1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,640 Speaker 1: I had no choice but to invade the ladies room 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: like a total creep. Am I the a hole. 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 2: I mean, how are you invading? Though? 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 3: Let me in, dick out, dick out, let me in. 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 3: I need a pee on over this room. I got 6 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 3: to hear that urine hitting the water step aside? 7 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 2: Why are all these stories urine related? 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: Good question in turns. 9 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 2: In for some trouble. You like pee ah, but then 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 2: you get like me. 11 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty one year old man and I was 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: on a large story yesterday with my five month old son. 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: Uh when he did what babies do? 14 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 2: Poop? 15 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: They poop, they poop, just open their asshole and let 16 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: shit fall out of it. 17 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 2: Wow, that was graphic. Jesus Christ, Josh Wordsmith, my friend. 18 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: You poets, I'm the Shakespeare of shitting. 19 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 2: Man's the Shakespeare shitting the the what's what's a what's 20 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 2: a p? 21 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 1: The Picasso of pissing. 22 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 2: Oh, the h hammingway of hamburgy dark matter from your buttle? 23 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: The I got the block of booty or the block 24 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: of bowel movements. Oh that's good, that's get that's good. 25 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 1: A new mixtape coming to Uh got pif near you? 26 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: Yeah? 27 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: Pissing in your face now. I went over to the 28 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: restrooms and saw that there wasn't a family slash companion restroom. 29 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: Companion restroom. 30 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,559 Speaker 2: It's like the one where you like, the babies go in. 31 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: And you have the little table, and I'm like, who 32 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: am I inviting to be my campaigion in the restroom? 33 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: That's that's interesting. 34 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 2: You gotta be close to them. If you want a 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 2: golden shower, you need a barner. 36 00:01:58,800 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 3: That's true. 37 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: You gotta have someone can trust. That's what they always say. 38 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 2: That's what they always say. 39 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: There's only a men and women's bathroom. I went into 40 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: the men's room and saw that there was a cubicle 41 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: and a few urinals, but no changing table. The sink 42 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: didn't even have a counter. Man, this guy's out of look. 43 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 2: I walked out and oh my god, I just realized 44 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 2: that the sink didn't even have a counter. That means like, 45 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 2: there are people putting poopy diapers on the counter. I 46 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 2: never thought about it, and poopy babies and poopy babies. 47 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 2: There's probably poop on the counter. Yeah, yeah, don't touch 48 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 2: the counter. I don't like the counter. Keep licking all 49 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 2: these counters. 50 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: I walked out and I hunted down and employed ask 51 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 1: where the changing table was. She said it was in 52 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming that there was 53 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,679 Speaker 1: a family slash campaigning restroom on the other side of 54 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: the store. She took me back to where I just was. 55 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: I asked if there was another bathroom and she said no. 56 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: I told her that I was just in the bathroom 57 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: and there was no changing table. She asked to make 58 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: sure and suggested I look again, savage, Did I miss something? 59 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: I was annoyed, but I went back in the men's room. 60 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: No changing table. Still when I came out, the employee 61 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: was gone. Damn terrible employee. Keep in mind, my son 62 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: has been in his poopy diapers this whole time. 63 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 3: Poopy. 64 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: So I give up and head to the ladies room, 65 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: which sure enough has a changing table. There was a 66 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: woman in there washing her hands, and she said, uh, 67 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: wrong bathroom, buddy, Think you open the wrong door there? 68 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 2: Hey, oh, this is twenty twenty two. Anyone can use 69 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 2: any bathroom. 70 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: Why why are you trying to define my gender? M Yeah, 71 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: are you saying, are you assuming my gender? You are 72 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: assuming my gender identity and my baby, my baby suit 73 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: diaper baby identity. So fuck you. 74 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. God. 75 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: I gestured to my son and said there's no changing 76 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: table in the men's room. She laughed and said, oh, bro, 77 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: that sucks, and they walked out. 78 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 2: That's hilarious. 79 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: So I rushed to change him, hoping to be done 80 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: before anyone else walked in. I'm almost done when a 81 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: woman walks in and starts screaming at me. I tried 82 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming. 83 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: Get out of here, you can't be in here. 84 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: Then she just ran out Wow. Finished the diaper and 85 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,799 Speaker 1: rushed out of the bathroom. I saw the woman talking 86 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff. 87 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: What why would you do that? You're you literally have 88 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: the most reasonable. Yeah, he has the baby like it's 89 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: like he has a baby. This baby shat itself, so 90 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: I had to change it. There, I think, throw the 91 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: diaper at this lady, you know. I like that. 92 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 2: I like it if it's the crime. 93 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, 94 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: but I rushed to my car, buckled my son into 95 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: his car seat, and split out of air. 96 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 2: There we go, splash, splash. She were wiping baby's asses, 97 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 2: and then you're out. 98 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: Of that's right. My wife said I absolutely did the 99 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: right thing, but my mom said that I'm an idiot 100 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: and I was a hun two percent in the wrong. 101 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: My sister won't start laughing at me at all. Am 102 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: I the a hole? 103 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:04,840 Speaker 2: No, not the a hole. 104 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: You are sorry.