1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:15,320 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,240 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to take a little time to dwell 4 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: in the past. This phrase often has a negative connotation, 5 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean to Consciously recreating pleasant memories can 6 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: make life in general feel rich and full. If you've 7 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: gotten together with old friends recently, you know that it's 8 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: fun to catch up on life and chat as if 9 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: you have never been apart. But one of the major 10 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: reasons such experiences are so pleasant is that we and 11 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: our old friends share a lot of history. Together. We 12 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: talk about that history and conjure up that history, so 13 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: of the positive feelings of those initial experiences get reflected 14 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 1: in the current moment. Life in general can always be 15 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: a bit oh hum. Getting together with people from past 16 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: peak experiences allows us to experience a little bit of 17 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: that joy even on an average weekend. Dwelling in the 18 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: past for a little bit lets us enjoy the present more. 19 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: But getting together with friends or other folks like cousins 20 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: isn't the only way to bring up good moments from 21 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: the past. You can take other actions too. For instance, 22 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: you probably have some old photo albums sitting on a 23 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: shelf somewhere. They may be gathering dust. If you've got 24 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,560 Speaker 1: an open fifteen minutes or so, you can wipe off 25 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: some of that dust. Choose a period of time that 26 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: you still feel positively about. For instance, if your marriage 27 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: is still in a good state, you could look at 28 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: your honeymoon album, pull it out. Recall gazing into each 29 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: other's eyes on the beach, or how you spend hours 30 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: sitting at a little cafe, or whatever it is you did. 31 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: Don't you feel better about life now? Don't you feel 32 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: better about your spouse now? You are dwelling in the 33 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: past and it is making you glow in the present. 34 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: Songs can also immediately conjure up memories. Maybe you listen 35 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: to a particular song over and over again on a 36 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: trip you took as a young adult. You loved learning 37 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: about the world, and that song feels like possibility. Why 38 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: not listen to it right now? You'll find yourself smiling. 39 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: Even sense can bring back memories. If you've got great 40 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 1: memories of let's say, dinner at your grandmother's house, make 41 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 1: her recipes. The smell of her pot roast will transport 42 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: you to childhood and sitting round her table plant lilacs. 43 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 1: If you remember how they grew in the garden near 44 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 1: where you went to camp, and summer camp was the 45 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: highlight of your year. You can consciously use these artifacts 46 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: to bring back chosen memories. Now, of course, the keyword 47 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: here is chosen. Probably most of us have negative memories 48 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: from past times that we already spend too much time 49 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: dwelling on regret shame. Who knows memory can be a 50 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: tricky place, but you probably can't forget those memories. Instead, 51 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: you can train your brain to consciously think about other ones. 52 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: That's the reason. To identify times in your past that 53 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: you know felt positive. Then you can think about exactly 54 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: which people or pictures or songs or smells will bring 55 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: these times to the forefront of your brain. You can 56 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: write about memories in a journal to focus the experience. 57 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: This can keep your mind from wandering and help bring 58 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: back more details as you reflect. We sometimes speak disparagingly 59 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: of people who dwell in the past, say the middle 60 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: aged person who can't stop talking about his high school 61 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 1: sports experience, or maybe an empty nester who can't seem 62 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: to move on from those days of intense child raising. 63 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,960 Speaker 1: We do have to keep living our lives and making 64 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: new memories now. But there is no reason that old 65 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: and new memories can't weave to gather to make a 66 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: lovely tapestry. You get together with your old high school 67 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: sports team, but you also go camping with them and 68 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: their children and build new experiences together. We can dwell 69 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: in the past and the present and have a richer 70 00:04:56,000 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: mental life in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, 71 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: and here's to making the moose of our time. Hey, everybody, 72 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 73 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 74 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. 75 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 1: That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 76 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 77 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast 78 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 79 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 80 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from 81 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 82 00:05:55,320 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Do get 83 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: idea