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Speaker 1: Native Land Pod is a production of iHeartRadio and partnership

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Speaker 1: with Recent Choice Medium.

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Speaker 2: Welcome Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

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Speaker 1: Welcome home, y'all's it is a mini pod of Native Land.

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Speaker 1: I'm here with Andrew Gillo and Angela Ry and we

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Speaker 1: are already off the tage. Y'allcause too. We on this

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Speaker 1: mini pod because Andrew told us this crazy story. We

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Speaker 1: decided to I'll get to that, Andrew. We decided that

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Speaker 1: we was going to tell the story of the craziest

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Speaker 1: situation you've ever found yourself in. And so some of

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Speaker 1: these stories, I'll tell your heads up. Some are going

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Speaker 1: to be clean and funny. But I'm gonna just tell

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Speaker 1: you now, this is not for young kids listening when

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Speaker 1: I get to my story, because it is an absolutely

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Speaker 1: crazy story, So proceed with caution.

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Speaker 3: I just want to warn the parents again, do not

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Speaker 3: let your kids listening.

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Speaker 4: When Tip's voice come on this podcast, cut it off.

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Speaker 1: Andrew tell us the craziest.

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Speaker 2: Well, the funny thing is is one. I actually think

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Speaker 2: I had a lot of crazy stories on the trail,

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Speaker 2: but it's like I've been trying to black them all out.

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Speaker 2: But but there have been some crazy things that have happened,

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Speaker 2: but I keep it innocent. I in a former life

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Speaker 2: worked as a part fundraiser for an organization and raising

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Speaker 2: money for the cause the work we were doing. And

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Speaker 2: I was actually out on a visit to l A

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Speaker 2: visiting with one of our donors.

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Speaker 3: You should go first, because yours go better. With tift

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Speaker 3: in mine, I should have went first.

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Speaker 1: No, Mom's not.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I'm at this donor's house. We're sitting down.

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Speaker 2: You know, beautiful lived in Beverly Hills, and I love her,

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Speaker 2: you know, dearly, but she has you know, she's got animals,

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Speaker 2: and I love animals. I think they're great. I just

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Speaker 2: don't own anything thereat. But I think I'm probably less

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Speaker 2: a fan of cats. I just have had for a

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Speaker 2: long time this vision that they like might strike me,

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Speaker 2: which actually you got cemented with this one visit that

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Speaker 2: I had out in LA. And so we're sitting there,

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Speaker 2: I'm explaining the update of the program. I'm sitting on

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Speaker 2: her couch. She's across diagonal to me, actually sitting in

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Speaker 2: a chair, an armchair, and her cat comes from around

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Speaker 2: the corner and I see it, you know, walking real,

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Speaker 2: you know, like cats walk, you know, But except for me,

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Speaker 2: because I'm terre like the thing, and I am, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know that this is a little it's a sexy thing,

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Speaker 2: but it's it's really it's kind of scary to me.

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Speaker 2: I always think they're about to pounce, so I know,

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Speaker 2: I know, friend.

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Speaker 5: So so the cat comes around her, goes from her feet,

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Speaker 5: and then it rounds the little coffee table and now

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Speaker 5: it's to my right and I'm speaking to her to

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Speaker 5: my diagonal left. And as the.

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Speaker 2: Cat starts to approach the couch and comes toward, you know,

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Speaker 2: down toward my legs, she says, oh no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: don't bet her. She's schizophrenic. So I'm like, schizophrenic. I'm

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Speaker 2: processing a lot here. Schizophrenic cat casisphenic? Is it same

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Speaker 2: like human schizophrenia, Like it can change attitudes and moods

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Speaker 2: like without noticing stuff. And then the cat goes from

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Speaker 2: the floor and like effortlessly jumps from the floor to

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Speaker 2: the seated part of the couch and then up the

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Speaker 2: arm of the couch and is now on where you

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Speaker 2: rest your head, the.

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Speaker 5: Back of the couch.

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Speaker 2: It's now approaching me from my right. But I'm supposed

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Speaker 2: to be talking to her who is on my left.

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Speaker 2: But I'm processing that the cat is schizophrenic, and all

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Speaker 2: I can imagine is this thing is gonna fucking swipe

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Speaker 2: my neck and head face when I'm turned. And it

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Speaker 2: continues to come, and so I go, I don't know.

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Speaker 5: If I should pet it.

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Speaker 2: You know, And then she, you know, she calls the

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Speaker 2: cat's name, and and the cat sort of you know,

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Speaker 2: jumps down onto this again, the seated part. I've now

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Speaker 2: stood up, and like partially stood up because I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be completely awkward.

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Speaker 5: But I want to acknowledge. I'm attempting to acknowledge.

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Speaker 2: That you don't want me to pet the cat, and

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Speaker 2: I'm so inclined to pet the cat, So let me

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Speaker 2: just get out of the way so I don't pay.

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Speaker 4: Narrator Edit, he does not want to piss this cat

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Speaker 4: trying I'm trying to do.

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Speaker 5: I really want to put that.

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Speaker 2: I want her to come and get the pet and

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Speaker 2: move the pet into a room that we aren't in.

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Speaker 2: But she she like does a little thing, and let's

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Speaker 2: just call her Betty, Okay, Betty, Betty pain Andrew. I

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Speaker 2: ain't telling because it might they might know. Betty is

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Speaker 2: still now seated on the couch where my where I

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Speaker 2: was seated a minute ago. And at this point I'm

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Speaker 2: now sort of standing seated, but the woman hasn't come

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Speaker 2: and gotten the cat yet. And then I said, you

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Speaker 2: know what, it's okay if you want to take a break.

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Speaker 2: I don't mind if we take a break. So you know, Betty,

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Speaker 2: you know, in case you wanted to to have Betty

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Speaker 2: come with you.

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Speaker 5: And she says, oh no, no, no, she'll be fine,

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Speaker 5: to be fine, to be fine.

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Speaker 2: And at this point now I'm sort of on my face,

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Speaker 2: not giving relief, but like frustration, and I hurried through

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Speaker 2: the rest of the story with her. I did sit down,

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Speaker 2: and I kept my eye on Betty to my to

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Speaker 2: my right, without looking disrespectful to the woman who I

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Speaker 2: was there to meet. But I tell y'all, if if

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Speaker 2: peeing on yourself a little bit almo somebody's couch was appropriate,

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Speaker 2: I probably.

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Speaker 5: I mean, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Someone says, schizophron restraint in order?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it'sophrenic all like, is a schizophrenic.

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Speaker 1: But underrated story is making me real hesitant to tell

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Speaker 1: the story.

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Speaker 2: So and it didn't swipe me and I got out

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Speaker 2: of there.

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Speaker 1: I definitely rethinking, that's my g rated I'm having second

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Speaker 1: thoughts completely, yes, because all de rated ass stories. But

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Speaker 1: let me here you are.

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Speaker 3: There are no studies or research that proves cats have schizophrenia.

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Speaker 4: We do not.

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Speaker 3: We cannot get inside their minds enough to know. So

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Speaker 3: maybe that gives you a little bit of comfort. Not

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Speaker 3: not then, Andrew, but maybe now in case you gets

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Speaker 3: another one.

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Speaker 1: We got we got n man is left. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: need to.

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Speaker 5: Hearty, I don't need all.

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Speaker 4: Well, we're going to go from a very g rated

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Speaker 4: story to ill give it a PG. Thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Even though I was just eight, I had just taken

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Speaker 3: my first communion. I was raised Catholic with my mother

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Speaker 3: and my father. My dad is Baptist, but I was

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Speaker 3: raised Catholic until I was in high school and started

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Speaker 3: asking more questions and decided that I would go the

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Speaker 3: Protestant route.

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Speaker 4: And now I go to a church, a guid in

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Speaker 4: Christ Church. Nevertheless, here we go.

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Speaker 3: So the first communion second grade, my mother made me

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Speaker 3: this beautiful dress. I had a pretty veil that day.

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Speaker 3: I was fly down to the socks, white pat and

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Speaker 3: leather shoes. And after first communion in our family, my

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Speaker 3: mother's side of The family's from southern Louisiana, so Catholicism

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Speaker 3: is a big deal. It's a big deal to have

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Speaker 3: first Communion and you have a little after party. So

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Speaker 3: we had a little after party. And speaking of cats,

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Speaker 3: I had a cat growing up. His name was Tiger,

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Speaker 3: and I was trying to get Tiger. All the family

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Speaker 3: was over, including my grandparents and my great aunts and uncles,

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Speaker 3: and I couldn't get the cat, and so I was

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Speaker 3: running after the cat and I said, come here, you

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Speaker 3: little bastard.

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Speaker 4: Again.

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Speaker 3: I was in the second grade, and bastard is not

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Speaker 3: something they want you to say any day, especially not on.

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Speaker 4: First communion for all the elders. So it was like

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Speaker 4: a record stop.

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Speaker 1: And my dad, what did you saying? I was like,

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Speaker 1: that's what you call the cat, that is the nickname.

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Speaker 4: So I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I learned that day that bastard was a bad word,

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Speaker 3: at least in my family, and that that is not

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Speaker 3: the appropriate name for Tiger, the cat bastard.

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Speaker 4: So the world stopped and I thought I was going.

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Speaker 3: To hall because I said a cuss word on first

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Speaker 3: Communion day. But the last here we are, although we

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Speaker 3: still might be in hell depending on how you look

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Speaker 3: at the state of this country right now. But uh,

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Speaker 3: first Communion, I got.

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Speaker 4: To be Catholic. Actually, I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: You got a bastard on Communion day?

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Speaker 4: You have comunion?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm just saying you basket day. I

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Speaker 2: got a whoop band because I said the word help

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Speaker 2: I heard. I heard adults.

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Speaker 5: Saying, oh, he's so helpful, she's so helpful.

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Speaker 2: So I was trying to say that somebody was being helpful,

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Speaker 2: but my mother and Auntie heard it as heifa, which

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Speaker 2: I had no idea what a heifa was.

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Speaker 4: You said half and I got a he helfa.

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Speaker 2: I was trying to say helpful, she helpful, he's helpful, helpful?

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Speaker 2: She thought I said help her baby, but you really

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Speaker 2: did say I actually said.

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Speaker 4: Very little bastard, And now the world stopped in that moment.

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Speaker 3: It's not that it's the craziest situation I've been in,

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Speaker 3: but it's probably the most awkward where I felt like

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Speaker 3: I disappointed the whole family and was in trouble. I

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Speaker 3: really didn't know what My dad shouldn't have been calling

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Speaker 3: the cannabastard that Papa ritis is your fault, shouldn't have

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Speaker 3: been calling the catabastard.

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Speaker 6: Okay, they're impressionable. So now we going to graduate from

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Speaker 6: p gu I mean story.

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Speaker 1: Feeling like my story is completely inappropriate for your.

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Speaker 5: Adult lives, I think you should give it.

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Speaker 1: Come on, well, because you're an instigator, so give them.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 1: If you've been listening with your family up until now,

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Speaker 1: thinking oh, these are cute little story, now it would

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Speaker 1: be the time to tell your kids this ain't this

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Speaker 1: part of the story. And even if you're twenty, like,

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Speaker 1: you gotta be twenty five and not maybe thirty two maybe.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, you got to be forty

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Speaker 1: plus to hear this story. Give it all right, I

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Speaker 1: will tell it quickly because we're running out of time.

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Speaker 1: I'm in my twenties. Uh. And you know in Washington,

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Speaker 1: d C. This is where Angela and I were professionally groomed,

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Speaker 1: so it's you know, there's a high standard of excellence

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Speaker 1: and everything got to be on tight. So it's a

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Speaker 1: very intense environment. And so we had fun when we

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Speaker 1: would hang out together. And that's when you were able.

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Speaker 1: You ford's lifelong friendships, and you know, you meet people

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Speaker 1: and get close. So I was friends with some young ladies.

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Speaker 1: And we started talking one night about the act of fillatio.

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Speaker 4: Okay, and so I was this conversation, by the way,

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Speaker 4: because she threw.

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Speaker 1: Me here, I'm not there. Angela was not there. She

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Speaker 1: knows everybody who was, but she was not there. And

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Speaker 1: we started talking about but like, how exactly are you

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Speaker 1: supposed to do it? You know, we were in our

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Speaker 1: twenties and we were like, is it like, are you

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Speaker 1: like trying to get a golf ball through a water hole?

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Speaker 1: You're just bobbing, and we like, what are you doing

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Speaker 1: as a results? This is what I'm trying to tell y'all.

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Speaker 1: Y'all talk about community. Anyway, we did talk about kids. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we're figuring it out and we're like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't really know, girl, I don't really know. We're like,

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Speaker 1: you know, why, guys, we should have a party and

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Speaker 1: like have a little cocktail party and we'll call it

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Speaker 1: cocktails over cocktails. And so we invited like some girl girls,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, Okay, we're all going to this girl's house.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have a little party, just some little silly

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Speaker 1: thing to do on a Saturday. And we're like, we

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Speaker 1: should get somebody to come over, like who really knows

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Speaker 1: and can like tell us all about it. We can

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Speaker 1: ask all our embarrassing question. So they're like okay, great.

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Speaker 1: So we're there having a good time and the person

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Speaker 1: who was supposed to come like this doesn't show up.

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Speaker 1: It's like eleven o'clock and you know, it was past

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Speaker 1: my bedtime. So the party dying down, some people leave,

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Speaker 1: it's like five or six of us left, and then

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Speaker 1: someone knocks at the door and this woman comes in

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Speaker 1: with a massage table and a man walks in behind her,

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Speaker 1: and we were really clear this is a girl's only gathering.

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Speaker 1: So the guy comes in and we're all like trying

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Speaker 1: to like we're nervous at this point.

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Speaker 4: At this point, what like we.

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Speaker 1: Got like we had like higher bartenders, like it was

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Speaker 1: an all girl shabag. So he's literally the only man

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Speaker 1: there and we're all like why is he here? Like

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Speaker 1: what's happening? And so she he says, is there a

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Speaker 1: place where I can go get changed? And we're all

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Speaker 1: like okay, And also these people look pretty familiar to us,

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Speaker 1: but we can't quite place it. But it's dc, so

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Speaker 1: you know, everybody look familiar there, but we've they're like

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Speaker 1: we've seen them in the spots before. Okay. So the

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Speaker 1: girl comes out and she's now like in a little

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Speaker 1: neglige and the guy is nude, okay, and she proceeds

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Speaker 1: to then give us a life instruction.

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Speaker 5: You guys, she.

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Speaker 1: Was verbally talking through it and performing. Okay. But I

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Speaker 1: am so uncomfortable because not now.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I want you to know before, before I told this story,

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Speaker 1: I gave them a previous said I just want you

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Speaker 1: to know my story is gonna be about this. They said, no,

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Speaker 1: tell no one.

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Speaker 4: You was gonna be like you went to a porn concert.

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Speaker 1: Okay, can I just tell you? So I'm so uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: We're sitting there and I because it gets quiet of

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Speaker 1: course when when she can't speak because he's making it

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Speaker 1: to night and so right, and so I am like, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: let me just finish this. So I'm little me didn't

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Speaker 1: finish the story. And then I answer all questions, please

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Speaker 1: hold thank you. So I'm trying to like talk through

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Speaker 1: it because it's so we are all like literally petrified,

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Speaker 1: like we are frozen looking at this like what the

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Speaker 1: hell is happening? And so I'm trying to talk through

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Speaker 1: it because it's like awkward silence, and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so you're okay, You're you're grabbing there and you're touching there.

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Speaker 1: And finally one of my friends was like, Manchael, you

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Speaker 1: stop narrating. We can see what's happening trying, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm sorry, I'm so uncomfortable. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do. So this happens. She finishes. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: everybody finishes, and then they and they're like, okay, any

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Speaker 1: questions tons the first, third and last question little journalists

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Speaker 1: right here, because.

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Speaker 4: I had question and last questions.

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Speaker 1: I asked them, had they ever done anything like this before?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like do y'all like publicly the host of the event?

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Speaker 4: Yes, this was the Constitution.

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Speaker 1: Yes, not really, it's not really politicians. Well I don't

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Speaker 1: know the payment part. But what we concluded is like, oh,

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Speaker 1: ship you guys. You know how we know these people?

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Speaker 1: They work on Capitol Hill. One was a delegate and

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Speaker 1: one worked on Capitol Hill. We were like, oh my

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Speaker 1: one was it? Yes, of a political party and that's

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Speaker 1: all I'm going to say about identities, but it was why.

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Speaker 1: And then honestly they got dressed, they left, and we

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Speaker 1: are like, it's like after you went so crazy, there

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Speaker 1: are literally no work. But we didn't even have a

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Speaker 1: conversation about it that night. We all just got up

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Speaker 1: and walked out, since let's just go home. I don't

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Speaker 1: we have never had as the one girl who hosted,

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Speaker 1: she and I talked about it, like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that was the craziest shit. Can you believe that that

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Speaker 1: was the craziest scenario I have ever found myself.

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Speaker 2: To know that they were fierce professionals about what they

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Speaker 2: did the right That's what I'm like.

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Speaker 1: These were like working professionals who had careers and jobs,

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Speaker 1: and they were sexually uninhibited, and you know, they were

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Speaker 1: like they were not shy about you know, they were like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so this is what's what and is what it is?

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Speaker 4: The moonlight?

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Speaker 1: I mean, well, I guess I don't even know that

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Speaker 1: they were doing it for the money. I think it

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, y'all want our time, like this is

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Speaker 1: what it is, because whatever it was, none of us

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Speaker 1: had money like that, so we were having them. But

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Speaker 1: it was right. I think it was a level of exhibitionism,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, they were a couple. They were like a, yes,

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Speaker 1: this was her boyfriend, this was her boyfriend, and they

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Speaker 1: were like, yo, okay, y'all wanted to learn how to

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Speaker 1: do some things. Let me show you how to do okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: I really don't appreciate telling this story. If you talking

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Speaker 1: about a cat and Angela talking about communion, I okay.

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Speaker 3: I thought you were saying that this was going that

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Speaker 3: something happened at an event and it was gonna be

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Speaker 3: like heard on the Hill kind of scooped.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know that we was going to be dropped

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Speaker 4: into a two B porno. I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you know what, I don't want I don't

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Speaker 1: want to air this episode.

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Speaker 3: You know what, like this entire episode space We're just mortified.

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Speaker 1: But you know, my most awkward story is one time

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Speaker 1: when I was little, I said hell in front of

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Speaker 1: my Now she's going, you're going bletschizophrantico to okay our defense.

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Speaker 1: I saw a job.

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Speaker 3: Before we started this episode, I couldn't think of anything,

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Speaker 3: and I wanted to tell the Steph's favorite story that

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Speaker 3: I tell about being anyway.

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Speaker 1: But I told y'all what the story was about, y'all

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Speaker 1: gonna be at an event.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know that y'all was talking event.

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Speaker 1: I was this is probably two thousand and six.

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Speaker 3: Maybe inside right now, I think you were just.

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Speaker 1: Saying that because I told her who before we started.

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Speaker 3: My stomach is like, well, I'm gonna tell you. I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna tell you because I know the person. Yeah, he

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Speaker 3: was a HOUCHI, he was a huccie.

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Speaker 1: I don't know anything.

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Speaker 5: Bad about him.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but we thank him for volunteer.

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Speaker 2: Conversation I tried to do.

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Speaker 1: This is not the podcast I listen with your kids.

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Speaker 1: This is the craziest situation I found myself.

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Speaker 4: The craziest situations we want to hear about him.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully they're a little less x rated than tips version

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Speaker 3: and maybe a little bit just.

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Speaker 1: Tell my stories.

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Speaker 3: It's a cross generations that it's across of.

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Speaker 4: The range of from to car trade it.

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Speaker 3: You get all things on Native lamp Pod because you

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Speaker 3: are home.

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Speaker 4: So we welcomed you home, y'all, welcome home.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of these two and yes, we're just glad that

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Speaker 3: you didn't participate in the act.

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Speaker 2: The cats in all their forms that should be the

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Speaker 2: cats and dogs welcome.

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Speaker 1: Native lamp Pod is a production of iHeart Radio and

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Speaker 1: partnership with Reason Choice Media. For more podcasts from my

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Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever

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Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.