WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Phone Tag Frustration

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<v Speaker 1>Need lask trust the experienced team at the Lasic Center

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<v Speaker 1>at Evergreen Eye Center. No glasses, no contacts, no limits.

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<v Speaker 1>What will you do? Lesic at Evergreen dot com Rooking

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<v Speaker 1>Jebels Second date Update. Today's second date update is a

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<v Speaker 1>little different than usual because normally when somebody emails us,

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<v Speaker 1>they're complaining like, oh, I've been blowing off or this

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<v Speaker 1>person won't talk to me. Well, apparently the dude on

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<v Speaker 1>the phone today named Andy has been trying to get

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<v Speaker 1>together with the girl that he went out on a

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<v Speaker 1>date with, and she's also been trying to get together

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<v Speaker 1>with him, but they can't seem to connect. And now

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<v Speaker 1>I guess he thinks he needs to do a second

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<v Speaker 1>date update about it? Andy, what's up? How are you? Hey? Good?

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<v Speaker 1>How are you doing? Man? Wow? For that description, it

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<v Speaker 1>sounds pretty bored Andy, Like we're going to be your

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<v Speaker 1>personal assistants trying to get the calendar right for you too. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it is, all right, maybe it's me,

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<v Speaker 1>but we just can't seem to get on the same page. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>why'd you emails for a second date update? Then? If

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<v Speaker 1>you don't think she's blowing you off at first, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't think she would blowing me off, but now I

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<v Speaker 1>think she might be. Okay, maybe it just got too

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<v Speaker 1>frustrating trying to plan something. Well, before we get into

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<v Speaker 1>all that, tell us a little bit about her. Where

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<v Speaker 1>did you meet her? Starbucks? Actually, oh, that's kind of cute.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you approach her? I did, which I usually don't do,

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<v Speaker 1>but she actually kept looking at me, and I just thought,

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<v Speaker 1>as she did, Andy, that's right. Yeah, he just standing

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<v Speaker 1>at the Starbucks all day long, waiting for ladies. It

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<v Speaker 1>finally paid off. Yeah. I mean I didn't know what

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<v Speaker 1>was going on. I thought maybe she would like I

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<v Speaker 1>had a stain on my shirt or I had like

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<v Speaker 1>can yeah, I got a whole lot of sexy on

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<v Speaker 1>your shirt? That's the problem that day? And I did

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<v Speaker 1>What did you say to her? Did you have a

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<v Speaker 1>line or were you up front? How did you approach her?

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<v Speaker 1>I was very upfront. I just said I just got

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<v Speaker 1>to say you're beautiful? I told her straight up. And

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<v Speaker 1>then she took her headphones out and said what Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I had to repeat it again in front of everyone else.

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<v Speaker 1>She really did she really have her headphones? And when

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<v Speaker 1>you walked up there, did Yeah? I didn't notice until afterwards. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well when you said it again, did she seem like

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<v Speaker 1>she liked it? She did, she said thank you? So yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and then what happened? I mean, did you like ask

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<v Speaker 1>for her number or what? Yeah? After some small talk,

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<v Speaker 1>we exchanged not numbers at first, but instagrams okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>because I noticed she was on her Instagram. And then

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<v Speaker 1>we messaged each other back and forth for a while.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, so you haven't been out on an official

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<v Speaker 1>date with her yet at all? Not an official one. No,

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<v Speaker 1>that day. We actually ended up hanging out a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit afterwards after Starbucks. But yeah, nothing official. And how

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<v Speaker 1>was that hanging out? It was fun? Yeah, like we

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<v Speaker 1>went for a little walk. We went up to this

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<v Speaker 1>little hill area that is a nice view, and I

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<v Speaker 1>tried to kiss her. So what right after meeting her

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<v Speaker 1>at Starbucks? Yeah? Yeah, I was feeling the vibe, so

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<v Speaker 1>I just leaned in to kiss her. Whoao, bold, sir,

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<v Speaker 1>very bold? Did you kiss her? Or did she run

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<v Speaker 1>down the hill screaming? She didn't run down a hill screaming,

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<v Speaker 1>but she did pull away. So yeah, the kiss never happened,

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<v Speaker 1>and I felt horrible about it. What did she say?

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<v Speaker 1>She said, I don't kiss on first dates, right or

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<v Speaker 1>like at lunchtime. I'm assuming it was daylight and there

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<v Speaker 1>was no alcohol involved, and you'd only known each other

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<v Speaker 1>for how long at this point, like a half hour? Yeah? So,

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<v Speaker 1>oh yeah? Did she should have you know what? That

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<v Speaker 1>that's very judgmental of her. That's she should have totally

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<v Speaker 1>been looking out with you by then. You know, seriously,

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<v Speaker 1>are you sure you want to even waste your time

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<v Speaker 1>trying to go out with her again? So what happened

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<v Speaker 1>after that? Then? Actually? Yeah, at the end, I tried

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<v Speaker 1>to give her a hug. I said, do you do

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<v Speaker 1>first date hugs? She said, yeah, so I we hugged,

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<v Speaker 1>and then uh, okay we went our separate way after that.

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<v Speaker 1>And you didn't do anything creepy during the hug? Mm Andy,

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<v Speaker 1>be honest, like it wasn't like a little bit too

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<v Speaker 1>long or your hands went south. Oh no, I mean

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<v Speaker 1>I have done creepy stuff what hugs before? But no not,

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<v Speaker 1>because you've probably learned. You've done enough creepy hugs over

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<v Speaker 1>your lifetime that now you know what you should and

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<v Speaker 1>shouldn't do during a hug. That's how I learned. Not

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<v Speaker 1>the lick cheeks. What don't even ask, Andy, don't ask? Yeah, anyway, Andy,

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<v Speaker 1>why do you think she's not calling you back? Then? No,

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<v Speaker 1>actually she did call me. It did. Yeah, that's the

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<v Speaker 1>weird part. She called and left the message the next day.

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<v Speaker 1>What what'd she say on the message? She just said, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>it was great hanging out with you. We should hang

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<v Speaker 1>out again. She did, okay, And so you got back

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<v Speaker 1>to her, right, Like I tried to get back to her.

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<v Speaker 1>I called her back and I left the message, and

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<v Speaker 1>then the next day she texted me back, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I texted her back and we you just haven't been

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<v Speaker 1>able to like connect. It's really annoying. Well, but you said,

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<v Speaker 1>now you think she's blowing you off? Why it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>like you guys just are having a normal conversation. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I think she's blowing me off now because it's been

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<v Speaker 1>like three days I haven't heard back from her, and

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<v Speaker 1>so now I'm thinking maybe she didn't think the hug

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<v Speaker 1>was creepy or something. Probably the kiss, No, maybe, yeah, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a couple of options you could choose from. All Right, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll play a song, come back, and then call her

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<v Speaker 1>and see if she is in fact blowing you off

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<v Speaker 1>with your second day update. All right, okay, great, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>hangs looking jubil in the Morning's right in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of a second date update, and if you're just joining us,

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<v Speaker 1>Andy is on the phone, and today he wants to

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<v Speaker 1>call a girl named Arianna. They didn't even have a

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<v Speaker 1>real date. They met at a Starbucks and then ended

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<v Speaker 1>up going for a walk. Oh and he tried to

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<v Speaker 1>kiss her like thirty minutes after meeting her. That was

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<v Speaker 1>also part of the date. And Andy, I think most

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<v Speaker 1>people would definitely kiss you after meeting you, like more

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<v Speaker 1>than ten minutes. So I don't even know why you

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<v Speaker 1>want to call this weirdo. Are you sure you want

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<v Speaker 1>to call her? She sounds strange to me. No, she's not.

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<v Speaker 1>She's not weird. She's really cool. And hopefully she'll kiss

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<v Speaker 1>me on the second day. Okay, don't push it, Andy,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, you already push it on the first day.

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<v Speaker 1>To Andy, I won't promise. And I would normally think

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<v Speaker 1>it was the kiss or the weird hug, but she

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<v Speaker 1>actually called you and wanted to hang out. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>just you guys haven't been able to connect. Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like she was calling me. I was calling her.

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<v Speaker 1>We texted back and forth, and then it's like she

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<v Speaker 1>just disappeared off the face of the planet. Yeah, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>it's three whole day. Yeah, I feel like we're too

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<v Speaker 1>connected in this world anymore like three days and it

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<v Speaker 1>really does feel like someone just like is dead. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>If someone doesn't respond to a text message within an hour,

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<v Speaker 1>that's like a week. Right back in the early nineteen hundreds,

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<v Speaker 1>that would be a week. All right, Andy, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>dial her phone of her right now, you're ready, let's

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<v Speaker 1>do this. Get her on the phone. I want to

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<v Speaker 1>find out what's going on. Okay, here we go. Hello, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>can I speak to Ariana? Yeah, this is hurt. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? This is Jewil from Brook and Jewel

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<v Speaker 1>in the Morning. Who is that? Who are you? Jewil?

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<v Speaker 1>I host a radio show. It's called Brooke and Jewel

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<v Speaker 1>in the Morning. Um. Okay, you've clearly been a fan

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<v Speaker 1>for a long time, and I thank you for that. Arianna. Yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I've never heard of it. Yeah, yeah, that was my

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<v Speaker 1>my point. I could understand that you hadn't heard it before.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm calling you today because one of our listeners actually

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<v Speaker 1>sent us an email about you. Oh, wait, can you

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<v Speaker 1>get to the point, because I'm love to His name

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<v Speaker 1>is Andy, and you guys met at a coffee shop recently.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, that's not happening. That was a quick no, Arianna. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you mean, I'm not interested in guys that

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<v Speaker 1>play games? You're not didn't guys that play games like

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<v Speaker 1>board games. I don't like people to play board games either,

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm on your side there. Yeah. No, Um what

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<v Speaker 1>did uh? I guess? Like? What did his email say?

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<v Speaker 1>All good things? He said that he really liked meeting

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<v Speaker 1>you and that you guys are trying to plan a date,

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<v Speaker 1>but you disappeared and he hasn't heard from you in

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<v Speaker 1>three days. Oh. He also said he tried to kiss you, like,

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<v Speaker 1>which we thought was like bold. Yeah, yeah it was bold. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>but um, he's breadcrumbing me. So yeah, wait, remind me again.

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<v Speaker 1>Bread crumbing What does that mean? Like he's you know,

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<v Speaker 1>he's stringing me along, Like he's sending me texts and calls.

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<v Speaker 1>They're like, you know, they're nice and everything, but like

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<v Speaker 1>he's not trying to make solid plans with me. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, of course he is. He contacted us to

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<v Speaker 1>get a hold of you, so that you guys could

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<v Speaker 1>get together. I don't know about that. The messages like that,

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<v Speaker 1>he's been leaving me like he's just returning my calls.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like he's an answering service. Okay, so he told us, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we talked to him a little bit to ask him

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<v Speaker 1>about meeting you. He said that you guys have been

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<v Speaker 1>kind of playing phone tag or whatever. Yeah, but phone

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<v Speaker 1>tag is like when you like care about someone, you

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<v Speaker 1>try to get hold of him. Like, he's obviously breadcrumming me,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I'm just going to ghost him. So he's

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<v Speaker 1>breadcrumbing and now you're ghosting? Yeah what I mean? Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>he's just waiting until you guys can actually talk on

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<v Speaker 1>the phone and make a plan. I mean maybe he was,

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<v Speaker 1>but obviously we're both busy. So if we're texting in

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<v Speaker 1>like texts, that's how people make plans. Okay, So you

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<v Speaker 1>think that he's breadcrumbing you because he hasn't tried to

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<v Speaker 1>make official plans yet. Yeah, he's just being nice, but

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<v Speaker 1>he's not like doing anything about it. And I keep

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<v Speaker 1>I keep saying when do you want to hang out?

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<v Speaker 1>When are you free? And he doesn't answer me. What Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>what does he say? In return, like how's your day?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it goes he doesn't message me for hours

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<v Speaker 1>and then just kind of ignores it and it's like

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<v Speaker 1>how are you, how's your day? Which is nice, but

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<v Speaker 1>like he didn't answer my question about when he was free. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you're like scroll up in the text threat man. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>Like he's in breadcuming me for a while, but now

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<v Speaker 1>he's zombiing me. So I'm just over it. Zombiing you?

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<v Speaker 1>What's that one? Which one? Yeah? I don't know which

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<v Speaker 1>one that is? What does that mean? If someone ghost

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<v Speaker 1>to you and then they like come back from the dead,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like they're zombing you. Okay, okay, So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just gonna clear it up real quick. So at first

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<v Speaker 1>you felt like he was breadcrumbing you, and then you

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<v Speaker 1>ghosted him, and then you felt like maybe he ghosted you.

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<v Speaker 1>But now he's zombiing you, and you guys, he's using

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<v Speaker 1>you to zombie me. Yeah, that's so I don't know what. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what you call this part. You probably

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<v Speaker 1>have a word for it. But he's also on the

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<v Speaker 1>other line listening and wants to talk to you right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what, Like resurrecting. Maybe that's resurrecting. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what that would be called. He's not

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<v Speaker 1>really on the phone right now. This is an eighth

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<v Speaker 1>grade Yeah, no, he's on the other line listening and

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<v Speaker 1>wants to talk to you. And yes, our show is

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<v Speaker 1>actually more like sixth grade. But thanks for the Photocoffien.

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<v Speaker 1>Hey I'm here, Arianna. How you doing? Oh my god?

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<v Speaker 1>What is bread crumbing? By the way, I don't even

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<v Speaker 1>know what's me. I was just trying to reach out

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<v Speaker 1>to you. Yeah, you weren't like actually making solid plans

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<v Speaker 1>with me or anything, so I just decided to bench you.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, everyone gets that one. I want to

0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:14.600
<v Speaker 1>hang out with you, Arina. It sounds like you have

0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.200
<v Speaker 1>a term for everything. Yeah, benched me. What does that

0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:20.320
<v Speaker 1>even mean? I mean, it's pretty obvious. I'm gonna go

0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:21.960
<v Speaker 1>out do whatever I want, and I'm gonna have you

0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.400
<v Speaker 1>sit on the sideline because you need to make a move.

0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm playing well in the game, so like I gotta

0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:31.360
<v Speaker 1>put you on the bench. You know what I mean?

0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:35.680
<v Speaker 1>What I've been playing good. I texted you, I called you.

0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 1>I just we haven't been able to make a connection.

0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:42.280
<v Speaker 1>Why are you benching me. He sounds so sad, Arianna.

0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:46.920
<v Speaker 1>He shouldn't sound sad like he zombied me. I mean

0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:50.360
<v Speaker 1>zombing brad Crow. I had to write those rooms down before.

0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:53.280
<v Speaker 1>I never even heard of all. But I mean, can't

0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 1>we just like talk in English? I mean, but those

0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:59.320
<v Speaker 1>are all English words. But Arianna, I mean, here's here's

0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.440
<v Speaker 1>the thing. When you're using all those terms and you're

0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:05.000
<v Speaker 1>like labeling everything that he does in a different way,

0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.360
<v Speaker 1>it almost sounds like you're the one playing the game,

0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:10.040
<v Speaker 1>not him. I am not playing games. He's the one

0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 1>who is playing games. I've already explained everything that he's

0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.520
<v Speaker 1>done to me, like I'm the victim here, like I'm

0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:20.360
<v Speaker 1>benching him. Yeah, I feel like you know all the

0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.920
<v Speaker 1>terms and you've played this game for a long time now, Arianna,

0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:25.080
<v Speaker 1>So you know when somebody's playing a game on you, Andy,

0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:28.960
<v Speaker 1>why would you breadcrum her like that? I was not

0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:34.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what that means, but well whatever, Zombie Andy,

0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 1>like to your defense, listen, An, he directly told you

0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.760
<v Speaker 1>that you're beautiful in a Starbucks. Like that's really direct.

0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:43.640
<v Speaker 1>He tried to kiss you thirty minutes into the day.

0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:45.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like, how much more can he say? Like

0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:48.080
<v Speaker 1>I am into you. I don't know what else I

0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 1>need to say, Like I've already told you guys everything,

0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:54.719
<v Speaker 1>Like what else am I supposed to say? I don't understand. Well,

0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:58.640
<v Speaker 1>someone just please explained to her that I like her

0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.760
<v Speaker 1>and I want to go on another date and I

0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:06.240
<v Speaker 1>want to be or whatever. I'll do that for you Andy, Arianna,

0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.000
<v Speaker 1>would you go on a second date with Andy? We

0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 1>will pay for it. He does want to go out

0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.080
<v Speaker 1>with you again. He's not throwing breadcrumbs in your face.

0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.000
<v Speaker 1>He'll name a time and place immediately, yes, and we'll

0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:20.120
<v Speaker 1>pay for it. Actually, I don't have an exact time

0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:23.320
<v Speaker 1>or place right now, but i'll text you later for sure.

0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.360
<v Speaker 1>There you go, Arianna, what do you say? One more date?

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:31.280
<v Speaker 1>We'll pay for it. Do you see what I'm dealing with? Okay? Hi?

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.520
<v Speaker 1>Actually I mean this whole time, I've been against you,

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.760
<v Speaker 1>but I kind of get it now, Arianna, Like, just

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.800
<v Speaker 1>set a date like I we're not getting married, like

0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I know, I want it to be special. I have

0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:48.440
<v Speaker 1>to think about it. Yeah, that's frustrating. No, I'm with her.

0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, this is all happening. You just shat it

0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 1>right now I can't take something off top of my head,

0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.000
<v Speaker 1>but I will have fun. Trust me, trust me, you know.

0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.199
<v Speaker 1>And Andy, like, you're officially bench right now. If I'm

0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:05.839
<v Speaker 1>interested later, like I'll text you, oh man, oh yeah,

0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:08.960
<v Speaker 1>so you're saying, Arianna, if you zombie him, then you're

0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.200
<v Speaker 1>okay going out again? Yeah? Andy, I'm gho seeing you

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>right now. And if I decided to talk to you,

0:14:14.000 --> 0:14:19.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, zombie you. Okay, I'm so confused right now,

0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:23.400
<v Speaker 1>what's happening? I mean, sorry you didn't get a second

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 1>date though, Andy, and I think we need to be

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.120
<v Speaker 1>officially done because I need to go to Erman dictionary

0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:28.720
<v Speaker 1>right now and figure out what the hell just happened.

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:33.560
<v Speaker 1>In the text in at seven eight five nine two

0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:35.960
<v Speaker 1>says I don't really know what happened with that second

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:39.320
<v Speaker 1>date update, but at least now I know what breadcrumbing, zombiing,

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:45.360
<v Speaker 1>and resurrecting is in dating terminology. If you missed it,

0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:48.280
<v Speaker 1>Alex wanted to call Arianna. She wasn't calling him back.

0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 1>They're playing phone tag. She would go away then come

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>back and everything else. We got her on the phone.

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.320
<v Speaker 1>She said that Alex was breadcrumbing her. Yeah, like saying

0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 1>he was gonna make plans but never making plans. And

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 1>then she went away and then came back and apparently

0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 1>that's zombiing. And there was a whole lot of words

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 1>that she used. She's been reading too many blogs about

0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.800
<v Speaker 1>dating online, but they is she was spot on with

0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 1>his behavior. I mean because at the very end, he's like, yeah,

0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to take you out. I'm not sure when,

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, I think it's going to happen. So he

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 1>was still doing it. They agreed to not go out,

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.200
<v Speaker 1>maybe because she said she might zombie him at some point,

0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 1>I means bring him back with all these terms, like

0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.720
<v Speaker 1>if you tell someone you're dating nowadays, they're like, what

0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.920
<v Speaker 1>is dating? Yeah, I don't know what that means. Are

0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.920
<v Speaker 1>you zombing? Are you breadcrumbing? Or don't know? We're just dating? What? Yeah?

0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Are we shale? What is that? That one sounds fun? Yeah?

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.800
<v Speaker 1>Why not? Remember? If you want a second date update,

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:53.120
<v Speaker 1>all you have to do is email the show and

0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.120
<v Speaker 1>we will call the person who breadcrumbed you or zombie

0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.640
<v Speaker 1>do you or just didn't call you back