1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 2: The breakfast Club morning, everybody is dej envy Charlemagne, the god. 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 2: We are the breakfast Club. You got a special guest 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 2: in the building. Yes, indeed, she ess was at Charlemagne's 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 2: mental Wealth expo in Manhattan. 6 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 3: She's there. Yeah, she's been there for all three of them. 7 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: Well, she was just there. This is Monday, that's right. 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: So we have doctor reeda walk a while. 9 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 4: Good morning, It's great to be here. 10 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 1: How are you feeling. 11 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 4: I'm blessed. I am blessed now. 12 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 2: I always wanted to start. But how did you meet Charlemagne? 13 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 2: How did you and Charlemagne connect? And how did you 14 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 2: feel like you know, this is somebody I want to 15 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 2: work with, with all that he's been through and how 16 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 2: crazy it is Brown? And how the fact that he 17 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 2: attacks beige men like myself. 18 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: I'm just messing with you. But now, how did y'all connect? 19 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 4: It's it is an interesting story, and it was Debbie Brown. 20 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 4: And what's interesting about it, and the fact that I 21 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 4: just feel blessed even though the morning has not gone 22 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 4: as planned for me, was that I met Debbie basically 23 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 4: through someone else. She didn't know me, so someone else said, 24 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 4: reach out to her. She likes these kinds of resources 25 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 4: for mental health. And when I reached out to DEVI said, well, 26 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 4: can you send me a second copy of the book. 27 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 4: I don't know if you've heard of my friend Charlemagne 28 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 4: the God. And I'm like, oh my goodness, like absolutely yes, 29 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 4: And so she sent him a copy of the book. 30 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 4: And it was before it was out, So this was 31 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 4: twenty twenty. This was January twenty twenty. The book came 32 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 4: out May twenty twenty. And you love the book, which 33 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 4: I appreciated immensely and said to me that I was 34 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 4: clearly on the path that I'm supposed to be on 35 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 4: and the rest is history. 36 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, I read it, and I read it on vacation 37 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 5: of twenty December of twenty nineteen going into twenty twenty, 38 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 5: and I was just like, man, this is the most 39 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 5: culturally competent book on mental health I've personally ever read, 40 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:45,559 Speaker 5: you know. So I was just like, I couldn't stop 41 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 5: singing the praises of the unapologetic God the Black mental. 42 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: Health, you know, and I wanted to talk, you know, 43 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: me and my wife was talking about this the other day. 44 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 2: You know, a lot of people have mental problems. But 45 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 2: what I think makes it a lot worse is a 46 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 2: lot of times we enable people with mental problems and 47 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:05,919 Speaker 2: have mental breakdowns, and we enable them by putting stuff 48 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 2: out there that we know that it's. 49 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: Clearly a problem. 50 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 2: Like we see that with celebrities, we see that with 51 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: regular people. And I was thinking to myself, you know, 52 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 2: we as a community should stop because we can tell 53 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 2: when somebody's going through something, and we can tell when 54 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 2: somebody might not be on the right medicine or might 55 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 2: have a problem that day, or might not be going 56 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 2: and instead of saying, you know what, let's fall back 57 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 2: on it because we can see it, it's almost like, 58 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 2: as a community, we enable it, which makes it worse. 59 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 2: And we think a lot of times that it's funny, 60 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 2: we think that we're putting this story out, but actually 61 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 2: it's making it worse because if they're going through a 62 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,079 Speaker 2: mental breakdown and we see it all the time, and 63 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 2: we put it on these blog sites, on websites and 64 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 2: put it on air, it makes it worse because now 65 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: what happens Now they went through that break or that breakdown, 66 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 2: and now everybody comments on that breakdown, good, bad, or indifferent, 67 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 2: and now they respond. 68 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: To that, and it's like a cycle that never stops. 69 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 2: So what do you say for people like that, especially 70 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 2: people that's going through it. 71 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 4: It's you know, I appreciate that question, envy, because it's 72 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 4: unfortunate because we already have a lot of stigma around 73 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 4: mental health, and so when people are struggling and folks 74 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 4: are making fun of them and joking and calling them 75 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 4: out their names and everything else that we do, it 76 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 4: makes them less likely to want to get help and 77 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 4: to reach out for help. So that's the tragedy of 78 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 4: it all. And what we can do, you know, with 79 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 4: platforms like this one, the conversations that you all are having, 80 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 4: is to raise awareness that mental illness is real. It 81 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 4: happens on a continuum, and so I think sometimes we 82 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 4: think about mental illness as just someone on the street 83 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 4: maybe talking to themselves and talking to someone who isn't there. 84 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 4: But there are variations of mental disability that happen for people, 85 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 4: and if we can be more sensitive to those individuals, 86 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 4: maybe they will be more likely to reach out for help. 87 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 4: Maybe they would be more likely to say something like, 88 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 4: you know, I don't know what's going on for me, 89 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 4: but I need help instead. And this is true for 90 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 4: any of us. If we feel like we're being criticized, 91 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 4: we're not going to go asking the people who are 92 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 4: criticizing us help. We're not going to put more of 93 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 4: our business in the street. And so I do encourage us, 94 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 4: you know, encourage the listeners and for us as a 95 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 4: society to be more sensitive. And even if you know, 96 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 4: a joke gets out there, a meme gets out there 97 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 4: before we know it, it's okay to come back and say, 98 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 4: you know what, I'm someone who feels like I'm psychologically sound, 99 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 4: I apologize for what I just did. I apologize not 100 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 4: to that individual, but also to the to our community 101 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 4: because we need people who are willing to stand up 102 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 4: for what's right, even more so than anything. 103 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 5: You know, you had a post on your Instagram that 104 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 5: kind of ties in that you said you need people 105 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 5: in your business. Yes, So explain why you think that 106 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 5: is because the enview point. I feel like sometimes when 107 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 5: we see these things play out publicly, then maybe or 108 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 5: somebody be like, I think we need to intervene. 109 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, so I posted that. It's on one of my 110 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 4: YouTube videos on my YouTube channel that folks can subscribe to. 111 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 4: But one of the things that we do is to 112 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 4: say I'm not going to talk to anyone because I 113 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 4: don't want anyone in my business. I've had folks, folks 114 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 4: have been recommended to me for support and some type 115 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 4: of care, and then when I reach out to them, 116 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,239 Speaker 4: they say, well, I don't need to talk to anyone. 117 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 4: I got this figured out. The challenge of that is 118 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 4: that people feel like I got this on my own 119 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 4: because they don't know what mental health professionals do and 120 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 4: they don't want again to have other people in their business. 121 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 4: But we need people in our business because this is 122 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 4: the thing when we're in crisis. When anyone is in crisis, 123 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 4: they can't problem solve, like they can't see what's happening 124 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 4: to them, and so they need trusted people around them 125 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 4: to be able to say, hey, this is what I see, 126 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 4: and I'm concerned about you. And that's what folks can say. 127 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 4: You don't have to say, hey man, you messed up. Hey, 128 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 4: you know, we don't need to criticize. It's helpful to 129 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 4: say I'm concerned, this is what I see, state the facts, 130 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 4: and just say I'm here whenever you're ready for whatever 131 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 4: that looks like, and then move on. 132 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about. 133 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 2: So you know a lot of people are scared to 134 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 2: go to see a therapist or they don't feel comfortable. 135 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 2: And I always tell people, and I know Charlemagne says 136 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,800 Speaker 2: the same, it's all in your time, right when you 137 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: feel comfortable, and you have to find the right therapist. 138 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 2: Therapist is like you know, like a doctor. Sometimes you 139 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 2: might not like your doctor, might have to find another doctor. 140 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: But what advice would you give somebody until they find 141 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,240 Speaker 2: somebody that can help, that can help them maybe get 142 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 2: through some of their problems, or to get them into 143 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: a space of relaxation. I joke with Charlomagne one time. 144 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 2: All the time, like I see Charlamagn hugging trees, right, 145 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: I wanted. 146 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 3: To just be hugging trees. I go do grounding. 147 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 5: Exercises, so I take my shoes off and I walk 148 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 5: in the ground. You know, I meditate outside. I like 149 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 5: to meditate against trees. That's what it is. Well, I 150 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 5: tried it. I didn't get the same reaction. 151 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: But what would you advise people to do to try 152 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: to maybe get to a relaxing point that you can 153 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 2: advise them to if they can't afford a therapist, or 154 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 2: maybe they don't feel comfortable with the therapy. How would 155 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 2: you advise them to try to get through their day 156 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 2: that's not smoking weed or not drinking or not doing 157 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 2: something that is just you know, just a temporary fix. 158 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, everything doesn't work for everybody, and so 159 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:09,239 Speaker 4: maybe tree leaning doesn't work, but well, tree. 160 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: Leaning leaning, lean leaning, Yes, I'm sorry. 161 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 4: It doesn't work for you. But have you ever just 162 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 4: gone outside to get a different perspective all day long? 163 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 2: I know, I know my outside game is amazing. Like 164 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 2: I stay outside and it's it's it's what I love. 165 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: The air, It's fresh air, it smells different, it feels different. 166 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 3: Knock it off. 167 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I was about to say, I don't know 168 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 2: where you live, but I do know where you live, but. 169 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 3: It's that where we at out there. 170 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 5: Yes, it grew up in New York, though, I feel 171 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 5: like when we were you grew up in Houston. 172 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 4: No, I grew up in Georgia and South Carolina. You 173 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 4: know what I'm saying, Oh, South Carolina. As we say 174 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 4: in South Carolina. 175 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 3: That's right. So we be outside, we play outside, run 176 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 3: around barefoot. 177 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 4: But you can go outside in New York. You can 178 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 4: because what it is about being outside is just a 179 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 4: different perspective. Sometimes when you're in a physical space, you 180 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 4: get stuck on ruminating what's happening in that space. Going 181 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 4: outside allows you to get out of your head and 182 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 4: maybe get a different aroma of air, but it changes 183 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 4: things for you. And so that's one of the things. 184 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 4: That's one of my favorite things that in deep breathing, 185 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 4: because we can breathe deeply for free and at any moment, 186 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 4: and even you know, for those of who of us 187 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 4: who may be in rush hour because I am in Houston, 188 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 4: I have been in Houston for the last twelve years. 189 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 4: You know, sometimes you stop it a light and you 190 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 4: just got to breathe diaphragmatically because you're right. Even when 191 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 4: you're ready to see a mental health professional and you 192 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 4: have that person exactly figured out, you know, the chances 193 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 4: that you're going to get an appointment that day or 194 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 4: even the next week, and sometimes not even the next 195 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,439 Speaker 4: month is real. And so it's all about grounding exercises, 196 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 4: being in the moment, being aware of the things that 197 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 4: we tell ourselves, because we tell ourselves all kinds of 198 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 4: not helpful things. One of my favorite things that I 199 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 4: want to remove from the dictionary is the word should 200 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 4: I should be able to work out, or we should 201 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 4: on other people they should help me. We have to 202 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 4: be aware of the things that we're telling ourselves that 203 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 4: basically escalate depression and escalate anxiety. And one other thing 204 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 4: that I that's a free one. Most folks, you know, 205 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,000 Speaker 4: take a shower at some point during the day, night, morning. 206 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 4: Stop getting in the shower and going to work. People 207 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 4: get in the shower and they think about everything that 208 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 4: has gone wrong or everybody who got on their nerves, 209 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 4: or everything they didn't do or need to do, and 210 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 4: it's helpful. We can just get in the shower and 211 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 4: have like a mini spa and just feel the water 212 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 4: on our shoulders and be in that warmth, and that 213 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 4: can set us up to be able to anticipate things 214 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 4: that don't go our way. 215 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 2: I do that a lot. I do that all the time. 216 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 2: But also I would also say it's you know, how 217 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 2: important is a village? 218 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 3: Right? 219 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 1: And the reason I. 220 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 2: Say that is although I really dislike Charlemagne, like hate levels, 221 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 2: I like him because he shows no mercy. He doesn't 222 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:49,960 Speaker 2: care about my feeling. 223 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 3: Let's how you know you're not nowhere near being healed. 224 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: I'm joking with him he knows I love. 225 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 3: Him, hat in his heart, he knows he needs work. 226 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 3: He knows I love him. 227 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 2: But the reason I like him is is he doesn't 228 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 2: show any mercy, meaning he doesn't try to protect my 229 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 2: feelings like you know. I mean, because a lot of 230 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 2: times your friend won't tell you what you want to hear, 231 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 2: or they tell you what you want to hear but 232 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 2: not what you need to hear. Yes, So I have 233 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 2: a couple of people in my village, like my wife Charlemagne, 234 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 2: that they're gonna tell you the truth and that helps 235 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 2: a lot, and a lot of people don't understand that. 236 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 2: So just explain how important a village is. And I 237 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 2: really don't like him, but go ahead. 238 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 4: So the village is important on so many levels. One 239 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 4: because you know, as an individual, we get stretched thin 240 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 4: and we need folks to show us up where we 241 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 4: kind of falling down. But yeah, kind of like I 242 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 4: was saying, when folks are in crisis and can't see, 243 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,560 Speaker 4: it's hard to see yourself and you need other people 244 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 4: around you to kind of put up a little mirror 245 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 4: and say, Okay, this is what I see happening. I 246 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 4: know you're working hard and trying to not look like 247 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,319 Speaker 4: what you're going through and all the things, but sometimes 248 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 4: we need other people around us to say, you know, 249 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,960 Speaker 4: I see your success, I see you pushing, but I 250 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 4: think it might be time for you to just take 251 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 4: a break. How can I help you take a break, 252 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 4: Because sometimes we tell people to take a break and 253 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 4: they feel like they can't and they need the village 254 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,319 Speaker 4: to say, excuse me. They need the village to say, Okay, 255 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 4: this is how I can help you to take a break. 256 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 4: And we need more of that. 257 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 5: The Unapologetic God in the Black Mental Health. I'm telling 258 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 5: you it was one of the greatest books I ever read. 259 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 3: Y'all should get it. 260 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 5: And all this information, I guess is going to be 261 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 5: in this new workbook. 262 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 4: Yes, okay, yes, So the workbook is available now for 263 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 4: pre order. It will be released on November one, So 264 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 4: I encourage everyone go to my website doctor Rita Walker 265 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 4: dot com. And by the way, Rita's spelled a little differently, 266 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 4: it's our h eed is in Diamond a Walker. But 267 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 4: what I did was to take a lot of the 268 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 4: tools from the first original book and put them in 269 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,559 Speaker 4: the workbook because there are a lot of people who 270 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 4: are walking around and I've seen them at the expo 271 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 4: where they've got all kinds of notes and highlighting and 272 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 4: things that they want to remind themselves to do. And 273 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 4: so I went another further, as Mi Granny would say, 274 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 4: and put all of that in the workbook so that 275 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 4: people have some steps that they can use, and folks 276 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 4: can find which steps work for them, because again everything 277 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 4: is and for everybody, but folks can find which steps 278 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 4: work best for them. 279 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 2: Now, what do you tell women, because I know you're 280 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 2: navigating the mental health is black women on a panel 281 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 2: what you did this weekend? But what do you say 282 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 2: two black women who you know, they have so much 283 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 2: to deal with, right, because they're not just dealing with 284 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 2: their mental right, if you have children, they got to 285 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 2: deal with their children and the different attitudes and different feelings. 286 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 2: And then if you have a husband, you got to 287 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 2: deal with you know, your husband's day. And then you 288 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 2: still have to Most women still got to. They maintain 289 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: the house, whether it's you know, cooking, cleaning, and taking 290 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,959 Speaker 2: care of the kids. And there's just some things that 291 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 2: I can't do and that Charlemagne can't do. Charlamage's not 292 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 2: doing his daughter's head. I'm not doing my daughter's head. 293 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,719 Speaker 2: But so what do you tell how do you tell 294 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,520 Speaker 2: women to go through that and to still try to 295 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 2: keep their mental saying well. 296 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 4: One of the messages from the Unapologetic Guide to Black 297 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,319 Speaker 4: Mental Health is first about self assessment, because we sometimes 298 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 4: try and create solutions without knowing what's going on. And 299 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,480 Speaker 4: you mentioned already we have a lot of different responses, abilities, 300 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 4: and a lot of different domains, but we don't always 301 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 4: recognize that we just who has time? You just keep 302 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 4: it moving. And so in the book, I talk about 303 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 4: this rating of zero to ten for psychological fortitude, that 304 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,160 Speaker 4: is basically your capacity to be able to take care 305 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 4: of your work and home responsibilities. Some people are in 306 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 4: school too to take care of our physical health. In 307 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 4: the African American community, as you all know, we have 308 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 4: a lot of chronic illness and doctors are saying you 309 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 4: have to take medication, and folks aren't managing their health well. 310 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 4: And then we have to be able to follow our 311 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 4: life purpose all while dealing with the threats that come 312 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 4: our way, you know, the microaggressions and those subtle things 313 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 4: that people say they don't mean to, but the subtle 314 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 4: things that people say. And so if I could say 315 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 4: right now, that my psychological fortitude is at an eight, 316 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, I'm doing pretty good. I can take 317 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 4: on more things. Maybe I can maybe skip some steps 318 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 4: here along the way. 319 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:57,319 Speaker 1: But if my. 320 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,280 Speaker 4: PF for my psychological fortitude is that a six or 321 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 4: and certainly if it's a three or lore, it's probably 322 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 4: time to get some professional help. If it stays there. 323 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 4: But you know about that five, six, six and a 324 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 4: half range, it's good to call in reinforcement, you know, 325 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,200 Speaker 4: to say to the family, hey, I can't do this today. 326 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 4: I need somebody else to step up, to call on 327 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 4: a friend and say, you know, I don't even know 328 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 4: what all is going on for me right now, but 329 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 4: can you just take thirty minutes to just to sit, 330 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 4: maybe sit outside, but to sit and talk. Because this 331 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 4: is where the village comes in. We weren't meant to 332 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 4: operate as individuals, ever, but when we can assess and 333 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 4: rate where we are and then figure out, Okay, if 334 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 4: I'm too low, then maybe I need to take some 335 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 4: things off my plate and find some support. And if 336 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 4: I'm too high, maybe it's time to reach out to 337 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 4: somebody else, you know, like, hey, I'm having a good day. 338 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 4: I was calling or texting to see how you're doing 339 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 4: so that we can build community a lot. 340 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 5: I don't want you to describe what psychological fortitude is. 341 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 5: And does the workbook have like some exercise in it 342 00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 5: that can help you increase it? 343 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 4: Yes, the point of the workbook is, in fact increasing 344 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 4: psychological fortitude, like that is the theme throughout. 345 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,360 Speaker 5: Okay, what kind of exercisees learning that can help. 346 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 4: Increase Well, you know, one of my favorite things is 347 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 4: cognitive restructuring. So that's a technical term that we use 348 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 4: in cognitive behavioral therapy that is in my training as 349 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 4: a psychologist, but giving individuals exercises to be able to 350 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 4: reframe and rethink what is happening. So, as an example 351 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 4: for me this morning, one of the things that didn't 352 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 4: work out was me getting my hands on the book 353 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 4: and being able to bring that here for you. And 354 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 4: so as I'm walking the ten miles that I thought 355 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 4: was ten minutes but it was it felt like ten miles. 356 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 4: As I was walking to the studio and feeling kind 357 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 4: of frustrated, like, man, I was supposed to have the book, 358 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 4: you know, it was supposed to be here and we 359 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 4: were going to take a picture and it was going 360 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 4: to be great, and then I was like, you know what, 361 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 4: but I'm going to be here. It doesn't really matter 362 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 4: that much if I don't have the book. And when 363 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 4: we can shift our thinking, it shifts our mood. You know. 364 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 4: The way that we think about and assess our environment 365 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 4: impacts how we feel on the inside. And so I 366 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 4: have a lot of exercises on how we can rethink things. 367 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 4: And there are folks who will say, well, you know 368 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 4: that's not real. You know that's kind of being fake. Okay, Well, 369 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 4: let's make a choice between whether or not we want 370 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 4: to be real and whether or not we want to 371 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 4: drag down our own mood. So we have to figure 372 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 4: out where our priorities are as far as how we're 373 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 4: doing psychologically. 374 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 2: Now a lot of people have kids, of course, and 375 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 2: it's way different than when we were growing up. I 376 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 2: really it was very little about mental health, but very 377 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 2: little about therapy. Do you think every child should start 378 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 2: with a therapist early? 379 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 4: I think that therapy is probably best helped in helping 380 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 4: children indirectly with the adults. So one of the reasons 381 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 4: that I wrote The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health 382 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 4: was because the suicide death rate was going up for 383 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 4: five to eleven year old black children while it was 384 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 4: going down actually for white children. And my thinking was, 385 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 4: what's going on for the parents, and what's going on 386 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 4: for the teachers and aunties and the other adults around 387 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,360 Speaker 4: that child that they could be missing what's happening. It's 388 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 4: not intentional, but you know, we're all going in so 389 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 4: many different directions, and we have a lot of unaddressed 390 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 4: and untreated anxiety and depression. Those are the two most 391 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,719 Speaker 4: common psychological challenges. And so I really desperately want to 392 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,120 Speaker 4: start with the adults because if we can get into 393 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 4: a place psychologically where we can be more available to 394 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 4: our youth, then I see us as the first line 395 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,199 Speaker 4: of defense. Now, there are some youth for whom the 396 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:39,199 Speaker 4: parents just don't have what we need. There is some 397 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 4: youth for which we just don't have it, and so 398 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 4: for those folks, they do need to get professional help. 399 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 4: But I think that we need to start with the parents. 400 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 2: Now, you said depression, right, Do you feel like depression 401 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 2: is contagious? And the reason I say that is when 402 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 2: you hear some of these kids talk about I'm depressed, 403 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like, do you know what depression is? 404 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 2: Or is it something that you've seen on TV. Do 405 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,360 Speaker 2: you know what depression is or did you hear somebody 406 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:05,719 Speaker 2: say it? 407 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 3: You know? 408 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: So do you feel like it's one of those things 409 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: where it was like, well. 410 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,600 Speaker 2: Johnny said he's depressed, and I'm sad, so I'm depressed 411 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 2: too now and it puts them in a zone. 412 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: Do you feel that that's the case. 413 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 2: And do you feel like with us talking so much 414 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 2: mental health in schools where maybe the kids wouldn't know 415 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 2: about it so it wouldn't be or do you feel like, well, 416 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 2: maybe that's a sign for them to say that that's 417 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,639 Speaker 2: what it is. So like if somebody talks about sex, 418 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 2: it's like, maybe your kids will talk about it more 419 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 2: because they hear it more. But if they don't hear 420 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 2: what they talk about it because they wouldn't necessarily know 421 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 2: about it. 422 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 4: Well, children, you know, different age children are going to 423 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 4: react differently to what they hear around them, and so 424 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 4: maybe younger children who are you know, first or second 425 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 4: grade or younger are just kind of copying what they 426 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 4: hear their peers saying, whereas older children who are you know, 427 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 4: adolescents teens may be more likely grateful to have language 428 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 4: to talk about what they experience for themselves. I do 429 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 4: feel like our youth are struggling more than they do 430 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 4: when we were we were growing up, and I don't 431 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 4: know what all is happening. I think that there has 432 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,920 Speaker 4: been an erosion of identity wherein we knew who we were, 433 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,600 Speaker 4: and we knew who our community was, you know, in 434 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,080 Speaker 4: a strong sense of spirituality, and a lot of that 435 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,199 Speaker 4: is eroding. And the exposure to social media, you know, 436 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 4: and the research has been relatively consistent about the impact 437 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,360 Speaker 4: of social media, and so we have to be careful 438 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 4: about what our young people are being exposed too. But 439 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 4: if an adolescent, for sure, and maybe even you know 440 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 4: child is young as eight, nine or ten, is saying 441 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 4: they feel depressed, I would first ask them, you know 442 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 4: that's interesting, tell me more about what that means for you. 443 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,239 Speaker 4: What does what does depression look like for you? And 444 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 4: see what they say. Maybe they'll say, well, it looks 445 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 4: like what Johnny's going through. Okay, Well tell me more 446 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 4: about what Johnny's going through. Well, Johnny's going through this, this, this, 447 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 4: and this? Are you going through this, this, this, and this? 448 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 4: So we have to be curious investigators as adults. But 449 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 4: if we're uncomfortable about mental health then where we may 450 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 4: not ask those questions, those important questions. 451 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 5: You're absolutely right, and I think the beauty of the 452 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 5: society that we're in right now, like none of us 453 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 5: are keeping secrets, so we're all talking about mental health 454 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 5: the same way we would talk about physical health. 455 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 3: Or anything else. 456 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,400 Speaker 5: And one of the prodest moments of my life as 457 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 5: a parent was during COVID. My daughter, she's in tenth 458 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 5: grade now, so she probably was like in seventh Then 459 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 5: she came to me and my wife and she said. 460 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 3: I am overwhelmed. 461 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 5: I know, I didn't have that language in seventh grade 462 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 5: to just be able to say I am overwhelmed. 463 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,679 Speaker 3: And it's like, of course you are, Like why wouldn't 464 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:34,919 Speaker 3: you be. 465 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,719 Speaker 5: You're at home, you know, doing claymation projects on the floor. 466 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,159 Speaker 3: Of course you're overwhelmed. 467 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 5: So I think it's good that we're having these conversations. 468 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 5: We're giving these kids the language to be able to 469 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 5: express what they're going through. 470 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 4: I do think it's important, and I can understand at 471 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:51,640 Speaker 4: the same time, parents who don't necessarily have the language 472 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,400 Speaker 4: are feeling a little bit concerned because it's like, Okay, wait, 473 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 4: where did this come from? We didn't deal with this, 474 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 4: and so are you getting this from the school? Where 475 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 4: is it coming from? And that's why, you know, communication 476 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 4: is so incredibly important because I do think that even 477 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 4: though we're talking more about it, a lot of folks 478 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,560 Speaker 4: don't still have the language. And I know this because 479 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 4: I'm talking to folks and they're like, well, is this depression. 480 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 4: I'm like, no, not not really. But if we think 481 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 4: about depression, sometimes just feeling empty on the inside, and 482 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 4: a lot of people feel empty and are trying to 483 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 4: fill it in with other kinds of things, social media, drugs, 484 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 4: you name it. But we also have to look at 485 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 4: other things like are they sleeping and are they eating? 486 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 4: And you know, are they thinking about suicide? So even 487 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 4: though we talk more about mental health, there's still a 488 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 4: lot more to do as far as just the education part. 489 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 4: And that's one of the things I wanted to do 490 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 4: in the Unapologetic Guide, and I do a lot of 491 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 4: still in the work book. In case people didn't read 492 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 4: the first book, They're okay to get the workbook and 493 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 4: just keep pushing. 494 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 5: I want to ask you about two things that we 495 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 5: had Kirk Franklin up here, and I don't know if 496 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 5: you've seen his Father's Day documentary where he finally meets 497 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 5: his biological father for the first time. 498 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 3: It is so it's so powerful because you see. 499 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 5: Him deal with his inner child in real time. But 500 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 5: there's one saying that he says. He says, we all 501 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 5: need to win wounded. How do you feel when you 502 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 5: hear that? 503 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 4: Unfortunately I haven't seen the documentary and when he said 504 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 4: win wounded. 505 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,200 Speaker 5: So we always have to learn how to win wounded, 506 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 5: because you know, we're all flawed, broken, like he was like, 507 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 5: we just have to learn how to win in life wounded. 508 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, and it's true. I mean everyone we all 509 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 4: have been through something, whatever the something may be. It's 510 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 4: different for all of us, but we've all been through something. 511 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 4: And you know, my granny used to say, well, if 512 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 4: you haven't been through something, keep on living. And so 513 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,719 Speaker 4: we need to be able to be aware that maybe 514 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 4: something could be holding me back. There could be, but 515 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 4: I'm going to fight on anyhow. My parents used to say, 516 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 4: you got to work twice as hard to get half 517 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 4: as far. You know, we have to be aware of 518 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 4: these things that have happened to us, but at the 519 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,959 Speaker 4: same time tap into our strength. And that's probably one 520 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,479 Speaker 4: of the most important things that I think is important 521 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 4: from both books and that I talk to my grad 522 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 4: students about because I'm training doctoral students who are working 523 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 4: on their PhDs, that with your clients, you have to 524 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,919 Speaker 4: find the strength in them. Help your client find their strength. 525 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 4: We all have strengths, but oftentimes we get so overwhelmed 526 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,199 Speaker 4: with everything that's gone wrong that we lose track of 527 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 4: what our talents and our gifts and what our strengths are. 528 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 5: Talk about some of those studies that you and your 529 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 5: doctoral student jasuine books have published. 530 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 4: Well, there's one paper I think that we talked about 531 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 4: more recently that was based on mindfulness and recognizing that 532 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 4: even for folks who with some of our other papers 533 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 4: just experiencing depression, experiencing discrimination, that to the degree that 534 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 4: we can be grounded in the moment and we're and 535 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,880 Speaker 4: be focused and let go of some of our judgmental thoughts, 536 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 4: because sometimes we judge ourselves, we judge other people, we 537 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 4: judge how we're feeling. But if we can instead just 538 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 4: focus on the moment and be in the moment, then 539 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 4: those adverse things that have happened are less likely to 540 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 4: escal late into suicide, ideation and thoughts of self harm 541 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,360 Speaker 4: and things of that nature. So again, just even when 542 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 4: bad things happen, and that's been my research for the 543 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,879 Speaker 4: past twenty years that despite all of the adversity, that 544 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 4: when we can call on our strengths, our gifts, our resources, 545 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 4: and our talents, it offsets or mitigates the impact of 546 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 4: some of the other bad things that have happened. And 547 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 4: that's true for all of us. 548 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 5: Doctor da Walker man, make sure you get the Unapologetic 549 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 5: Guide to Mental Health workbook. 550 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 3: You can pre order it now. 551 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 5: It's available November first, but you should go pick up 552 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 5: the original book too before. 553 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 3: You get to the workbook. 554 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,600 Speaker 5: That's right, and we thank you com minute to everybody, 555 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 5: like anybody that has any questions you know, in regard 556 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 5: to mental health. 557 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 3: To me, I'm like, yo, you should read. 558 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 5: The Unapologetic God to Black Mental Health by doctor Rida Walker. 559 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:44,719 Speaker 1: And how can they find you? 560 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 4: I am at doctor Rita Walker dot com and again 561 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 4: it's d r r h E ed A Walker at 562 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 4: excuse me dot com. And I'm also on Instagram on 563 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 4: all the social media's doctor Rida Walker. And I appreciate 564 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 4: you all and just always always always grateful for you. 565 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,719 Speaker 4: Leonard and being willing to amplify this conversation and all 566 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 4: that you do, and I appreciate just all the love 567 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 4: and joy that you all have amongst each other. 568 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 3: Thank you, doctor, thank you so much. 569 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: All Right, it's the Breakfast Club. It's doctor Rita Walker. 570 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. 571 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 3: The Breakfast Club.