And

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Speaker 2: then that's where I kind of can relate to the

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Speaker 2: cynic side that you sometimes go to bed.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, So I think the caveat to that is

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Speaker 1: so I do have a little bit of cynicism, and

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Speaker 1: a little bit I lack trust in certain people in situations,

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Speaker 1: probably in business more than anything. So I think the

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Speaker 1: positive spin on that is when someone comes along in

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Speaker 1: your life that you feel that can be a real

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Speaker 1: mentor that you feel that you can improve with every

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Speaker 1: word that they say and every word that you say

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Speaker 1: to them, then that's even more important and even more

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Speaker 1: powerful because as a slight cynic I don't always get

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Speaker 1: people like Tim involved in my life where I look

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Speaker 1: forward to the sessions and when I come out of

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Speaker 1: the sessions, I feel energized and ambitious and hungry and

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Speaker 1: ready to go and work. So the part of the

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Speaker 1: part where I think the cynicism can almost be a

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Speaker 1: powerful thing because when the because you don't get drawn

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Speaker 1: in by everyone, if you're a if you're a little

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Speaker 1: bit cynical, but when the person, when people do come

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Speaker 1: along that are right for you in your life at

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Speaker 1: that time, that particular time and for that phase, then

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Speaker 1: you embrace them and they empower you and hopefully you

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Speaker 1: empower them. And that's just this kind of what what

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Speaker 1: Tim's like for me. He's like a mentor like a

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Speaker 1: business exactly. It's just everything that I need to bounce

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Speaker 1: my ideas off of and my thoughts they go through

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Speaker 1: they go through him in those sessions, and it's not

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Speaker 1: it's not very often I embrace people. But with Tim

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Speaker 1: has an aura and a natural energy around them where

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Speaker 1: you want to extract his energy. His information has guidance everything.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, and and yeah, and it's like yes, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: and then it's about how do you like that get

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Speaker 2: up and clap and like if you believe it? Is

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Speaker 2: that just to like get the people to feel something.

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Speaker 4: Yes, So number one, thank you for the compliments that

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Speaker 4: you're giving me. So I think that in life, we're

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Speaker 4: all going through recovery and discovery at the same time.

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Speaker 4: So if there's three thousand people there, everybody is going

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Speaker 4: through recovery of something and hopefully discovery of something else.

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Speaker 4: So it could be recovery from a health issue, or

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Speaker 4: maybe something has happened to their parents, or they're going

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Speaker 4: through their own challenging situations financially or even in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: So the way I come across as a person that

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Speaker 4: is speaking and working with people, I first am looking

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Speaker 4: after those people in the recovery zone. So I'm definitely

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Speaker 4: not trying to hype somebody that's in a hospital. So

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Speaker 4: what I what I am doing is I am being

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Speaker 4: my authentic self. Like in sports, I was a captain

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Speaker 4: of every team I've ever been on, even if I

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Speaker 4: wasn't the best athlete. So I'm a natural born leader.

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Speaker 4: I'm a natural born cheerleader. So what I am saying,

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Speaker 4: let's clap, It's truly coming from who I am, because

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Speaker 4: I'm like that in my daily life. Like I could

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Speaker 4: go to CBS and the lady behind the counter will say,

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Speaker 4: do you know how I look forward to when you come?

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Speaker 4: And I asked her the other day why she goes?

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Speaker 4: Cause you just are always giving me compliments. You even

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Speaker 4: notice my hair. That's just been me since I was

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Speaker 4: a kid. So but in the idea of inspiration motivation,

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Speaker 4: I'm very careful with people because again, someone could be

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Speaker 4: in deep recovery. I'm definitely not trying to clap them

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Speaker 4: out of it.

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Speaker 2: M Okay, that makes and I love that. Like recovery

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Speaker 2: and a good discovery like that is it's set so true.

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Speaker 2: What do you think your recovery discovery is?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Does does everybody have like it. Everybody has one right

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Speaker 2: in the moment that they're in.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So I think I think for your husband, before

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Speaker 4: he even answers, the discovery is finding you. I think

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Speaker 4: that you guys found each other and you have this

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Speaker 4: nice alignment as two bright people that are doing great things.

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Speaker 4: I think the recovery would would be some of the

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Speaker 4: challenges that he's faced in the past, maybe in relationships

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Speaker 4: or even stepping into what his profession is now, because

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Speaker 4: in getting to know him, when you have so many talents,

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Speaker 4: it's which one do we do now? And so I

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Speaker 4: think that there is some recovery and discovery going on

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Speaker 4: at the same time. But that's a beautiful place for

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Speaker 4: him to be.

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Speaker 2: Agreed, Yeah, because I think when we've discussed and you know,

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Speaker 2: if you're open to sharing, where you just there's so

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Speaker 2: many things like so when you have so many directions,

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Speaker 2: you almost feel lost in that because it's like what

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Speaker 2: do I do? Which direction do I go? And that

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Speaker 2: that's a that's a tough place too, And that's.

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Speaker 1: It comes down to. It comes down to prioritize and

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Speaker 1: like I've explained to you many times, it's like I've

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Speaker 1: got these ten plates spinning above me, which one do

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Speaker 1: I grab and bring down and embrace and prioritize and

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Speaker 1: focus on. And that's that's that's the difficult part. And

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Speaker 1: that leads to the sessions with Tim, where's okay, this

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Speaker 1: is this is the direction, and this is this is

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Speaker 1: how we move old. It's tough when you when you

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Speaker 1: have a few different options to prioritize because it's so

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Speaker 1: difficult to do so many things properly, really really properly

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Speaker 1: well said.

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Speaker 4: So there's a book by a guy named Keller called

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Speaker 4: The One Thing, and so as he's saying that when

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Speaker 4: you feel like you have these spinning plates going, the

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Speaker 4: strength that he has to have at this stage of

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Speaker 4: his life is to go after that one thing. So,

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Speaker 4: but there's a one thing in many parts of our life,

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Speaker 4: because our life is many things. It's relationship, it's you

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Speaker 4: guys have children, it's his business side, it's your business side.

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Speaker 4: But really going after that one thing and mastering that thing.

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Speaker 4: And this is part of the blind spot of many

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Speaker 4: UH creatives that I work with, is that they don't

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Speaker 4: really stick with that one thing. So they don't cultivate

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Speaker 4: the land and dig deep and pull out the best

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Speaker 4: of it. They move too quick.

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Speaker 2: It's like, what's next. I feel that. Yeah, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I did the It's like, all right, cool, did

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Speaker 2: that singing? Okay? Check? Now, let's all right. Now I

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Speaker 2: get to create this thing and it's and then it's

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Speaker 2: just which It's like, I don't think I've mastered truly

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Speaker 2: any of them besides Motherhood, and I still haven't mastered that.

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Speaker 2: That's just the you know what, I feel like I

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Speaker 2: do the best at.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: When you think of yourself, Jane, because you have so

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Speaker 4: many sides to yourself, you know, you have the act inside,

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Speaker 4: the singing side, the writer side, the podcaster side, the speaker.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you could do anything that's in art in

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Speaker 4: my opinion. Okay, So for yourself, what do you think

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Speaker 4: is like one area that you want to really go

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Speaker 4: after in twenty twenty five? Have you thought about it?

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Speaker 4: And if so, maybe do you want to even share it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I think I this year, I think I hold

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Speaker 2: myself well. I I feel like I hold myself back

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Speaker 2: in a lot of the things that I do because

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Speaker 2: I create a scenario like, oh I can't do that

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Speaker 2: because you know it wouldn't be a success or I'm

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Speaker 2: not good enough for that. And so I put my

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Speaker 2: own limitations of what I believe myself on the things

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Speaker 2: that I want to do, of why it wouldn't be successful.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's my achilles heel. Is that the

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Speaker 2: word that's the negat thing for me, where I just

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Speaker 2: for example, like I have an audition today, I'm already

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Speaker 2: walking in the room going, I'm not going to get

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Speaker 2: it because I'm not the age they want, the you know,

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Speaker 2: the look they probably want. And so what I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to do is because I want to well, you know,

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Speaker 2: I want to get back on a you know, a

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Speaker 2: TV show. And that's like what I'm just like, my my,

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Speaker 2: that's my gooseag, Like that's what I want so badly

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Speaker 2: to be back on a show and and you know,

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Speaker 2: doing the show that I love and acting and not

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Speaker 2: just you know Christmas movies all the time and stuff

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Speaker 2: like that. Like I just and but I have to

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Speaker 2: somehow find the belief that I'm a capable of it

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Speaker 2: and that I that I can do it and that

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Speaker 2: I'm going to find it. It's just in this industry,

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Speaker 2: you know, it's just so hard because you get so

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Speaker 2: close and things get ripped from you, and it's like

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Speaker 2: I thought I had it last year and then it

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Speaker 2: got you know, I lost the test and it's just so,

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Speaker 2: but I have to find somewhere the belief in myself

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Speaker 2: that I'm good enough to be able to get the

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Speaker 2: thing that I want. And that's what I think it

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Speaker 2: has been holding me back for a long time. And

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Speaker 2: that's where I kind of go, oh, I've been so

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Speaker 2: like with the music, Okay, I got a few awards,

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Speaker 2: a few platinum albums, great, check that off, because I

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Speaker 2: don't want to. I did good enough that I don't

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Speaker 2: want to continue to go and then fail. So I'm

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Speaker 2: proud of myself for what it did. Now I'm going

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Speaker 2: to go onto the next thing. And so that's just

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Speaker 2: where I feel like I'm my worst self. I hold

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Speaker 2: myself back the most.

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Speaker 4: So in life coaching, we look at it in quarters.

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Speaker 4: So you have like birth to age twenty, then you

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Speaker 4: have age twenty to age forty, then age forty to

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Speaker 4: age sixty, then age sixty to eighty, and then eighty

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Speaker 4: tow one hundred is what we call like the bonus. Okay,

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Speaker 4: So when I'm coaching people like birth to twenty, so

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Speaker 4: like seventeen eighteen, nineteen twenty people are just trying to

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Speaker 4: figure it out. Okay. I find that twenty to forty,

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Speaker 4: about thirty five to forty is when people really start

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Speaker 4: hitting hard and they're like, okay, what's going on? When

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Speaker 4: people slide into the forties, if they're not careful, they

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Speaker 4: can almost get a little fearful because they feel like

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Speaker 4: they're playing catch up rather than just kind of gain

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Speaker 4: going in that flow. They feel like they're trying to

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Speaker 4: catch up. So when either one of you look at

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Speaker 4: your life through that lens a birth to twenty twenty

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Speaker 4: to forty and the thought of forty to sixty, what goes.

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Speaker 2: To your mind, Well, forty to sixty just sounds really old.

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Speaker 2: If I'm not going to lie like that first, So

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like, I haven't actually accomplished the

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Speaker 2: things I want to accomplish yet. And then that just

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Speaker 2: almost gave me a little anxiety. Fucking totally honest.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel forty to sexty. I certainly forty

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Speaker 1: to fifty. I'm now at the stage where I're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you've done It's almost like being at university. You've done

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Speaker 1: your studying. Now you need to really hone in on

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Speaker 1: I explained this to you yesterday.

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Speaker 3: Tim.

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Speaker 1: It's like also, it's like my business is like a

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Speaker 1: mystery to a lot of strikers because I'd never publicize

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Speaker 1: what I do. I don't really show any sort of

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Speaker 1: psychology stuff. Proper nitty gritty of the drill is nothing

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Speaker 1: the mindset stuff. And now I've been really private up

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Speaker 1: to that point. But I feel now I'm at the

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Speaker 1: point where Okay, things are peaceful and stable enough, and okay,

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Speaker 1: now is the point where you start to for the

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Speaker 1: next to at least two or three years, Now you

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Speaker 1: start to really show people who you are and what

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Speaker 1: you do. I never wanted to do that from thirty

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Speaker 1: to forty. I just wanted to grind and study and

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Speaker 1: graft and get to the point where I was deemed

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Speaker 1: as one of the best of what I do, but

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Speaker 1: it was always private around it. Now I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: this is this is now the phase where you show

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Speaker 1: people your knowledge, you give them an unsay and to

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Speaker 1: and too you and your program and what you do

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Speaker 1: with players.

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Speaker 4: I like that.

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Speaker 1: So that's part of my life. Almost feels like Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's go, let's let's let's do yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but again, men many times process things different than

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Speaker 4: a woman does. So Janna, you have different moving parts

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Speaker 4: than he does, even though you're married, because you're you're

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Speaker 4: the mother, right and you have other responsibilities. But so

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Speaker 4: I think that that's the challenge many times of being

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Speaker 4: multi talented, where you have these different things that you

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Speaker 4: can do, like when you're saying, like, my music hit

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Speaker 4: these levels, which I'm well aware of because I've known

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Speaker 4: of you for many, many years. So I think that

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Speaker 4: with the music, you're still just scratching the surface. I

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Speaker 4: think that as you mature, and even on the songwriting

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Speaker 4: side and the lyrics side and the musical side, I

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Speaker 4: think we'll see you really elevate in a beautiful way

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Speaker 4: on that side. But then on the acting side, I'm

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Speaker 4: going to give you three quick words. Number one is revelation.

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Speaker 4: Secondly is conviction. Thirdly is action. Before somebody takes a

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Speaker 4: very strong action, they have to have a revelation of

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Speaker 4: something like Oprah would say, an aha moment. So it's

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Speaker 4: that feeling when you know that you know that you know,

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Speaker 4: like duck on it, I am a really great actor.

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Speaker 4: And you don't say that to everybody, but you say

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Speaker 4: it to your green room, your inner circle. So you

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Speaker 4: have the revelation. The revelation leads to conviction that you

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Speaker 4: know that you know that you know. So when you

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Speaker 4: are going into auditions, you're like, I'm pretty hard to beat.

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Speaker 4: You don't tell everybody, but you could tell us because

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Speaker 4: we're in your inner circle. But it's that revelation conviction

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Speaker 4: that leads to action. And I think that that's when

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Speaker 4: you would see like the al Pacinos of life, the

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Speaker 4: Meryl Streeps of life, where they just dog on have

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Speaker 4: a revelation that they know who they are.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to take that into an audition. Today's kill it.

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Speaker 4: WHOA, It's you've done work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you both work.

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Speaker 4: You've gone to acting classes, you've done one on ones,

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Speaker 4: you've done groups, You've been on things that you enjoyed

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Speaker 4: doing other shows maybe not as much, but you've done

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Speaker 4: the work. It's like before I go speak on a stage,

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Speaker 4: like a lot of guys, they have like headphones on

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Speaker 4: and they're like, you know, really getting in the moment.

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Speaker 4: Some people are meditating, others are yelling at themselves. I'm

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Speaker 4: joking with people. I'm joking with the sound guy, I'm

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Speaker 4: joking with his kids, I'm asking his wife questions and

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Speaker 4: they'll say, like, Tim, you're on in five minutes. Igh,

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Speaker 4: I'm good, Tim. Seriously, you're on in two minutes ago.

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Speaker 4: I'm good because I've already done twenty hours of studying

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Speaker 4: for a forty five minute speech. I'm not cramming for a.

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Speaker 2: Test, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So I have such a revelation of what I'm going

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Speaker 4: to do on that stage that it's almost like like this,

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Speaker 4: like I'm kind of excited.

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Speaker 2: I love that. When you're working with people, what would

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Speaker 2: you say is the number one thing that does hold

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Speaker 2: them back?

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Speaker 4: Believing in themselves? Truly? Truly? Not where or they have

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Speaker 4: said they believe in themselves to so many friends, but

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Speaker 4: behind closed doors, do they really believe in themselves? And

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Speaker 4: so I think that so many people, they hinder themselves

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Speaker 4: from moving forward because there's an imposter syndrome that hits

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Speaker 4: many Many people just block some of the good doors

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Speaker 4: that are open for them because either they don't think

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Speaker 4: they deserve it, or they just don't think that they're

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Speaker 4: equipped to step through. This is an interesting thing. So,

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Speaker 4: because I get to work with a lot of high

397
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Speaker 4: profile people, I would say to them, while we thought

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Speaker 4: you were amazing, did you ever feel like you kind

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Speaker 4: of sucked. And I use that word, and this one guy,

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Speaker 4: famous famous athlete, started laughing. He goes, only you would

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Speaker 4: add that.

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Speaker 5: He goes, I totally felt like I sucked, he said

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Speaker 5: a lot of the times, I said, so even as

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Speaker 5: we saw you as like just dominating, could not be stopped.

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Speaker 4: He goes, yeah, because I looked at my weaknesses and

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Speaker 4: I wasn't like a perfect father, and I wasn't a

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Speaker 4: perfect husband, and so I didn't just see myself on

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Speaker 4: the court. This was a basketball player. But is the

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Speaker 4: same thing with famous actors that say to me that

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Speaker 4: even at their height, whether they're they're still or not

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Speaker 4: there now, they would say, I still felt less than

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Speaker 4: which is interesting to me.

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Speaker 2: What is the like how do you get It's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: how do we believe in ourselves? Like what is the

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Speaker 2: what is it the tool or tip that you give

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Speaker 2: them to have that because or is that something that

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Speaker 2: you can't give them and they just have to find

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Speaker 2: it themselves.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, you could, you could one hundred percent work

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Speaker 4: through it, because I think too many times we're thinking

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Speaker 4: through the lens of our faults, our flaws, and our failures.

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Speaker 4: So even in an audition, like false flaws failures or

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Speaker 4: him soccer slash football false flaws failures. So it's important

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Speaker 4: that we don't look through that lens of false flaws failures,

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Speaker 4: but look through a different lens. And that takes time

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Speaker 4: to apply that lens and then learn how to look

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Speaker 4: through that lens in a different way. And part of

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Speaker 4: that is is that, hey, I may not be what

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Speaker 4: I want to be, but thank goodness, I'm not what

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Speaker 4: I used to be. Like I'm a work in progress.

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Speaker 4: I am better than I was. That's a good place

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Speaker 4: to be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. I mean I feel like I walk

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Speaker 2: into a lot of things and go, I'm good but

435
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 2: not good enough. Like even with auditions, like I get close,

436
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 2: I'm good, but I'm just not good enough. And it's

437
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 2: like that's the piece that it's like I haven't been

438
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 2: able to and I feel like that's I've carried that

439
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 2: with a lot of things and just it was a

440
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: good really but not good enough. I mean obviously now

441
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: I've the relationship piece that's different now, But it's just you.

442
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,439
Speaker 1: Know, Tim, what do you think the difference is between

443
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: And this goes back to your point as well, but

444
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: not believing in yourself at times, So you have people

445
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: who won't believe in themselves in certain situations, whether it's

446
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: on an addition or whether it's they're on set. And

447
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: then you have people who, certainly, in my realm of work,

448
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: how I feel is I believe in myself, but I've

449
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: got a problem with perfectionism. So therefore, when I when

450
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm critical of myself, it's not because I don't believe

451
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: in myself, it's because what could have been a bit

452
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: better or I could have done this instead. So what's

453
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 1: the difference between lack of belief and because they must

454
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: be they must be connected the lack of belief but

455
00:26:55,359 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 1: also that the ability to like the perfectism thing as

456
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: both a weaknesses is guess what I'm trying to say.

457
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 4: So what psychologists would say is we are minimized many

458
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 4: times by our mentors. So I think, all three of us,

459
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 4: we have to see who are our mentors like? What

460
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 4: were our parents like? What were our siblings like? What

461
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 4: were our teachers like? Were we minimized by religion or

462
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 4: maximized by religion? So a lot of people that I

463
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 4: work with, they were minimized by their mentors. So I

464
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 4: know grown men that are still afraid of their father

465
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 4: and the father's opinion, and the father is like so old.

466
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 4: And so these are things that we need to think about,

467
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 4: like what kind of response did we get when we

468
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 4: really did well when we were children?

469
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 2: Huh? Mine was just not good enough? There we go.

470
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 2: What was yours?

471
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,199
Speaker 1: It was a mix? Really, yeah, yeah, it was a

472
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: mix of getting the praise and.

473
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 2: Not getting the priests, which is yeah.

474
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 4: But for Janna, I mean, and for real, this gets

475
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 4: down deep into us. It's almost like if you're walking

476
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 4: through New York and it's cold and it gets so

477
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 4: cold it gets into your bones. This gets really into

478
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 4: our bones of this idea of not being good enough.

479
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 4: So then what do we have to do. We have

480
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 4: to unlearn what we've learned, and we have to change

481
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 4: our mindset. And so as we know, our mindset is

482
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 4: ours to set. So what I would do if I

483
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 4: was working with you one on one is I would

484
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 4: have you read books that really help you to change

485
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 4: your mindset, because that's going to change your perspective and

486
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 4: even how you look at your self.

487
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: Okay, can we get on that. Let's do that. You

488
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 2: now have two clients in this household, two bank customers,

489
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: one and two.

490
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 4: Two brilliant ones that in my opinion, and this is

491
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 4: not just fluff, I know when I when I feel it,

492
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 4: I remember meeting like different stars before they became stars,

493
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 4: like ones that if I named that everyone would know

494
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 4: them like I met them like at fifteen or seventeen

495
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 4: and you knew it, or even people at thirty five

496
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 4: when I knew they were going to the next level.

497
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 4: So I think that I think that life is speaking

498
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 4: to both of you that I call it. Your calling

499
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 4: is calling you. So there's a difference between a career

500
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 4: and a calling. The career is not what you guys

501
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 4: are looking for. You've done the career. Now you want

502
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 4: to step up into your calling, and that is to

503
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 4: live out your purpose and also through your purpose, help

504
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 4: change a whole lot of people's lives. So when you're

505
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 4: in that place, that's a beautiful place to be because

506
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 4: now we are doing and growing and living for more

507
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 4: than just ourselves.

508
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, has a celebrity ever come up to you, because

509
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: obviously you've worked with a lot and you just go,

510
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 2: I can't like, because it's your time. Your time is

511
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: very valuable, It's precious, and I know business is business,

512
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 2: but at the same time, or there are just people

513
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: that you're like, I just can't I can't even give

514
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: my energy to it, or do you think or are

515
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 2: you just like I want to help everybody in all No,

516
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 2: I say no.

517
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 4: And I've said no to probably three of our biggest

518
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 4: celebrities of all time that are still alive. Yeah, because

519
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 4: they were not honoring me. So it's like what your

520
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 4: husband's doing with the whole idea of being great on

521
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 4: the field and being a striker, if he's got like

522
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 4: some young guy who's not respecting what he knows, and

523
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 4: he knows that because of the way they're talking to

524
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 4: them or him or treating them. So three of our

525
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 4: biggest celebrities I've met with before, and they were making

526
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 4: it like I'll try it, I'll try it. Well you

527
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 4: helped him or her, I'll try it. And I said,

528
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 4: if it's just like trying it, like maybe there's somebody next,

529
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 4: I think we're missing something here. So no, there are

530
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 4: some people that I did not connect with, but I

531
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 4: will give it to one of the three. They came

532
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 4: back around when they're in a better place and said, damn, Tim,

533
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. I was so full of myself. I

534
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 4: couldn't see straight. Let's go at it. And I've been

535
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 4: working with that person now for three years.

536
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 2: I love that. And what is if there's one thing

537
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: there like this is kind of my mantra that kind

538
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,719
Speaker 2: of gets you through tough times or to staying positive,

539
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: believing in yourself. What's the what's the one thing that

540
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 2: you kind of have on repeat in your in your head?

541
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:53,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think this idea. In life. We all have

542
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 4: life interruptions. So we have momentums. We have these times

543
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 4: where there's momentum in our life and then there's a

544
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 4: life interruption. And interruption is like a knock on the

545
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 4: door that we did not expect, Okay, some kind of

546
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 4: a challenge. When most people have a life interruption that

547
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 4: I call a set back, they don't know how to

548
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 4: handle it. They sit in the setback, they settle in

549
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 4: the setback, and then the third one, they cement themselves

550
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 4: in the setback, so they constantly talk about what could

551
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 4: have been, So they settle, they cement. So the mantra

552
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 4: that I really have in my mind is that you know,

553
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: while I'm feeling the sting of a setback, life is

554
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 4: already preparing my comeback. So no matter what I'm going through,

555
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 4: I really have that in my heart and in my

556
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 4: mind while I'm feeling the sting of it, because I

557
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 4: have felt the sting of setbacks, but I believe that

558
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 4: life is already preparing my comeback even while I'm feeling

559
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 4: the sting of the setback.

560
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's probably my favorite thing. I remember you talking

561
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: about that, and I'm like, yes, like that is that

562
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 2: was That was one of the big things that I

563
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: took away from that from when I heard you talk

564
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 2: about that, because it's just so true and it's it's

565
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: so easy to sit in that setback. But I mean,

566
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: I always believe in such a big believer in like

567
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 2: next chapters and comebacks, and there's so much that you

568
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: learn that you can then grow and then be the

569
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: best version of yourself. So yeah, I'm all about everybody's comeback.

570
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: We all deserve it. We all have it coming too,

571
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 2: we just have to be open to receiving it.

572
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 4: Okay, So tell me something that you're excited about of

573
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:48,720
Speaker 4: getting older the forty to sixty phase. Okay, becoming fifty

574
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 4: fifty two, fifty five, fifty eight. Give me something you're

575
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 4: excited about in that phase of your life.

576
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: I would just say the first thing that came to

577
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 2: mind was more peaceful. I'm a little high strung at

578
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 2: times because I'm just grinding, grinding, grinding, and I hope

579
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 2: that this grinding and there'll be some massive winds that

580
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 2: I can just be more settled in peace and not

581
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 2: feel that I have to hustle and I got to support,

582
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: you know, I'm always have that fearful growing up with

583
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 2: a single mom having to work for everything, then having

584
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 2: that reality and then going, oh crap, I am the

585
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 2: sole provider. I have to, you know, for my kids

586
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 2: at that time. And then now you know, you know,

587
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: we're obviously married, so I don't feel that pressure as much,

588
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 2: but I still it's in my bones. It's been there

589
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,439
Speaker 2: since my mom was working three jobs. So I hope

590
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,720
Speaker 2: that's what I would like that piece.

591
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 4: But that's a beautiful thought, right, that's a beautiful thought.

592
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 4: I would say that is the gift that I have

593
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 4: given the last five years of my life is peace.

594
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 4: In fact, one of my friends who lives in Nashville,

595
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 4: who is an entertainer, he said to me one day,

596
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 4: he says, Tim, are you're on medication? And I go, no,

597
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 4: I go, why do you ask? He says, you're so calm,

598
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 4: it's almost weird. I said, it's the strangest thing. I said,

599
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 4: I just have so much peace in my life. And

600
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 4: to be honest with you, the piece that is in

601
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 4: my life now. For a while, it was awkward, it

602
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 4: felt strange, it felt different, and I was almost waiting

603
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 4: for it to leave me. But I found ways to

604
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 4: have it remain. But to be at peace is an

605
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 4: amazing place to be. Peace does not mean perfection, but

606
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 4: it is a state of mind, in a state of

607
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 4: your spirit that can be amazing.

608
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with that, Bibe. What about you.

609
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: There's so many things that need to be so many

610
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 1: things that need to be achieved that you know, as

611
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: to a light, we can never set at peace for

612
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: a second. Even when we watch a TV show, there's

613
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: guilt because we shouldn't be watching this need to be

614
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: more productive. So I think the piece part of it

615
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 1: is something that we've always discussed.

616
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 2: I don't wear my R ring anymore because it tells

617
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 2: me I'm stressed twenty four to seven, so I've ditched that.

618
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think the next few years will

619
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: still be will be grinding, and we'll be building things

620
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: with the view to fifty two or fifty three, fifty four,

621
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: whatever it is, or we can take a step back

622
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: and trust the fact that we can take two or

623
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: three days off not have to worry about things. Or

624
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 1: when you don't get the role that you might have

625
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: hoped for, your fine with it because you know you'll

626
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: get the next one. So I think the piece say

627
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: that it is important for me as well. I think

628
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 1: where I see myself as an elevated, more composed, more

629
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: digitalized version of what I am now, a version that

630
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:21,720
Speaker 1: people know better. Therefore I'll know myself better, So therefore

631
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: I'll be more peace within our family life, for family dynamic,

632
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: but also in our careers as well.

633
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 4: This is a good discussion. It's almost like Merrital.

634
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: Counseling Tim, we should just put you out retainer.

635
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 4: No, but because I like this for him. But I

636
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 4: think that as I'm talking to both you at the

637
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 4: same time and everyone else is watching us, which is

638
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 4: a lot of people, is that for Alan's life. He's

639
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 4: really there's a time right here where you really do

640
00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 4: need to strike like there are open doors you right right,

641
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 4: you need to just like bam, hit it. I say

642
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 4: that you know when you when you get that break through,

643
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 4: it's a breakthrough. It's not a break sit, it's a

644
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 4: break through. So there's a there's an open door, so

645
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 4: he's got to go after it. But that's only part

646
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,759
Speaker 4: of his day. There's other parts of his day. If

647
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 4: you have one hundred percent tile, then we need a

648
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,959
Speaker 4: couple pieces of that pie of the day where he

649
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 4: is still, where he's in the moment, where he's okay

650
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 4: to be in the moment, but when he's working, he

651
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 4: works bam bam bam, gets it done. And then when

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00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,879
Speaker 4: we take off, we we take off and we're very

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00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 4: Eckard Toll. We're in the power of now, fully present,

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00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 4: fully feeling, and fully alive.

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Speaker 2: I love that you've a masterclass out right now? Is

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00:39:59,440 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: that right?

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00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah?

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00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 2: Yes, tell tell us everything where our listeners can just

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00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 2: have a little piece of you.

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00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 4: I think that I think the best place is timstory

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00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 4: dot com. So that's s t R e y dot

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00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 4: com shows what we do. I still executive coach companies,

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00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,959
Speaker 4: work with some people one on one and then on

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Speaker 4: Instagram it's Tim's Story Official. And if you're interested in

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00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 4: working with me in one way or another, just DM

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00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 4: me and we can chat and see if there's a fit.

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Speaker 4: But it's a privilege to get to know both of

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00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 4: you more and I think we're all going to learn

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00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 4: from each other. And that's the beauty of life.

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Speaker 2: It's it's our it's our honor, for sure. We're so yeah,

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00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 2: we're so grateful that you are in our life and

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00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 2: just thank you for everything, and we cannot wait to

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00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 2: see you soon. But yeah, we love you so thank

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00:40:58,920 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 2: you for coming on today.

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Speaker 4: Thanks Tim, thank you You're the best.

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Speaker 3: I have a great d