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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject he loves my love, handles and dimples.

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Speaker 1: All right, get into this one, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty nine years old, and I'm sad to say that

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Speaker 1: I've been a side chick for most of my adult life.

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Speaker 1: I got used to men saying they were in a

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Speaker 1: terrible marriage or they weren't married at all. So I

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Speaker 1: started calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I

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Speaker 1: was sleeping with. Earlier this year, I started going to

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Speaker 1: church regularly, and I was celibate for three months. Then

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Speaker 1: I met a really great guy named Jarvis. Jarvis is

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Speaker 1: my preacher's nephew, so I figured he's a stand up guy.

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Speaker 1: He said he was attracted to me because I'm always

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Speaker 1: smelling good. He said he loves my love handles and

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Speaker 1: the dimples in my butt. He asked me to be

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. I had to investigate

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Speaker 1: him first though. I found him on Facebook and I

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Speaker 1: saw pictures of his skinny girlfriend all over his page.

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Speaker 1: There was a video where he played a prank on her,

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Speaker 1: like he was about to ask her to marry him

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Speaker 1: on April Fool's Day. She and I have nothing in common.

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Speaker 1: She's short and skinny, and she doesn't have any booty.

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Speaker 1: I was honest with Jarvis and told him that I

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Speaker 1: found his girlfriend's picture. I asked him if he prefer

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Speaker 1: if he prefers skin and bones or meat on the bones.

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Speaker 1: He said he wants me and he's done with her

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Speaker 1: because she doesn't want to get married. But he's stuck

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Speaker 1: with her because they live together and she doesn't have

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Speaker 1: any friends or family to go live with. I told

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Speaker 1: him he can live with me, so he moves some

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Speaker 1: of his stuff into my place. He spends most of

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Speaker 1: his time with me, but he doesn't want to be

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Speaker 1: mean because he doesn't want to be mean to his ex,

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Speaker 1: so he goes by to check on her once a week.

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Speaker 1: I feel really bad for her because she doesn't know

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Speaker 1: he plans to move out. Do you think it would

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Speaker 1: be easier for her if I told her? Okay, messy,

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Speaker 1: messy boots. Should you call and tell his girlfriend that

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Speaker 1: he plans to move out? No, of course you shouldn't

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Speaker 1: do that. I mean, what is that going to do?

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Speaker 1: But get your butt whooped again. I know it won't

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Speaker 1: be the first time you've had an encounter with the

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Speaker 1: wives and girlfriends of your men. You said you started

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Speaker 1: calling wives and girlfriends when the men told you their stories,

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Speaker 1: so I'm sure it didn't end well when you did that.

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Speaker 1: This is not your responsibility to contact these women. Ask yourself,

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Speaker 1: why aren't the men telling them? Because telling them, of course,

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Speaker 1: ruins the risk, or runs the risk, I should say,

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Speaker 1: of them losing everything and everybody. I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: too much of a gamble for them. But they still

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Speaker 1: don't need you to call them and tell these men

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Speaker 1: that you're with keep you on the side like coleslaw,

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Speaker 1: and go home whenever they want to. That's the real

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Speaker 1: issue here. So you need to move on. You can

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Speaker 1: stay in this mockery of a relationship if you want to,

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Speaker 1: although I don't know why you would because you have nothing.

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Speaker 1: You've been the Coleslaw most of your adult life. You

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Speaker 1: said that, and you're thirty nine years old. Don't you

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Speaker 1: think it's time for a change, Steve?

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Speaker 2: All right, here we go. Let's just go on to

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Speaker 2: get into the letter. Anyway, Cole slough Side, all this

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Speaker 2: red beans and rice you know, tell me about she

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Speaker 2: got it from some TV Still, I ain't never seen

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Speaker 2: any damn TV show, did Steven Shirley. I'm thirty nine

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Speaker 2: years old, and I'm sad to say, here's the key

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Speaker 2: to this whole letter, y'all. I've been a side shit

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Speaker 2: for most of my adult life. I got used to

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Speaker 2: me and saying they was in terrible managers or wasn't

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Speaker 2: married at all. So I started calling and girlfriends of

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Speaker 2: men that I was sleeping with. Oh, so you turn

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Speaker 2: it into what is this a business on side hustle?

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Speaker 2: What is you you know? Home wrecking? Are you in

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Speaker 2: salvage marriage? Salvage business? I don't know what you were in.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what the cause was about. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: then earlier this year you started going to church regularly

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Speaker 2: and I was celibate for three months down, you been

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Speaker 2: out there strong. For a woman to say, I've been

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Speaker 2: celibate for three months, that's that's like they women can

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Speaker 2: do that easy. I've been celibate for three months.

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Speaker 1: Huh, it's not easy, but they can do it. It's

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Speaker 1: not easy.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm just you know, I'm just learning quite a

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Speaker 2: bit today. I was just in a complimentary ways. Easier

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Speaker 2: more women can do it, and easier for a woman

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Speaker 2: to do it for three months. You know, I don't

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Speaker 2: see anyway. Okay, Well, so anyway, she started going to

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Speaker 2: church and was celibate for three months. Then I met

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Speaker 2: this really great guy named Jarvis. Now Jarvis is the

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Speaker 2: preacher's nephew, so I figured he was a stand up guy.

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Speaker 2: He said he's attracted to me because I always smell good.

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Speaker 2: Said he loves my love handles and the dimples in

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Speaker 2: my butt. Now, wait a minute, Wait a minute. You've

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Speaker 2: been celibate for three months. How this Jarvis get to

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Speaker 2: the love handles and the dimples in the butt. I'm

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Speaker 2: just curious. So this is after unless you're saying after

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Speaker 2: three months, then you got involved with Jarvis and he

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Speaker 2: discovered your love handles and dimples. Okay, Then that's whatever, lady.

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Speaker 2: I just don't know where you're going with this letter,

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Speaker 2: but I do have an idea. He asked me to

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Speaker 2: be his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. So he asked

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Speaker 2: you to be the girlfriend after he saw your love

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Speaker 2: handles and dimples in you butt all right. I had

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Speaker 2: to investigate him first, though, Oh this is You've never

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Speaker 2: done this before, So now you investigate a reporter. You

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Speaker 2: saw pictures, and that was a video of him playing

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Speaker 2: a prank on his girlfriend. She was skinny. He was

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Speaker 2: about to ask her to marry him on able Fool's Day.

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Speaker 2: She and I ain't got nothing to come. She's short

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Speaker 2: and skinny. I'm big and wide. Now this is not

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Speaker 2: in the letter, but I'm assuming what Well, you know

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Speaker 2: Coleslaw wasn't in the letter, but you read that too anyway,

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Speaker 2: So anyway, it'll just being the creative. Anyway, when I

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Speaker 2: come back, I'm going to tell you what's really happening

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Speaker 2: in this letter, and it won't be nice.

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Speaker 1: It will have heart too. Of Steve's response coming up

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Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: subject he loves my love handles and dimples. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening morning show?

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: The subject is love is my love handles and dimples.

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Speaker 2: Well, this woman who has spent the majority majority of

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Speaker 2: her adult life as a side chick. In the words

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Speaker 2: of my co host Cold Slow, those words she says

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Speaker 2: she got from off of a TV show which I've

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Speaker 2: never seen. Well, that ain't where I got it from.

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Speaker 2: I think we all know where you've got this from.

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Speaker 2: You're not going to talk about no damn TV show anyway, Tommy,

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Speaker 2: thank you. I got used to me and saying they

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Speaker 2: was in terrible marriages and everything. And then so I

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Speaker 2: was calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I

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Speaker 2: was sleeping with. I don't know if she's into a

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Speaker 2: marriage salvage business or home wrecking company. I don't know

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Speaker 2: what she in, but she's made a habit of this

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Speaker 2: her adult life. Then she started going to church regularly, regularly,

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Speaker 2: and I will celebrated for three months. Okay, I got it.

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Speaker 2: She was celebrated for three months. Then I met a

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Speaker 2: really gay, great guy named Jarvis. So after the three

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Speaker 2: months she met Jovis, I got it. Now, so she's

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Speaker 2: a preacher's nephew. So she figured he was a good dude.

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Speaker 2: He said he was attracted to me because I'm always

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Speaker 2: smelling good and he loves my love handles and the

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Speaker 2: dimples in my butt. Okay, he asked me to be

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Speaker 2: his girlfriend. I got butterflies. I had to investigate him first, though, Well,

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Speaker 2: I guess that's like you've done everybody else. I found

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Speaker 2: him on Facebook and a book, and I saw pictures

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Speaker 2: of his skinny girlfriend all over his page. That was

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Speaker 2: a video. He played a prank on her, like he

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Speaker 2: was about to ask her the Marijuan ain't for Fool's day.

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Speaker 2: She and I have nothing in common. She's short and skinny.

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Speaker 2: I'm thick and wide, tall and wide, and she don't

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Speaker 2: have any booty, and I got a whole lot of

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Speaker 2: junk in the trunk. Now this ain't in the letter,

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Speaker 2: but that's what That's what she said, she said. She said,

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Speaker 2: though I have nothing in common with her, she's short

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Speaker 2: and skinny, so I'm figuring she's tall and not skinny.

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Speaker 2: Why then, she said, and she has no booty. You

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Speaker 2: can't have no booty and dimples too, now, because the

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Speaker 2: dimples got to set on something. I ask him if

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Speaker 2: he preferred skin and bones or meat on the bones.

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Speaker 2: He says he wants me and he's done with her

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Speaker 2: because she don't want to get married. But he's stuck

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Speaker 2: with her because they live together and she don't have

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Speaker 2: any friends or family to go with. And of all

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Speaker 2: the men, married men and boyfriends you've dated, you ain't

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Speaker 2: heard this line before. Because this line sounds very familiar.

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Speaker 2: Standard is stock. This is a stock line that married

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Speaker 2: me and used when they talking to women. I told

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Speaker 2: him he can come live with me, so he moved.

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Speaker 2: Listen to this. Now he moved some of his stuff

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Speaker 2: into my place. Okay, he got toothbrush over there. Now,

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Speaker 2: got some T shirts, sock compare draws. He spends most

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Speaker 2: of his time with me, but he doesn't want to

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Speaker 2: be mean to his ex, so he goes by to

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Speaker 2: check on her once a week. See now, I'm not

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Speaker 2: really sure that that's how this working, lady, because if

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Speaker 2: he lives with her but he don't want to be mean,

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Speaker 2: but he spending most of his time with you, but

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Speaker 2: he go by to check on her once a week,

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Speaker 2: what is he telling her that? Where is he at

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Speaker 2: the rest of this time, because I promise you, he

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Speaker 2: ain't telling her that he over there with you. I

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Speaker 2: feel really bad to her because she doesn't know he

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Speaker 2: plans to move out. Do you think it would be

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Speaker 2: easier for her if I told her? Oh so here

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Speaker 2: we go now? Oh so now you want to go

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Speaker 2: back and you wanna do your emo. First of all,

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Speaker 2: you're dating another man that's already in a relationship, because

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Speaker 2: that's what you do. You have practice at it, and

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Speaker 2: that's what you attract. You always attract men that's not available,

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Speaker 2: and you always accept them because you allow them to

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Speaker 2: say the same old thing. I'm in a horrible relationship.

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Speaker 2: She don't want to get married. I do. I'm unhappy

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Speaker 2: with her. You've heard this one hundred times or how

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Speaker 2: many other times you done been in these relationship And

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Speaker 2: so the reason you call the wives and the girlfriends

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Speaker 2: is because you're miserable and you want everybody else to

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Speaker 2: be miserable. You also call them because you have nobody,

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Speaker 2: and now you want them to have nobody. But you

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Speaker 2: could stop this vicious cycle by once you find out

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Speaker 2: that the man is committed relationship, don't go over there.

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Speaker 2: But you don't have room for a healthy relationship because

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Speaker 2: you keep partaking in these half relationships that never get

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Speaker 2: you anywhere? What is wrong with you? Don't you see

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Speaker 2: that you're doing this to yourself. And when you call

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Speaker 2: all these girlfriends and these wives, what do you hope

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Speaker 2: to accomplish? Ain't none of those men's wives or girlfriends

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Speaker 2: that you call and left. Ain't none of the men

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Speaker 2: with you today. So now you're gonna do this same

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Speaker 2: thing to this man, and you gonna call her and

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Speaker 2: then you try to put the little why don't know

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Speaker 2: what you go to church for, but you're gonna try

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Speaker 2: to put the little church spin on it. Do you

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Speaker 2: think it would be easier for her if I told her?

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Speaker 1: What?

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Speaker 2: How you think that's gonna be easier? A woman get

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Speaker 2: a call from another woman talking about your man is

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Speaker 2: with me? You think that it'll be easy? Now you

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Speaker 2: try to be the same funky person you being, and

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Speaker 2: you're gonna get the same funky results you've been getting

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Speaker 2: because you're gonna lose Javis, just like you'd have lost

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Speaker 2: everybody else, because Javis ain't yours again. Congratulations, Until you

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Speaker 2: stop it, it will never stop, all right.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter It's Never the

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Speaker 1: Fm on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it.

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Speaker 2: Never Sounded So good. Guys.

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Speaker 1: Downloaded today coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,

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Speaker 1: call you from Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show