Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Chum from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central and
Speaker 2: Actually Live, Actually Special Special before the Daily.
Speaker 1: Show presents Indecision.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four Election Night in America.
Speaker 1: Nothing we can do about it.
Speaker 2: Now, here's your host songs doom, looking at it, coun.
Speaker 1: That crowd is hell.
Speaker 3: Turn up, everybody, Welcome to the diligent mind, even Junge.
Speaker 4: That is the sound of a crowd that does not
Speaker 4: have access to a television set and has no idea
Speaker 4: what's happening.
Speaker 1: Out there in the world.
Speaker 4: My name is jonest It it is election day and
Speaker 4: we're coming to you live court. Find My solemn vow
Speaker 4: to you is this, we are not leaving here until
Speaker 4: this election is over. Although obviously Family Guys starts at midnight.
Speaker 4: We do not yet have a projected winner.
Speaker 1: At this time.
Speaker 4: But as is my custom an election night, I keep
Speaker 4: the sound off and I just go and watch.
Speaker 1: To see how we're doing with it. Off.
Speaker 4: Let's go over to MSNBC and see there, Oh there,
Speaker 4: their faces look like someone said their sponsorship deal with
Speaker 4: Warby Parker is over. And then over at Fox, Let's
Speaker 4: take a quick look over, Oh, look at that it
Speaker 4: looks like their dad got the court to up the
Speaker 4: dui charges.
Speaker 1: So what does that mean?
Speaker 4: But we've got full team coverage tonight. We've got Grace
Speaker 4: Coochman and Harris headquarterers.
Speaker 1: We've got Troy a lot of at Trump headquarters.
Speaker 4: We've got Jordan's Klepper in the swing state of Pennsylvania. First,
Speaker 4: we're gonna go to Troy and Grace. Troy, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: start with you, Troy at Trump headquarters.
Speaker 1: But what are you wearing, Troy?
Speaker 5: It's a garbage bag. Yeah, we have to wear them
Speaker 5: to prove that we're not garbage. It doesn't make a
Speaker 5: lot of sense. A lot of stuff doesn't make sense here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Grace here at Kamala Harris campaign headquarters.
Speaker 1: What is the mood there?
Speaker 6: It's tense, John, But they're still doing everything they can.
Speaker 4: They're throwing every last celebrity up on stage, although they
Speaker 4: are starting to run out of celebrities.
Speaker 1: Well, who's on stage now? Yeah?
Speaker 6: So they just had on carrot Top Stepdad.
Speaker 7: And Solange Solange Knowles, No, just a guy named Solange.
Speaker 5: The mood here is also very tense, John, People are
Speaker 5: really sick of all the positive signs. And just want
Speaker 5: to find out the results so they can start the insurrection.
Speaker 1: Wait. Trump seems to be doing well, so yeah, they.
Speaker 5: Don't care win or lose. These people are going to
Speaker 5: take a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk again. They've been
Speaker 5: eating fiber bars for twelve hours. They are Randy, thank you, Troy,
Speaker 5: Troy A.
Speaker 4: Watten and Greg Schoolish ran everybody that's.
Speaker 1: That's oh, look at that. But the great's out of
Speaker 1: stage manager with her out there live baby.
Speaker 4: Out there at the headquarters in a I don't know
Speaker 4: where her headquarters are, but she was there.
Speaker 1: Live. Now.
Speaker 4: Look, I know a lot of people out there feeling anxious.
Speaker 4: I want to assure you that that is very good
Speaker 4: for our ratings.
Speaker 1: So keep up good work out there.
Speaker 4: Do not remove your eyes from the TV at all
Speaker 4: costs for more Swingston analysis. So we're gonna go live
Speaker 4: to Pennsylvania. Jordan Klepper is out there.
Speaker 1: Jordan all good to seeing my man now.
Speaker 4: Jordan's you have been on the ground in Pennsylvania for
Speaker 4: almost a year.
Speaker 8: Thanks John. I moved here about a year ago, and
Speaker 8: I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed getting to
Speaker 8: know these hard working sult of the earth, common sense folk,
Speaker 8: they're fracking awesome.
Speaker 4: Well, now that the election is over, it's probably gonna
Speaker 4: be hard to say goodbye to your found family out there.
Speaker 8: Sure as John, Wait, I'm sorry, you just say it's over,
Speaker 8: like the assignment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, Jordan, the election, I mean, this is it's
Speaker 4: holds have clothes. Obviously we're going to look at the
Speaker 4: results coming in from Pennsylvania, But how do you make
Speaker 4: sense of what we're seeing tonight out of Pennsylvania?
Speaker 8: Absolutely, John, Not only in Pennsylvania a place of historical significance,
Speaker 8: it's also beautiful, the people, the energy of the foliage.
Speaker 8: It's going to be hard to say goodbye.
Speaker 4: What issues do you think really move the needle for
Speaker 4: voters out there? I mean, obviously had been living amongst
Speaker 4: them for a long time. Was there anything that you
Speaker 4: can put your finger on?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 8: God, so many things? The Liberty Bell, the Betsy Ross Museum,
Speaker 8: Dennysburg is here, right, what's the white block a cream cheese?
Speaker 8: Such a rich culture.
Speaker 1: I may never leave Dexic for no, Jordan.
Speaker 4: We all know Pennsylvania, though, could ultimately decide this election,
Speaker 4: and it has not been called yet.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of votes downstate? This stuff to go.
Speaker 4: Has your experience been that Pennsylvania representative of our nation's
Speaker 4: voters as a whole?
Speaker 1: In some ways?
Speaker 8: You have two major cities book handing in a rural population.
Speaker 8: It's a fascinating juxtaposition, and I feel privileged to be
Speaker 8: able to witness at first hand.
Speaker 1: Stubout it, pally, you know what, this is too slow?
Speaker 8: I'm gonna take Pennsylvania's voted public transportation.
Speaker 4: Oh all right, that seems like a carriage, but Jordan's.
Speaker 4: Since Pennsylvania is a battleground state, residents there have been
Speaker 4: bombarded by texts and emails and commercials and door knocking.
Speaker 4: Do you think to get out the vote effort worked
Speaker 4: or has it paradoxically given residents and negative feeling about
Speaker 4: elections in general.
Speaker 1: Oh no, not at all.
Speaker 8: I mean it wasn't a lot, sure, but it was
Speaker 8: necessary to uphold democracy.
Speaker 1: I personally didn't mind it one bit.
Speaker 4: Jordan, Are you suggesting public transportation in Pennsylvani is a
Speaker 4: flying cheese steak?
Speaker 8: You are such an elitist.
Speaker 4: I apologize, and I hate to ask you this, but
Speaker 4: I was hoping while you were there, and I should
Speaker 4: have told you this earlier.
Speaker 1: Could you pick up some Hershey chocolates for me?
Speaker 8: I mean, how about these these eminems I got from
Speaker 8: Penn station.
Speaker 1: John, Welcome home, Jordan's clap to do? Did you see
Speaker 1: you again? Jordan Clipper? Everybody? Oh, I'll be right back
Speaker 1: with the Senator Pennsylvamia. They okay, these people don't care.
Speaker 4: They're hopped up on the goofballs or whatever it is
Speaker 4: they got.
Speaker 1: They don't care. They're here to party. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: the DAILI show. We do have some results. I want
Speaker 1: to get to.
Speaker 4: There's one in particular that is close to my heart.
Speaker 4: I want to We're ready to call it New Jersey,
Speaker 4: the state of New Jersey. We're gonna call it for
Speaker 4: at this time.
Speaker 1: Kamala Harris, Kamala.
Speaker 4: Harris, Kamala Harris wins New Jersey.
Speaker 1: Is very interesting. She gets it looks like fifty three
Speaker 1: percent of the vote.
Speaker 4: She gets fourteen electoral votes, and Donald Trump gets Studatts,
Speaker 4: which Scots, by the way, is an official number in
Speaker 4: New Jersey, along with Bupkis, which is also the name
Speaker 4: of a law firm I use out there.
Speaker 1: Call us if you're in an accident. We'll get you.
Speaker 4: Stu got Zimbukis. I do have something doing ounce very quickly.
Speaker 4: We were going to join Senator Fetterman in Pennsylvania. He
Speaker 4: is unable to join us. But because we are a
Speaker 4: professional and venerated news show, it's not like I just
Speaker 4: have to sit here with nobody to talk to or
Speaker 4: nothing to do, just because somebody said thirty seconds before
Speaker 4: we were supposed to have him.
Speaker 1: As a guest.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm not doing that. And hey, wait, do you
Speaker 9: get those sweatshirts those hoodies?
Speaker 4: So we do have another guest, by the way, and
Speaker 4: we're delighted that she is going to be joining us.
Speaker 4: My first guest joining us from Phoenix. She is Arizona's
Speaker 4: Democratic governor, Katie Hobbs. Welcome Katie Hobbs of the program. Hello,
Speaker 4: Katie Hubbs. Unfortunately, because I have trouble pivoting, I'm only
Speaker 4: going to ask you questions about Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: I hope that's okay.
Speaker 4: We're going to have federment on how are things going
Speaker 4: out in Arizona? Are the polls just closing out there?
Speaker 4: Have they not closed yet?
Speaker 10: Polls close at seven and we are just seeing the
Speaker 10: first results. What we know is it's going to be
Speaker 10: a long night here, probably along several days as we're
Speaker 10: counting the results of the votes.
Speaker 4: Has everything gone relatively smoothly? Arizona has, you know, obviously
Speaker 4: had a reputation for some troubles within the electoral system,
Speaker 4: but you guys have run it really well. The Cybern
Speaker 4: Ninjas did a bunch of looks at you're thinking, found nothing.
Speaker 4: Everything runs very smoothly. Have you found tonight ran smoothly?
Speaker 6: You know all those problems are fake news?
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 10: Overall, to me was a very good day. We heard
Speaker 10: that people had great experiences. There were long lines. Part
Speaker 10: of that is because of our very long ballot that
Speaker 10: we had, But as far as we know, the problems
Speaker 10: were addressed. We took quick action and Arizonaan's got to
Speaker 10: make sure their voices were heard.
Speaker 6: Today.
Speaker 4: Now you do have a long ballot, I think in
Speaker 4: Arizona there are I think ten referendums or something along
Speaker 4: those lines. The ballot was a couple of pages.
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, it was four pages.
Speaker 10: And look IV towed a record two hundred and sixteen
Speaker 10: bills in my first twos as governor, and the legislature
Speaker 10: did an end run and sent half.
Speaker 6: Of those to the ballot.
Speaker 10: Which is part of why it was so long, which
Speaker 10: is certainly a burden on voters that have to wait
Speaker 10: in line for a long time to vote that ballot.
Speaker 4: Now, did you just say you vetoed two hundred and
Speaker 4: sixteen bills.
Speaker 10: Yes, we have a legislature that is run by literal
Speaker 10: insurrectionists and indicted fake electors, and they didn't get the
Speaker 10: message that voters wanted sanity over chaos, and so they
Speaker 10: kept sending extreme measures that I had to veto.
Speaker 6: But here's the good news about our ballot.
Speaker 10: In addition to all the garbage that the legislature sent,
Speaker 10: we also had the chance to vote on a ballot
Speaker 10: measure to enshrine abortion in Arcita's constitution. Right now, the
Speaker 10: results of that are looking very good. So I'm optimistic
Speaker 10: about that passing, and that's being able to restore our
Speaker 10: rights here in Arizona.
Speaker 1: I didn't catch most of that.
Speaker 4: Because as soon as you said you were enshrining reproductive rights,
Speaker 4: the crowd went crazy, and oh my god, they're taking
Speaker 4: their clothes off.
Speaker 1: This is just guys, you're in your.
Speaker 4: In terms of the races that we don't hear as
Speaker 4: much about the Senate race that is out there. Do
Speaker 4: you have any insight in what's going to happen in
Speaker 4: Gayaga versus Lake?
Speaker 1: And I know that she hasn't yet.
Speaker 4: Well, I conceded the race for governor with you, so
Speaker 4: I can't even imagine what's.
Speaker 1: Going to happen with that.
Speaker 10: Yeah, No, I mean I don't know how she's going
Speaker 10: to be both governor and senator. She still is contesting
Speaker 10: that the results of twenty twenty two. But look, I
Speaker 10: have confidence in Arizona voters that they are once again
Speaker 10: going to put sanity over chaos, just like they did
Speaker 10: in twenty twenty two. I won that race by half
Speaker 10: a percent, and that half a percent meant that I
Speaker 10: could veto those two hundred and sixteen bills, that I
Speaker 10: could repeal our States eighteen sixty four abortion band, which
Speaker 10: Kerrie Lake has said was great.
Speaker 6: She is Chump's chief.
Speaker 10: Election denier in Arizona, and I can't imagine her in
Speaker 10: charge right now with our democracy on the line. And
Speaker 10: I think that voters are going to end her chaos
Speaker 10: ones and for all and choose sandy be over chaos again.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic. Now you mentioned.
Speaker 4: That you've got a good feeling about that referendum. Is
Speaker 4: there anything you can tell us about the presidential race?
Speaker 4: Are you hearing good turnout in Democratic strongholds? Are you
Speaker 4: hearing anything that might give an audience here? And it
Speaker 4: is five in the morning in New York, I don't
Speaker 4: know if you do that. Is there anything that you
Speaker 4: could give that might tell them there's a reason.
Speaker 1: To stay up.
Speaker 10: Well, we're not going to get another round of results
Speaker 10: until eleven o'clock tonight, Arizona.
Speaker 6: Time, so we won't know tonight. And what we do
Speaker 6: know is that it's going to be close.
Speaker 10: And that is the prediction I've made all along, and
Speaker 10: I think that prediction will hold right well.
Speaker 4: Governor Hobbes, we thank you so much for taking the time.
Speaker 4: Give anything you want to add about Pennsylvania. We're happy
Speaker 4: to hear it.
Speaker 1: Nothing.
Speaker 10: I'm sorry that I'm sorry Senator Fetterman couldn't make it
Speaker 10: happy to fill his slot. And Pennsylvania is going to
Speaker 10: be close to.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Governor Tad you hob of Arizona.
Speaker 4: We're going to take you pretty quick and we'll be
Speaker 4: right back after this.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Governor what about to the barely show?
Speaker 1: You know, if I may say, and then I speak
Speaker 1: to the answer.
Speaker 4: There may be nothing more gratifying to a host of
Speaker 4: a program than in the commercial break hearing maybe the
Speaker 4: first three notes of Ozzy Osbourne and having the entire
Speaker 4: audience in unison, no preparation, no training, go really and
Speaker 4: isn't that what makes us all Americans? We do have
Speaker 4: one other quick result to just announce in the race
Speaker 4: to be my best friend between Senator Fetterman and Governor
Speaker 4: Katie Hobbes. Governor Katie Hobbes wins by.
Speaker 1: A Jillian.
Speaker 4: And we're glasses buddies, me and the Governor. Obviously, we're
Speaker 4: going to be doing election results and analysis all night
Speaker 4: long because we're a real show. So let's see what's
Speaker 4: in store for us at the Daily Show Election Center.
Speaker 1: And Michael Costa, Michael Conta, thank you, John. I'd to
Speaker 1: see you. John.
Speaker 11: I've got my jacket off and my sleeves rolled up,
Speaker 11: which tells you I'm doing real work today.
Speaker 1: I'm not half assident like usual, and we've.
Speaker 11: Got all sorts of high tech tools to visualize tonight's
Speaker 11: results in real time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: They put a lot of f and work into that
Speaker 4: election center, kind of the neural center of our coverage.
Speaker 4: You got something like the New York Times needle that
Speaker 4: tells us who's winning.
Speaker 11: John, all right, there are so many things more to
Speaker 11: keep track of that are better than who's winning, like
Speaker 11: voter fraud, which we track through our patented juliometer. All right, Now,
Speaker 11: if a few dead people start voting, we see the drip.
Speaker 11: I say, busloads of non citizens voting in Philadelphia.
Speaker 1: Well, now it's really coming down.
Speaker 11: I say, oh, no, Chinese bamboo ballots all through the
Speaker 11: brew wall. Now, John, if this drips down into his penis,
Speaker 11: we're in trouble.
Speaker 1: That's okay. I don't need to think about that.
Speaker 4: Michael, Well, how are we at least tracking the results
Speaker 4: for Vice President Harris?
Speaker 1: Okay? Well, for that, we have the commelometer. What does
Speaker 1: that do well? Nothing, It's just fun.
Speaker 11: To say, comlometer, comlometer. Yes, if she's doing well, we
Speaker 11: could add some more laws, like oh, big result of
Speaker 11: Wisconsin according to the kamalalala lolometer.
Speaker 1: It's so fun.
Speaker 11: John, let's say it together on three ready, one two
Speaker 11: three comlometer.
Speaker 1: You didn't say it. That's okay, more for me. All right,
Speaker 1: let's just get to the map.
Speaker 11: Yeah, wee Okay, the map, the crown jewel in the
Speaker 11: vote center.
Speaker 4: All right, so what that's what's happening on the map, John,
Speaker 4: I'm so glad you asked.
Speaker 11: This is great tech job, brand new for this election cycle.
Speaker 11: The way it works is I can select let's say,
Speaker 11: Arkansas and Montana, and then I press this button here
Speaker 11: and look, I can make him kiss.
Speaker 1: That's Michael. That's so stupid. Why because it's gay?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 11: John, John, you're embarrassing yourself.
Speaker 4: Jack, You're Michael costs to everybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it doesn't even make any sense. That doesn't.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you. It really did look like
Speaker 1: they were kissing. Obviously.
Speaker 4: Look, it's been a long road to the election. To
Speaker 4: get a better sense of our national mood, we turned
Speaker 4: to DESI Light it with analysis, with analysis of all
Speaker 4: the results that we've seen so far tonight, Thanks John. Wow,
Speaker 4: we don't okay, but we don't have all the results
Speaker 4: in so well.
Speaker 6: So far, we have the S and the C and
Speaker 6: the K and the old y'all. So I'm gonna go
Speaker 6: out on a limb and project a U and focal.
Speaker 1: There's still information to come in. Oo, it's too close
Speaker 1: to come Comala's up in Iowa.
Speaker 10: I don't want to hear another Polster or James Carvel
Speaker 10: from some subterranean basement as Lsu Tiger's hat going.
Speaker 6: I don't see how she can lose. Now, let me
Speaker 6: just finish my gun bow and.
Speaker 1: We're gonna check back in on your daisy.
Speaker 10: Well, you better make it quick because I'm going to
Speaker 10: get started on my project twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: To Kevin body Hold, I go through this, don't go away?
Speaker 3: What wait if you kind of And welcome back to
Speaker 3: Election Night twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: It's the Daily Show.
Speaker 4: Results are rolling and slowly because it's very hard for
Speaker 4: me to see CNN in the corner of the thing.
Speaker 1: But we do have a Maryland Senate race result to report.
Speaker 4: Angela also Brooks, the Democrat, has defeated Larry Hogan. I
Speaker 4: did not like seeing that. That is gonna stick with
Speaker 4: me as it goes. But we are obviously digging to
Speaker 4: the results to find some that you like, because you
Speaker 4: were nice enough to come here, and I'm just gonna
Speaker 4: come here, are just shit all over you.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 12: So Maryland said it, looking on look at looking on
Speaker 12: the little glass half fool.
Speaker 1: Down there now.
Speaker 4: As many of you seen, one of the great things
Speaker 4: about this election season has been the assemblage of all
Speaker 4: these voter panels.
Speaker 1: We've done one more tonight.
Speaker 4: We're gonna check in now, Ronnie Chang has assembled a
Speaker 4: voter who's with them?
Speaker 1: Now, Ronnie, what have you got for us tonight? Yes?
Speaker 7: John, During this election, nobody has gotten more attention than
Speaker 7: the people right next to me. I'm talking about undecided
Speaker 7: swing state voters. They could be the key factor in
Speaker 7: who wins this race for president.
Speaker 4: Well, Ronnie, there's no question. I mean, we have followed
Speaker 4: these undecided voters the entire campaign.
Speaker 1: So who did they ultimately choose? No One?
Speaker 7: Yet they're still undecided, Ronnie.
Speaker 1: The polls have closed. They're they they can't vote him
Speaker 1: to tell me.
Speaker 7: Okay, listen, John, these people have nowhere else to go. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 7: the undecided voters that are too stupid to live independently.
Speaker 1: Hey, you guys are great, by the way. You are
Speaker 1: so important to the process.
Speaker 7: What matters to you most, the economy, the border, abortion,
Speaker 7: It's so important for us.
Speaker 1: To get out of the bubble and talk.
Speaker 7: To hard working, real American people, John, These people are
Speaker 7: gonna die on the street.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: They have no jobs, no family, no homes.
Speaker 1: But they have no homes. Oh no, they've been.
Speaker 7: Living in focused groups studios for eight months.
Speaker 1: They're broken.
Speaker 7: Look I'll show you hey there, what do you think
Speaker 7: of the economy?
Speaker 1: I'm cold? Okay?
Speaker 13: Uh?
Speaker 4: And and you can I have a fruit snack?
Speaker 1: Great insight, guys, John.
Speaker 4: We have to keep them here.
Speaker 7: They'll be eaten by wild animals.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, we'll check back in with you later. Ronnie,
Speaker 1: Ronnie Chang. Everybody that's a side. What is going to
Speaker 1: happen to all.
Speaker 4: Those undecided tiers when we come back, Michigan's Lieutenant Governor
Speaker 4: Garland Gilchris the second we'll be joining us.
Speaker 1: Still go west, We'll do that. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: back to the Daily Chick Live Election Special Night.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna hold on. I'm getting resild else. Uh, it's
Speaker 4: down to it appears to be down to the blue
Speaker 4: walled states.
Speaker 1: They're not.
Speaker 4: They haven't been called yet. But we do have some
Speaker 4: good news that we've found here.
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 4: District of Columbia is being called for Kamala Harris.
Speaker 1: Ladies in Canada, pop as a voter.
Speaker 4: And to be clear, that was through voting, not insurrection.
Speaker 4: That was voting, and obviously uh.
Speaker 1: Doesn't count. But still.
Speaker 4: Fuck uh you know what, let me get We're gonna
Speaker 4: check back in with Michael Costs in the election center.
Speaker 1: Michael, uh, talk to me now, please. I want to
Speaker 1: ask you, Michael.
Speaker 4: Obviously we're in a bit of a holding pattern right now.
Speaker 4: How are things looking for you in the data center.
Speaker 11: Well, I'm looking great, John, And as you can see,
Speaker 11: my sleeves are now almost one hundred percent rolled up.
Speaker 11: Now that's a change of nineteen inches on the sleavometer
Speaker 11: just since earlier in the program. It really shows you
Speaker 11: how hard I'm working tonight, working at what my frenetic energy, John,
Speaker 11: it's off the charts.
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly likable.
Speaker 11: Oh wait, wait, looks like we might be getting in
Speaker 11: some absentee by sets.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Michael Kosta, everybody, We're gonna We're gonna move on.
Speaker 4: We have another guest I want to bring in, the
Speaker 4: Lieutenant Governor of Michigan, Garland Gilchris.
Speaker 1: The second I was joining us from Detroit. Sure, delighted
Speaker 1: to see you tonight. How are you, my friend? I'm excited.
Speaker 14: Look We've built such an amazing effort here in the
Speaker 14: state of Michigan, contacted three million voters just in the
Speaker 14: last weekend, and so we're gonna win.
Speaker 1: You're so you're feeling very positive.
Speaker 14: Look, I'm confident in the work that we've built, you know.
Speaker 14: I mean, Look, the volunteer effort at Michigan is the
Speaker 14: biggest one we've ever seen. And you know, this is
Speaker 14: about putting together the pieces of the puzzle for victory.
Speaker 14: And look, I'm an engineer, John, I'm a problem solver
Speaker 14: and know how to put things together and make systems
Speaker 14: work for people. And we've built the kind of apparatus
Speaker 14: we need to win in Michigan, like the one that
Speaker 14: Carrett Me and Governor Gretcha Whitman a reelection in twenty
Speaker 14: twenty two that had the biggest volunteer effort that delivered
Speaker 14: reproductive freedom for every Michigan or in our state constitution.
Speaker 14: And that's the same kind of effort that it's been
Speaker 14: now the foundation for we've built here in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: Well, I got to tell you something, sir, On a
Speaker 4: night where I'm looking for some positivity and some good news,
Speaker 4: you have brought it.
Speaker 1: My friend you have, you have brought it to me.
Speaker 1: You've give him my heart lip. It made me feel good. Uh,
Speaker 1: I want to ask you, how is this even close?
Speaker 1: In Michigan?
Speaker 4: Donald Trump went to Detroit and said this place is
Speaker 4: a whole. Donald Trump called for a ban on all
Speaker 4: Muslims traveling to America and then goes to Dearborn and
Speaker 4: he's getting big votes in the the Arab American.
Speaker 1: Community, all these different things he's he's he's.
Speaker 4: Partnered with Elon Musk, who might be one of the
Speaker 4: bigger threats to Detroit's automaking industry. How is this so close?
Speaker 14: Well, let's take a deep breath. You know, this stuff
Speaker 14: is wherever Neils is still coming in and just take
Speaker 14: a sip of water, and we're gonna We're gonna be okay.
Speaker 14: But look, I'm a Detroiter, like I was offended by
Speaker 14: by what Donald Trump said about me as a Detroit
Speaker 14: voter my wife when they tried to call for a
Speaker 14: riot to stop the vote counting in twenty twenty. He
Speaker 14: was talking about my wife's vote, my neighbors vote, my vote.
Speaker 14: So I took that very personally, and so did people
Speaker 14: across the city of Detroit. So that is why the
Speaker 14: organizing effort has been so inspiring to see people stepping
Speaker 14: up to see, you know, black men, you know, don't
Speaker 14: believe the hype that you've seen from people running and
Speaker 14: trying to find black men who were head tant. I've
Speaker 14: been talking to black men all across the state Michigan,
Speaker 14: in Detroit and Flint and Sagging on Grand Rapids, all
Speaker 14: across our state. And what I'm hearing from them is
Speaker 14: they're ready to be part of the future. And they
Speaker 14: don't want a president who insults them. They don't want
Speaker 14: a president who can't see their potential success. They don't
Speaker 14: want a pessimistic patriot. They want an optimistic patriot.
Speaker 1: And that's what we have.
Speaker 14: And Kamala Harris and Tim Wallas and Alyssa Slock going
Speaker 14: to be our next United States Senator. So that's the
Speaker 14: team that we've build in Michigan and I'm proud to
Speaker 14: be part of it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's fantastic.
Speaker 4: So is there anyway And I say this to you
Speaker 4: sure with all great respect, can you go to build
Speaker 4: a bear.
Speaker 1: And record your voice.
Speaker 4: And then put your in the little heart and then
Speaker 4: put it in the bear and then mail it to
Speaker 4: me because I would like before I go to bed
Speaker 4: every night, I just want to press that little paw
Speaker 4: in here.
Speaker 1: They're ready to be part of the future.
Speaker 4: They don't want people that exelt them. It's very inspiring, sir.
Speaker 4: Are you seeing off the charts participation in Michigan today
Speaker 4: and this evening?
Speaker 14: Well, I saw off the charts participation before then. More
Speaker 14: than three million people voted early in person or voting
Speaker 14: on an assentee ballot in Michigan. And I think people
Speaker 14: who voted before election day were super excited to vote.
Speaker 14: And the enthusiasm has been on our side since Kamala
Speaker 14: Harris ascended to how Far ticket.
Speaker 1: So again, I'm proud.
Speaker 14: Of the work that we've done and the movement that
Speaker 14: we've built.
Speaker 7: It.
Speaker 14: It's been my experience that when we built these kind
Speaker 14: of coalitions, and look, I know something about building coalitions. Also,
Speaker 14: I John, I would never be here talking to you.
Speaker 14: So we know how to win in the state of Michigan,
Speaker 14: and that's what's going to get it done. And I
Speaker 14: do believe that as Michigan goes, so we'll go the country.
Speaker 14: Just like the way that you know, we built industries
Speaker 14: in Michigan that have changed the country and changed the world.
Speaker 14: We can build electoral winning coalitions that change the country
Speaker 14: and change the world too. So as long as you
Speaker 14: get a Michigan tattoo on that building beer that we
Speaker 14: could talk about it.
Speaker 1: Do I have to get a Michigan tattoo?
Speaker 7: Is that?
Speaker 4: What the is that what the deal is going to
Speaker 4: come down to? Sarah very much, I'm Michigan tattoo now?
Speaker 4: Is this in terms of being in Michigan right?
Speaker 1: It really is.
Speaker 4: It's one of those Bell Weather states in the photograph
Speaker 4: because the population there is incredibly It's really one of
Speaker 4: the more diverse in the state. Are you seeing your
Speaker 4: message permeating throughout the state? Or is this really another
Speaker 4: example of for the rural areas are the rural areas
Speaker 4: and those are red. But if we can get enough
Speaker 4: turnout in the urban areas, we've got a chance to
Speaker 4: counteract that.
Speaker 1: Or are you seeing that permeate throughout the whole state?
Speaker 15: You know?
Speaker 14: I think about it like this, like the reason that
Speaker 14: I've had the opportunity to serve is because I come
Speaker 14: from a community of people who believed in me. And
Speaker 14: whether you live in a big city or a suburb,
Speaker 14: or you live in a rural community, you know, people
Speaker 14: wrapping their arms around you and telling you that you
Speaker 14: have the chance to be amazing and to really do
Speaker 14: amazing things in the future. That's what's oftenly builds success.
Speaker 14: And our message as Democrats is about believing in Michigan ors.
Speaker 14: I mean, look, Donald Trump has come to Michigan and
Speaker 14: said that we can't win the electric vehicle race. He
Speaker 14: said that we can't and Pete on clean energy, he
Speaker 14: says that China is gonna beat America. Like it is
Speaker 14: so pessimistic and so just about losing because he's a loser.
Speaker 1: But instead, we need.
Speaker 14: To believe in people who believe in our ability to win,
Speaker 14: to win the future, to win in manufacturing, to win
Speaker 14: in technology, and as a tech entrepreneur like I want
Speaker 14: to see more of that coming from the state of Michigan.
Speaker 14: And frankly, that's what Kamala Harris has been about.
Speaker 1: So you know, I'm.
Speaker 14: Excited again, and I think the message about optimism, about
Speaker 14: being hopeful about the future, about saying that yeah, we
Speaker 14: can do big things, we can invent the things that
Speaker 14: are going to change the world and win the future,
Speaker 14: and that Michigan has that in our past so to
Speaker 14: come here and insult us and to say that we're
Speaker 14: not capable of it, it's offensive. And so I can't
Speaker 14: wait to send Donald Trump home for good.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you.
Speaker 4: You have been an absolute bright light and breadth of
Speaker 4: fresh air on this evening and I truly appreciate you
Speaker 4: spending the time where the And again this isn't gonna
Speaker 4: mean anything to you. You have jumped to the best
Speaker 4: friend rankings for me. Now, it was, and I'm gonna
Speaker 4: explain this very quickly, and you don't have to understand it.
Speaker 4: Senator Fetterman and Governor Katie Hobbs were vying for best friend.
Speaker 4: Katie Hobbs wanted to wash outan it was.
Speaker 1: He wasn't even on the ballet. Guess who's manu? Guess
Speaker 1: who's maneu? Lieutell me.
Speaker 3: Governor Garland gil Christ the second got speed, sir, thank
Speaker 3: you for joining us.
Speaker 1: Let me right back after this.
Speaker 3: He is a gentleman.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 4: It's our live election special. I've got another batch of
Speaker 4: results for you. A batch is really a strong word.
Speaker 4: I have one result for you, and please understand this
Speaker 4: if you're watching at home, and I'm only giving results
Speaker 4: of places I can drive to that are so we
Speaker 4: do have the results for New York.
Speaker 1: Kamala Harris has won New York over Donald Trump.
Speaker 4: Decisive has won twenty eight electoral Oh dear God, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I've just heard and I didn't even know this was possible.
Speaker 4: The New York giants have fumbled it and now the
Speaker 4: delegates are back in the hands of Donald Trump. I
Speaker 4: don't know how that happened, but that's what That's what
Speaker 4: they told me in the old, in the old, in
Speaker 4: the old ear hole, which you can't really see. It's
Speaker 4: a new technology, you know what. Let's check back in
Speaker 4: with Ronnie Chang. He's with the undecided voters. I just
Speaker 4: want to see how.
Speaker 1: Ronnie, what the hell?
Speaker 4: How's it going?
Speaker 7: No, Grey John, one of the undecided voters snuck a
Speaker 7: phone in here and found out that the election is over.
Speaker 7: They all became very distressed and I had to sedate them.
Speaker 4: Ronnie, this is starting to sound less like a panel
Speaker 4: and more like a kidnapping.
Speaker 7: Oh really, would a kidnapper order pizza for everyone?
Speaker 1: Hey?
Speaker 4: What kind of toppings do you want?
Speaker 1: Mushroom Pepperoni? I can't decave, Ronnie.
Speaker 4: You need to get out of there before the police
Speaker 4: get there. Ronnie Chang, everybody get him out of there. Well,
Speaker 4: a lot of the results have been in, but obviously
Speaker 4: out west, as we saw with Governor Katie Hodge.
Speaker 1: We don't know yet.
Speaker 4: We do want to check in with Arizona around now.
Speaker 4: I believe the polls might be closing there soon. Our
Speaker 4: own Josh Johnson is live in Maricopa, Arizona.
Speaker 1: Josh, are you okay?
Speaker 4: More than okay?
Speaker 1: John?
Speaker 15: The day is almost over. The poles are closing soon,
Speaker 15: and I'm proud to say we made it. American democracy
Speaker 15: remains a shining beacon for the world, a light of
Speaker 15: progress in the darkness to which all great nations aspire.
Speaker 4: That's beautiful, beautiful, Josh side note, if I may, why
Speaker 4: are you in armor?
Speaker 15: Well, the voting is done, but the vote counting is starting,
Speaker 15: so I'm here in case the angry mob that has
Speaker 15: gathered outside the gate's attempts to breach the moat and
Speaker 15: scale the walls of the elect Center. You know, normal
Speaker 15: democracy stuff.
Speaker 4: It's not normal democracy stuff, Josh Jackson bounces.
Speaker 15: John Okay. One group counts the votes. The other group
Speaker 15: tries to burn that building.
Speaker 2: Down.
Speaker 1: It's really not a good way to run an election.
Speaker 15: That's don't want to cut you off, John, but it
Speaker 15: looks like it's about to get real democratic of him
Speaker 15: this bitch.
Speaker 4: Okay, fairly well, John of Jersey. Tell them, Oh, I
Speaker 4: hope he makes sense. Good luck out there, Josh. We're
Speaker 4: gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back after this.
Speaker 4: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Daily Show. We
Speaker 4: don't it hasn't been completely called yet. We don't exactly
Speaker 4: know what all the results are going to be. Our
Speaker 4: time is running out. I do want to very quickly.
Speaker 1: Send a quick message to all the pollsters, the election polsters.
Speaker 1: Blow me. I don't ever want to from you again. Ever.
Speaker 4: I don't ever want to hear we've corrected to the
Speaker 4: over correction.
Speaker 1: You don't know shit about shit, and I don't care
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 4: We'll figure it out next thing you pleasure might We
Speaker 4: were in the margin of blow me.
Speaker 1: Okay, look ah, look here here's the thing.
Speaker 4: Here's what we know is that we don't really know anything,
Speaker 4: and that we're going to come out of this election
Speaker 4: and we're going to make all kinds of pronouncements about
Speaker 4: what this country is and what this world is. And
Speaker 4: the truth is, we're not really going to know shit,
Speaker 4: and we're going to make it seem like this is
Speaker 4: the finality of our civilization. In this and thing, we're
Speaker 4: all gonna have to wake up tomorrow morning and work
Speaker 4: like hell to move the world to the place that
Speaker 4: we prefer it to be. And I just want to
Speaker 4: point out, just as a matter of perspective, that the
Speaker 4: lessons that our pundits take away from these results, that
Speaker 4: they will pronounce with certainty, will be wrong. And we
Speaker 4: have to remember that if you're in two thousand and
Speaker 4: eight when Barack Obama.
Speaker 13: Won, there's no question that this is the beginning, the
Speaker 13: first first election of the future, really, and I think
Speaker 13: we are moving towards a post racial America.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that lasted a day, and then, of course, in
Speaker 4: twenty twelve, Obama won again. And the lesson was the
Speaker 4: GOP needs to send a powerful signal to Hispanic voters
Speaker 4: that the party respects them. That that was the lesson
Speaker 4: they learned after that victory, and there were certain of it,
Speaker 4: and send a powerful signal to the Hispanic community.
Speaker 1: The GOP did.
Speaker 13: When Mexico sends his people they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime,
Speaker 13: their rapists.
Speaker 4: Which apparently was the winning message, and that taught Democrats
Speaker 4: in twenty sixteen.
Speaker 5: What maybe what the Democrats will be looking for is
Speaker 5: somebody with some inside experience, but who's a generation younger.
Speaker 1: It's obviously going to be younger. It's going to be
Speaker 1: from a new generation.
Speaker 6: Need I say it great honor and humility.
Speaker 1: I accept this nomination.
Speaker 4: And that turned out to be a winning message again,
Speaker 4: which let you an insurrection. And the lesson from that
Speaker 4: was when Donald Trump leaves office on Wednesday morning, he
Speaker 4: will leave Washington a pariah.
Speaker 11: Donald Trump will never be allowed to set foot in
Speaker 11: the Capitol again, never.
Speaker 1: Ever. My point is this, but this isn't the end.
Speaker 1: I promise you, this is not the end.
Speaker 4: And we have to regroup and we have to continue
Speaker 4: to fight and continue to work day in and day
Speaker 4: out to create the better society for our children, for
Speaker 4: this world, for this country that.
Speaker 1: We know is possible. It's possible.
Speaker 4: That's our show for tonight. Tune in tomorrow, DESI lad
Speaker 4: it will be your host here, it is your moment
Speaker 4: is in.
Speaker 1: I I just want this nightmare to be over.
Speaker 5: I do have children, and I have a cat, and
Speaker 5: I will be watching with my Xanax and my bottle
Speaker 5: of savignan Blanc.
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