1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: While we hope couch Talks can be a tool that 2 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy 4 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: or any mental health services. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 2: Good break it down. 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,640 Speaker 3: If you ever have feelings that you just fallsome, Amy 7 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 3: and Cat got you covin locking, No, brother, ladies and felons, 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 3: do you just follow an the spirit where it's ounds 9 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 3: phone or real stuff to the chill stuff and the 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 3: m but sway. Sometimes the best thing you can do 11 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 3: it just stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things 12 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 3: with Amy and Kat. 13 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 2: Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and a 14 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 2: episode to the Feeling Things podcast. 15 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 4: I'm Amy and I'm Cat and Kat. 16 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 2: Apparently women cannot focus on a conversation if they feel their. 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,920 Speaker 1: Outfit is just okay, I feel that. 18 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 4: Wait, your outfit is so cute today? 19 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: Well you just feel that today? No, I feel that 20 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: in general, like, oh yeah, I do too. If you 21 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: don't like your outfit, then it affects your experience. 22 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 2: Apparently, feeling confident in an outfit can affect more than 23 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 2: just your appearance. A study showed that many women said 24 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 2: they find it harder to fully focus on a conversation 25 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: when they feel just okay about what they're wearing. And 26 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: this was like women only guys didn't have this problem. 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Well, I was going to add to that. 28 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: What affects me sometimes even more than if I like 29 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: my outfit, is if I'm comfortable in my outfit, because 30 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: sometimes I like my outfit, But if I'm constantly like, 31 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: am I boob showing? Or is this whatever? Is this 32 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: too short? Like if I'm worried about any part of it. 33 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: If I'm not super comfortable, That's what affects me. So 34 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: I'm feeling great because I'm full coverage baggy outfit. 35 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 2: Right? 36 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 4: Is this little onesie outfit from or what's it called? 37 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 4: Like a jumper? 38 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: A jumper? This is Free People And I bought it 39 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: when I first found out I was pregnant because I 40 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: was like, oh that I could wear that throughout my pregnancy, 41 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: so cute whatever, But you know how Free People off 42 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: is so long and I'm short, so it was like 43 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,799 Speaker 1: five inches too long, and then I was too I 44 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: don't want to say lazy. I hate taking things to 45 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: get them altered. I it's just a task that I dread, 46 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: so I didn't do it, and then I just had 47 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: the thought to try it on the other day. And 48 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: because my stomach protrudes, I no longer have to get 49 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: it hemmed. 50 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 4: Oh perfect, Yeah, so pulled it on up. 51 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: All right, we got our first email. This is from Carissa, Hey, 52 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 2: Amy and Kat. I'm thirty seven, I live in Texas 53 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 2: and I'm a mom of a ten year old girl, 54 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: and last Thursday was my four year stab aversary, on 55 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: the same day your forced Forgiveness episode came out. 56 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 4: Well, this is us talking here. 57 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 2: When I first read that stab aversary and then I 58 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 2: read the rest of the email and I got it. 59 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 2: But yes, you heard me correctly, stab aversary meaning she 60 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 2: got stabbed, say anniversary of her years ago, and then 61 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 2: she listened to our podcasts. Happened to be that day 62 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 2: force forgiveness, which we weren't saying you should force forgive anything, 63 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 2: by the way, It was just a Kat explaining what 64 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 2: force forgiveness is. Backstory, I work in retail and a 65 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 2: male associate attacked me with a box cutter, stabbing me 66 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 2: four times. 67 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 4: Thankfully I was mostly okay. 68 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: I can now talk about it with no anxiety and 69 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: even laugh at some of the facts, like when I screamed, 70 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 2: the other manager who was in the back thought I 71 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 2: was screaming because of a bug. Now back to the 72 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 2: Force Forgiveness episode that was the last piece. 73 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 4: Of my healing journey. I don't wish him any harm. 74 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: In fact, in my victim's statement, I even told him 75 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 2: that I hoped that he would get the help he needed. 76 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 2: I have compassion for him in the sense that he 77 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: didn't have the tools to silence his demons, and I 78 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: have slowly learned to forgive him, while it took a 79 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 2: lot of work to get here. Some family and friends 80 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 2: don't understand my feelings. I hated him for the first 81 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 2: two years as I continued therapy and worked through triggers 82 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 2: that I realized that doesn't do me any. 83 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 4: Good to hate him. 84 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 2: Instead, I do hope that he's okay and he's gotten help. 85 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 2: The Bobby Bone Show got me through my darkest days, 86 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 2: and once I found this podcast, I was hooked. I 87 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 2: feel like I'm part of the conversation, laughing and crying 88 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 2: with you all. 89 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 4: Thanks for all you do. 90 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 2: Also, congrats to Kat on your pregnancy and Amy. 91 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 4: I've loved seeing your glow up. 92 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 2: Chris ab PS, if you end up reading this, you 93 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 2: can use my name. I just saw the PS part 94 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 2: and I was like, I thought you quick glance. It 95 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 2: was like, PS, if you read this, don't use my name. 96 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 2: And I said it at the very beginning. 97 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 4: Ah, that's a lot. 98 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, working in retail is scary. Have you done? Have 99 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: you worked in retail? 100 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 4: I mean, I know you worked at the limited too. 101 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 1: Was of your frame and I had a scary encounter, 102 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: like nobody stabbed me, but working at the mall and 103 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: there's all kinds of. 104 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 2: But this was a fellow associate. Oh it wasn't a customer. 105 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: Oh I'm missing, she. 106 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 2: Said, a male associate attacked me with a box cutter. 107 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 108 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 2: So when you're I assumed they're back in the back 109 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 2: cutting open boxes. 110 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 4: That's why he had the box cutter. 111 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: She said. Her boss was in the back, so she 112 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: was how it happen on the floor. 113 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 4: Well, I think, well whatever, it doesn't matter. That's the detail. 114 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 2: She still got sacked and her manager thought she was 115 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 2: screaming because of a bug. 116 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: Oh okay, well that's even scarier. I know. 117 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 2: But to the forgiveness part in her her family and 118 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 2: friends not understanding how she's able to do it. 119 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: Do you have any thoughts, Well, I understand. I get that, Like, 120 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: it's okay for other people to have their defensive of 121 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 1: you and protective of you and so, like they have 122 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 1: all those feelings for you, so it makes sense that 123 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: you would be able to move on friendly than them 124 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: because that's what you needed. And I think that's okay. 125 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: I think it's okay for people to be confused by that. 126 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: You don't need to always have everybody understand everything for 127 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: it to feel right. You don't need to always have 128 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: everybody understand everything for it to feel right. 129 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 4: Definitely not. 130 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,599 Speaker 2: This is totally totally different, But it's making me think 131 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 2: of some parenting things that I had to do along 132 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 2: with my ex husband, like choices we had to make 133 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: and how we parent our adopted children that have a 134 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:45,599 Speaker 2: different life experience than other kids. And there were some 135 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 2: people directly in our lives, family and friends, that were 136 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 2: questioning some of our methods which were good for us 137 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 2: and given to us by therapists, and they were questioning 138 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 2: it and we had to say, like, well, this is 139 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 2: what works for us, and your thoughts on this are 140 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 2: just not gonna matter. But I knew they were coming 141 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: from a place of love and care. They just wanted 142 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 2: us to do it differently. But it's it's the way 143 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 2: different but same of like, yeah, it's sweet that you care, 144 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 2: and this is what I need to do. 145 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: And it's also the way people share that they disagree, 146 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 1: Like if somebody says to you, well, you shouldn't have 147 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: forgiven them, like something's wrong with you. If you can 148 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 1: forgive that person or something along those lines, that's a 149 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: little different than like, I'm happy that you're able to 150 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: forgive that person. I don't know that I can never 151 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: do that for you. You see how that's different because 152 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: that can just sound like judgmental and for you and 153 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: in your circumstances, it's one thing of somebody is like, oh, 154 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: that's interesting that I I'm a little confused by this 155 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: in some way versus you're doing it wrong or you 156 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: shouldn't do that, or you're gonna make a big mistake. 157 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 2: Why Why is saying yeah, yeah, I'm glad you found 158 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 2: tools though, or hope for you to work for you. 159 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 2: That's not how we do with our kids, and I'm 160 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 2: curious to see how this works out. 161 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, why is one word I've shared this with 162 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: you before that they kind of try to knock out 163 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: of you when you are training to become a therapist 164 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: because it is so it can make somebody feel very 165 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: defensive and it's very accusatory. So when I say why 166 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: did you do that? Feels different than like I'm curious 167 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: about that decision. You're still kind of asking the same thing, 168 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: but I'm curious of how you got there, or I'm 169 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: curious how that's going to work for you, or something 170 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: like that feels like I'm interested, I'm curious versus why. 171 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: It just feels like I have to defend myself. 172 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 2: Then well, Chris, I'm really sorry that that happened to you, 173 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: and I'm thankful that you've found the tools. 174 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 4: That are helping you. 175 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 2: Kat what happened to you at Limited too with a 176 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 2: weird customer. 177 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:56,679 Speaker 1: So thank you for asking I it was like night, 178 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: it was almost close time. And you can tell when 179 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 1: somebody's shoplifting because they usually have it or back then 180 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: there wasn't like security cameras and stuff or anything like that. 181 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: Security was just different in general. Back then, you can 182 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: tell in somebody's shoplifting they have big bags. Sometimes they're 183 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,719 Speaker 1: lined with a little foil, so the sensors don't go off. 184 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 4: Whatever. 185 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: Well, we saw these two people that were clearly stealing stuff, 186 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 1: and you're not supposed to say anything, Like you're not 187 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: supposed to directly say anything to them if I was 188 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: supposed to go to a manager. And then what you 189 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: do is you just follow them around and you just 190 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: make them feel like you're being extra customer servicey, but 191 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: you don't ever say like, I saw you put in 192 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: that in your back. Well, we were at the front 193 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: of the stoor and this lady literally took something and 194 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: put it in her bag right in front of me. 195 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: These were professional shoplifters. They knew the rules, they knew 196 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: and so I said to my manager. I was like, 197 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: her name was Heather, and I was like, Heather, she 198 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: just put something in her bag. And this woman got 199 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 1: in my face and said something. I think she called 200 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 1: me baby. She did call me baby. She was like baby, 201 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: reached her hand down into her shirt, pulled out a 202 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: lot of cash and threw it on the table and 203 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: she goes, I don't need to steal anything, and I 204 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: just was like, and she picked up all of her money, 205 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: walked out, and of course the censor the alarm went off. 206 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: But she didn't heed him money. She didn't leave the money. 207 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,199 Speaker 1: She was showing me that she has all this money. 208 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 2: I'm glad else she was grabbing this money. I thought 209 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 2: you were gonna say she reached into her shirt and 210 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 2: pulled out a gun. 211 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, well she could have. And that I learned a 212 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 1: huge lesson because obviously I'm like, she's doing something wrong. 213 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,560 Speaker 1: She has to be stopped, and they are like, this 214 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,959 Speaker 1: merchandise is not worth you getting hurt. So if they 215 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: steal stuff, it is frustrating. This This to me is 216 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,200 Speaker 1: like justice. I'm like, they shouldn't be allowed to just 217 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: get away with it. But there it is not worth it. 218 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: They could steal one thousand dollars worth of stuff, which 219 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 1: at limited two back then honestly was easy to do 220 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 1: because their stuff was so expensive for kids. But we 221 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: don't want you to put yourself in danger. And I 222 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: was like thank you, and then they're like, don't ever 223 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: do that again. I was like, got it, got it. 224 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: So I never did nice and she had a lot 225 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: of free stuff, So I guess I think. 226 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 2: Overall blanket lost for lost prevention type yeah, rolls or 227 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 2: just let them go right. 228 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: They made me watch a couple of extra loss prevention 229 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: videos after that. 230 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 2: Like universally, it's like, yeah, we don't want to be 231 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 2: held responsible for you losing your life over a tank top. 232 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: Right, well, and then I think you could like call 233 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: the mall security, but they're also not going to do 234 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: that much either, so there was no box cutter situation 235 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: though like that. I'm grateful that that's all that happened. 236 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 2: Hey, I've been seeing this man for about one point 237 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 2: five months now. 238 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 4: He is great. Would you say one and a half 239 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 4: or one point five? 240 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 1: I'd say one and a half. 241 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 2: I know, but they wrote at one point five and 242 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 2: I would write it that way too, but then I 243 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 2: would verbalize. 244 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 4: It one and a half. So I don't know why 245 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 4: I just did that. 246 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 2: One point five months now, he is great. He tells 247 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 2: me how beautiful I am. He treats me well, and 248 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: I like spending time with him. He's much older than me, 249 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 2: about eighteen years. I do not feel physically attracted to him, 250 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 2: and I was hoping that eventually that might come around. 251 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 2: But I don't know if it's fair for me to 252 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 2: continue a relationship without a physical connection. I guess my 253 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 2: question is is it bad for me to continue to 254 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 2: see him and spend time with him knowing that the 255 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 2: physical spark is not there. 256 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:38,679 Speaker 4: That's first part. 257 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 2: Next advice I would love is what and where to 258 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: visit while I'm in Nashville in October. I know about 259 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 2: the normal tourist spots, but are there any cool spots 260 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 2: that regulars hang out in or go to that rock, 261 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 2: whether it's a bar, restaurant, or landmark? Thank you in advance. 262 00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 2: Fifty year old single woman from Colorado. Wow, she found 263 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,439 Speaker 2: herself a sixty eight year old. 264 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: I did that too, but I'm I'm. 265 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 2: Like, if I were to date somebody eighteen years older 266 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 2: than me, like I'm at getting to the point where 267 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 2: you am, he would be. 268 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,239 Speaker 4: In his sixties. 269 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 270 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 2: And I used to think I couldn't see myself dating 271 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,959 Speaker 2: someone in their fifties, but now I easily could, and I. 272 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 4: Do and I have and I did and I did. 273 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 4: But see, this doesn't sound that weird to me. 274 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,959 Speaker 2: But I get the whole physical attraction part. I think 275 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 2: that that's an important piece. 276 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: So if her question is she knows it's not going 277 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: to grow, because she mentioned like I thought it was 278 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 1: going to grow, I fully believe that the more you 279 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 1: get to know somebody. This is true. I believe this, 280 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: and this has been proven. People change, like the way 281 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: they look, the way you see them changes, and so 282 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,720 Speaker 1: if you get to know somebody and you really really 283 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: really are into them emotionally, then they will become more 284 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: attractive to you. But if she's she feels like she's 285 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 1: given that enough time, then my question would be like, 286 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,720 Speaker 1: what is she doing. Is she waiting for that to 287 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: grow or she just like enjoys him enough so and 288 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: she's not that serious about it. 289 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 2: I mean, she could maybe give him a little more time, 290 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,160 Speaker 2: but I think she likes the other things that he offers, 291 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: which relationships. Remember, it's like you can't expect your partner 292 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 2: to fill every single thing in your life, but physical 293 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 2: part is partner part. 294 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 4: You can't get that physical. 295 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 2: From anybody else if you're in a monogamous relationship. Yeah, 296 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 2: so it's like, you know, if he's not that funny, 297 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 2: it's like, oh, well, you can have your funny friends 298 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 2: and they fill that void. 299 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 4: But if you don't have. 300 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: Physical you can't really be like, hey, friend, can you 301 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 2: feel this physical part for me? 302 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 4: Like that's just not going to happen. 303 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 2: So, oh, that's a tough one because if you have, 304 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 2: if you're getting so many other things from him that 305 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 2: feel good and then that one thing is lacking, I 306 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 2: feel like I can kind of speak to that a 307 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 2: little bit. You and I know that there's somebody in 308 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 2: my life where it's kind of like that. Oh, like 309 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 2: there's so many boxes that get checked and then it's 310 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 2: just like the attraction is just not there and it's. 311 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: Like, well, dang, but they'll never give it a shot. No, yeah, 312 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 1: because because you know, you know, it's not like she 313 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: she didn't know this person before she started dating him, 314 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 1: so she's giving a shot to see if that grows. Right. 315 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 2: So, I but I think that it's old. It's still 316 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 2: only been one point five months. Like she could she 317 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 2: could give it. 318 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: To give it more, I would. I would say I 319 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: would give it if you really are enjoying all of 320 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: these other things about him, and he feels like a 321 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: good person and you can see outside of the physical 322 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: attraction a future because of these other traits, I would 323 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: at least give it three months. I don't think that's 324 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: unfair for you to date him, because we also that's 325 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: what dating is is we are getting to know somebody 326 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: and see and seeing how feelings develop. It'd be the 327 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: same thing if I was like, well, I don't know 328 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: if is personality gels exactly with mine. Well, I'm gonna 329 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: give it time, and I'm not gonna tell him I 330 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: don't really like your personality. I don't know if I 331 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: like your personality. I'm not gonna tell him that. I'm 332 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: gonna get to know him, just like I don't think 333 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: she needs to say I don't know that I'm attracted 334 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: to you yet. Give it time, and then if it 335 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: doesn't come, then you can make a decision of how 336 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: you want to move forward. 337 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, as for Nashville and October, the weather's going to 338 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 2: be great then, So I don't know if y'all like 339 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 2: to hike or get out and about. But there's a 340 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 2: couple of parks you could go to that I love 341 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 2: that are not They're not downtown or anything, so you'd 342 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 2: have to drive out. But Radner Lake is really pretty 343 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 2: to walk around. Or Percy Warner has like beautiful steps, 344 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 2: be a good little photo shoot for your Oh, I 345 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 2: don't know if he's coming with you. You might be coming 346 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 2: with friends. But whoever you're coming with in October, I 347 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 2: feel like being with you might not even Yeah, you 348 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 2: might not even. 349 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 4: Be with him anymore. 350 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 2: So whatever people you're coming with, if y'all like to 351 00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 2: have like an active activity, those are two places like 352 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 2: where you could go and that's where. 353 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 4: The locals are. I don't know that a lot of 354 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 4: tourists go do that stuff. 355 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:07,680 Speaker 1: That's true. 356 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 2: I think you could see some really cute pretty birds. 357 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 2: So it's gonna say cute birds, but pretty birds or owls. 358 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 5: Yeah. 359 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 2: I love when I'm hiking Radner and I see a 360 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 2: barred owl. It's like a fun game. Or there's bald eagles. 361 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:24,199 Speaker 2: There's a big, big bald eagle nest at Ratner and 362 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,439 Speaker 2: that's cool. Well, she's she's fifty, she may be feeling 363 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 2: me on the birds like I, and she's from Colorado. 364 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 2: She might like outdoors and stuff like that. And then 365 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 2: downtown Franklin. 366 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: That's what I was gonna say. It's so cute if 367 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 1: she wants to venture outside of Nashville, they'll be tourists 368 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: in downtown Franklin. But also like I live over there 369 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: and I go there to run the errands and shop 370 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: and stuff too. Yeah, so you'll get a little of both. 371 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: The areas that are like of course people go to 372 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: like twelve South and stuff like that. Sometimes that's not 373 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 1: even fun anymore. 374 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 4: Because there's so many people, so crowded. 375 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,959 Speaker 2: I tried to run an erran there the other day 376 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 2: and I'm like, nope, this is two prime time. The 377 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: tourism starts on about Wednesday afternoon and goes until Sunday. 378 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 2: So now if I need anything from any of those shops, 379 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 2: I go Tuesday at noon. 380 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like my only option. It's a fun place 381 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 1: to go, but I would just be prepared. That is, 382 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 1: you're going to be crowded. It's if you go anywhere 383 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: to eat, you better have a reservation. 384 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 2: I love the Henry on twelve South h the in 385 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 2: in October. 386 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 4: I bet that road top tr Ooh. 387 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: Buttermilk Ranch, have you been there? That's in twelve South, 388 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 1: that place. Pro tip, they do not do reservations, but 389 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: you can put your name on the list before you 390 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: go and then kind of skip the line. So if 391 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: you want to go there, if you go on a weekend, 392 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,880 Speaker 1: it will be like a three hour wait. So put 393 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: your list, your name on the list like three hours 394 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: before you want to go. Got it very good though? 395 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:49,959 Speaker 4: All right? 396 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 2: Next up, we have an update from a listener. She 397 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 2: had written in a couple of months ago, asking how 398 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,199 Speaker 2: not to cry in certain situations. She was going back 399 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 2: to court with her husband. Do you recall this person? 400 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 4: Okay? 401 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 2: In case y'all didn't catch that episode, she had to 402 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 2: go to court with her husband, who had an affair 403 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 2: and then he married the woman to figure out stuff 404 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 2: with the kids, and she asked, how how do I 405 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 2: stay strong? How do I not cry when I'm confronted 406 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 2: by them? How do I not cry when I get 407 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 2: scared of them? I'm afraid it will ruin the integrity 408 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 2: of this case. I'm just trying to do it's best 409 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 2: for my kids. So that's some of the backstory. This 410 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 2: is her update. Hey guys, we wrapped this all up 411 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 2: last week. It was several months of going back and forth, 412 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 2: hopefully avoiding court, which we did. 413 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: Phew. 414 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,479 Speaker 2: I cried a few times in private, but I stood 415 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 2: so strong against their antics. I wasn't backing down because 416 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 2: I know what these kids and myself deserve. Everything happened 417 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 2: as it should, and past agreements were fixed and reimbursements 418 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 2: and new agreements are in effect. Thanks for the advice. 419 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 2: I listened back several times to remind myself that it 420 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:12,360 Speaker 2: is okay, I'm okay and it will all work out, 421 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 2: which Kat in case people hadn't heard that when it 422 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 2: came to her crying and being strong and knowing she's 423 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 2: capable and she's able to do that. 424 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 4: Do you remember the advice on the crying. 425 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I remember also she was saying, I don't 426 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 1: remember if her husband was a lawyer, but something tells 427 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: me that that I am remembering this right. That her 428 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 1: husband was a lawyer and he was very like bully esque, 429 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: so she was worried about them just being really harsh 430 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: and her kind of just crumbling or some of that pressure. 431 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: And we talked about like it's one it's okay to cry, 432 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: but all get as much of that out as you can, 433 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: like before you go into these conversations. I think I 434 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: shared whenever I was going through a breakup one time 435 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: but I was still seeing clients, I would cry and 436 00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: cry and cry, and then I'd say, Okay, you just 437 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 1: have to not cry for one hour and I would 438 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 1: go do my session and then I would say, because 439 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 1: I would tell myself, you get to cry after this, 440 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: And so it wasn't this like you can't cry. So 441 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: I think We were very much like have your feelings 442 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: and then also give yourself a mantra of I can 443 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: do this. I'm strong, and if you do cry during it, 444 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,240 Speaker 1: like that's not the worst thing that would happen. She 445 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:21,880 Speaker 1: made it through. 446 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 2: She thought like, how am I going to do this? 447 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,040 Speaker 2: And she was able to make it through. And Yeah, 448 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,120 Speaker 2: whether he's a lawyer or somebody's a lawyer, we knew 449 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,679 Speaker 2: stuff was shady because she said I stood strong against 450 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 2: their antics. 451 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 1: And normally I would say, like, crying does not make 452 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,399 Speaker 1: you weak. No crime to me is showing emotion. It 453 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: shows that you care. Obviously I'm somebody who cries a 454 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,919 Speaker 1: lot now, but I heard what she was saying of like, 455 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:50,239 Speaker 1: I don't want to give this man any power, and 456 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 1: if if he sees me cry, he's going to see 457 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: that as like I can control her kind of vibes. 458 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,120 Speaker 1: And so that was very important to her. 459 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 2: And I think the importance of, yeah, keeping your composure 460 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 2: of sorts when you're in a serious setting like that 461 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,479 Speaker 2: is important because sometimes when I start crying and then 462 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 2: I can't stop, and now you're delaying a process. 463 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 4: Again, it's not the tears that are bad. 464 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:17,440 Speaker 2: I like that you reminded us of I can cry later, 465 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 2: you're still giving yourself permission to cry. But I get 466 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,720 Speaker 2: to cry in one hour. This is going to be 467 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 2: over in thirty minutes. And then I get to cry, 468 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 2: and sometimes you can't control. Yeah, when the tears come. 469 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,679 Speaker 2: It's just when you know you're up against bullies and 470 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 2: you're trying to stand your ground and be in your confidence. 471 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 2: Tears whether or not they should set you back depending 472 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 2: on who's in the room. 473 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 1: Well, I can't talk when I'm crying. So that's the 474 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 1: other part of if I want to be able to 475 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: get my point across or say whatever, it is, Like, 476 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: you're right, I can't stop. And then I also there's 477 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,239 Speaker 1: some people that can cry and talk and I just 478 00:22:55,800 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: nothing comes out. Yeah, so I'm glad that was such 479 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,879 Speaker 1: a good update. 480 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 4: And I love that she was. 481 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 2: Like I listened back several times to remind myself that 482 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 2: is okay. I never thought about someone when we're answering 483 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 2: their question directly, that they may want to come back 484 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 2: and listen to it multiple times. 485 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 4: And that warms my heart. Yeah, that also makes me 486 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:17,640 Speaker 4: a little nervous. 487 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 1: That gives anxiety. 488 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,919 Speaker 2: I'm like, woe, And again, this is that's why we 489 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 2: have the disclaimer on that's the start of these episodes 490 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 2: is we don't know every detail, so it's hard to 491 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 2: really speak specifically and give advice that who knows. We 492 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 2: have to question like A hope this doesn't backfire on them, 493 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 2: or I hope this is a good fit for them, 494 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 2: And it sounds like this was a good fit for you, 495 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 2: and just overall could be a good fit for anybody 496 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,919 Speaker 2: that has to be in a situation where they're feeling emotional. Now, 497 00:23:48,920 --> 00:24:02,479 Speaker 2: if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck. Now, 498 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: if you're seven months pregnant like Cat, good luck. 499 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, you cried today. I haven't cried the last two 500 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: episode episodes, just so you know, what do you think? 501 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 4: What do you think it was? Or what's up? 502 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 1: Oh? Has there been anything sad? 503 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 4: Does there have to be? 504 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 2: You've been like I was with you, like you would 505 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 2: cry at the simplest little thing, even if you just 506 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 2: saw something sweet, like I. 507 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 4: Feel like, oh my gosh, it's a butterfly. 508 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,320 Speaker 1: Would land on me right now, you'd be like I 509 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,960 Speaker 1: bawled my eyes out this morning. That's why I probably 510 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:38,680 Speaker 1: didn't cry today. 511 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 4: Okay, what happened? Retelling it. You're probably gonna cry. Oh 512 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 4: she's alrighty Okay, here it comes. 513 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:49,199 Speaker 1: You don't have to apologize. 514 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 4: She does have tears. 515 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:56,719 Speaker 1: I was watching see I can't talk when I cry. 516 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: I was watching Love Is Blind UK to the altar. Okay, 517 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: I was on the treadmill like panting, like I was 518 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: out of bread. And there is a couple that I 519 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: don't even remember much of this couple, like I don't 520 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,880 Speaker 1: have like an affiliation with this couple. But this is 521 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,679 Speaker 1: after the altar is like, this is their lives post 522 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,399 Speaker 1: they got married and whatever, and they were pregnant, and 523 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 1: they showed her. They showed her in the hospital and 524 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: having the baby, and her husband was with them with 525 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: her obviously, and it was just showed her through like 526 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: all the stages of labor. And she went in normal. 527 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,160 Speaker 1: I think she went in getting induced, planning to get induced. 528 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 5: She showed her husband like holding her, and then she 529 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 5: ended up having to have an emergency C section. 530 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,919 Speaker 1: And this is the videos. These videos have gotten me before, 531 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 1: like on TikTok when they show the mom's like getting 532 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: to hold baby for the first time or the dad's 533 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,840 Speaker 1: getting to hold a baby, and they she had her 534 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: seat section they put the baby on her chest, and 535 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 1: she was like, she said, she said, hi, baby, We've 536 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 1: been waiting to meet you, and I just. 537 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 2: Like lost, Oh, I can't wait to hold your baby. 538 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 4: I mean, you're gonna do it first. 539 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:26,119 Speaker 2: You know. 540 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,840 Speaker 1: I just was like, Oh, that's what we, me and 541 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 1: Patrick have been talking about. It is like I just 542 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: can't wait to meet her because she's in there. And 543 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,199 Speaker 1: like I also was talking about like last night, I 544 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,199 Speaker 1: was like, I feel so sad for her. Obviously I 545 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,879 Speaker 1: want her to be born, but like that's gonna be 546 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: so scary for her to be born and just de 547 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,440 Speaker 1: pick in the world. And then like when when they 548 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: put her on your chest, that is like comforting to 549 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: her obviously because that's familiar to her. And so I think, 550 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: just we had that conversation last night, and then watching 551 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: her go through all those moments of labor, which labor 552 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,719 Speaker 1: is scary to me, and then seeing her hold baby, 553 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: I just I was like, if I was a gal 554 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 1: who takes pictures of myself crying, that would have been 555 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,680 Speaker 1: a good moment to take one because I was losing it. 556 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,240 Speaker 1: But I don't do that anyway. I'm fine, Everything's fine. See, 557 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,360 Speaker 1: I can just love that. 558 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 4: It started off with that was watching Love Island UK best. 559 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:32,439 Speaker 1: Of what was it? Okay after the altar, I okay, 560 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: I have to say I need a UK. 561 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 6: After the altar, I need to clear my name, okay, 562 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 6: because I know it one on one episode you mentioned 563 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 6: that I like watching Love Island and I, after this season, 564 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 6: need to clear that up. 565 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 1: I've watched one season of it. I tried to watch 566 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: because what I like about it is it's every day 567 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,360 Speaker 1: so it's a lot of content, so there's always something 568 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 1: you can throw on. That is not my type of show. 569 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: I just want people to know that. Feel like I 570 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,439 Speaker 1: need to share that it is this season. I think 571 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: I watched three episodes and I had to be out. 572 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: It's a low and there's no shade. If you like it. 573 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,439 Speaker 1: If you like it, good for you. I just I 574 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,399 Speaker 1: could not. There's a lot of physical intimacy and they 575 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 1: all have mics on and you can like hear oh it, 576 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 1: that's feedback for the show. Maybe turn the volume down 577 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: when people are kissing. 578 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, I don't know. 579 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't watch and you don't know that. Yeah you 580 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: have never seen that. Anyway, I'm fine, everything's fine, and 581 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: I've gotten my second cry for the day. There you go. 582 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 2: If you want to send us an email or an update, 583 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 2: we love those. 584 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 4: You can hit us up. 585 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,479 Speaker 2: Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast dot com. 586 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 4: You can also call us. 587 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 2: We didn't play any voicemails this episode, but not because 588 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 2: we don't have some. 589 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 4: There actually are some. 590 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 2: Good we'll have to get to, but we don't have 591 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 2: Shannon here today, and just suck. 592 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: Like wait what that gives us same energy as like 593 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 1: I'm going solo to the prom not because nobody asked me, 594 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: because I want to go by myself, Like nobody asked you, 595 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: Like like, not because we don't have any. 596 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 2: Oh no, I saw some good voicemails and our voicemail folder. 597 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 2: But then Shannon isn't here today and she helps play 598 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 2: the voicemail. 599 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,320 Speaker 4: It's like a whole thing and. 600 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: Just you know, people call it. 601 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 2: It just made us. It made me nervous to like 602 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,840 Speaker 2: take that on without her here, so we had well, 603 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 2: I was like, well, we'll just do emails. But I 604 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 2: love reminding people that we have voicemails, so they'll call. 605 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 2: And I think when they hear other people call and 606 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 2: the voicemails, they're like, oh, if they're calling and leaving 607 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,160 Speaker 2: a voicemail, I'll call and leave because we get it. 608 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 4: It's like weird, It's not weird. 609 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 2: It's maybe uncomfortable for some of you or outside of 610 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 2: your comfort zone to call a show. 611 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: Well then to know it's different for somebody to play 612 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,160 Speaker 1: my voice on their show versus reading my EMAI. 613 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, or call us and leave us a message. 614 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 2: But like Kat and I want, we've we're working to 615 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 2: create this type of community where y'all calling us is 616 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 2: not a big deal and just like leaving your friend 617 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 2: a voice text and then we play it. 618 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: And people do it all the time. Yes, Oh, we 619 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 1: have so many voice. 620 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 4: That did sound that way. 621 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 2: Well, I only said that because I was reading some 622 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 2: of the listener voicemails that are because we have the transcripts, 623 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 2: and I guess I could read them, but then just 624 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 2: get the same effect, So I want to save them. Okay, okay, okay, 625 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 2: That's what I'm meant. Sorry if that sounded lame, I 626 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 2: am lame, I am I am lame. Anyway, The phone 627 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 2: number is eight seven seven two oh seven, two oh 628 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 2: seven seven. 629 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 4: Call it like everybody else and email us. 630 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 2: And our Instagram is feeling Things, podcast, YouTube, TikTok, TikTok, 631 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,160 Speaker 2: follow us, like and subscribe, Like and subscribe. 632 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 4: Okay, and most importantly, half the day you need to have. 633 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 4: Bye bye 634 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: Mhm.