1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: From Futuro Media and PRX. It's Latino USA. I'm Maria 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: no Josa and today another special event for us here 3 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: at Latino USA Episode two of My Divo. Not My Diva, 4 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,800 Speaker 1: but My Devo. Because earlier this week we brought you 5 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: episode one of our new series by our very own 6 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: Futuro Studios. Today Episode two. My Devo is an Apple 7 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: original podcast about none other than the fabulous Juan Gabriel. 8 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: It's about the legacy of one of the biggest stars 9 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: in Latin America, in Mexico and in the entire Spanish 10 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 1: speaking world. But this is also a podcast about roots, 11 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: about raises. In this eight episode series, available in both 12 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: English and in Espanol de Este Momento, our host Maria 13 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: Garcia explores her own roots and her own queer identity 14 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: through Juan Gabriel. Now you might remember Maria Garcia from 15 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: another Futuro Studios podcast, Remember Anything for Selena. It was 16 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 1: on multiple best of lists for the year twenty twenty one. So, 17 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: without further ado, here is episode two of My Devo. 18 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: It's called What Is and Its Secrets? And by the way, 19 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: this episode contains mentions of abuse, so take care while listening. 20 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 2: We're starting off in the late nineties. I'm in sixth grade. 21 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 2: My curls are gelled up and crunchy, my lipstick is 22 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 2: brown and matt and my eyebrows are severely overplucked. I'm 23 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,559 Speaker 2: at school in class, and I'm staring at the clock 24 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 2: non stop, waiting for noon, because at noon, my mom 25 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 2: is supposed to pick me up from school and she's 26 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: gonna take me to the club. Literally, I'm going across 27 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 2: the border to what is to a Tha of the Other, 28 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: a daytime dance party for youth at a nightclub without 29 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 2: the booze. My mom takes me to my cousins in Mexico, 30 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: where we head out to the hottest strip, a street 31 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: in downtown wattis right next to the border full of nightclubs, 32 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 2: where Juanga got his start. I walk into a club 33 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 2: called Cosmo's discothe By the way, I love that my 34 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: first club experience was at a place called the Cosmos. Anyway, 35 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 2: the bright noon sun radiates outside, but inside my eyes 36 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 2: have to adjust to the darkness. I remember the bright 37 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: green strove flashes, the techno thumping in my body, the 38 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 2: disco balls glistening. I'd grown up hearing stories about these 39 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 2: hottest clubs from my mom who grew up here. And 40 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 2: she's the kind of person who is always starting dance 41 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 2: parties at actual parties, and just like on random Tuesdays. 42 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 2: My mom is a whoa lady? You know, that's her. 43 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,679 Speaker 2: The point is, I grew up with a mom who 44 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: treated dancing like necessary joy. And this place, this nightclub, 45 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 2: and what is it's like a temple to that joy. 46 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 2: I distinctly remember feeling free. We thought we were all cool, 47 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: We thought we were this. That's my cousin Anna. She 48 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 2: was my cousin best friend growing up. If you had 49 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 2: a cousin best friend, you get what I mean. Anna 50 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 2: and I used to watch her older sisters get ready 51 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: to go clubbing, and what is? It was like a 52 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 2: rite of passage. We couldn't wait for it to be 53 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 2: our turn. I remember all of the adults in our family, 54 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 2: like you would go to dancing, you know, everyone, including 55 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: our grandma. 56 00:03:59,320 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 3: I believe. 57 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: As teens, Anna and I would sneak around any chance 58 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 2: we could and use her older sister's IDs to try 59 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 2: to get into Hawattis clubs. But it didn't always work. 60 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 4: You try to usee your mom's ID. I'm never gonna 61 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 4: forget that day? What's so embarrassing? 62 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 2: Later, when I turned eighteen, I'd go out all the 63 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 2: time in hoatta Is since I couldn't go dancing like 64 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 2: that in the US. I'd go to swanky clubs wood 65 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 2: in the shape of a pyramid, where I'd dance on 66 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 2: top of bars. Then later I discovered the Hottis dives, 67 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 2: institutions that have been there for decades. One of them, 68 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 2: all Olimpigo, an old queer bar, still ends in karaoke 69 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 2: with friends every time I go singing Huanga. Of course, 70 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: you see, there's something singular about this city at night. 71 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 2: Its legacy is actually built on that on its nighttime culture, clubs, bars, restaurants, parties. 72 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 2: Many say that it's this scene that birth Tuangabrielle. This 73 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: is where he first went clubbing, two where he experienced 74 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 2: a lot of first actually, and not all of them 75 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 2: were happy or known. Because what is like many nighttime cities, 76 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: is a place that keeps secrets, A harrowing secret about Juangabrielle, 77 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: a secret about him that forced me to confront a 78 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 2: painful secret in my own home. But today, today both 79 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 2: of these stories come out. It's time. I'm Maria Garcia 80 00:05:51,880 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 2: and this is my devo, a podcast about roots. Okay, 81 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 2: my pleas are right here. Passport, where's my pastport. It's 82 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 2: a workday. I'm rushing out the door in my home 83 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: in El Paso, about to head to what is across 84 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 2: the border right here? Okay, I say bye to my dog, 85 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 2: a pub named Cellino. Bye Chellino by Cello. I'm going 86 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 2: to wat Is to explore Huanga's early years, his childhood, 87 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: and the start of his career. Because many will tell 88 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 2: you Huanga is what is and what is is Huanga? 89 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,360 Speaker 2: What isang News? 90 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 5: The one thing that what Is was known for was Shuangarian. 91 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 2: I know right away when we crossed the border that 92 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 2: we need to visit Marie Mercedes Alvarez Vicencio aka Mece. 93 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 2: She's a legend in What Is immortalized by Huanga song 94 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: about her. 95 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 6: Oh you got the Meekanscha. 96 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 2: She was a scenister and a sex worker who started 97 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 2: off working the what Is night scene in the late sixties. 98 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 2: Huanga's best friend and sometimes roommate during his adolescence. She's 99 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 2: an integral part of his story. So we showed up 100 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 2: cold at her house, hoping for the best. We knocked 101 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,680 Speaker 2: on her door, a small tenement style house in an alleyway, 102 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: and she answered Hello Gary and messrs. Mitch's in her 103 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: seventies and wears bright pink lipstick. Peeking through the door, 104 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 2: I could see a collage of pictures of Ungavriel hung 105 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 2: on her modest walls. She was like, who are you 106 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 2: guys in this? We introduced ourselves, and Matcha welcomed us 107 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: in with what is hospitality? 108 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 6: Maria merce Bi, since I can't see that what is? 109 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 2: Mitcha was born and raised and what is? She had 110 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 2: a rough home life and ran away as a teen, 111 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 2: ending up working at what is nightclubs on the strip. 112 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: She lived in abandoned cars and houses, and then in hotels, 113 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 2: trying to make enough to eat, encountering creatures of the night. 114 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 6: Sometimes I go to the bars and I talk to 115 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 6: the man's and I say I'm hungry. And I went 116 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 6: to Rito and they say, oh no, no, drink a beer. Push. 117 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 6: But I know what they want. 118 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 2: She learned English on the strip, talking to American partygoers 119 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 2: who paid her for sex. 120 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 6: They want take me to the hotel. Sometimes they take me, 121 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 6: they pay me, but they stole my money because here 122 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 6: very drunk. 123 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 2: Some of her clients included US servicemen during the Vietnam 124 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: War era. 125 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 6: So it's lonely. It's lonely that life. 126 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 2: Mitcha told us about the time she saw Huanga, this 127 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 2: puppy eyed boy, standing outside Ahuattis Club, where she was 128 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 2: a regular. He approached her and said. 129 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 6: I sing if you let me go inside, because I 130 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 6: want to sing. 131 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,079 Speaker 2: Alberto was his name. He didn't yet go by hunga Riel. 132 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 2: Matcha said, sorry, kid, you're underage. 133 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 6: And the boss he don't want young women's and young 134 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 6: men's here in this place because the police. 135 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 2: Huanga was still too young and wasn't allowed in bars. Eventually, 136 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 2: Matcha took pity on the boy, who looks sad and desperate, and. 137 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 6: I say only one song, please. 138 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 2: The band members to let him in or else. 139 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 6: Oh, I don't want to buy you Burtus and Tortoise 140 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 6: no more. And I talked to Huanga Brian and I 141 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 6: say come here, and he comes and he sing and 142 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 6: everybody you know, they lie the way he sing. 143 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 2: After that night, Mecha and Huanga became inseparable. They were 144 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 2: both young, broke bohemians trying to survive in a party scene. 145 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 2: Sometimes they had enough to eat sometimes they didn't, but 146 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 2: they watched out for each other. 147 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 6: They give him when I seek, they gave me. 148 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,560 Speaker 2: So they were facing extreme poverty, but they were also 149 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 2: resilient teens hungry for life. They went out a lot, 150 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,720 Speaker 2: went dancing, They had a good time, and he. 151 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 6: Go playing cars, domino lotteria and we got fun there. 152 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 2: For decades, what Is was known as this liberal hub 153 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 2: where the rules of polite society didn't go. Americans like 154 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 2: Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor would flock here to get 155 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:20,040 Speaker 2: a quick divorce. What Is was a precursor to Las Vegas. 156 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: Picture restaurants with perfectly fitted linen tablecloths, waiters and white jackets, 157 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,720 Speaker 2: and clubs that stayed open all night. What has had 158 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: been an international party destination since Prohibition. The music of 159 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,680 Speaker 2: the Mariantis says the temple for a night out filled 160 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 2: with the sights and the sounds of the border. Sex 161 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: workers like Metcha would roam the bars and streets. A 162 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 2: Boston writer once called what is the most wicked city? 163 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 3: You could say? All kinds of people from different nationalities 164 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 3: coming to no on awe, not just the Americans. 165 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 2: Thisas he's been working at and eventually owning a bar 166 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 2: and what is For about sixty years he partied here 167 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 2: during the glory days of the Noah Noah, a club 168 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 2: that's the topic of Huanga's iconic song. In his song Juanga, 169 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 2: Riel wrote that the Noah Noah was a place the 170 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 2: ambiente of ambiance, which might have been a dog whistle 171 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 2: for a gay friendly club. He wrote that everything here 172 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 2: was different, a wink to open minded how is? But 173 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 2: what is wasn't a nighttime utopia either. 174 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 3: In some places he was mistreated, but that's the way 175 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 3: it was. Yeah, it was something bad. 176 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 2: You said that in some places he wasn't allowed to 177 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 2: sing because he was gay. 178 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, but what does it have to do sexuality with 179 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:03,559 Speaker 3: good singing. 180 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 2: I don't know people heckling Huanga, but if one club 181 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,040 Speaker 2: wouldn't take him, Huanga would find another club that would. 182 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 2: I don't remembers Huanga as a teen, calling himself by 183 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 2: a stage name of Adan Luna, always walking down the 184 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,679 Speaker 2: hottest strip, trying to sing for someone, carrying a little 185 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 2: notebook around where he'd write his songs. And at night, 186 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 2: Kuanga would bring his songs to matcha at their. 187 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 6: Hotel and he and knock my door. He say hey, 188 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 6: I want you. You hear a new song and I say, 189 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 6: oh no, no, no, no, normalistic, don't bother me. I 190 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 6: got a big hangover. Bring me a ka guama. 191 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,319 Speaker 2: A kawama a forty, which he'd bring her. 192 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 6: And when he sing, I drinking the beer. Oh, it's 193 00:13:58,840 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 6: a nice song. 194 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 2: Oh. I love to picture teenage Huanga walking around with 195 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 2: his notebook of songs, singing them to sex workers, trying 196 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 2: to sneak into clubs. By the time he was doing that, 197 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: he was kind of an expert at surviving the Huatas streets. 198 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 2: He started hustling here since he was a child. That's 199 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 2: what I want to learn more about. When we leave 200 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 2: Metcha's house during our reporting, and what is we drive 201 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 2: to the house where Huangavria lived as a toddler in 202 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 2: the fifties. It's a small adobe building with a tiny 203 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 2: courtyard up front. It's here where Huanga's family arrived after 204 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 2: they'd migrated to the border looking for economic opportunities. Huanga's 205 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 2: parents were farmers in Parakuado, Micho Guan in west central Mexico. 206 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 2: Huangavriel was still a baby, his father lost touch with 207 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,080 Speaker 2: reality and was taken to a mental institution alone, Huanga's 208 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 2: mom migrated north with her six children, Huanga still in diapers. 209 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 2: He talked about it to the Mexican TV host Badi 210 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 2: Chaboi in nineteen eighty five, saying his mom had no 211 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 2: choice but to move north in. 212 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 4: Thoss not Maskaiki as Huadishuanga's mom got a job as 213 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 4: a housekeeper for a rich family. 214 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 2: She took Kuanga, then a toddler, with her to work 215 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: until the family didn't allow it anymore. According to his biography, 216 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 2: toddler Huanga spent his days with his older siblings or 217 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 2: sometimes even alone in the busy streets of Huatis, cleaning 218 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 2: cars or holding people's shopping bags for money. When Huanga 219 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,520 Speaker 2: was still a small child, a woman who worked at 220 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 2: a shelter for kids saw him on the streets and 221 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 2: told his mom that Huanga could have a better life 222 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 2: at the shelter. There he could learn rather than be 223 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 2: forced to work. In interviews for his TV bio series 224 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: as Guangarrie talked about how even as a three year old, 225 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 2: he felt his life was over when he realized his 226 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 2: mom had left him at the shelter for good. Medejho, 227 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 2: one of Huanga's best friends for over forty years. Rossenda 228 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 2: Puentez says Huanga would talk to her about how tough 229 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 2: it was to have grown up there. 230 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 5: He was very, very sad at the orphanage because you 231 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 5: know how kids can be very cruel. They were saying 232 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 5: to him, how come if you have a mom, you're here, 233 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 5: so your mom doesn't love you? How come you are here? 234 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 5: And he really really was hurt by that, and he 235 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 5: would suffer so much, and he's starting to really realize, Yeah, 236 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 5: they are right. How come if I have a mom, 237 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 5: lamb here. 238 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 2: In all his years at the shelter, he said his 239 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 2: mother only visited him a few times. Years later, Huanga 240 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 2: told the journalist Mate Delgado that he had longed for 241 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 2: love and affection, the things he didn't have. 242 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 4: No amor cari okeyoa carecido erdad, nino alesta vitternal. 243 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 2: So at thirteen, he escaped one night, he took out 244 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 2: the trash and just never came back. He tried to 245 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 2: live with his mom, but she told him he couldn't 246 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 2: stay with her. Huanga's biography says she wanted to remake 247 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 2: her life with a man and couldn't afford to take 248 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 2: in her thirteen year old son. In a televised interview, 249 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 2: Huanga Leader talked about how he understood that his mom 250 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 2: would never care for him. She had her own life 251 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 2: without him. Yes, Ubida. People who knew him during this 252 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 2: time talk about what an intense kid he was. Huangaviev 253 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,479 Speaker 2: talked about it himself. He said he was old as 254 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: a kid. There was a profoundness to him. Joe, you 255 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 2: can hear that in the very first song he wrote 256 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 2: at thirteen years old. He recorded it many years later, Gonza. 257 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 2: It's about a dove in agony who looks to the 258 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 2: sky and asks God to let him die after being 259 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 2: alone in a nest, without anyone there to love or 260 00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 2: care for him. 261 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 7: It's Monisan. 262 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,320 Speaker 2: I listened to the song over and over again as 263 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 2: I drove around how Is. I could hear a little 264 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 2: Huanga in pain, but I didn't realize to what degree 265 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 2: until a discovery weeks later at the Mexican National Archives, 266 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: we found a file that had been misplaced for decades. 267 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 2: It's a file from Huenga's time in prison when he 268 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,120 Speaker 2: was a teenager. We'll tell you more about his time 269 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 2: in prison in the next episode, but for now you 270 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 2: should know that In this file, there are pages and 271 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 2: pages of notes on Huanga Vriell's evaluations with the social 272 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 2: worker while he was detained. While at the prison, he 273 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 2: told officials this story that I think shows what young Huanga, 274 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 2: without any family support, was going through. When he escaped 275 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,880 Speaker 2: the shelter, he said he roamed the streets of juad 276 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,040 Speaker 2: Is looking for work. He did what he could to survive, 277 00:19:55,520 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 2: washed other people's clothes, cleaned a church, waited tables. Then 278 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,439 Speaker 2: he met a priest. The priest invited teenage Huanga to 279 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 2: live with him as his servant. The file actually uses 280 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 2: that word cente. Juangabriel agreed. Then the file reads the 281 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 2: priest raped him. Juangabriel was fourteen years old. I'd heard 282 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: this story before. Alejandro Perla, a video producer for Huanga, 283 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 2: had told me that some of Huanga's close friends knew 284 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,680 Speaker 2: he'd been raped by a priest, Juang Gabriel Lo biola Una. 285 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 2: When Alejandro told me this, I was like, no way, 286 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 2: I'm publishing this story. Sounds like hearsay. And then at 287 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 2: the Mexican National Archives, I confirmed the story, reading Huanga's 288 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 2: account of the rape. Whether to publish this detail or not, 289 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,119 Speaker 2: I consulted with other journalists, including Columbia University's Dart Center 290 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:12,879 Speaker 2: for Journalism and Trauma. I slept on it for months. Ultimately, 291 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 2: I decided to include the secret because I think my 292 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,840 Speaker 2: job as a journalist is to paint an honest picture 293 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 2: of Huanga, not just his artistic legacy, but his humanity. 294 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: He was so alone and desperate for safety, for a home. 295 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,639 Speaker 2: I kept imagining what it must be like to be 296 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 2: alone at this tender age, and in your innocence and 297 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 2: naivete and loneliness, you trust people you shouldn't because you 298 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,439 Speaker 2: have no one else, because your mom turned you away. 299 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 2: As I say this, I realize I'm no longer just 300 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 2: talking about Juangavriel and his mother, because thinking about a 301 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 2: vulnerable thirteen fourteen year old Huangavriel and what is makes 302 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 2: me think of another young adolescent once and what is 303 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 2: in my own family, another thirteen year old turned away 304 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 2: by their mother, my own mom. 305 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: Hey, we're back and I'm gonna turn it over to 306 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 1: Maria Garcia once again for the rest of episode two 307 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: of the new Apple Original podcast from our very own 308 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,360 Speaker 1: Futuro Studios, my Devo. Here's Maria Garcia. 309 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,159 Speaker 2: Okay, I gotta tell you about my mom. She smiles 310 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: at every stranger on the street, literally everyone who crosses 311 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:11,639 Speaker 2: her path. She talks to dogs like they're reasoning adults. 312 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:20,680 Speaker 2: She tells scandalous jokes. She makes all the kids dance 313 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 2: at parties from Gumbia to Reggaeton. You know that story 314 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 2: at the beginning of the episode about my mom taking 315 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 2: me to the club. One of the reasons I cherish 316 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 2: that memory so much is because my mom's experience with 317 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,119 Speaker 2: going out dancing when she was young was a complete 318 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 2: opposite of mine. Her mom didn't drive her to the club. 319 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 2: On the contrary, my mom wasn't really let out much. 320 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 2: Her mom, my grandmother, worked as an overnight nurse and 321 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 2: slept all day, so my mom had to take care 322 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 2: of her younger siblings and fend for herself since she 323 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 2: was like nine years years old. Mama, my mom had 324 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,879 Speaker 2: a complicated home life, a lot of responsibilities, and she 325 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 2: felt really alone. So when she was a teenager and 326 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 2: friends started inviting her out, she'd sneak out any chance 327 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 2: she got. She would go dancing with her friends in 328 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 2: Some of the same clubs were Huanga Once sang. 329 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 7: Oka, Saba Get this boys Kimi nira, maybe n alona fla. 330 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 2: Even if it meant coming home to a beating yallo. 331 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:44,680 Speaker 2: See see why, Lucie, they couldn't take away the dancing 332 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,239 Speaker 2: I'd done, she tells me as we laugh at her 333 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 2: endearing determination to party. But I know there's something deeper here. 334 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 2: That dancing was not just dancing for my mom, but 335 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:03,920 Speaker 2: a respite a bomb. I knew Felicie that she'd gotten 336 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,360 Speaker 2: a moment of happiness. 337 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:15,360 Speaker 7: Is so am that's a maximo hintonsis wow sali i nime. 338 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:25,000 Speaker 2: She had danced, jumped around with ini, been free kiriyak. 339 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 7: Response, This. 340 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 2: Yo had a moment of scarce pleasure to herself. One night, 341 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 2: my mom was especially excited to go out because, by 342 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:54,400 Speaker 2: some miracle, my grandma allowed her to. She was going 343 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,200 Speaker 2: to El Malivu, one of the night clubs where Huanga 344 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 2: started out. This is one of the swankiest places in 345 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:10,439 Speaker 2: what Is, with velvet seating and disco balls, and my 346 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: mom says she danced all night. Then when it was 347 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,879 Speaker 2: time to go, the car of the boy who was 348 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 2: going to drive her home wouldn't start. There were no 349 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,159 Speaker 2: taxis around, no buses. They walked to the boy's house. 350 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 2: The boy's dad was like, it's too late, Christen. Everyone 351 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 2: sleep here and I'll take you home in the morning. 352 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 2: But the next morning, my grandmother was waiting at the door. 353 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 2: She didn't allow my mom to come in. The boy's 354 00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 2: dad tried to explain, but the details didn't matter. My 355 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 2: mom had spent a night away from home. Oh luck, 356 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 2: my grandmother didn't want my mom in her home anymore. 357 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:15,360 Speaker 4: Who stinks in the. 358 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,360 Speaker 2: My mom even begged my grandmother to do a medical 359 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,639 Speaker 2: exam so she could verify my mom hadn't had sex 360 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 2: my mom. My mom pleaded, begged to be let in. 361 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 2: My grandmother said my mom had to marry the boy. 362 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 2: She'd gone out with a boy my mom hardly knew. 363 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 2: The boy's family objected. My grandmother said she'd have him 364 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 2: thrown in jail if he didn't marry my mom. My 365 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 2: mom wept, begged. My grandmother rejected her face with no choice, 366 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:04,120 Speaker 2: my mom and the boy forcibly married. My mom was thirteen. 367 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 7: It can easy get up by. 368 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,880 Speaker 2: Me at the courthouse. My grandma didn't even look back 369 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:23,919 Speaker 2: to say goodbye. Soon the boy grew angry at my mom, 370 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:30,080 Speaker 2: a terrible, terrible rage one day he raped her and 371 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 2: then he beat her. The boy's dad saw my mom 372 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 2: bloody and beat and told her to run away lest 373 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 2: his son kill her. Go and beg your mother again, 374 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 2: he said. So, my mom showed up to my grandmother's house. 375 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 2: She pleaded again. Pil Plea said she'd fear the boy 376 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 2: would kill her if she returned. My grandmother finally said 377 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 2: my mom could stay under one condition that my mom 378 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 2: pay for her own divorce. And now my grandmother said 379 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 2: ISSI ant, she'd be even harder on my mom. My 380 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 2: mom had to drop out of school to pay for 381 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 2: her divorce, never having the chance to get an education 382 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 2: to study something she liked. My mom has always told 383 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 2: me how much she would have liked to have a career, 384 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 2: but that was taken from her by my own grandmother. 385 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 2: My mom held the secret for decades. She's only ever 386 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 2: told me, not even my brother knews bit wins Mamas. 387 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 2: I asked her why she was ashamed of what had happened. 388 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 7: Truth querresimos and un tempo. 389 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 2: Because back then everyone judged you, thought you were slut, 390 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:19,719 Speaker 2: thought you didn't have value. That she thought she ruined 391 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 2: her own life. The fourth marriage was actually the most 392 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 2: dramatic in a series of insults and hurtful things my 393 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 2: grandmother had done to my mom. It's so hard for 394 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 2: me to even say this, but it's clear to me 395 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 2: now that my grandmother was abusive to my mom, hitting her, 396 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 2: calling her a whore in front of the whole neighborhood in. 397 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 7: Mundo. 398 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 2: I keep thinking of this, saying, if you treat your 399 00:30:53,120 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 2: child poorly, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves. 400 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 7: Keramania asta apper India, Marmi Apridia. 401 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,480 Speaker 2: Only now did I learn to love myself. My mom 402 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: tells me to know that I have value. It took 403 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 2: me all these years. I asked her why she was 404 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 2: ready to tell this story now, is Maniram. It's a 405 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 2: way to liberate herself. Back in juad Is on that 406 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 2: reporting trip where we started this episode, we ended the 407 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 2: day in an alley called Gajejon and it houses run 408 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 2: down tenements where Huanga lived with Mech and other sex 409 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 2: workers as a sixteen year old. It's easy for me 410 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,480 Speaker 2: to picture Huanga here. In fact, that's all I've been 411 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 2: doing my entire time in what is imagining him. But 412 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:14,800 Speaker 2: I think that if I want to really understand his story, 413 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,040 Speaker 2: I have to try and picture his. 414 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 5: Mom Amelita Sumama a persona no. 415 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 2: Huangabriel's niece, Sylvia Guilera told me that Huanga's mom was 416 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 2: indeed not an affectionate. 417 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 5: Person yokrokel Catrine ask in Naasi. 418 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 2: Because of the emotional way she'd been carrying. Sylvia said 419 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 2: she remembers her Rhando, always working, fu Mando, smoking heativa, 420 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 2: lost in thought and worry. It's so clear to me 421 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 2: that this is a woman in survival mode, tasked with 422 00:32:55,840 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 2: the most essential keep her children alive, safe, even if 423 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 2: it means leaving them in a shelter. Maybe that's why, 424 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 2: despite the harm she had caused, Wanga spoke about his 425 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 2: mom with such grace. He said in interviews for his 426 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 2: bio series that one of the most beautiful things in 427 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:25,120 Speaker 2: life is to understand, accept and forgive. 428 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 4: Thenido Aldos. 429 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,360 Speaker 2: In nineteen ninety two, he told a TV host that 430 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 2: even though he had bad memories, he extracted a lot 431 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 2: of good from them. 432 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 4: But okay, alous, okay, algin as persons are you arlist, 433 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 4: which is a momehor He. 434 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,719 Speaker 2: Could be a better help to others because he had 435 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 2: this perspective, this pain I see that in his art, 436 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,000 Speaker 2: like in amode Terno, the iconic ballad he wrote about 437 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:14,800 Speaker 2: losing his mom, Kidia can see you are the sadness 438 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 2: in my eyes, He sings, my eyes who cry in silence, 439 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 2: longing for your love. If you're Latin American, especially if 440 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 2: you're Mexican, chances are you've seen someone openly weep to 441 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,840 Speaker 2: this song. Something about the guttural and elegant way it 442 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 2: captures grief like a lot of Latinez. I saw my 443 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,719 Speaker 2: mom cry over my grandmother to this song, and every 444 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,240 Speaker 2: time she'd tell. 445 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 7: Me Petro, Poe and Mama. 446 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 2: She was a great mom who struggled for us. My 447 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 2: grandmother later regretted the way she had treated my mom 448 00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:57,800 Speaker 2: as a teenager, and she evolved. She was a doting 449 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 2: grandmother who was kind to me, always told me how 450 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:05,680 Speaker 2: smart I was, how proud of me she was. It's 451 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 2: clear to me that my grandmother was at an acute, 452 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 2: stressful moment in her life when my mom was a child. 453 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 2: She was alone, raising five children, probably with a ton 454 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 2: of unresolved trauma. How can I judge my grandmother when 455 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 2: my life allows me to pursue my dreams and her 456 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 2: life only made space for survival, and yes, she caused harm, 457 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,719 Speaker 2: but she also passed down a lot of beauty. My 458 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 2: mom and I got our big hearty laugh from my grandmother, 459 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 2: and our love of dancing and music comes from her too. 460 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 2: I honestly think that's one of the greatest treasures in 461 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 2: my life that women in my family showed me how 462 00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:17,319 Speaker 2: to be unapologetically joyful. That's ultimately why my mom drove 463 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 2: me to my first third the other the nightclub for teens. 464 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 2: At the beginning of the episode, she treated me as 465 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 2: if experiencing joy was my birthright. I think about all 466 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,840 Speaker 2: the nights I've had in Hauatas since as I pass 467 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 2: all the nightclubs on the strip at the end of 468 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 2: our reporting day, I have my mom to thank every 469 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,319 Speaker 2: time my friends and I karaoke. My favorite Huanga song 470 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 2: a deep cut called Ell Noah Noah those not to 471 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 2: be confused with the original Noah Noah. It's a song 472 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 2: about the beauty of being young and free. In What 473 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:17,880 Speaker 2: Is at Night, Kuanga sings about meeting someone at the club, 474 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:23,320 Speaker 2: spotting them from afar, giving them a sexy smile. I 475 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,000 Speaker 2: feel like Kuanga is narrating many of my what is 476 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:33,960 Speaker 2: club memories. I wish my mom would have had more 477 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:38,840 Speaker 2: of these memories. She didn't get those things, but somehow 478 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 2: she gave them to me. She gave me what is 479 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 2: at night. She gave me a youth. And today she 480 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,440 Speaker 2: gave me the honor of telling a part of her story, 481 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 2: the secret that I had carried alone for years, resigning 482 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,040 Speaker 2: myself to believe it was my cross to beeras the 483 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 2: only daughter of my Mexican mom. And then my mom 484 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:05,800 Speaker 2: was like, no, no more crosses, no more shame. We 485 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:38,000 Speaker 2: have nothing to hide. We are free. Coming up on 486 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 2: episode three, we look back on Huanga's time in one 487 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,360 Speaker 2: of the most feared prisons in Mexico. 488 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 6: It was a temple of horrors, to say the least. 489 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 2: Before Huanga was Juanga Rielle, he was incarcerated at Legumberi Prison, 490 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,280 Speaker 2: And in reporting I came across a chapter in Huanga's 491 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 2: life that has never been told true now when I 492 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 2: found at the Mexican National Archives, like completely changes this story. 493 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,200 Speaker 2: It left me a bit shook. 494 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:11,520 Speaker 6: Oh my god. 495 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 2: And it's this phase of his life that marked him forever. 496 00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 2: And that's all coming up in the next episode. If 497 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 2: you or someone you know need support, go to Apple 498 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:38,960 Speaker 2: dot com slash here to help for resources. Madivo is 499 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:43,719 Speaker 2: an Apple original podcast produced by Futuo Studios. This episode 500 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:48,600 Speaker 2: was written and reported by Me, Maria Garcia and Fernanda Echavarri. 501 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:54,520 Speaker 2: Our editor is Moreland Bishop. Our senior producer is Fernanda Echavarri. 502 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 2: The show is produced by Nicole Rothwell, Gini Montalvo, Lili Res, 503 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 2: Taquine Kottler, Tasha sannoal and Alicia Fernandez. Spanish adaptation by 504 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 2: Ezequiel Rodriguez Andino and Fernando Ernandez Besserra. Our senior production 505 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 2: managers are Nicole Rothwell and Jessica Ellis, with post production 506 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:22,759 Speaker 2: support from Nancy Trujillo. Mixing by Stephanie Lebau, Julia Caruso 507 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:28,760 Speaker 2: and Gabriela Biaz. Fact checking by Nidia Bautista. Our original 508 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 2: music is by Paul Weitkis, scoring and musical curation by 509 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 2: Stephanie Lebau. Our executive producers are Marlon Bishop and Me. 510 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 2: Legal review by Neil Rossini, Adrian Ojeda Cuevas, Jimena Juigi 511 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:48,920 Speaker 2: and Sergio Gomez. Futuro Media was founded by Maria Inojosa. 512 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 2: Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts. I'm Maria Garcia. Thank 513 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,239 Speaker 2: you for listening. See you next time.