Speaker 1: Find Down and radio podcast. What Up, Sarah? What? I
Speaker 1: just showed Mike the video? What video of Justin? And
Speaker 1: I was about to talk about it and he should?
Speaker 1: He goes, stop save it. I feel like we have
Speaker 1: to make shirts that say save it because we save everything.
Speaker 1: So real time is this? Is this like big news
Speaker 1: right in the social media world right now? I feel
Speaker 1: like they're trying to downplay it. Where is he at?
Speaker 1: He was on location filming, sorry to catch everyone up,
Speaker 1: justin Timberlake. There was a video of him and his
Speaker 1: co star and some other random lady who dragged him out.
Speaker 1: He was hammered. And I get and I've learned this
Speaker 1: from Sarah because Sarah, you texted me and you're like,
Speaker 1: did you see this Justin? Yeah? Okay, so continue what
Speaker 1: what happened? It's just a video of him on the
Speaker 1: balcony in New Orleans and he's like visibly visibly um
Speaker 1: been overserved and he's getting a little comfy with not
Speaker 1: his wife. My thing too, is like for what I'm
Speaker 1: like watching it and he's you know, he's sitting back.
Speaker 1: But if I were to have my hand like not
Speaker 1: just on the tip of his kneecap or not my
Speaker 1: husband's kneecap, not just it wasn't on the tip here,
Speaker 1: it was like right past the kneecap, were getting close
Speaker 1: of the hand, like if my hand was just chilling,
Speaker 1: let's just bless his come up with the name, what
Speaker 1: guy do we know? That's okay? Kevin McGarry, who we
Speaker 1: love He's been my husband in a few movies. If
Speaker 1: I was if you saw a video of me saying,
Speaker 1: who we love Kevin, he's amazing, You're like, if you
Speaker 1: saw me having a whole like holding his leg like that,
Speaker 1: would you be okay with that video? I didn't see
Speaker 1: her like have her No, video was just a snippet.
Speaker 1: There are pictures of them holding hands under the table,
Speaker 1: like there are pictures of them like interlocked hands like
Speaker 1: um like this, you know, like a And here's the
Speaker 1: thing that I'll say that I I hold hands, and
Speaker 1: I've learned my lesson with that. But I have held
Speaker 1: hands with people that weren't my partner, not what I'm
Speaker 1: with you, not since you. But that's a lesson that
Speaker 1: I've learned from me. I love to hold hands. Catherine,
Speaker 1: who's listening to this, she knows I'm always trying to
Speaker 1: hold her hands. I love holding hands. I think it's
Speaker 1: fun and I would hold like I would I I
Speaker 1: held Kevin's hand, I think, not like lan Set never mind,
Speaker 1: let me trying to think. Um, I would hold like
Speaker 1: my guitar players hands like maybe, but again it was wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm saying it's wrong because it's just it's just wrong.
Speaker 1: It's just weird, and like it's because of them are odd,
Speaker 1: Like it's just odd. Well, and it's just because again
Speaker 1: you're you're putting yourself in a situation of basically like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're inviting the next step if there's a next step,
Speaker 1: and listen. Yeah. The only thing I'll say, just from
Speaker 1: watching the video again, I didn't see like the pictures
Speaker 1: you're talking about, Sarah. Just from watching the video, I
Speaker 1: can see it would holding my hand like that on
Speaker 1: someone's leg. No. But what I'm saying is we've all
Speaker 1: been not we all because Jane has never been drunk.
Speaker 1: But like for example of this, look at right there
Speaker 1: hanging like that, Okay, Janna showing me the picture right now,
Speaker 1: I mean her forearms on his leg like her hands,
Speaker 1: not like I'm not saying, I'm not saying I think.
Speaker 1: I definitely think it's a little fishy. All I'm saying
Speaker 1: is the fact that you can see him as physically impearance.
Speaker 1: That's what. But just listen to me for a second.
Speaker 1: We've had those moments, Sarah, myself in the US of
Speaker 1: the world except for Jana, have at this moment where
Speaker 1: you just a little too lushy, right, You're just kind
Speaker 1: of like, hey, I love you, you know, like you
Speaker 1: kind of put your hand on a on a girlfriend
Speaker 1: or a guy friend. You just like he was the
Speaker 1: best You're my best friend. I love you so much,
Speaker 1: and just like a little overly affectionate. So I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that that was happening in that video, but just
Speaker 1: seeing how drunk he was. Who knows what was being said,
Speaker 1: who knows the story, And all I'm saying is there's
Speaker 1: a little bit of a room somewhere in there for
Speaker 1: that that was most compta Kevin's hand at a bar.
Speaker 1: Would you be upset, Well, that's just weird. But if
Speaker 1: you think it's crossing a line. But if I saw,
Speaker 1: if I came in, and I would be upset if
Speaker 1: you were holding Sarah's hand and bar when I wasn't there,
Speaker 1: I would holding my hand Okay, let me phrase this though.
Speaker 1: If I watched him a bar and I saw you
Speaker 1: and Kevin, and I saw Kevin like with his arm
Speaker 1: around you, that's different. But I don't think that we're
Speaker 1: not confirming if Jessica um his wife, even knows who
Speaker 1: this girl is. So like you're you're you're saying like
Speaker 1: I was one of my friends. I don't think this
Speaker 1: woman is their friend. Let's just say it's a random
Speaker 1: actor that i'm I'm acting with, and mostly pictures of
Speaker 1: me holding his hand, you're not a chance. I'm mostly
Speaker 1: I would mostly be concerned at how drunk he was
Speaker 1: because that just did not look right. And that was
Speaker 1: not assuming that Jessica doesn't know who she is. That's
Speaker 1: all I'm saying. Okay, so I think, okay, So if
Speaker 1: it was someone that you didn't know, you'd be upset.
Speaker 1: If I was holding his hand or if I was
Speaker 1: touching his leg like that, you'd be upset. But if
Speaker 1: it's someone that we know, I'm allowed to do that
Speaker 1: not that allowed to But again, I can understand how
Speaker 1: how people are, just like like if you walked in
Speaker 1: and I had my like, my arm around Sarah for
Speaker 1: a second, like and I was like town or something
Speaker 1: funny or whatever, and like that was it not like
Speaker 1: we're sitting there and I like I have my arm
Speaker 1: like around her back forge they said they they came
Speaker 1: out today and said, oh they're like brother and sister.
Speaker 1: I promise you Tay and a sister are not touching
Speaker 1: each other like that. So that's it's just all odd,
Speaker 1: Like it's just odd. Well, Jessica Bill has an air
Speaker 1: tight Uh yeah, basically because I think there might have
Speaker 1: been some cheating before, because I know in her marital stuff.
Speaker 1: It's if if basically he cheats like she gets everything. Well,
Speaker 1: let's not forget let's go back a couple of years.
Speaker 1: I'm I could be wrong. I'll let me pull it
Speaker 1: up on us weekly, but I'm pretty sure's I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure he cheated on Brittany and she cheated on him
Speaker 1: as well, but she really got the brunt of it
Speaker 1: because you know, that's just more fun to blame her.
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure he cheated on Jessica before they
Speaker 1: were married. So well, yeah, that was yeah, that's all
Speaker 1: because they broke up I think because of it. I think,
Speaker 1: and which adds again, you're putting yourself in a position,
Speaker 1: and I think that's so like things that I've learned,
Speaker 1: Like I know, I cannot read lines with an acting
Speaker 1: person in the hotel room or go out one on.
Speaker 1: It's just it's not healthy. It's not it doesn't it's
Speaker 1: gonna end up bad in most certain most most. You know,
Speaker 1: if Kevin came over again, it's different because I know him.
Speaker 1: You you trust him, we know him together. But if
Speaker 1: it's someone you know, I booked a movie with some
Speaker 1: guy that we don't we both don't know, and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm like, yeah, he's he's over. And
Speaker 1: then you see photos of us that come out and
Speaker 1: we're holding hands and I'm on my hand is on
Speaker 1: his leg. For one second that you would be fine
Speaker 1: with that all I was like, not one bit, because
Speaker 1: I mean, what would you do, Sarah. Let me just
Speaker 1: make it clear. They said, oh, they're friends, they were
Speaker 1: just having fun. If that's what having friends and fun is,
Speaker 1: T will be having none of it because that's not happening.
Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, oh yeah, I know. So I
Speaker 1: just we had to bring that up first, because Mark,
Speaker 1: what is your thoughts? Since you're you know, older and
Speaker 1: wiser than all, I'm blown away by all this stuff. Honestly,
Speaker 1: because when I first heard about it and I heard this,
Speaker 1: I heard the I guess I heard it on the
Speaker 1: radio because I heard about it, and then I heard
Speaker 1: the statement that was given, and I thought, that's the
Speaker 1: worst statement I can imagine them giving. I needed to
Speaker 1: get more creative, Like they're running lines, they're in character. Character.
Speaker 1: Would you didn't see they can't like something a little
Speaker 1: bit more creative? But then you look at the video
Speaker 1: and he's so hammered that I realized none of those
Speaker 1: excuses would have felt like I was watching a movie
Speaker 1: when I was watching him, how how um not well
Speaker 1: he was? Because I was like, is he like, damn
Speaker 1: joking to be drunk? If that's he was, he was
Speaker 1: nearly coma to us. So married people need to have
Speaker 1: a limit when they're drinking without their spouse. They just
Speaker 1: have to. I know it's too far to say they
Speaker 1: shouldn't drink without their spouse. That's a little bit too
Speaker 1: out there, a little too Mike Pens for everybody, But
Speaker 1: I think you do need to have a cap because
Speaker 1: you should never be in that condition. Because he could
Speaker 1: have done anything, he wouldn't remember it. The next day exactly.
Speaker 1: And also I looked up her the prenup, but it's
Speaker 1: not exactly what we thought it was. It says here
Speaker 1: that in the prenup, if he cheats on her, he
Speaker 1: needs to pay her five hundred thousand dollars. He's worth
Speaker 1: two thirty million dollars. That seems like not a great
Speaker 1: deal for Jessica Bee. Interesting. Yeah, yeah, I would have
Speaker 1: asked for a lot more than that. I also think
Speaker 1: this is the first um indication and a year and
Speaker 1: a half from now when they announced their split, well,
Speaker 1: I'll remember this moment. I couldn't agree with you more. Well,
Speaker 1: let's hope that they don't, because let's hope that this
Speaker 1: is you know, they can work through this. I just
Speaker 1: want to know who the lady dragging his drunk but
Speaker 1: out of the bar was the other lady? Yeah, they
Speaker 1: said it was with her that looked like like a handler. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like a PR person or someone on his team. If
Speaker 1: you watch the video, there's certain parts where there's like
Speaker 1: a security looking type guy blocking them, so like you
Speaker 1: can't really quite see him. So like, well, bottom line
Speaker 1: is as we like to go full circle, right sure,
Speaker 1: Like Mark said, if you're married, you shouldn't be having
Speaker 1: that much at a bar, especially without your spouse present,
Speaker 1: and probably best not to be holding Yeah, not your
Speaker 1: spouse's hand and have someone else be grabbing you in touch.
Speaker 1: And that's on her, right because he's so blitz he
Speaker 1: doesn't know whose hand he was holding. That's on her.
Speaker 1: She needs in the Yeah, I wouldn't put the blat
Speaker 1: because maybe something else happened before. So it's that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It feels like she can do that. This is ongoing,
Speaker 1: you know, So I wouldn't want to put the blame
Speaker 1: just on her because she probably feels like she can
Speaker 1: do that to him. Oh boy, that's true. Blame on her.
Speaker 1: We're just saying that there takes two to tango. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know I even used the word blame, and I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have. That was the wrong word to use. But
Speaker 1: I feel like she should be more aware of the
Speaker 1: public nature of what she was doing. Nobody's evening about them,
Speaker 1: but time out though not to be This is just
Speaker 1: me calling. You know, who is she? Oh, she's she's
Speaker 1: a co star in the in the film he's doing right,
Speaker 1: But is she very well known? I mean, is she
Speaker 1: not to me? Not to me? I'm just saying, maybe
Speaker 1: she was doing trying to advance her career too. I
Speaker 1: was going to say, do you think people actually have
Speaker 1: that one percent? Sucks? But if that's the case, it's just,
Speaker 1: you know, with all the me too stuff, it just
Speaker 1: makes you question, that's all. I'm confused. I kind of
Speaker 1: got lost like two minutes ago. Basically, was she being
Speaker 1: an opportunistic oh, because like her pictures are being taken
Speaker 1: and this will gain her following. That's interesting. I mean
Speaker 1: the movie that I'm just I just like to play
Speaker 1: Devil's advocate. So here we go with the comments. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, and I'm I'm actually on her side.
Speaker 1: I think she when I'm just saying, I think she's
Speaker 1: you know, but she shouldn't have been touching him if
Speaker 1: he's a veried man like that. Both parties are wrong anyways. Jessica, Jessica,
Speaker 1: she's a bad bitch and I'm here for her lesson learns.
Speaker 1: Don't get drunk and go to a bar, hold hands
Speaker 1: and get hands in New Orleans. And I honestly I
Speaker 1: don't want to wrap this up, but like Jessica Bielle,
Speaker 1: like she could beat you up, like she's fit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she can mess you up. Like, I feel like she's
Speaker 1: a strong. She seems like a real strong woman. I
Speaker 1: think i'd be terrified of her if she seen her angry.
Speaker 1: Why I don't know. Well, I mean she's just like
Speaker 1: she's like, she's she's strong, she works out, she's built,
Speaker 1: she's she's powerful, you know. I just I just feel
Speaker 1: like she could get me. Oh a woman, watch out here,
Speaker 1: like if Sara. If Sarah tried to get me, and
Speaker 1: I'll kind of laugh, Oh no, you would not. You
Speaker 1: don't know her very well, come on to me, I would, Well,
Speaker 1: what happens and I get me? Are you scared of me?
Speaker 1: I'm ten years old. Yeah. Anyways, that's how we started
Speaker 1: the show today. So next week on the pop Culture podcast. Sorry,
Speaker 1: you know, I had just come home from getting my
Speaker 1: lashes done. And by the way, guys, I drove on
Speaker 1: the expressway today the entire way home, so thank you
Speaker 1: massive panic. Only thought about pulling over once, you know,
Speaker 1: I called. I was on the phone, was talking to
Speaker 1: Leslie and we were just talking about life and stuff
Speaker 1: and I was like, um mo, on my way back
Speaker 1: to the podcast. It's gonna be fun. We're gonna talk
Speaker 1: about I don't know, and then I remember the video
Speaker 1: that you didn't see. So that's how it started. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, let's take a break and then
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Speaker 1: So last week, you know, we did the songs we
Speaker 1: talked by the way, Sarah was mortified because she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I realized that I sang Taylor Swift, Like why was
Speaker 1: I singing I don't want underd Do you forget that
Speaker 1: a lot of people listen to this? Yeah? Actually I did,
Speaker 1: and that lot of people were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're a song like, oh my god, remember high school?
Speaker 1: And like, yeah, okay, let's not Did anyone gets through Janna, No,
Speaker 1: that's a good question. No, but you told me that
Speaker 1: people were texting you. I think one person, no one.
Speaker 1: One of my friends is like, hey, is that who
Speaker 1: you were talking about? And I said yeah, I had
Speaker 1: like multiple d ms with like this man's name, and
Speaker 1: I was like, what's happening like And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh do people now? People guessed it on my end.
Speaker 1: So along with that time, I just had me thinking
Speaker 1: along with that topic and is there and we don't
Speaker 1: have to we don't have to go in depth about
Speaker 1: just maybe something food for thought. Is there anyone out
Speaker 1: there like in your life that basically you want to
Speaker 1: make amends to, you know what I mean, like somebody
Speaker 1: that sticks. No, just had me thinking about it. Yes
Speaker 1: you go first, honey, No we don't. I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying we don't have to say names. But it's
Speaker 1: just one of those things that had me thinking and no,
Speaker 1: you can go first, because no, you can go first.
Speaker 1: We made you want to go first last time. What's
Speaker 1: the appropriate um boundaries within that, like making amends to
Speaker 1: somebody who do you want to make amends too? Well,
Speaker 1: that's part of my step work anyway. Yes, that's a
Speaker 1: nice step. So but I'm just saying I didn't. There's
Speaker 1: sure there's people in my past in life. Are you saying, like,
Speaker 1: is there someone that we would want to make amends
Speaker 1: to romantically that like now that we're all in other
Speaker 1: partnerships that it's not like respectful to make amends or
Speaker 1: just anyone in general. Anyone in general. It could be
Speaker 1: a past relationship, it could be a friend, it could
Speaker 1: be a family member, someone you have wronged in the past,
Speaker 1: someone you have wronged, or someone that you've had a
Speaker 1: falling out with, or basically to own your part. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean, that's a good question. I know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, how many people have wronged meat? No? Um,
Speaker 1: I feel like all the people that I felt I've
Speaker 1: wronged or I don't really like wrong but the people
Speaker 1: I've had falling out with, I feel like we've mm hmm.
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe I'm kind of our swept on it,
Speaker 1: not like swept under the rug, but maybe kind of
Speaker 1: dealt like I had. I'm trying to think. This is
Speaker 1: kind of hard, like do either of you have someone
Speaker 1: in mine? Because I'm like kind of I'm like, I
Speaker 1: feel like Michael does. He just doesn't want to say
Speaker 1: because it might be a pass from mentor too sure.
Speaker 1: There's definitely people in my past that, like I think
Speaker 1: back and I wasn't the greatest person, and I who
Speaker 1: I am now would love to apologize for that. I mean,
Speaker 1: who doesn't have people like that that you know to
Speaker 1: go back because no one owns their stuff when they're
Speaker 1: in those that kind of age age like early twenties,
Speaker 1: mid twenty I means all that no one owns it.
Speaker 1: But even for me, it's like I have a family member,
Speaker 1: my uncle, that I had a falling out with that
Speaker 1: like there's a whole wedding backstory and all of that.
Speaker 1: But for me, you know, I held on and I'm
Speaker 1: not one to hold onto grudges, but I held onto
Speaker 1: it for a long time. I'm kind to the point
Speaker 1: now where I'm like, you know what, enough about focusing
Speaker 1: on what maybe he needs to own or what he
Speaker 1: should apologize for. Maybe I just addressed it and say like, hey,
Speaker 1: I miss you and I'm sorry for this situation. Can
Speaker 1: I just say something because it's I get so with
Speaker 1: that situation because I know how much that hurt you,
Speaker 1: and I get that, and I think that's really amazing
Speaker 1: that you want to do that. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: what if he doesn't own the fact that he's like,
Speaker 1: I should have showed up and that was ridiculous because
Speaker 1: you know those people they should not have been invited
Speaker 1: because of what your list was, and like that was
Speaker 1: that's just the fact that he didn't show up. We
Speaker 1: told the story that bad. No, I'm just wondering, basically,
Speaker 1: the gist of it, without going into long details, is Janna,
Speaker 1: you know at your wedding you have to draw the
Speaker 1: line somewhere. Janna and I decided, based on the forces
Speaker 1: in our family on both sides and all this, we're
Speaker 1: not going to invite step cousins. Okay, so step cousins
Speaker 1: were not blood related to, but related to via marriage.
Speaker 1: And then we had a handful on both sides, like
Speaker 1: at least like probably a dozen between both sides of
Speaker 1: the family. So like, man, that's like at least one table,
Speaker 1: if not more. So, like all right, we're gonna stop
Speaker 1: at step cousins. And basically, you know, it caused a
Speaker 1: riff of my uncle and his new wife and her
Speaker 1: children from a previous marriage. And long story short, he
Speaker 1: didn't end up coming. He said he was going to come.
Speaker 1: He's like, I wouldn't miss this for the world. And
Speaker 1: no matter what I told, and he didn't even know
Speaker 1: he maybe hung out with them one time. I've never
Speaker 1: met them. And again, like we we were paying for
Speaker 1: our wedding. We it was like we had to draw
Speaker 1: I was like, like eighty people I think was ours
Speaker 1: our limit. And he didn't even know them, like he
Speaker 1: met them once a couple of times, but not Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's not like it was some I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not inviting some of my closest friends because we had
Speaker 1: to draw the line. And or actually blood some blood relative.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying people I would have loved to have
Speaker 1: had there, and even like family members, I would have
Speaker 1: loved to have had certain family members there, and continued on,
Speaker 1: like Natalie, you know, other people that I would have
Speaker 1: loved to have had. But again, I'm like, I've never
Speaker 1: met them. He's he's out with them a couple of times,
Speaker 1: and they're older kids. So it's just we're like, like,
Speaker 1: the wife felt that she had to that they should
Speaker 1: have been invited, and so she kind of said, we're
Speaker 1: not coming, yeah, and so he ended up not coming
Speaker 1: to the wedding and I and what hurt for Mike
Speaker 1: was because that was his closest family member and he
Speaker 1: was you were so upset about it, and so the
Speaker 1: fact that and I love your heart and you wanting
Speaker 1: to make that amends. But at the same time, it's like,
Speaker 1: is he not going to own up for the fact
Speaker 1: that was a messed up? So how long? So what
Speaker 1: was that? Five six years ago? It'll be five years.
Speaker 1: I think for me it's because I've held onto it
Speaker 1: for you know, four plus years, and interactions between us
Speaker 1: and them have been very uncomfortable and very awkward and
Speaker 1: it's like the elephant in the room. And that's my
Speaker 1: fault because I'm not. I don't. I don't like that
Speaker 1: she did that to him. I think that's so wrong
Speaker 1: that she wanted to invite him, and honestly, because they do,
Speaker 1: they wanted to be at that wedding because sorry not
Speaker 1: to call us, you know, not to call it what
Speaker 1: it is. But you know, Sarah, you're going through that
Speaker 1: right now. I totally at the Gretzky wedding, totally agree.
Speaker 1: If it was if he was married and whatever, if
Speaker 1: it wasn't them, they wouldn't have cared. It's just the truth.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't have It's the unfortunate thing about some people
Speaker 1: in our position of being known somehow that you unfortunately
Speaker 1: you get jade and kind of have to take that
Speaker 1: into consideration. It's like, what's someone's true motivation? So I
Speaker 1: probably have not been the nice one. I think we
Speaker 1: saw them at a football game of jobs, and you know,
Speaker 1: I probably wasn't nice to her. But I want to
Speaker 1: be like, that was rude. Will it hurt you because
Speaker 1: it hurt him, you know, and let you check that
Speaker 1: you carry that And so now I'm taking and I
Speaker 1: don't want you to not that that's just anyways. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: but it's a very passionate about this too, because I
Speaker 1: know I hurt you. I get I get where both
Speaker 1: of you are coming from. Yeah. For me, I think
Speaker 1: I'm just finally to the point of, like, you know what,
Speaker 1: even to answer your question, honey, even if he didn't
Speaker 1: you stay back to me. You know what I told
Speaker 1: you I was going to be there. I wasn't there.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Like, even if you didn't, I can't. I
Speaker 1: can't take that one. It's just like what we talked about,
Speaker 1: cleaning your shot out of the street, right. All I
Speaker 1: can do is make my amends, even tho I didn't
Speaker 1: do anything wrong, but just say just to just basically
Speaker 1: speak my truth and say, hey, just hurt me, I
Speaker 1: miss you. We're always really really really close. He was
Speaker 1: my closest relative outside to like my family out of
Speaker 1: all my aunt uncle was like closest everything. And so
Speaker 1: even if you don't think you're carrying it, you are.
Speaker 1: And so for me, it's like I just kind of
Speaker 1: want to like get the negative as selfish as it is,
Speaker 1: like I just kind of want the vibes out. So
Speaker 1: it's like if I know, I you know, ended it
Speaker 1: or pieced it up. It's like, okay the end. You know,
Speaker 1: if he does and you have that same relationship with
Speaker 1: the other person doesn't clean clean their side of the street,
Speaker 1: I guess that's that's the question. I think. If they don't,
Speaker 1: it's still that's sure, it won't be the same as
Speaker 1: connected as you would hope it would be. But at
Speaker 1: least I can be free of any grudge. And again,
Speaker 1: I'm not one to hold grudge it, I'm really not.
Speaker 1: But at least I can let go of my the
Speaker 1: grudge I have against against him or the situation and
Speaker 1: just let it go. You know what I think four
Speaker 1: and a half years ago it is. I do think
Speaker 1: that time it's like a blessing anti curse. But as
Speaker 1: time goes on, you're kind of like, I want to
Speaker 1: be this mad because it really hurt me. But then
Speaker 1: you're also like, do I really care anymore? I'm kind
Speaker 1: of over, you know, so I can see how, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, what is the appropriate time to let something go?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, I mean, even even when we're
Speaker 1: discussing this, and and and if you out there listening,
Speaker 1: anyone that's gone through their wedding and or playing currently
Speaker 1: planning a wedding, and we understand, I mean, no one
Speaker 1: goes through and plans it, Sarah and not has to
Speaker 1: deal with some of this. And my parents said, my
Speaker 1: parents are trying to like mitigate all of it and say, look,
Speaker 1: we'll pay for the extra because they knew we were
Speaker 1: paying for our own wedding. We'll pay for the extra seats.
Speaker 1: And we're like, it's not about the seats, it's about
Speaker 1: the principle. We're like, it's not. No, it's not about that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like I trust me, I mean I yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, it's not about you. It's one day. It's
Speaker 1: not about you, right, But that's tough. And here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Have we seen them since, like the daughters or whatever,
Speaker 1: not once? And we never will because we're never We don't.
Speaker 1: They don't go to things, they don't go to the
Speaker 1: same functions that we go to our family stuff. So again, Salt, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean, but if that's on your heart, then
Speaker 1: you should Mike. Yeah, we gotta say, uncle, Mark. But
Speaker 1: it sounds like the person in the wrong here. If
Speaker 1: there was an arbitrator that looked at both sides of this.
Speaker 1: It might be the other person might not be You
Speaker 1: may be the other person. How do you make amends
Speaker 1: when they are the ones at fault. That seems like
Speaker 1: a weird maneuver to me. If you're wrong, it's somebody
Speaker 1: that's different. But I don't know that you did here, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't and and and making amends you're right is
Speaker 1: more about owning your stuff. But for me, it's it's
Speaker 1: clearing the air. I'm making amends about just clearing the
Speaker 1: air has been unspoken tension well, and your relationship changed drastically, drastically,
Speaker 1: so for me just to basically address it and say, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sorry that we didn't end up inviting them,
Speaker 1: but I miss you and I get that I told
Speaker 1: now that you put it like that. Maybe for somebody
Speaker 1: that's stubborn, which my parents families both are, especially my
Speaker 1: dad's side of the family, who are very stubborn and
Speaker 1: don't like to talk about feelings and emotions. I basically
Speaker 1: learned how to not talk about emotions by observing my
Speaker 1: entire dad's side of the family. So for stubborn people
Speaker 1: who don't like to talk about it, maybe he just
Speaker 1: needs me to address it. Yeah, sometimes you just have
Speaker 1: to be at the end of the day. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta do what's right for you, and I'll always support
Speaker 1: you at the end of the day. I just I'll
Speaker 1: keep my feelings to myself then because you know, I'm Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's your relationship that you need to treasure and hold
Speaker 1: and if you're ready for that, then you know, you
Speaker 1: do whatever you feel in your heart that you have
Speaker 1: to do with that. But I just still don't think
Speaker 1: you did anything wrong or we did anything wrong. Then
Speaker 1: you Yeah, but you miss that relationship and I and
Speaker 1: I get that when it comes to family, So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's tough. When your family is tough. I feel like
Speaker 1: with friends or with relationships, sometimes you just want to
Speaker 1: make them is just to clear your soul in your
Speaker 1: spirit and not really for a friendship or for that relationship,
Speaker 1: but just kind of make yourself feel like you know,
Speaker 1: Jane has definitely done that. What You've definitely like connected
Speaker 1: with people, were reached out to people that were either
Speaker 1: friendemies or acquaintances or even or even friends in the
Speaker 1: past that ended up doing something wrong. You You you
Speaker 1: have a very forgiving heart. I do not like to
Speaker 1: have bad energy out there. I don't like it at all.
Speaker 1: I don't like I just I don't like it. Um
Speaker 1: there's been only one person that will not it will
Speaker 1: not speak to me. But that's fine, and that's their
Speaker 1: right and it's totally fine. Internally, is like, why, well,
Speaker 1: I just I just don't like negative energy. I don't
Speaker 1: like it at all. But and I just I just
Speaker 1: like to have that like you said, you want that space.
Speaker 1: Even though I didn't technically wrong some of those people,
Speaker 1: but it's just having good energy out there. And I
Speaker 1: mean that again, your side of the street is clean,
Speaker 1: and it's you did the best you could be as
Speaker 1: the person that our pastor talks about, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the reason I even kind of brought this up
Speaker 1: obviously based on the song thing we talked about last week,
Speaker 1: but just going into the holiday season, I mean, you're
Speaker 1: seeing family you haven't seen, you haven't seen, You're seeing
Speaker 1: people and friends and family that you maybe don't want
Speaker 1: to see. But all you can do is control how
Speaker 1: you feel, and you're the environment around you. So it's like,
Speaker 1: why not just go in and just own it and
Speaker 1: just say hey, I'm here, let's have a good time.
Speaker 1: And that's kind of what made me think about that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have a very forgiving and that's so positive
Speaker 1: and that's no insame because when he says that, I'm like,
Speaker 1: and you know what I want to say to the woman,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thanks for coming to dinner. Where are the
Speaker 1: kids that you've got so upset about not them coming
Speaker 1: to our wedding, but yet they don't come to anything else.
Speaker 1: I think that this is this is not a good thing.
Speaker 1: But for me, I think I just like, I go silent,
Speaker 1: and then I just hope that like years later, you know,
Speaker 1: because I don't think I've ever had like a real
Speaker 1: falling out, but I just kind of like stop and
Speaker 1: then it becomes mutual and then it's like okay. I
Speaker 1: think though too, and especially like there's relationships in my
Speaker 1: pasture what I love to go back and say, like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I've ever had publicly I apologize, but I
Speaker 1: think and I know that, and I know Mike wants
Speaker 1: you to and I know, but I think it's one
Speaker 1: of those things where you know, this is kind of
Speaker 1: the platform to say, you know, you're sorry. And at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, when we're younger, you were
Speaker 1: going through so much stuff. People change and people grow
Speaker 1: and I don't hold on. I'm not mad at certain
Speaker 1: x Is anymore because the way they know me, it's
Speaker 1: just I know that they were in their space and
Speaker 1: that was what they were going through. You know, if
Speaker 1: you had mends of people that you know you date,
Speaker 1: it it's more of just they know that you were
Speaker 1: messed up everyone like they know that you're sorry. You
Speaker 1: know that that we we all grow up and we
Speaker 1: all change, and if not, you don't owe it to
Speaker 1: them anymore. It's more about you. You owe it to
Speaker 1: yourself and the people that this is actually changed. A
Speaker 1: wait now that you brought this up, because now I'm
Speaker 1: thinking and like, I mean, I probably should. But the
Speaker 1: girl who introduced me and Ty, she was one of
Speaker 1: my best friends and she was one of my absolute
Speaker 1: best friends. She introduced me and Tight. We are not speaking.
Speaker 1: We haven't spoken five years, but now that we're getting married.
Speaker 1: It's actually crazy. We had I wouldn't say of falling
Speaker 1: out because it just kind of stopped, um, both of us.
Speaker 1: And it's crazy because you know, that's someone I could
Speaker 1: be like, you know, whatever the f went down, neither
Speaker 1: of us probably know, but like thanks because I'm marrying him,
Speaker 1: so it's weird things like that. But it's not like
Speaker 1: we had some like crazy falling out. It just sometimes,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard. It's hard to keep friends, especially
Speaker 1: when you started it. Yeah, hashtag no new friends none ever,
Speaker 1: It's so hard. Yeah, wild I think we have a
Speaker 1: special guest on hold waiting for us, So I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Let's take a break and then we'll get her on
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Speaker 1: down at checkout. Don't you look at my text messages.
Speaker 1: Mike's trying to steal on my phone over here, Sarah. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm really excited um to have this beautiful
Speaker 1: soul back on. So Emily Giffen was a guest on
Speaker 1: our Atlanta podcast and I shouldn't say podcast Evening with
Speaker 1: on wine Down and she was incredible and I was
Speaker 1: so obsessed with her. But we have Emily Giffen on theline.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, party again. We're back. I missed you so much. Oh,
Speaker 1: I miss you so much. And I had so many
Speaker 1: comments because a lot of people think that our wind Down,
Speaker 1: you know, Evening With show is recorded and it's it's
Speaker 1: not it's kind of just a very special intimate place,
Speaker 1: you know, where we you know, have sometimes have guests.
Speaker 1: And when I knew that I was in Atlanta, I
Speaker 1: was like, we have to get Emily, like she's you
Speaker 1: know how much I've been obsessed with you for quite
Speaker 1: a while now, Um, but we just had so much
Speaker 1: fun with you, and I just was like, Okay, now
Speaker 1: now the podcast wind downers need to hear everything and more.
Speaker 1: We covered so many topics, so many you all always
Speaker 1: do though, you guys just go you run the gamuts.
Speaker 1: It's so awesome, but we really did cover a lot
Speaker 1: from the royal Um, we're going to get into all that.
Speaker 1: But for those of you, so, how many best time
Speaker 1: sellers twelve, ten, eleven, Oh you know, I wish nine
Speaker 1: and I'm working on my tenth right now as we speak.
Speaker 1: So this is an awesome break from my writing today. So, um,
Speaker 1: you have a book coming out, The Lies That Bind.
Speaker 1: It's now available for pre order at Emily Giffen dot com.
Speaker 1: But Something Borrowed was the first movie that has now
Speaker 1: been turned into well the first book that turned to
Speaker 1: a movie. Um, who who did you think played? Was
Speaker 1: spot on with that um with that book. Character was
Speaker 1: the description of Darcy in the book, like she's supposed
Speaker 1: to have dark hair, and you know when they said
Speaker 1: Kate huss and I'm like, no, she's totally not. She did.
Speaker 1: That's like not who I picture at all. But she
Speaker 1: really nailed it. She nailed it that so much that
Speaker 1: like it makes me wander I mean, I got to
Speaker 1: know her a little bit, but you know not, it
Speaker 1: makes me wonder if like she is sort of a Darthy.
Speaker 1: You know, she's one thousand percent Darcy a thousand percent.
Speaker 1: But I I have to be honest because I remember
Speaker 1: because I've never ever read a book that went into
Speaker 1: a movie ever, and people never understood why people got
Speaker 1: so upset about certain characters that were casted, because you know,
Speaker 1: I'm like, how, like why who cares? If this person is?
Speaker 1: Who cares of Jennifer? In your mind? You like see them?
Speaker 1: You know? Well, and that's why, like when something Borrowed
Speaker 1: came out, I was like, Jennifer Goodwin is not Rachel.
Speaker 1: I had the hardest I was like Darcy, Kate Hudson,
Speaker 1: that was spot on, But I have had the hardest
Speaker 1: time being like that's not Rachel, it's not. And eventually,
Speaker 1: now that I've watched it over and over and over again,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, you can see the aspects of Rachel
Speaker 1: and her, but it's just it's it was just so crazy. Okay,
Speaker 1: So who would you who would you affect? And you
Speaker 1: all have your wish because where they're there when they
Speaker 1: do we're gonna do something Blue, and they're recast because
Speaker 1: everyone's everyone's like too old now, we're all too old now,
Speaker 1: but they're they're they're too old to play these characters.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, so wasn't it wasn't Kate Hudson actually supposed to.
Speaker 1: Were you guys supposed to do something Blue a while back? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We were. And then it just you know how those
Speaker 1: things happen the side of the business, like it got
Speaker 1: held up, and then you know, the main pretty ters
Speaker 1: Molly Smith left um Alcohn and now she's with Black Label,
Speaker 1: like her own production company, and so you know, we
Speaker 1: want to make it together. We have a script and
Speaker 1: we're actually working on some other things that I know.
Speaker 1: It texts you the next day, I'm like, I am
Speaker 1: determined to work together because there's more adapting three other
Speaker 1: ones as we speak. We have three scripts, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: Janna Companus, Oh, I would die. Who was who was?
Speaker 1: Actually to give us a little back, like a little
Speaker 1: scoop from something borrowed? Who was supposed to? Like? Who
Speaker 1: were you thinking about having play Rachel? Okay, so gosh,
Speaker 1: this is like a while back now, but the first
Speaker 1: person that we I don't even know if I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to say this, but who care? People people talk about
Speaker 1: this stuff all the time, like who would have had
Speaker 1: the role? Like, yeah, I'm like, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: really don't Rachel McAdams. I think the first offer Rachel.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she totally would have been Rachel. Why
Speaker 1: you might could go her on and ask her about it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wish you, Like why did you pass on that movie? Wow?
Speaker 1: And so I think Jennifer Goodwin was was second um.
Speaker 1: And I think there are some things that Jenny Like
Speaker 1: what didn't you like about Jenny and that role? Like
Speaker 1: did you think she was like cute? Sweet? Because her
Speaker 1: face too sweet to such a sweet face Jane. Jane
Speaker 1: is a little bliss because she's not a big thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just have never been a big fan of her work.
Speaker 1: I had just have one of those interactions where she
Speaker 1: wasn't like, just wasn't very kind. So that kind of
Speaker 1: broke my heart. I just I loved Rachel so much,
Speaker 1: so when you see someone that you don't naturally love love,
Speaker 1: it's hard to then with the character that Look, when
Speaker 1: I talked about this a little bit, I think in
Speaker 1: the dream room, but what does the deal with so
Speaker 1: many actresses being like just bitches? No? It's true though,
Speaker 1: because we were well and how we got talking about
Speaker 1: this was we were talking about the Royals because I
Speaker 1: thought that she was a fan of Megan Markel, and
Speaker 1: I've heard so many rumors that she's not a nice
Speaker 1: person and so the me and so I thought that
Speaker 1: Emily was a fan of Megan's. But I've just heard
Speaker 1: so much about her and the friends and how she's
Speaker 1: treated like the crew and on certain things, and that
Speaker 1: just really bummed me out to hear that. Hopefully that's
Speaker 1: not the case, but when you hear a lot of them,
Speaker 1: I've heard those things too, Janna, Like, you're you're your celebrity.
Speaker 1: Like what I always say about no matter how famous
Speaker 1: of an author you are, you're automatically like a de lister.
Speaker 1: But I have enough um overlapped in sort of some
Speaker 1: of those worlds. So I've heard the same things, and
Speaker 1: it's I really loved the idea of her marry into
Speaker 1: that family, just the diversity and American racial woman, strong woman.
Speaker 1: But then when you hear these things, and of course
Speaker 1: you never know if they're true, but it kind of
Speaker 1: come from good sources, and it's just disappointing. But actresses
Speaker 1: in general, like I, I mean, what's your explanation. You've
Speaker 1: been around more of them than I, but it's just
Speaker 1: like narcissists. I think there's a part of that. And
Speaker 1: then also like I know, I've had bad days too.
Speaker 1: I was like, there was a time I was working
Speaker 1: on a movie. Uh, it was during all of our stuff,
Speaker 1: Mike and we were up in Vancouver and Mike and
Speaker 1: our fighting, and I was really short a few days
Speaker 1: to some people because I was annoyed. I was, but
Speaker 1: I wasn't annoyed at them. I was annoyed at what
Speaker 1: was a lot in my life. I wasn't around my child,
Speaker 1: and when I'm not around my kid, I get I
Speaker 1: get really um agitated and angry. Well I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: don't you just think because it's easier, I mean, and
Speaker 1: not to be like oh poor, but like it's just
Speaker 1: easier to say like, oh my god, she's such a bit.
Speaker 1: What are you gonna say about a guy like oh
Speaker 1: he was Like I feel like it's just easier to
Speaker 1: say like a girl is like oh, she's on her
Speaker 1: period or she's you know, there's so many more excuses
Speaker 1: a guy could say about not a guy. A person
Speaker 1: could say about a female actress versus with an actor,
Speaker 1: you could be like, oh my god, he just he
Speaker 1: was in the zone when her like he was like no,
Speaker 1: he was rude and he was a dick. But you know,
Speaker 1: instead Owen Wilson, who I hear is really nice and
Speaker 1: I like, I hate this, but he filmed a movie
Speaker 1: at our house, which is just random, like you know,
Speaker 1: the scouting what do they call the people that picked
Speaker 1: the locations. Yeah, so they just happened to like knock
Speaker 1: on the door and be like, oh, can you be in?
Speaker 1: You know, can we used your house? And like yeah,
Speaker 1: surely when I thought it was Owen Wilson, But there
Speaker 1: was this whole thing like where we weren't supposed to
Speaker 1: take any pictures, which is like, yeah, I know, you're
Speaker 1: not just any pictures. But at one point he was
Speaker 1: on my daughter's swing. There's like big swings attached to
Speaker 1: this tree in the front yard, under year old tree,
Speaker 1: and he was like on the swing and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, Harry, he's on your swing, and so
Speaker 1: like I took a picture. Right he's like sitting in
Speaker 1: the swinging. I'm like, maybe you know, feet away. I
Speaker 1: took a picture and he came over to me and
Speaker 1: he's like yeah. I'm like, well, I get called out.
Speaker 1: I mean, my mom said, it's I've been like this
Speaker 1: ever since I was little, Like my Dado yelled. I mean,
Speaker 1: I was like first in his years like reprimand me
Speaker 1: even like hey, Emily, don't but like when he did that,
Speaker 1: I like, I mean I didn't cry. I was like,
Speaker 1: legitimately so upset that I wrote a letter that night.
Speaker 1: I wrote a letter. I'm like, dear Owens, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really sorry that I took the picture of you
Speaker 1: and my daughter's swing. I certainly wasn't going to do
Speaker 1: anything with it other than just put it in a
Speaker 1: family scrapbook as a fond remembrance. If when you shot
Speaker 1: this movie at home, like I felt the need to
Speaker 1: write this letter. But so actors can be kind of
Speaker 1: jerks too, But I wonder if I wonder if it's
Speaker 1: just that they're so I mean, do you think it's
Speaker 1: like an ego thing? Mike? What do you think? First? Too?
Speaker 1: But yeah, well it's funny. First of all, that sucks.
Speaker 1: I was hearing that he wasn't Also he wasn't filming.
Speaker 1: It's like between takes. I should say that too, but
Speaker 1: go ahead. Just coincidentally, Jane and I have a business
Speaker 1: meeting the other day with uh one of our agencies
Speaker 1: and stuff. And when I started talking about like business
Speaker 1: and work, I'm very uh straight faced because I'm very
Speaker 1: kind of um, I'm not introverted, but I'm introspective in
Speaker 1: that moment where like Jenna wants to like talk talk
Speaker 1: talk talk, talking back and forth, back and forth my mouth.
Speaker 1: I'm like in my head thinking everything out. So I'm
Speaker 1: very like straight faced, very to the point, very serious,
Speaker 1: um and just kind of that's just how I do
Speaker 1: it when I when I'm dealing with business stuff and
Speaker 1: and problem solving. So even Janna said, like one of
Speaker 1: our Janna's a manager that was there was like, was
Speaker 1: Mike in a bad mood because that's just kind of
Speaker 1: like how I do things when I work. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: was like Jenna asked me, was like are you okay?
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm great, Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: But I guess it's just something I kind of portray
Speaker 1: without even trying. Granted I didn't go up to somebody
Speaker 1: and give them take a picture of me. But that's
Speaker 1: one of those things that we none of us really
Speaker 1: have experience where if you had to deal with actual
Speaker 1: paparazzi or actual people in your seven who knows how
Speaker 1: jaded somebody gets and gets tired of it and when
Speaker 1: they say please know pictures and someone doesn't listen to
Speaker 1: a you know, a boundary that they set up, or
Speaker 1: when all eyes are constantly you can't go. You know.
Speaker 1: I don't like to talk when on the ride sometimes
Speaker 1: to work, just because I know it's going to be
Speaker 1: a really long day. I have a lot of energy.
Speaker 1: I'm I have. So there's certain days where sometimes I
Speaker 1: and I feel bad when the drivers asking me question
Speaker 1: the driver from set to wherever we're going. And if
Speaker 1: I'm quiet, am I going to be seen as rude?
Speaker 1: Or if I'm short, am I going to be seen
Speaker 1: as rude or is it okay for me to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm so sorry, I just don't really want
Speaker 1: to talk right now. But I end up usually talking
Speaker 1: and then I'm kind of short, which I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: they probably thought I was a total b but I
Speaker 1: just I I need you have to preserve it down
Speaker 1: to And there's a good reminder that in the delivery
Speaker 1: because of the key had said something about the sling
Speaker 1: in a different way, or like, if you say, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't really feel like talking, there's a good trick
Speaker 1: for that. In the back of cars, I I say
Speaker 1: on ste I'm just listening to a voicemail, and I
Speaker 1: hold the phone up to my ear and just pretend
Speaker 1: to listen to a voicemail that that isn't really there. Um,
Speaker 1: that's a good little trick because I always filty for
Speaker 1: that too. But um, and I think maybe you're right.
Speaker 1: I think if you own your a microscope and you're like,
Speaker 1: if you're just a normal person going about your business,
Speaker 1: maybe you're short with someone you know once every was
Speaker 1: a month. Let's call it. If you're famous in your
Speaker 1: short with that person person once a month, that anecdote
Speaker 1: is going to get told and retold and retold. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that's I guess. I guess that's fair. But is this
Speaker 1: story that you haven't told you but that you want
Speaker 1: to tell? Yeah, you know what you you mean, like
Speaker 1: a book or like a personal story, like a personal
Speaker 1: like a story that you want to write in a book,
Speaker 1: like some either whether off someone's life or I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm probably you can't answer because you know, spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: But I mean, is there some kind of that I
Speaker 1: haven't talked about a royal book? Oh my gosh, wouldn't
Speaker 1: be fun. What do you think of? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: there's so many ideas I have and so many things
Speaker 1: that I want to write about right now in the
Speaker 1: book because The Waves that Find is written about the
Speaker 1: summer before um, nine eleven, and I'm sort of fascinated
Speaker 1: with that time, like just like Innocence, almost this time
Speaker 1: before not eleven. I guess partly because I lived in
Speaker 1: the city then. Um, so there's some you know, autobiographical
Speaker 1: things in there, and um but you know, I write
Speaker 1: about relationships, and so all the books are sort of
Speaker 1: recurring themes in terms of the messiness of relationships, which
Speaker 1: I think one of the reasons that I find the
Speaker 1: two of you so appealing and refreshing, and you know,
Speaker 1: I'm so drawn to you as a couple in the
Speaker 1: families because you're really you could so easily be one
Speaker 1: of my books, you know, like exactly popped down. We
Speaker 1: got material for days, I mean for days. But it's
Speaker 1: like you, I think most people do, but they're too
Speaker 1: afraid of you know. And as you explained your story,
Speaker 1: it was sort of like forced, like you were forced
Speaker 1: to share it because you wanted to share it on
Speaker 1: your terms, which I thought. It's just an interesting part
Speaker 1: of our conversation that night, your description of that and
Speaker 1: how you sort of like, you know, you wanted ownership
Speaker 1: of your own story, um, which was just just think
Speaker 1: of how incredibly strong you are. But um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that most people have you know, met Our
Speaker 1: lives are so messy, Our relationships are so messy. I
Speaker 1: mean even you're you know, your your best friend, Like
Speaker 1: if you go deep enough with the best friend, you're
Speaker 1: going to have like the rocky patch. Certainly in a
Speaker 1: marriage you have capatch. I mean there's a part of
Speaker 1: one of the books where I say marriage is a
Speaker 1: total mystery, even the two people who are in it
Speaker 1: and I think that that's the case with everyone. And
Speaker 1: I just think most people are so busy worrying about
Speaker 1: the perceptions of who they are and who they want
Speaker 1: to present to the world, that is that you you
Speaker 1: don't really you don't really know what's happening with people,
Speaker 1: and they're just posting these things on social media and
Speaker 1: making their lives look perfect, and because they're almost too afraid,
Speaker 1: like what will people think, Well, do they still like
Speaker 1: me if they know that my husband had an affair
Speaker 1: or you know, which is really the messed up part.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you're you're you're not only worried
Speaker 1: about what you've done, but like what everyone in your
Speaker 1: life has done. Like what if someone knows that my
Speaker 1: child has a drug problem? Oh my gosh, the militiudge
Speaker 1: me is not being a good mother, and maybe the
Speaker 1: don't want to be friends with me. And you see
Speaker 1: a lot of this stuff, you know, as you when
Speaker 1: you're when you're writing books and really examining relationships, you
Speaker 1: know you, I mean, you guys see that too, don't
Speaker 1: you When you're when you're doing your podcast and you
Speaker 1: have people share these stories with you. Oh yeah, yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: so you have three kids, I do and what, um,
Speaker 1: what do you think the greatest piece of relationship advice
Speaker 1: that you've gotten along the way from you know, just
Speaker 1: life with your husband and three kids, and where you
Speaker 1: guys are at now in terms of marriage or like
Speaker 1: in terms of you know, motherhood or just inch otherhood
Speaker 1: and and and really like what would you what would
Speaker 1: you tell your your kids when they get to that
Speaker 1: young adult stage in their twenties and they're trying to
Speaker 1: start to have serious relationships, Like what kind of relational
Speaker 1: advice would you give them to compare to you and
Speaker 1: your husband of what you all have done successfully? Well,
Speaker 1: they're there, you know, I've always are fifteen, my daughters twelve,
Speaker 1: so no one there have no boyfriend, girlfriend or anything
Speaker 1: like that. But in terms of I think what we
Speaker 1: what we try to sort of show by example and
Speaker 1: the conversations that we have is that people, you know,
Speaker 1: people aren't perfect, and we make mistakes, and we always
Speaker 1: you know, we always try, even if it's sometimes a
Speaker 1: little bit of upfront to say, to own our mistakes
Speaker 1: in front of our kids to each other, like I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that that I didn't say that in a nice way.
Speaker 1: That wasn't right um, even though later we could be
Speaker 1: you know, we can continue with the fight. But I
Speaker 1: think I think it's importantly even if you just agree,
Speaker 1: like just just sort of acknowledge that we're all flawed,
Speaker 1: you know, and just sometimes something will happen and you know,
Speaker 1: I have one one one of my sons, like a
Speaker 1: little bit more emotional and health hell be up that
Speaker 1: will have a family fight or an argument and he'll
Speaker 1: be like, the whole weekend ruined, the whole thing is ruined,
Speaker 1: the whole trip druin. And you know, we always say, no,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not all that sings all ruined because
Speaker 1: this happened or that happened. Like, you can recover, you
Speaker 1: can bound back. You need to be resilient in your
Speaker 1: own life and in your own relationships. You know, you
Speaker 1: this isn't a fairy tale. We can have little setbacks,
Speaker 1: we can have disagreements, and you know, ultimately the other
Speaker 1: thing is just you're all on the same team. You know,
Speaker 1: you're gonna have fights with people on your team, but
Speaker 1: you're on the same team. It's in a way, it's
Speaker 1: your family against the world. And I feel like YouTube
Speaker 1: really convey that in your podcast. It's like you ultimately,
Speaker 1: you know, you have each other's backs, and I think
Speaker 1: that's that's so important. I don't know if that's that
Speaker 1: advice feels too general, but no, I think I think
Speaker 1: that's actually something that goes over looked at Jim and
Speaker 1: I've talked about a lot, and we even talked about
Speaker 1: it when we had you. Is about just remaining keeping
Speaker 1: that mindset of your your team. You know, your spouse
Speaker 1: is your teammate. You don't have to be against each other,
Speaker 1: you can work together. I just think it's easy for
Speaker 1: people to make the other person out to be the
Speaker 1: enemy though, And I think that's what we've done earlier
Speaker 1: on in our relationship that we've really failed on, where
Speaker 1: it's like I'm not your enemy, but you're treating me
Speaker 1: like your enemy, you know. I think that's that's hard,
Speaker 1: I think, But I think over the years of being married,
Speaker 1: you start to work together. Yeah, when you when you
Speaker 1: get so frustrated into that or you insecure with yourself,
Speaker 1: it's very easy to sort of draw those lines. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's a whole separate sort of
Speaker 1: issue in a marriage versus like what you you know,
Speaker 1: the hold the family component, um, you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: almost like it's it's almost like it's okay for them
Speaker 1: to see you fight. They have to office see the
Speaker 1: resolution there and that you love each other no matter what. Um.
Speaker 1: And you know, we have the twin sons, so they
Speaker 1: fight all the time and it's just like, you know,
Speaker 1: the worst when they're fighting. And what we always say
Speaker 1: is do you like it when Daddy and I fight?
Speaker 1: Will know, well, just you know stop then, like you everyone,
Speaker 1: we have five people in our family. Everyone's responsible for
Speaker 1: the happiness of our home life. If one person is
Speaker 1: being awful, which is usually my youngest daughter, we talked
Speaker 1: about that Jan our daughters, it can be difficult, um,
Speaker 1: but that's sort of everything off kilter, and you have
Speaker 1: sure ruined them, like you know, you cannot be as
Speaker 1: I always stay that, Harriet, you cannot hijack the happiness
Speaker 1: of this family. We do not negotiate with terrorists. That's
Speaker 1: a good life. It's a good line for you and
Speaker 1: your daughter. Well, that's a great wisdom from a fantastic writer. Emily.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us, and we're so
Speaker 1: excited to connect with you again and have you on
Speaker 1: a new show. I know we're gonna try to come
Speaker 1: back to Atlanta soon. So friend, Emily you I just
Speaker 1: called her. M she does have a movie for you
Speaker 1: or some roles. So yeah, I'm just obsessed with there
Speaker 1: because I've read every single one of her books. I
Speaker 1: don't read any other author. There's not one other author
Speaker 1: that I read. She is the only one. And whenever
Speaker 1: I get it, I'm like, bye, Mike, like two days gone.
Speaker 1: That's so, she's the only author I can read. I
Speaker 1: just think she's so relatable. Her stories are so good.
Speaker 1: I'm laughing, I'm crying. I'm like and then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's so good. Emily Given dot com. Get every single
Speaker 1: one of her books because they're the best. You can
Speaker 1: pre order her next book, The Lies That Bind Emily
Speaker 1: Different dot Com. Let's take a break in then, doo
Speaker 1: Emails is already December. As much as we love getting seasonal,
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Speaker 1: sleep number dot com slash Janna Oh Mark, do you
Speaker 1: have any emails for us? Sabrina is wondering what happened
Speaker 1: with your One Tree Hill marathon? Is that still going?
Speaker 1: You know what? So look, sorry again, we spa this
Speaker 1: to somebody recently. Every podcast, every wine down, people ask
Speaker 1: you because someone asked about that, and I said, well,
Speaker 1: I personally didn't realize that there's like two ninety six
Speaker 1: episodes and he's one is like fifty five minutes. So
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but we don't have a spare two nine
Speaker 1: hours to spend watching One Tree Hill. It's one. It's
Speaker 1: a bit how do you eat an elephant one bite
Speaker 1: at a time? You just gotta just gotta good after
Speaker 1: one and show a week and the next thing you
Speaker 1: know you got it. That. Yeah, but that means we
Speaker 1: gotta say, you know that, we have to watch that
Speaker 1: instead of some of the shows that were the morning show,
Speaker 1: So I need to start that. It's so good. I
Speaker 1: know I've gotten buried in shows right now. It's only
Speaker 1: I am okay, So sorry Sabrina and everyone else. She
Speaker 1: says that show was and is the ish. Still, I
Speaker 1: gotta start it. I'm gonna do it. I love the podcast.
Speaker 1: To see you at the Royal Oak Podcast. I've been
Speaker 1: counting down, so wind down to our our last week
Speaker 1: of this of this run. We're doing Chicago, which has
Speaker 1: sold out. Detroit, got a couple of seats loft for
Speaker 1: that in the Louisville the first week of December. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be so much fool Fourth and fifth, all right,
Speaker 1: Dana is about to turn twenty five. She's went with
Speaker 1: the boyfriend, who's twenty six, for two years. She says,
Speaker 1: I have three wonderful brothers. Were very big and intimidating.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend is laid back, and that ruggy is not
Speaker 1: scary looking at all. A little over a year ago,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I were out and we're approached by
Speaker 1: an irate man yelling at us over a parking space.
Speaker 1: I was very uncomfortable, very scared. My boyfriend did nothing.
Speaker 1: I was the one who had to calm this guy
Speaker 1: down when my boyfriend just stood there. I expressed my
Speaker 1: feelings to him. He apologized, He told me he would
Speaker 1: do whatever I needed him to do to help me
Speaker 1: feel safe. It's been over a year and I don't
Speaker 1: really know what it is exactly that I need from him.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of hoping another occasion like that comes up
Speaker 1: so he can show me something different. This is the
Speaker 1: man I want to settle down with and have a
Speaker 1: family with, but I'm not sure I can be confident
Speaker 1: in doing either of those things if I don't feel
Speaker 1: safe with him. Amazing that, I mean, I can't even
Speaker 1: like he's just a fantastic email that's so good? So
Speaker 1: what So Okay, there's a few schools of thought on this. So, Dana,
Speaker 1: if you were to trade places with the woman that
Speaker 1: was dating the hothead who would get in a fight
Speaker 1: snaptop or or make it worse or escalate it, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that most people in that relationship would probably
Speaker 1: trade places with you. But there is that happy medium.
Speaker 1: I get what she's saying, though. She wants to feel
Speaker 1: protective and she wants to feel and I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that means that her boyfriend has to basically threaten to
Speaker 1: beat this guy up, but something definitely needs to be said. Honestly,
Speaker 1: she just needs to assume the role because I've assumed
Speaker 1: that role very early on, and I know you think
Speaker 1: I'm not scary, but I really am. I saw very
Speaker 1: early on that ties a lover and he's kind and
Speaker 1: he's genuine, and I'm just not so if you want
Speaker 1: to come at us, come at me, and here we go.
Speaker 1: I mean, there are there are several moments where Jana
Speaker 1: is the more intimidating person. Yeah, you just gotta like fine, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fine. What do you mean? What what do you mean?
Speaker 1: You like yell at cab people and oh no, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to pop off on anyone who looks
Speaker 1: at me. But like, if someone's gonna get in my
Speaker 1: face about a parking spot, I'm going to have him
Speaker 1: take several seats and tell me he's to walk with
Speaker 1: the lord and calm down, like you know, something normal.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna throw punches, But that's really funny. That's
Speaker 1: where I mean, because you're you would sorry, you would
Speaker 1: you would throw you would throw punches, not now, not nowadays?
Speaker 1: What days his football testaster, Yeah, not nowadays. I would
Speaker 1: not get in a fight over a parking spot. I
Speaker 1: don't have to talk for people like that, like account
Speaker 1: So if someone threatened your safety, yes, yeah, or if
Speaker 1: somebody pushed you in a bar and you're like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: He's like, what what situation should I be in a
Speaker 1: bar where someone pushes me and says you would good question?
Speaker 1: Justin timber like circle. I mean I can get, I
Speaker 1: can understand. I'm me, I'm sure. I mean you guys say,
Speaker 1: I mean Sarah, you're just owning the role. Well no,
Speaker 1: but there are no, no, there are times like you know,
Speaker 1: we walk our dogs late at night and sometimes I
Speaker 1: get scared and I'm like, okay, realistically though, if I'm
Speaker 1: walking this dog and someone comes at me and die,
Speaker 1: what is he gonna do? He's gonna possibly like scream,
Speaker 1: run or run you know. So there's times where you
Speaker 1: know I'd like him to but I think for sure
Speaker 1: for this listener, obviously, if something happens, he's going to
Speaker 1: protect and assume the role. Like the parking spot thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe he was a little too chill, but like, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: if someone let me ask this, let me and let
Speaker 1: me have a point to this, to have a story
Speaker 1: of apologists. So I wonder it was about a parking spot.
Speaker 1: Did she do anything to piss this guy off? Like
Speaker 1: did Dana steal his parking spot? And is that why
Speaker 1: he's getting angry. But which uh the other day at
Speaker 1: Jolie's Thanksgiving dinner at her school, you beat the horn.
Speaker 1: It's a mom going into the thing because she took
Speaker 1: your guy, Michael, that's a mom going into the same school.
Speaker 1: Serious side, I'm just kidding. That's because we're in a
Speaker 1: fight and I was angry, and it doesn't But no,
Speaker 1: My point is if Dana did something to make this
Speaker 1: guy mad and she's like, stand up for me, why
Speaker 1: aren't you saving back? And if he's like, well you
Speaker 1: kind of stole a spot, bro, wait, like how to
Speaker 1: lose a guy? My friends? You know, we brought this up.
Speaker 1: I think we might have talked about before. We don't
Speaker 1: need to bring it back up. Okay, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: we won't bring it back up. Still subject okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this girl out of a salon called you an out
Speaker 1: for kind of sound means Jana wasn't purposely, but she
Speaker 1: sounded a little snarky to the woman at the nail
Speaker 1: salon about our appointment time. Serious, remember that, and the
Speaker 1: girls like calling Janna rude and Janna instead of looking
Speaker 1: back at the girl, she looks at me. She's like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna say anything? And I kind of look
Speaker 1: at Jane. I'm like, well, you're kind of bed. It
Speaker 1: was one instance, but any other time, oh my god. Okay,
Speaker 1: do we have anymore Mark, Well, no, but just we
Speaker 1: haven't really given her any advice. I think it made
Speaker 1: a great conversation, but I think the advice, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: just defending guys that aren't very um traditionally macho. I
Speaker 1: guess you could say this may never come up again
Speaker 1: as long as you live. You know this, this may
Speaker 1: have been an isolated incident. I don't think you should
Speaker 1: put so much into this. You don't want to be
Speaker 1: married to your brothers, and you don't just love him
Speaker 1: for what he is and assume this is never going
Speaker 1: to happen. And if it's really bothering, you bring it
Speaker 1: up to him from a good place. But hey, that's
Speaker 1: still has been sitting with me really weird. And I
Speaker 1: just want to know that you will maybe say something
Speaker 1: or hire somebody to jump out at you in an
Speaker 1: aisle an alley, frank him, frank him responsible, Alright, love you,
Speaker 1: wind down next week.