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Speaker 1: These hoes be coming for your heart, his hoes becoming

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Speaker 1: for your heart.

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Speaker 2: Man, More and more better, more better, a little bit

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Speaker 2: more better more.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending

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Speaker 1: to have it all together and embrace the journey of

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Speaker 1: becoming a little more better every day, or at least

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Speaker 1: trying to. That's mosta from Marrow and that's Stephanie Beatrice.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the pod. Guys.

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 1: How are you guys? Welcome back, Melissa. What have you

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Speaker 1: done lately? That's a little more better? What have I

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Speaker 1: been doing lately? I'm about to leave for this job,

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Speaker 1: And so I go through phases where I'm really good

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Speaker 1: at like showing up for people or like making plans,

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Speaker 1: and then the rest of the time you're fucking garbage

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Speaker 1: at Yeah, sorry, no, I know. And then I think

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Speaker 1: I just go through hibernation periods where I just like

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Speaker 1: don't see anyone and just like become a very big

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Speaker 1: homebody and like just hang out with my family. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: so okay, okay, I'm listening. But I think lately I've

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Speaker 1: been a little more better about just making sure to

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Speaker 1: like make plans and follow through and show up to

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Speaker 1: things and and yeah just like show up to people.

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Speaker 1: I do feel my social battery like starting to get

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Speaker 1: a little low. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, But it

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Speaker 1: also feels really good to like see friends and stuff

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Speaker 1: because I actually feel like over the summer we saw

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Speaker 1: friends and like, you know, we traveled and saw family,

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Speaker 1: but like we didn't really do a lot of like

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Speaker 1: adult social hangs, Like David and I didn't really go

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Speaker 1: out to any dinners or like we kind of just

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Speaker 1: did family stuff and we're kind of homebody over the summer.

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Speaker 1: But it was nice. Yeah. But now I'm like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we got to get back out there. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like I've been more better at that. Dave guy has

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Speaker 1: been like going on double dates and stuff. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: and like doing stuff. Yeah that's cute. Yeah that's really cute.

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Speaker 1: Considering you're gonna leave soon and you're not going to

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Speaker 1: see him for three weeks. I think that's very good

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Speaker 1: to bank that time. Yeah, totally necessary. What about you?

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Speaker 1: What have you been doing lately? That's more better? Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's see, I've I've been really good at asking for hope.

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Speaker 1: Ooh that's a big one. Is great at that, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm really not good at it, especially not my family.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I feel the deep need to do everything

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Speaker 1: by myself otherwise I'm a failure. But that's not true.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's not true at all. It's not true. And

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Speaker 1: I've been trying to like be there for people when

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Speaker 1: I can, like I did. I recently did a friend's

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Speaker 1: podcast and did the live show of dough Boys here

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Speaker 1: in Toronto. Fun and that was really fun. So like

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Speaker 1: and I said I was gonna I was like offered

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Speaker 1: myself up as a guest, Like I was like, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: I'll be a guest if you want. Yeah, And that

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Speaker 1: was a little like oh is that okay that I

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Speaker 1: did that? So that was like brave of me. And

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Speaker 1: then the actual podcast, I was really nervous because they're

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Speaker 1: really funny. They're like funny jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes

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Speaker 1: is just like femny. So are you? I know, thank you,

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Speaker 1: but you know that there's I know, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, Like it's it's hard when it's like improv

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Speaker 1: people or stand ups sometimes all the time, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they're really good at it. Like yeah, there are

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Speaker 1: people that are guest stars on our show this season

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Speaker 1: that are incredibly incredibly funny, and you know I am

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Speaker 1: funny too, but like some people are just gifted in

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Speaker 1: another way, like you know what I mean. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it can be like a little intimidating comparison situations.

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Speaker 1: It's more like a you know, it's more like go wow,

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Speaker 1: that people's that person's like really gifted at that. I'm

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Speaker 1: gifted at other things anyway. But I like I braved

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Speaker 1: it and did it. I ate this, like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I ate this honey croller on stage because they brought

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Speaker 1: them on stage there we did Tim Horton. So the

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Speaker 1: whole thing Boys podcast is like they eat different fast

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Speaker 1: food chains. So we're in Canada, so we ate Tim

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Speaker 1: Horton's I ate a honey croller on stage. I went

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Speaker 1: into like septic shock, but like sugar shock. I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: talk about that, but like no, I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: because you don't do a ton of sugar, and when

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Speaker 1: you don't do a ton of sugar and you eat

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Speaker 1: something like that, I felt like my eyeballs were gonna

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Speaker 1: shoot out of my head. Yes, it was fucking gnarly

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Speaker 1: bro like I at one point, I was like if

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Speaker 1: I had a ton of shoes on I would run

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Speaker 1: around this stage like I felt I thought like at

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Speaker 1: one point I was like, should I fly away? Like

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Speaker 1: I could fly away? Right now? I think I can fly, guys, Guys,

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Speaker 1: I think I can fly. So yeah, that's what I've

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Speaker 1: been doing, like, you know, just trying to just like

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Speaker 1: I don't know if any of that was more better,

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Speaker 1: but it felt more better. It felt kind of brave

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Speaker 1: doing something. Yeah, you just you did something that scared

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Speaker 1: you a little bit, Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: taking time for myself and stuff more better. So today's

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Speaker 1: today's episode topic, guys, how about my segue? Did you like? That?

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Speaker 1: Was like so smooth? It was smooth. It was smooth.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode topic actually comes from a listener. If you

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Speaker 1: guys have any suggestions. By the way, by the way,

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Speaker 1: we see you on the internet and we like it.

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Speaker 1: We'd like it. Yeah, when you guys like tag us

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Speaker 1: and stuff, we don't always get we can't always like

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Speaker 1: get into conversations and stuff, but we see when you

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Speaker 1: guys tag us. You see when you guys are commenting

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Speaker 1: on especially social media stuff. We love seeing your comments

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Speaker 1: and reading everything. And if you have a suggestion for

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Speaker 1: a future episode, always email us. At Morebetter Pod at

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Speaker 1: gmail dot com, and you can include a voice note

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Speaker 1: if you want to be featured on the pod. Let's

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Speaker 1: read the email. Shawee, Melissa show we yes here, I'll

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Speaker 1: read it. Okay, Hi, Stephanie and Melissa. My name is Vivian.

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Speaker 1: I'm from Germany. Cool and I'm a huge fan of

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Speaker 1: your podcast. Thank you, Vivian. My suggestion for a topic

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Speaker 1: is how to deal more better with heartbreak and breakups.

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Speaker 1: I went through a tough breakup myself when my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and I ended our five year relationship a few months ago,

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Speaker 1: and I still have a hard time moving on. I

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Speaker 1: would love to hear what your thoughts are. Vivian. Oh,

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Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations, yes, truly, truly that when I

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Speaker 1: hear people have broken up, because you just never know

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Speaker 1: like why they broke up or how what it was,

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Speaker 1: but like more likely than not, it was for the

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Speaker 1: best of all parties involved. So congrats. Mm hmm. Even

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Speaker 1: though I might not feel like that right now one

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Speaker 1: hundred percent, I actually have a good friend going through

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Speaker 1: a breakup right now, and the same thing. At first,

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Speaker 1: I was like because it came out of the blue

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Speaker 1: and it was very like, you know, there wasn't a progression.

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Speaker 1: There weren't really warning signs, so it was just kind

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Speaker 1: of like, hey, I'm not happy, I'm gonna leave you

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Speaker 1: like that kind of thing. Yeah. And so are were

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Speaker 1: they married? Are they are living together? Living together?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: I know. And and then as I started asking questions

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Speaker 1: because I didn't know their partner very well, as I

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Speaker 1: started asking questions, I started to see a pattern of

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Speaker 1: my friend did a lot more in this relationship than

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Speaker 1: the other person. And then the second thing I sort

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Speaker 1: of discovered was my friend went through a really tough

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Speaker 1: period and that seemed to be the thing that the

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Speaker 1: partner sort of referred to as like, you know, when

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Speaker 1: things in the relationship weren't good, and it just sounded

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Speaker 1: like they were centering themselves while you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And I was just I just had to go, whoa, whoa, whoa,

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Speaker 1: you're my friend. I love you. Life is long, Relationships

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Speaker 1: are tough, they go through ups and downs. Yeah, David

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Speaker 1: and I I shared with him the first year after

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Speaker 1: we were married, like you know, a very close family

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Speaker 1: member passed and it was very sad and it was

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Speaker 1: very ugly and hard, and you know, we went through

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Speaker 1: this hard thing and I was like, hard things are

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Speaker 1: always going to fucking happen. You went through a hard thing,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes when your partner's going through something hard, you

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Speaker 1: do have to, like some of your needs kind of

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Speaker 1: have to be you know, put on hold a little

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Speaker 1: bit because you've got to be there for your person,

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Speaker 1: right because you got to understand that, like they need

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Speaker 1: a little more support in that moment, Like this person

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Speaker 1: just instead centered themselves and said, hey, well what about me?

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Speaker 1: And yeah, and I was like, is that someone you

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Speaker 1: want to start a family with? Is that someone you

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Speaker 1: want to dodge? Bullet nudged? That's what I said. I said,

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Speaker 1: I I know you're hurting, but I feel like this

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Speaker 1: might be a blessing in disguise because I think you

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Speaker 1: just you were you were ring shopping, like damn hopefully,

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Speaker 1: I think you know. The first thing I would ask

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Speaker 1: Vivian is just like if you can, in a way

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Speaker 1: like step back and look at the big picture, is

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Speaker 1: this person really going to be like your ride or

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Speaker 1: day like exactly person really going to like have your

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Speaker 1: back through like life's toughest moments. Yeah, yeah, it's so,

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Speaker 1: But it's hard, man. Heartbreak is hard. It's really hard.

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Speaker 1: It's it's hard even when both parties are it's it's

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Speaker 1: hard when no one's at fault. It's hard when someone's

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Speaker 1: at fault. It's hard when no one's a fault, right,

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Speaker 1: it's hard. Yeah. Like I remember, you know, having a breakup,

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Speaker 1: and it was like everybody was trying to be after

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Speaker 1: we got over the heart, like the the shitty, icky part.

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Speaker 1: It was like everyone was trying to be adults, and

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Speaker 1: it was still really hard. It's just like, it's really

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Speaker 1: difficult to entangle untangle your entangled life. It's not a word,

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Speaker 1: is it. Untangled? Yeah, just disentangled. Oh god, I'm uned

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Speaker 1: an English major. Oh no, untangled, disentangled, untangled is correct.

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Speaker 1: Disentangle is not a word. But you know what Shakespeare

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Speaker 1: made should up And I'm definitely just like Shakespeare. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you are so like it's just really, I mean, five

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Speaker 1: years two, it feels like forever. That's hard. You probably

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Speaker 1: they probably shared friends and oh god, that's awful. The

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Speaker 1: first time I ever had my heartbroken, I was eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship with my high school boyfriend

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Speaker 1: at the time, and we I knew we were probably

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Speaker 1: going to break up after high school, but like I

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Speaker 1: was kind of holding on to hope that we wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I remember a prom having this like big, dramatic, like

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Speaker 1: cry moment on the on the prom floor because it

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Speaker 1: was like, we're gonna break up. I just know it,

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Speaker 1: and like I should have. I should I wish I

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Speaker 1: had been brave enough to be like, we should break

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Speaker 1: up for the summer, but I couldn't because he was

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Speaker 1: just like everything that I had ever wanted, you know. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: I was sixteen. We started dating, and then we both

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Speaker 1: went to our respective schools and I was going to

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Speaker 1: school in Missouri, he was going to school in Texas.

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Speaker 1: And then the week of freshman orientation he called me

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Speaker 1: and was like, I slept with someone. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm laughing now, but I was devastating, devastated because at

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Speaker 1: the time I also hadn't had sex yet, like I was.

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Speaker 1: I was a late bloomer, and I was just devastated.

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Speaker 1: Number One one, that you know, he had had sex

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Speaker 1: with someone else. I just couldn't believe it. Number Two,

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Speaker 1: that he was breaking up with me, like over the phone.

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, this can't be. I tried to

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Speaker 1: get him back for like six months, like I just

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Speaker 1: was all. It was all consuming, all consuming. It was

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Speaker 1: all about Travis, was everything was about Travis, and like

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Speaker 1: I just couldn't imagine a world in which that wasn't

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Speaker 1: what I wanted. Yeah, And like that's the hard thing

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Speaker 1: about breakups. Heart hard thing about heartbreak is like in

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Speaker 1: the moment, you really cannot imagine a world where this

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Speaker 1: doesn't hurt as much as it does in that moment.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard to trust that there will be a

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Speaker 1: life beyond that heartbreak. It's really hard to trust. Trust

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Speaker 1: comes with like time and experience, and like, already it's been,

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Speaker 1: however many months, she said, six months since the break up,

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Speaker 1: five months, six five months, Like it doesn't hurt as

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Speaker 1: bad as it did probably that very first day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it still probably hurts really, really bad. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna keep hurting for a while. Was that thing

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Speaker 1: on Sex and the City where she was like, you

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Speaker 1: get over a breakup for in half the time that

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Speaker 1: you guys were together, which is like kind of a

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Speaker 1: bullshit rule, but kind of helps a little bit. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I think it takes the pressure off of oh

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Speaker 1: it's been so long and I still feel like this,

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Speaker 1: you know, I myself have been through some gnarly like

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Speaker 1: love breakups, but I think the ones that I had

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Speaker 1: an even harder time getting through were the friend breakups.

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Speaker 1: I had like two big ones in my twenties. Fucking brutal, brutal,

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Speaker 1: brutal and these toes becoming for your heart, these hoes

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Speaker 1: becoming for your becoming for your heart. Man and same.

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Speaker 1: It's like what you were saying about trust, it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, so much of my trust was broken. The

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Speaker 1: first friendship sort of fell apart in a we were

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Speaker 1: roommates and there was like a big dumb fight at

246
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Speaker 1: the end of it, and I felt really betrayed and

247
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,240
Speaker 1: it was like a little bit over money and that

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Speaker 1: kind of thing. And we had a lot of mutual friends,

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Speaker 1: which ended up helping a little bit because some of them,

250
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,480
Speaker 1: most of them were like, no, I think you were

251
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Speaker 1: right in this situation. But also who knows friends be

252
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,120
Speaker 1: just being friends and they could have been saying that

253
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Speaker 1: to both of us. But I felt really betrayed and

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Speaker 1: this person I was like my best friend, Like I mean,

255
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 1: we were roommates, we spent so much time together, and

256
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Speaker 1: you know, and then the second friend, uh friendship was

257
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Speaker 1: more of the situation of me kind of realizing one

258
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Speaker 1: day like oh, I think I put so much more

259
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Speaker 1: into this friendship than this other person. Oh my god,

260
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Speaker 1: And I don't think this person is a good friend

261
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Speaker 1: and like doesn't value quality time with me and the

262
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Speaker 1: way like I'm always trying to hang out when it's

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Speaker 1: not like a party or we're not like going to

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Speaker 1: the club or like you know, and they're always busy

265
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Speaker 1: like that kind of stuff. And again, I just felt

266
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Speaker 1: in the world and is Molisa from Maro calling you

267
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Speaker 1: up and being like, hey, do you want to like

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Speaker 1: hang out and get coffee And You're like no, Like

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Speaker 1: what are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Who?

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Speaker 1: So it's like I'm busy or you know, there was

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00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 1: always excuses. There's no problem. Boom. That is something that

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Speaker 1: you learn, right, Like you learn that those people they

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Speaker 1: might not be bad people, but when they don't want

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Speaker 1: to spend time with you, when they don't want to

276
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Speaker 1: be with you anymore, when they don't, it's like boo boo.

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Speaker 1: There's plenty of people that would love love to like

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Speaker 1: hold your hand through life and guard your heart carefully

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Speaker 1: and like be your close companion, as they say in

280
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Speaker 1: Anne green Gables, your bosom friend, you know, like there's

281
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Speaker 1: lots of people and there are, but I but I

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00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 1: think the two breakups, the first one broke my trust

283
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Speaker 1: and made me, I think, afraid to trust someone again,

284
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Speaker 1: which is why maybe I fell into the second friendship

285
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Speaker 1: thinking this person was my best friend, but like wasn't

286
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Speaker 1: really a person that was there for me, right because

287
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 1: like deep down it was safe, right, like maybe I

288
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 1: wasn't going to get hurt, but I ended up getting hurt.

289
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Speaker 1: And then the mind fuck was why did I? Why

290
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,320
Speaker 1: did I go along for so long? Why did I?

291
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Speaker 1: And honestly, when I look back, I probably avoided getting

292
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Speaker 1: close to anyone new for the next like five years

293
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:07,719
Speaker 1: after that day Actice friendships film, like because I was

294
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:13,239
Speaker 1: so afraid of getting so hurt again that I'm just

295
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 1: talking to me? Is this me talking to me? That's

296
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 1: how I feel, That's real, I feel. Yeah, Like after

297
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:21,880
Speaker 1: I lost those I mean we talked her a little

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Speaker 1: bit on the podlat like I also had two very

299
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 1: good friends that like I felt really betrayed by, and

300
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,640
Speaker 1: like I just had my wedding anniversary, and I think

301
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,760
Speaker 1: I part of what made me I was like thinking

302
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Speaker 1: about our wedding and thinking about our you know, anniversary,

303
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,720
Speaker 1: and I just kept thinking of those two friends because

304
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 1: like they were part of the wedding and I don't

305
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,720
Speaker 1: talk to them anymore.

306
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Speaker 3: You know.

307
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Speaker 1: It's like it made me really sad. But like I'm

308
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,000
Speaker 1: very very like stand offish when it comes to friendships

309
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 1: because I'm nervous about getting fucked, like getting my heart

310
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Speaker 1: like ripped out of my gut. Same. I think it's

311
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,840
Speaker 1: only been the last few years that I have sort

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00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 1: of had a moment where I'm like, well, I love

313
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Speaker 1: having friends. I've always loved having friends, like I love

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Speaker 1: having a group of friends I love like I know

315
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Speaker 1: that I need people, like I know that I'm like

316
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 1: a like a village type of person I think most

317
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:23,919
Speaker 1: people are, and and like kind of yeah, having a

318
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,080
Speaker 1: moment in the last few years of like it's time

319
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:29,239
Speaker 1: for me to like open up to more people and

320
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,040
Speaker 1: invest more time and energy into the people I really

321
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,040
Speaker 1: love and care about and make time for them, and

322
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 1: like figure out a way how to like really fold

323
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,240
Speaker 1: this into my life and not be so scared if

324
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 1: you know, I get hurt again. Yeah, well how do

325
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 1: you fet? It's hard? Like, how do you get over?

326
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 1: How do you start to get over the breakup or

327
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 1: how do you get over the like you know what

328
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:58,640
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, I think it's important to like anything

329
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: kind of you have to feel all the hard fucking feelings, right,

330
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 1: It's like you have to. I feel like whenever I'm

331
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 1: moving through something really hard, whether it's heartbreak or grief,

332
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: is a big one too, where I have to check

333
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,360
Speaker 1: in with myself of like how much of avoiding am

334
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 1: I doing a thing? Because I do? I do? We

335
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 1: all do ten because it's uncomfortable, right, Like that's the

336
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 1: go to, Like that is I'm just gonna keep myself

337
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,160
Speaker 1: and I do. I'm so good at it. I'm so

338
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: good at keeping my keep miss Elsy. I'm distracted and

339
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna like do the things that are fun

340
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,919
Speaker 1: and like see the fun people and like you know.

341
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 1: But then eventually, like that shit catches up with you,

342
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 1: Like eventually your body or your brain or your sleep

343
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 1: starts telling you like you have to deal with this,

344
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 1: you know, and it shows up in different ways I

345
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: think for everyone. Then I just try I try to

346
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,439
Speaker 1: like remind me I felt that I eventually have to

347
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,040
Speaker 1: move through this. Yeah, And there's something about like move

348
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:10,160
Speaker 1: the forward movement, like visualizing just like moving through the muck,

349
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 1: moving through the the thing, you know, and whether it's

350
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: crying or whether it's going to therapy or talking to

351
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 1: friends about it, you know, I think be careful with

352
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,199
Speaker 1: that because I definitely have been that person that is like,

353
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: had a friend be like, I love you, but we

354
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 1: we need to move forward, and we have talked about

355
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: this a lot, so you don't want to like abuse

356
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 1: your friendships. I am sometimes the friend that is like,

357
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about this anymore.

358
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

359
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh I've done that too. Yeah, I love you,

360
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 1: but like you gotta, you gotta gotta, I gotta figure

361
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: something out. I do think, like, like in terms of

362
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: practical practical advice, like, yeah, one of the things I

363
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 1: did after a big breakup when I was in my

364
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: thirties and this was somebody that I thought I was

365
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: gonna be with for pretty much forever, I was like, Okay,

366
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: this is the person, right like, and we lived together

367
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: and you know, like you do live and son and

368
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: I moved out. And when I moved out, I saved

369
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: a lot of things from the relationship. And it wasn't

370
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: until like the next year. I think at Christmas time

371
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,919
Speaker 1: that I was going through you know, Christmas boxes or

372
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,719
Speaker 1: like a stuff like storagey stuff, and I was like,

373
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 1: why am I holding onto these? Why am I holding

374
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 1: onto this personalized you know? It was the Christmas ornament

375
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: that started. I was like, why am I holding onto

376
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 1: this Christmas ornament with this picture of me and this person?

377
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 1: We are broken up, You're not together anymore. I have

378
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,360
Speaker 1: to get rid of this And it was really hard.

379
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if I even did it that year,

380
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: but I ended up all of the ornaments. Ornaments are

381
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 1: really important to me, Christmas is really important to me. Yeah,

382
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: put them all in a box and I threw them

383
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: away and I threw with the love letters. Yeah, I

384
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: threw away the love notes. I threw away the birthday cards,

385
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: and like, I know, some people will keep those things

386
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 1: because it's like a moment in time, but like for me,

387
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 1: it was like, I'm not with this person anymore. My

388
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 1: heart was broken when this didn't work out. Why am

389
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: I holding on to the stuff that makes me feel

390
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: so sad when I look at it. It's not like

391
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: I look at this stuff and think that was a

392
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 1: romantic poem. It's like, I know, I think about this,

393
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: and I go like this person, you know, fucked me up,

394
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: Like why look, why am I holding onto the shit?

395
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, like a cliche as it can be.

396
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 1: I think even like you know, putting a little pot

397
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: of fire and burn or like a fire planting, like

398
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 1: burning some things and like letting go and releasing kind

399
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 1: of being really helpful and therapeutic totally. I also think

400
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 1: like taking this is something that I used to do

401
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: more in New York because you didn't have to drive,

402
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 1: you could just get on public transit. But I would

403
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: go and do things like I would go see a

404
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: movie by myself or go This is also because I

405
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: was young and not a mom and single or whatever,

406
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: but like I would go to like the art museum

407
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: or go to an exhibit or go to like you know,

408
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: go to somewhere and experience something by myself and have

409
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: like a good cleansing, artistic feeling. Cry about it because

410
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: for me, I'm not a person who can hang out

411
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: in my apartment and cry like I don't. Okay, So

412
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: this is a big heartbreak moment. But when my dog

413
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 1: Banjo died, I was very very connected to Banjo. He

414
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:48,159
Speaker 1: was like my familiar and when he died. I Oh

415
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: my god, I hope, I'm cry. I went around the

416
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: apartment and collected all of his stuff, like everything that

417
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: was his, like his toys, his little blankets, his dog food,

418
00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 1: is treats, and I just sobbed the whole time. And

419
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 1: then I kept saying out loud, you were such a

420
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 1: good boy. You were such a good boy, and like

421
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,719
Speaker 1: it was such a hard thing to do. Yeah, it

422
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: was so cleansing, though, and it was so healing for

423
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 1: me because I knew he's he like his spirit was

424
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: still in the house. Like, but I also had to

425
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: give myself the activity of like I have to I

426
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: have to clean his stuff up. I have to let

427
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: go because like if I look over in a week

428
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: and I still see all his things, it will devastate me.

429
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: So like I had to put them in a box,

430
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: and then the next week I had to take the

431
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 1: box to a friend and like give her she had

432
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: like she was rescuing animals, so like I gave her

433
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: all the stuff. And like I think the physical activity

434
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: sometimes is like really healing to like you know, finish

435
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: with that part of your life. Like at breakups are

436
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: they are a break and you have to break you

437
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 1: have to let yourself break and then heal, because like

438
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: if you keep holding on, you're never going to like

439
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 1: the break is never going to be clean, you know. Yeah,

440
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: and you have to find a way. I like what

441
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 1: you were saying about, like sometimes it can be like

442
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: a physical action to help you feel like you're moving

443
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: forward and you're moving through the thing. You know. I

444
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 1: know my friend who's going through the breakup is going

445
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 1: to like redecorate parts of their house, you know, things

446
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 1: that their partner chose. They're going to change. And I

447
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 1: told them, I said, you should rearrange the furniture, you know,

448
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 1: and find out figure out a new layout for things,

449
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 1: and like maybe even switch your bedroom to a different room,

450
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: like you know, like big physical changes. And then I said,

451
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: and then if you can swing it, you should go

452
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 1: on a trip, whether by yourself or with friends, like

453
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: whichever you think you need, but just like have a

454
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: little get away to just kind of like whatever. Maybe

455
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 1: it's morn maybe it's party, maybe you know, like something

456
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 1: something for you that's not about to like not about them,

457
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: and just like come back from that trip and be

458
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 1: like this is the start of the new chapter. You know.

459
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: I think it's important to do these little markers or

460
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: rituals right, like you just feel like we're we're moving

461
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: through the thing a little bit. But it's and the

462
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 1: budget version of that is like, Okay, so maybe you

463
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: can't like afford to go stay in a hotel overnight,

464
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: but you probably have some friends that will let you

465
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: like crash in their house and like yeah, a movie

466
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 1: night and like stay away from your house one night

467
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: and like have a moment that's not that's not in

468
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 1: that space, you know, Like especially if you shared a

469
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: space or share to like you know, maybe you can't

470
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: redecorate your whole apartment, but like I bet you could

471
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: get a new comforter from like TJ Max or something

472
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 1: like yeah that you could get like a new set

473
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: of sheets, like something a room pain, a roam you

474
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: can't tell her, get a new laundry detergent and like

475
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 1: wash your sheets in a different scent and like start fresh.

476
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: Like there's so many little things like that that can

477
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 1: help you like make a space feel new practically and physically.

478
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: I mean, like all these things are like little magical

479
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: things that you can bring into your space that like

480
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: are hard because we are so connected, especially like if

481
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 1: you live with people. Yeah, more isis our producer send

482
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: us this thing that like was in our nerd time

483
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: part of this pod, which was like, my god, we're

484
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: so InSync because I literally just was pulling it up as.

485
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 3: You said that.

486
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: So one of the things that she sent us was

487
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: this interview with the author of this book called Heartbreak,

488
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: A Personal and Scientific Journey by Florence Williams, and it

489
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,360
Speaker 1: investigates the ways in which like extreme emotional pain can

490
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: impact your heart, your digestive and immune systems. So like

491
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 1: when people are like I'm heartsick, like it's actually real,

492
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: Like it's a real thing. And when you are with

493
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: other people, like if you're with a partner for a

494
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: long time or even if you just see them all

495
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 1: the time, your bodies can really like co regulate when

496
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: you're with someone all the time, like intimately, Like so

497
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 1: like if you're in post proxiety at them, Yes, your

498
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: heartbeats actually regulate. When you're asleep, your cortisol levels line

499
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: up your morning and evening cortisol levels, your respiration rates

500
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: sometimes aligne. There are lots of studies showing that when

501
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: you put a couple in a brain scammer scanner, scammer.

502
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: Love is a brain scam, by the way, and then

503
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: you give them a test, their brain waves sync up

504
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: in the same way what happens physiologically when a partner leaves.

505
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: Your brain and body really notice it on a subconscious level.

506
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: I just thought that was really interesting because I will say,

507
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: like after we finished shooting Brooklyn, Yeah, we had all

508
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 1: been together at that point for seven and a half years,

509
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: almost eight years, and the month after and I was

510
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: very pregnant, so like might have been part of that too,

511
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 1: But like I was fucked up, Like I was fucked up,

512
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I was having

513
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: like a very hard time after we finished, Like, yeah,

514
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: I had a hard time. I was really heartbroken because

515
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: I knew I just wasn't gonna see you guys the

516
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: same way every single day, you know, and like it

517
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: was it fucked me up. And like no, it fucked

518
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: me up too. It's like it's kind of nice knowing that,

519
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 1: Like science is like, yeah, of course it fucked you up.

520
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,239
Speaker 1: Like you're not You're not like a little baby. They

521
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: can't handle it, Like you're You're a human being that

522
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 1: gets fucked up. When the people that you were around

523
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: for that much time. Aren't in your life every day anymore?

524
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: I mean all the female cycles even SYNCD up like

525
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: during the course of that show. Yeah, someone was trying

526
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: to tell me the other day like, oh, that's been

527
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 1: like debunked or whatever. I was like, l O L.

528
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: I looked around the set and I was like, I

529
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 1: can count like four women right now that are all

530
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: in the same period cycle, Like how dare you tell

531
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: me that debunked. I'll debunk you with my fucking toe

532
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: bagful you know. Yeah, sleepings right now. Yeah, that that

533
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: was a total heartbreak phase after Brooklyn ended, of just yeah,

534
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: I would wake up so sad for so slave can't eat.

535
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: You know, it's hard. It's really hard, and it's like

536
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: still hard. It's still hard. It's still hard. It's been

537
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: many years and it's still hard. Yeah. I just was

538
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: at a wedding this weekend, Be's wedding.

539
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

540
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: It was so great. I know, I know you were missed,

541
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 1: but it was really sweet. It was beautiful and who

542
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: was there? Was everybody there. It was a good chunk

543
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: of us. It was. It was to and Rick and

544
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: Dan and Dirk and Joel and me. Yeah, and Phil

545
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 1: Augusta Jackson. So it was it was a mix of

546
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: like crew and you know the people she was. She

547
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: was the closest with in the real Matt Mandela isn't

548
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: Matt of course Matt. God for those of you don't know,

549
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: I went to a wedding and Beatrice this wonderful, beautiful,

550
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: kind giving person. We love you, b uh. She worked

551
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: in the production office, so she was sort of not

552
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: always on set behind the scenes, so you know her

553
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: interaction for brain and she's a super brain and a

554
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 1: superperson and like super generous and giving anyway. But yeah,

555
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: just sitting at that table with like Matt and Tony

556
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 1: and everybody, it was just like, you know, we joked,

557
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: we're like, guys, let's make another show. Let's listen. And

558
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: I think it was it was Tony. It was either

559
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: Tony or Matt that just went, Oh God, wouldn't that

560
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: be great? Like, you know, it's not just us, like,

561
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: it's it's every like it was such a special thing

562
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: for so long and how close we truly all got.

563
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: That was a really big one that was hard to

564
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 1: get over. Yeah it's fine, I mean it's it's and

565
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: there's no like talking yourself out like, oh well maybe

566
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 1: maybe someday we will know. Like the reality with the

567
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: fact is is like that was a time that will

568
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 1: never happen again. We will never be together for that

569
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: many hours ever again. Yeah, and that fucking sucks, and

570
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: it's heartbreakings. It sucks. But like that's also like the

571
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: tough the tough love part of heartbreak is like, yeah,

572
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 1: you do have to be a little tough with yourself

573
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 1: sometimes you have to be like you're gonna get through this,

574
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: like you're gonna be okay, Oh, you'll always be a

575
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: little bit sad about this, and that's what. That's fine.

576
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,719
Speaker 1: That's fine, Okay, a little bit sad about it, you know, Like,

577
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: and there's also gonna be I mean, there's also gonna

578
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: be other heartbreaks that you have in your life, Like

579
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: this won't be the last one, you know, like this

580
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: won't be the this. It just it won't be that way.

581
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I don't even know. I don't know if

582
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: that's like good or bad necessarily, but it's human, you know,

583
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: it's human. Human. It's just hard, hard experience. Yes, it's

584
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,520
Speaker 1: the give and take for how wonderful and full of

585
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 1: joy and amazing life is. I literally was just saying

586
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: that to my son Enzo this morning because a boy

587
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: on his soccer team is moving away and he was

588
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: sort of sad about it, and and this just sort

589
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: of flew out of my mouth, and I was like, oh,

590
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: I hope that wasn't too harsh, Like I you know,

591
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: you like, deal with it, bitch. No, listen, get your

592
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: shoes on. We got to go to school and just

593
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: deal with it, all right. Uh no, I validate, And

594
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, that's really, you know, tough up.

595
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 1: But then I was like, but babe, like I hate say,

596
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 1: It's just part of life. It's part of growing up.

597
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: You're gonna have other friends that move. You're gonna have

598
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: other friends that go to a different school, you know,

599
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: when you graduate high school and you I'll go off

600
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: to different I remember sobbing on my high school graduation

601
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,840
Speaker 1: because it was that same sort of feeling I had

602
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: at Brooklyn where I was like, I'm not going to

603
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: see you anymore. So funny I was learning peace, yeah,

604
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: I was like, but definitely was that, Like, yeah, no,

605
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 1: there was a little bit of that because I was

606
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 1: excited about what was coming. But I sobbed that day

607
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: because there were and there were certain friends that like,

608
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 1: deep down I knew, I was like, we're probably barely

609
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 1: going to be friends anymore. And I really like you,

610
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: but I just know that you're going to lives are

611
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: going in different dior lives are going in different directions,

612
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to see you and we're not

613
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: so so close that you know, And it's sad, but

614
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: it is. It is, you know. There you have to

615
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: find a way to make peace with these shitty parts

616
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: of life that are just going to happen. Otherwise you

617
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: stop living. Otherwise your life stops being less less. You know,

618
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,239
Speaker 1: you don't live your life fully, you don't ye your

619
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:05,360
Speaker 1: life maybe in your ability, your best potential. You deserve

620
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: a big life that's full. Yeah, Like everyone decide and

621
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 1: deserves the biggest life everything. You know. It's like five

622
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: years feels like a lot, but it's really not that

623
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: much time. Like ten years isn't that much, twenty years

624
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: isn't that much. Like there's still more life to be had,

625
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: there's still more things to see and experience and laugh

626
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: about and have joy about, and there's still so many

627
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: sunsets and sunrises and like there's still so much like

628
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: beyond that thing. Obviously you're mourning that thing, and it's hard,

629
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: but like, there's so much life to be had, and

630
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: you deserve to let yourself have it. You know, you

631
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: deserve it. Yeah, you deserve it. If you can't say

632
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 1: that to yourself, we'll say it to you right now.

633
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 1: You deserve it. You do deserve it, bitch. Get back

634
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: out there, rearrange some furniture, call your friends, get a

635
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 1: new comforter. More better. I feel more better?

636
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 2: Do you?

637
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 1: I feel like very good?

638
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: I do.

639
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 1: I think with that in pretty healthy ways. Yeah. It's

640
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: hard to talk about, it's hard to think about, but

641
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: it's also good to I think think about these things

642
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 1: once in a while too. You know, it's sort of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: look how far I've come. You know, all the great

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00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 1: things that have happened despite these like heartbreaks, heartbreaks? Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: If trumps In sleep with that girl on a freshman orientation, yes,

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00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: what would have happened? You know what I mean? I

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Speaker 1: don't know what would have happened. It certainly wouldn't you know.

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00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: I certainly wouldn't know raws. She wouldn't Yes, she wouldn't

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00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: exist maybe, And she's like the coolest person ever. That's

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00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 1: my kid. If you don't, if you haven't listened to

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00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 1: the podcast, but you know, you just never know where

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00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: life's going to take you. Yeah, yeah, And most of

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00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,320
Speaker 1: the time a breakup is in the long run. Yeah,

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00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 1: congrats supposed to happen, So congratulations, believe it at that. Congrats,

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00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: Ma Man, Congrats movie. We'll see you. We'll see you

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00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: next time. Bye, guys, Bye, More Better. Do you have

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00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 1: something you'd like to be more better at that you

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00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,879
Speaker 1: want us to talk about in a future episode? Can

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00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: you relate to our struggles or have you tried one

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00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:23,280
Speaker 1: of our tips and tricks?

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00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 3: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

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00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

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00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 3: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

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00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 3: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and

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00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 3: iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Viatriz, and

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00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: Melissa Fumira.

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00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and

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00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: Sophie Spencer Zabos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama and

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00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 1: Leo Clem at Wvsound. This episode was edited by Isis

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00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,800
Speaker 1: Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original music

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00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: by Madison Davenport and Hey Loo Boy. Our cover art

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00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: is by Vincent Remis and photography by David For more

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00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you next week,

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00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 1: Saga Bye,