1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to stop using the word busy. Now. 4 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: I know that busy seems like a useful way to 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: describe our full and active lives, but because I write 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: and talk about time, I've become aware of just how 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: overused that word is. Think back to the last conversation 8 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,959 Speaker 1: you had with someone about how life was going. I'm 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: guessing the conversation with something like this, Hey, Dave, how 10 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:42,240 Speaker 1: is your weekend? Oh, you know, busy? Or Nancy, haven't 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: seen you in a while? How's life? Oh, busy? Then 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: you respond with how busy you've been as well. It's 13 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,599 Speaker 1: kind of funny if you think about it, and one 14 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: of the points of conversation is to find common ground. 15 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: And if both of you are extremely busy, then you 16 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: probably don't have time for each other. So what's the point. 17 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: Of course, I know people tend not to mean busy 18 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: in the sense that they have no time to talk 19 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: with the other person. It's more a statement that you 20 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: have a lot filling your time, which means that demand 21 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: for your time is high. And since people need you 22 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: professionally and personally life is going well. Busy tends to 23 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: mean fine, but I think it's worth striking busy as 24 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: the default response when someone asks you how life is 25 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: going first, it's not really helpful for moving the conversation along. 26 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 1: Specifics are better here. If someone asks how your weekend was, 27 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: instead of saying busy, you can say great, we tried 28 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: that new Mexican restaurant at the mall with some friends 29 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: and it was pretty good. Your colleague might volunteer that 30 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: he likes Mexican food as well, and next thing you know, 31 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,559 Speaker 1: your whole team is going out to compare the different 32 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 1: types of guacamole at that taco stand down the street. 33 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: Or you find out that the neighbor you're telling this 34 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: to is friends with the owner of that Mexican place 35 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: at the mall. Next time you go, you're getting free Margarita's. 36 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: None of this might come from simply deeming the weekend busy. 37 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: I think the more important reason for getting rid of 38 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: this word, though, is that life is all about perception. 39 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: The more often we say we're busy, the more we 40 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: come to believe it. We start to believe we don't 41 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: have time for the things that matter to us. We 42 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: don't have time to pursue that passion project, or take 43 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: night classes or go for that promotion. We're so busy, 44 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: how could we possibly volunteer regularly or host a book 45 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: club or all sorts of other things that would add 46 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: joy and meaning to our lives? And even more insidious, 47 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: When we believe that we're so busy, we can find 48 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: it hard to relax. We feel like there's always something 49 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: else we should be doing, so when downtime appears, will 50 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: fill it with whatever is right in front of us. 51 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: Probably big chunks of that stuff doesn't have to happen. 52 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: But try telling that to someone who's wedded to the 53 00:02:55,400 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: identity of being a busy, busy person. I know this 54 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: is easier said than done. I can stop using the 55 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: word busy easily enough, especially when people ask me about 56 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: my weekend. But getting rid of the scarcity mindset about 57 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: time that it represents is a different matter like anyone else. 58 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: When I'm looking at a long list of work tasks 59 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: and then I realized that, hey, my four kids all 60 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: and have places they need to be and lengthy school 61 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: assignments and whatever else, I can feel frantic. It can 62 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: feel like there isn't enough time, but time just is 63 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: what it is. I try to repeat a phrase that 64 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: I wrote into my time management fable Juliette School of 65 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 1: Possibilities Juliette. The mentor figure tells anyone who asks that 66 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: I have all the time in the world. I love 67 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: these words. I have all the time in the world. 68 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: Rushing just makes me feel rushed. Talking about being busy 69 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: makes me feel busy. It may not be true that 70 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: time is abundant, but we're much better off telling ourselves 71 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: is that because all of time is a negotiation with others, 72 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: with the clock with ourselves. In any negotiation, we come 73 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: out better when we go in knowing we already have 74 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: what we need. Everything else is just a bonus. When 75 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: time feels abundant, we make wise choices with it. We 76 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: revel in spending time with people we love, and we 77 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: devote any time we can to our passions. When we 78 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: feel busy, we're less likely to do that. So try 79 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: listening to yourself today. Do you use the word busy 80 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: all the time? What are you trying to convey by that? 81 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: Try being more direct. If you need help, ask for it. 82 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: If you have more obligations for a day, then seems 83 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: like they'll fit. See what you can jettison, but at 84 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: least for a little bit, try getting rid of the 85 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: word busy from your vocabulary and see what happens in 86 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 87 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd 88 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 89 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, 90 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the 91 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: number four, then breakfast p o D. You can also 92 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i 93 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,400 Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out 94 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward 95 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of 96 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 97 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 98 00:05:54,800 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. A GA