Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh, I see you my own look
Speaker 1: over there? How is that ult? Yes? Goodness, Dan last
Speaker 1: culture Resta is calling rooko coo, rookucko ruo. Excuse me?
Speaker 1: What are those in the air? Those are rucal coop
Speaker 1: birds in the air. Shut them down, kill them for
Speaker 1: the pube slumes and yeah, yeah, that's a good scene.
Speaker 1: I felt good. I feel like I felt like I
Speaker 1: felt my character. I wanted to kill the birds for
Speaker 1: their pubs and make a little pube house. I felt like, um,
Speaker 1: I felt like I was supposed to just communicate the
Speaker 1: information and like that was my role and that was
Speaker 1: my That was like where I fit in straight man. Yes,
Speaker 1: you with a straight man was in every improv scene. Guys,
Speaker 1: there's a straight man and there's the people that want
Speaker 1: to kill the birds for their pubs. Yes. And if
Speaker 1: you think that's not a seeing, that's actually happening right
Speaker 1: now on the you see the stage, you'd be wrong.
Speaker 1: Bird pubes the new the new one go to topic.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's the new pineapple. Oh yeah, um, guys, we
Speaker 1: have a very special guest with us today. Um our
Speaker 1: friends over at story Pirates are employers, as you might
Speaker 1: even say thousands. We have nines with them, is what
Speaker 1: we're saying. UM or W is a W nine W nimes.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, but we have but story parents just
Speaker 1: did their change makers benefit recently and um, they asked
Speaker 1: us to offer up an auction item which is to
Speaker 1: be able to sit in on one of our recordings
Speaker 1: and then be um attend one of our live shows
Speaker 1: for free, and we have a winner. You guys. Yes, everyone,
Speaker 1: please welcome. I hope I'm saying it right. Moser Travis
Speaker 1: Moser House. Hello, now listen. I was very gooped when
Speaker 1: I heard that someone bid on the item because did
Speaker 1: you hear how much he did? Can you? I actually
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 1: because imagine if it's like five dollars, I'd be fine
Speaker 1: with that, like it goes towards a good cause. I
Speaker 1: believe I'm more than that. I will find out find out.
Speaker 1: I don't want to know. You tell them that I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. What if it's also a thousand
Speaker 1: dollars and I'd be like, no, I don't think people
Speaker 1: would be bidding that much. Will never know, but I'm
Speaker 1: we're very happy that you're here. You've been surprised. I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry, but you're you're surprised. This was a surprise. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So basically I saw it on I think it was
Speaker 1: Matt or maybe you're. Someone tweeted it as I care
Speaker 1: about you care about people, specifically benefiting children and their education.
Speaker 1: Everything's my support story parts where I tweeted it. Um
Speaker 1: but um, so I saw that, I think, and then
Speaker 1: I mentioned it because I was first a fan of
Speaker 1: your podcast and I got Mike to be my boyfriend
Speaker 1: of this in a couple of weeks, we'll be fifteen years.
Speaker 1: What so, because it's been so long, it's like he
Speaker 1: ignores ninety eight percent of the things I say. So
Speaker 1: I thought this would kind of go into the ether.
Speaker 1: And then, um, your relationship is older than a lot
Speaker 1: of kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of children
Speaker 1: running around. But so then I I mentioned it to
Speaker 1: him and then he kind of I thought he forget
Speaker 1: about it. And then someone he works with is somehow
Speaker 1: involved with or does you know, stop with story exactly,
Speaker 1: So like um and um so he um bid on
Speaker 1: it without telling me? And were you at the benefit?
Speaker 1: I was not at the benefits, So you didn't see
Speaker 1: my performance I did not. I'm sorry, that's okay. Oh
Speaker 1: that's so sweet of mine. So then he surprised me
Speaker 1: on a couple of days ago, like the day. I
Speaker 1: guess it was Sunday, so I was thrilled. This is
Speaker 1: like a bizarre but I I do want to if
Speaker 1: I could just say, like, I really appreciate this podcast.
Speaker 1: An amazing guests like Pad and everybody you bring us,
Speaker 1: and I love hearing you guys your relationship and um
Speaker 1: being part of it and hilarious. You love it. You're
Speaker 1: the best. And also you've got us some you brought
Speaker 1: a very nice gift for us, some HELLI Hello Dolly
Speaker 1: themed thank gifts and thank you for that. You're a
Speaker 1: sweet And also I've been listening to your music and
Speaker 1: I think, yes, Travis is very accomplished cabaret singer, tell
Speaker 1: us about about you, So it's very like cabaret Broadway
Speaker 1: standards type stuff. So it's not you know whatever, but
Speaker 1: um so um. I just did a show Joe's Pub
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, and then I'm doing a
Speaker 1: couple of shows out of town with Pittsburgh Cello, and
Speaker 1: then in August I'm doing Madonnathon so yeah, so that
Speaker 1: and that's a great Tickets like are on sale for
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of months or whatever. But it's
Speaker 1: an amazing fun party. Um it's we get amazing people
Speaker 1: like um, Molly Pope and a whole bunch of people
Speaker 1: and it's a really great time. So that that's coming
Speaker 1: up at the end of the summer. And they can
Speaker 1: find your music on Spotify, Spotify, Alblem Music, iTunes, anywhere
Speaker 1: you can find music. There you go, oh my god, wait,
Speaker 1: those are some solid plugs. I might look into the Madonna.
Speaker 1: You might have to go. You might, We'll go, We'll go.
Speaker 1: I'm actually putting an auction up pirates so hopefully you
Speaker 1: can get on it fly away with joy. Um Travis,
Speaker 1: So you're going to hang out with us, Yes, that's cool,
Speaker 1: but at this time we have to ask you to
Speaker 1: switch chairs for the day. Switch chairs of the days.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Travis, Travis. Oh my god, but these these
Speaker 1: gifts are so so wonderful, are beautiful. There's a coffee
Speaker 1: table book of Broadway of spot Co. Is it Spoco?
Speaker 1: Is it Spocco? Spots? Is the thing is you, guys,
Speaker 1: he went all the way over. If you want to
Speaker 1: sit in those chess because they're comfier you can, but
Speaker 1: also you're allowed to be right here and hanging out
Speaker 1: with But this is this is truly wild, truly amazing.
Speaker 1: Well it's there's there's a David Sadarius word, and there's
Speaker 1: there's stuff by chip Kid, chip Kid, I can't wait,
Speaker 1: pro Lithic poster designer, and Percy's go to Broadway care
Speaker 1: is equity. Oh my god, so so great, Thank you, Travis,
Speaker 1: and now we um move on to really the reason
Speaker 1: for the season season. Oh my god, she's I mean,
Speaker 1: she's one of the return guests. She's a return guest.
Speaker 1: She's not sort of pantheon and that sort of pantheon
Speaker 1: like an I have the credits right here. Listen, writing
Speaker 1: for High Maintenance. Currently very excited to see you can
Speaker 1: see this individual performing alongside my co host Bow and
Speaker 1: Yang at the Up Next showcase at Clusterfest. It's going
Speaker 1: to be on Sunday, June three, and that is actually
Speaker 1: going to be the night after our Cluster Freest performance
Speaker 1: on Saturday June two, because these guys are going to
Speaker 1: be um Up Next character performers. Yes, this is amazing,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be amazing. Showcase other incredible performance in there.
Speaker 1: And also she's hosting It's a Guy Thing on May
Speaker 1: if UCB Sunset with Miss Catherine Colin. Check that out
Speaker 1: in just a few short weeks. Our favorite and I
Speaker 1: hold on, I have to let's my favorite credit hold
Speaker 1: on um, which is she looks ordinary right now? It's
Speaker 1: her star turn in that video that we all know
Speaker 1: and love titled No Stupid naive Slot tries to do
Speaker 1: the splits epic fail. It's I think it's I think
Speaker 1: it's I think it will be studied in school. Has
Speaker 1: the Instagram of the year, that's for sure. Okay, and
Speaker 1: please Slot, let's stay together. Here we go. Stupid naive
Speaker 1: Slot tries to do the splits epic fail. I was
Speaker 1: going to introduce our guest here. Please everyone welcome stupid
Speaker 1: naive Slot. Patti Harrison, thank you so much. How are
Speaker 1: your naive? Well I'm not naive anymore. Yes, now I
Speaker 1: am a cultured, altered middle aged woman who is a
Speaker 1: slut learned from my epic fail. Oh boy, what did
Speaker 1: you used to Guy's spoiler alert it's um. She tries
Speaker 1: to do the splits and then she finds out that
Speaker 1: she shut out blood or she's started out blood. Um,
Speaker 1: what was the what was the material for the blood? Exactly?
Speaker 1: I do want to know this. It was go job
Speaker 1: ko yeah, um it was yeah, just smeared and you know,
Speaker 1: far away, it just looks like really thick, thick blood. Yeah,
Speaker 1: blood and tissue. To see that blasted out of my
Speaker 1: ass connected. You can't use nowadays catchup for blood the
Speaker 1: film because now we have color, so you can see
Speaker 1: very much that it's not the color now now we
Speaker 1: have color. Now we have color nowadays televisions and color.
Speaker 1: Back in the day, we used to just use you know,
Speaker 1: catchup and when we have black and white film. I miss,
Speaker 1: I really miss back in the day when things weren't
Speaker 1: so complicated. Then you go off, born in the wrong era.
Speaker 1: I was born in the wrong era. I miss back
Speaker 1: then when we the conversation, the public conversation, you know
Speaker 1: what it was about. It wasn't so dark. It's so
Speaker 1: dark now everyone wants to talk about these things. And
Speaker 1: a lot of times it's like it's inappropriate, appropriate in
Speaker 1: front of my children, and they're rubbing it in my
Speaker 1: children's face. Back in the day, you when you opened
Speaker 1: up your phone, you can see abbreviation. No. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. I don't care if you're different or what.
Speaker 1: Just don't bring it into my kids school. I don't
Speaker 1: care if your purple, if you're gray, if you're a B, C, D, E,
Speaker 1: F G if. I don't care if you're a cup
Speaker 1: of piss. I don't care if you're a couple of pis.
Speaker 1: Don't bring that into my familyhood. Don't bring that into
Speaker 1: my family. I have to say something that's really scary
Speaker 1: that has shocked me off. My phone used to be
Speaker 1: in black and white, and then it updated and now
Speaker 1: and now it's color. Wait, I'm actually teared up because
Speaker 1: you guess you have a color phone? Exactly right? Can
Speaker 1: we talk about this. We have a friend who remember this.
Speaker 1: He showed us his phone. It was all unplack and
Speaker 1: white and apparently it's supposed to make you less addicted.
Speaker 1: This is true. This is something that we did here.
Speaker 1: It's like he black and whited his phone out so
Speaker 1: that he feels less like addicted to the screen. Because
Speaker 1: we are addicted to our screens, each and every one
Speaker 1: of us. Is it? Because you're your bang bus videos
Speaker 1: and black and white now and you can't see all
Speaker 1: the hues of the of the of the seat belt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of the seat belt. That's what I'm guess I'm getting
Speaker 1: off on. Let me see the color of these seat
Speaker 1: belts on my beat bus? Is it? Bang bus is
Speaker 1: the straight when bait bus is the game. I believe
Speaker 1: bab bus is the straight one because they bait the Yes,
Speaker 1: Travis is confirming. Okay, but I have to say and
Speaker 1: we can talk about this. Um, I'm allowing ourselves to
Speaker 1: have I'm giving ourselves permission to talk about Oh and
Speaker 1: the first thing you have to do is just give
Speaker 1: yourself the permission. It's actually rule of culture number forty four.
Speaker 1: Give yourself permission to talk about bait bas talk about
Speaker 1: the acting is very good. I love it so convincing.
Speaker 1: They seem shocks and then so willing to fucking ask. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really it is really like get it's just frustrating
Speaker 1: when you're watching other porn and then you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: your mindsner showing h Yeah. I hate when it seems
Speaker 1: like they're acting. It's like okay, still, okay, Stoslavski. You know, imagine,
Speaker 1: imagine a dick in my ass. I can feel the
Speaker 1: lemon in my but and sometimes kabuki or no theater
Speaker 1: training is sometimes sometimes actually truly did now now here?
Speaker 1: Let's go around the table. Who has formal acting training? Oh?
Speaker 1: Not me? Not me, Travis, you have formal acting training? Guests?
Speaker 1: Who has formal acting training? H In fact, I've actually
Speaker 1: seen HPJ act and it's a powerful experience. And actually,
Speaker 1: like we used to do um Volcano Town, we did,
Speaker 1: yes were you would well here? No, no, no. I
Speaker 1: was never Joe and I were. Joe directed and was
Speaker 1: also in it. But Joe was as a very good
Speaker 1: actor and a fantastic director. He and Alex actually are
Speaker 1: really really good theatrical director. Wow. Little known fact about HPJ.
Speaker 1: What kind of what kind of productions? What kind of
Speaker 1: Well that was like a heightened sort of like comedic
Speaker 1: sci fi soap opera actually episodic. Lie loved it, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Comedic sci fi soap opera. That sounds bad. It sounds
Speaker 1: like like, remember, okay, so I'm gonna mention this, she's kidding,
Speaker 1: She's kidding. Also, but you know what's cool about it?
Speaker 1: It was it ran for a year and every month
Speaker 1: was a different episode of the show, so it ended
Speaker 1: up being a twelve part installment. Yeah, it was actually
Speaker 1: really cool. Three full my character. I think I was
Speaker 1: in three episodes, Like what was that in my character?
Speaker 1: Pop TV? It was lux offer. I was the lord
Speaker 1: of the mountain. Yeah, because I'm very powerful, um performer.
Speaker 1: I clocked that. I Well, I clocked something about you
Speaker 1: like evokes mountains. Yeah, I think so. I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: can I tell you something in Emokemo mountains? God so
Speaker 1: stupid When you go up the mountain, it's harder to breathe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you need someone with very big lungs to play a
Speaker 1: part of someone who's going to be on top of
Speaker 1: a mountain. Okay, well without formal acting actors training, show
Speaker 1: us what that looks like. Would you like to see?
Speaker 1: Look how open I am when I make this sound
Speaker 1: is for those who can't see what's going on. Loosening
Speaker 1: up his shoulders, he's just his head's tossed back, big grin,
Speaker 1: his asses out, his asses out. Oh my god, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh my god, there's there's and now in
Speaker 1: his jeans they pulled themselves back up. His ass is
Speaker 1: no longer as he sung his pants. He sung his
Speaker 1: ass out of his pants and then back on back
Speaker 1: into his pants. Wait, there's blood dripping out of your
Speaker 1: pant Oh no, oh no, out of out of your
Speaker 1: are dungarees. He's a blood pool of blood, black blood, blood,
Speaker 1: dark blood. It means it's from your liver, right your kidney.
Speaker 1: Can I taste this? It grows? It is? Oh it?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you guys something? It's already filthy secret.
Speaker 1: But I would never tell anyone else but you guys.
Speaker 1: That what I just saying was the note from Sex
Speaker 1: on Fire, That Sex on Fire, right, that video? I
Speaker 1: have a vo x of a god. Oh my god?
Speaker 1: What is what do we thinkings of Leon is doing
Speaker 1: right now? Probably five different things because five different people,
Speaker 1: you idiots? Okay, I don't know. I just mean even collectively,
Speaker 1: just like, what's the best descriptor for what they are
Speaker 1: each doing, Patty? They are each separately networking with hives
Speaker 1: of teen models at at a pop up event for like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, a denim phone case. It's like this
Speaker 1: pop up event for this new Denom phone case. And
Speaker 1: then there's just like all these team models there with
Speaker 1: like cocktails and then the band. But have you've been
Speaker 1: spending time in l a? Can you smell the tea?
Speaker 1: Do you enjoy it or do you want to come
Speaker 1: back very bad? Okay, here's the thing. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it. I really like it. It's very you
Speaker 1: know people. Okay, So the most born conversation you can
Speaker 1: have about l A is that the weather is nice.
Speaker 1: And so that's what I'm about to talk to you
Speaker 1: guys about for the next It is really really nice.
Speaker 1: It's really nice. I know, I know. I just feel
Speaker 1: like such a New Yorker that I don't know if
Speaker 1: I could ever go. But it changes everything everything when
Speaker 1: you wake up, when you like how you feel. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Someone told me, uh, someone told me that
Speaker 1: New York, the hustle of New York is what makes
Speaker 1: your art good. The stress and depression is what makes
Speaker 1: your art good. So if you go to l A
Speaker 1: too soon, you'll be happy, but your creativity will die.
Speaker 1: But so you feel like you already at the peak.
Speaker 1: You could not get any better. You feel like you
Speaker 1: are the most cultivated version of yourself, articipating communically, and
Speaker 1: therefore you there's just so much better than us. So
Speaker 1: you can just go out to l A and sell yourself.
Speaker 1: That's what you're thinking, man, I don't believe that at all.
Speaker 1: I actually think I'm doing a bad job. And the
Speaker 1: thing is is, I don't know if I want to
Speaker 1: get better. I don't know if I want to get better.
Speaker 1: I think I want to stay bad. I want to
Speaker 1: get worse, stay bad. I want to stay bad, stay bad.
Speaker 1: You're doing great. I feel like, uh, it's I do.
Speaker 1: I am sure that there's truth to that, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: being around so many people who are like, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: really like everyone like clawing in that l a is
Speaker 1: very like breezy, and you become more relaxed and maybe
Speaker 1: you lose perspective a little bit. Sure, but uh, you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's warm. There's little lizards running everywhere. That's a
Speaker 1: huge they have those in Florida. What kind of lizards?
Speaker 1: But I think, did you size? I started to say
Speaker 1: small ones and then I said tiny ones? I ended
Speaker 1: up things. When something is small and signy, what about
Speaker 1: something is small and tiny? What about what what if
Speaker 1: something is huge and big? The booge? Oh they are
Speaker 1: she had them booge and that's so yes. She had
Speaker 1: a yes say it, patty. She has titties and its
Speaker 1: sign thank you Gosh. That tea's a disgusting coming out
Speaker 1: of my mouth signing ass front runner for you guessed it?
Speaker 1: Title of that. Okay, So then what what if you
Speaker 1: untrained actors? What's the script or for her siss pussy
Speaker 1: for her for her ciss pussy? If you untrained actors? Okay,
Speaker 1: you're an untrained actor, but I thought you are an actor.
Speaker 1: So my assignment to you right now, at this moment
Speaker 1: is to describe this person who has bush titties and
Speaker 1: signy as what their siss pussy looks like. But the
Speaker 1: subtext is is that your boyfriend just fell down a
Speaker 1: mountain and he's in the hospital, but there's no more
Speaker 1: news from that because you're not allowed to be in
Speaker 1: the room because you're not family. So you're I'm describing
Speaker 1: someone else's her his person with the booge titties and
Speaker 1: the signy as. No, it's not anybody connection to you.
Speaker 1: It's just this person. And separately outside of that, your
Speaker 1: emotional state right now is your boyfriend just my boyfriend? Yes,
Speaker 1: and you don't know, you don't know if he's okay
Speaker 1: or not. You can't have more information at the time. Now,
Speaker 1: describe the cis pussy, Okay, Well, I just want to
Speaker 1: set this up so I'm just gonna provide context. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: so here we go. Oh, she's got that booge than
Speaker 1: booge titties, that signy ass and that pistis says pussy pistol.
Speaker 1: Seisus pussy pussy pussy. It sounds like a human took me.
Speaker 1: What is that? That? That is a mudhah Hagen. That's
Speaker 1: Udagan sussy sis pussy susy sis pussy. I love your
Speaker 1: excuse me, it's bully. He's my favorite song, stand up
Speaker 1: fights back. I don't know what to talking about. We
Speaker 1: have to talk about Patty Harrison's run gay as on
Speaker 1: her ancestory months ago. She has a bunch of if
Speaker 1: you don't follow party Harderson, you should do that, because
Speaker 1: you should just do that. Familiarize yourself. Pause this come back.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am crying. I am crying about
Speaker 1: Patty hat. Patty had a song that was called the
Speaker 1: Queer is Beautiful and I wait, can I just can
Speaker 1: I cover it right now? Cover it? That's so much
Speaker 1: honor as an artist to have your song. Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 1: here we go. Who you always beautiful? Being queer? Queer
Speaker 1: is beautiful? Yes queer. I don't think that's roughly, that's queer.
Speaker 1: You also did like her face good, you were you
Speaker 1: were in character fully really you embodied Patty. That that's mysner.
Speaker 1: I think you have to because my face contorts around
Speaker 1: the nose to do that, and you did it, and
Speaker 1: you sing it in a better key. No, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't bring it to that same register. Um with
Speaker 1: that usual, that's that's straight. Yes, it's queer. I think
Speaker 1: I think it's the same. It's clear. I don't think
Speaker 1: there's a different Patty my assignment to you. And this
Speaker 1: is just offline. This is just on your own time.
Speaker 1: We need a pisto seesis pussy song. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I'm not. I'm not. Like. My favorite song
Speaker 1: that you ever did was you perform this live and
Speaker 1: that I never saw you do it again? Was do
Speaker 1: you want to see my ass? Do you want to
Speaker 1: see a pick of my asshole? Well? I so many.
Speaker 1: And the thing is is I'm not allowed to make
Speaker 1: music legally because of a sex crime that I did
Speaker 1: to Jimmy Iveen. But you, Jimmy I the president of
Speaker 1: the under scope. Um, okay, but you own up to
Speaker 1: the sexual crime. Yes, what it was? It it was Okay,
Speaker 1: so I actually, how did you attack this vulnerable white
Speaker 1: man contractually? It's so if anything that I say technically
Speaker 1: legally about it is retaliation, consider retaliation. But I will
Speaker 1: say is that, um I I bottomed his entire torso consensually,
Speaker 1: and I made him come too good and then and
Speaker 1: he got mad because he's like, you know, I hate
Speaker 1: when the coming is good. And then he dropped me
Speaker 1: from the label and just like just like fucking burned
Speaker 1: my career, potterized it even Yeah, oh my god, just
Speaker 1: like just just bled you dry. Yeah, truly, I'm not
Speaker 1: allowed to make music anymore. Okay, Well it sucks your respect,
Speaker 1: It sucks. It sucks mostly for us, the listeners. I
Speaker 1: was I wanted to ask, and if you're not at
Speaker 1: liberty to talk about this, that's fine. Um And I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: Uh what what? What? What is the songwriting process for Patty?
Speaker 1: And I I'm even half genuinely asking this, um So,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times it's I hear a song,
Speaker 1: and I hear a song like that's playing, you know,
Speaker 1: over the radio at the store, in a car, and
Speaker 1: then I just steal whatever its bit about that song,
Speaker 1: and then you don't have to talk down to us. Um,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of I I really think it's funny.
Speaker 1: Uh when a song has a bad point of view.
Speaker 1: So whoever sings in a song, if they have like
Speaker 1: a really bad point of view and they really um
Speaker 1: if if if there's just a song that was like
Speaker 1: the the the the the the, the, let me hit
Speaker 1: my kids please, It's like someone asks me for a
Speaker 1: permission to hit their kids. They haven't done it yet,
Speaker 1: They're going to do it, they want to do it,
Speaker 1: and they're they're they're just asking the general problem. I
Speaker 1: realized now that that was that was I just lifted
Speaker 1: the melody of that what's that song? And that makes
Speaker 1: me hiving? And that's what takes me. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is this? I feel the beat in the group next, Yes,
Speaker 1: I love the song. Just my kid please? And then
Speaker 1: the police as well, is what sort of keeps it driving?
Speaker 1: I love it. I love that. Oh my godet this year,
Speaker 1: better vote this year. There's nobody good who's running. There's
Speaker 1: nobody good who's run. It would take a lot of
Speaker 1: time to get to the ballot. Who cares? Who could
Speaker 1: benefit from your vote? We just a brainstorm. We deserve
Speaker 1: an idea logical match in Canada and idea logical mats.
Speaker 1: Thank you, hey, this is this is why, this is
Speaker 1: what I need. I need some some workshop environment I
Speaker 1: don't have. Here's one. Can you just um slide into
Speaker 1: like is a beautiful man with the trump? Is a
Speaker 1: beautiful man with the football? Troup Brian, God what I said?
Speaker 1: And it's grand and bigg All of the blood and
Speaker 1: Math's body is in his face right now, all of
Speaker 1: it's in his head. But here's the thing, and I
Speaker 1: want to consult Travis on this as well, so everyone
Speaker 1: hears a recording artist, Yes, when you can make the sound,
Speaker 1: you do it no matter what it hurts your body.
Speaker 1: Travis agrees, Yeah, And sometimes I hurt myself trying to
Speaker 1: make noises. I know I can't make like what Marita
Speaker 1: Karry whistle tone. Patty is dead in the eyes when
Speaker 1: she that's my no wait you hear you hear this
Speaker 1: really cool noise I can make that. It's it's basically,
Speaker 1: I just vibrate my throat so hard that the tissue
Speaker 1: in the back comes loose, and it like it comes
Speaker 1: it like I can. I can spit it out later,
Speaker 1: just like tissue now that's that's a whistle. Though, when
Speaker 1: do we become a shock jock today, bitch? Since today
Speaker 1: your fault, Travis Travis brought this energy into here with
Speaker 1: his gifts. Travis. Travis famously did not get me a gift. Travis,
Speaker 1: we will rectify this in some way. And I'm saying we,
Speaker 1: the three of us, Me, Matt, and Travis, tell me out.
Speaker 1: So I really do I have a complex about gifts
Speaker 1: because when I was little, gifts, gifts, gifts. Now with
Speaker 1: the tea, you always have to make that distinction. Now,
Speaker 1: I want to listen to this getting gifts because I
Speaker 1: when I was little, my sister and my older sisters
Speaker 1: or my mom. Uh if I had older sisters and
Speaker 1: then I had one sister, there was an age gap.
Speaker 1: So like all of my sisters were teens except for
Speaker 1: one who was like two years older than me, so
Speaker 1: she was a kid when I was a kid. Everyone
Speaker 1: else for teenagers and they would get us gifts together,
Speaker 1: Like on my birthday, my sister would get gifts, and
Speaker 1: then on my on my sister's birthday, I would get
Speaker 1: gifts every year because if I saw her getting gifts
Speaker 1: and I didn't get gifts, I would have a meltdown understood,
Speaker 1: and see I never learned that, Travis, I never learned that.
Speaker 1: And what happened today is that Bowen got an amazing gift.
Speaker 1: Matt got an incredible gift. I did not. I didn't
Speaker 1: see the gifts. What happened today was one of the
Speaker 1: most disgusting displays of nepotism, Yes, nepotism and favor currying,
Speaker 1: and we were all dancing around it. What happened today
Speaker 1: was clearly I'm invisible in this room, so I have
Speaker 1: to talk twice as loud to get half the attention.
Speaker 1: I think three times as fast, and I think very fast. Wait,
Speaker 1: is this thing true about growing up? Oh? The gift
Speaker 1: things true? But I I know it's like I mean,
Speaker 1: I understand why I didn't get a gift. I will
Speaker 1: do self harm later because of it. But like, stop
Speaker 1: doing self harm. No, no, no, stop stop announcing that
Speaker 1: you will do self harm. Do self harm, stop announcing it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the permission, Thank you for the permission.
Speaker 1: Oh no, we already said this. Yes, I know, I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm referencing it. Of course. Of course, speaking of
Speaker 1: self harm, did you see the trailer for the new
Speaker 1: HBO limited series Sharp Objects. Oh, it's a another Gillian
Speaker 1: Flynn novel Amy. It's directed by Jean marc Veli, who
Speaker 1: directed Big Little. So this is a prestige HBO limited
Speaker 1: series event that's happened to have. It produced from a
Speaker 1: producer from Get Out Yes, starring Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson. Oh, Patricia,
Speaker 1: Miss Patricia the original Clarkson. We love Patricia, We love Patricia.
Speaker 1: And it's it's about like Amy Adams is like a
Speaker 1: very dark past and she has like a history of
Speaker 1: cell pharm but she's also like very very obsessed with
Speaker 1: like solving the murders of like young kids. So that
Speaker 1: sounds like really fun. Okay, okay, it sounds like a
Speaker 1: light watch. Well you um, you you did read Gone Girl.
Speaker 1: It's one of the few books you've read. And are
Speaker 1: you excited? Can you believe what he just said to me?
Speaker 1: Can anyone believe the audacity? Are you excited to embark
Speaker 1: again on? Gillian Flynn? Do you believe that I could
Speaker 1: read a book? I've bought you many books as you
Speaker 1: bought me a book? I did you bought me a
Speaker 1: book recently? Wait? What are you guys hear that? What Okay, sorry,
Speaker 1: this is really is that another bird? Okay? I have
Speaker 1: no idea what's going on? And it's good. Are they
Speaker 1: going to be able to hear that on the pod?
Speaker 1: I hope. So it was like this good double double,
Speaker 1: this busy susy suzy. It's like a Bavarian dance. I
Speaker 1: love it. It's fun. There's so many See this is
Speaker 1: when I'm trying to the point I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: music is all around. Well, that's the thing is when
Speaker 1: you brought up sharp objects, I didn't. I thought what
Speaker 1: came in to mind to me was box, a box
Speaker 1: of sharp objects by the used. How does that one go?
Speaker 1: You take a pill to feel better? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: nothing else matters. John's feels stronger. Eat sharper box. Oh
Speaker 1: sharp bump jacks. What a beautiful whistle tone. I actually
Speaker 1: consume Mariah whistle tone. Guys, we're redefining whistle tones. That
Speaker 1: is reclaim. But this is all about this is this
Speaker 1: is music positivity. This is vocal positivity. Anybody any voices valid.
Speaker 1: I love vocal positivity. Any voice is valid. No I
Speaker 1: like a skinny voice. No I like a thin voice.
Speaker 1: I like a thin, thin smell. Waist on the voice,
Speaker 1: A little tiny but beautiful hips wide hips tiny waist perfect.
Speaker 1: It's perfect natural tips o wine hips, natural wists perfect,
Speaker 1: little perfect. That's my voice. This is this is a
Speaker 1: musical episode. The earth is fertile with music, Impregnate it
Speaker 1: with at your will? Do you believe that Travis believes
Speaker 1: that Patty he makes legit music? Though it's true we're
Speaker 1: all doing not to say that we're not all making
Speaker 1: legit music, but it's just something a little bit different, right, Um,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean we're I was saying, we're all dilatans.
Speaker 1: We're all I mean, we're all dabbling. We're not what
Speaker 1: is what is like? You're you're an amateur. You're just
Speaker 1: you're just sort of like posturing as someone who's doing
Speaker 1: something instead of being the actual thing. But I do
Speaker 1: believe that of us all sitting here, Patty is the
Speaker 1: closest to being a pop star. And therefore I do
Speaker 1: want to ask you a certain question, which is, if
Speaker 1: you had all the money in the world as the
Speaker 1: pop star that is Patty, what does your concert look like?
Speaker 1: How does this start? Like? Who comes out? Like? What
Speaker 1: is there a story? Like? What kind of fantastic esthetic
Speaker 1: elements are we happening? Like if you could do a
Speaker 1: world toar like the Night Tour or like formation, like
Speaker 1: what is the Patty Tour? So my tour would um
Speaker 1: be called Well, let's not start there, Okay, let's actually
Speaker 1: say that it would be an audio visual experience. There
Speaker 1: would be you know, there would be pre filmed things
Speaker 1: that and there will be huge screens and there would
Speaker 1: be lights, lights that would come up. So the so
Speaker 1: the concert is about to start. Imagine concerts about to start.
Speaker 1: Everyone's just like, there's what a stadium, it's like fifty people,
Speaker 1: and then and then the lights go out and everyone's
Speaker 1: like and then yeah, and then some lights come on,
Speaker 1: and then the screen comes on too, and then I
Speaker 1: come out and then music is playing. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: there's so much music playing. Everyone's dancing and screaming. I
Speaker 1: come out. Dancers come out. They're dancing too. They're like
Speaker 1: they're all they're doing the routine we we painstakingly, painstakingly practice.
Speaker 1: I come out. I start singing a medley of my
Speaker 1: original my hits from my first album, and it's like
Speaker 1: a medley, yes, that, but it's like in the key
Speaker 1: of another one of my hits and the all in
Speaker 1: the same key because it sets you up for the
Speaker 1: next song that you're going into in the medley. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's and this is like an amazing medley. Then my
Speaker 1: outfit also, by the way, looks beautiful to describe it.
Speaker 1: Everyone is like people are taking pictures of it. People
Speaker 1: are taking people of thousands of people have their are
Speaker 1: people describing your outfit as like, yes, gag, say a gag.
Speaker 1: People are saying gags. Well, one person actually is screaming
Speaker 1: a slur. Just's like one person out there over all
Speaker 1: the screams of adoration. I can kind of hear one
Speaker 1: slur and I'm like, I think i know what they're
Speaker 1: saying it. I think it's a slur and that I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to focus too much on it. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like focusing on and again, my choreography
Speaker 1: is slightly less intense than the dancers. I can fully
Speaker 1: focus on dancing and I need time to kind of
Speaker 1: vamp and like can stop the points here and there
Speaker 1: and be like and then I point, and I'm like
Speaker 1: and I stopped and there. There's also I'm not lip sinking,
Speaker 1: but there is a vocal bag that has the chorus
Speaker 1: on it and the really yeah and people are like ah,
Speaker 1: and then I hear I hear like in the distance,
Speaker 1: I hear like you're like and I'm like, wait, not
Speaker 1: only did I hear a slur, but I think I
Speaker 1: recognized the voice of it, and I'm so I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're going into my first My first song is actually
Speaker 1: one off the new album, and it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: a song that's got fast and then so it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: and then it's like images, there's images that correspond with
Speaker 1: the song. So the song is actually at about moving
Speaker 1: on and then so that's going on and then a
Speaker 1: spotlight h not planned a spotlight. I'm like, what is
Speaker 1: going on? A spotlight goes the crowd. Guess who is
Speaker 1: in the crowd? De general? That was it. That really
Speaker 1: was because we talked about her last time and she's
Speaker 1: erect she's how big is her? It's seventeen this time?
Speaker 1: This time? Yeah, she did something. She got like sheen implant,
Speaker 1: she connect pnect. Pennect was to remove the penis, but
Speaker 1: she got a peno implant. She got a penectomy and
Speaker 1: then got her penis removed and then got a peno
Speaker 1: plasty and African rhino horn in the place. So actually
Speaker 1: when I sit at with seventeen inches, it's actually closer
Speaker 1: to four and a half feet long. And she's landing
Speaker 1: my fans just like an sing my fans in the
Speaker 1: crowd like oh, there's like a stack of my fans.
Speaker 1: I'm so sad, I'm crying on stage. I'm like, stop
Speaker 1: the music. But they turned my mic off because she
Speaker 1: did so. She talked to the tech people, she talked
Speaker 1: to the powerful. That's when I realized that she talked
Speaker 1: to the tech people ahead of time, and that is
Speaker 1: not That was like, oh my god, it's still the music.
Speaker 1: This is bigger than And then there's a part in
Speaker 1: the music where all the percussion drops and it's just
Speaker 1: like it's like it's like this arpeggio of like harp.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful part of the song. And I'm like, Ellen,
Speaker 1: get out of here. And she comes up on stage
Speaker 1: does a flip with still about six of my fans
Speaker 1: stacked on her horn, does a flip. The centrifugal force
Speaker 1: of the flip flings the fans at me off of like,
Speaker 1: and she's about she's flipping probably like twenty ft up
Speaker 1: in the air, so it's like she can get that high. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. It's like a fool and it's like it's
Speaker 1: a really fast rotation, right, but all the fans, the
Speaker 1: fans have come towards you. They smack into me, knocked
Speaker 1: me down in my big platform. She's breaking embarrassing embarrassing concert. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Bowman, who's our costumer, she's like made those shoes herself,
Speaker 1: like special and so, huh did she get out of
Speaker 1: the arena? Jenna for Bowman doesn't come to my shows
Speaker 1: because we have a bad relationshow so then so that's
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And then um so then by that
Speaker 1: time you're knocked out and the fans, I guess are
Speaker 1: long dead by now, yeah, at least like six and
Speaker 1: maybe something that got injured. And they're like they're all mad.
Speaker 1: They're like, this is not what we came here to see.
Speaker 1: So now I'm here to see petty Man. But at
Speaker 1: this point they've all turned because they're mad, and they're
Speaker 1: all saying, Tranny, oh, Nonny, you tranny, and I said
Speaker 1: stop it, stop it. And then that's when Ellen turns
Speaker 1: to me and guess what she fucking says what guess
Speaker 1: what she says? She says, you are a bit and
Speaker 1: my heartbreaks because I believe it. And it's Ellen. It's Ellen,
Speaker 1: and hero of mine in that moment, like she's gotten
Speaker 1: every wants to turn on you. They obviously have taken
Speaker 1: sides to her, even though they've killed probably some of
Speaker 1: the people that they know. Yeah, they start killing. I mean,
Speaker 1: the fans are so mad, screaming tranny. They start killing
Speaker 1: each other, killing each other. But just so you know,
Speaker 1: just so you know, at the at my tours, all
Speaker 1: my fans are siss because I won't let trans people.
Speaker 1: I don't like trans people. I'm a tur and it's
Speaker 1: a it's turf's only, Yeah, turfs only for them who
Speaker 1: aren't with it all. And they're all straight, beautiful, straight beautiful, Yeah,
Speaker 1: straight beautiful. They're saying tranny. But also Ellen, I remember
Speaker 1: originated the pronunciation trawny tronni yes with with an H
Speaker 1: and two ends the r O N N E. And
Speaker 1: she's like, hey, you know why I say it that way?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh why Ellen, This night
Speaker 1: couldn't get any worse, And she's like, because it's a
Speaker 1: play on pronunciation, of the Vietnamese language, because I know
Speaker 1: you're Vietnamese. To you, Tranni just just cuts deeper, twist
Speaker 1: the knife. She fucking she fucking puts that knife. She
Speaker 1: screw drive, electric screwdriver. She's more than just twisting the knife.
Speaker 1: I am. Yeah, Yeah, she really went there. That's a
Speaker 1: went there, and that's a gorgeous tour. And that is
Speaker 1: literally just Stockholm where the tour starts. That's literally just
Speaker 1: the first leg of the tour. And talk about why Stockholm?
Speaker 1: Why is that meaningful? Rich culture, a lot of amazing art.
Speaker 1: Their government, like the government in Sweden, it's just like
Speaker 1: really progressive socially, you know, the access to healthcare, the
Speaker 1: way people like treat each other, even um predominantly white blonde. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: it's it's a sort of easier when and a lot
Speaker 1: of amazing pop comes out of Scandinavia. But see the
Speaker 1: thing about Sweden and the thing that it's it's just
Speaker 1: it's a great case study in a homogenizing people to
Speaker 1: more easily governed and more easily socialized and provide access.
Speaker 1: If the people look at the same, it's easier. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: Once you all look the same, then you all act
Speaker 1: the same, then you all buy tickets to the same concert.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. That's a really good economy model. I disagree, Okay,
Speaker 1: but you're you're still like everything I set up until
Speaker 1: this point would I was setting up that you would
Speaker 1: say that, so I would agree, and then I changed
Speaker 1: my mind in real time. Okay. And that's what people
Speaker 1: come to expect from my shows. Yeah, that they're going
Speaker 1: to expect to like, except, for example, get through it
Speaker 1: and live. Yeah, yeah, that might not be the case. Well,
Speaker 1: that's why they turned on each other and the tours
Speaker 1: called sis Heats Only Radical Beautiful. Yeah, it's called Beautiful
Speaker 1: Turfs Colon sis heads only, uh, Colon uh. Dharma and
Speaker 1: Greg live for One Night Over Me and they're they're
Speaker 1: they're the actors who played Jarman and Gregg are there? God?
Speaker 1: And yeah? Scientologists famous scientologists and I'm and I'm giving
Speaker 1: I give her like a twenty minute platform in the
Speaker 1: middle of show just to talk about scientology. And she's
Speaker 1: like really charismatic about it because she's like, I know,
Speaker 1: it's so crazy, you guys, I think I'm crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it really is, a lot of it's so stupid, right,
Speaker 1: like really learning people in with that disarming disarming. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's like, you know what what might be fun? What
Speaker 1: if you just like took some friends and you went
Speaker 1: to like the Church of Scientology as a joke, because
Speaker 1: the doors are always open. You should see how like
Speaker 1: crazy stupid some of the decoration is. It's so gaudy
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, ha ha, that's so funny. But it's
Speaker 1: like under the guys of like, oh yeah, I come
Speaker 1: see how stupid this thing is. And then but it's
Speaker 1: fifty people and like they're gonna go, and they all go,
Speaker 1: and how many of them fall for it? How many
Speaker 1: of them? Did you? Did you not hear me? Are you?
Speaker 1: I said, they all all of them? But I know
Speaker 1: all of them go? But how many stay? How many
Speaker 1: signs on the dotted line when it comes to push
Speaker 1: comes to shove, Well, when push comes to shove, jokes
Speaker 1: on you, bitch, They were all already scientilog just because
Speaker 1: it's also a scientilogists only only beautiful turenceologists who are
Speaker 1: also turfs ciss head. It's called beauty turfs colin Um.
Speaker 1: Only calling Darmer and Greg live when I only call
Speaker 1: in seems can I say something? It seems like if
Speaker 1: you wanted to touch more people with your music, you
Speaker 1: would open it up to more people. Yeah, you have
Speaker 1: a very niche fan base right now, and almost no
Speaker 1: one knows that you even are a pop star. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, and it would seem that way. It really
Speaker 1: seems that way. I know. It also seems that I'm
Speaker 1: making this up and I am actually Do you hear that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a truck backing up. Yeah, that's the sound
Speaker 1: of my brain back pedaling. Oh wait, you're you're gonna,
Speaker 1: You're gonna. I'm gonna change the name of the show, Patty,
Speaker 1: you can't do this. It's gonna be called on the
Speaker 1: c W. I'm and Barberagene comes out. I love Barbage really,
Speaker 1: so beautiful, funny, talented, so funny, so talented, comedic timing.
Speaker 1: Here's what I'll here's what I'm gonna say. I bet
Speaker 1: your ass actually really watched Reba. I bet you love it.
Speaker 1: I bet right before dinner you watch Reba and then
Speaker 1: what I like about starring Amanda Bin I guarantee you
Speaker 1: watch shut up, shut up, you fucking bitch, fuck you
Speaker 1: shut up, shut up? Now you fuck you you shut up. No,
Speaker 1: I did not, Yeah, I did watch Rebo. Okay, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't watch it. Okay, it was on the TV
Speaker 1: when I came home from school. Sometimes what was that?
Speaker 1: What else it was on that block? It was Reba?
Speaker 1: It was Reba? What I like about you? And then
Speaker 1: I believe the hope in faith is ABC yethen no
Speaker 1: on the you know what? Maybe then they sorted over
Speaker 1: their dramas and it was like ever one time? Oh sure,
Speaker 1: did you ever watch un Touched by an Angel? Yes?
Speaker 1: I love me some Roma. Do you ever get that
Speaker 1: you look like Roma Downey? Do I ever? Never in
Speaker 1: my life? Do you think that's true? Because I would
Speaker 1: ask you the same thing. I've heard it every day
Speaker 1: each day. I can see the way your eyes are glossed,
Speaker 1: you sucking ling. Who did they say you look like?
Speaker 1: Because I know who I think you look like? Um?
Speaker 1: This is I have. I've been told that I look
Speaker 1: like Um. I get the actor who plays Winnie Cooper
Speaker 1: as a child mckeller. Yeah, I feel like I look
Speaker 1: like her. If someone put like Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Speaker 1: prosthetics makeup on my face where like when they transformed
Speaker 1: they have those like big brow ridges and like all bony.
Speaker 1: It's like yeah, maybe if her face exploded from the
Speaker 1: inside and her bones exploded, but her skin caught all
Speaker 1: of it so it didn't exit the skin, then I'll
Speaker 1: take that is what I need from Patty. That's what
Speaker 1: I need from Patty. It's actually not a debate, per se. Okay,
Speaker 1: we need Patty to do an impression of Nicole Scherzinger
Speaker 1: taking herself seriously singing. Oh that's I feel like we're
Speaker 1: putting around the spot. Not right now, I'm staying down
Speaker 1: the road in your career. Do you mean like when
Speaker 1: she sings Andrew Lloyd Weber standards from like Cats or Avida.
Speaker 1: But we'll get a Froe stage in a beautiful gown?
Speaker 1: What was the song where the all the men are
Speaker 1: singing around here like she's beautiful. She's doing the notes
Speaker 1: from Phantom of the Opera and they're like sing to me.
Speaker 1: She's like, you know the video we're talking about, and
Speaker 1: there's all the smoke. Yeah, wait, where was it you
Speaker 1: and Joel that was watching that in l A and
Speaker 1: you posted you posted it? Yeah, I was on my Instagram. Sorry,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't with Joel. Yes, I remember, and I
Speaker 1: was just like I wanted to I wanted to be like,
Speaker 1: that's you. Oh my god, whistle Town. Hey watch this
Speaker 1: pushing on my buttons? Baby, pushing funds. I thought it
Speaker 1: was pushing up my button. I want you. I'm telling
Speaker 1: you to loosen pushing pusends, bab, push push, It's like
Speaker 1: pus buttoned, babe? Why do you keep for running me? Wow?
Speaker 1: Say what you're gonna do to me? Wait? We have
Speaker 1: to talk about something with Patty that it's been like
Speaker 1: for some reason of recurring theme in recent episodes. You
Speaker 1: saw Cats with Sudi that one time in Metro? Right, yeah,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on Cats? Why? Why do you
Speaker 1: guys even? Okay, So here's the thing. Uh we got
Speaker 1: we were at dinner. I've never seen it or not.
Speaker 1: We were at dinner. We were at lunch and Metro
Speaker 1: was like, my mom got me and my sister tickets
Speaker 1: to see catsut was like, it's really funny, it's really dumb.
Speaker 1: You should see it in SUITI with like, I'll get
Speaker 1: tickets right now. We should like eat edibles and go,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, I will. Seems dumb enough. Um,
Speaker 1: I think Cats is the only only musical I've seen
Speaker 1: on Broadway. Okay, it's the only thing I've seen on Broadway.
Speaker 1: I guess, Um, it is the anniest thing I've ever
Speaker 1: seen in my life. It really was one of the
Speaker 1: best nights of my life. I laughed so deeply in
Speaker 1: the moment. Yeah it was, and I was high, but
Speaker 1: it was. It was nearly you know, it's nearly seventeen
Speaker 1: hours long. Uh. There are over three and a half
Speaker 1: million characters. Each one gets their own song. They either
Speaker 1: sing about themselves or another cat they adore in their community. Um,
Speaker 1: there is a villain. There is a villain. They a
Speaker 1: cat that they sing about for about seven and a
Speaker 1: half hours. You never see him that he's this villain,
Speaker 1: he's evil. They sing about him. He comes out, he
Speaker 1: does this really gay damn He chokes one cat who lives,
Speaker 1: and then he runs away and you never see him again.
Speaker 1: And then they vote an old cat in the heaven
Speaker 1: and she floats through the ceiling of the theater. And uh,
Speaker 1: it's just like at one point the cats come together
Speaker 1: and make a train. They make up and not like
Speaker 1: they make a train, like they're lined up. Their bodies
Speaker 1: come together and they form the shape of a train.
Speaker 1: Talk about the scene memory the song beautiful song Memory.
Speaker 1: So I thought I was laughing so hard, just because
Speaker 1: this musical is, you know, the most insane, like brilliant
Speaker 1: over use of resources, Like it's the most brilliant waste
Speaker 1: of resources. Every dancer is. They're all tense, they have
Speaker 1: perfect bodies, they're all like like doing all these front
Speaker 1: walkovers and the splits. Every single one of them can
Speaker 1: drop into the splits immediately. And I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: And then Memory, when Memory came on, I did get
Speaker 1: quiet and I teared up. Oh my god, it's a
Speaker 1: beautiful song. Any So any song, I have to say,
Speaker 1: if any song where the first chorus is in a
Speaker 1: lower octave and then the second chorus they like bump
Speaker 1: it up, it's always very powerful to me. So that
Speaker 1: happens in that song, very cheap in a cheap way,
Speaker 1: and made me cry cheap but still earned um. Because
Speaker 1: you had a sustained obsession with the Jelical cats. You
Speaker 1: might still you might still have this. But I remember
Speaker 1: there was a period of time when I would get
Speaker 1: text from you, or you would post photos on Instagram
Speaker 1: of like a Jelical cat jumping, or you you posted
Speaker 1: tweeting a picture of a jelical cat and like capturing
Speaker 1: it with like me catching other people's come like you
Speaker 1: you are you have like you? This affected you? It
Speaker 1: really did. I think. I think the meter of jelical
Speaker 1: songs for jelical cats is the like best comedy. It's
Speaker 1: like jellical, jellica, jelical, jelical, jelica can and jelical. We
Speaker 1: got just sing that for a sketch on Mad when
Speaker 1: I was on Mad like a two years ago and
Speaker 1: they were trying to explain like the pattern of the song.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fucking unsingable. How do people know it?
Speaker 1: And it's like there's nine key changes, it just keeps
Speaker 1: going up and up. It's it's like the what if
Speaker 1: the baby ants? Are you of our generation? I want
Speaker 1: to turn? Have you ever performed Cats musical theater? That
Speaker 1: production of Cats? Wow? Okay, so yes, but this is nothing.
Speaker 1: But there's nothing but a ringing endorsement. This is a
Speaker 1: beautiful endorsement. Yes, you get an amazing time, But I
Speaker 1: will physically attack each and every person who was cast
Speaker 1: in that musical because you want to because their tens.
Speaker 1: I know why why do you want to attack them?
Speaker 1: Because I'm a ten? And when I see other tens,
Speaker 1: you got to get rid of them. There's no So,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about us? You don't think that
Speaker 1: we're times? You don't feel there an by us? No,
Speaker 1: we're not times, we're not ts. You both combined are
Speaker 1: like a hard one together. Combined you are a one,
Speaker 1: and we're both integers. You're in you on the ten scale.
Speaker 1: I'm an integer. That doesn't feel good? Fine, now I
Speaker 1: can I agree we're we combined our one? Fine? Fine, Hey,
Speaker 1: but you know one's get fucked. You know what you know?
Speaker 1: How you know? Because pigeons are ones on the ten scale,
Speaker 1: and there's pigeons everywhere. Fine? Fine, Do you feel that
Speaker 1: living in l A hasn't made you a selfish, self induligent, naive, naive,
Speaker 1: Hollywood hungry, power hungry, social climbing motherfuck Ris, motherfuck Ris?
Speaker 1: Or are you still the innocent lamb that we knew? So?
Speaker 1: I want to let you in on a little secret.
Speaker 1: When I was born. When I was born, my mom
Speaker 1: was in labor. I was birthed vaginally. My mom is
Speaker 1: sis and pieces sis pussy. Uh my mom was giving
Speaker 1: birth to me and um the it I had breached
Speaker 1: at one point so that was scary for a little bit.
Speaker 1: It was a longer birth than they planned anyways. Um,
Speaker 1: so they were delivering me and at like as the
Speaker 1: doctor they got me unbreached, which was incredible, like it's
Speaker 1: like a great thing. And as they're pulling as they're
Speaker 1: delivering me, um, they might they said that my eyes
Speaker 1: were open as I came out, which is like insane
Speaker 1: because usually it takes time for your eyes open, but
Speaker 1: my eyes were open. And as they were delivering me,
Speaker 1: I said, I haven't seen you in so long. We
Speaker 1: should get coffee. Are you around? What's your schedule like
Speaker 1: next week? We should get coffee and and uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I really mean it. I know. I know, let's just
Speaker 1: like not make it like a big thing, but like
Speaker 1: if you're around, you can just text me and uh
Speaker 1: And the doctor was like you feel climby especially, so no,
Speaker 1: I really mean it. Let's get let's Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: there's where What are your like spots? What are you
Speaker 1: like spots? I don't have spots yet because I'm new
Speaker 1: to town, but if you have some spots that you love.
Speaker 1: I love tapas. I came out. I love tapas. Um.
Speaker 1: But I do think I think if anything, l A
Speaker 1: has made me more earnest really and this is this is,
Speaker 1: this is real, and you know this podcast would denote
Speaker 1: that because you two are evil slime and draw that
Speaker 1: out of me, make me evil slime. I'm kidding. I
Speaker 1: love you, I'm earnest. I love you, We love you,
Speaker 1: We love you, love you. Do you know? Do you know?
Speaker 1: We just had to like earnestly interview some people we
Speaker 1: didn't trybeca film festival. Yeah, okay, how do you feel
Speaker 1: about this? We interviewed Paras Hilton. Oh what wait? Okay?
Speaker 1: I was I think, Patty, I want to know your
Speaker 1: Paras Hilton insights. What are the things that you think
Speaker 1: about her? Because according to her, there are a lot
Speaker 1: of misconceptions about her. I think that the I don't
Speaker 1: remember the second season a lot. I thought The Simple
Speaker 1: Life was very funny, very funny that maybe you know
Speaker 1: that is I'm saying that as someone who saw it
Speaker 1: when it came out, and I haven't revisited anything other
Speaker 1: than a couple of clips, and so I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: stuff in it now it's like, but that being said,
Speaker 1: which and I also think it maybe that show was
Speaker 1: really funny because of Nicole Ritchie maybe more. But um,
Speaker 1: I mean I think stars are blind. Is you know great?
Speaker 1: I think, uh, she she is. Probably it seems like
Speaker 1: in her career she has she was born evil and
Speaker 1: then became self aware that she was evil, and now
Speaker 1: she's like kind of self deprecating in the way that
Speaker 1: an evil person can. I know exactly what you mean,
Speaker 1: I would say that, Well, all I know is I
Speaker 1: really hadn't thought of that her in so many years,
Speaker 1: to be honestly that I know. She's extremely famous with
Speaker 1: the people that she's famous with. She's got like ten
Speaker 1: million followers on Instagram, She's got like this whole billion
Speaker 1: dollar empire. She's internationally like booking DJ spots, Like she's
Speaker 1: like extreme, really famous with the people that care. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I hadn't thought about her in years, and so
Speaker 1: I kind of didn't know what to expect when she
Speaker 1: came in. But she came in, and she was Paris Paris,
Speaker 1: and the first thing she did was how I guess,
Speaker 1: which I thought when she was the only one that
Speaker 1: we interviewed the whole weekend, that the first thing she
Speaker 1: did was come over and give us. I think that
Speaker 1: is so ingrained after years of like having to meet
Speaker 1: a million different strangers, and it's like, in a way,
Speaker 1: I think in terms of press like it is a
Speaker 1: I'm convinced it's like a disarming tactic. Like it's like
Speaker 1: I'm it's like, look how nice I am. Like I've
Speaker 1: got this horde of pr people behind me, Like, well,
Speaker 1: what would you what would be an authentic I don't
Speaker 1: know reaction that she could have to you that I
Speaker 1: kind of thought it was authentic because the thing is,
Speaker 1: it seemed like she came in it was being ourselves.
Speaker 1: I mean. The thing is when I say she came
Speaker 1: in and she was Paras Hilton, I don't mean she
Speaker 1: came in and she was a nightmare. What I mean
Speaker 1: is she was not a nightmare at all. Came in
Speaker 1: and was like really kind of a nice version of
Speaker 1: what you think Paris it would. She came in, she
Speaker 1: said matching Blazers loves it, and she said like all
Speaker 1: the Paras Hilton lines. And then she and it was
Speaker 1: like it was warm in the room because of the lamps,
Speaker 1: and she was like she's like, it's so hot in here.
Speaker 1: We were like, yeah, we know, which we had been
Speaker 1: talking about all day. It was hot and that's hot,
Speaker 1: and then like kind of get going. Yeah yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: but like and like then she went in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: got ready, came back out and we had like a
Speaker 1: good interview with her. She was no, she was she
Speaker 1: was great. She was great. It's just it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: so many little contours around her fame and around how
Speaker 1: she moves like navigates any space. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: She was the last interview. We did it the whole weegn.
Speaker 1: I think it was good. She was last, but she
Speaker 1: obviously was like the most famous person we talked to.
Speaker 1: But then after having done it, like it was a
Speaker 1: good experience. We also sang her song with her, sang
Speaker 1: nothing remember nothing in this world, nothing can stop us
Speaker 1: tonight I can do what she can do so much better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's good. Yeah, I remember it because of what she
Speaker 1: just did. Thank you. UM know, this is what this
Speaker 1: is what I think? What what were you going to say?
Speaker 1: This is who I think Patty would be excited about,
Speaker 1: because we quoted bringing On in her last episode. We talked,
Speaker 1: oh my god, round up that spring step out, had
Speaker 1: step out? What is it backtuck half springing layout or
Speaker 1: something like that. I don't remember the whole thing that
Speaker 1: I just remember, your school has no gymnastics team. That
Speaker 1: was the last reader I transferred from Los Angeles. Your
Speaker 1: school has such gymnastics team. This is the last resort.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, fucking roasted that dumb little cunt, roasted
Speaker 1: her cunt, her little assist um. And she has not
Speaker 1: aged a day, not a day. Anyway. She's smoking, She's
Speaker 1: absolutely smoking. What what did you guys? What was a
Speaker 1: surprising about that? Didn't she like surprise she was she
Speaker 1: she was producing a movie about Robert. Robert Mapplethorpe. He's
Speaker 1: a party's like like an eighties photographer in New York
Speaker 1: lower side photographer in the late eighties. He actually passed
Speaker 1: away and maybe seventies, but he took a lot of
Speaker 1: he took photos of the New York underground. D S. M.
Speaker 1: Very famous photographer. And I think her brother, Nate is
Speaker 1: um in the gay community, and I think that like
Speaker 1: it was obviously important to him. Maybe he brought it
Speaker 1: to her and like she's helped like it and become
Speaker 1: a thing that was like kind of I think the idea.
Speaker 1: But it seemed like they were super close to the
Speaker 1: project and they were having the after party for the
Speaker 1: Tribeca premier at the Eagle was in New York at like,
Speaker 1: what is that the big gay leather bar franchise around
Speaker 1: the world, but like every big city has an Eagle.
Speaker 1: It's like the Javis is nodding that he knows of
Speaker 1: the Eagle go to leather bar. But it was cute,
Speaker 1: like they were just they were very like. They were
Speaker 1: just very like they were there to talk about a
Speaker 1: queer project, and it was just you felt that openness
Speaker 1: and that difference and all and Allies asked for a
Speaker 1: picture after, which which was just like a truly starstruck thing,
Speaker 1: not because not because she wanted a picture with us,
Speaker 1: because she was like, oh, let's take a picture. It
Speaker 1: was like fun. It wasn't like I need a picture
Speaker 1: with know. She was like, like we cut we like
Speaker 1: it was a great interview. We caut they haven't posted
Speaker 1: it but wet. And then she was like, um, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that was so fun. Can we take a picture?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh yeah, she was. She was great,
Speaker 1: like I've never had a picture with Integers before. We
Speaker 1: did one person, well two people that give us son
Speaker 1: of a salty vibe. Do you want to say I
Speaker 1: won't say who. I don't I will not say I
Speaker 1: don't want you to. I will not say who the
Speaker 1: guess what. I know who it was, And I'm going
Speaker 1: to put them on less right now. It was um
Speaker 1: It was not telling you it was it was it was.
Speaker 1: It was what it was Nina from tech in and
Speaker 1: Yo she Mitsu second and Maria's Marie Osmond. It was
Speaker 1: Nina from Teken, Marie, Marie Osmond, and Yoshi Mets from
Speaker 1: tech Stole Calibra slash Shule Caliber Important and they were
Speaker 1: all they were all really nasty. They came in all
Speaker 1: together for a project they're doing called Umu Who's Talking?
Speaker 1: Three Look, He's talking talking? Remember Luk Who's Talking? Actually
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with Teken and they're really trying
Speaker 1: to break away from the town, and Marie Osmond is
Speaker 1: trying to break away from you know, singing and dancing
Speaker 1: and dancing with the stars and put home with her
Speaker 1: brother and stuff like that. So they're actually doing a
Speaker 1: third movie of Luke Who's Talking, um yeah, with you
Speaker 1: know the movie with Kirstiality and John Travolta and the Baby.
Speaker 1: But the thing about John Travolta and Kirsty Alley is there,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of both going through hard times. So
Speaker 1: they're not going to do it, and so Marie osmond
Speaker 1: Yoshi from tech In and they meet. Did you ever
Speaker 1: play Debt or Alive? I loved it. All of the
Speaker 1: women were fucking like just looked crazy. You could my
Speaker 1: dick all off. O, my diick fell off. Oh, this
Speaker 1: conversation made my dick fall off. Stop. The chips are
Speaker 1: big there. You could go into the settings and make
Speaker 1: the boobs jiggling. You could not. There was boob jiggle
Speaker 1: settings in this video game. And like the later like
Speaker 1: Dead or Life Too Deader Life three. What do you
Speaker 1: think about that patriarchy? Huh patriarchy? What is that where
Speaker 1: it's so it's um just like the sort of trying
Speaker 1: of balloon pops when it gets too high in the air.
Speaker 1: It's when it's when what's when tis jiggle and my
Speaker 1: dick doesn't get hard enough? You know, I actually don't.
Speaker 1: I actually don't think it is the patriarch. I think
Speaker 1: it is. I think it's a woman's choice if she
Speaker 1: wants to be a six ft tall, fourteen year old
Speaker 1: one hundred pounds ninja with seven pound TETs. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: like no discernible scale to measure them, yet they're so big.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, why not? We don't know. We don't know
Speaker 1: real in real ninja. We don't. We don't. We don't
Speaker 1: know real and we don't know what they look like.
Speaker 1: We don't know who they are, we don't know what
Speaker 1: they're all about. That's true. Um, is it time to
Speaker 1: get into our new segment. It's time. It's time to
Speaker 1: get into And by the way, someone left a review
Speaker 1: saying that they hated this segment. Well, guess what, we're
Speaker 1: gonna keep doing it. Someone we can't blast a drag cock.
Speaker 1: They left it. They left a nice, a nice review,
Speaker 1: but they said caveat. Um. I love last culture is
Speaker 1: just but I do not like this voice memo segment.
Speaker 1: But hey, but we're gonna keep doing it because I
Speaker 1: feel that this last week's was really good, and the
Speaker 1: week prior to that was really good, and the week
Speaker 1: prior to that was really good. And oh wait, I
Speaker 1: think all of them have been good, so you can just,
Speaker 1: you know, give it a chance. We're trying something new.
Speaker 1: And today's voicemam oh you bitch comes to us actually
Speaker 1: from Friends of the Show, guy Brandam, So let's see
Speaker 1: what Guy has to say. I have not heard that.
Speaker 1: I have not heard it either. Here we go, Oh hey,
Speaker 1: Bowen and that it's Guy Branda. I'm your old friend. UM,
Speaker 1: just calling to say hey, and how uncomfortable I am
Speaker 1: made by the sheer number of times since Nathan Lee
Speaker 1: Graham I think that's his name that you guys have
Speaker 1: said this is the best show ever. Um that really,
Speaker 1: you know, I think steps on the legacy of those
Speaker 1: of us who really you know, UM built lost culturestus
Speaker 1: the best newels of the world. Ums like with her them?
Speaker 1: What about the Marshall Bell's case? What about the guy's brand? Um? Also,
Speaker 1: hello to Patty. Patty, unlike your voicemail from a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, I'm not going to be doing a
Speaker 1: fun little skit where I prevaricate, um to sort of
Speaker 1: like emphasize the ridiculousness of of of what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: My my aren't and comedy is rooted in truth. Uh,
Speaker 1: And so I don't play little games like that. Hey,
Speaker 1: And why aren't we talking about blockers more? You know,
Speaker 1: like we'll go, we'll go as a people and we'll
Speaker 1: all watch love Simon and will be gently disappointed by
Speaker 1: love Simon. But it never crosses our mind that Kay Cannon,
Speaker 1: in making Blockers, has given us a much better gay
Speaker 1: teen comedy. Is it because it centers on a woman?
Speaker 1: I don't know. You would think the fact that it
Speaker 1: was mainstream would make like gave people more into it,
Speaker 1: because all we fucking want is for the mainstream to
Speaker 1: pay attention to us. Um. But I don't understand why
Speaker 1: only only Riley Jeff Silverman, she is the only queer
Speaker 1: voice who has been calling out to America and saying, hey,
Speaker 1: Blockers is a good movie that you should be excited about. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's really funny, and I co parent Holts is
Speaker 1: my friend and my friend Dave Stasin worked on it.
Speaker 1: But I'm not just being enthusiastic about it because m
Speaker 1: my friends worked on it. I'm being enthusiastic about it
Speaker 1: because Blockers is a very funny movie. And I like
Speaker 1: I like a nice mainstream comedy. I like getting Stone
Speaker 1: and going to a mainstream comedy Brooklyn children, do you
Speaker 1: feel that needs to be better than mainstream culture? You
Speaker 1: only want to approach things ironically or at a distance,
Speaker 1: or in your stupid boxy sweatshirts. Um, let me tell
Speaker 1: you like this whole Oh look at how dramatically oversized
Speaker 1: my shirt is thing that is sizest. It is fundamentally sizes.
Speaker 1: It is just one of many ways that you say, oh,
Speaker 1: look at how thin I am, funk all of you.
Speaker 1: I probably shouldn't get into rag threats of how I
Speaker 1: will start crushing your bones between my gigantic media fists.
Speaker 1: That's probably not what lost cultures this is about. But
Speaker 1: when I went and saw Blockers, I wasn't stoned. So
Speaker 1: then I went and I feel pretty stone owned. It
Speaker 1: was really good. It was really good. She's a good action.
Speaker 1: In conclusion, Patti's comedy is rooted in lines, as is
Speaker 1: my gender. My life is a God has come such
Speaker 1: a life, And I will be doing a show heard
Speaker 1: it here first, I'll be doing a launch show at
Speaker 1: Union Hall. But I don't know what the day is
Speaker 1: saying that. But you guys should all come to my
Speaker 1: launch show and buy my book, especially Patty, so she
Speaker 1: can learn how to make a comedy that is rooted
Speaker 1: in true Oh my god, by guys. But I make
Speaker 1: clear that I'm in Palm Springs and have been drinking
Speaker 1: since ten this morning. I don't know if I made
Speaker 1: that clear. I went to Palm Springs in the middle
Speaker 1: of the week for no good reason. Luxurious and also
Speaker 1: gets stoned, but not watch I feel pretty okay, okay,
Speaker 1: And that's our voice from that he's having fun. I
Speaker 1: agree that that we're not talking about Blockers enough because
Speaker 1: I don't think enough people have seen it. I haven't
Speaker 1: seen it. I heard it's good. I heard it's good.
Speaker 1: Our friend Emily Schmidt wrote for it as well. Um,
Speaker 1: a friend of Kake Cannon, Um, Patty. Let's talk about well,
Speaker 1: let's talk well, first of all, let's there's a lot
Speaker 1: to unpack. Yeah, I will say that it does make
Speaker 1: sense learning that he was drunk recording that, and you know,
Speaker 1: m hm, because I was wondering, I was like, why
Speaker 1: would he think I would buy a book? Must have
Speaker 1: been drinking heavily. I would buy a book. As for
Speaker 1: a comedy, my comedy being based in lies. Yes, as
Speaker 1: is your gender identity, as is my gender identity. As
Speaker 1: is I mean everything that I'm saying, everything that I'm doing,
Speaker 1: the way I wear my hair, the way I'm talking
Speaker 1: to you right now, the way I'm looking at you,
Speaker 1: even though people are just going to be able to
Speaker 1: hear this. The way that I'm looking at you, all
Speaker 1: of it is acting. This goes into some like J. D.
Speaker 1: Salander territory. We have an unreliable narrator, you know, in Patty,
Speaker 1: but she's narrating her own life. I don't know J D. Sundress,
Speaker 1: And I don't know what prevarica he wrote Catcher in
Speaker 1: the Rock and the Right, Well, I know that book.
Speaker 1: That book should we look at prevaricate just to like humor,
Speaker 1: look that prevaricate, prevaricate And what is Catcher in the
Speaker 1: rye about? Catching the rise? About a boy who's mad, annoying,
Speaker 1: very annoying. Here we go prevaricated, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: read that verbs speak or act in an evasive way.
Speaker 1: He seemed to prevaricate when journalists asked pointed questions. Okay,
Speaker 1: I do do that. It's a word. It's a word
Speaker 1: for dodging. There you go, deflecting. Provaricator. That's all you
Speaker 1: want to me when I come to with my questions. Prevaricated,
Speaker 1: that's all you lose me. Well, I come to you
Speaker 1: when I'm big true? Who who? Who? The truth? Who? Who?
Speaker 1: Prevaricatea prevaricated my first single. Now I thought that who
Speaker 1: who Who was the good hook. Yes, we're time, it's
Speaker 1: time to move on to I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: This is the segment where we take one minute to
Speaker 1: rail against something in pop culture that is bothering us,
Speaker 1: that we're not really loving. And this is our safe space,
Speaker 1: one minute to really go for it. And I ready
Speaker 1: to go, um, yes, okay, great, you have one. So
Speaker 1: a woman that's going on the clock, Matt Rodgers is
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey. People who can't give Melanni a
Speaker 1: Trump credit for at least looking really good, Like, listen,
Speaker 1: you can say what you want, but you cannot say.
Speaker 1: You can't factually say that she doesn't look good. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden, the conversation has turned to Milannia Trump's wardrobe.
Speaker 1: And we always discussed the first ladies in the way
Speaker 1: they present themselves. And you know what, you can't say
Speaker 1: that she doesn't look good. She does look good. Whether
Speaker 1: or not the outfits mean more than just looking good,
Speaker 1: that's up for debate. If it's more interesting for you
Speaker 1: to say she's wearing white, and that's like a statement.
Speaker 1: The strong hats are a statement. The retrofuturism is a statement.
Speaker 1: That's fine, but just like, don't make it more than
Speaker 1: it is. She looks good. You can't say she looks bad.
Speaker 1: You can have your opinion on Milannia Trump, but you
Speaker 1: don't need to say that she looks bad. The woman
Speaker 1: is dealing with enough. You don't like Donald Trump. Guess what,
Speaker 1: she is married to Donald Trump, y'all. She hasn't much
Speaker 1: worse than us. Just give her a fucking break. She
Speaker 1: could be an evil person. We don't know, but like,
Speaker 1: let's assume that you heard it here first. Milannia Trump
Speaker 1: has it worse than most American people. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that she has to be married to Donald Trump, and
Speaker 1: that's got to be hard. And I'm here right now.
Speaker 1: I made a surprise. Want to thank you so much,
Speaker 1: Matt Bouts for standing up for me. I love you
Speaker 1: and I will be by your side as you have
Speaker 1: been by my side. I love you. I want to
Speaker 1: be here with you. Please look at my outfit. What
Speaker 1: do you think of it now? I think it looks amazing.
Speaker 1: It's a red, really strong shouldered um ensemble that looks
Speaker 1: like it was made. Yes, oh, it was made. Come
Speaker 1: to Sam. Wait, let me clarify. And I think I
Speaker 1: know what you're trying to say. We'll go. I don't
Speaker 1: think that Melannia Trump is like an innocent but all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, every news channel I go to the
Speaker 1: road like Milannia Trump's wardrobe, what do we think? I don't. No,
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you can't argue that she is presenting
Speaker 1: herself well you know what I mean, she looks a
Speaker 1: lot more expensive like like and she looks like a
Speaker 1: lot better like, more presented and more proud of the
Speaker 1: way she put yourself together. Then fucking garbage that she's
Speaker 1: like next to all the time. And also today will
Speaker 1: be Goldberg compared to Jacqueline Kennedy. Okay, here's the thing, though,
Speaker 1: you're Matt's media diet, and you know news diet is
Speaker 1: still the view. Um, he's not really evolved since eight
Speaker 1: years ago. Um, you can't. You can't have that set
Speaker 1: the bar for what the conversation is. And with the
Speaker 1: tenor of I don't want to do this show, stop,
Speaker 1: I mean, Matt, you can't like stop wait are you mad? Okay,
Speaker 1: Matt's leaving and this is real Matt. Matt, come on, okay,
Speaker 1: this is wow. What Matt got up and left? I
Speaker 1: think he probably has to take a shut I think
Speaker 1: he's I think he just actually needs to expel fecal
Speaker 1: matter from his body. I had to fucking ship since
Speaker 1: I texted you and told you I was here in
Speaker 1: front of ability? Is this true? My comedy? My personality
Speaker 1: is lies? It is lies? Um? Fine, fine, okay, Well
Speaker 1: it looks like I've really heard Matt's feelings. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought I thought this was just part of our
Speaker 1: you know, our our banter is just is Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is this? I'm a ghost of who? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: That died? No, Matt, Now you never got to tell
Speaker 1: me in life what you really wanted to tell me.
Speaker 1: And I was your transfer for I crossed over? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, man, what do you want? How did you die? Um?
Speaker 1: A broken heart? My friends didn't support me? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Who are your friends? Patty and Boy? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: What about Travis? What about Travis Moser? Oh? Hey, well
Speaker 1: we just met earlier this yevening. Hey, I would just
Speaker 1: want to clarify to you a ghost, that I wasn't
Speaker 1: actually your friend. Well, this is your moment to tell
Speaker 1: me what you really want to say before I cross
Speaker 1: over to the other side. Matt Waite, the view is news.
Speaker 1: The view is news. I didn't mean what I said.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Now I can go wa what were you
Speaker 1: going to say? I wanted to tell him I'm back
Speaker 1: to listen. Oh now he's listening. I just wanted to say, like,
Speaker 1: I think that I don't know. Sometimes he does this
Speaker 1: thing when he talks where he like rotates his shoulders
Speaker 1: and it's like, I don't think he realizes he's doing
Speaker 1: but it is so jarring and it like makes me
Speaker 1: mistrack of what I'm talking about. He just like rolls
Speaker 1: his head around sea and now that he's dead, he's
Speaker 1: not going to be doing that anymore, which is like,
Speaker 1: I don't know that you're norther. How I can cross on?
Speaker 1: Oh I he heard Afterlife. I don't think Oh my god,
Speaker 1: wait wait hold on okay, alright, uh yeah, okay, hold on,
Speaker 1: hold on? What the fund was that? All right? Hold on?
Speaker 1: My phone is being crazy? Do you want to take mine?
Speaker 1: Can this? We're keeping all of this? I don't think
Speaker 1: any time starts now. I don't think so, Honey. Book
Speaker 1: Club is Okay. I was foisted with this, you know,
Speaker 1: invitation to join this Asian book club, which I thought
Speaker 1: was a great I would be a great idea, But
Speaker 1: guess what the meaning is. The first meeting is May twelve,
Speaker 1: which is to two and a half weeks from now,
Speaker 1: and I'm expected to read the eight hundred page monster
Speaker 1: brick that is Pachinko within that time period. Bitch, I
Speaker 1: have so much reading material to sift through. I have
Speaker 1: Jumper that New Yorker article that came out a few
Speaker 1: years ago about about how the Golden Gate Bridge on
Speaker 1: having railings to prevent suicide and how uh that is uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a sociological issue about aesthetics and about mental health.
Speaker 1: I have. I have some some great new stuff for
Speaker 1: authors that we're going to interview for this podcast that
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about. I do not have time to
Speaker 1: sit and digest an eight page book about a multigenerational
Speaker 1: story about Asians to talk about, because I dee prioritize
Speaker 1: my own race, and that is a choice I'm making.
Speaker 1: That's one minute. Wow, He's making the choice in two
Speaker 1: d prioritize his own race, Patty, And that's okay, But
Speaker 1: your race is like my race. Race. He's just like
Speaker 1: my race. That's cute. I like that you added an
Speaker 1: extra like few words. Um uh no, you know what.
Speaker 1: I just I don't have time. It's about time, and
Speaker 1: it's about deep prioritizing race. I don't know what is
Speaker 1: prioritizing race, you know, leading with it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. People of color can't turn it
Speaker 1: on or off. It's it's part of it's part of
Speaker 1: him there. It's external identity. Patty, are you ready for
Speaker 1: your I don't think so. Funny, yeah, okay, then your
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so, honey. What Ellen
Speaker 1: Degenerous did to me in that hypothetical concert situation that
Speaker 1: was wrong. The way she went she got a pnnect
Speaker 1: to me. She went and she got a pennect to me.
Speaker 1: She got her penis rum moved Ellen Degenerous, and then
Speaker 1: she replaced it with a Rhinos horn and proceeded during
Speaker 1: my opening during my new song. It wasn't my because
Speaker 1: the meddling was over, the medley was over. She I
Speaker 1: was from my and then no one was talking about it.
Speaker 1: And then she impaled my fans and then did three
Speaker 1: front flips. So fast rotating, so fast flung my weaponize
Speaker 1: my fans dead bodies at me. Then proceeded to get
Speaker 1: the whole crowd chanting training before they attacked. And then
Speaker 1: and I think she said something about my race too, right,
Speaker 1: she said, because she's poking fun of my Vietnamese origin.
Speaker 1: And that is something I don't think so and that
Speaker 1: is something I don't think so honey, it's wrong. It's wrong.
Speaker 1: Now I have a surprise, Travis. Would you like to
Speaker 1: do and I don't think so, honey. Do you have
Speaker 1: anything that I don't think so honey about? You can
Speaker 1: also say now or we'd love to hear it. Can
Speaker 1: I do it? Yes? But like it has to be
Speaker 1: something I don't want a thing like where it's like
Speaker 1: I hate. It has to be something where it's like okay, okay, fine, fine,
Speaker 1: And can we cut this if it's horrible? No, we're
Speaker 1: keeping it because it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Okay.
Speaker 1: Um oh, here we go, here we go? Um uh.
Speaker 1: Can I select from a few Yes, let's give you options. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Expensive tableware, Um, okay, that's
Speaker 1: that's that's that's niche that's niche on what come on? Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. People who walk and lines
Speaker 1: on the sidewalk side by side, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: people who walk in lines on the side. It's like
Speaker 1: we are native New Yorkers, Honey. We need you to
Speaker 1: move to either the right or the last, and we
Speaker 1: need you to stay not mom and dad on the right,
Speaker 1: and sister and brother and that we need you all
Speaker 1: to go on the right or so that we can
Speaker 1: we New Yorkers who are getting places can then trudge
Speaker 1: forward to our destinations. We're going to our ripley greers,
Speaker 1: going to our dearest darling forever dogs, going to our
Speaker 1: our patties, beautiful concerts with impaling and different different activities
Speaker 1: with Ellen degenerous. Were where we need you to move
Speaker 1: to the left. No lines, No, this isn't you know
Speaker 1: a daisy chain of people just moving along. It's like,
Speaker 1: please get out of my way. The world's ending. I
Speaker 1: need to get to my destination as a motherfucking p
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Yes, amazing daisy chain of people. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. What was the Joe the Joe Wrigley? What
Speaker 1: have you been there rehearsal space slash sometimes audition space
Speaker 1: for many, a musical theater rehearsal, many, a play rehearsal
Speaker 1: many even a comedy rehearsal actually in the same building.
Speaker 1: And oh, I heard about this fire. I heard about
Speaker 1: the the there's always like a fuffle over there. Ripley
Speaker 1: Greer is like kind of insane, Like being there is
Speaker 1: like an insane heightened experience. It's like a multi sensory experience.
Speaker 1: It's in the way that that movie about the pill
Speaker 1: that makes you access all of your brain. With Bradley Cooper,
Speaker 1: it's exactly like exactly is now a show? Is it? Really?
Speaker 1: Is he in it? He's very famous? Does anybody I've
Speaker 1: never watched it, but you know Bradley Cooper is going
Speaker 1: to be in that A Star is Born movie with
Speaker 1: Lady and I hear it's really good. The trailer brought
Speaker 1: everyone to tears, as can you believe that was it?
Speaker 1: That was? That was that? No, it was a cinema coon.
Speaker 1: The trailer and the reactions were over the top. And
Speaker 1: also people that have seen the movie have said that
Speaker 1: it's amazing and that Bradley Cooper is incredible in it.
Speaker 1: And doesn't make a great job directing on that. Stephanie
Speaker 1: germanata a Lady Gaga is a breakout performance. Was an actress?
Speaker 1: Would you support that and celebrate that. I think that
Speaker 1: she is an incredible performer singer. I think she has
Speaker 1: paid her dues. I think she deserves to have a place.
Speaker 1: I want to see Bradley Cooper nut. I want to
Speaker 1: see him nut at the end where I do want.
Speaker 1: I am curious. I've always wanted to ask Patty this
Speaker 1: because I think she's a very interesting complex relationship with
Speaker 1: the song I'm Born this Way and with Lady Gaga
Speaker 1: in general, because I talk about that because she is
Speaker 1: able to constantly just like mine it for some comedic
Speaker 1: value and just with how fucking stupid the lyrics are
Speaker 1: hot to follow in My Way nor orient like Oriay,
Speaker 1: so talk about like what like what is it about
Speaker 1: Born this Way that you keep coming back to you? Okay?
Speaker 1: So the so Lady Gaga, you know that song was
Speaker 1: on Born this Way, the album you know, coming hot
Speaker 1: out of the fame monster and game changing album. This
Speaker 1: is like her her big com her big her big comig,
Speaker 1: big second Nuts. She was jacking off on the first album,
Speaker 1: and then she finally and she would probably say that too,
Speaker 1: that a Lady Gaga who was always saying really you did.
Speaker 1: And then she also had like a weird accent interview.
Speaker 1: Did she like say something like that. I think Born
Speaker 1: this Way, you know, and the it's the first pop song,
Speaker 1: top forty pop song that used the word transgender in
Speaker 1: it maybe also the you know, first top forty pop
Speaker 1: song that referred to your your orient Also, I just
Speaker 1: think Born this Way is uh, it's just the song.
Speaker 1: The idea of the song is is really fun, like
Speaker 1: i'd great, and then everything else about it is you know,
Speaker 1: there's a there's a wrap break where she's talking like
Speaker 1: she's recording a voice memo in her phone. It's like
Speaker 1: weather Leve's disabilities Live you podcast yourself today because and
Speaker 1: then she likes comes in like guys Transcendaga and there's
Speaker 1: a live version of it. I think she did at
Speaker 1: like the American Music Words or something, or the Grammys
Speaker 1: where she's in that like foole textus and there's an
Speaker 1: organ on stage and and she's just playing star. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love I really really really loved late Born This
Speaker 1: Way era Lady Gagaa I one I think Shy Say
Speaker 1: is a great song. I think Bloody marries an incredible government. Government. Yes,
Speaker 1: I was a baby and I let room okay, but
Speaker 1: do you balance that out with like, oh, Lady Gaga's
Speaker 1: sucking ridiculous. So that era of her was also you know,
Speaker 1: shys really like nice feministic, yeah, really like thoughtful. It
Speaker 1: seems she was trying to be subversive and like. But
Speaker 1: after that she started dating the gap tooth model guy
Speaker 1: and she engaged. Then she started doing all those interviews
Speaker 1: where she was like, I'm not a feminist. Yes, I
Speaker 1: love to cook for my man. I don't like folding
Speaker 1: on everything. I like being sexually submissive. And it was
Speaker 1: just like she defaulted all of it. It's not the
Speaker 1: weird art pop phase. This was like between Our Pop
Speaker 1: and Born this way. She she was dating Taylor Kenney
Speaker 1: and she was like, because she met him on the
Speaker 1: You're Okay, So that that's interesting that she was mentally
Speaker 1: all funked up like while she was creating art pop. Sure, sure,
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I think she folded to the pressure
Speaker 1: of her celebrity, the celebrity that she was commenting on
Speaker 1: in the Fame Monster. It's like the all the nut
Speaker 1: was being put back in. Well, once you to clean
Speaker 1: up the mess, and it sounds like she a really
Speaker 1: hard time once you once you're not Yeah, once you
Speaker 1: know you have to just suck it all back in. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Once you not, you of course have to gather all
Speaker 1: the nuts into your hands and slurp it up. No
Speaker 1: I was I was saying, like you you don't do that,
Speaker 1: your asshole, to just inhale it. Yeah right, you don't
Speaker 1: eat your calm. Yeah, you don't do that right well,
Speaker 1: for you know whether or not you your come ye,
Speaker 1: whether life's disability leave you outcast, or eat your come
Speaker 1: tonight baby baby, you are born this way. No TRANSGENDERO
Speaker 1: the right come come you sing for me as h
Speaker 1: J lurches for the controls. We have to be wrapping up. Um. Travis,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming today. It was an
Speaker 1: honor to have you. Thank you for being here, and
Speaker 1: thank you for bringing this this great stuff for us.
Speaker 1: And also please check out Travis's music. Is the song
Speaker 1: that you just feels like Home? Is that what it's called?
Speaker 1: It feels like Home. It's very beautiful and as is
Speaker 1: the rest of his little catalog that he has on
Speaker 1: Spotify and go check out his shows and everything. It
Speaker 1: sounds like Madonnathan is gonna be very Madonna thought. I
Speaker 1: can't wait. I'll be there. And as for you, traitor
Speaker 1: risk ho, how dare you come in here? I'm gonna come.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying nasty things about Ellen. And it's introvertive.
Speaker 1: That's what she said. She said that to us before
Speaker 1: she came. Yeah, and that's her real voice. Did you
Speaker 1: know that I'm dating Ellen? Fuck Patty? Yeah? Yeah, and
Speaker 1: she she refuses she's a condom. Well, because what condom
Speaker 1: is going to and I did too. Yeah, I'm like yeah,
Speaker 1: and she just spits on it. That's not safe. It's
Speaker 1: not out on this for the end of the episode
Speaker 1: every time, okay everyone, and then I love it. Sometimes
Speaker 1: she'll like put her finger in and then she'll pull
Speaker 1: it out. Also, I also go see guys show, go
Speaker 1: see guy random show. And by his book, by his book,
Speaker 1: and by his book for me, oh yes, by his
Speaker 1: book for the audiobook for Patty. Because she does a read.
Speaker 1: She does a read. If you're going to read, well,
Speaker 1: she doesn't read. She didn't read in the morning, she
Speaker 1: didn't read, dog not read never where. Yes, this has
Speaker 1: been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham,
Speaker 1: Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 1: shows on Apple Podcasts, Modify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
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