WEBVTT - Best and Worst Pregnancy Advice and Comments 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:08.840 Who baby a baby? I need you, Oh hell, I 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:14.000 need you. What to Expect is a production of I 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:18.239 Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murkop, and I'm a 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:20.960 mom on a mission, a mission to help you know 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:25.400 what to expect every step of the way. Have I 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:29.200 noticed that there's just something about a baby bump that 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:33.760 brings out the busybody in everybody, that breaks down social 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:38.640 barriers and norms that usually keep strangers minding their own business, 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:42.919 that has everyone and your mother playing the pregnancy police 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:47.320 or the pregnancy expert, predicting your baby sex, or speculating 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:51.239 on your due date, or even making cracks about your 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:55.560 family planning fail. Of course you have. And let's face it, 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:59.440 we are all looking for advice when we're expecting. Chances 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:03.040 are you already turned to people who've been there before 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:07.480 for a little insight and intel. It's probably why you're 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:11.360 listening to this podcast. And today we are turning the 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:15.280 tables and turning to you are What to Expect Community 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:19.520 to share the best and worst pregnancy advice and comments 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:24.560 you've ever received, the things that have shocked or offended you, 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.960 and the things that have helped motivate and inspire you. 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:31.880 Because as you know, we are all in this together, 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:36.240 and I am together with Emma. Hey, Emma, when you 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.960 were pregnant both times, Okay, we can safely assume that 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:44.520 of the unwanted advice you got from me, and then 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:50.520 you didn't follow like that aircraft to get other comments 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:54.200 that bugged you or rubbed you the wrong way. No, 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.480 I think the only thing is wow, you look so small. 0:01:57.920 --> 0:01:59.720 I mean, I think that's like a double edged sword. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.040 Need to say that to a pregnant keep it to 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:05.960 yourself exactly. I'm actually really grateful that I didn't have 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:09.239 any comments like that towards me, because I literally would 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.600 have had a meltdown. Yeah, I'm very insecure to be 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:14.600 in my youth, So I just don't you that fuel 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.400 added to that insecurity fire. Yeah, I mean me, it's 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:20.440 really hard for me to remember that far back. I mean, 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:23.679 I wasn't that young. I was twenty three. I was 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:27.160 a grown up, But I remember people looking at me 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:30.480 a little bit funny because I gave off this kind 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:35.160 of teen mom vibe and Eric dad, he was a 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:36.960 grown up, you know, it was clear that he had 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:39.919 gotten me knocked up, so that it seemed like awkward 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:44.080 for everyone yeah, yeah, I like it. There was a 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:48.560 girlfriend of Eric's friend who asked to see my bump, 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:50.640 like we're all sitting around and she said, oh, let 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:53.000 me see your belly because we didn't call it bumps 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.079 back then, it was belly. And I was so excited 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.200 and I lifted up my shirt and I was so 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:03.800 proud of my ump and she goes, wow, that's really furry. 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:10.240 You got so much further. I was mortified. That's normal, Okay, relaxed, 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:13.760 turbo sit down. Yeah, no, we're all furry when we're pregnant. 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.519 I know it goes away. Babies are usually born furry too, 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:20.200 so you can exactly keep those comments to yourself. I mean, 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.880 I have to admit that I've made some comments that 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:26.560 I later regretted. I think we all have. But like recently, 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:29.680 at a USO baby shower, a mom was there. She 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.720 didn't have a baby with her, and usually either the 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:34.920 mom is pregnant or she has her baby with her. Well, 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.440 this mom, I didn't have a baby with her, so 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.160 I assumed she was pregnized. That what's your due date? 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.160 And she said, oh, I already had the baby. The 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:49.120 baby's home with my husband. And I was like oh no, sorry, So, yeah, 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.800 I'm a little bit more careful now, but yeah, never 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:55.880 assume a woman is pregnant or speculate about her to day. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.000 Now she wants to tell you, she'll tell you. So 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:01.480 we asked our moms on social media and the what 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:04.400 to Expect message boards to find out what comments. You 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:08.000 are all just sick and tired of hearing You're already 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:10.280 sick and tired when you're pregnant, but now you're sick 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.720 and tired of hearing these things. And first, um, what 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:17.560 we heard so much was that pregnant moms seemed to 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:21.080 be sick of the dire warnings, like the worst case 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.320 scenarios that everybody is always giving you. So if you're 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.440 listening out there, the bottom line is nobody wants to 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:33.000 hear your horror stories. Every pregnancy is different, and because 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:37.440 you're probably exaggerating the story that that's what tends to 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.159 happen naturally. You know a mom who's been through the 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:42.760 ring or you know, during labor and delivery, she embellishes 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.520 the story every time she tells it, and it truly 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.120 does become a horror story, and nobody wants to hear 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:51.680 that when they're about to go into labor. So some 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:55.560 of the common responses were labor is so painful. You 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:59.760 know people telling you that, Like, duh, we can assume 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:03.520 that paper is painful. It's going to hurt. But I 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.120 don't see why you have to tell a mom that 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:09.400 one she's pregnant. I also remember, you're not going to 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:11.880 remember that pain. If you remember that pain, no one 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:15.279 would have more than one kid. It's true, although I 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:18.159 kind of think I do remember the pain. Yeah, but 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.200 you also had a natural birth. I had an epidural, 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:22.240 so well that's true. Then of course you're not going 0:05:22.279 --> 0:05:25.360 to remember. That's what epidurals were made for. So anyway, 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.160 something else they're sick of hearing is you're never going 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:31.359 to sleep again, or you think you're tired. Now you 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.359 just wait. I'm guilty of saying that to so many people, 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:38.080 so you might want to rethink that strategy. Yeah, this 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:40.800 whole episode has made me rethink my whole life, so 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.880 I'm glad me too. I feel like I've said so 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:47.679 many things that could have been offensive, so probably best 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:52.320 to just yeah or edit yourself when in doubt, just 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.880 be quiet. Yeah, you got some from your Instagram that 0:05:55.920 --> 0:05:58.560 we're pretty yeah. The best one was enjoy every second, 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:02.520 and then she put the nausea emoji because like a 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:07.159 lot of people are puking for nine months and they're like, okay, yeah, 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.559 I'm going to enjoy every second, praying to the porcelain gods, 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:14.400 thank you. I love that. Another one is life is 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:17.160 about to end. I won't be anything I want ever again. 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.919 And then the mom's like, okay, well, life actually began 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.680 when I had my son, and I thought that was awesome. 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:27.040 She took a negative and turned it into a positive. 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:29.640 The truth is your life begins. It really does. So 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:32.719 I really like that way of thinking. It's a different life, 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:37.240 better in some ways, even better in other ways. And 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:41.280 then there's the rest. We don't need to, you know, 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.120 go there with her when she's still pregnant. Let her 0:06:45.160 --> 0:07:00.800 find out and decide for herself. Of the moms were 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.200 bothered by the endless barrage of questions. I don't know 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.080 if you got any of these, emma, but you know, 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:08.919 are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? You know, what are 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:13.280 your plans to feed the baby? Insert judgment? How long 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:17.320 were you trying? Like? Seriously, okay, my sex, like my 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:19.400 sex life unless it's mad, then I'll tell you all 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.120 about my sex life. But for most people, they don't 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.440 like to talk about that, especially you know what, like 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.600 that's not a fair question because someone had infertility problems 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:28.640 or they couldn't get pregnant for a while. There's so 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:32.840 many varitables about becoming pregnant, so let's just not go there. 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.320 If she wants to volunteer it, then let her be 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:39.240 the one to share. This one surprised me a lot 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.080 because a lot of people said they don't like being 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:46.360 asked how are you feeling now? I asked this of 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:50.280 pregnant women all the time, but it's because I care 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.720 and like, I want them to share if they have, 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.240 you know, symptoms that are bothering them, or if they 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:58.760 just want to say they feel great. But a lot 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:02.800 of you reported being tired of repeating you know how 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:06.440 I'm feeling. I'm tired, and I'm Cassie and I'm uncomfortable, 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:10.560 my bad hurts my crot shirts, or on the other hand, 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.400 you know, tired of just lying and saying, oh, I 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:16.920 feel fine because it leads to an easier conversation. What 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.120 do you think about the question? Yeah, I was surprised 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:22.440 by that, although I do get it, I sometimes feel like, Okay, 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:24.160 I just don't want to talk to anybody right now, 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:25.600 so I just don't talk to me. So I kind 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:29.480 of understand that, but I mean people care after. I mean, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.080 if it's a family member or like your best friend, like, 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:35.240 you can't really fault them for caring exactly, but it's 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.680 still sometimes it gets annoying, I guess. So some of 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:43.640 the most common questions are rhetorical and just plain rude. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:48.000 You're still pregnant, like when is that baby going to 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:51.720 be born already? Um? And then there's the perennial favorite 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:56.640 are you sure you're not having twins? People on my 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.520 Instagram they're like, they're like, are you sure there's only one? 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:05.040 M nice? And then there's a question when you have twins, 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.199 or you tell someone you're expecting twins and they're like, oh, 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:11.920 did you have fertility treatment? Okay, zipp at peanut Gallery 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:16.200 and there are moms like you, you had IVF with 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:20.160 lenox I put two babies in there, yeah, and you 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:24.960 would probably be happy to discuss you know, your fertility treins, 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.160 But like, exactly, I'm not everybody. I will be happy 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:32.400 to talk about anything, anything, all day, any day. But 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:35.680 most people, especially you know, pregnant women, are not like me, 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:37.959 especially people who are going through those kinds of struggles. 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:39.640 They don't want to talk about it. Yeah, and I 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.040 mean some moms are happy to talk about it, especially 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:46.240 if they can help another mom out who might be 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.360 facing those fertility struggles themselves. I mean, that might be 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.200 why they're asking, not just because they're nosy, although they 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:55.680 might just be nosy. I've had moms say when they're 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:57.840 asked about their twins, they say, well, they were made 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.640 with love, so which is true, Like they were made 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:03.680 with love, even if they were made in you know, 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.439 a laboratory or if they were made in bed. Another 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.839 comeback that some moms give is well, we had sex 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.360 twice in the same night. Well, like who hasn't at 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:19.240 some point in her eyes, sometimes five times. Um Unsolicited 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.680 advice was a big theme. Not surprisingly, some moms said 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.040 they've been told over and over you can drink in 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:28.560 the third trimester. Well, that is a discussion between a 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:34.520 woman and her doctor, not a woman and you stranger person. 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.360 The person in like the grocery store exactly, and the 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:41.560 you should comments like you should eat this, you should 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.000 sleep now you should buy this and you should shut up. 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.880 You should shut up, Yes, definitely, And I mean you 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.880 had some odd ones that I had never heard before. Yeah, 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.240 I had some bizarre ones. I had someone say someone 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:59.000 told her not to eat mustard, and someone said, don't 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:02.280 eat spicy food. So, first of all, if anyone told 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:06.200 you not to eat mustard, you probably would have flipped mustard. Yeah, 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.840 you love mustard um and hot food. I mean I've 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.920 heard people say that, oh, it's gonna make the baby's 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:17.600 eyes burn or something. No. Yeah, it's just like the 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.719 whole thing, like when a man's like, I'm scared to 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:21.520 have sex. I don't want my penis to hit the 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:25.760 baby in the head. Well it's not bulls. Don't don't 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:27.960 have sex and eat spicy food at the same time. 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:33.640 And then, of course the pregnancy police are everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, 0:11:33.920 --> 0:11:37.120 so many Karen's up in here. Yeah, like the woman 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.800 at Starbucks who says, are you sure you should be 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:44.480 having that giant coffee drink? So many people have said 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:46.560 that people in Starbucks has actually come up to them 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:48.040 and said, are you sure you've been drinking that when 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:51.440 you're pregnant? And then like say you were in a 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.959 restaurant and you're drinking something out of a cocktail glass. 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:59.920 You should not be drinking. I don't make those assumptions. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:05.120 And again, it's a conversation between a doctor and a mom, 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:09.840 not between you busybody person, or you shouldn't be carrying 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:13.280 that heavy bag or that toddler. There was a mom 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:17.040 online who said that her mother in law forbade her 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.000 to hold the toddler right, yeah, while she was at 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:23.480 her house. Yeah, that's another conversation with the doctor. Now 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.520 with you mother in law. Yeah, I love you. But 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:28.960 everybody has an opinion. Opinions are like you know what, 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:33.720 because everybody has one. Oh yeah, um, And then there 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.520 that don't gain too much weight and don't eat too 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:40.880 much sugar. Again, check with the doctor with the person 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.600 checking you out of the store. Oh and speaking of that, 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:48.960 there's the family planning police too, apparently, because one mom 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.320 was at a store, she was pregnant and she had 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.520 her very young toddler with her, and then checker said, 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:58.040 I kid you not, I hope you're ready to be 0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:02.400 a single mother of two under two. And she was 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:06.520 actually married, not that it mattered, right, Like this was 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.840 none of this woman's business. She was married, but her 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.640 ring didn't fit anymore because of pregnancy. Plus so she 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:14.920 wasn't wearing a ring. But who did she think she 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.520 is making that? Who are these people? Like? Where in 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.199 your head? Is that okay to say? But but also 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:22.720 it is okay to be a single mother of course, 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:24.559 Like I want to know who this woman is so 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.200 I can go into that store and just have a 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:28.520 word with her. You and me both, honey, you and 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:32.160 me both. A few moms who have closely space babies 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:36.400 are also tired of hearing, wow, you all are fast, 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:41.760 or isn't it time to start using birth control once again? 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.840 A conversation? You just jealous that I'm sleeping with my husband, 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:49.440 not with you, not with you. I feel like people 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.640 who say that are just jealous that those you know, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.800 parents are having so much sex enough to get pregnant 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.320 two months after they have a baby. And of course, 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.640 there were lots of comments on pregnant woman's bodies, which 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:07.040 seemed to be like community property somehow, Right when you're pregnant, 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.480 everybody thinks they know something about your body that you 0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:14.000 should know. You're not pregnant. We're all pregnant. And this 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:16.360 was one of the most common things you responded about. 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.760 Not surprisingly, we have some personal stories too. So yeah, 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.280 my father in law, Norm, I've told this story before, 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:26.680 but to this day he always says to pregnant women, 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.000 so when you have in the twins, he said that 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:35.480 to me times right, And he also did say to me, Um, 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:39.560 you're starting to look pregnant from behind, ye remember with me, 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.800 and your face is starting to look pregnant. Thanks Norm. 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.440 I do love Norm, but still I love him. Um, 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.560 he should be careful to tread lately. Our producer's father 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.600 in law, he said, when she announced her pregnancy, the 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:56.920 first words were, actually, pregnancy is not an excuse, by 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.520 the way, to eat lots of ice cream and gain 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:03.400 a of weight, not congratulations. Were so excited for you? 0:15:03.840 --> 0:15:08.960 So the ice cream not cool. A lot of moms 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:12.040 told me they were sick of hearing wow, you're about 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:15.960 to pop ps. They were like, twenty six weeks. That 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.640 was not something they wanted to hear. People are a 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:22.600 real dream team. Oh, don't make assumptions about a woman's 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:26.080 doo days. Essentially, because healthy babies come in all kinds 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.440 of packages. I can tell you're having a girl because 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.320 you're caring so wide, or you're having a girl because 0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:36.280 girls take your beauty. Well, yeah, you can do the 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:39.760 math on that one. That's really such a compliment. Or 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.800 you're caring so small, and what that does is make 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.600 you worry that something's wrong with the baby. It sounds 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.360 like a compliment, but then it's the way a pregnant 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.640 woman's brain works is she's already going to stress out, 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:57.040 and then you're caring so low, and then you stress 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.440 out that you're gonna have the baby pre term. It's 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.360 not like any one means harm with these comments. You know, 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.240 they're just trying to enjoy your pregnancy with you to 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.240 participate in it. But I think there's a lesson to 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.640 all of us. This was a common thing that mom 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.960 said on your social media, So what were some of 0:16:14.000 --> 0:16:16.720 the things that you heard? To your face? Is so full? 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:22.000 Pregnant too, you're so big. There's no way you're making 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.680 it to your due day. I mean like that kind 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:29.480 of thing, And honestly, like I know myself and that's 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:31.960 your trigger. I feel like you're very different. You know, 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.120 how would you react. I'm a bit of a tongue biter, 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.960 so it would take a lot for me to actually 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:42.560 say what I was really thinking and maybe I'll tell 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.680 someone later. But you know, then again, it's totally fine 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.320 to explode if that's what you're feeling and you need 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.400 to vent. It depends on the day. For me, Like 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.840 I've been known to get into altercations with other people 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:56.160 when it comes to like other people, like I saw 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.440 this guy at Starbucks being mean to this older lady. 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:02.000 I'll totally fight kind of situation when it comes to myself, 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:03.920 Like if I'm pregnant, I feel like I'm a little 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:08.320 bit more measured submissive. So I'm gonna obsess about it 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:12.520 for like eight months internally. Internally, I'm gonna obsess about it. 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.680 I'm gonna cry, it's gonna be at the forefront of 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:17.800 my mind and I'm not gonna get over. But not 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:22.119 just my personality. No, and it's completely valid. So let's 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:25.119 not say this to pregnant women anymore. Just say you 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:42.760 look beautiful. So we asked our community the best advice 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.280 they ever got when they were pregnant and when they 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.640 were new parents, and some of it was motivational, like 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:54.480 you look beautiful, you look like you're flourishing. Enjoy your 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:59.160 body and your waking, enjoy the newborn days. They go 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:05.800 too fast. One that sounded inspirational slash motivational wasn't to 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:08.920 the mom who received it. The person said, you're going 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:14.359 to love being pregnant. Yes, she did not love being pregnant. 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:19.920 Spoiler alert yes, so that that didn't go over so well. 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:24.240 Every mom is different, every reaction is different. Some moms 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:26.720 loved hearing you're not gonna love being pregnant, and some 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:31.200 loved hearing it's okay not to love being pregnant, which 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:34.760 I would say plenty of moms do not love being pregnant. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:41.120 It's really a crapshoot, so to speak as a patient, So, um, 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:44.160 I love this one. Actually, this is great, and this 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.600 is something everyone should say to every pregnant woman that 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:51.080 they care about. Let me know if you need anything 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:55.399 or you need to talk. I mean, that's such a simple, 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.960 great thing to say to her pregnant woman or a 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.840 new mom, and it leaves the door open. It's not 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:04.680 assuming or presuming. Is leaving the door open that if 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.000 she needs something, she knows that she can come to. 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:10.720 And that could be if she's depressed or anxious or 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:14.119 you know, having a really rough time. She knows someone 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:17.960 is there for her, and that's that's a great gift. Exactly. Emma, 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:21.280 you've got some great practical advice for moms on your Instagram. 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:23.800 Oh gosh, somebody, these are so good. Okay, so a 0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:27.560 lot of people recommend journaling. Yeah, I did like two 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:29.560 pages of a journal and I quit. But that's just 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.560 my personality. It's such a great thing. It's really great 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:35.639 for like releasing and just like memories. This is the 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.760 best one. Okay, she said, create an email address now, 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:42.680 send pictures and notes, and give the log in to 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.960 your child when they turn eighteen. That's awesome. Well it's 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:50.560 still work. Yeah, technology change or something. I mean, I've 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:54.160 had a all for like twenty years, that's true. Yeah, 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:56.360 I mean that's kind of like a variation of what 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.720 moms used to do, like write a letter to your baby, 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:02.199 which you can still do, or you can make a 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:06.600 little time capsule. Yeah, so this is like the millennial version. 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.800 I love it. Yeah, me too. Drink lots of water, 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:13.440 don't be ashamed to ask for help, and ask for 0:20:13.480 --> 0:20:16.960 help when you need it. My friend actually said, your mom, 0:20:17.040 --> 0:20:18.800 how do you telling me how to push out a baby? 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:20.879 And the baby was out in six minutes, which is 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:25.320 ironic because I don't listen to anything you say. And 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:28.080 I pushed forever and I couldn't figure out how to push. 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.359 So maybe I should have taken some advice I was. 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:32.800 I was right by your side telling you how to push. 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:35.439 When I didn't. I was just too concerned I was 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.520 going to poop in front of my husband. I did 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:41.320 not want to. So as everybody should know, you push 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:44.600 like you're going to have the biggest poop of your life. 0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:47.159 So I tell this some mom's all the time when 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:50.280 they're worried about the pushing part, I tell them, yeah, 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:54.840 just look down, look down past your belly, and don't 0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:57.199 push with your face, because that's what I did, and 0:20:57.240 --> 0:20:59.240 I ended up with bruce is all over the place. 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:01.040 I just couldn't at how to push. It's just not 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:04.040 my talent um. Other things mom said they loved hearing 0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:08.000 about where pregnancy pillows and prenatal yoga. Many people love it. 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:12.320 The best advice. A mom told me. She told me 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:14.520 she got the best advice and she didn't follow it, 0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:16.520 and then as soon as she didn't follow it, she 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.840 immediately regretted it. And that was to read up and 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:24.240 learn about breastfeeding. I mean that could sound like something judgmental, 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.520 but in fact, the person telling her this was just 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:29.480 giving your heads up that breastfeeding is the natural process. 0:21:29.480 --> 0:21:32.680 It doesn't always come naturally, and she found that out 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:35.560 as soon as she had her baby and wish that 0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:39.520 she had, you know, given herself that grace, but also 0:21:40.000 --> 0:21:42.800 realized that it's a process that you need to learn 0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.160 and that you have to be patient while you're learning. Yeah, 0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:47.040 it's not like the movies where they just latch on 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.679 and it's magical and the angels things. Usually sometimes it 0:21:50.800 --> 0:21:55.280 is something else was stay off Google and so funny 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:59.680 because Emma Roberts posted on Instagram that she had been 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:02.680 Googling a lot, I guess and it's stressed her out. 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:04.439 So then she got a copy of what to expect 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.679 when you're expecting and then she felt calm and happy. 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:11.240 Emma thing, that was really nice. But I totally agree, 0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:16.080 do not google. Step away from the Google. I'm so 0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:18.639 guilty of googling. Step away from the Google. If you 0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:22.440 have any questions, and you know, you can always ask 0:22:22.480 --> 0:22:25.720 me on Facebook or Instagram, but also call your doctor 0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:29.280 or your midwife. Yeah, don't page doctor. Google don't go 0:22:29.359 --> 0:22:32.600 down that rabbit hole. Lots and moms also said get 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:36.480 an epidural. Now, Emma, that's probably your advice that you 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:41.000 give everyone I I do and now. Um. My top 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:43.600 pregnancy advice, and you've all heard this one before is 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:49.600 remember every pregnancy, every pregnant body, every labor and delivery, 0:22:49.880 --> 0:22:53.560 every baby is different. But the funny thing about this 0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:57.040 is that some moms on social media said that this 0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:01.760 advice makes them sick too, and they roll their eyes out. 0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:06.480 But it's true, it's true. But everything makes you roll 0:23:06.560 --> 0:23:08.480 your eyes at some point because you hear it over 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.399 and over and over again, especially from me. I'm sorry, 0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:15.720 I apologize in advance. Apology accepted. Other people's experiences are 0:23:15.800 --> 0:23:21.399 fun to hear sometimes, but they don't reflect your experience. Okay, 0:23:21.400 --> 0:23:24.800 so that's a variation on the theme. And other people's 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:29.600