WEBVTT - Planning For Pregnancy 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:08.840 Who baby a baby? I need you, Oh hell, I 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:14.000 need you. What do Expect is a production of I 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:18.159 Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murkop and I'm a 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:20.960 mom on a mission, a mission to help you know 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:26.640 what to expect every step of the way. So you're 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:30.960 ready to get pregnant or are you? Preparing for pregnancy 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:34.880 isn't only about tossing your birth control, getting up close 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:38.559 and personal with your cycle and your cervical mucus, and 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:42.320 getting busy. It's also about getting your body and your 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:47.120 partner's body into tiptop baby making shape. From your lifestyle 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.360 to the habits you're smart to start kicking, to the 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:54.960 supplements you're smart to start popping and not popping, even 0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:59.280 your workplace and your workout routine. Taking charge of your 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:03.000 preconcept and prep we'll put your pregnancy on the right 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.560 track before sperm and egg are even out of the gate. 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.800 So before you cut to the good part baby making sex, 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:16.360 let's dive into planning for pregnancy. Emma is here with me. 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:21.280 Let's make a baby. Your father and I did make 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.560 a baby. You yeah you did. But here's the thing 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.080 I'm gonna start with my story of how we prep 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:30.360 for pregnancy because it's a very very short story. In fact, 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.240 there was no story. As you know, we were so 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:36.520 not ready. We couldn't have been farther from ready. We 0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:39.679 didn't have any money. We lived in a teeny tiny 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:43.760 one bedroom apartment with cockroaches. With cockroaches, they were your 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:47.520 children at the time, So there's that. And then I 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:51.280 wasn't working. Eric was working nights in weekends, so perfect 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.920 for having a baby. I was not taking a prenatal vitamin. 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.160 In fact, we spent most of our time partying because 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:02.680 we've just gotten married. Tag eights, yeah, hashtag eatees. So 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.800 you remember that baby think it through? You know for 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.399 teenagers where they give teenagers in high school a doll 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:12.800 to take care of and the baby cries in the 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.280 middle of the night and that makes them stop and think, 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:18.360 I'm not ready to have a baby. So I'm just 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:22.119 gonna say we did not think it through at all. Now, 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.520 you did some planning in preparation for Lennox, quite a lot, 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.919 in fact, I did, you know. Honestly, I feel like, 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.960 you know, when I was fourteen, that's when my mom 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.799 instincts really kicked in. Like I had a doll at fourteen, 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:39.640 and it's all been down the hill from there. But 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.400 so yeah, with Lennox, I was super prepared. I did 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:45.680 I VF, so I had all my injections, like the 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.200 only thing that really in retrospect wasn't ready with my marriage, 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:52.079 which fell apart, but you know what it was meant 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:56.399 to be. I would do it fifty times over for Lennox. Yeah. 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.280 And then the second time, oh, the second time I 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:02.959 was in Vagua Britney Spirits. The Britney Spirits concert alone 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.840 will get you knocked up. So much sex, day sex, 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:09.200 night sex, shower sex, balcony sex, like, so much sex. 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:13.560 So probably not prepared in that sense. I had literally 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:16.480 had both extremes. I had the planning to the second 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:19.880 with IVF and then I had Vegas Brittany sex covered 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:23.000 all my bases, baby. Yeah, you know, actually we did 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:26.240 plan Wyatt and we all know the story of my 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:30.520 opulating when when Eric was sick. But we were going 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:32.919 for the two and a half year age gap, and 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:36.080 we nailed it. You guys are two years five months apart. 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:40.440 You're just a fertile myrtle. We could not afford either 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:43.400 one of you, in fact, but we figured, you know, 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:45.440 while we're struggling, we might as well have two of 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:48.160 you and struggle with two of you. Yeah, when in Rome, 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:49.760 you know. I asked a lot of my friends on 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.160 Instagram what they were most worried about when it came 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.120 to this process, and money was one of the biggest issues. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:59.200 It is something to consider. But something else to consider 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:04.520 is health insurance. Because we had gotten pregnant so unexpectedly 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:06.680 and we had just gotten married, so I didn't have 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:11.080 health insurance. And then we realized I was pregnant, didn't 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:15.520 have coverage for maternity care, and we had to actually 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.000 lie to the insurance company because pregnancy is otherwise a 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:23.240 pre existing condition. So we lied to them and said, well, 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.920 I'm not pregnant yet, and then all of a sudden, 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:29.840 I was pregnant. If you take one step of preparation 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:34.400 before you get pregnant, it is get covered. And don't 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:38.560 assume that your insurance plan covers maternity. Make sure you 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:42.880 call and you check, because there's always the possibility that 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:46.200 it's not as generous a policy as you thought it was. 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:49.440 And if you want to sign up on the A 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.279 c A, you have to do that during open enrollments, 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:55.760 so that takes a lot of preparation as well. And 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.920 another kind of insurance that m I think you don't have. 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:01.280 I don't we're talking about I was talking to dad 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.760 about this yesterday. Yeah, it's a really good idea to 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:09.719 get life insurance. It's such a scary, like, no, I know, 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.560 nobody wants to talk about it, but it's good preparation. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:17.880 The really unfair reality is that pregnant women are charged 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.799 more if you sign up once you're pregnant, You're charge 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:23.520 more for life insurance, and that's really not fair at all. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.880 So it's a good idea to get that life insurance 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:31.000 ahead of time. Disability insurance another fun subject. And your workplace. 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.320 I didn't have to think about that. You didn't have 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:36.320 to think about that because we work from home. But 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:39.200 for other moms, most couples, they have to think about 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.800 is their workplace uh safe, visit family friendly? Does it 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:49.599 offer maternity leave or paternity leave paid preferably yeah? And 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.680 is it too stressful? Is there too much travel involved? 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.080 Because the time to look for a new job is 0:05:56.160 --> 0:06:00.920 not when you are pregnant. Let's just say you can't 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:05.840 discriminate against a pregnant woman for hiring. But the truth 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:09.839 is that it's really hard to prove discrimination, so definitely 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:12.720 look into that. And something else to look into as 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.480 far in advance as it seems at the moment, as 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.240 childcare because it can cost as much as a college 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:21.599 tuition in some areas. Mom, these are all really super 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:25.040 important things to think about, and I know personally I 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.960 didn't for a lot of them, and I actually regret it. 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.400 But again, again, who was going to listen to their mother? 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.200 I would listen to your podcast, but probably just not 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.279 from the horse's mouth. If only there were podcasts back 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:41.320 in nineteen eight. True that. So we're going to take 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.880 a quick break and when week come back, I am 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:49.719 answering the biggest questions you have about planning for pregnancy 0:06:50.480 --> 0:07:08.400 before you get busy. Okay, mom, the time has come 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:12.600 for my favorite part, the biggest questions our listeners have 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:16.840 when it comes to planning for pregnancy. So, first of all, 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:23.200 how far in advance should you ideally start planning? We're 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.480 talking ideal circumstances. It really depends on how many items 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:30.840 are on your to do list, um, and how long 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.360 it will take to get them checked off your to 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:36.160 do list. I have a whole list in the back 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:39.880 of what to expect before you're expecting starting it's three 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.640 months out, six months out, twelve months out. Okay, I 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:46.640 literally have no idea, So enlighten me what exactly is 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:52.040 a preconception consult and when and if should we get one? 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:53.920 I probably is exactly what it sounds like it is, 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:58.000 but just help me out here. Yes, it definitely is. 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:03.800 So it's basically your annual exam, but an extended version, 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.800 and timing wise, you should probably have it at least 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:11.600 three months ahead before you start getting busy. And if 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.280 you already have your annual plan, you can just go 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:16.760 ahead and call the office and see if you can 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.960 get that extended preconception console because it's just gonna take 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.200 a little extra time. You have all the usual suspects, 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.240 you know what you look forward to so much, the 0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:30.280 pelvic and the paba pressed exam. Who doesn't love a 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.600 good path. But you're gonna get some extras too, because 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.760 we're gonna take some blood tests to see if your 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:38.719 iron levels are good, your vitamin D maybe maybe you'll 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:41.480 do some genetic screening. You can ask the doctor which 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:44.200 ones you and your partner should have. This is to 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:47.079 see if you have any carrier genes for any kinds 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:50.920 of disorders, usually only one of you have to get tested. 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:55.200 UM you're gonna go through your family history, so shake 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.760 that family tree and find out what's on it. You know, 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:03.479 it's nobody's favorite discussion, and it can be an uncomfortable 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.560 one to have, but it's really important to feel empowered 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:10.440 to talk to your doctor at your preconception consult about 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:13.840 your weight if you're concerned that maybe you're significantly overweight 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.600 or significantly underweight, because being at a healthy weight when 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:21.640 you conceive does boost your chances of getting pregnant in 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:23.640 the first place and having a healthy pregnancy and a 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:27.640 healthy baby. So when it comes to um the doctor situation, 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:32.400 should you stick with your old gonecologist or should you 0:09:32.480 --> 0:09:34.680 find a new one. I know a lot of times, 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:37.360 like with Lennox, I had a fertility doctor and then 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:40.320 I guess after you graduate, after like two months, you 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:44.599 go to your o B. What's your recommendation on this situation? 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:47.240 You know, if you're not crazy about your current g 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:50.360 y N, or you know some g y ns don't 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.839 do oh B at all, or maybe you're thinking about 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:55.680 a midwife, or maybe you'd like to look into a 0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:59.679 practice that combines midwives with Obie's because that could give 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:02.360 you the US to both. You should start shopping around 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.160 now before you get pregnant, even before your preconception consult 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:09.400 so you can start your preconception consult with your as 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:13.440 you said, old guynecologists, whether they're old or young, and 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:17.240 then switch around later once a year annual. That is 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.320 not a big deal a nine months pregnancy, with all 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:23.240 those visits you're going to have and then labor and delivery, 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.640 you want to make sure you choose someone who you 0:10:27.000 --> 0:10:30.880 trustfully and you feel fully comfortable with. I mean, I 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:33.680 couldn't agree with that more because fun little story my 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:36.080 O B G Y and my gynecologists since I was 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:39.280 like sixteen, he delivered Lennox, but then he couldn't deliver 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:42.120 babies anymore. Um, but he was still my guy. Know, 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:45.360 so when I was pregnant with my second, he referred 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:48.320 me to his partner, who she's amazing. You know, I'm 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:50.600 really horrible with any sort of change in my life, 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:52.720 and something so big put me into a little bit 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:56.280 of a tail spin when I was emotionally pregnant. So 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.880 you know, from personal experience, I recommend getting that sit 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:04.040 figured out before you're pregnant, because it's really hard to 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:06.000 make that kind of change and trust somebody and get 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.120 to know somebody with the clock taking, Yeah, with the 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.319 clock taking and the emotions of all, especially with it. 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.360 It's such a personal thing, Like pregnancy can be a 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.120 very scary thing, and you want someone who you feel 0:11:14.160 --> 0:11:16.640 comfortable with, you know, yeah, at times you're at your 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:20.400 most vulnerable. You want someone you can ask questions, yeah, 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.680 and not feel like rushed, not feel rushed, and also 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.120 feel like they're not just you know, half listening, yeah, 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:29.080 off the side of their desk kind of thing, but 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:32.520 they're really paying attention to you. That's so important, and 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:35.520 have some empathy or sympathy. You need a doctor that 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:38.720 works with your personality. Like for me, I need someone 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.679 who is not an alarmist, because I am an alarmist. 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.000 You don't want someone to feed your anxiety. No, not 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:48.000 that you want someone to talk you off the ledge. Now, 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:51.439 on the subject of checkups, first of all, guys to 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.120 get a check up too. They're not going to be 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.880 carrying the baby, but they're gonna have a job in 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:00.839 creating that baby, making that baby. And also you need 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:03.840 to go to the dentists. What does pregnancy have to 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.800 do with dental health? Actually a lot, And if you 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:12.240 have gum problems or teeth problems, those can actually cause 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.000 pregnancy complications. So you've got to take care of all 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:20.160 that work before you get pregnant, preferably. So I started 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:23.840 way in Evans taking prenatals before at lenox, but not 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.760 obviously it was sobby because it was an oopsie daisy. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.559 So how long are you supposed to do that? Like? 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:33.440 How long? In events? Ideally at least three months before 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.040 you start actively t TC. But my thing is why wait? 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:40.200 Like you know what I always say, there is no 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:44.840 downside to taking a prenatal vitamin UM, even if you 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.480 don't have baby on the front burner plans, because your 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:50.719 hair and skin and your nails are going to thank 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.760 you anyway, and then you're covered, and then you never 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:57.559 know the oopsie daisies. So um, a multi vitamin with 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:01.679 FULLY can help produce healthier sperm, and we're all about 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:05.280 the healthier sperm. Plus, a FULLY deficiency in men, just 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.839 like in women, has been linked to birth effects. So 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:13.040 it takes two to make a healthy baby. And I say, 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:15.640 take your vitamins together, you know, just every night say 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:20.760 cheers your baby making vitamins. That's actually really impressious. I 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.160 know I had to stop my soul offt but which 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:27.800 other medications need to be changed? Prescription over the counter, 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:32.000 and what about like that herbal stuff? You know, this 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:36.599 is another good reason to do that preconception consult so 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:40.400 you can ask ahead of time which medications you should stop. 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.600 And by the way, you should never wing yourself off 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:49.240 of antidepressants without your doctor's advice and supervision, or any 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.640 supplements or any medications that you take on a regular basis. 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.719 It's really important to do that with medical supervision. So 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:58.920 don't necessarily think you're going to toss everything. There may 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:02.360 be some changes to be, some adjustment and doses. Also 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:05.640 ask what supplements you should be taking. For the most part, 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:08.800 you're probably gonna be told just take the prenatal vitamin. 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.560 You don't need a whole bunch of other supplements. And 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:15.480 you should know which over the counter medications you should 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:18.160 try to get off of. And the same thing goes 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.520 for dad's. He should check about the medications that he's 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:25.120 taking with his doctor and see which he might need 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.520 to change up because maybe they're not fertility friendly. The 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.240 same goes for supplements. When is the right time to 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:36.960 pull the goalie ak go off for control before trying 0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:40.480 to conceive. It depends who your goalie is. So first 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.520 of all, you need to get your body ready and 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:47.040 then you pull the goalie. The only one you need 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:51.360 to pull way ahead of time. If your goalie is debot, 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:53.960 prevayor shots um. If you're getting those shots, you need 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:57.360 to stop them six to twelve months, and then you're 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.400 gonna have to use a backup birth control while you're waiting. 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:04.240 And the pill. You know, anybody who's been on the 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:06.880 pill knows that you could get pregnant just by missing 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.440 one pill. And so you can just go off the 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.920 pill and get pregnant. But it's not a bad idea 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:15.600 because it's not a natural cycle for you to have 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.440 a natural cycle or two before you start trying to conceive, 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:21.120 because that way, you know, you have a better sense 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:25.680 of ovulation and your cycle. Okay, So with Lennox, I 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:29.520 went a little bit gray with chemical products. Like I 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:34.080 stopped worring, I stopped wearing deodorant. I tried the natural stuff. Yeah, 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.440 I I only wore natural makeup. But like, how crazy 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.800 do you really have to go here? You don't have 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.520 to go crazy. Look, it's a good time to clean 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.400 up your diet to you know, clean up your lifestyle 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:50.200 and start reading labels. The thallits and p p A 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:53.800 are linked to lower fertility, both for men and for women, 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:58.560 and they're possibly also linked to pregnancy complications, so you know, 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.640 play it safe. Look for b p A free, fragrance 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:05.720 free salet, free lead in your water. That's something that 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.240 you should have tested and if it needs to be 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.360 abated ahead of time, that's important to do. And your 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:17.080 mercury intake, because mercury does get stored in your system, 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:20.840 it's important to start lowering your intake of fish that 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.080 are high in mercury so that your mercury isn't rising. 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:28.320 Sushi bar, get it while you can, because it's totally 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.440 fine to have have that sashimi before you get pregnant, 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:36.240 but quit the swordfish, the shark, fresh tuna. What other 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:40.960 lifestyle changes should people know about caffeine? This is a 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:47.120 very important personal question for me. Yeah. Um, it really 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.440 depends on how big your habit is and how long 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.560 it's going to take to wean yourself off of it. 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:56.840 Hashtag Trenta, your trend is definitely not gonna cut it. 0:16:56.960 --> 0:17:01.400 Probably about twelve ounces per day is fine. So that's 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.960 l O L. You've put a lot of milk in yours. 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.600 I don't think it's as bad as you think. Alcohol 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.720 is something you did not have to worry about now. 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:13.920 Alcohol is not really a deal breaker until you're actively 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.639 trying to conceive. But you know, if you if you're 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:20.439 used to drinking a bunch, then you might want to 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:24.600 start cutting back because alcohol can mess with your cycles 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.159 a bit. But also exhibit A. I am proof that 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.200 my mom was drinking a ton while she was trying 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:32.840 to get pregnant, and I'm amazing, I wasn't trying to 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:36.119 get profit. Why when you got pregnant, when you got 0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:41.399 pregnable accident and I apologize and you came out just fine. No, 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.439 I mean, you know, the truth is a lot of 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:46.159 women have some drinks, a few drinks, a lot of 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:50.600 drinks before they find out they're pregnant. That's not the issue. Smoking. 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:53.320 If you are a smoker, if your partners a smoker, 0:17:53.800 --> 0:17:56.920 you definitely have to kick butt before you start trying 0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:59.760 to have that baby. And you know that's one of 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.199 the reasons why I say, if it takes a year, 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.240 it takes for a year, you want to give yourself 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.840 the time that you need to quit. You don't have 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.159 to worry about past smoking. So if you smoked a 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:12.920 lot in the past, it it's not going to impact 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.960 your pregnancy. Give yourself lots and lots of props for 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:18.480 quitting now, because it really is the best gift you 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:21.600 can give your baby. And then of course we'd um 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.600 we can actually reduce fertility and guys, even if you're 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:27.840 the one who's smoking it, because it stays in your 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:45.199 reproductive track and it can cause slacker sperm. Okay, so 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.359 we talked about the mom's way, but what about the guys. Yeah, 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.720 they may gain a few pounds on your pregnant sympathy weight, 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:55.000 but do they really need to lose weight before. Yeah, 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:58.120 for guys, too many fat cells equal too much estrogen, 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:01.680 and in stating the obvious apart it too much estrogen 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:05.000 not such a good thing when it comes to male fertility. 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.240 And the same thing for being super skinny without anybody 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:12.200 fat that can actually decrease sperm production too. So happy 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:14.040 medium for both of you. You can look at this 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:17.520 as a team effort. You know, the team, teamwork, The 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:21.760 couple that preps together makes a healthy baby together. Dad 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.760 bad for the win, right, Yes, it's a whole movement. 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:30.200 Dad bond. Not too skinny, not too heavy, little soft. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.520 I don't know. I like the dad bond. Okay, sorry 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:37.320 to me. Regardless, teamwork makes the dreamwork. That's right, the 0:19:37.320 --> 0:19:41.040 baby dream. So, as you know, since she gave birth 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.720 to me, I am four every five so this doesn't 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:46.920 really apply to me, but for everyone else? How does 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.480 age factor into this timeline for both mom and dad? 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:53.320 I'm actually really curious because my husband's a lot older 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:58.679 than me. He's what years older? Yeah, by this point 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:03.680 he's getting older and older. I don't you think that, um, 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:07.800 with the longer lifespan that we have in modern times, 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:11.080 that our egg shelf life would have evolved to and 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:14.479 would have gotten longer. But in fact, women are still 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:20.000 at their most fertile before most women are even remotely 0:20:20.119 --> 0:20:23.160 ready in their lives to have a baby. So that's 0:20:23.160 --> 0:20:26.240 in their very very early twenties, and the same for guys. 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:30.080 But just because your body is ready in your early twenties, 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:33.120 that doesn't mean your life is ready and planning your 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:35.280 pregnancy at the time that's right for you and your 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:41.160 partner is definitely ideal. So age is a factor, it's 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:43.159 just not the only factor, and it's not even that 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:45.440 huge a factor. And you've got to keep in mind 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:49.520 fertility it doesn't drop off a cliff on your thirty 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:52.560 fifth birthday. It's more of a gradual decline, and so 0:20:53.200 --> 0:20:57.720 it's a decline that gets steeper after the age of forty. Now, 0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:01.960 the latest stats have actually really shown really recent sets 0:21:01.960 --> 0:21:06.200 have shown that the birth rate for women under twenty four, 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:10.240 where I was in my first pregnancy, are at record lows, 0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:13.240 and there are record highs for women over thirty five 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:15.919 and even over forty. So maybe thirty five is the 0:21:15.920 --> 0:21:18.920 new twenty after all. When it comes to getting pregnant. 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:21.880 Breaking it down by the numbers, if you're twenty five, 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:25.520 your chances of getting pregnant are about twenty five in 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:28.440 any given cycle. If you're in your late thirties, it's 0:21:28.480 --> 0:21:31.439 more like fifteen percent. That's not really a huge difference 0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:34.159 if you think about it. Now, at forty or older, 0:21:34.320 --> 0:21:37.359 you can get pregnant naturally, but your chances in a 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.080 cycle or down to about five, So it's doable. It's 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:43.680 just not as easy to do. And for guys, since 0:21:43.720 --> 0:21:47.520 you were asking Emma, the decline is more gradual and 0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:50.520 the greatest drop is after age forty five, So they 0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:53.200 can get the job done for sure, it just might 0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:56.879 take longer. David Foster got Katherine McPhee pregnant. What is 0:21:56.920 --> 0:22:01.520 he seventy? So I feel like it's possible. It's definitely possible. 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.399 Congratulations to them, by the way. So if you're if 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.840 you're really feeling generally ready and you feel the clock 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.600 is ticking, you feel like you don't have that much 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:13.399 reproductive wiggle time, and that's a reason you might want 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.840 to expedite you're planning and cut right to the baby 0:22:16.880 --> 0:22:20.440 making chase and get busy. I literally hear this all 0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:23.919 the time. What if your relationship is so good and 0:22:23.960 --> 0:22:29.119 you're afraid that having a baby will change that. Okay, 0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:32.440 so let's start with a true story. I knew Eric 0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:35.680 her dad when I'm talking to you, and we knew 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:38.920 each other for exactly ten months before we got pregnant. 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:44.720 We were married for three months. Things were amazing. There's 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:49.479 like dinners out, you know, romantic dinners, sex, more sex, 0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:52.440 more sex. But we were just the two of us 0:22:52.600 --> 0:22:56.800 for a grand total of about a year of married 0:22:56.840 --> 0:22:59.920 life before you came along. And guess what I think, 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:03.040 weren't exactly the same as they were before you came along, 0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:06.679 But eventually they only got better and better, like deeper 0:23:06.720 --> 0:23:10.320 and deeper. You know, having a baby does change everything, 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:14.000 but different isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different can be better, 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:17.240 you know, it can be deeper, it can have more dimension. Yeah, 0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:21.960 maybe less sex, probably less x Okay, definitely less. Yeah, 0:23:22.040 --> 0:23:26.080 definitely less sex and less sleep. But you know, as 0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:28.800 long as you're prepared for change, you know, the shifting 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:32.280 of dynamics, then change can be good. I mean, here's 0:23:32.320 --> 0:23:34.480 my thing. The best time to have a baby is 0:23:34.480 --> 0:23:38.000 when your relationship is in that good place, when you're 0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:42.439 feeling the most connected, when things are great between you, 0:23:42.520 --> 0:23:45.360 when you're like super close and connected, when your head 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:48.840