WEBVTT - My Divo: Juárez and Its Secrets 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:04.520 From Futuro Media and PRX. It's Latino USA. I'm Maria 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:08.039 no Josa and today another special event for us here 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:13.840 at Latino USA Episode two of My Divo. Not My Diva, 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.800 but My Devo. Because earlier this week we brought you 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:20.720 episode one of our new series by our very own 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:25.640 Futuro Studios. Today Episode two. My Devo is an Apple 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:30.000 original podcast about none other than the fabulous Juan Gabriel. 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:32.800 It's about the legacy of one of the biggest stars 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.239 in Latin America, in Mexico and in the entire Spanish 0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:41.279 speaking world. But this is also a podcast about roots, 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:46.320 about raises. In this eight episode series, available in both 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:50.280 English and in Espanol de Este Momento, our host Maria 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:54.200 Garcia explores her own roots and her own queer identity 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:59.200 through Juan Gabriel. Now you might remember Maria Garcia from 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:04.160 another Futuro Studios podcast, Remember Anything for Selena. It was 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:08.680 on multiple best of lists for the year twenty twenty one. So, 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:12.520 without further ado, here is episode two of My Devo. 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:16.120 It's called What Is and Its Secrets? And by the way, 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:20.440 this episode contains mentions of abuse, so take care while listening. 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:27.399 We're starting off in the late nineties. I'm in sixth grade. 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:31.880 My curls are gelled up and crunchy, my lipstick is 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:38.840 brown and matt and my eyebrows are severely overplucked. I'm 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:41.559 at school in class, and I'm staring at the clock 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.920 non stop, waiting for noon, because at noon, my mom 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:48.840 is supposed to pick me up from school and she's 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:57.560 gonna take me to the club. Literally, I'm going across 0:01:57.560 --> 0:01:59.760 the border to what is to a Tha of the Other, 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:03.960 a daytime dance party for youth at a nightclub without 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:08.320 the booze. My mom takes me to my cousins in Mexico, 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:14.040 where we head out to the hottest strip, a street 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:18.200 in downtown wattis right next to the border full of nightclubs, 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:24.919 where Juanga got his start. I walk into a club 0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:28.520 called Cosmo's discothe By the way, I love that my 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:33.000 first club experience was at a place called the Cosmos. Anyway, 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:37.320 the bright noon sun radiates outside, but inside my eyes 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:40.720 have to adjust to the darkness. I remember the bright 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:45.480 green strove flashes, the techno thumping in my body, the 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:54.079 disco balls glistening. I'd grown up hearing stories about these 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:57.160 hottest clubs from my mom who grew up here. And 0:02:57.200 --> 0:02:59.960 she's the kind of person who is always starting dance 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:03.880 parties at actual parties, and just like on random Tuesdays. 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:13.760 My mom is a whoa lady? You know, that's her. 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.679 The point is, I grew up with a mom who 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:20.680 treated dancing like necessary joy. And this place, this nightclub, 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:24.400 and what is it's like a temple to that joy. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:32.320 I distinctly remember feeling free. We thought we were all cool, 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:36.600 We thought we were this. That's my cousin Anna. She 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.080 was my cousin best friend growing up. If you had 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.600 a cousin best friend, you get what I mean. Anna 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.840 and I used to watch her older sisters get ready 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.240 to go clubbing, and what is? It was like a 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:49.120 rite of passage. We couldn't wait for it to be 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:53.240 our turn. I remember all of the adults in our family, 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:56.960 like you would go to dancing, you know, everyone, including 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.480 our grandma. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:03:59.880 I believe. 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.920 As teens, Anna and I would sneak around any chance 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:05.800 we could and use her older sister's IDs to try 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:09.040 to get into Hawattis clubs. But it didn't always work. 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.520 You try to usee your mom's ID. I'm never gonna 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:15.040 forget that day? What's so embarrassing? 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.480 Later, when I turned eighteen, I'd go out all the 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:21.720 time in hoatta Is since I couldn't go dancing like 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:25.280 that in the US. I'd go to swanky clubs wood 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.560 in the shape of a pyramid, where I'd dance on 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:32.040 top of bars. Then later I discovered the Hottis dives, 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:35.960 institutions that have been there for decades. One of them, 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:40.440 all Olimpigo, an old queer bar, still ends in karaoke 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:44.279 with friends every time I go singing Huanga. Of course, 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:57.680 you see, there's something singular about this city at night. 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:04.000 Its legacy is actually built on that on its nighttime culture, clubs, bars, restaurants, parties. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:09.440 Many say that it's this scene that birth Tuangabrielle. This 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:13.640 is where he first went clubbing, two where he experienced 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:17.560 a lot of first actually, and not all of them 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:22.880 were happy or known. Because what is like many nighttime cities, 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:28.560 is a place that keeps secrets, A harrowing secret about Juangabrielle, 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.880 a secret about him that forced me to confront a 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:37.960 painful secret in my own home. But today, today both 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:51.640 of these stories come out. It's time. I'm Maria Garcia 0:05:51.880 --> 0:06:13.400 and this is my devo, a podcast about roots. Okay, 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:18.640 my pleas are right here. Passport, where's my pastport. It's 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:20.760 a workday. I'm rushing out the door in my home 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.640 in El Paso, about to head to what is across 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:29.320 the border right here? Okay, I say bye to my dog, 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:38.800 a pub named Cellino. Bye Chellino by Cello. I'm going 0:06:38.800 --> 0:06:41.960 to wat Is to explore Huanga's early years, his childhood, 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:44.960 and the start of his career. Because many will tell 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:49.479 you Huanga is what is and what is is Huanga? 0:06:50.200 --> 0:06:53.360 What isang News? 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.560 The one thing that what Is was known for was Shuangarian. 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:01.440 I know right away when we crossed the border that 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:06.880 we need to visit Marie Mercedes Alvarez Vicencio aka Mece. 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:11.480 She's a legend in What Is immortalized by Huanga song 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:12.040 about her. 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:19.080 Oh you got the Meekanscha. 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.360 She was a scenister and a sex worker who started 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.080 off working the what Is night scene in the late sixties. 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:32.240 Huanga's best friend and sometimes roommate during his adolescence. She's 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:35.280 an integral part of his story. So we showed up 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.440 cold at her house, hoping for the best. We knocked 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.680 on her door, a small tenement style house in an alleyway, 0:07:42.520 --> 0:07:52.200 and she answered Hello Gary and messrs. Mitch's in her 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:56.720 seventies and wears bright pink lipstick. Peeking through the door, 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:59.680 I could see a collage of pictures of Ungavriel hung 0:07:59.680 --> 0:08:02.600 on her modest walls. She was like, who are you 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:09.920 guys in this? We introduced ourselves, and Matcha welcomed us 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:11.520 in with what is hospitality? 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:21.440 Maria merce Bi, since I can't see that what is? 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:25.320 Mitcha was born and raised and what is? She had 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.680 a rough home life and ran away as a teen, 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.880 ending up working at what is nightclubs on the strip. 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:34.760 She lived in abandoned cars and houses, and then in hotels, 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.400 trying to make enough to eat, encountering creatures of the night. 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:42.480 Sometimes I go to the bars and I talk to 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.600 the man's and I say I'm hungry. And I went 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:50.520 to Rito and they say, oh no, no, drink a beer. Push. 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:52.720 But I know what they want. 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:56.160 She learned English on the strip, talking to American partygoers 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:57.360 who paid her for sex. 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:02.720 They want take me to the hotel. Sometimes they take me, 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:06.760 they pay me, but they stole my money because here 0:09:06.960 --> 0:09:07.640 very drunk. 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:11.680 Some of her clients included US servicemen during the Vietnam 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:12.280 War era. 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:15.400 So it's lonely. It's lonely that life. 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.400 Mitcha told us about the time she saw Huanga, this 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:23.440 puppy eyed boy, standing outside Ahuattis Club, where she was 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:26.800 a regular. He approached her and said. 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:31.280 I sing if you let me go inside, because I 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:31.960 want to sing. 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:36.079 Alberto was his name. He didn't yet go by hunga Riel. 0:09:36.640 --> 0:09:38.840 Matcha said, sorry, kid, you're underage. 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:43.440 And the boss he don't want young women's and young 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:46.600 men's here in this place because the police. 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:51.120 Huanga was still too young and wasn't allowed in bars. Eventually, 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.640 Matcha took pity on the boy, who looks sad and desperate, and. 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.960 I say only one song, please. 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.839 The band members to let him in or else. 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.280 Oh, I don't want to buy you Burtus and Tortoise 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:10.360 no more. And I talked to Huanga Brian and I 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:15.480 say come here, and he comes and he sing and 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:19.080 everybody you know, they lie the way he sing. 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:26.640 After that night, Mecha and Huanga became inseparable. They were 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:31.480 both young, broke bohemians trying to survive in a party scene. 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:35.680 Sometimes they had enough to eat sometimes they didn't, but 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.000 they watched out for each other. 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:40.640 They give him when I seek, they gave me. 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:44.560 So they were facing extreme poverty, but they were also 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:48.600 resilient teens hungry for life. They went out a lot, 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.720 went dancing, They had a good time, and he. 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:58.400 Go playing cars, domino lotteria and we got fun there. 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.840 For decades, what Is was known as this liberal hub 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:12.680 where the rules of polite society didn't go. Americans like 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.880 Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor would flock here to get 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:20.040 a quick divorce. What Is was a precursor to Las Vegas. 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:26.160 Picture restaurants with perfectly fitted linen tablecloths, waiters and white jackets, 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:29.720 and clubs that stayed open all night. What has had 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:34.920 been an international party destination since Prohibition. The music of 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.680 the Mariantis says the temple for a night out filled 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:43.640 with the sights and the sounds of the border. Sex 0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:46.920 workers like Metcha would roam the bars and streets. A 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:50.360 Boston writer once called what is the most wicked city? 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:55.120 You could say? All kinds of people from different nationalities 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:58.760 coming to no on awe, not just the Americans. 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:04.000 Thisas he's been working at and eventually owning a bar 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:07.640 and what is For about sixty years he partied here 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.600 during the glory days of the Noah Noah, a club 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:20.720 that's the topic of Huanga's iconic song. In his song Juanga, 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.200 Riel wrote that the Noah Noah was a place the 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:27.560 ambiente of ambiance, which might have been a dog whistle 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:31.240 for a gay friendly club. He wrote that everything here 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:40.480 was different, a wink to open minded how is? But 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.160 what is wasn't a nighttime utopia either. 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:48.640 In some places he was mistreated, but that's the way 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.240 it was. Yeah, it was something bad. 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:56.120 You said that in some places he wasn't allowed to 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:57.360 sing because he was gay. 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:02.280 Yeah, but what does it have to do sexuality with 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:03.559 good singing. 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:11.000 I don't know people heckling Huanga, but if one club 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:14.040 wouldn't take him, Huanga would find another club that would. 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:17.679 I don't remembers Huanga as a teen, calling himself by 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:20.880 a stage name of Adan Luna, always walking down the 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:24.679 hottest strip, trying to sing for someone, carrying a little 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:28.320 notebook around where he'd write his songs. And at night, 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.040 Kuanga would bring his songs to matcha at their. 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:37.240 Hotel and he and knock my door. He say hey, 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:41.200 I want you. You hear a new song and I say, 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:45.760 oh no, no, no, no, normalistic, don't bother me. I 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:50.520 got a big hangover. Bring me a ka guama. 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:53.319 A kawama a forty, which he'd bring her. 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:58.760 And when he sing, I drinking the beer. Oh, it's 0:13:58.840 --> 0:13:59.720 a nice song. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:04.920 Oh. I love to picture teenage Huanga walking around with 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:09.240 his notebook of songs, singing them to sex workers, trying 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:12.880 to sneak into clubs. By the time he was doing that, 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:16.800 he was kind of an expert at surviving the Huatas streets. 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:21.320 He started hustling here since he was a child. That's 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.160 what I want to learn more about. When we leave 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:35.960 Metcha's house during our reporting, and what is we drive 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.000 to the house where Huangavria lived as a toddler in 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:43.200 the fifties. It's a small adobe building with a tiny 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:48.040 courtyard up front. It's here where Huanga's family arrived after 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:54.920 they'd migrated to the border looking for economic opportunities. Huanga's 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:59.320 parents were farmers in Parakuado, Micho Guan in west central Mexico. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.880 Huangavriel was still a baby, his father lost touch with 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:08.080 reality and was taken to a mental institution alone, Huanga's 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:12.200 mom migrated north with her six children, Huanga still in diapers. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.440 He talked about it to the Mexican TV host Badi 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.880 Chaboi in nineteen eighty five, saying his mom had no 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:20.840 choice but to move north in. 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:28.400 Thoss not Maskaiki as Huadishuanga's mom got a job as 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.160 a housekeeper for a rich family. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:33.200 She took Kuanga, then a toddler, with her to work 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:37.680 until the family didn't allow it anymore. According to his biography, 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:41.240 toddler Huanga spent his days with his older siblings or 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:45.240 sometimes even alone in the busy streets of Huatis, cleaning 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:49.760 cars or holding people's shopping bags for money. When Huanga 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.520 was still a small child, a woman who worked at 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.360 a shelter for kids saw him on the streets and 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.880 told his mom that Huanga could have a better life 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:01.520 at the shelter. There he could learn rather than be 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:07.320 forced to work. In interviews for his TV bio series 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:12.040 as Guangarrie talked about how even as a three year old, 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.240 he felt his life was over when he realized his 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:23.800 mom had left him at the shelter for good. Medejho, 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:32.080 one of Huanga's best friends for over forty years. Rossenda 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:35.800 Puentez says Huanga would talk to her about how tough 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:37.320 it was to have grown up there. 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:43.320 He was very, very sad at the orphanage because you 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.120 know how kids can be very cruel. They were saying 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.280 to him, how come if you have a mom, you're here, 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.800 so your mom doesn't love you? How come you are here? 0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:56.000 And he really really was hurt by that, and he 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.680 would suffer so much, and he's starting to really realize, Yeah, 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:01.640 they are right. How come if I have a mom, 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:02.200 lamb here. 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:08.000 In all his years at the shelter, he said his 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:13.280 mother only visited him a few times. Years later, Huanga 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:16.720 told the journalist Mate Delgado that he had longed for 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:19.800 love and affection, the things he didn't have. 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:27.760 No amor cari okeyoa carecido erdad, nino alesta vitternal. 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:44.560 So at thirteen, he escaped one night, he took out 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.000 the trash and just never came back. He tried to 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.520 live with his mom, but she told him he couldn't 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:54.359 stay with her. Huanga's biography says she wanted to remake 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.280 her life with a man and couldn't afford to take 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:01.080 in her thirteen year old son. In a televised interview, 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:05.040 Huanga Leader talked about how he understood that his mom 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.359 would never care for him. She had her own life 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:14.879 without him. Yes, Ubida. People who knew him during this 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.440 time talk about what an intense kid he was. Huangaviev 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:21.479 talked about it himself. He said he was old as 0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:28.600 a kid. There was a profoundness to him. Joe, you 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:31.119 can hear that in the very first song he wrote 0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:39.560 at thirteen years old. He recorded it many years later, Gonza. 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:43.720 It's about a dove in agony who looks to the 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.520 sky and asks God to let him die after being 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.080 alone in a nest, without anyone there to love or 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:51.159 care for him. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:52.760 It's Monisan. 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:01.320 I listened to the song over and over again as 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.760 I drove around how Is. I could hear a little 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:09.600 Huanga in pain, but I didn't realize to what degree 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:15.520 until a discovery weeks later at the Mexican National Archives, 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:19.760 we found a file that had been misplaced for decades. 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:23.159 It's a file from Huenga's time in prison when he 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:26.120 was a teenager. We'll tell you more about his time 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:29.600 in prison in the next episode, but for now you 0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:32.520 should know that In this file, there are pages and 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:36.720 pages of notes on Huanga Vriell's evaluations with the social 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:41.639 worker while he was detained. While at the prison, he 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:45.040 told officials this story that I think shows what young Huanga, 0:19:45.359 --> 0:19:48.879 without any family support, was going through. When he escaped 0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.880 the shelter, he said he roamed the streets of juad 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:55.040 Is looking for work. He did what he could to survive, 0:19:55.520 --> 0:20:00.399 washed other people's clothes, cleaned a church, waited tables. Then 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:04.439 he met a priest. The priest invited teenage Huanga to 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.919 live with him as his servant. The file actually uses 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:14.480 that word cente. Juangabriel agreed. Then the file reads the 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:30.440 priest raped him. Juangabriel was fourteen years old. I'd heard 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:34.720 this story before. Alejandro Perla, a video producer for Huanga, 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:38.000 had told me that some of Huanga's close friends knew 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:42.680 he'd been raped by a priest, Juang Gabriel Lo biola Una. 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.480 When Alejandro told me this, I was like, no way, 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:51.600 I'm publishing this story. Sounds like hearsay. And then at 0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:56.240 the Mexican National Archives, I confirmed the story, reading Huanga's 0:20:56.280 --> 0:21:02.240 account of the rape. Whether to publish this detail or not, 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:07.119 I consulted with other journalists, including Columbia University's Dart Center 0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:12.879 for Journalism and Trauma. I slept on it for months. Ultimately, 0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:15.919 I decided to include the secret because I think my 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:19.840 job as a journalist is to paint an honest picture 0:21:19.920 --> 0:21:24.840 of Huanga, not just his artistic legacy, but his humanity. 0:21:25.920 --> 0:21:30.320 He was so alone and desperate for safety, for a home. 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:33.639 I kept imagining what it must be like to be 0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:37.080 alone at this tender age, and in your innocence and 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:42.080 naivete and loneliness, you trust people you shouldn't because you 0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:45.439 have no one else, because your mom turned you away. 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:52.000 As I say this, I realize I'm no longer just 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:56.760 talking about Juangavriel and his mother, because thinking about a 0:21:56.840 --> 0:22:02.080 vulnerable thirteen fourteen year old Huangavriel and what is makes 0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:05.399 me think of another young adolescent once and what is 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:10.760 in my own family, another thirteen year old turned away 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:39.240 by their mother, my own mom. 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:41.840 Hey, we're back and I'm gonna turn it over to 0:22:41.880 --> 0:22:45.240 Maria Garcia once again for the rest of episode two 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:48.520 of the new Apple Original podcast from our very own 0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:52.360 Futuro Studios, my Devo. Here's Maria Garcia. 0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:57.159 Okay, I gotta tell you about my mom. She smiles 0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:01.760 at every stranger on the street, literally everyone who crosses 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:11.639 her path. She talks to dogs like they're reasoning adults. 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:20.680 She tells scandalous jokes. She makes all the kids dance 0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:27.720 at parties from Gumbia to Reggaeton. You know that story 0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:30.399 at the beginning of the episode about my mom taking 0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:33.399 me to the club. One of the reasons I cherish 0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:36.760 that memory so much is because my mom's experience with 0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:40.119 going out dancing when she was young was a complete 0:23:40.240 --> 0:23:43.760 opposite of mine. Her mom didn't drive her to the club. 0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:46.840 On the contrary, my mom wasn't really let out much. 0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:53.560 Her mom, my grandmother, worked as an overnight nurse and 0:23:53.600 --> 0:23:56.000 slept all day, so my mom had to take care 0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:59.080 of her younger siblings and fend for herself since she 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:09.320 was like nine years years old. Mama, my mom had 0:24:09.359 --> 0:24:12.879 a complicated home life, a lot of responsibilities, and she 0:24:12.960 --> 0:24:16.720 felt really alone. So when she was a teenager and 0:24:16.800 --> 0:24:19.879 friends started inviting her out, she'd sneak out any chance 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:22.840 she got. She would go dancing with her friends in 0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:25.560 Some of the same clubs were Huanga Once sang. 0:24:25.480 --> 0:24:31.080 Oka, Saba Get this boys Kimi nira, maybe n alona fla. 0:24:31.560 --> 0:24:36.600 Even if it meant coming home to a beating yallo. 0:24:38.320 --> 0:24:44.680 See see why, Lucie, they couldn't take away the dancing 0:24:44.720 --> 0:24:47.239 I'd done, she tells me as we laugh at her 0:24:47.400 --> 0:24:52.680 endearing determination to party. But I know there's something deeper here. 0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:56.760 That dancing was not just dancing for my mom, but 0:24:56.880 --> 0:25:03.920 a respite a bomb. I knew Felicie that she'd gotten 0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:07.360 a moment of happiness. 0:25:07.880 --> 0:25:15.360 Is so am that's a maximo hintonsis wow sali i nime. 0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:25.000 She had danced, jumped around with ini, been free kiriyak. 0:25:26.320 --> 0:25:28.399 Response, This. 0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:46.840 Yo had a moment of scarce pleasure to herself. One night, 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:50.520 my mom was especially excited to go out because, by 0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:54.400 some miracle, my grandma allowed her to. She was going 0:25:54.440 --> 0:25:57.200 to El Malivu, one of the night clubs where Huanga 0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.440 started out. This is one of the swankiest places in 0:26:00.560 --> 0:26:10.439 what Is, with velvet seating and disco balls, and my 0:26:10.520 --> 0:26:14.040 mom says she danced all night. Then when it was 0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:16.879 time to go, the car of the boy who was 0:26:16.920 --> 0:26:20.080 going to drive her home wouldn't start. There were no 0:26:20.200 --> 0:26:24.159 taxis around, no buses. They walked to the boy's house. 0:26:26.240 --> 0:26:36.760 The boy's dad was like, it's too late, Christen. Everyone 0:26:36.840 --> 0:26:38.719 sleep here and I'll take you home in the morning. 0:26:39.520 --> 0:26:48.720 But the next morning, my grandmother was waiting at the door. 0:26:52.880 --> 0:26:56.359 She didn't allow my mom to come in. The boy's 0:26:56.440 --> 0:27:03.840 dad tried to explain, but the details didn't matter. My 0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:07.520 mom had spent a night away from home. Oh luck, 0:27:09.280 --> 0:27:12.120 my grandmother didn't want my mom in her home anymore. 0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:15.360 Who stinks in the. 0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:21.360 My mom even begged my grandmother to do a medical 0:27:21.400 --> 0:27:24.639 exam so she could verify my mom hadn't had sex 0:27:25.280 --> 0:27:31.399 my mom. My mom pleaded, begged to be let in. 0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:34.680 My grandmother said my mom had to marry the boy. 0:27:34.800 --> 0:27:37.760 She'd gone out with a boy my mom hardly knew. 0:27:38.560 --> 0:27:42.960 The boy's family objected. My grandmother said she'd have him 0:27:43.040 --> 0:27:48.080 thrown in jail if he didn't marry my mom. My 0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:59.160 mom wept, begged. My grandmother rejected her face with no choice, 0:27:59.640 --> 0:28:04.120 my mom and the boy forcibly married. My mom was thirteen. 0:28:05.080 --> 0:28:08.840 It can easy get up by. 0:28:08.800 --> 0:28:12.880 Me at the courthouse. My grandma didn't even look back 0:28:12.920 --> 0:28:23.919 to say goodbye. Soon the boy grew angry at my mom, 0:28:23.960 --> 0:28:30.080 a terrible, terrible rage one day he raped her and 0:28:30.119 --> 0:28:36.240 then he beat her. The boy's dad saw my mom 0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:40.120 bloody and beat and told her to run away lest 0:28:40.160 --> 0:28:44.040 his son kill her. Go and beg your mother again, 0:28:44.160 --> 0:28:48.000 he said. So, my mom showed up to my grandmother's house. 0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:58.520 She pleaded again. Pil Plea said she'd fear the boy 0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:03.280 would kill her if she returned. My grandmother finally said 0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:07.640 my mom could stay under one condition that my mom 0:29:07.800 --> 0:29:11.920 pay for her own divorce. And now my grandmother said 0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:29.480 ISSI ant, she'd be even harder on my mom. My 0:29:29.560 --> 0:29:31.440 mom had to drop out of school to pay for 0:29:31.480 --> 0:29:34.880 her divorce, never having the chance to get an education 0:29:35.640 --> 0:29:39.360 to study something she liked. My mom has always told 0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:41.400 me how much she would have liked to have a career, 0:29:42.400 --> 0:29:45.640 but that was taken from her by my own grandmother. 0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:51.200 My mom held the secret for decades. She's only ever 0:29:51.280 --> 0:29:57.640 told me, not even my brother knews bit wins Mamas. 0:29:58.880 --> 0:30:01.920 I asked her why she was ashamed of what had happened. 0:30:02.840 --> 0:30:05.160 Truth querresimos and un tempo. 0:30:05.320 --> 0:30:11.800 Because back then everyone judged you, thought you were slut, 0:30:12.200 --> 0:30:19.719 thought you didn't have value. That she thought she ruined 0:30:19.760 --> 0:30:28.280 her own life. The fourth marriage was actually the most 0:30:28.320 --> 0:30:32.520 dramatic in a series of insults and hurtful things my 0:30:32.600 --> 0:30:36.640 grandmother had done to my mom. It's so hard for 0:30:36.680 --> 0:30:39.600 me to even say this, but it's clear to me 0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:43.200 now that my grandmother was abusive to my mom, hitting her, 0:30:43.720 --> 0:30:46.880 calling her a whore in front of the whole neighborhood in. 0:30:48.720 --> 0:30:49.280 Mundo. 0:30:50.040 --> 0:30:53.040 I keep thinking of this, saying, if you treat your 0:30:53.120 --> 0:31:00.000 child poorly, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves. 0:31:00.280 --> 0:31:07.560 Keramania asta apper India, Marmi Apridia. 0:31:07.760 --> 0:31:11.480