Speaker 1: Who baby a baby? I need you, Oh hell, I
Speaker 1: need you. What do Expect is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murkop and I'm a
Speaker 1: mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
Speaker 1: what to expect every step of the way. So you're
Speaker 1: ready to get pregnant or are you? Preparing for pregnancy
Speaker 1: isn't only about tossing your birth control, getting up close
Speaker 1: and personal with your cycle and your cervical mucus, and
Speaker 1: getting busy. It's also about getting your body and your
Speaker 1: partner's body into tiptop baby making shape. From your lifestyle
Speaker 1: to the habits you're smart to start kicking, to the
Speaker 1: supplements you're smart to start popping and not popping, even
Speaker 1: your workplace and your workout routine. Taking charge of your
Speaker 1: preconcept and prep we'll put your pregnancy on the right
Speaker 1: track before sperm and egg are even out of the gate.
Speaker 1: So before you cut to the good part baby making sex,
Speaker 1: let's dive into planning for pregnancy. Emma is here with me.
Speaker 1: Let's make a baby. Your father and I did make
Speaker 1: a baby. You yeah you did. But here's the thing
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start with my story of how we prep
Speaker 1: for pregnancy because it's a very very short story. In fact,
Speaker 1: there was no story. As you know, we were so
Speaker 1: not ready. We couldn't have been farther from ready. We
Speaker 1: didn't have any money. We lived in a teeny tiny
Speaker 1: one bedroom apartment with cockroaches. With cockroaches, they were your
Speaker 1: children at the time, So there's that. And then I
Speaker 1: wasn't working. Eric was working nights in weekends, so perfect
Speaker 1: for having a baby. I was not taking a prenatal vitamin.
Speaker 1: In fact, we spent most of our time partying because
Speaker 1: we've just gotten married. Tag eights, yeah, hashtag eatees. So
Speaker 1: you remember that baby think it through? You know for
Speaker 1: teenagers where they give teenagers in high school a doll
Speaker 1: to take care of and the baby cries in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night and that makes them stop and think,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready to have a baby. So I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna say we did not think it through at all. Now,
Speaker 1: you did some planning in preparation for Lennox, quite a lot,
Speaker 1: in fact, I did, you know. Honestly, I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, when I was fourteen, that's when my mom
Speaker 1: instincts really kicked in. Like I had a doll at fourteen,
Speaker 1: and it's all been down the hill from there. But
Speaker 1: so yeah, with Lennox, I was super prepared. I did
Speaker 1: I VF, so I had all my injections, like the
Speaker 1: only thing that really in retrospect wasn't ready with my marriage,
Speaker 1: which fell apart, but you know what it was meant
Speaker 1: to be. I would do it fifty times over for Lennox. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then the second time, oh, the second time I
Speaker 1: was in Vagua Britney Spirits. The Britney Spirits concert alone
Speaker 1: will get you knocked up. So much sex, day sex,
Speaker 1: night sex, shower sex, balcony sex, like, so much sex.
Speaker 1: So probably not prepared in that sense. I had literally
Speaker 1: had both extremes. I had the planning to the second
Speaker 1: with IVF and then I had Vegas Brittany sex covered
Speaker 1: all my bases, baby. Yeah, you know, actually we did
Speaker 1: plan Wyatt and we all know the story of my
Speaker 1: opulating when when Eric was sick. But we were going
Speaker 1: for the two and a half year age gap, and
Speaker 1: we nailed it. You guys are two years five months apart.
Speaker 1: You're just a fertile myrtle. We could not afford either
Speaker 1: one of you, in fact, but we figured, you know,
Speaker 1: while we're struggling, we might as well have two of
Speaker 1: you and struggle with two of you. Yeah, when in Rome,
Speaker 1: you know. I asked a lot of my friends on
Speaker 1: Instagram what they were most worried about when it came
Speaker 1: to this process, and money was one of the biggest issues.
Speaker 1: It is something to consider. But something else to consider
Speaker 1: is health insurance. Because we had gotten pregnant so unexpectedly
Speaker 1: and we had just gotten married, so I didn't have
Speaker 1: health insurance. And then we realized I was pregnant, didn't
Speaker 1: have coverage for maternity care, and we had to actually
Speaker 1: lie to the insurance company because pregnancy is otherwise a
Speaker 1: pre existing condition. So we lied to them and said, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not pregnant yet, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I was pregnant. If you take one step of preparation
Speaker 1: before you get pregnant, it is get covered. And don't
Speaker 1: assume that your insurance plan covers maternity. Make sure you
Speaker 1: call and you check, because there's always the possibility that
Speaker 1: it's not as generous a policy as you thought it was.
Speaker 1: And if you want to sign up on the A
Speaker 1: c A, you have to do that during open enrollments,
Speaker 1: so that takes a lot of preparation as well. And
Speaker 1: another kind of insurance that m I think you don't have.
Speaker 1: I don't we're talking about I was talking to dad
Speaker 1: about this yesterday. Yeah, it's a really good idea to
Speaker 1: get life insurance. It's such a scary, like, no, I know,
Speaker 1: nobody wants to talk about it, but it's good preparation.
Speaker 1: The really unfair reality is that pregnant women are charged
Speaker 1: more if you sign up once you're pregnant, You're charge
Speaker 1: more for life insurance, and that's really not fair at all.
Speaker 1: So it's a good idea to get that life insurance
Speaker 1: ahead of time. Disability insurance another fun subject. And your workplace.
Speaker 1: I didn't have to think about that. You didn't have
Speaker 1: to think about that because we work from home. But
Speaker 1: for other moms, most couples, they have to think about
Speaker 1: is their workplace uh safe, visit family friendly? Does it
Speaker 1: offer maternity leave or paternity leave paid preferably yeah? And
Speaker 1: is it too stressful? Is there too much travel involved?
Speaker 1: Because the time to look for a new job is
Speaker 1: not when you are pregnant. Let's just say you can't
Speaker 1: discriminate against a pregnant woman for hiring. But the truth
Speaker 1: is that it's really hard to prove discrimination, so definitely
Speaker 1: look into that. And something else to look into as
Speaker 1: far in advance as it seems at the moment, as
Speaker 1: childcare because it can cost as much as a college
Speaker 1: tuition in some areas. Mom, these are all really super
Speaker 1: important things to think about, and I know personally I
Speaker 1: didn't for a lot of them, and I actually regret it.
Speaker 1: But again, again, who was going to listen to their mother?
Speaker 1: I would listen to your podcast, but probably just not
Speaker 1: from the horse's mouth. If only there were podcasts back
Speaker 1: in nineteen eight. True that. So we're going to take
Speaker 1: a quick break and when week come back, I am
Speaker 1: answering the biggest questions you have about planning for pregnancy
Speaker 1: before you get busy. Okay, mom, the time has come
Speaker 1: for my favorite part, the biggest questions our listeners have
Speaker 1: when it comes to planning for pregnancy. So, first of all,
Speaker 1: how far in advance should you ideally start planning? We're
Speaker 1: talking ideal circumstances. It really depends on how many items
Speaker 1: are on your to do list, um, and how long
Speaker 1: it will take to get them checked off your to
Speaker 1: do list. I have a whole list in the back
Speaker 1: of what to expect before you're expecting starting it's three
Speaker 1: months out, six months out, twelve months out. Okay, I
Speaker 1: literally have no idea, So enlighten me what exactly is
Speaker 1: a preconception consult and when and if should we get one?
Speaker 1: I probably is exactly what it sounds like it is,
Speaker 1: but just help me out here. Yes, it definitely is.
Speaker 1: So it's basically your annual exam, but an extended version,
Speaker 1: and timing wise, you should probably have it at least
Speaker 1: three months ahead before you start getting busy. And if
Speaker 1: you already have your annual plan, you can just go
Speaker 1: ahead and call the office and see if you can
Speaker 1: get that extended preconception console because it's just gonna take
Speaker 1: a little extra time. You have all the usual suspects,
Speaker 1: you know what you look forward to so much, the
Speaker 1: pelvic and the paba pressed exam. Who doesn't love a
Speaker 1: good path. But you're gonna get some extras too, because
Speaker 1: we're gonna take some blood tests to see if your
Speaker 1: iron levels are good, your vitamin D maybe maybe you'll
Speaker 1: do some genetic screening. You can ask the doctor which
Speaker 1: ones you and your partner should have. This is to
Speaker 1: see if you have any carrier genes for any kinds
Speaker 1: of disorders, usually only one of you have to get tested.
Speaker 1: UM you're gonna go through your family history, so shake
Speaker 1: that family tree and find out what's on it. You know,
Speaker 1: it's nobody's favorite discussion, and it can be an uncomfortable
Speaker 1: one to have, but it's really important to feel empowered
Speaker 1: to talk to your doctor at your preconception consult about
Speaker 1: your weight if you're concerned that maybe you're significantly overweight
Speaker 1: or significantly underweight, because being at a healthy weight when
Speaker 1: you conceive does boost your chances of getting pregnant in
Speaker 1: the first place and having a healthy pregnancy and a
Speaker 1: healthy baby. So when it comes to um the doctor situation,
Speaker 1: should you stick with your old gonecologist or should you
Speaker 1: find a new one. I know a lot of times,
Speaker 1: like with Lennox, I had a fertility doctor and then
Speaker 1: I guess after you graduate, after like two months, you
Speaker 1: go to your o B. What's your recommendation on this situation?
Speaker 1: You know, if you're not crazy about your current g
Speaker 1: y N, or you know some g y ns don't
Speaker 1: do oh B at all, or maybe you're thinking about
Speaker 1: a midwife, or maybe you'd like to look into a
Speaker 1: practice that combines midwives with Obie's because that could give
Speaker 1: you the US to both. You should start shopping around
Speaker 1: now before you get pregnant, even before your preconception consult
Speaker 1: so you can start your preconception consult with your as
Speaker 1: you said, old guynecologists, whether they're old or young, and
Speaker 1: then switch around later once a year annual. That is
Speaker 1: not a big deal a nine months pregnancy, with all
Speaker 1: those visits you're going to have and then labor and delivery,
Speaker 1: you want to make sure you choose someone who you
Speaker 1: trustfully and you feel fully comfortable with. I mean, I
Speaker 1: couldn't agree with that more because fun little story my
Speaker 1: O B G Y and my gynecologists since I was
Speaker 1: like sixteen, he delivered Lennox, but then he couldn't deliver
Speaker 1: babies anymore. Um, but he was still my guy. Know,
Speaker 1: so when I was pregnant with my second, he referred
Speaker 1: me to his partner, who she's amazing. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: really horrible with any sort of change in my life,
Speaker 1: and something so big put me into a little bit
Speaker 1: of a tail spin when I was emotionally pregnant. So
Speaker 1: you know, from personal experience, I recommend getting that sit
Speaker 1: figured out before you're pregnant, because it's really hard to
Speaker 1: make that kind of change and trust somebody and get
Speaker 1: to know somebody with the clock taking, Yeah, with the
Speaker 1: clock taking and the emotions of all, especially with it.
Speaker 1: It's such a personal thing, Like pregnancy can be a
Speaker 1: very scary thing, and you want someone who you feel
Speaker 1: comfortable with, you know, yeah, at times you're at your
Speaker 1: most vulnerable. You want someone you can ask questions, yeah,
Speaker 1: and not feel like rushed, not feel rushed, and also
Speaker 1: feel like they're not just you know, half listening, yeah,
Speaker 1: off the side of their desk kind of thing, but
Speaker 1: they're really paying attention to you. That's so important, and
Speaker 1: have some empathy or sympathy. You need a doctor that
Speaker 1: works with your personality. Like for me, I need someone
Speaker 1: who is not an alarmist, because I am an alarmist.
Speaker 1: You don't want someone to feed your anxiety. No, not
Speaker 1: that you want someone to talk you off the ledge. Now,
Speaker 1: on the subject of checkups, first of all, guys to
Speaker 1: get a check up too. They're not going to be
Speaker 1: carrying the baby, but they're gonna have a job in
Speaker 1: creating that baby, making that baby. And also you need
Speaker 1: to go to the dentists. What does pregnancy have to
Speaker 1: do with dental health? Actually a lot, And if you
Speaker 1: have gum problems or teeth problems, those can actually cause
Speaker 1: pregnancy complications. So you've got to take care of all
Speaker 1: that work before you get pregnant, preferably. So I started
Speaker 1: way in Evans taking prenatals before at lenox, but not
Speaker 1: obviously it was sobby because it was an oopsie daisy.
Speaker 1: So how long are you supposed to do that? Like?
Speaker 1: How long? In events? Ideally at least three months before
Speaker 1: you start actively t TC. But my thing is why wait?
Speaker 1: Like you know what I always say, there is no
Speaker 1: downside to taking a prenatal vitamin UM, even if you
Speaker 1: don't have baby on the front burner plans, because your
Speaker 1: hair and skin and your nails are going to thank
Speaker 1: you anyway, and then you're covered, and then you never
Speaker 1: know the oopsie daisies. So um, a multi vitamin with
Speaker 1: FULLY can help produce healthier sperm, and we're all about
Speaker 1: the healthier sperm. Plus, a FULLY deficiency in men, just
Speaker 1: like in women, has been linked to birth effects. So
Speaker 1: it takes two to make a healthy baby. And I say,
Speaker 1: take your vitamins together, you know, just every night say
Speaker 1: cheers your baby making vitamins. That's actually really impressious. I
Speaker 1: know I had to stop my soul offt but which
Speaker 1: other medications need to be changed? Prescription over the counter,
Speaker 1: and what about like that herbal stuff? You know, this
Speaker 1: is another good reason to do that preconception consult so
Speaker 1: you can ask ahead of time which medications you should stop.
Speaker 1: And by the way, you should never wing yourself off
Speaker 1: of antidepressants without your doctor's advice and supervision, or any
Speaker 1: supplements or any medications that you take on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: It's really important to do that with medical supervision. So
Speaker 1: don't necessarily think you're going to toss everything. There may
Speaker 1: be some changes to be, some adjustment and doses. Also
Speaker 1: ask what supplements you should be taking. For the most part,
Speaker 1: you're probably gonna be told just take the prenatal vitamin.
Speaker 1: You don't need a whole bunch of other supplements. And
Speaker 1: you should know which over the counter medications you should
Speaker 1: try to get off of. And the same thing goes
Speaker 1: for dad's. He should check about the medications that he's
Speaker 1: taking with his doctor and see which he might need
Speaker 1: to change up because maybe they're not fertility friendly. The
Speaker 1: same goes for supplements. When is the right time to
Speaker 1: pull the goalie ak go off for control before trying
Speaker 1: to conceive. It depends who your goalie is. So first
Speaker 1: of all, you need to get your body ready and
Speaker 1: then you pull the goalie. The only one you need
Speaker 1: to pull way ahead of time. If your goalie is debot,
Speaker 1: prevayor shots um. If you're getting those shots, you need
Speaker 1: to stop them six to twelve months, and then you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to use a backup birth control while you're waiting.
Speaker 1: And the pill. You know, anybody who's been on the
Speaker 1: pill knows that you could get pregnant just by missing
Speaker 1: one pill. And so you can just go off the
Speaker 1: pill and get pregnant. But it's not a bad idea
Speaker 1: because it's not a natural cycle for you to have
Speaker 1: a natural cycle or two before you start trying to conceive,
Speaker 1: because that way, you know, you have a better sense
Speaker 1: of ovulation and your cycle. Okay, So with Lennox, I
Speaker 1: went a little bit gray with chemical products. Like I
Speaker 1: stopped worring, I stopped wearing deodorant. I tried the natural stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I only wore natural makeup. But like, how crazy
Speaker 1: do you really have to go here? You don't have
Speaker 1: to go crazy. Look, it's a good time to clean
Speaker 1: up your diet to you know, clean up your lifestyle
Speaker 1: and start reading labels. The thallits and p p A
Speaker 1: are linked to lower fertility, both for men and for women,
Speaker 1: and they're possibly also linked to pregnancy complications, so you know,
Speaker 1: play it safe. Look for b p A free, fragrance
Speaker 1: free salet, free lead in your water. That's something that
Speaker 1: you should have tested and if it needs to be
Speaker 1: abated ahead of time, that's important to do. And your
Speaker 1: mercury intake, because mercury does get stored in your system,
Speaker 1: it's important to start lowering your intake of fish that
Speaker 1: are high in mercury so that your mercury isn't rising.
Speaker 1: Sushi bar, get it while you can, because it's totally
Speaker 1: fine to have have that sashimi before you get pregnant,
Speaker 1: but quit the swordfish, the shark, fresh tuna. What other
Speaker 1: lifestyle changes should people know about caffeine? This is a
Speaker 1: very important personal question for me. Yeah. Um, it really
Speaker 1: depends on how big your habit is and how long
Speaker 1: it's going to take to wean yourself off of it.
Speaker 1: Hashtag Trenta, your trend is definitely not gonna cut it.
Speaker 1: Probably about twelve ounces per day is fine. So that's
Speaker 1: l O L. You've put a lot of milk in yours.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's as bad as you think. Alcohol
Speaker 1: is something you did not have to worry about now.
Speaker 1: Alcohol is not really a deal breaker until you're actively
Speaker 1: trying to conceive. But you know, if you if you're
Speaker 1: used to drinking a bunch, then you might want to
Speaker 1: start cutting back because alcohol can mess with your cycles
Speaker 1: a bit. But also exhibit A. I am proof that
Speaker 1: my mom was drinking a ton while she was trying
Speaker 1: to get pregnant, and I'm amazing, I wasn't trying to
Speaker 1: get profit. Why when you got pregnant, when you got
Speaker 1: pregnable accident and I apologize and you came out just fine. No,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, the truth is a lot of
Speaker 1: women have some drinks, a few drinks, a lot of
Speaker 1: drinks before they find out they're pregnant. That's not the issue. Smoking.
Speaker 1: If you are a smoker, if your partners a smoker,
Speaker 1: you definitely have to kick butt before you start trying
Speaker 1: to have that baby. And you know that's one of
Speaker 1: the reasons why I say, if it takes a year,
Speaker 1: it takes for a year, you want to give yourself
Speaker 1: the time that you need to quit. You don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about past smoking. So if you smoked a
Speaker 1: lot in the past, it it's not going to impact
Speaker 1: your pregnancy. Give yourself lots and lots of props for
Speaker 1: quitting now, because it really is the best gift you
Speaker 1: can give your baby. And then of course we'd um
Speaker 1: we can actually reduce fertility and guys, even if you're
Speaker 1: the one who's smoking it, because it stays in your
Speaker 1: reproductive track and it can cause slacker sperm. Okay, so
Speaker 1: we talked about the mom's way, but what about the guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they may gain a few pounds on your pregnant sympathy weight,
Speaker 1: but do they really need to lose weight before. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for guys, too many fat cells equal too much estrogen,
Speaker 1: and in stating the obvious apart it too much estrogen
Speaker 1: not such a good thing when it comes to male fertility.
Speaker 1: And the same thing for being super skinny without anybody
Speaker 1: fat that can actually decrease sperm production too. So happy
Speaker 1: medium for both of you. You can look at this
Speaker 1: as a team effort. You know, the team, teamwork, The
Speaker 1: couple that preps together makes a healthy baby together. Dad
Speaker 1: bad for the win, right, Yes, it's a whole movement.
Speaker 1: Dad bond. Not too skinny, not too heavy, little soft.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I like the dad bond. Okay, sorry
Speaker 1: to me. Regardless, teamwork makes the dreamwork. That's right, the
Speaker 1: baby dream. So, as you know, since she gave birth
Speaker 1: to me, I am four every five so this doesn't
Speaker 1: really apply to me, but for everyone else? How does
Speaker 1: age factor into this timeline for both mom and dad?
Speaker 1: I'm actually really curious because my husband's a lot older
Speaker 1: than me. He's what years older? Yeah, by this point
Speaker 1: he's getting older and older. I don't you think that, um,
Speaker 1: with the longer lifespan that we have in modern times,
Speaker 1: that our egg shelf life would have evolved to and
Speaker 1: would have gotten longer. But in fact, women are still
Speaker 1: at their most fertile before most women are even remotely
Speaker 1: ready in their lives to have a baby. So that's
Speaker 1: in their very very early twenties, and the same for guys.
Speaker 1: But just because your body is ready in your early twenties,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean your life is ready and planning your
Speaker 1: pregnancy at the time that's right for you and your
Speaker 1: partner is definitely ideal. So age is a factor, it's
Speaker 1: just not the only factor, and it's not even that
Speaker 1: huge a factor. And you've got to keep in mind
Speaker 1: fertility it doesn't drop off a cliff on your thirty
Speaker 1: fifth birthday. It's more of a gradual decline, and so
Speaker 1: it's a decline that gets steeper after the age of forty. Now,
Speaker 1: the latest stats have actually really shown really recent sets
Speaker 1: have shown that the birth rate for women under twenty four,
Speaker 1: where I was in my first pregnancy, are at record lows,
Speaker 1: and there are record highs for women over thirty five
Speaker 1: and even over forty. So maybe thirty five is the
Speaker 1: new twenty after all. When it comes to getting pregnant.
Speaker 1: Breaking it down by the numbers, if you're twenty five,
Speaker 1: your chances of getting pregnant are about twenty five in
Speaker 1: any given cycle. If you're in your late thirties, it's
Speaker 1: more like fifteen percent. That's not really a huge difference
Speaker 1: if you think about it. Now, at forty or older,
Speaker 1: you can get pregnant naturally, but your chances in a
Speaker 1: cycle or down to about five, So it's doable. It's
Speaker 1: just not as easy to do. And for guys, since
Speaker 1: you were asking Emma, the decline is more gradual and
Speaker 1: the greatest drop is after age forty five, So they
Speaker 1: can get the job done for sure, it just might
Speaker 1: take longer. David Foster got Katherine McPhee pregnant. What is
Speaker 1: he seventy? So I feel like it's possible. It's definitely possible.
Speaker 1: Congratulations to them, by the way. So if you're if
Speaker 1: you're really feeling generally ready and you feel the clock
Speaker 1: is ticking, you feel like you don't have that much
Speaker 1: reproductive wiggle time, and that's a reason you might want
Speaker 1: to expedite you're planning and cut right to the baby
Speaker 1: making chase and get busy. I literally hear this all
Speaker 1: the time. What if your relationship is so good and
Speaker 1: you're afraid that having a baby will change that. Okay,
Speaker 1: so let's start with a true story. I knew Eric
Speaker 1: her dad when I'm talking to you, and we knew
Speaker 1: each other for exactly ten months before we got pregnant.
Speaker 1: We were married for three months. Things were amazing. There's
Speaker 1: like dinners out, you know, romantic dinners, sex, more sex,
Speaker 1: more sex. But we were just the two of us
Speaker 1: for a grand total of about a year of married
Speaker 1: life before you came along. And guess what I think,
Speaker 1: weren't exactly the same as they were before you came along,
Speaker 1: But eventually they only got better and better, like deeper
Speaker 1: and deeper. You know, having a baby does change everything,
Speaker 1: but different isn't necessarily a bad thing. Different can be better,
Speaker 1: you know, it can be deeper, it can have more dimension. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe less sex, probably less x Okay, definitely less. Yeah,
Speaker 1: definitely less sex and less sleep. But you know, as
Speaker 1: long as you're prepared for change, you know, the shifting
Speaker 1: of dynamics, then change can be good. I mean, here's
Speaker 1: my thing. The best time to have a baby is
Speaker 1: when your relationship is in that good place, when you're
Speaker 1: feeling the most connected, when things are great between you,
Speaker 1: when you're like super close and connected, when your head
Speaker 1: over heels and love, you're completely crushing on each other.
Speaker 1: Then it might not be easy at first, like it
Speaker 1: never is, but ultimately having a baby together can actually
Speaker 1: bring you closer together. And the flip side of that
Speaker 1: is when you're trying to fix to your relationship by
Speaker 1: having a baby, it's usually not the best band aid
Speaker 1: for a relationship that needs fixing. So I would say
Speaker 1: fix your relationship first, get to that good place, and
Speaker 1: then have your baby. That could not be more true.
Speaker 1: I am a testament of that. What if he's ready
Speaker 1: and you're not, or you're ready and he's not. You know,
Speaker 1: you always have to be open and honest about it.
Speaker 1: You have to talk about it. It has to be
Speaker 1: a team effort right from the start. I mean if
Speaker 1: there are two team members. If you're going it alone,
Speaker 1: then of course that's that's your decision to make. But
Speaker 1: otherwise you both need to be on the same page
Speaker 1: about baby making. With Lennox, my um, my husband at
Speaker 1: the time wasn't necessarily all in. You took me to
Speaker 1: all my appointments. Is really rough, and he wasn't really involved.
Speaker 1: It wasn't teamwork making a dream work. So you know,
Speaker 1: he said he was ready, but he physically wasn't there.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think that know, having have had both
Speaker 1: both scenarios, I definitely think that the second was better
Speaker 1: because my husband was there for every appointment. He was
Speaker 1: so excited. You know, he had the ultrasound on top
Speaker 1: of his advisor in his car. It's still there, you know,
Speaker 1: it's It's like, it's just little things like that that
Speaker 1: just make that whole experience more special when you're both
Speaker 1: really excited about it. So what would you say to
Speaker 1: someone who's not share they're ready to start trying, or
Speaker 1: if they'll ever be ready to start trying? You know?
Speaker 1: For this, obviously, I have to quote Chris Rock because
Speaker 1: duh um from What to Expect When You're Expecting movie,
Speaker 1: and it's a scene where they're in the park and
Speaker 1: Rodrigo Centauro is like in a state of panic because
Speaker 1: he just found out that the adoption was coming with
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez was going to come through sooner than they expected,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden he was going to be
Speaker 1: a dad. And he's saying, I'm not ready. I'm not ready.
Speaker 1: And he says to Chris Rock, but how do you
Speaker 1: know you're ever ready? And Chris says, not a good
Speaker 1: impersonation here, but Chris says, you're never ready. You just
Speaker 1: jump onto a speeding train and you try not to die.
Speaker 1: So I think that pretty much some sit up. You
Speaker 1: can never really be ready for a life change that's
Speaker 1: as monumental as having a baby. But that's okay because
Speaker 1: nobody nobody is ever really fully ready, even if they
Speaker 1: planned and prepared and they thought they were as ready
Speaker 1: as possible. All you really can do is prepare your
Speaker 1: body the best you can feather your nests if you
Speaker 1: happen to have the chance, and then, like Chris said
Speaker 1: so profoundly, you jump on that speeding train. And if
Speaker 1: you're not ready, let's just say you're gonna get ready
Speaker 1: and a hurry real fast. Baby belof a, Baby belof
Speaker 1: I need you, Oh hell, I need you. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1: Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is
Speaker 1: always here for you. We're all in this together. For
Speaker 1: more on what you heard on today's episodes, visit what
Speaker 1: to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also check
Speaker 1: out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect
Speaker 1: the First Year, and the What to Expect app And
Speaker 1: we want to hear from you. Connect with us on
Speaker 1: our community message board or on our social media. You
Speaker 1: can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma
Speaker 1: Being w t E and of course at What to Expect.
Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Bader. What to Expect
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio from more shows
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