Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to stop using the word busy. Now.
Speaker 1: I know that busy seems like a useful way to
Speaker 1: describe our full and active lives, but because I write
Speaker 1: and talk about time, I've become aware of just how
Speaker 1: overused that word is. Think back to the last conversation
Speaker 1: you had with someone about how life was going. I'm
Speaker 1: guessing the conversation with something like this, Hey, Dave, how
Speaker 1: is your weekend? Oh, you know, busy? Or Nancy, haven't
Speaker 1: seen you in a while? How's life? Oh, busy? Then
Speaker 1: you respond with how busy you've been as well. It's
Speaker 1: kind of funny if you think about it, and one
Speaker 1: of the points of conversation is to find common ground.
Speaker 1: And if both of you are extremely busy, then you
Speaker 1: probably don't have time for each other. So what's the point.
Speaker 1: Of course, I know people tend not to mean busy
Speaker 1: in the sense that they have no time to talk
Speaker 1: with the other person. It's more a statement that you
Speaker 1: have a lot filling your time, which means that demand
Speaker 1: for your time is high. And since people need you
Speaker 1: professionally and personally life is going well. Busy tends to
Speaker 1: mean fine, but I think it's worth striking busy as
Speaker 1: the default response when someone asks you how life is
Speaker 1: going first, it's not really helpful for moving the conversation along.
Speaker 1: Specifics are better here. If someone asks how your weekend was,
Speaker 1: instead of saying busy, you can say great, we tried
Speaker 1: that new Mexican restaurant at the mall with some friends
Speaker 1: and it was pretty good. Your colleague might volunteer that
Speaker 1: he likes Mexican food as well, and next thing you know,
Speaker 1: your whole team is going out to compare the different
Speaker 1: types of guacamole at that taco stand down the street.
Speaker 1: Or you find out that the neighbor you're telling this
Speaker 1: to is friends with the owner of that Mexican place
Speaker 1: at the mall. Next time you go, you're getting free Margarita's.
Speaker 1: None of this might come from simply deeming the weekend busy.
Speaker 1: I think the more important reason for getting rid of
Speaker 1: this word, though, is that life is all about perception.
Speaker 1: The more often we say we're busy, the more we
Speaker 1: come to believe it. We start to believe we don't
Speaker 1: have time for the things that matter to us. We
Speaker 1: don't have time to pursue that passion project, or take
Speaker 1: night classes or go for that promotion. We're so busy,
Speaker 1: how could we possibly volunteer regularly or host a book
Speaker 1: club or all sorts of other things that would add
Speaker 1: joy and meaning to our lives? And even more insidious,
Speaker 1: When we believe that we're so busy, we can find
Speaker 1: it hard to relax. We feel like there's always something
Speaker 1: else we should be doing, so when downtime appears, will
Speaker 1: fill it with whatever is right in front of us.
Speaker 1: Probably big chunks of that stuff doesn't have to happen.
Speaker 1: But try telling that to someone who's wedded to the
Speaker 1: identity of being a busy, busy person. I know this
Speaker 1: is easier said than done. I can stop using the
Speaker 1: word busy easily enough, especially when people ask me about
Speaker 1: my weekend. But getting rid of the scarcity mindset about
Speaker 1: time that it represents is a different matter like anyone else.
Speaker 1: When I'm looking at a long list of work tasks
Speaker 1: and then I realized that, hey, my four kids all
Speaker 1: and have places they need to be and lengthy school
Speaker 1: assignments and whatever else, I can feel frantic. It can
Speaker 1: feel like there isn't enough time, but time just is
Speaker 1: what it is. I try to repeat a phrase that
Speaker 1: I wrote into my time management fable Juliette School of
Speaker 1: Possibilities Juliette. The mentor figure tells anyone who asks that
Speaker 1: I have all the time in the world. I love
Speaker 1: these words. I have all the time in the world.
Speaker 1: Rushing just makes me feel rushed. Talking about being busy
Speaker 1: makes me feel busy. It may not be true that
Speaker 1: time is abundant, but we're much better off telling ourselves
Speaker 1: is that because all of time is a negotiation with others,
Speaker 1: with the clock with ourselves. In any negotiation, we come
Speaker 1: out better when we go in knowing we already have
Speaker 1: what we need. Everything else is just a bonus. When
Speaker 1: time feels abundant, we make wise choices with it. We
Speaker 1: revel in spending time with people we love, and we
Speaker 1: devote any time we can to our passions. When we
Speaker 1: feel busy, we're less likely to do that. So try
Speaker 1: listening to yourself today. Do you use the word busy
Speaker 1: all the time? What are you trying to convey by that?
Speaker 1: Try being more direct. If you need help, ask for it.
Speaker 1: If you have more obligations for a day, then seems
Speaker 1: like they'll fit. See what you can jettison, but at
Speaker 1: least for a little bit, try getting rid of the
Speaker 1: word busy from your vocabulary and see what happens in
Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,
Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the
Speaker 1: number four, then breakfast p o D. You can also
Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i
Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of
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