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Speaker 1: They realized for every month, or every day or every

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Speaker 1: week that you're apart, it takes that same amount of

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Speaker 1: time to recreate that intimacy. So as much as we

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Speaker 1: hope that phones and messages and zooms and facetimes can

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Speaker 1: keep the communication, it can keep the connection. Obviously there's love,

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Speaker 1: but the intimacy has to be reinvested. Imagine if you

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Speaker 1: did not tend to a garden for six months, it

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Speaker 1: would be messy, it would be wild, and then you'd

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Speaker 1: have to reinvest. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose,

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Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to

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Speaker 1: each and every one of you that come back every

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Speaker 1: week to listen, learn, and grow. It's coming to my

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Speaker 1: favorite time of the year. I mean it already is.

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Speaker 1: I love the holiday season. I love the festive spirit,

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Speaker 1: and I love the gifts. I love the energy, I

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Speaker 1: love the celebration. But what I also love is how

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Speaker 1: there's this natural inclination to want to reflect. And if

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Speaker 1: you're listening to this episode right now, it's because you

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Speaker 1: know that introspection and reflection are powerful for setting us up.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of us want to rest, which

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Speaker 1: is natural. A lot of us want to let go,

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Speaker 1: which is natural. A lot of us just want to

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Speaker 1: move on too, and that's all good and well, but

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Speaker 1: I think the benefits of reflection are often underrated and

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Speaker 1: they're often forgotten because as a society, we choose to

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Speaker 1: just rush to the next thing. We choose to just

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Speaker 1: move on as quickly as possible to the next thing

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Speaker 1: and distract ourselves. And taking a moment towards the end

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Speaker 1: of the year to sit with yourself, to journal, to

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Speaker 1: ask yourself questions can be so powerful. And I'm going

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Speaker 1: to share with you the seven questions that I'm asking

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Speaker 1: myself this year, and I change these every year because

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Speaker 1: I discover new questions. I'm going to share with you

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Speaker 1: questions that are superpowerful, insightful, some of them are really

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Speaker 1: find some of them are easy, some of them are

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Speaker 1: really going to surprise you, and some of them are

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Speaker 1: going to be ones that remind you of the journey

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Speaker 1: you've been on. And I read this amazing study that

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Speaker 1: talked about how reflection is a really vital tool for

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Speaker 1: growth and personal development. We think it's always learning something new,

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Speaker 1: building something new, starting a new habit, while all of

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Speaker 1: that comes from reflecting and making sure that our reflection

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Speaker 1: shows us what we truly want to embody, embrace and

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Speaker 1: build in our lives. And so I am so glad

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Speaker 1: that you chose on purpose today. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for showing up to this episode. And I want to

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Speaker 1: dive straight in to these seven questions. So the first

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Speaker 1: question is one that I think you'll expect, but I

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Speaker 1: do want you to think about it. What is a

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Speaker 1: challenge that you've overcome this year? What was something really

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Speaker 1: difficult that you did? What was something that you broke through.

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Speaker 1: Maybe there was a fear, Maybe there was something that

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Speaker 1: you hadn't done for a long time. Maybe there was

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Speaker 1: something that was holding you back. Maybe there was something

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Speaker 1: that you just didn't feel you had what it takes,

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Speaker 1: but you did it. What was that? And it doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to be big. I think we think about doing

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Speaker 1: hard things or something huge. Sometimes it could be having

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Speaker 1: a difficult conversation with the family member. Sometimes it was

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Speaker 1: disconnecting with a friend or reconnecting with a friend. Right,

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Speaker 1: What was a challenge that you overcame this year? Personally?

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Speaker 1: I know for me it was my health journey. I

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Speaker 1: had double hernia surgery, which was a big part of

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Speaker 1: a challenge that I overcame this year of having to

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Speaker 1: go through that. Another challenge I overcame this year, which

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Speaker 1: really really had a big impact on me was taking

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Speaker 1: charge of some things that I was hoping other people

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Speaker 1: would take care of right a challenge in my mindset

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Speaker 1: that I felt I didn't have enough time that someone

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Speaker 1: else could do it, that I didn't think I had

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Speaker 1: to do it, and I realized that taking charge of

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Speaker 1: that felt so good. That was a challenge for me

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Speaker 1: to find the time to find the energy to take

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Speaker 1: care of it when I'd hoped that I could outsource

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Speaker 1: it or that someone else could take care of it

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Speaker 1: for me. Another challenge that I overcame this year, and

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Speaker 1: I'm sharing these because I want you to see the

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Speaker 1: difference in scale the different types of challenges that exist.

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Speaker 1: I think a big challenge for me that I overcame

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Speaker 1: this year is that I realized that I could take

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Speaker 1: control back of my schedule, that I didn't have to

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Speaker 1: be subservient or inferior to my schedule. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: to live a life of pure product productivity and efficiency

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Speaker 1: if I wanted to take a break, and allowing myself

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Speaker 1: that that was a challenge. Not is how challenges are

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Speaker 1: not always something obvious, and I know that you've broke

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Speaker 1: through and made a difference and done hard things. I

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Speaker 1: know that, and I don't want you to underestimate it.

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Speaker 1: And I think one of the biggest challenges is that

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Speaker 1: we don't really fully allow ourselves to recognize. We kind

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Speaker 1: of move on and we're like, oh, that's normal, like

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Speaker 1: oh that's okay, or we're carrying it so heavily on

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Speaker 1: our backs. And so I really want you to think

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Speaker 1: about that, journal about that, And the question you want

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Speaker 1: to ask is a follow up to that. The challenge

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Speaker 1: you overcame this year is what did it teach you?

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Speaker 1: What did you learn from it? What did you take

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Speaker 1: away from it? And for me, when I think about

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Speaker 1: the challenge of taking control over my schedule again, I

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Speaker 1: realized that what I learned was what do I want

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Speaker 1: to do with my time? How do I want to

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Speaker 1: live my life? How do I want to breathe? We

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Speaker 1: all have a limited number of breaths on this we

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Speaker 1: all have a limited number of steps on this earth.

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Speaker 1: I want my breaths and steps to be used to

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Speaker 1: serve and create an impact and make a positive difference

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Speaker 1: for myself and for others. And if I'm not feeling

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Speaker 1: that my schedule is supporting that, then how am I

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Speaker 1: allowing days, months, weeks, years to just go by? The

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Speaker 1: second question I want you to ask yourself, is a

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Speaker 1: surprise you dealt with something you weren't expecting that you

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Speaker 1: had to pivot? For? The reason I'm asking you to

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Speaker 1: reflect on these is that studies show that reflecting on

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Speaker 1: how you've overcome past challenges helps you to better process

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Speaker 1: negative experiences in the future. People have the ability to

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Speaker 1: use these moments as a source of creativity and motivation.

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Speaker 1: So we think we're bad at dealing with difficulties because

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Speaker 1: we've never noticed how well we've dealt with him in

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Speaker 1: the past. If we've never sat down to reflect on

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Speaker 1: how did I deal with a bad thing last year,

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Speaker 1: we don't know how to deal with a bad thing

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Speaker 1: next year. So what was a surprise you dealt with?

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Speaker 1: My hernia surgery was definitely a surprise. Getting COVID for

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Speaker 1: me was a surprise for the first time in three years,

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Speaker 1: and that was a surprise. I think that pivoting to

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Speaker 1: the new demands, I realized that at the beginning of

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Speaker 1: the year, I thought I had a plan, and then

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Speaker 1: I realized I'd overcommitted in certain areas. That was a

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Speaker 1: surprise that I dealt with. And so I dealt with

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Speaker 1: a surprise that me and Radi were distant for such

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Speaker 1: a long time this year because of her work, my work,

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Speaker 1: because of visa things and issues and challenges and everything else. Like,

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Speaker 1: we literally couldn't see each other for nearly six months

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Speaker 1: this year, and that was a big surprise. We didn't

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Speaker 1: plan for that, We didn't know that was going to happen.

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Speaker 1: We didn't have the foresight or the communication to know

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Speaker 1: how to deal with that. And so the way I

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Speaker 1: dealt with that was really interesting that I realized, especially

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Speaker 1: when it comes to relationship surprise that I realized, for

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Speaker 1: every month or every day or every week that you're apart,

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Speaker 1: it takes that same amount of time to recreate that intimacy.

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Speaker 1: So as much as we hope that phones and messages

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Speaker 1: and zooms and face times can keep that, it can

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Speaker 1: keep the communication, it can keep the connection. Obviously there's love,

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Speaker 1: but the intimacy has to be reinvested, it has to

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Speaker 1: be rebuilt. Imagine if you did not tend to a

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Speaker 1: garden for six months, it would be messy, it would

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Speaker 1: be wild, and then you'd have to reinvest, and so,

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Speaker 1: of course, Rather and I have been together now for

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Speaker 1: nearly ten years, married for six, and it was just

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Speaker 1: so beautiful to fall in love again and again, like

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Speaker 1: to go through that process of reconnecting, deepening our intimacy,

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Speaker 1: rediscovering each other. And to me, that was a surprise

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Speaker 1: that I dealt with this year, and I'm sharing mine

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Speaker 1: with you because I want to be honorable with you.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you know me, you listen to me,

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Speaker 1: You're you know I'm in your head, and you're in

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Speaker 1: my heart and life. And I feel like I can

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Speaker 1: open up here. Even though it's just me and a microphone.

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Speaker 1: It isn't. It's me and you and your dog on

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Speaker 1: a walk, it's me you and your partner. It's me

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Speaker 1: and you in a car, it's me and you at

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Speaker 1: the gym, wherever you are right now. I want to

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Speaker 1: be open with you because I want you to be

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Speaker 1: vulnerable with yourself. The third question that I want you

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Speaker 1: to answer is something you bought this year, A tangible

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Speaker 1: thing that you bought this year that you love, an

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Speaker 1: investment that was amazing, like a really good investment of money.

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Speaker 1: Something you bought this year and you're like, I am

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Speaker 1: so happy that I put money into that. Right for me,

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Speaker 1: it's probably I'm gonna probably use tech. It's probably my

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Speaker 1: iMac and my iPad. They've been great investments. I travel

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Speaker 1: a lot, so my iPad's amazing when I'm traveling. The

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Speaker 1: IMAX great on my desk. I feel like it's made

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Speaker 1: my time at my desk more productive. It's made it

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Speaker 1: more fulfilling. I was tired of staring at a tiny

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Speaker 1: screen all day, and I feel like having that biggest

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Speaker 1: screen is really helpful. I felt when I was traveling

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Speaker 1: that I wasn't really as productive. I wasn't being able

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Speaker 1: to also entertain myself while I was moving around and traveling.

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Speaker 1: So I just want you to know that you bought

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Speaker 1: something this year. It could have been a course. It

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Speaker 1: could have been a program. It could have been a certification.

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Speaker 1: It could have been a workout, it could have been

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Speaker 1: a therapy session. Right, what did you buy this year?

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Speaker 1: It could even be a coat? Right, you love this

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Speaker 1: coat that you bought, or you love this T shirt

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Speaker 1: that you bought, this vacation that you bought. What did

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Speaker 1: you spend money on? They're really proud of yourself? Or

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Speaker 1: that you're really happy with yourself, because I think often

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Speaker 1: we spend money and we get really hard on ourselves

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Speaker 1: when it feels like it was wasting money. But when

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Speaker 1: we actually invest money or it grows or it compounds,

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Speaker 1: we don't always feel that way, right. It's interesting how

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Speaker 1: hard we can be around ourselves. Oh, I shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: bought that. Oh I wish it didn't waste money on that. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's been a waste of time. And what's something you

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Speaker 1: bought this year that you think that was great? Another

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Speaker 1: investment I made this year, and I hope you've been

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Speaker 1: appreciating if you've been watching the guest episodes on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: was my studio. I invested a lot into building this

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Speaker 1: beautiful studio space in my home that you can see

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Speaker 1: on our YouTube channel with all the guests that we've interviewed.

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Speaker 1: That was something I was really proud that we invested

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Speaker 1: in because I really want you to have an amazing

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Speaker 1: viewing experience. I want my guest to have an amazing,

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Speaker 1: intimate conversation experience. So let's celebrate our expenditures too. I

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Speaker 1: think spending money is something we're always so harsh on

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Speaker 1: ourselves for. What's something you bought that really truly made

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Speaker 1: a difference this year and really feels like it was

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Speaker 1: the right thing to do. Question number four, what's the

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Speaker 1: best book or podcast you listen to this year? What

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Speaker 1: was that episode? What was that page? What was that book?

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Speaker 1: I think for me, definitely it was Doctor Gabel Mattes

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Speaker 1: The Myth of Normal was definitely my favorite book of

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Speaker 1: the year that I read. And I think my favorite

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Speaker 1: podcast interview is a really really tough one, but I

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Speaker 1: would definitely say that the Kendall Jenner episode was really special.

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Speaker 1: I saw the love and support that came through with

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Speaker 1: that episode and how powerful it was. Great conversation. Having

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Speaker 1: doctor Daniel Ahman on the podcast is always a huge treat.

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Speaker 1: That was a real, real awesome episode as always. And

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Speaker 1: Sean Stevenson on the podcast was an incredible conversation about

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Speaker 1: health and well being, so and diet and gut. I

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Speaker 1: think we've had so many awesome The Tony Robbins episode

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Speaker 1: this year, it was a phenomenal episode. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: it was this year. It feels so long ago. And

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Speaker 1: I just want you to reflect on what was the

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Speaker 1: best book, what was that best podcast? Share it with

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Speaker 1: a friend? Pass it on. Right, there's someone in the

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Speaker 1: world who needs to listen to that. Read here that

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Speaker 1: share it with them, pass it on to them, and

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Speaker 1: it will read convince you, rededicate you to your personal

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Speaker 1: growth journey. Now five, this is an interesting question, and

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Speaker 1: the question is what are your blind spots for next year? Right?

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Speaker 1: What are your blind spots for next year? What is

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Speaker 1: something that you're unaware of that you could become more

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Speaker 1: aware of. I think you know my blind spots going

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Speaker 1: on tour. I've never been on tour before, so I'm

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Speaker 1: excited for that experience. You know, my blind spot is

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Speaker 1: we're going into a recession and you don't know how

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Speaker 1: that's going to impact things, And so I want to

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Speaker 1: be there for all of you, and I hope that

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Speaker 1: you'll take solace. I'm being confident that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be providing guidance and steer on this show to help

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Speaker 1: you deal with the challenges that come next year. And

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Speaker 1: so knowing your blind spots actually helps you prepare rather

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Speaker 1: than avoiding them hoping you don't have to see them,

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Speaker 1: hoping that you don't have to deal with them, will

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Speaker 1: actually take care of them, which which doesn't It makes

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Speaker 1: us weaker. It doesn't make us feel as powerful as

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Speaker 1: we think it would. So knowing your blind spots can

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Speaker 1: make a huge, huge difference. Number six, What made me

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Speaker 1: happiest this year? I think what made me happy is

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Speaker 1: this year were the surprises. To officiate an incredible wedding.

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Speaker 1: I got to visit the gorillas and trek with them

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Speaker 1: in Rwanda, got to reconnect deeply with Rather. I've got

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Speaker 1: to finish writing my book. I mean, there are so

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Speaker 1: many things that made me happy. I have the best team.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely love my team. I have this amazing group

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Speaker 1: of really talented, capable individuals who are so collaborative and

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Speaker 1: so powerful, and I'm so proud of them. And it's

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Speaker 1: really special to just take a moment to say what

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Speaker 1: made me happiest this year? And I promise you that

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Speaker 1: you have at happy moments. You have at beautiful moments,

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Speaker 1: even if you feel that you haven't. The mind's good

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Speaker 1: at remembering the tough times and the difficult times, and

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Speaker 1: good at forgetting the beauty and the joy. And when

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Speaker 1: we actively seek out those moments and celebrate them and

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Speaker 1: relive them in our mind, they become etched, They become

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Speaker 1: imprinted on our hearts and they become stronger and more

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Speaker 1: powerful as points of inspiration in our life. I think

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Speaker 1: that the happiest moments are the ones that keep you going.

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Speaker 1: I had this incredible experience I was the last twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours. I was at an event, and loads of

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Speaker 1: people came up to me and talk to me about

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Speaker 1: how calm and my daily meditations or on purpose has

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Speaker 1: changed their life. And it wasn't just a statement. It

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Speaker 1: was people who'd lost family members in dealing with grief.

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Speaker 1: It was people who'd lost friends who'd committed suicide. It

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Speaker 1: was people who'd been through some of the most difficult

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Speaker 1: things in the world, family members going through cancer themselves

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Speaker 1: like I was. I said this to them. I said

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Speaker 1: that you feel me like you're saying that my work

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Speaker 1: inspires you. But actually, if I'm completely honest, your story

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Speaker 1: inspires me to keep going and keep giving. Your story

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Speaker 1: you listening right now, Your story inspires me to keep

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Speaker 1: going and keep giving. Your story needs to be shared.

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Speaker 1: Your voice needs to be heard, shared that message because

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Speaker 1: it will help someone else. The seventh question that I

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Speaker 1: want you to reflect on for twenty twenty two is

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Speaker 1: a person you couldn't have got through this year without

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Speaker 1: who's that person, Who's that person that you're so grateful

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Speaker 1: to have had in your life this year that without

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Speaker 1: them it wouldn't have been the same. And guess what,

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Speaker 1: you know what, probably that person doesn't even know it

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Speaker 1: because they just love you and they would never even

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Speaker 1: remind you of that. They won't even say that to you.

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Speaker 1: Who is that for you? Who is that for you

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Speaker 1: that you know in your life made such a huge difference.

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Speaker 1: I'd have to say it was definitely my monk teacher

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Speaker 1: who came and lived with us a couple of times

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Speaker 1: this year. It was really beautiful for me and rather

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Speaker 1: to have that opportunity, definitely spending time with my good

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Speaker 1: friend Sean. We had the best reflections and really amazing

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Speaker 1: conversations this year. It was a special year for both

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Speaker 1: of us. I think that another person that couldn't have

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Speaker 1: got through without of course, rather, I mean, you know, rather,

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Speaker 1: these are like my heartbeat. You know, she's so important

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Speaker 1: to me in so many ways, so tolerant, so understanding,

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Speaker 1: so patient, but so deeply knows me and knows my heart.

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Speaker 1: And we put on a beautiful meditation experience together this

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Speaker 1: year for our friends, and that was one of my

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Speaker 1: best memories of this year. Another person that I couldn't

315
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Speaker 1: have got through without this year was my best man,

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Speaker 1: my best friend of the last seventeen years, who's back

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Speaker 1: in London, but we somehow fine time to talk every

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Speaker 1: single week, stay connected. I mean, I could go on

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Speaker 1: and on and on, but it's really special to sit

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Speaker 1: there and go those people that love me so deeply,

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Speaker 1: that they love me so deeply that they dissolve. I'm

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Speaker 1: just so used to being loved by them that I

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Speaker 1: don't even remember or notice it often. I hope these

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Speaker 1: questions really help you. I hope they help you reflect

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Speaker 1: on the year behind. It's easy to be like, what

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Speaker 1: was the worst thing? What was the best thing? And

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Speaker 1: that doesn't necessarily give us excitement, hope, energy, momentum. These

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Speaker 1: questions are designed. When you ask yourself what's a challenge

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Speaker 1: you overcame this year? You get strength to overcome future challenges.

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Speaker 1: There will be challenges in twenty twenty three, but you'll

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Speaker 1: be prepared with the lessons from twenty twenty two. When

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Speaker 1: you ask yourself a question of what's the surprise I

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Speaker 1: dealt with, you'll be better at dealing with surprises next year.

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Speaker 1: You can't plan for everything, and you can't worry about

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Speaker 1: everything either. Right, you can't have a plan for everything

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Speaker 1: and you can't worry about everything. The third question, something

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Speaker 1: you bought this year that you love that will remind

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Speaker 1: you to invest your money wisely. Right, you can try

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Speaker 1: and set as many habits as you want to spend

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Speaker 1: your money wisely to do the right thing. I promise

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Speaker 1: you just that question will say, Oh, that's what I

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Speaker 1: should spend more money on. That's what I should focus on,

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Speaker 1: because that actually made me happy. The fourth question, what's

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Speaker 1: the best book or podcast you read that's going to

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Speaker 1: inspire you to recommit to your personal growth journey. Knowing

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Speaker 1: your blind spots is a great reflection question because it

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Speaker 1: gives you awareness, gives you greater perspective. You get this

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Speaker 1: bird's eye view. If you imagine life is like walking

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Speaker 1: through a maze. If you've ever been amazed. You're lost,

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Speaker 1: You're trying to go and every corner looks the same

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Speaker 1: and every turn looks the same. Imagine if you had

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Speaker 1: a friend, or imagine if you could climb a tower

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Speaker 1: and stand on top of that tower and look down.

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Speaker 1: You get a bird's eye view. That's what happens when

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Speaker 1: you ask yourself, what are your blind spots? The sixth question,

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Speaker 1: when you ask yourself what made you happy is this year?

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Speaker 1: That reminds you to keep repeating those things and keep

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Speaker 1: prioritizing those things, because we know those distractions always creep in.

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Speaker 1: And when you ask yourself, what's a person you can

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Speaker 1: have gone through this year without? You're gonna call them

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Speaker 1: straight after this. You're gonna messes them straight after this.

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Speaker 1: You share this episode with them because it made you

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Speaker 1: think of them, and you're going to tell them how

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Speaker 1: much they mean to you and how much you love them.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you are here. I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: that you shared this podcast. I'm so grateful that so

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Speaker 1: many of you are coming to see me on tour

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Speaker 1: Jayshty tour dot com. If you don't have the tickets already,

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Speaker 1: come and see me live. I'm traveling all over the world, honestly,

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Speaker 1: just because I want to hold your hands, I want

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Speaker 1: to look into your eyes, I want to give you

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Speaker 1: a big hug. I can't wait to see you. I

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Speaker 1: hope you have an amazing holiday season. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: joining me today, and I'll be back again next week

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Speaker 1: with another special episode. Of course, if you're new to

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Speaker 1: the podcast, you've got loads to listen to. Makes you

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Speaker 1: go back and listen to some of my highlights this year.

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Speaker 1: We've got Selena Gomez, Dr Gabele Matte, Alex Cooper, Tony Robbins,

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Speaker 1: Trevor Noah, Meghan Trainer, great episode, Lily Reinhart, Vanessa Hudgens,

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Speaker 1: Andrew Hooberman, doctor Daniel and I think I said though

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Speaker 1: already amazing list of guests this year, so many more

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Speaker 1: Big Sean amazing, amazing episode. Make sure you go back

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Speaker 1: and dive in. Thank you so much. I love you

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Speaker 1: and I appreciate you