Speaker 1: From Futuro Media and PRX. It's Latino USA. I'm Maria
Speaker 1: no Josa and today another special event for us here
Speaker 1: at Latino USA Episode two of My Divo. Not My Diva,
Speaker 1: but My Devo. Because earlier this week we brought you
Speaker 1: episode one of our new series by our very own
Speaker 1: Futuro Studios. Today Episode two. My Devo is an Apple
Speaker 1: original podcast about none other than the fabulous Juan Gabriel.
Speaker 1: It's about the legacy of one of the biggest stars
Speaker 1: in Latin America, in Mexico and in the entire Spanish
Speaker 1: speaking world. But this is also a podcast about roots,
Speaker 1: about raises. In this eight episode series, available in both
Speaker 1: English and in Espanol de Este Momento, our host Maria
Speaker 1: Garcia explores her own roots and her own queer identity
Speaker 1: through Juan Gabriel. Now you might remember Maria Garcia from
Speaker 1: another Futuro Studios podcast, Remember Anything for Selena. It was
Speaker 1: on multiple best of lists for the year twenty twenty one. So,
Speaker 1: without further ado, here is episode two of My Devo.
Speaker 1: It's called What Is and Its Secrets? And by the way,
Speaker 1: this episode contains mentions of abuse, so take care while listening.
Speaker 2: We're starting off in the late nineties. I'm in sixth grade.
Speaker 2: My curls are gelled up and crunchy, my lipstick is
Speaker 2: brown and matt and my eyebrows are severely overplucked. I'm
Speaker 2: at school in class, and I'm staring at the clock
Speaker 2: non stop, waiting for noon, because at noon, my mom
Speaker 2: is supposed to pick me up from school and she's
Speaker 2: gonna take me to the club. Literally, I'm going across
Speaker 2: the border to what is to a Tha of the Other,
Speaker 2: a daytime dance party for youth at a nightclub without
Speaker 2: the booze. My mom takes me to my cousins in Mexico,
Speaker 2: where we head out to the hottest strip, a street
Speaker 2: in downtown wattis right next to the border full of nightclubs,
Speaker 2: where Juanga got his start. I walk into a club
Speaker 2: called Cosmo's discothe By the way, I love that my
Speaker 2: first club experience was at a place called the Cosmos. Anyway,
Speaker 2: the bright noon sun radiates outside, but inside my eyes
Speaker 2: have to adjust to the darkness. I remember the bright
Speaker 2: green strove flashes, the techno thumping in my body, the
Speaker 2: disco balls glistening. I'd grown up hearing stories about these
Speaker 2: hottest clubs from my mom who grew up here. And
Speaker 2: she's the kind of person who is always starting dance
Speaker 2: parties at actual parties, and just like on random Tuesdays.
Speaker 2: My mom is a whoa lady? You know, that's her.
Speaker 2: The point is, I grew up with a mom who
Speaker 2: treated dancing like necessary joy. And this place, this nightclub,
Speaker 2: and what is it's like a temple to that joy.
Speaker 2: I distinctly remember feeling free. We thought we were all cool,
Speaker 2: We thought we were this. That's my cousin Anna. She
Speaker 2: was my cousin best friend growing up. If you had
Speaker 2: a cousin best friend, you get what I mean. Anna
Speaker 2: and I used to watch her older sisters get ready
Speaker 2: to go clubbing, and what is? It was like a
Speaker 2: rite of passage. We couldn't wait for it to be
Speaker 2: our turn. I remember all of the adults in our family,
Speaker 2: like you would go to dancing, you know, everyone, including
Speaker 2: our grandma.
Speaker 3: I believe.
Speaker 2: As teens, Anna and I would sneak around any chance
Speaker 2: we could and use her older sister's IDs to try
Speaker 2: to get into Hawattis clubs. But it didn't always work.
Speaker 4: You try to usee your mom's ID. I'm never gonna
Speaker 4: forget that day? What's so embarrassing?
Speaker 2: Later, when I turned eighteen, I'd go out all the
Speaker 2: time in hoatta Is since I couldn't go dancing like
Speaker 2: that in the US. I'd go to swanky clubs wood
Speaker 2: in the shape of a pyramid, where I'd dance on
Speaker 2: top of bars. Then later I discovered the Hottis dives,
Speaker 2: institutions that have been there for decades. One of them,
Speaker 2: all Olimpigo, an old queer bar, still ends in karaoke
Speaker 2: with friends every time I go singing Huanga. Of course,
Speaker 2: you see, there's something singular about this city at night.
Speaker 2: Its legacy is actually built on that on its nighttime culture, clubs, bars, restaurants, parties.
Speaker 2: Many say that it's this scene that birth Tuangabrielle. This
Speaker 2: is where he first went clubbing, two where he experienced
Speaker 2: a lot of first actually, and not all of them
Speaker 2: were happy or known. Because what is like many nighttime cities,
Speaker 2: is a place that keeps secrets, A harrowing secret about Juangabrielle,
Speaker 2: a secret about him that forced me to confront a
Speaker 2: painful secret in my own home. But today, today both
Speaker 2: of these stories come out. It's time. I'm Maria Garcia
Speaker 2: and this is my devo, a podcast about roots. Okay,
Speaker 2: my pleas are right here. Passport, where's my pastport. It's
Speaker 2: a workday. I'm rushing out the door in my home
Speaker 2: in El Paso, about to head to what is across
Speaker 2: the border right here? Okay, I say bye to my dog,
Speaker 2: a pub named Cellino. Bye Chellino by Cello. I'm going
Speaker 2: to wat Is to explore Huanga's early years, his childhood,
Speaker 2: and the start of his career. Because many will tell
Speaker 2: you Huanga is what is and what is is Huanga?
Speaker 2: What isang News?
Speaker 5: The one thing that what Is was known for was Shuangarian.
Speaker 2: I know right away when we crossed the border that
Speaker 2: we need to visit Marie Mercedes Alvarez Vicencio aka Mece.
Speaker 2: She's a legend in What Is immortalized by Huanga song
Speaker 2: about her.
Speaker 6: Oh you got the Meekanscha.
Speaker 2: She was a scenister and a sex worker who started
Speaker 2: off working the what Is night scene in the late sixties.
Speaker 2: Huanga's best friend and sometimes roommate during his adolescence. She's
Speaker 2: an integral part of his story. So we showed up
Speaker 2: cold at her house, hoping for the best. We knocked
Speaker 2: on her door, a small tenement style house in an alleyway,
Speaker 2: and she answered Hello Gary and messrs. Mitch's in her
Speaker 2: seventies and wears bright pink lipstick. Peeking through the door,
Speaker 2: I could see a collage of pictures of Ungavriel hung
Speaker 2: on her modest walls. She was like, who are you
Speaker 2: guys in this? We introduced ourselves, and Matcha welcomed us
Speaker 2: in with what is hospitality?
Speaker 6: Maria merce Bi, since I can't see that what is?
Speaker 2: Mitcha was born and raised and what is? She had
Speaker 2: a rough home life and ran away as a teen,
Speaker 2: ending up working at what is nightclubs on the strip.
Speaker 2: She lived in abandoned cars and houses, and then in hotels,
Speaker 2: trying to make enough to eat, encountering creatures of the night.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I go to the bars and I talk to
Speaker 6: the man's and I say I'm hungry. And I went
Speaker 6: to Rito and they say, oh no, no, drink a beer. Push.
Speaker 6: But I know what they want.
Speaker 2: She learned English on the strip, talking to American partygoers
Speaker 2: who paid her for sex.
Speaker 6: They want take me to the hotel. Sometimes they take me,
Speaker 6: they pay me, but they stole my money because here
Speaker 6: very drunk.
Speaker 2: Some of her clients included US servicemen during the Vietnam
Speaker 2: War era.
Speaker 6: So it's lonely. It's lonely that life.
Speaker 2: Mitcha told us about the time she saw Huanga, this
Speaker 2: puppy eyed boy, standing outside Ahuattis Club, where she was
Speaker 2: a regular. He approached her and said.
Speaker 6: I sing if you let me go inside, because I
Speaker 6: want to sing.
Speaker 2: Alberto was his name. He didn't yet go by hunga Riel.
Speaker 2: Matcha said, sorry, kid, you're underage.
Speaker 6: And the boss he don't want young women's and young
Speaker 6: men's here in this place because the police.
Speaker 2: Huanga was still too young and wasn't allowed in bars. Eventually,
Speaker 2: Matcha took pity on the boy, who looks sad and desperate, and.
Speaker 6: I say only one song, please.
Speaker 2: The band members to let him in or else.
Speaker 6: Oh, I don't want to buy you Burtus and Tortoise
Speaker 6: no more. And I talked to Huanga Brian and I
Speaker 6: say come here, and he comes and he sing and
Speaker 6: everybody you know, they lie the way he sing.
Speaker 2: After that night, Mecha and Huanga became inseparable. They were
Speaker 2: both young, broke bohemians trying to survive in a party scene.
Speaker 2: Sometimes they had enough to eat sometimes they didn't, but
Speaker 2: they watched out for each other.
Speaker 6: They give him when I seek, they gave me.
Speaker 2: So they were facing extreme poverty, but they were also
Speaker 2: resilient teens hungry for life. They went out a lot,
Speaker 2: went dancing, They had a good time, and he.
Speaker 6: Go playing cars, domino lotteria and we got fun there.
Speaker 2: For decades, what Is was known as this liberal hub
Speaker 2: where the rules of polite society didn't go. Americans like
Speaker 2: Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor would flock here to get
Speaker 2: a quick divorce. What Is was a precursor to Las Vegas.
Speaker 2: Picture restaurants with perfectly fitted linen tablecloths, waiters and white jackets,
Speaker 2: and clubs that stayed open all night. What has had
Speaker 2: been an international party destination since Prohibition. The music of
Speaker 2: the Mariantis says the temple for a night out filled
Speaker 2: with the sights and the sounds of the border. Sex
Speaker 2: workers like Metcha would roam the bars and streets. A
Speaker 2: Boston writer once called what is the most wicked city?
Speaker 3: You could say? All kinds of people from different nationalities
Speaker 3: coming to no on awe, not just the Americans.
Speaker 2: Thisas he's been working at and eventually owning a bar
Speaker 2: and what is For about sixty years he partied here
Speaker 2: during the glory days of the Noah Noah, a club
Speaker 2: that's the topic of Huanga's iconic song. In his song Juanga,
Speaker 2: Riel wrote that the Noah Noah was a place the
Speaker 2: ambiente of ambiance, which might have been a dog whistle
Speaker 2: for a gay friendly club. He wrote that everything here
Speaker 2: was different, a wink to open minded how is? But
Speaker 2: what is wasn't a nighttime utopia either.
Speaker 3: In some places he was mistreated, but that's the way
Speaker 3: it was. Yeah, it was something bad.
Speaker 2: You said that in some places he wasn't allowed to
Speaker 2: sing because he was gay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what does it have to do sexuality with
Speaker 3: good singing.
Speaker 2: I don't know people heckling Huanga, but if one club
Speaker 2: wouldn't take him, Huanga would find another club that would.
Speaker 2: I don't remembers Huanga as a teen, calling himself by
Speaker 2: a stage name of Adan Luna, always walking down the
Speaker 2: hottest strip, trying to sing for someone, carrying a little
Speaker 2: notebook around where he'd write his songs. And at night,
Speaker 2: Kuanga would bring his songs to matcha at their.
Speaker 6: Hotel and he and knock my door. He say hey,
Speaker 6: I want you. You hear a new song and I say,
Speaker 6: oh no, no, no, no, normalistic, don't bother me. I
Speaker 6: got a big hangover. Bring me a ka guama.
Speaker 2: A kawama a forty, which he'd bring her.
Speaker 6: And when he sing, I drinking the beer. Oh, it's
Speaker 6: a nice song.
Speaker 2: Oh. I love to picture teenage Huanga walking around with
Speaker 2: his notebook of songs, singing them to sex workers, trying
Speaker 2: to sneak into clubs. By the time he was doing that,
Speaker 2: he was kind of an expert at surviving the Huatas streets.
Speaker 2: He started hustling here since he was a child. That's
Speaker 2: what I want to learn more about. When we leave
Speaker 2: Metcha's house during our reporting, and what is we drive
Speaker 2: to the house where Huangavria lived as a toddler in
Speaker 2: the fifties. It's a small adobe building with a tiny
Speaker 2: courtyard up front. It's here where Huanga's family arrived after
Speaker 2: they'd migrated to the border looking for economic opportunities. Huanga's
Speaker 2: parents were farmers in Parakuado, Micho Guan in west central Mexico.
Speaker 2: Huangavriel was still a baby, his father lost touch with
Speaker 2: reality and was taken to a mental institution alone, Huanga's
Speaker 2: mom migrated north with her six children, Huanga still in diapers.
Speaker 2: He talked about it to the Mexican TV host Badi
Speaker 2: Chaboi in nineteen eighty five, saying his mom had no
Speaker 2: choice but to move north in.
Speaker 4: Thoss not Maskaiki as Huadishuanga's mom got a job as
Speaker 4: a housekeeper for a rich family.
Speaker 2: She took Kuanga, then a toddler, with her to work
Speaker 2: until the family didn't allow it anymore. According to his biography,
Speaker 2: toddler Huanga spent his days with his older siblings or
Speaker 2: sometimes even alone in the busy streets of Huatis, cleaning
Speaker 2: cars or holding people's shopping bags for money. When Huanga
Speaker 2: was still a small child, a woman who worked at
Speaker 2: a shelter for kids saw him on the streets and
Speaker 2: told his mom that Huanga could have a better life
Speaker 2: at the shelter. There he could learn rather than be
Speaker 2: forced to work. In interviews for his TV bio series
Speaker 2: as Guangarrie talked about how even as a three year old,
Speaker 2: he felt his life was over when he realized his
Speaker 2: mom had left him at the shelter for good. Medejho,
Speaker 2: one of Huanga's best friends for over forty years. Rossenda
Speaker 2: Puentez says Huanga would talk to her about how tough
Speaker 2: it was to have grown up there.
Speaker 5: He was very, very sad at the orphanage because you
Speaker 5: know how kids can be very cruel. They were saying
Speaker 5: to him, how come if you have a mom, you're here,
Speaker 5: so your mom doesn't love you? How come you are here?
Speaker 5: And he really really was hurt by that, and he
Speaker 5: would suffer so much, and he's starting to really realize, Yeah,
Speaker 5: they are right. How come if I have a mom,
Speaker 5: lamb here.
Speaker 2: In all his years at the shelter, he said his
Speaker 2: mother only visited him a few times. Years later, Huanga
Speaker 2: told the journalist Mate Delgado that he had longed for
Speaker 2: love and affection, the things he didn't have.
Speaker 4: No amor cari okeyoa carecido erdad, nino alesta vitternal.
Speaker 2: So at thirteen, he escaped one night, he took out
Speaker 2: the trash and just never came back. He tried to
Speaker 2: live with his mom, but she told him he couldn't
Speaker 2: stay with her. Huanga's biography says she wanted to remake
Speaker 2: her life with a man and couldn't afford to take
Speaker 2: in her thirteen year old son. In a televised interview,
Speaker 2: Huanga Leader talked about how he understood that his mom
Speaker 2: would never care for him. She had her own life
Speaker 2: without him. Yes, Ubida. People who knew him during this
Speaker 2: time talk about what an intense kid he was. Huangaviev
Speaker 2: talked about it himself. He said he was old as
Speaker 2: a kid. There was a profoundness to him. Joe, you
Speaker 2: can hear that in the very first song he wrote
Speaker 2: at thirteen years old. He recorded it many years later, Gonza.
Speaker 2: It's about a dove in agony who looks to the
Speaker 2: sky and asks God to let him die after being
Speaker 2: alone in a nest, without anyone there to love or
Speaker 2: care for him.
Speaker 7: It's Monisan.
Speaker 2: I listened to the song over and over again as
Speaker 2: I drove around how Is. I could hear a little
Speaker 2: Huanga in pain, but I didn't realize to what degree
Speaker 2: until a discovery weeks later at the Mexican National Archives,
Speaker 2: we found a file that had been misplaced for decades.
Speaker 2: It's a file from Huenga's time in prison when he
Speaker 2: was a teenager. We'll tell you more about his time
Speaker 2: in prison in the next episode, but for now you
Speaker 2: should know that In this file, there are pages and
Speaker 2: pages of notes on Huanga Vriell's evaluations with the social
Speaker 2: worker while he was detained. While at the prison, he
Speaker 2: told officials this story that I think shows what young Huanga,
Speaker 2: without any family support, was going through. When he escaped
Speaker 2: the shelter, he said he roamed the streets of juad
Speaker 2: Is looking for work. He did what he could to survive,
Speaker 2: washed other people's clothes, cleaned a church, waited tables. Then
Speaker 2: he met a priest. The priest invited teenage Huanga to
Speaker 2: live with him as his servant. The file actually uses
Speaker 2: that word cente. Juangabriel agreed. Then the file reads the
Speaker 2: priest raped him. Juangabriel was fourteen years old. I'd heard
Speaker 2: this story before. Alejandro Perla, a video producer for Huanga,
Speaker 2: had told me that some of Huanga's close friends knew
Speaker 2: he'd been raped by a priest, Juang Gabriel Lo biola Una.
Speaker 2: When Alejandro told me this, I was like, no way,
Speaker 2: I'm publishing this story. Sounds like hearsay. And then at
Speaker 2: the Mexican National Archives, I confirmed the story, reading Huanga's
Speaker 2: account of the rape. Whether to publish this detail or not,
Speaker 2: I consulted with other journalists, including Columbia University's Dart Center
Speaker 2: for Journalism and Trauma. I slept on it for months. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: I decided to include the secret because I think my
Speaker 2: job as a journalist is to paint an honest picture
Speaker 2: of Huanga, not just his artistic legacy, but his humanity.
Speaker 2: He was so alone and desperate for safety, for a home.
Speaker 2: I kept imagining what it must be like to be
Speaker 2: alone at this tender age, and in your innocence and
Speaker 2: naivete and loneliness, you trust people you shouldn't because you
Speaker 2: have no one else, because your mom turned you away.
Speaker 2: As I say this, I realize I'm no longer just
Speaker 2: talking about Juangavriel and his mother, because thinking about a
Speaker 2: vulnerable thirteen fourteen year old Huangavriel and what is makes
Speaker 2: me think of another young adolescent once and what is
Speaker 2: in my own family, another thirteen year old turned away
Speaker 2: by their mother, my own mom.
Speaker 1: Hey, we're back and I'm gonna turn it over to
Speaker 1: Maria Garcia once again for the rest of episode two
Speaker 1: of the new Apple Original podcast from our very own
Speaker 1: Futuro Studios, my Devo. Here's Maria Garcia.
Speaker 2: Okay, I gotta tell you about my mom. She smiles
Speaker 2: at every stranger on the street, literally everyone who crosses
Speaker 2: her path. She talks to dogs like they're reasoning adults.
Speaker 2: She tells scandalous jokes. She makes all the kids dance
Speaker 2: at parties from Gumbia to Reggaeton. You know that story
Speaker 2: at the beginning of the episode about my mom taking
Speaker 2: me to the club. One of the reasons I cherish
Speaker 2: that memory so much is because my mom's experience with
Speaker 2: going out dancing when she was young was a complete
Speaker 2: opposite of mine. Her mom didn't drive her to the club.
Speaker 2: On the contrary, my mom wasn't really let out much.
Speaker 2: Her mom, my grandmother, worked as an overnight nurse and
Speaker 2: slept all day, so my mom had to take care
Speaker 2: of her younger siblings and fend for herself since she
Speaker 2: was like nine years years old. Mama, my mom had
Speaker 2: a complicated home life, a lot of responsibilities, and she
Speaker 2: felt really alone. So when she was a teenager and
Speaker 2: friends started inviting her out, she'd sneak out any chance
Speaker 2: she got. She would go dancing with her friends in
Speaker 2: Some of the same clubs were Huanga Once sang.
Speaker 7: Oka, Saba Get this boys Kimi nira, maybe n alona fla.
Speaker 2: Even if it meant coming home to a beating yallo.
Speaker 2: See see why, Lucie, they couldn't take away the dancing
Speaker 2: I'd done, she tells me as we laugh at her
Speaker 2: endearing determination to party. But I know there's something deeper here.
Speaker 2: That dancing was not just dancing for my mom, but
Speaker 2: a respite a bomb. I knew Felicie that she'd gotten
Speaker 2: a moment of happiness.
Speaker 7: Is so am that's a maximo hintonsis wow sali i nime.
Speaker 2: She had danced, jumped around with ini, been free kiriyak.
Speaker 7: Response, This.
Speaker 2: Yo had a moment of scarce pleasure to herself. One night,
Speaker 2: my mom was especially excited to go out because, by
Speaker 2: some miracle, my grandma allowed her to. She was going
Speaker 2: to El Malivu, one of the night clubs where Huanga
Speaker 2: started out. This is one of the swankiest places in
Speaker 2: what Is, with velvet seating and disco balls, and my
Speaker 2: mom says she danced all night. Then when it was
Speaker 2: time to go, the car of the boy who was
Speaker 2: going to drive her home wouldn't start. There were no
Speaker 2: taxis around, no buses. They walked to the boy's house.
Speaker 2: The boy's dad was like, it's too late, Christen. Everyone
Speaker 2: sleep here and I'll take you home in the morning.
Speaker 2: But the next morning, my grandmother was waiting at the door.
Speaker 2: She didn't allow my mom to come in. The boy's
Speaker 2: dad tried to explain, but the details didn't matter. My
Speaker 2: mom had spent a night away from home. Oh luck,
Speaker 2: my grandmother didn't want my mom in her home anymore.
Speaker 4: Who stinks in the.
Speaker 2: My mom even begged my grandmother to do a medical
Speaker 2: exam so she could verify my mom hadn't had sex
Speaker 2: my mom. My mom pleaded, begged to be let in.
Speaker 2: My grandmother said my mom had to marry the boy.
Speaker 2: She'd gone out with a boy my mom hardly knew.
Speaker 2: The boy's family objected. My grandmother said she'd have him
Speaker 2: thrown in jail if he didn't marry my mom. My
Speaker 2: mom wept, begged. My grandmother rejected her face with no choice,
Speaker 2: my mom and the boy forcibly married. My mom was thirteen.
Speaker 7: It can easy get up by.
Speaker 2: Me at the courthouse. My grandma didn't even look back
Speaker 2: to say goodbye. Soon the boy grew angry at my mom,
Speaker 2: a terrible, terrible rage one day he raped her and
Speaker 2: then he beat her. The boy's dad saw my mom
Speaker 2: bloody and beat and told her to run away lest
Speaker 2: his son kill her. Go and beg your mother again,
Speaker 2: he said. So, my mom showed up to my grandmother's house.
Speaker 2: She pleaded again. Pil Plea said she'd fear the boy
Speaker 2: would kill her if she returned. My grandmother finally said
Speaker 2: my mom could stay under one condition that my mom
Speaker 2: pay for her own divorce. And now my grandmother said
Speaker 2: ISSI ant, she'd be even harder on my mom. My
Speaker 2: mom had to drop out of school to pay for
Speaker 2: her divorce, never having the chance to get an education
Speaker 2: to study something she liked. My mom has always told
Speaker 2: me how much she would have liked to have a career,
Speaker 2: but that was taken from her by my own grandmother.
Speaker 2: My mom held the secret for decades. She's only ever
Speaker 2: told me, not even my brother knews bit wins Mamas.
Speaker 2: I asked her why she was ashamed of what had happened.
Speaker 7: Truth querresimos and un tempo.
Speaker 2: Because back then everyone judged you, thought you were slut,
Speaker 2: thought you didn't have value. That she thought she ruined
Speaker 2: her own life. The fourth marriage was actually the most
Speaker 2: dramatic in a series of insults and hurtful things my
Speaker 2: grandmother had done to my mom. It's so hard for
Speaker 2: me to even say this, but it's clear to me
Speaker 2: now that my grandmother was abusive to my mom, hitting her,
Speaker 2: calling her a whore in front of the whole neighborhood in.
Speaker 7: Mundo.
Speaker 2: I keep thinking of this, saying, if you treat your
Speaker 2: child poorly, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves.
Speaker 7: Keramania asta apper India, Marmi Apridia.
Speaker 2: Only now did I learn to love myself. My mom
Speaker 2: tells me to know that I have value. It took
Speaker 2: me all these years. I asked her why she was
Speaker 2: ready to tell this story now, is Maniram. It's a
Speaker 2: way to liberate herself. Back in juad Is on that
Speaker 2: reporting trip where we started this episode, we ended the
Speaker 2: day in an alley called Gajejon and it houses run
Speaker 2: down tenements where Huanga lived with Mech and other sex
Speaker 2: workers as a sixteen year old. It's easy for me
Speaker 2: to picture Huanga here. In fact, that's all I've been
Speaker 2: doing my entire time in what is imagining him. But
Speaker 2: I think that if I want to really understand his story,
Speaker 2: I have to try and picture his.
Speaker 5: Mom Amelita Sumama a persona no.
Speaker 2: Huangabriel's niece, Sylvia Guilera told me that Huanga's mom was
Speaker 2: indeed not an affectionate.
Speaker 5: Person yokrokel Catrine ask in Naasi.
Speaker 2: Because of the emotional way she'd been carrying. Sylvia said
Speaker 2: she remembers her Rhando, always working, fu Mando, smoking heativa,
Speaker 2: lost in thought and worry. It's so clear to me
Speaker 2: that this is a woman in survival mode, tasked with
Speaker 2: the most essential keep her children alive, safe, even if
Speaker 2: it means leaving them in a shelter. Maybe that's why,
Speaker 2: despite the harm she had caused, Wanga spoke about his
Speaker 2: mom with such grace. He said in interviews for his
Speaker 2: bio series that one of the most beautiful things in
Speaker 2: life is to understand, accept and forgive.
Speaker 4: Thenido Aldos.
Speaker 2: In nineteen ninety two, he told a TV host that
Speaker 2: even though he had bad memories, he extracted a lot
Speaker 2: of good from them.
Speaker 4: But okay, alous, okay, algin as persons are you arlist,
Speaker 4: which is a momehor He.
Speaker 2: Could be a better help to others because he had
Speaker 2: this perspective, this pain I see that in his art,
Speaker 2: like in amode Terno, the iconic ballad he wrote about
Speaker 2: losing his mom, Kidia can see you are the sadness
Speaker 2: in my eyes, He sings, my eyes who cry in silence,
Speaker 2: longing for your love. If you're Latin American, especially if
Speaker 2: you're Mexican, chances are you've seen someone openly weep to
Speaker 2: this song. Something about the guttural and elegant way it
Speaker 2: captures grief like a lot of Latinez. I saw my
Speaker 2: mom cry over my grandmother to this song, and every
Speaker 2: time she'd tell.
Speaker 7: Me Petro, Poe and Mama.
Speaker 2: She was a great mom who struggled for us. My
Speaker 2: grandmother later regretted the way she had treated my mom
Speaker 2: as a teenager, and she evolved. She was a doting
Speaker 2: grandmother who was kind to me, always told me how
Speaker 2: smart I was, how proud of me she was. It's
Speaker 2: clear to me that my grandmother was at an acute,
Speaker 2: stressful moment in her life when my mom was a child.
Speaker 2: She was alone, raising five children, probably with a ton
Speaker 2: of unresolved trauma. How can I judge my grandmother when
Speaker 2: my life allows me to pursue my dreams and her
Speaker 2: life only made space for survival, and yes, she caused harm,
Speaker 2: but she also passed down a lot of beauty. My
Speaker 2: mom and I got our big hearty laugh from my grandmother,
Speaker 2: and our love of dancing and music comes from her too.
Speaker 2: I honestly think that's one of the greatest treasures in
Speaker 2: my life that women in my family showed me how
Speaker 2: to be unapologetically joyful. That's ultimately why my mom drove
Speaker 2: me to my first third the other the nightclub for teens.
Speaker 2: At the beginning of the episode, she treated me as
Speaker 2: if experiencing joy was my birthright. I think about all
Speaker 2: the nights I've had in Hauatas since as I pass
Speaker 2: all the nightclubs on the strip at the end of
Speaker 2: our reporting day, I have my mom to thank every
Speaker 2: time my friends and I karaoke. My favorite Huanga song
Speaker 2: a deep cut called Ell Noah Noah those not to
Speaker 2: be confused with the original Noah Noah. It's a song
Speaker 2: about the beauty of being young and free. In What
Speaker 2: Is at Night, Kuanga sings about meeting someone at the club,
Speaker 2: spotting them from afar, giving them a sexy smile. I
Speaker 2: feel like Kuanga is narrating many of my what is
Speaker 2: club memories. I wish my mom would have had more
Speaker 2: of these memories. She didn't get those things, but somehow
Speaker 2: she gave them to me. She gave me what is
Speaker 2: at night. She gave me a youth. And today she
Speaker 2: gave me the honor of telling a part of her story,
Speaker 2: the secret that I had carried alone for years, resigning
Speaker 2: myself to believe it was my cross to beeras the
Speaker 2: only daughter of my Mexican mom. And then my mom
Speaker 2: was like, no, no more crosses, no more shame. We
Speaker 2: have nothing to hide. We are free. Coming up on
Speaker 2: episode three, we look back on Huanga's time in one
Speaker 2: of the most feared prisons in Mexico.
Speaker 6: It was a temple of horrors, to say the least.
Speaker 2: Before Huanga was Juanga Rielle, he was incarcerated at Legumberi Prison,
Speaker 2: And in reporting I came across a chapter in Huanga's
Speaker 2: life that has never been told true now when I
Speaker 2: found at the Mexican National Archives, like completely changes this story.
Speaker 2: It left me a bit shook.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And it's this phase of his life that marked him forever.
Speaker 2: And that's all coming up in the next episode. If
Speaker 2: you or someone you know need support, go to Apple
Speaker 2: dot com slash here to help for resources. Madivo is
Speaker 2: an Apple original podcast produced by Futuo Studios. This episode
Speaker 2: was written and reported by Me, Maria Garcia and Fernanda Echavarri.
Speaker 2: Our editor is Moreland Bishop. Our senior producer is Fernanda Echavarri.
Speaker 2: The show is produced by Nicole Rothwell, Gini Montalvo, Lili Res,
Speaker 2: Taquine Kottler, Tasha sannoal and Alicia Fernandez. Spanish adaptation by
Speaker 2: Ezequiel Rodriguez Andino and Fernando Ernandez Besserra. Our senior production
Speaker 2: managers are Nicole Rothwell and Jessica Ellis, with post production
Speaker 2: support from Nancy Trujillo. Mixing by Stephanie Lebau, Julia Caruso
Speaker 2: and Gabriela Biaz. Fact checking by Nidia Bautista. Our original
Speaker 2: music is by Paul Weitkis, scoring and musical curation by
Speaker 2: Stephanie Lebau. Our executive producers are Marlon Bishop and Me.
Speaker 2: Legal review by Neil Rossini, Adrian Ojeda Cuevas, Jimena Juigi
Speaker 2: and Sergio Gomez. Futuro Media was founded by Maria Inojosa.
Speaker 2: Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts. I'm Maria Garcia. Thank
Speaker 2: you for listening. See you next time.