1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:13,040 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHAVEYFM dot com and click 4 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: right here, right now, could be yours. Buckle up and 7 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,240 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you here. It 8 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,680 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you neew subjects. Is this 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: considered cheating or not? Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been in 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: a relationship for four years and my boyfriend and I 11 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: lived three hours apart. We've always been in a long 12 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: distance relationship and I thought everything was fine until recently 13 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: he started talking about marriage. After we date it two 14 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: years and he said he would gladly move to Philly 15 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: to be with me. I got all excited about marriage, 16 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: and I started preparing myself emotionally and financially to be 17 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: with him for the rest of my life. Then last 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: year he started saying that the distance was killing him 19 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: and sometimes he just wanted to lie next to me 20 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: and hold me until he goes to sleep, but he 21 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: can't because I lived so far away. I thought that 22 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: he would go ahead and propose, but he hasn't. I 23 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: started visiting him more, but he made excuses when it 24 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: was time to come see me a few times. I 25 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: didn't want us to grow apart, so I did whatever 26 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: I could to keep the sparks flying in the bedroom. 27 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: I was visiting him one weekend and there was a 28 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: towel on the back seat and I needed to put 29 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: groceries in the car. I picked up the towel and 30 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: it was this. It was crusty and stiff, and I 31 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: am no fool, so I know what it looked like. 32 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: I thought it was incredibly tacky of him to leave 33 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: it in the car, and no matter what that substance 34 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: was on it. I asked him about it, and he 35 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: confirmed my thoughts. He said he went out a week 36 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: or so before before I got there, and a female 37 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: friend of his helped him out orally. He said he 38 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: didn't return the favor to her, but she willingly did him. 39 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: He said, it's not like he cheated, and it helped 40 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: him out because he missed making love to me. I 41 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: was livid, and all he kept saying was he did 42 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: this for us, and it's not cheating. I have needs too, 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: but I've never had a quick hookup with my male friend. 44 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: Is this cheating or not? Should I break up with him? Yes? 45 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: Come on, this is really cheating. Did he actually fix 46 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: his mouth to say he did this for us? For 47 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: the both of you? If it has a word sex 48 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: in it, it's cheating. Okay, it is cheating. But I 49 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: don't understand this relationship anyway, I really don't. You're doing 50 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: everything and I thought you guys were getting married. What 51 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: happened to all of that? I thought he was moving 52 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,959 Speaker 1: to Philly? What happened? And what's taking so long? He 53 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: has no plans to move. He doesn't even talk about 54 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,639 Speaker 1: it anymore. You didn't even say if he's packing, if 55 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: he has a move in date? None of that. And 56 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 1: if you know, if a person is serious, he would 57 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:18,679 Speaker 1: certainly have proposed to you by now, where's your ring? 58 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: He didn't put a ring on it. And of course 59 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 1: the distance is a factor. That's why many times long 60 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 1: distance relationships don't work out. I mean, what happens when 61 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: you're a part Stuff like this happens. A woman in 62 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: your case, in his case, can come in and help 63 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: him out orally, as he says, you know when you're 64 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: a part, you don't know what he's doing. But I 65 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: guess you do know what he's doing now, And you 66 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: wouldn't have known anything if his stupid behind didn't leave 67 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: that nasty, old, crusty towel you in the backseat of 68 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: his car. How convenient, by the way, even after four years, 69 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: he still hasn't moved. He's playing with you, and he's 70 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: playing you, and now the trust has gone on your part. 71 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 1: So I say to you, go ahead and free yourself. 72 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: Free yourself so you can get with a new man 73 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: in your same city. All right, Steve, I cannot believe 74 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: what I just read. I just can't crazy. This don't 75 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,359 Speaker 1: make no damn sense. Okay, lady, you've been in a 76 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: relationship for years. Y'all live three hours apart, always been along, 77 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: just relationship you dated two years and signing he started 78 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: talking about Marridge. He gladly moved a feeling. You started 79 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 1: preparing yourself emotionally, financially, be with the rest of your life. 80 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 1: Then last year he started saying that the distance was 81 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,919 Speaker 1: killing him and sometimes he can't. He just wanted to 82 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: lie next to you and hold me till he go 83 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: to sleep. YadA, YadA, YadA yad. I thought he'd go 84 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: ahead and proposed, but he ain't. I started visiting him 85 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 1: more than he made excuse it with his time come 86 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: see me a few times. I didn't want us to 87 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: grow apart, so I did whatever I could do to 88 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: keep sparks flying in the bedroom. That means she was 89 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: in there doing monkey flips. Plus it's gymnasium equipment in now. 90 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,720 Speaker 1: I was visiting him one weekend and there was a tie. 91 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: Here's where the letter I need to comment on. I 92 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: was visiting him one weekend. That was a towel on 93 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: the back seat. I needed to put groceries in the car. 94 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: I picked up the tie and it was crusty and stiff. 95 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: I'm no fool. I know what it looked like. I 96 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: thought it was tacking of him leave it in the car, 97 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,119 Speaker 1: no matter what that substance was on it. I asked 98 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: him about it and he confirmed my thoughts. Wait a minute, 99 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: here's a woman who says, I picked up the tie, 100 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 1: it was crusty and still. I ain't no fool, So 101 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 1: I know what it looked like, and I thought was 102 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: tacking him leaving in a car, no matter what the 103 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: substance was on it. I asked him about it, and 104 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: he confirmed my thoughts. That was too much doubt what 105 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: it looked like, what I thought it was, just what 106 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: the substance could be. Why did you confirm half thoughts? 107 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: That's what this whole damn that is about. And when 108 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: I come back, this is all we gonna talk about. 109 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 1: Why All right, Steve, thank you Hang on to that 110 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: thought because we'll be back at twenty three minutes after 111 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: the hour with part two of your response today's Strawberry letter. 112 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: Subject Is this considered cheating or not? We'll get back 113 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening to show, all right, 114 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, it's time to recap today's Strawberry letter 115 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 1: thee Is this considered cheating or not? Here's a couple 116 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: that's been in a relationship. Quick recap, long just relationship. 117 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: He was talking about man for three years. He stopped 118 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: talking about it last year, talking about he missed her. 119 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: He just want to lie next to it to me 120 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: fall less league. So you didn't want the relationship to 121 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: go stale. You've been doing everything you can do in 122 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: the bedroom, keeping fresh, monkey flips, Jim Nask equipment apparatuss suitcases, luggage, lotions, 123 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: a oh, she all balanced, being uneven, parallel balls, ticklers, fellas, 124 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: handcuffs and meat house shoes. Everything is going on video 125 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: cam quarters also little people, monkeys. It's all in here. 126 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: And you visited him, and he would make excuses for 127 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: visiting you. I was visiting one weekend. There was a 128 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: tie on the back seat and I needed to put 129 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: the grocers in the car, picked up the tie. It 130 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: was crusty and still, I'm no fool, so I know 131 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: what it looked like. I thought it was tacking him 132 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: to leave it in the car, no matter what that 133 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: substance was on it. I asked him about it, and 134 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 1: this damned food confirmed my thoughts. She didn't accuse you 135 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: of anything. Boy, She asked you a question, what is 136 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:52,439 Speaker 1: this sticky, crusty stuff that's on this tie? Why in 137 00:08:52,640 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 1: the hell would you confirm her thoughts? Don't get won't 138 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: heal to lie? How that truth working out for him? 139 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: Right now? Now we're on the national radio show with 140 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: the damn truth. Listen to me, fool, stupid ass boy, 141 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: She said, I'm no fool. I know what it looked like. 142 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 1: That's doubt. I thought it was incredibly tacky of him 143 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: to leave it in the car. I thought, that's doubt. 144 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 1: No matter what the substance was, she still ain't called 145 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:41,120 Speaker 1: it nothing. It's just substance was that's doubt. I asked 146 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: him about it, that's no doubt, and then he confirmed 147 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: it with his stupid ass. He said he went out 148 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: on a week or so before I got there, and 149 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: a female friend of him helped him out orally. He 150 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: said he didn't return the favor to her, but she 151 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 1: willingly did him. He said, it's not like he cheated 152 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,240 Speaker 1: and it helped him out because he missed making love 153 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 1: to me. I was living, and all he kept saying 154 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: was that he did it for us, and it's not cheating. 155 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: I have needs to but I've never had a quick 156 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: hook up with my male friend. It is this cheating 157 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: or not? Should not break up with him? You could 158 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: have said that twe was anything except I wasted ice 159 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: cream on the back of that works? That works? Yes? 160 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: What is this on this towel that ain't a tie? 161 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: That is not a twe baby, that's wrapping paper, wrapping paper. 162 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: It's still and it's crunching. That's wrapping. It works, That's 163 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:58,000 Speaker 1: what you want. She don't know what it is. So 164 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: what we're gonna do is we're not gonna confirm her thoughts. Okay, 165 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: what is the substance on this towel? Darrel threw up 166 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: last week? Darrel threw up last week? Work Darrel? Why 167 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: are you throw it away? Why is it still in here? 168 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 1: I don't know? He's just back there, he was back there. 169 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: I don't even know it was back there. What are 170 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: you when you find us around? Islip? You know, Daryl, 171 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: what you're doing with Darrel's tie? All? I asked me again, 172 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: what is the substance on What is this? I don't 173 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,079 Speaker 1: know that's the dog's tie. You don't even have a dog, 174 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 1: Darrel got a dog, darl Darrel and his dog, Daryl's 175 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,959 Speaker 1: dog doing in the car that ain't I don't know? 176 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: Ask me what else to do the substance? What is this? 177 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: That's kind of wax? Darrel died and I was at 178 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: his visual and they had came. Yeah, asked me again, 179 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: what if I don't know that ain't my tie in 180 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: your car? The hell if I know that? Damn Darrel 181 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: probably before he died put it in there. Asked me again, 182 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: it is crusty and stiff. That's my mama's toilet. Seek 183 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:42,439 Speaker 1: cover asked me again, what that's and a freeze on 184 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: that tie. I used that tie to wax the car. 185 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: Any one of them? Yeah, except my girlfriend helped me. 186 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,800 Speaker 1: Or boy, your dumb ass all right. 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