1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,239 Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in 2 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who grew into hymnals 7 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored ALCHEMYO chariots to keep 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: opal brown courts, bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, 12 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant. This 13 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: is And the ancestors told me that you would come 14 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,639 Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come Dropping 15 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: drop Hey, st w. Brown, you are locted to the 16 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: Dropping Gym's podcast today on the show, I have Vanessa 17 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,759 Speaker 1: Anderson now. Vanessa is the owner and senior account executive 18 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,919 Speaker 1: at a MPR Group. AMPR Group is a boutique public 19 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: relations firm that specializes in entertainment, digital and lifestyle industries. 20 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: She has previously done publicity for shows like TMZ, The Real, 21 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: The Preachers, and Black Lightning, and her current client roster 22 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,400 Speaker 1: includes some of your favorite people like the phenomenal Terrae, 23 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: Marcia Martin, Cassie Molina Masukis, and the initiative Destination Crenshaw Vanessas, 24 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: also the woman behind My Baby Shower. She is one 25 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: of my best friends in the whole wide world. One 26 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: time for the best friends. That's the best acomplishment on 27 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: the list. She is one of the most um just 28 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: spectacular women that I'm really really blessed to know. And 29 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: I'll get into all of the wise as we go 30 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: throughout this episode, so clearly I'll be crying the whole episode. 31 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,839 Speaker 1: It's what you're telling me me your tears. I want 32 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: them all. You are joining me today on this show, 33 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: and I was really excited that you said yes, not 34 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: because you know, I thought you would say no, but 35 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: you are also a very very private person, and you 36 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: are somebody for reasons I do not understand, like to 37 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 1: shy away from attention versus there's a lot of people 38 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: on the gram right that post which is totally their prerogative. 39 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: You know, they post every detail about what they do professionally, 40 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: and that serves a lot of people who get to 41 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: see that and hopefully embody some of those traits. On 42 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: the flip side of that, because you influence so many 43 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: people behind the scenes, and you know, you choose to 44 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: be a little bit more private, so help them to 45 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: squeeze some stuff out of today. Yeah, I mean, I 46 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: feel that my job is to make other people famous. 47 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,519 Speaker 1: It's not for me to be famous, and I think 48 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: that the best way that I can be most effective 49 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: in doing my job is to really be behind the scenes. 50 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: On the flip side, I do realize that I occupy 51 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: a really specific special place and it's important that I 52 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: make myself available, um, whether it's you know, through one 53 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: on one conversations or through something like this for people 54 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: to hear my story, or perhaps I can give someone 55 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: a piece of advice, or someone who maybe is thinking 56 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: about getting into public relations but doesn't really have an 57 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: understanding of it, or whatever the case, or just entertainment 58 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: in general, maybe I can spark something for them, um, 59 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: especially for a woman or a person of color um 60 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: to get into the business. So I don't feel like 61 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: a thousand percent comfortable doing stuff like this, but I 62 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: understand the need for it. Yes, yes, And I'm really 63 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 1: glad that you do now because I think you know, 64 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: yours is a story personally and professionally that I think 65 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: is really really powerful and we'll really connect with so 66 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: many people. And I also think that, um, I mean, 67 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: you're rock star, so I just want you. I am 68 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: that a rock star. I am a regular girl from 69 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: Crnshawn King, just out here trying to be great. But 70 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: let's lean into that a little bit, UM, if you 71 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: would give our listeners a little bit of background, share 72 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: some of your story. So let's see. I am born 73 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: and raised in Los Angeles, uh Grip with my grandparents. UM. 74 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 1: I was living with both of my my mom and 75 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: my dad up until I was five. UM, and from 76 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,160 Speaker 1: five and on was with my grandparents. Went to Catholic school, 77 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: went to a little Catholic school called Transfiguration, grew up 78 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: in South l A. UM got bussed to Archer, the 79 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: Archer School for Girls in Brentwood for high school. My 80 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: grandmother I think identified really early on. I was a 81 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,039 Speaker 1: pretty good student, you know, in elementary school and middle school. 82 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: But I think my grandmother really identified that maybe I 83 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: was a little bit different and she wanted to be 84 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: sure that I had all the resources at my disposal 85 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: to really bloom into whoever I was supposed to be. 86 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 1: And then after that, UM went to New York, went 87 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: to Columbia for undergrad Well came back. What was that 88 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: experience like kind of you know, walking the line between 89 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: these two worlds. You go from growing up in South 90 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 1: l A. Which we now call that call it that affectionately, 91 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: but formerly known as South Central, and then going to 92 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: an area like Brentwood, which I'm presuming you know had 93 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: a high attendance rate of probably Caucasian. Absolutely, yeah, I 94 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: mean it was interesting, right because I had gone to 95 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: school down the street from my house. For most of 96 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: my life, UM had always been with brown and black kids, 97 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: mainly black kid. Um, all of my all of my 98 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: friends were black. You know, maybe I had one or 99 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: two even Latino friends, but all of my friends were black. 100 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: I self identified as black, even though my mom is 101 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: from Al Salvador. You know, I considered myself to just 102 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: be a black girl. And it was jarring, you know. Um, 103 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: even the process of getting to school was weird and 104 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: different for me because you know, my grandparents would drop 105 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: me off and be there early to pick me up 106 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 1: from school. I never had to wait, I didn't have 107 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: a commute. Um, all the sexual free time, not spending 108 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: traffic right well yeah, because like coming from Brentwood in 109 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: the afternoon was like an hour and a half two 110 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: hours sometimes just to get to my bus stop, um, 111 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: and then you know, driving another ten or fifteen to 112 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 1: get home. So even that experience was new for me. 113 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: But as it pertains to the kids and the students, 114 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: I think what really helped was that, Um, I was 115 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: really smart, and I knew that, if nothing else, that 116 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: was always going to set me apart, no matter what 117 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 1: the setting was like, no matter who was in the classroom, 118 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: I was always going to be one of these smarter people. 119 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: So I knew that that was just sort of the 120 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: position that I had. UM. I do think that being 121 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: at Archer, though, was really eye opening for me. I 122 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: think that it allowed me to see that people are 123 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: that white people live life very differently from us, and 124 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: that people with like generational wealth or just you know, 125 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: real real, real wealth, um, they live a different life 126 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: than I did. And I did like this air of 127 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: care freeness, oh absolutely is not typically experienced in our community. Yeah, 128 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: there's a there's a sense of anything as possible, right, 129 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: and they never second guess themselves, at least not publicly. Um, 130 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 1: you know, there's never a fear. That's what they lack 131 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: is fear. Fear, you know, because if you didn't have 132 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: to think about money, you would try so many different things. 133 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: You would want to explore different parts of yourself if 134 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: you didn't have fear. So from there you also went 135 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: to an Ivy League college who went to Barnard in 136 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: New York, and that being this little l A girl, 137 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: super l A girl, super. I didn't realize how l 138 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: A I was until I left l A. Really that's 139 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: how I felt when I moved to Oh my god, 140 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: and I realized that I talked a little different, and 141 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: I was like, oh yeah. So the summer before my 142 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: senior year, I did a college program at Barnard. I 143 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: knew I wanted to go to New York. I definitely 144 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,960 Speaker 1: knew I wanted to go East Coast for college. So 145 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: I found this program that Barnard had. It was called 146 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: the PCP program, which is the pre college program. It's 147 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: I think it's like maybe two weeks or three weeks. 148 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: I can't remember the length of it, but you like 149 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: move in, you live in the dorm, like, you know, 150 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: you got to like the cafeteria. You like, you truly 151 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: kind of immerse yourself in like a college experience. You 152 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: take college level classes with professors. Yeah, so I did that, 153 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I love New York, 154 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: I love Barnard, I love all things here. I need 155 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: to figure out, like I gotta come back. So I 156 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: came back to you know, came back home to my 157 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: senior year. I actually had done early decision for you pen, 158 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,839 Speaker 1: so I was going to go there um. And then 159 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: my grandmother died unexpectedly January UM two thousand three and 160 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: in the middle of literally in the middle of senior year. 161 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: And when she passed away, I realized that maybe I 162 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: didn't have the kind of time that I thought I did. 163 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: You know, her health didn't have the kind of time 164 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: you thought you had. Well. I just felt like anything 165 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: could happen, right, and if there are things that you 166 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 1: want to do, you should just do them, because I 167 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: anything could happen, Like, maybe I don't have I'm not 168 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,439 Speaker 1: in control of the time I have on the earth. 169 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 1: So if that's the case, even though it came through pain. 170 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: What a incredible lesson to get at such a young age. Yeah, 171 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: because it was so unexpected. We weren't you know, like 172 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: at that point, we were like figuring out like prom 173 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: dates and we were planning like graduation stuff. So I 174 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 1: never had I never saw I never really saw my 175 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,640 Speaker 1: life without my grandmother. But I definitely never imagined that 176 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,839 Speaker 1: I wouldn't finish high school, or that I would finish 177 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: high school and she wouldn't be there. So I was like, 178 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,679 Speaker 1: I really want to go to New York and I 179 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: really want to go to Barnard. And even though I 180 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: was already early decision for for you Pen, I applied anyway, 181 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: and I said, you know, I said, if I get in, 182 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go like and I'll just figure it out. 183 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: And I got in and you Pen had given me 184 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: a really great financial hate packet and Barnard was like, 185 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: not as great. So I was like, so look, Bernard, um, 186 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: I want to come, but I'm gonna need you to 187 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: run me that money. And they did wow, And I 188 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 1: was like, Okay, there's something else that play here. So 189 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: I was like, let me go. And it was one 190 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: of the greatest decisions. No, it's probably the greatest decision 191 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: I've ever made. We did a really beautiful interview recently 192 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 1: with the website Living civil dot com and they did 193 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: a profile on you and kind of your rise like 194 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: for women Women's Month. Yes, yeah, what is the full 195 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: name of that International Women's History Months? Sorry? And uh, 196 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,079 Speaker 1: you know I loved they dived into a lot of 197 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,319 Speaker 1: the early parts of your career, some of the stresses 198 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 1: that happened after college and in that sweet space of 199 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: finding out, you know, what do I want to do? 200 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: And another great lesson from you in proactiveness, I feel 201 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: like an encourageousness. In this article, you shared that you know, 202 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: you had taken a couple of smaller level jobs because 203 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: you were trying to figure it out. And it was 204 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: during the recession. You couldn't you know, you weren't finding 205 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: yourself easily hired, even coming from the Ivy League university. 206 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 1: And something I loved is that you who contacted the 207 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: aunt of someone you went to high school with who 208 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: worked in the entertainment business, and you just called him 209 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 1: up and he said, hey, I need some advice on 210 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: what to do with my life. And they helped you 211 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,319 Speaker 1: kind of walk through what career path you could fall 212 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,319 Speaker 1: in love with how to kind of get it going, 213 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: and that's when you discovered publicity, that that was the 214 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: calling for you. And I was like, there has to 215 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 1: be some kind of career out there that involves me 216 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: helping people, but it's with music and TV. And I 217 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: was like, well, do I know anybody that works in 218 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 1: music and TV? And I was like, oh, Nina Shaw 219 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: aunt Nina, And I was like, let me just send her. 220 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,040 Speaker 1: Let me just email her real quick and just see 221 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: what happens. She busy, she may not even respond, or 222 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: she may send me to someone else, and maybe that 223 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: person can help me and inspire me. And we had 224 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: a conversation. She was like, you know, she kind of 225 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: thought about it for a second, and she was like, 226 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: I think you'd be really great as a publicist. And 227 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 1: I was like, what is a publicist? What does that do? 228 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: Do they do? How does that work? And she really 229 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: was like, read these books, talk to these people, call 230 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: me back, and then like, hunga, I love that. Read 231 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: the books because I was very like what is this 232 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,719 Speaker 1: Like how does she identify what she thought was the 233 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: perfect career for me so quickly? Right? And I was like, okay, 234 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: so I read the books talk to the people. Caught 235 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 1: her back probably like within the week, and I was like, 236 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, this is it. This is literally 237 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 1: the perfect job for me. And she was gracious enough 238 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:37,439 Speaker 1: to help me find like an internship, which then became 239 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 1: like an assistant position, and that was really the beginnings 240 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, I want to dive in for a 241 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,199 Speaker 1: second and talk about how we know each other. Oh 242 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: so Vanessa and I originally met in a summer school 243 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 1: program when we were ninth going to into the ninth grade. Yeah, yeah, 244 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,200 Speaker 1: I think I had just turned fourteen maybe, And it 245 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 1: was Loyola. Loyola High School in l A. It's all 246 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 1: boys school, which listens. That provided as a very interesting 247 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: summer for me. UM. So it's all boys high school, 248 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: but in um in the summertime it would be co ed, 249 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: and so a lot of the girls schools UM in 250 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: the area would go there for summer. I was not 251 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: in the area. I actually at that time my mom 252 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: had moved us. You know, I've lived everywhere that Los 253 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: Angeles has to offer. Literally, I have a photo of us. Oh, 254 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 1: never show it anywhere. That better never be a throwback Thursday. 255 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: First of all, you looked cute. I looked like what. 256 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: I was like, why will they let me out? That's 257 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: like the first summer that I found my cute, right, 258 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,160 Speaker 1: my cute had not been discovered at all. That's the 259 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: first summer that I kind of start leaning towards being cute. 260 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: Before that, I had been a very awkward hot mess 261 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: um every year prior of that. You looked cute. I 262 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 1: can I'm envisioning this one photo and you looked cute. 263 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: You had like a white shirt on, like, you looked cute. 264 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: You you were cute. We didn't cross paths after that. 265 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: And then I remember Twitter had just started, so this 266 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: is also a very long time ago. It was what 267 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: probably oh seven is maybe yeah, yeah, so Twitter had 268 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: just started by that time. I'm working in radio. I'm 269 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: working at KID in l A. I had just i 270 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: think signed up for Twitter, and I was a tweeting 271 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: And back then Twitter was really different. They were like 272 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: five people on Twitter. Five people on Twitter, and most 273 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: of the people were in the industry. It was not 274 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: really you know, the everyday person was typically on Twitter. 275 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: It was really a space of primarily creatives and just 276 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: l A and New York industry people and that's it. 277 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: And you could like tweet people or like send the 278 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 1: messages no matter, even celebrities super and they would like 279 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: respond and you knew it was them. It wasn't like 280 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: someone managing their team or yeah. I used to get 281 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: actually so many celebrities to sign up for Twitter because 282 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: they'd come to the station and never have heard of it, 283 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: And then I would help them like start their accounts. 284 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you a check account? Like? Where 285 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: are you a check? So I remember I'm on Twitter 286 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: tweeting and I get this tweet from you and it 287 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:36,120 Speaker 1: was like, is this Devin from Loyola Summer School? I 288 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,840 Speaker 1: was like what? And so, yeah, long story short, that's 289 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: how we are reconnected. This is now what maybe fifteen 290 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: years ago Jesus Christ, and then we've been you remember, 291 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 1: I feel like we must have connect. We connected on 292 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: there and then shortly thereafter went to a Roma Cafe 293 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: on since it and I feel like that's when I 294 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: told you that this is what I was. I was 295 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: getting into publicity. And I don't know if you remember this, 296 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: but I actually asked you. I was like, can I 297 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 1: be your plus one? Two things? I don't know if 298 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: you remember that. I really it was a very a 299 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: pivotal moment for me because I didn't really have a 300 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: connection because at the time I was doing UM. My 301 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: first job in publicity was for like an echo friendly 302 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 1: green initiative focused company, and while that was important, I 303 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 1: wasn't passionate about it. I really wanted to do music. 304 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: But I left that company and ended up going into 305 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: fashion PR again was fine. I was learning a lot 306 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 1: of stuff because a lot of those skills are transferable 307 00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: no matter what the field is UM, but again wasn't 308 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: passionate about it. I really wanted to do music because 309 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: I love music, UM, and you were the only person 310 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: that I knew that was in the music business. So 311 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 1: I was like, maybe she'll let me just roll with 312 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 1: her to places, and you did. I don't know if 313 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: you really it's so long ago. Well, I definitely remember 314 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: that when we connected. We started rolling every rolling yeah, 315 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: and at that time especially oh my god, every night 316 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: of the week something like yeah, you were always out 317 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 1: and I remember just being like, can I be your 318 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: plus one? And you were like, yeah, girl, of course. 319 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 1: But it was so important because I met so many 320 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 1: people through that experience, like either you knew them and 321 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: we're like, oh, this is my girl, Vanessa or like 322 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: you know at that point. At that time, I was 323 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: really big on networking and I had told myself, you know, 324 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: if I was going out to event that by the 325 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: end of the night, I needed twenty cards, and before 326 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: I would leave wherever I was, even if I was 327 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: sitting in the car, I would send an email to 328 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: everyone just because I would still be fresh on their mind. 329 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 1: I wanted to send the email. I literally used to 330 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 1: do that too when I when I got started, I 331 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 1: would collect all these cards and I had like a 332 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 1: little bag that I would put them all into, and 333 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: then the very next morning, the top of the morning, 334 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: I would wake up and I would email every single 335 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: person whose card I got out with the Hey, you 336 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: know great to me. I would love to collecorate in 337 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: the future, or you know, yeah, cut from the same 338 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: tell me tell me a little bit. I kind of 339 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 1: want to dive into this because I really love the 340 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: relationship that you have with Issa. Issa is one of 341 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: the biggest stars of our generation. She is absolutely she's 342 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 1: pretty special, hashtag goals for so many people all over 343 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 1: the world. Extremely hard working woman. You know I first 344 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,639 Speaker 1: heard of her, I want to say, in oh seven 345 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 1: because of you you know, you guys started working together. 346 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: I believe before she even started her YouTube show shortly Thereat. 347 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: I think she was like episode five, four or five 348 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,359 Speaker 1: of the first season of Acora Black Girl. And I 349 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: remember you telling me about her, like, Yo, there's this 350 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: girl Issa. She's fired, she's doing this and that crazy. 351 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: And I've been together a long time, really really yeah, 352 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,160 Speaker 1: And I love that not only have you guys continue 353 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 1: to work together and grow together, but you seem to 354 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: have a really really special bond as women and as friends, 355 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: and a really kind of kindred karmic relationship, like a 356 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 1: grade a deep understanding of who one another is as 357 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: a woman. So watching you guys, because I've been around 358 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:24,200 Speaker 1: both of you together, um sometimes and watching you guys 359 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,159 Speaker 1: kind of exist with one another, it's just there's a 360 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 1: specialness there. Yeah. I'm I'm confident that I will never 361 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: get another client like that, or that I'll never have 362 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,399 Speaker 1: that relationship with another client. UM. I think, not to 363 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 1: be like all like sappy or anything, but I think 364 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:51,680 Speaker 1: that Issa is kind of like a soul mate of mine. Yeah, 365 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:56,159 Speaker 1: I see that, Um. And also like we put in 366 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 1: a lot of years with each other, and we started together, 367 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: you know, we really came up in this business together. 368 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 1: I think that we've learned a lot with each other, 369 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 1: watching each other. Um. And I'm really really grateful to 370 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: have her as a client period. And then I'm doubly 371 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: grateful to have her as like a sounding board, someone 372 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: I convent to, someone I can go to for advice, UM, 373 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,919 Speaker 1: and someone who is truly truly invested in me and 374 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: my success and my company's success. She, you know, is 375 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,439 Speaker 1: really invested in the women that I work with that 376 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 1: I hire. Like she really cares UM in a way 377 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 1: where typically just other people, even friends, don't care, you know, 378 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 1: to that level. Um. Definitely, um surpasses what I think 379 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: most people would have for like a publicist talent relationship 380 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, I think we see each other 381 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: as kind of like I definitely, I'll say this, I 382 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 1: see her as an extension of like my right or 383 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 1: left hand. Yeah. And I don't typically make any major 384 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 1: like business decisions without running them by her. Yeah. We 385 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: really value each other's opinions, which is very hard to find. Yeah, 386 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 1: because we know that it comes from a place of love. 387 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 1: Though your situation is very special and very different, especially 388 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: because you guys, we're both growing your passions at the 389 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: same time together and both of you ended up being 390 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 1: able to take off in really big ways and expand. 391 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: But what are maybe some tips you can give for 392 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 1: anybody that has a like a working relationship with a friend, 393 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: because that is tough territory to navigate sometimes. Well, I think, 394 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 1: if I'm actually being completely honest, I think working with 395 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 1: friends is really, really, really difficult. The thing that's different 396 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: about me and Issa too is we were not friends first. 397 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:19,160 Speaker 1: We just had a regular working relationship, and over the 398 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:24,680 Speaker 1: years have become friends. And even then, there's still a boundary, 399 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 1: like there's still a line there. You know, I'm I'm 400 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: not her best friend. She has best friends, She's not 401 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: my best friend. I have best friends. Like, does she 402 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: know the all the inner workings of my life? No? 403 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 1: Do I probably know more about hers just by the 404 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 1: function of my job, Yes, But you know, there's there's 405 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 1: still things that we keep to ourselves, you know, that 406 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 1: are not a part of our relationship. But when you 407 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: have a friend that you're working with and you've already 408 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,920 Speaker 1: been friends and you're getting into a business relationship, you 409 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: I would say the biggest tip is that you guys 410 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,960 Speaker 1: have to maintain a boundary between this is our working 411 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 1: relationship and this is our personal relationship. You can't throw 412 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: personal ship in somebody's face and vice versa. That's not fair. 413 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: And if your talent or even if you're you know, 414 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,439 Speaker 1: I'll use my sort of career as an example. If 415 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 1: you're a publicist and you're representing a friend and they 416 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 1: come to you and say, hey, look, I didn't like 417 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,119 Speaker 1: the way that we did X, Y and Z, or 418 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: I really want us to think about this in a 419 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: different way. You need to be able to receive that 420 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: feedback and not be offended as a friend. And that's hard. 421 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 1: It's very difficult, you know. And if you're if you 422 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: and this is the thing, you know, certain friends you 423 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 1: can't work with, So don't force it. Just say you 424 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: know a girl, I'm not the best fit, but let 425 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: me find somebody for you. Right. But if you do 426 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: have a friend where you're like, I think that this 427 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,679 Speaker 1: is something that we could work on together, being really 428 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 1: clear upfront about maintaining boundary ease um, being open to 429 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: constructive criticism from each other and not being offended by 430 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 1: it and learning from it. I think that that's so key. 431 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: There are various points of your career. You have shared 432 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,960 Speaker 1: different times with me where people have wanted to buy 433 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: you out. What made you decide to bet on yourself 434 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: and keep your company yours when you've had big checks 435 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: dangled in front of you. So this happened a lot. 436 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 1: Last year. I probably got about seven offers from major 437 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 1: PR companies who wanted to buy my company out, and 438 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: some of them the offers were phenomenal, almost to the 439 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: point I was like, Um, I think you have me 440 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 1: confused extra zero to this. This is a lot um 441 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,400 Speaker 1: to the other side of it, where I was like, Um, 442 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: you must not know who I am, right, you got me, 443 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 1: you know so. But I'll say this, I if someone 444 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,280 Speaker 1: gave me a phenomenal offer that was just like life changing, 445 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: it would be something I would consider. Otherwise it's not 446 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: worth it to me. And the main reason why it's 447 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 1: not worth it is because when I go to the 448 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 1: walkthrough for the Golden Globe, when I go to the 449 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 1: publicists walkthrough for the Emmy's, I am oftentimes if there's 450 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: maybe a hundred and fifty two hundred publicists there, I'm 451 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: maybe one of two publicists there. And if I'm one 452 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: of two publicists there, um, I'm definitely the only one 453 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: that owns her own company, and I have to always 454 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,400 Speaker 1: remember that when I have these meetings with these big, 455 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 1: large companies who are like, hey, we want to, you know, 456 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: buy you out. We want you to come in house, 457 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,479 Speaker 1: and you know we want you to, you know, just 458 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: be an employee. I have to tell myself, why would 459 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 1: you do that? Like, you've spent all your money, all 460 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: your money, You've put in so much time, You've sacrificed 461 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 1: so much, You've you know, lost for friends, gain friends, 462 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 1: lost boyfriends, like you've given up, You've sacrificed so much 463 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 1: for this. Why then would you at your not even 464 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,560 Speaker 1: at my peak, Because I'm not at my peak. I'm 465 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: on my climb right, I'm climbing up. I'm ascending. Why 466 00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 1: would you now decide all right, let me go work 467 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,360 Speaker 1: over here. That's part of it. The other part is 468 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 1: I don't need to do it. I make fine money, 469 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: I have the life that I want. I'm able to 470 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,840 Speaker 1: do what I want when I want. And the main 471 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: reason why I started the company was because I often 472 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,239 Speaker 1: felt that I was the smartest, I was smarter than 473 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,160 Speaker 1: my boss's and I wanted to work with the clients 474 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,159 Speaker 1: that I wanted to work with. I didn't want to 475 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: be assigned, you know, someone that I didn't believe in. 476 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:49,640 Speaker 1: I didn't want to work with men who were misogynistic. 477 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: I didn't want to work with women who you know, 478 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: didn't care about other women of color or you know, 479 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: just other women. I just never wanted to be forced 480 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: to work with people who I wasn't passionate about. And 481 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: if I went in house, no matter what the company 482 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 1: was one, I would never be working for a black 483 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 1: woman because no agencies, large agencies are owned by black women, 484 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,000 Speaker 1: none of them. And I and I wasn't going. I 485 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,359 Speaker 1: didn't want to work for someone that didn't look like me, 486 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to be someone's puppet. And I 487 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,400 Speaker 1: didn't want to be the black girl that you pull 488 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: into the room to lock the client in. You weren't 489 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 1: going to use me in that way. UM. So, until 490 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,959 Speaker 1: there is another woman, another black woman, that owns a 491 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: major PR company who will allow me to work with 492 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,960 Speaker 1: the clients that I want to work work on, UM 493 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: and who will not use me as their token black woman. 494 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: Until that situation comes along, I think little AMPR group 495 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 1: will just be out here. We can have it. You 496 00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: threw you were behind the huge Emmy party that kind 497 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: of took over social media this past year after the Emmys. 498 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: It was like the Black Party. It was you saw 499 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:12,480 Speaker 1: all of a list everybody, but also not just a list, 500 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: because I don't want to make it sound over exclusive, 501 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: like it was just so many of the incredible black 502 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: creatives and faces and talents, both in front of the camera, 503 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 1: behind the scenes, different parts of the industry. But you 504 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 1: helped create this massive, massive party. Yeah about that experience, 505 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: so even how it came about, But what did it 506 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 1: feel like? Yeah, so I've been blessed enough to, you know, 507 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 1: have clients nominated or presenting at major award shows Emmy's, 508 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 1: Golden Globes, Oscars, Grammys, etcetera. And you go to these 509 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 1: events and afterwards, you know, you go to these big 510 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,959 Speaker 1: award shows and afterwards like Netflix has a party, who 511 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,800 Speaker 1: has a party, HBO, you know, Fox FX. However, everyone 512 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,640 Speaker 1: has the networks in the studios, all do parties, and 513 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: you go to the parties without a doubt. Every single 514 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 1: party there is what we call the Black corner, also 515 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: affectionately known as corner, right, and it's all the black 516 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: people have found each other and have congregated in this 517 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 1: one section. And what I've learned from that though, is 518 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: that two things. One, if you're not at the top 519 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,239 Speaker 1: of the call sheet, you don't get invited, even if 520 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: you're on the show. So say, if you're on the show, 521 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,239 Speaker 1: even if you're on the show, if you're not at 522 00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,760 Speaker 1: the top of the call sheet, they won't even extend 523 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,959 Speaker 1: and invite to you. For sure, if you are behind 524 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: the scenes, if you're a producer, um sometimes if you're 525 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 1: lower than like an executive producer or a co e P, 526 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,080 Speaker 1: if you're a writer, you don't get invited. So for 527 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: the seven of us that make it into the party, 528 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: we find each other because it's always the same ones, 529 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: and we hang out in the corner with each other 530 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 1: because those parties and those awards shows and those events 531 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: are really not designed for us. Right we have been 532 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: invited to them, but they're not there for us. The 533 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: music is not good, the food is not good. Like 534 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: it's not a party or an event to celebrate us. 535 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,920 Speaker 1: And this has been happening for years and years and 536 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: years and years and years. So a really close friend 537 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 1: of mine, Rande Garrett, who works with Indris Elba and 538 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 1: Jesse Williams. We were Actually it was Afro Punk weekend 539 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: in New York. I was out there with Issa and 540 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: Angie Martinez was throwing a barbecue, like for Power one 541 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 1: oh five. We went to the barbecue. On the way out, 542 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 1: Ronde stops me and he's like, I gotta talk to 543 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: you about something that I want to do. And he's like, 544 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: I only want to do it with you. I know 545 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: that you're the right person that I needs a partner 546 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 1: on this with. So I'm like, yeah, okay whatever. He 547 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: hits me later because I'm in work mode. I'm like, oh, 548 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: I's trying to plan a party with you, like I'm working. 549 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: He hits me later, tells me what he wants to do, 550 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 1: and he's like, why don't we throw a party? And 551 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: I was like, I do. I'm not a party but 552 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 1: I don't throw parties, like that's not what I do. 553 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: And he's like, no, this is He's like, think about it, 554 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 1: you know, He's like, think about most of our talent 555 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 1: are not at the our talent, not him and I, 556 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,840 Speaker 1: but just in black talent, we're not at the top 557 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 1: of the call sheets. If our show is not nominated, 558 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,760 Speaker 1: we definitely don't get invited to stuff, but people need 559 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 1: to be able to celebrate and celebrate in a way 560 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 1: and in a place that they feel inhibited and they 561 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: feel comfortable. And I was like, that's something I can 562 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: get behind. So I think I want to say maybe 563 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 1: within a week, two weeks now, I would say probably 564 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: within a week. Him and I, you know, we were like, Okay, 565 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 1: what do we want the party to be? And then 566 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 1: I really was there to execute, so you know, I 567 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: was literally outside the whole party for the most part, 568 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: decided who got in who got out. Like I was like, 569 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,760 Speaker 1: if I'm going to throw this party, it's gonna be 570 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,840 Speaker 1: black up. I think there were maybe two white people 571 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 1: in the whole party, and that was because they were 572 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: co signed by several other people, several other people, you know, 573 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: and people knew immediately when they walked in. They were like, Oh, 574 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: this is for us, this is a party where we 575 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: can be ourselves. There are a bunch of people like 576 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,160 Speaker 1: we didn't even confiscate phones or put the phones in 577 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: those little pouches or whatever, and people didn't have their 578 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 1: phones out. They were dancing, they were drinking, they were 579 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: finally connecting with people that they've been wanting to but 580 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: hadn't had an opportunity to um. You know, rep no 581 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 1: reps were inside, So your manager couldn't come with you, 582 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: your publicists couldn't come with you. You could come with 583 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: your friend, but that was it. You know. We really 584 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,760 Speaker 1: wanted a place for people, especially for talent, I think, 585 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:47,240 Speaker 1: to really feel comfortable. And then because I work on 586 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 1: the backside, right like I'm one of the people in 587 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,719 Speaker 1: the background. For me, it was really important that my 588 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,720 Speaker 1: my agent friends like Ashley Holland at w ME or 589 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: you know, to lead the walkins s c A, that 590 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 1: they all felt like they had a place to come too, 591 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 1: because people forget like all of these people behind the 592 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,400 Speaker 1: scenes are the ones that make the TV shows happen, 593 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,720 Speaker 1: that make the movies happen, that get these projects greenlit. 594 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 1: They also deserve a place to be celebrated and to 595 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:20,399 Speaker 1: have fun. UM and yeah, you know that that last year, 596 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,880 Speaker 1: Samsung was awesome and came in at I mean literally 597 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: like within a week and said we'll get behind you 598 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 1: and support you. Shout out to Woody UM and we 599 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,120 Speaker 1: were like, we're gonna throw this party. And I knew 600 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,200 Speaker 1: that because it was the first one and needed to 601 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: feel right and needed to the right people needed to 602 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,160 Speaker 1: be in the room. Like, you know, this wasn't a 603 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: place for reality stars. You know, this wasn't a place 604 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,600 Speaker 1: for you know, I'm an up and comings this and 605 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,840 Speaker 1: this and this. No, this was really a place for 606 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: people who are actively working in the business and excelling 607 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 1: to come and be with their own people. Um, you know, 608 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,360 Speaker 1: I got a lot of very angry texts and emails 609 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 1: probably for like a month, me and Rande afterwards. You know, 610 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: people who came that weren't weren't allowed in that I know, 611 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,319 Speaker 1: but I'm like, oh, yeah it was. I was very 612 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 1: particular about who I wanted in that room and how 613 00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 1: that room was curated. Because this isn't you know, no shade. 614 00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,320 Speaker 1: But like, this isn't Poppy, this isn't you know, bootsy, 615 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: this was this wasn't a club night. Yeah, you know, Okay, 616 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,840 Speaker 1: so hold on, walk me through this for a second. Yeah, 617 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,840 Speaker 1: because this is part of the job, right, especially in 618 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,239 Speaker 1: your job. Yeah, you in your job, you have to 619 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,319 Speaker 1: be very nice, nasty. Yeah, you gotta be a sour 620 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,919 Speaker 1: patch kid. You know what does that look like when 621 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 1: you are behind one of the biggest parties on one 622 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 1: of the biggest nights. You have people that you do 623 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:53,760 Speaker 1: like in respect. I imagine you know that you probably 624 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 1: worked with various things or had great moments with. How 625 00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 1: do you turn someone like that away from the door? 626 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,840 Speaker 1: What do you say, I'm so sorry, I'm not going 627 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,680 Speaker 1: to be able to let you in? Let you in? 628 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 1: So you didn't even like direct it like, oh no, 629 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,399 Speaker 1: because I'm not gonna lie it's too much work. So 630 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: and then when they say what do you mean why? 631 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 1: What do you say? Um, I don't know that part, 632 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I would probably just be honest, 633 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: be like, I'm sorry for curating the room. Oh yeah, 634 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 1: this is the thing. I'm so comfortable being me. I'm 635 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,759 Speaker 1: so comfortable and this is the thing real talk. You know, 636 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,640 Speaker 1: if you were supposed to be in that room or not, 637 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: you weren't surprised if I didn't let you in, Okay, 638 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 1: Like you have Stan Lathan going into the party, who's 639 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,279 Speaker 1: one of our legends, right, You have Tiffany Hattish coming in. 640 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 1: You have Dave Chappelle in the room. You have like, 641 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 1: you know, high level agents, you have real movers and 642 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:57,319 Speaker 1: shakers in the business coming. So if this was just 643 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 1: for your ego or for the Instagram's If you couldn't 644 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 1: go in that room and actually start a project with 645 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,960 Speaker 1: someone that was in that room, then that wasn't your room, right, 646 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,480 Speaker 1: And that's okay. Yeah, there were a bunch of people 647 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,480 Speaker 1: who came who I knew and didn't know where. I'm like, 648 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:17,160 Speaker 1: you don't work. You pretend to work. Oh Jesus, come on, 649 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 1: this is another This is a whole different episode. You 650 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 1: pretend to work. This isn't the room for you. What 651 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 1: does pretend to work look like? Pretend to work looks 652 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 1: like you are a publicist and you have a client 653 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,759 Speaker 1: on the carpet, yet you're posting a photo of you 654 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 1: at the step and repeat on your Instagram page. Ladies 655 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:44,239 Speaker 1: and gentlemen, this is my very spicy friend Vanessa. You know, 656 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 1: she is one of the kindest, sweetest, truly most absolutely 657 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,359 Speaker 1: most generous people I've ever been in my life. Like 658 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: extremely thoughtful to a next level degree. But she stands 659 00:37:55,880 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: in her truth very very staunchly. Yeah, I'm I'm okay 660 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 1: to be me and me as many things you asked 661 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:08,040 Speaker 1: me earlier, like what was one of the biggest I 662 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 1: think you said, tips or advice or something that I 663 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,160 Speaker 1: had gotten and I was telling you about Tammy and 664 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: how she was saying, always be yourself, no matter what 665 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 1: the room is. The other piece of advice that I 666 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,319 Speaker 1: got was from another mentor of my Black Woman shout 667 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,319 Speaker 1: out to Yvette Nouel shore Um. She's Beyonce's publicist. So 668 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,799 Speaker 1: I was like, she obviously has all the gems for me. 669 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: She knows what she doing, she knows what she's doing. Um. 670 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: And she really taught me, not even saying, but just 671 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 1: by how she lives that you can still be very 672 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 1: successful in this career by being a kind person and 673 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 1: being compassionate and being thoughtful. And I think that those 674 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,160 Speaker 1: are parts of me that I were already there. I 675 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,880 Speaker 1: think that there's this idea that those are not transferable 676 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,439 Speaker 1: characteristics that play well in this field, but they do. 677 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: So I'm happy to always be myself, but my delivery 678 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:07,319 Speaker 1: can be kinder or my delivery can be not so kind, 679 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 1: depending on what the situation is. So for like that party, 680 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 1: there were some people where I was just like, bro, 681 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: it's not gonna happen. I'm so sorry, you know, And 682 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,520 Speaker 1: then there were other people who I was like, it's 683 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,840 Speaker 1: eleven o'clock, the party's that capacity there may be going 684 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: to give me another forty five slots. I know that 685 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:31,520 Speaker 1: these other big talent or big people are coming, I 686 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:35,239 Speaker 1: can't I can't let you in. Or it's like, you know, 687 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,680 Speaker 1: it's it's crazy because that night was like part me 688 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 1: being just a publicist and a regular person, and then 689 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,880 Speaker 1: the other part was me really being like a party 690 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,439 Speaker 1: promoter in fact, because I'm like, why did you come 691 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: to the party with seven people? Right? So none of 692 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,400 Speaker 1: y'all are getting in now, you know. So like some 693 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: people took themselves up the running because they just didnified 694 00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,360 Speaker 1: by the rules, Like I told you you could just 695 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 1: come by yourself. I had you, not you plus twenty, 696 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,320 Speaker 1: So you know, it's it was difficult though. I got 697 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:09,600 Speaker 1: several emails, several calls, several text messages from people that 698 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 1: were like, I can't believe you didn't tell me about 699 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: the party, or I can't believe you didn't invite me 700 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,240 Speaker 1: to the party, and some people I literally just forgot 701 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 1: because literally I had a client nominated for an Emmy 702 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,719 Speaker 1: for the first time, Issa I had Marseille. It was 703 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,560 Speaker 1: literally like we had on board and Marseilles like three 704 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,200 Speaker 1: or four days before the Emmys, and then I decided 705 00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,959 Speaker 1: to plan this party, so like they were close friends 706 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: of mine who I just forgot to invite. That will 707 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,800 Speaker 1: never happen again because now we're like, we've got proper 708 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,319 Speaker 1: time to plan it. But you know, I was like, 709 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 1: I got real friends who I forgot to invite, and 710 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 1: you med and we don't do business together. You barely 711 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 1: know me, You barely like my photos on Instagram, Like 712 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 1: are you mad? Are you mad? You know? But you 713 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 1: know w the too. Like what you're kind of illustrating 714 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,160 Speaker 1: at the same time is that you can be when 715 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 1: you stand in the fullness of who you are. That 716 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,719 Speaker 1: also means you have layers, so you they're not mutually exclusive. 717 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,879 Speaker 1: Like you, there is a duality, Like you can be 718 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 1: a hardass, you can just stern, You can be you know, 719 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,840 Speaker 1: very tightly curated, and you can also be very kind 720 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,120 Speaker 1: and very generous and all and all of those things 721 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,799 Speaker 1: can exist at one time. It is not you have 722 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,840 Speaker 1: to be, you know, a bitch in the boardroom or 723 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,480 Speaker 1: you can be a sweetheart. You know, you can have 724 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: all of those sides of yourself displayed. And I'm and 725 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,080 Speaker 1: all of those sides of me are useful as certain 726 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 1: in different ways. In different ways. Yeah, yeah, I'm okay 727 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,520 Speaker 1: with that. Look, there's probably people when we do the 728 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,479 Speaker 1: Emmy Party this year, because we will do the Emmy 729 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: Party again, Snap, I'm sure one for one, we'll get 730 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,760 Speaker 1: a bigger venue so we can accommodate more peoful because 731 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,040 Speaker 1: that was the other thing too, was because we planned 732 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,160 Speaker 1: it so like we had no idea who was going 733 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,200 Speaker 1: to come, who wasn't going to come, And because I 734 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,759 Speaker 1: have planned so many events, I'm like, I'd rather have 735 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,239 Speaker 1: us mother's space that I can fill up then a 736 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,800 Speaker 1: big place that looks empty for the first round. For 737 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 1: the first round. Now we know y'all came out, so 738 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: next time you brought up that somebody came, you know, 739 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,000 Speaker 1: with seven girl, ten people. That's another part, especially when 740 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,839 Speaker 1: you have industry relationships, It's like you have to be 741 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,960 Speaker 1: really honest with one another about what the circumstances and 742 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,760 Speaker 1: avoid all awkwardness and and just like save space for Okay, 743 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,200 Speaker 1: it may not be this time, but it may be 744 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 1: the next time. Because I think even over the years, 745 00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,040 Speaker 1: like you and I have gone to different events together 746 00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:37,560 Speaker 1: and we've each taken turns saying to the other person, okay, listen, 747 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:42,239 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's only me getting in. If 748 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: it is, i'll catch you later. If there is a 749 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,320 Speaker 1: chance for me to have us both, then we're good. 750 00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,239 Speaker 1: Or you know, it's like sometimes you tell friends like 751 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 1: stay close by. I don't know for sure, but I'll 752 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,040 Speaker 1: let you know either way, instead of like creating that 753 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,279 Speaker 1: awkward space of oh, I don't want to leave. You know, 754 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,399 Speaker 1: it's okay, Lee, leave me. Leave me at the door, girl, 755 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 1: because we can't both get in, but you can get in, 756 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 1: goes ye, flourish and then bring me along, right, bring 757 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:11,600 Speaker 1: me to the next thing, or make a connection for 758 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:14,279 Speaker 1: me that or make a connection that maybe I can use, 759 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: like yeah, and and that's also part of the long 760 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: term vision, right and not taking things personally. Girl. When 761 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,800 Speaker 1: I get to something, When I get to a party 762 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:24,920 Speaker 1: or an event or whatever and I can't get in, 763 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,239 Speaker 1: you know what that is? That's guy saying, girl, go 764 00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 1: home before we start to before we start to wrap up. 765 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:35,800 Speaker 1: If you would share with me some energy shifting books 766 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,799 Speaker 1: or podcasts that you have in your life, something that 767 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: has shifted things for you or created a space for 768 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,279 Speaker 1: you that you think are important for other people to 769 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,879 Speaker 1: check out. So I actually think that the most important 770 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,520 Speaker 1: it's not even a book, it's not a podcast, but 771 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,840 Speaker 1: the most important relationship that I have that really made 772 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,440 Speaker 1: me shift my energy and my thinking, um, is actually 773 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:07,440 Speaker 1: my relationship with you. Really, Yeah, because I've seen you 774 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:14,399 Speaker 1: transition and I've seen you become um or I've seen 775 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,759 Speaker 1: you add new titles to your life. You know, I've 776 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,839 Speaker 1: seen you go from you know, radio host to TV 777 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:27,439 Speaker 1: personality to wife to mom podcast queen. Like I've seen 778 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:31,480 Speaker 1: you add all these titles or responsibilities rather to your 779 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:37,560 Speaker 1: plate with grace even if there's some challenges and accepting them, 780 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,319 Speaker 1: You've always been able to come out on the other 781 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 1: side with a lot of grace. Um. And that's really 782 00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,280 Speaker 1: been inspiring and it has changed how I see myself 783 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:51,440 Speaker 1: right um. And then also just your journey into being 784 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:56,239 Speaker 1: your better self has really forced me to be like, 785 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:01,400 Speaker 1: is there a better self out there of you? Vanessa? No? Seriously, 786 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,200 Speaker 1: you know, like because you wrote your book, I really 787 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:09,200 Speaker 1: got into crystals, and because you had Karna blists, and 788 00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,640 Speaker 1: because I am a friend who supports friends by purchasing, 789 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,960 Speaker 1: not by asking girl no, but really like I was like, 790 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:20,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy this Rose Cords necklace and bought it 791 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: just because it was yours, right. I bought one of 792 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,719 Speaker 1: the little satchels with the with the personals in bag. Yeah, 793 00:45:25,800 --> 00:45:29,360 Speaker 1: blisz bag. I bought that, not even keeping one, not 794 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,200 Speaker 1: even with the intention of really using it, but just 795 00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 1: to be like, I'm supporting my friend, but in the 796 00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,239 Speaker 1: process of getting it, being like, well, if I just 797 00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:40,240 Speaker 1: spent this money, what is this? You see what I'm saying. 798 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,319 Speaker 1: So like, in supporting you, ended up supporting myself. So like, 799 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,720 Speaker 1: all these touch points for you that that are related 800 00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,480 Speaker 1: to you, UM has been really important for me. Um. 801 00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 1: I think outside of you. Though. First let me say 802 00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,120 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you so much. I did not pay her. 803 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,920 Speaker 1: She didn't say that, she didn't. I only offered her 804 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,800 Speaker 1: basic level water during the recording of this show. Okay, 805 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,239 Speaker 1: first of all, this water is not basic. Okay, y'all 806 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,760 Speaker 1: know I only drink outolin water. It's like super bum 807 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,800 Speaker 1: And where do you even buy this water? He food Amazon? 808 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,440 Speaker 1: Oh this is fancy. Okay anyways, but yes, no, and 809 00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 1: I really do mean I honestly mean that. And even 810 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,719 Speaker 1: if we weren't here together, I would have said that, Um, 811 00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:26,200 Speaker 1: I think outside of her. Chryl Sandberg's boog Lenan was 812 00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:31,160 Speaker 1: really powerful for me. UM. Michelle Obama's book Becoming was 813 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:36,960 Speaker 1: was really inspiring for me. UM. And then I would 814 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:43,720 Speaker 1: say for podcasts, I really actually love when rap Radar 815 00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:47,280 Speaker 1: does interviews with like the jay Zs of the world 816 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,520 Speaker 1: or like Anthony Sale like because those are people behind 817 00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 1: well Jay not as much, but like an Anthony is 818 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,799 Speaker 1: behind the scenes. UM, And I'm really inspired by those 819 00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,839 Speaker 1: people because that's a similar position that I play. Shout 820 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:06,280 Speaker 1: out to Elliott and Brian to do. They do phenomenal UM. 821 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,680 Speaker 1: And then I think, you know, I love lov E, 822 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:13,640 Speaker 1: I love her Ranson Randomness. I love that podcast. And 823 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,399 Speaker 1: I think what's really really important too is that we 824 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:22,040 Speaker 1: incorporate laughter into our lives. And probably my favorite podcast 825 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,399 Speaker 1: that does that for me is The Read because they 826 00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 1: are cutting up the whole time and it's so fun 827 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,680 Speaker 1: to me, Like it's I love being able to when 828 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,840 Speaker 1: it like keeps me up on the latest and the 829 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,960 Speaker 1: greatest because sometimes I missed the tea. UM. But you know, 830 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,880 Speaker 1: they're also really really smart. They're very smart. I love 831 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,600 Speaker 1: their opinions, I love their views on things, and they're 832 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,680 Speaker 1: really funny, and I like having an opportunity to laugh 833 00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 1: because my next important girl, like, adding more playfulness into 834 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,640 Speaker 1: your life, especially as an adult, is so important. And 835 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:59,040 Speaker 1: in that case, I can starting post starting poset, you know, 836 00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,160 Speaker 1: I can like, oh I haven't caught it. Let me 837 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,840 Speaker 1: you know, on a commune. You know, we live in 838 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: l A. I live in South l A. Most of 839 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:10,879 Speaker 1: my life, my work life is not in that area. Stuff. Yeah, 840 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 1: I spent a lot of time in traffic. I used 841 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,440 Speaker 1: l A traffic specifically to nourish my spirit. Yes, yeah, 842 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:21,320 Speaker 1: I either driving silent in silence and just like yeah, 843 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:24,200 Speaker 1: just kind of process. Oh my gosh, my best idea 844 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,759 Speaker 1: to create space for your ideas and creat Yeah. Or 845 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:32,120 Speaker 1: I listened to like audio book or something else that 846 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 1: feels good. I can't do an audio book. I tried. 847 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,560 Speaker 1: Lisa wanted me to read this this one book, um, 848 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,160 Speaker 1: and she was like, just get the audio book. And 849 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,319 Speaker 1: I got the audio book and I just couldn't. What 850 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:46,920 Speaker 1: was the book? An American Marriage? Oh? I read that? 851 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god, So did Joanna tell you to read that? No? Okay, 852 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,360 Speaker 1: I just I actually had just picked it up at 853 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,680 Speaker 1: the airport to have like another book. It was, you know, 854 00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:00,600 Speaker 1: one of the ones on the forefront of release. Yes, 855 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,000 Speaker 1: I was like, what is this about? So we were 856 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,360 Speaker 1: in I feel like we were in Francesa and I 857 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 1: last year and she either had just finished it or 858 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,319 Speaker 1: maybe she saw something and was inspired by it, and 859 00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,040 Speaker 1: she was like, have you read this book? And I 860 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,759 Speaker 1: was like no, And I wanted to be like, girl, 861 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,839 Speaker 1: when do I have what? I have read this book? 862 00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,560 Speaker 1: When do I have time? And I love to read. 863 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,040 Speaker 1: I was like, when do I have time to read books? Um? 864 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,840 Speaker 1: But she was like, you really should read this, And 865 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,240 Speaker 1: I remember saying when do I have time to read books? 866 00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,040 Speaker 1: And she was like, girl, just get the audio book. 867 00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:34,080 Speaker 1: So I download the audio book and the book side. No. 868 00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,080 Speaker 1: I ended up just buying the hardcover and reading it. 869 00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,440 Speaker 1: And it's phenomenal. It's an amazing book. Everyone should should 870 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:46,279 Speaker 1: read it. But it really girls the turns um. But 871 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 1: I tried the audio book and I really could not 872 00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:52,319 Speaker 1: get into it, Like I really struggled with And I 873 00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,120 Speaker 1: tried a couple other ones, and I think I think 874 00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,600 Speaker 1: depending on the book and depending on who's reading, because 875 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,520 Speaker 1: that has a lot to do with it. Yet that book, 876 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:02,720 Speaker 1: particularly the way that that story is told, it would 877 00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,400 Speaker 1: be very confusing and hard to get into the story 878 00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,920 Speaker 1: as audio book, Yes, because it takes it has so 879 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,399 Speaker 1: many perspectives and so many time jumps. Yes, too hard 880 00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,400 Speaker 1: to other books Like right now, I just finished Digital 881 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:18,240 Speaker 1: minimal Minimalism as audiobook and The Conscious Parent as audio 882 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,239 Speaker 1: book and those were great. Yeah, great, So yeah, just 883 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,680 Speaker 1: try it again. Tell me some of the things that 884 00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,239 Speaker 1: you do to replenish yourself, things that I did to 885 00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:34,080 Speaker 1: replenish myself. Um, I regularly get massages import man, and 886 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,919 Speaker 1: it's not just for the relaxation element, which by the way, 887 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,480 Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of Swedish massage. I want to 888 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:40,880 Speaker 1: go in there and I want you to whoop my 889 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,879 Speaker 1: ass and I feel incredible the deepest of tissues. So 890 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:49,520 Speaker 1: I would say last year, probably like around maybe the 891 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 1: time Insecure season three came out, which was July. UM, 892 00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,839 Speaker 1: I was flying a lot and my it was really 893 00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,480 Speaker 1: weighing on my body, and I was like, I've got 894 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,720 Speaker 1: to really make some changes one with just in general 895 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:07,000 Speaker 1: my health and like exercising and food and food choices 896 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,040 Speaker 1: and stuff. But I was like, I really also need 897 00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,400 Speaker 1: to like literally take care of my body and I 898 00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:15,279 Speaker 1: need someone to work on my body consistently because you know, 899 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,120 Speaker 1: even if you're in first class and you in a 900 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,920 Speaker 1: life flat like, it's still a plane, it's not a 901 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,239 Speaker 1: bit right, you know what I mean? And like it 902 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,719 Speaker 1: starts to really affect your neck and your shoulders and 903 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,120 Speaker 1: your hips and your legs and everything. So I really 904 00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:34,640 Speaker 1: incorporated getting regular massages into my schedule in the same 905 00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,839 Speaker 1: way I put in you know, meetings or or anything else. 906 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm glad, yeah, and it's been I've been able to 907 00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:47,320 Speaker 1: maintain like a healthy body and posture and stuff because 908 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,600 Speaker 1: I do that so regularly. And also it's like setting 909 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:53,040 Speaker 1: the intention in the universe and the spiritual realm that hey, 910 00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,080 Speaker 1: I care about myself. Yes, like I am. I'm looking 911 00:51:56,120 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 1: to invite more abundance and by the care enjoy that 912 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,440 Speaker 1: I treat myself with, I think the other way that 913 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:09,719 Speaker 1: I really replenish myself is, Um, this is probably it's 914 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,840 Speaker 1: probably sounds a little silly, but I'm really big on 915 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 1: my nails. Like I really love like having cool designs 916 00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:20,160 Speaker 1: and getting the latest trends. So I spent a lot 917 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:25,239 Speaker 1: of money, um getting my nails done. And what I've 918 00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:28,200 Speaker 1: found is for that hour two hours I put my 919 00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:32,040 Speaker 1: phone down, I literally cannot be on the phone. UM, 920 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,360 Speaker 1: and it gives me maybe an hour or two hours 921 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,880 Speaker 1: to just kind of disconnect and the only thing that 922 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,120 Speaker 1: I have is me and the nail tech or nothing 923 00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:43,440 Speaker 1: or silence, you know. UM. And at the end, I'm 924 00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,600 Speaker 1: able to walk away with something really cool or dope 925 00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,319 Speaker 1: or pretty UM. And then lastly, something I've been doing 926 00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,719 Speaker 1: more recently. I think this may be news to you, 927 00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:55,799 Speaker 1: is UM. So I used to sew UM like I 928 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,960 Speaker 1: know how to sew, like I can make clothes and 929 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:02,600 Speaker 1: whatever else. And because my schedule has gotten so hectic, 930 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,960 Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of time to complete projects right, 931 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,480 Speaker 1: So I don't have time to like cut the patterns, out, 932 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,880 Speaker 1: cut the fabric out, sit and sew it whatever. And 933 00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,160 Speaker 1: I need things are projects that I can see to completion, 934 00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,239 Speaker 1: right Like I need to be able to finish things 935 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,040 Speaker 1: because in my work life there's so many things that 936 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 1: go unfinished. So I need some sort of energetic level 937 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:30,200 Speaker 1: that's really important to be able to experience completion. Otherwise 938 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:33,600 Speaker 1: it kind of creates this open ended space that stays 939 00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,120 Speaker 1: in you when you have all of these unfinished projects 940 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,640 Speaker 1: around you look at that and even if you close 941 00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:41,840 Speaker 1: the circle when you either choose to complete it or 942 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,200 Speaker 1: you choose to say I will not complete this and 943 00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:47,600 Speaker 1: put it away. But when you leave it, they're like, oh, 944 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:51,640 Speaker 1: I gotta finish this. You really take away energy in 945 00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:54,319 Speaker 1: your life and out of your spirit that you could 946 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:57,600 Speaker 1: be filled with space. Yeah, that's so man, I'm on 947 00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,759 Speaker 1: a higher level and didn't even know it. No, But 948 00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,560 Speaker 1: so what I started to do was I started um 949 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:11,680 Speaker 1: making lotions. Oh yeah, so I was inspired by strippers. Um, 950 00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:15,960 Speaker 1: let's unpack this. Yes. So I did a semester at 951 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:21,120 Speaker 1: Spellman in college, and a lot of my dating experiences 952 00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,200 Speaker 1: were tied to the strip club at that time. I 953 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,040 Speaker 1: don't know how it is now, but I would meet 954 00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:29,440 Speaker 1: dudes and they would be like, I want to go 955 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:33,000 Speaker 1: to the strip club, and I was like, sure, why not? 956 00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,560 Speaker 1: And I ended up going a lot um And then 957 00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,600 Speaker 1: as my career has, you know, I've gotten into different 958 00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:42,480 Speaker 1: parts of my career. Sometimes I have to go to 959 00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,080 Speaker 1: the strip club with a client, or they want me 960 00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:48,000 Speaker 1: to go because some dudes invited them and they're like, 961 00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,480 Speaker 1: I don't know, he's sketched, like come with me. Or 962 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,759 Speaker 1: sometimes they have really good food and that's the only 963 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,359 Speaker 1: thing opened that part of the club that part, that 964 00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:58,480 Speaker 1: part for real, for real, or you know, I'm trying 965 00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,600 Speaker 1: to sign a client and he's meet me at the 966 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:02,640 Speaker 1: strip club, or she's like me at the strip club. 967 00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,319 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I'm at the strip club. So 968 00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,480 Speaker 1: after being in many shop clubs in many cities in 969 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:11,400 Speaker 1: the United States and abroad, I was like, okay, because 970 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:14,400 Speaker 1: I really love, like, well more stry skin. It's like 971 00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,080 Speaker 1: a thing of mine, especially for black people, because like 972 00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,960 Speaker 1: ash shows up for us, so like I need you 973 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,960 Speaker 1: to not be ashy. I don't know what where or 974 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,160 Speaker 1: what happened where I was like, I'm gonna start baking elections. 975 00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:28,280 Speaker 1: I don't remember that point, but I do remember saying, Okay, 976 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,880 Speaker 1: if I'm gonna make a lotion, who's skin what I 977 00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,120 Speaker 1: want to mimic or what I want to have. Now 978 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:39,319 Speaker 1: you've been to strip clubs, I'm sure no comment. Okay, Well, 979 00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:43,120 Speaker 1: from my experience, I will say, come on, I lived 980 00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:46,239 Speaker 1: in Houston first, so then yeah, so you know, but 981 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,160 Speaker 1: a great stripper doesn't have a smell, and if she 982 00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,040 Speaker 1: does have a smell, it's a very pleasant smell and 983 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:56,040 Speaker 1: she's super soft. How many people are you touching in 984 00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,360 Speaker 1: these clubs? It's not about that you get lost in 985 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,640 Speaker 1: the weed. A point is they have super soft skin 986 00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:07,719 Speaker 1: and they don't have an odor despite the physical activity 987 00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:10,839 Speaker 1: that they're doing for hours. Yeah yeah, because when you 988 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,600 Speaker 1: really think about that, because even if you're at a 989 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,320 Speaker 1: party in a room full of people, you get a 990 00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,120 Speaker 1: little moist and a little you know, hot, and you 991 00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:22,040 Speaker 1: get hot, you get sweaty, and we at least at 992 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:26,440 Speaker 1: a party have the protection of clothing to soak up sweat, 993 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:31,080 Speaker 1: funk whatever. So two things. One, this episode has taken 994 00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:36,600 Speaker 1: quite the term that I was not expecting. Um, but 995 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:41,880 Speaker 1: let me let's let's really talk about the research that 996 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:45,839 Speaker 1: was done here with your inspiration. I mean, were you 997 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:49,359 Speaker 1: walking in I would be at clubs and I was like, 998 00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,800 Speaker 1: you know, if you if a lot of times, especially 999 00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,279 Speaker 1: when I was in Atlanta, dudes would get like lave 1000 00:56:55,360 --> 00:57:01,320 Speaker 1: dances for you. Right, I'm not like some crazy prude 1001 00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,400 Speaker 1: where I'm not going to like touch a leg or 1002 00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,240 Speaker 1: like touch like I'm touching grab a cheek. I'm learning 1003 00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:10,480 Speaker 1: a lot about you right now. Very respectful. I'm a 1004 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:14,480 Speaker 1: very respectful strip club patron. It's not a firm grab. 1005 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:18,640 Speaker 1: It's just like more of a gentle pat, I don't. Again, 1006 00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,680 Speaker 1: we're in the weeds. We're in the weeds. That doesn't matter. 1007 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,640 Speaker 1: The point is a good stripper smells good and has 1008 00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:30,120 Speaker 1: soft skin despite physical activity for hours. Okay, okay. So 1009 00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:35,760 Speaker 1: I was like, how can I duplicate that? So when 1010 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,040 Speaker 1: I made When I had that thought, I ended up 1011 00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,080 Speaker 1: going to a couple more ship clubs. So I started 1012 00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:42,440 Speaker 1: asking them, this is what this is the part I 1013 00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:46,680 Speaker 1: wanted to get into the research, started asking them. Decided 1014 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,600 Speaker 1: to begin making motions as a way to nourish yourself, 1015 00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:57,360 Speaker 1: kind of take your mind off of things. You made appointments. 1016 00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:01,520 Speaker 1: I did not make appointments. Don't try to play. I don't. 1017 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,200 Speaker 1: I would be out already and I would be like, oh, 1018 00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,920 Speaker 1: let me ask her. I'd be like, girl, what do 1019 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,400 Speaker 1: you use on your skin? This isn't I'm just thinking 1020 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,280 Speaker 1: of the clients on your roster now, and I want 1021 00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,640 Speaker 1: to know who you had to go to these clubs with. 1022 00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:19,920 Speaker 1: This is also years. This is over years. This is 1023 00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,760 Speaker 1: over years. This isn't like within the past. I was like, wells, no, 1024 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,040 Speaker 1: it's not taking you there. First of all, you don't 1025 00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:30,680 Speaker 1: know what I did with my clients. Okay, First of all, 1026 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,000 Speaker 1: I'll be active, Like you know, you don't know what 1027 00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:34,880 Speaker 1: I'm doing with people. You don't know where we at, 1028 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,920 Speaker 1: where rooms were in So did you ask them to 1029 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,600 Speaker 1: get you start asking them? I said, hey, I was 1030 00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:44,000 Speaker 1: like your skin is so soft, or like you smell great. 1031 00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:47,480 Speaker 1: I'd be like, what do you use? So I probably 1032 00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:53,080 Speaker 1: asked about a dozen women. And then I put those 1033 00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:59,840 Speaker 1: ingredients together in a lotion. Okay, and that lotion it 1034 00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,920 Speaker 1: caught my stripper o G lotion Oh okay. And since 1035 00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:09,400 Speaker 1: then I've made I've made other versions, some that are 1036 00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:14,160 Speaker 1: like moral, natural organic. Oddly enough, I didn't know you 1037 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,480 Speaker 1: were making motions, but now that I think about it, 1038 00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:21,320 Speaker 1: your softness is a really big priority to you. And 1039 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,640 Speaker 1: I have absolutely heard you comment on other people's softness, 1040 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:31,160 Speaker 1: and I have heard you discussing lotion quite often. I 1041 00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:35,240 Speaker 1: love soft skin. It's also part of my woo for men, 1042 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:38,320 Speaker 1: like how I woo them in Yeah, and they're like, 1043 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,960 Speaker 1: my god, yeah I have I smell good in your 1044 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,280 Speaker 1: soft skin? But yeah. So the point is I started 1045 00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:46,680 Speaker 1: making these lotions, and the lotions I can make really fast. 1046 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:49,800 Speaker 1: I can make a lotion in twenty minutes. So I 1047 00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:54,200 Speaker 1: started making these lotions and I love again like I 1048 00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,320 Speaker 1: love soft skin, I love like being moisturized. Also love 1049 00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,960 Speaker 1: gifting people things, um, and it's something that I can 1050 01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:04,120 Speaker 1: start an end really quick, like so I can start 1051 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:08,440 Speaker 1: a project and end a projecting meetings. I really love 1052 01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:11,040 Speaker 1: that actually because I think us doing things with our hands, 1053 01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:12,960 Speaker 1: especially now in the day and age, we get really 1054 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:16,760 Speaker 1: really disconnected from things like that. But there's such grounding 1055 01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:20,320 Speaker 1: and centering activities just to take on small hobbies like 1056 01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,120 Speaker 1: nothing too big. This doesn't have to be your second 1057 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:26,080 Speaker 1: source of income. It can just be something you enjoy 1058 01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,760 Speaker 1: doing when you have a second that you know it's 1059 01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,120 Speaker 1: it's the method, and it's the ritual of it. It's 1060 01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,600 Speaker 1: the use of your hands. And like I'm at the 1061 01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,520 Speaker 1: point now where I love it so much where I'm like, hmm, 1062 01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,600 Speaker 1: I wonder if I could make like an all natural 1063 01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,880 Speaker 1: version of like a bigs vapor reb right, So now 1064 01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,880 Speaker 1: that also becomes something really useful actually just made one 1065 01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,520 Speaker 1: for quest say yeah, I love I I'm like that 1066 01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,560 Speaker 1: too if I if I get the chance, I like 1067 01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:53,280 Speaker 1: to do. I'm a very very very crafty person and 1068 01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,840 Speaker 1: it brings me lots of you know, silent joy exactly 1069 01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,720 Speaker 1: like I love to kick, but I live alone. I'm 1070 01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:04,040 Speaker 1: not and I spend most of my meals with other 1071 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:08,080 Speaker 1: people outside of my home. So it doesn't really suit 1072 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,680 Speaker 1: or it doesn't serve me to cook like that, right, 1073 01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,480 Speaker 1: like to go and get all these recipes because at 1074 01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,440 Speaker 1: a moment's notice, I might have to be on a 1075 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,200 Speaker 1: flight tomorrow. Um you know, I'm gone for five days. 1076 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,360 Speaker 1: Their food is wasted. So like, I don't really cook 1077 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,600 Speaker 1: like I used to. But this still allows me to 1078 01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:26,080 Speaker 1: be creative and use my hands as you you know 1079 01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:29,080 Speaker 1: you pointed out, and do something that like it feels great. 1080 01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:30,680 Speaker 1: And then at the end, I have like these little 1081 01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,080 Speaker 1: things that I can give to the homies or take 1082 01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,880 Speaker 1: with me on you know, when I'm traveling or whatever. 1083 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,000 Speaker 1: One of the one of the last things that I 1084 01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:42,320 Speaker 1: want to ask you, I'm gonna share with you a 1085 01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:46,440 Speaker 1: couple of traits that I love about you as a person. 1086 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:49,440 Speaker 1: So some of the things that you possess that I 1087 01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:55,000 Speaker 1: absolutely defined to be like definitive characteristics of who you are, Okay, 1088 01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:59,320 Speaker 1: that I really enjoy. I think you're a very commanding person. 1089 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:02,120 Speaker 1: I like that you said commanding and not bossy. Oh no, 1090 01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:05,320 Speaker 1: two very different things. You have a very commanding presence 1091 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,680 Speaker 1: in a very direct way about you that is very 1092 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,880 Speaker 1: rare and very beneficial to the people's lives who you're in. 1093 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:15,840 Speaker 1: You're a very celebratory person, and that is really special 1094 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:19,480 Speaker 1: as a friend, but also like for clients and you know, 1095 01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:22,400 Speaker 1: people that you work with, but you like to take 1096 01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,360 Speaker 1: the time to celebrate people. There have been I'm not 1097 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,080 Speaker 1: a very I'm a very excited person for other people, 1098 01:02:28,560 --> 01:02:31,400 Speaker 1: but I don't get excited about myself or my stuff. 1099 01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:34,120 Speaker 1: I could literally have the biggest deal of my life, 1100 01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:36,160 Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to avoid it. It's just not 1101 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:39,440 Speaker 1: how my mind works, right. I'm kind of just way 1102 01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:42,440 Speaker 1: too in the moment. So I don't like, you will 1103 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:44,200 Speaker 1: never get a text for me or a phone call 1104 01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:46,320 Speaker 1: from me, Oh my god, guess what just happened to me? Like, 1105 01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,080 Speaker 1: oh my god. Like and which is not like I 1106 01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:52,120 Speaker 1: love getting those calls from people. I just don't and 1107 01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,400 Speaker 1: can't do that. But there have been many times in 1108 01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:58,520 Speaker 1: my life that I've had like some new milestone happen 1109 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,800 Speaker 1: or something come about, and I'll just kind of plainly 1110 01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:04,160 Speaker 1: say it to you, and You'll be like, no, no, no, no, 1111 01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:08,760 Speaker 1: let's go back this is amazing, and you'll like really, 1112 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:11,919 Speaker 1: you'll celebrate me and it feels great and you'll bring 1113 01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:14,040 Speaker 1: me into a space of that. And I love that 1114 01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:18,960 Speaker 1: You're very thoughtful, extremely extremely thoughtful person. I'll never forget 1115 01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,920 Speaker 1: the time that I when I was doing radio in Houston, 1116 01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,560 Speaker 1: I had just got promoted to music director and I 1117 01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:27,000 Speaker 1: had like my own office, and I had just decorated 1118 01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,640 Speaker 1: my office, and out of nowhere, we're living in different states. 1119 01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:33,320 Speaker 1: Out of nowhere, I get a delivery to the reception 1120 01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:36,600 Speaker 1: area of my office and you know, it's like beautiful 1121 01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:39,200 Speaker 1: flower and bamboo arrangement. You know that you just sent 1122 01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:42,360 Speaker 1: me to say congratulations, and that really meant so much. 1123 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,160 Speaker 1: And I hadn't even told anyone that I got this promotion, 1124 01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:48,200 Speaker 1: but I just like really simply put it on my 1125 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,160 Speaker 1: story or something like that. But you took it from 1126 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:52,960 Speaker 1: that to go out of your way to do that. 1127 01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:56,160 Speaker 1: So I love it about you. You're very very resourceful. 1128 01:03:56,360 --> 01:04:00,360 Speaker 1: You're a highly highly resourceful person. There is no telling, 1129 01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:03,720 Speaker 1: you know, and there is no this isn't going to happen, 1130 01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:05,960 Speaker 1: you know it. Really You're like, okay, well if that 1131 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,200 Speaker 1: can't happen, then let me go back around and find 1132 01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:12,920 Speaker 1: something equal or better and you you really do an 1133 01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:16,680 Speaker 1: incredible job of just being highly resourceful. And another thing, 1134 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:18,480 Speaker 1: and you know these aren't all the things, but these 1135 01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:22,240 Speaker 1: are what came up for me the highlights. Another thing 1136 01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:26,080 Speaker 1: is worth. I think you are somebody that genuinely knows 1137 01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,160 Speaker 1: your full worth. And I don't just mean that in 1138 01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:31,720 Speaker 1: a monetary sense, because I think especially in careers, especially 1139 01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:35,080 Speaker 1: like visible careers, that's what people interpret is worth, like 1140 01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:37,640 Speaker 1: how many how many things are you posting about articles 1141 01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,000 Speaker 1: written about you? Or how much how much money are 1142 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,960 Speaker 1: you making. It's not just about and that's important, it's not. 1143 01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,560 Speaker 1: But it's not just about knowing your worth and like 1144 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,360 Speaker 1: just fighting for your salary your money, like you know 1145 01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:51,520 Speaker 1: your worth as a soul, as a person. You know 1146 01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:55,480 Speaker 1: what you share when you exist in a room with 1147 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:59,160 Speaker 1: other people. Yes, that took that one. I think took 1148 01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,720 Speaker 1: me a long time. I think, well, I'll say that 1149 01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:04,280 Speaker 1: I felt like I learned that part about myself as 1150 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,680 Speaker 1: it pertains to relationships with women and with work, but 1151 01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:12,960 Speaker 1: for men, it took me a long time for that one. Yeah. Um, yeah, 1152 01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:14,880 Speaker 1: that one took me a long time. I don't think 1153 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:19,120 Speaker 1: I really understood my worth as it pertains to relationships 1154 01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:23,160 Speaker 1: like intimate relationships or love interests or love relationships with men. 1155 01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,000 Speaker 1: Probably until a couple of years ago, where I think that, 1156 01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:28,480 Speaker 1: I think that's everybody, you know. I mean, you're only 1157 01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:31,320 Speaker 1: in your early thirties, no for sure, for sure and 1158 01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:34,160 Speaker 1: really and you know it's like that even even in 1159 01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:37,280 Speaker 1: relationship with men, that's a muscle. So it means that, 1160 01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,000 Speaker 1: like you have to have a lot of experience in 1161 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,000 Speaker 1: that space. You're busy, You're not just you know, running 1162 01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:45,560 Speaker 1: the street. I mean, so it definitely, it definitely takes 1163 01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:49,320 Speaker 1: time to get there. I'm really touched by my highlight 1164 01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:52,880 Speaker 1: reel here. Girl. I really appreciate that. That's no, because 1165 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:56,360 Speaker 1: I think that, Um, you know, sometimes you're just living 1166 01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,440 Speaker 1: and you're just kind of moving like how you move, 1167 01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:04,400 Speaker 1: and you don't really take stock of the things that 1168 01:06:04,440 --> 01:06:07,840 Speaker 1: are happening in your life. Um you don't necessarily like 1169 01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:10,160 Speaker 1: you know that things are milestones, but you don't know 1170 01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:14,880 Speaker 1: their significance. Um sometimes until way, way way later, or 1171 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:18,520 Speaker 1: until someone says like, no, that's important. And I think 1172 01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,360 Speaker 1: that's why I do that. I try to do that 1173 01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:23,760 Speaker 1: for other people, Like I really love to celebrate people 1174 01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:27,680 Speaker 1: mainly because like, I don't know how long I'll have people. 1175 01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:31,360 Speaker 1: So if I have you, and I can tell you 1176 01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:33,360 Speaker 1: or I can send you an arrangement, or I can 1177 01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:36,400 Speaker 1: write you a card, or I can bring you some lotion. 1178 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,360 Speaker 1: Like if I can give you something or do something 1179 01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:43,080 Speaker 1: or say something that makes you feel good, why would 1180 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,080 Speaker 1: I not? Why would I not do that? You know? 1181 01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,040 Speaker 1: You know? And I think it's I think the thoughtfulness 1182 01:06:48,080 --> 01:06:50,080 Speaker 1: part too. I'm probably gonna get all emotional about it, 1183 01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:52,680 Speaker 1: but I think the thoughtfulness part two comes from not 1184 01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:57,040 Speaker 1: having siblings, honestly, and and wanting to connect with people 1185 01:06:57,240 --> 01:06:59,600 Speaker 1: all the time. And like, you know, I really don't 1186 01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:02,400 Speaker 1: have a lot family like my I wasn't only on 1187 01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:04,760 Speaker 1: my dad's side. I'm an only child. My dad was 1188 01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:07,320 Speaker 1: an only child. My grandmother was an only child. So 1189 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm the last Anderson left. Um. And then on my 1190 01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,960 Speaker 1: mom's side, that relationship is very strained, you know. And 1191 01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:17,080 Speaker 1: that's a bigger family. But I'm not really in that family, 1192 01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:22,120 Speaker 1: you know. Um, So my friendships mean everything to me, 1193 01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:25,040 Speaker 1: Like my friends are my family, like you are my family, 1194 01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:28,680 Speaker 1: like quest is my nephew, like and I really feel 1195 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:32,960 Speaker 1: that and believe that. And when you have put people 1196 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:36,200 Speaker 1: in your life in positions, um where they have that 1197 01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:38,720 Speaker 1: much weight. I think it's important that they know, like 1198 01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,920 Speaker 1: you matter to me, You're important to me, um. And 1199 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:45,760 Speaker 1: little things, man, the littlest things can have such an impact. 1200 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,000 Speaker 1: Like you know, I work in a job or I 1201 01:07:48,000 --> 01:07:50,600 Speaker 1: have I work in a career that's very thankless, very 1202 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:52,960 Speaker 1: very Seldom do people say thank you because they pay me, 1203 01:07:53,040 --> 01:07:55,200 Speaker 1: so they think that I'm not also deserving of the 1204 01:07:55,320 --> 01:08:01,040 Speaker 1: thank you, right right, yeah right, So for me, I 1205 01:08:01,080 --> 01:08:03,360 Speaker 1: love when people say thank you, So I try to 1206 01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:05,800 Speaker 1: spend my life with my friends or other people that 1207 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:08,040 Speaker 1: work for me or help me saying thank you and 1208 01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,000 Speaker 1: thank you can come and look. You know it looks 1209 01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:12,200 Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways, but you know it 1210 01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:16,240 Speaker 1: doesn't hurt me to send you an arrangement to celebrate 1211 01:08:16,280 --> 01:08:19,360 Speaker 1: an amazing accomplishment for you, well, because I need you 1212 01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:22,080 Speaker 1: to know that you mean a lot to me, and 1213 01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:24,200 Speaker 1: it means I'm willing to spend the hundred dollars or 1214 01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,479 Speaker 1: however much it costs so that you know that you 1215 01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:29,240 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, it's absolutely it's it's so 1216 01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,759 Speaker 1: important And I know that that comes from my grandmother 1217 01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:35,840 Speaker 1: who wrote cards physical cards to people every week. Every week, 1218 01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,120 Speaker 1: you know, there was no texting. You had to send 1219 01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:42,200 Speaker 1: people like postage letters, you know. Every week she would 1220 01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:44,799 Speaker 1: send things. I've been sorry, this is a total tangent, 1221 01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:48,200 Speaker 1: but I remember going to there was no CVS at 1222 01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:50,800 Speaker 1: the time, whatever was before CV, A thrifty or something 1223 01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:54,360 Speaker 1: like that. Yea, And my grandmother. Every week we would 1224 01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,280 Speaker 1: go to the drug store and she would buy like, hella, 1225 01:08:57,439 --> 01:09:02,360 Speaker 1: thinking of You cards, I mean like twenty cards, and 1226 01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,320 Speaker 1: throughout the week she would write different people, Hey, just 1227 01:09:05,520 --> 01:09:07,640 Speaker 1: these thinking of you cards, and she would send them 1228 01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:09,800 Speaker 1: out to people. And I think seeing that all the 1229 01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:13,240 Speaker 1: time kind of is stuck with me. You know, obviously 1230 01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:16,879 Speaker 1: I'm not sending sending I'm not sending thinking of your cards. 1231 01:09:16,960 --> 01:09:18,640 Speaker 1: But it could be a text, or it could be 1232 01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:20,960 Speaker 1: a fun arrangement, or it could be like a you know, 1233 01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:24,320 Speaker 1: Hella heart emojis on an Instagram post or whatever it is. 1234 01:09:24,479 --> 01:09:27,160 Speaker 1: But it's like, that's that's the things. Those are the 1235 01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:30,519 Speaker 1: things that people remember to like, yeah, and you know, yeah, 1236 01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,240 Speaker 1: staying engaged with people in a way that you know 1237 01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:37,160 Speaker 1: matters to them. Yes, yes, like you know that that 1238 01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:39,479 Speaker 1: that particular way that you do that matters to that 1239 01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:42,639 Speaker 1: person or that's the best way to convey the message. Yeah, 1240 01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:45,600 Speaker 1: you have to be really connected to people and like 1241 01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:49,120 Speaker 1: pay attention, pay attention. Yeah, And my job is about 1242 01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:53,479 Speaker 1: paying attentions, right, Like I have to pay attention all 1243 01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:56,439 Speaker 1: day with a client. So, like I think about like Marseille, right, 1244 01:09:56,520 --> 01:10:00,360 Speaker 1: like she's fourteen, she's young. I know when we gotta 1245 01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:03,400 Speaker 1: wrap her whole energy changes, she gets tired, she's a kid. 1246 01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:07,640 Speaker 1: I have to constantly be paying attention to people's cues, right. So, 1247 01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:10,880 Speaker 1: Like for Issa, I know, like when she gets certain things, 1248 01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:13,080 Speaker 1: or when certain people center stuff, or she gets a 1249 01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:15,599 Speaker 1: certain type of note, certain things resonate with her. So 1250 01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:17,640 Speaker 1: if I want to show her that I love her 1251 01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:20,000 Speaker 1: and I care about her and she matters to me, 1252 01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:21,599 Speaker 1: then I do it in a way that I know 1253 01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:25,120 Speaker 1: will affect her and touch her. Yeah, you know. So 1254 01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:29,000 Speaker 1: I'm really touched by your list though, Yeah, girl, and 1255 01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:31,040 Speaker 1: the resource on this girl. That's because you know, ain't 1256 01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:33,400 Speaker 1: nobody out here really wanting black women to win like that. 1257 01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:38,160 Speaker 1: I have to win, so I gotta figure it out. Yeah. 1258 01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:41,200 Speaker 1: I hate to say it like that, but plainly said, Yeah, 1259 01:10:41,439 --> 01:10:43,439 Speaker 1: I mean, I hear you. It's not like we're at 1260 01:10:43,439 --> 01:10:45,760 Speaker 1: the top of people's list of like, you know, people 1261 01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:49,080 Speaker 1: aren't supporting black women like that, people aren't bolstering black 1262 01:10:49,120 --> 01:10:51,920 Speaker 1: women up. I will say, I'm glad to be alive 1263 01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:56,240 Speaker 1: in this exact time and moment in history because it's 1264 01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:59,000 Speaker 1: evolving and it's the best it's ever been. And I 1265 01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:02,280 Speaker 1: to that point, it's great because even a couple of 1266 01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,880 Speaker 1: years ago, it wasn't like this. So we have clear 1267 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,160 Speaker 1: memories of what it used to be and what it 1268 01:11:07,240 --> 01:11:09,439 Speaker 1: is and what it and hopefully we'll be around to 1269 01:11:09,479 --> 01:11:12,479 Speaker 1: see what it ends up really being, you know, Like 1270 01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:14,559 Speaker 1: I think to your point, we're in this great space 1271 01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:16,920 Speaker 1: where how it used to be is not out of 1272 01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:21,960 Speaker 1: my mind. I have immediate memories. Yes, I have vivid 1273 01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:26,160 Speaker 1: memories of sometimes my own people blocking me. And now 1274 01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:28,080 Speaker 1: we you know, and now we're in this place or 1275 01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:30,320 Speaker 1: this space, excuse me, where we're really trying to figure 1276 01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:32,760 Speaker 1: it out and people are embracing women of color and 1277 01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:36,360 Speaker 1: black women, and is really beautiful. It is, It's really 1278 01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:40,600 Speaker 1: really beautiful. Yeah, thank you, thank you, girl, thank you 1279 01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:42,920 Speaker 1: so much for joining us for this episode. I hope 1280 01:11:42,920 --> 01:11:46,400 Speaker 1: it was good. I love you very very much, and 1281 01:11:46,560 --> 01:11:49,400 Speaker 1: I celebrate you, and I honor you, and I am 1282 01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:52,439 Speaker 1: so excited for all that is yet to come. Thank you, girl, 1283 01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:55,280 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're doing this. This is so important, 1284 01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:58,760 Speaker 1: so needed. You know. I think that you have a 1285 01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:02,439 Speaker 1: really special light and a voice that needs to be shared. 1286 01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:04,519 Speaker 1: And I love that we live in a space at 1287 01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:07,559 Speaker 1: a time where we can do this anywhere your light 1288 01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:11,640 Speaker 1: can be shared with everyone around the world, like the 1289 01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:15,439 Speaker 1: technology exists for that to happen now, which I think 1290 01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,240 Speaker 1: is so beautiful and great, and I'm so grateful for it. 1291 01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,880 Speaker 1: I was really surprised that you wanted little o me 1292 01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:23,760 Speaker 1: oh girl. By all right, And on that note, I'm 1293 01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:28,120 Speaker 1: serious girl, everybody listening. As Vanessa so beautifully pointed out, 1294 01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,120 Speaker 1: this is the time that you can get your voice, 1295 01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:35,640 Speaker 1: your story, whatever it is that you uniquely and wonderfully 1296 01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:38,720 Speaker 1: have to say out, So just do it. It's The 1297 01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:43,080 Speaker 1: Dropping Jim's Podcast. Big thank you for listening to this 1298 01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:46,400 Speaker 1: episode of The Dropping Gem's Podcast. This show is executive 1299 01:12:46,439 --> 01:12:50,320 Speaker 1: produced by Adrian Scott and me Debbie Brown. Our theme 1300 01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:53,080 Speaker 1: music was created by producer day One, and the poem 1301 01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:54,599 Speaker 1: that you heard at the beginning of the show, well 1302 01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:57,240 Speaker 1: that was created especially for us by award winning poet 1303 01:12:57,280 --> 01:12:59,280 Speaker 1: and I'm the oak for If you have a quick 1304 01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:02,400 Speaker 1: moment right now, don't please hit subscribe on the show, 1305 01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:04,120 Speaker 1: and if you like what you heard, take it a 1306 01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:07,160 Speaker 1: step further and give us a five star rating. Until 1307 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:09,280 Speaker 1: next time, you connect with me on i g at 1308 01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:13,040 Speaker 1: Debbie Brown or my website Debbie Brown dot com. Be blessed, 1309 01:13:13,760 --> 01:13:13,800 Speaker 1: H