Speaker 1: What what what? What? What? What? What? What up? Good
Speaker 1: morning or afternoon or goodness? I started trying to count
Speaker 1: after three and I was like, I mean we go,
Speaker 1: we go? What's up? Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions?
Speaker 1: This you girl? Maindi b Hi. I'm wheezy, So I'm
Speaker 1: really excited for this episode. Actually, I have to tell
Speaker 1: you a few things. So I've been a fan of
Speaker 1: yours for a while. I really love your page really
Speaker 1: and when I met you, I was like, oh, this
Speaker 1: does not fun with me. She give me the total slide.
Speaker 1: I know because you met me at my friend's event
Speaker 1: and I was already lit, so like like, I literally
Speaker 1: when you met me, my friend Valerie was the one
Speaker 1: that put on the event. I think, um, do you
Speaker 1: think it was one of your friends? Because there's so
Speaker 1: many dinner up in the house. There was a few
Speaker 1: people doing it. Okay, I showed we had her on
Speaker 1: the show. She is the b K, not the the
Speaker 1: violet b K did that event. That's right, I didn't
Speaker 1: know you were. Let yeah, I thought maybe he was
Speaker 1: like not sucking with me. Were smoking outside we were,
Speaker 1: but we finally b K, that's your friend? Is that
Speaker 1: the one that I made out with, and that's the
Speaker 1: one I'm like, that name sounds for me. So what
Speaker 1: happened is I had um. I did a panel for
Speaker 1: Protects at UM Daniel Saint who's been on our show.
Speaker 1: He does and that's so I met all of the
Speaker 1: House of Yes people and they were like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you have to come out. And I got really drunk
Speaker 1: that night and so up She's like, Hey, up with
Speaker 1: your co host last night. I was like, there's no way,
Speaker 1: Like if she knew that we fucked, that would have
Speaker 1: never happened. Yeah, she was like, but he didn't remember
Speaker 1: making out. Work should be happening though, because there's made
Speaker 1: a lot because I'd be going to because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm queer, but let be going now that I'm like
Speaker 1: with more queer people. Every time I go into a space,
Speaker 1: it's like everybody suck each other. Yeah, like good ship. No.
Speaker 1: I mean, should I be in vr P if if
Speaker 1: I'm with the right athlete and then't brought the right
Speaker 1: holes there? Hey, I'm making that with him too, Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean emmy doing I tell you why I thought
Speaker 1: that because I have your go skinny girl bos ready.
Speaker 1: I always felt like a lot of body paws girls
Speaker 1: don't funk with me because sometimes I'll post and talk
Speaker 1: about my weight or how I'm feeling, or use the
Speaker 1: word fat for myself, which a lot of people do
Speaker 1: right there, like I'm feeling fat or talk about a foopa,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I know that what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: in my head how I'm feeling. And it's also probably
Speaker 1: coming across as like bitch, fuck you because you ain't
Speaker 1: that big, but you acting like you are. But am
Speaker 1: I acting like I am? Am I allowed to say
Speaker 1: those words, And I want to have a really open
Speaker 1: conversation about it because I want to know what it
Speaker 1: feels like on the other side of the table when
Speaker 1: you see smaller bitches doing a ship like that. And
Speaker 1: I mean, i'math said because I've been across the table
Speaker 1: from you for three years and when we've gotten it,
Speaker 1: we've we've had that conversation with Tao, who came on
Speaker 1: if you guys want to listen back to maybe the
Speaker 1: first time. We've got to hold on also real quick
Speaker 1: before we get into this, can you introduce your name,
Speaker 1: what what you go buy, and what you're known for
Speaker 1: on social media? Because she she did send me your page.
Speaker 1: Your page is phenomenal, So what made people know you ever?
Speaker 1: Really good? Like, I don't know what your purposes with
Speaker 1: your page, but it's fun. It is. It's fun. So
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I think she would be dope.
Speaker 1: So can you introduce your name, what we call you
Speaker 1: for the show, what you go by, and what you're
Speaker 1: known for. My real name is actually in the Cold
Speaker 1: triple yes, government. I'm trying to make it a thing
Speaker 1: to use my middle name because I grew up in
Speaker 1: the night time of like Jonathan Taylor Thomas's and like
Speaker 1: white people can use all three day names, why can't I.
Speaker 1: It's a good act like that of black people using
Speaker 1: the third like the middle name. But I will say
Speaker 1: a lot of black people have the middle name baby girl. Yes,
Speaker 1: my middle day. My cousin's name is the Cold. That's
Speaker 1: what I got my share one thing. It should be
Speaker 1: the same age and it was popular. Nay, how old
Speaker 1: are you? Names are popular amongst your there trendy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so that makes sense. And so what are you
Speaker 1: known for? I'm known for my page Ashley Chubby Bunny,
Speaker 1: which um as of like seen is when I actually
Speaker 1: started posting more things but before then I was known
Speaker 1: on Facebook for being a little bit more outspoken writing essays,
Speaker 1: and then on Tumbler for basically just reblogging like there
Speaker 1: but like and then like talking about my experience as well.
Speaker 1: Is that your job? No, um, as of right now,
Speaker 1: my job is like freelancing on social media, but like
Speaker 1: that was like it's a job, but like it's not
Speaker 1: like a career. So I think, I mean when you
Speaker 1: are really like known and centered or on something. So
Speaker 1: I know you said three years people have heard our conversation,
Speaker 1: but I think specifically with you, the fat phobia I
Speaker 1: have never read about and seen so much more often
Speaker 1: than I would say, maybe even the last twelve months,
Speaker 1: maybe even the lower like six months, I feel like
Speaker 1: becoming very apparent. And I also see people saying that
Speaker 1: it's not real until that I want to talk about too.
Speaker 1: So that's really where I want to dig into that
Speaker 1: ship today. But for now we're gonna start with Vanilla Ship.
Speaker 1: So Vanilla Ship is our segment where we talked about
Speaker 1: sex in the news. This one was sent in to
Speaker 1: me by friend Marcus Sanders. Manny's about to pull it up.
Speaker 1: It's really I really think it's from queerty dot Com.
Speaker 1: It's insight for gay News and this one is hilarious.
Speaker 1: Um also shout out before we um go into this,
Speaker 1: shout out to Pastor core Elle Scott, who was our
Speaker 1: guest last month. An amazing the vanilla ship for this
Speaker 1: week is a pastor who says he used oral sex
Speaker 1: to suck demons out of men near a New Jersey minister. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's hilarious, right, I take this to play parties. I'm like, not, Jesus,
Speaker 1: it's just because it's hot. I'm did so. A New
Speaker 1: Jersey minister accused of sexually assaulting his parishioners has launched
Speaker 1: a creative defense. He claims he was sucking demons out
Speaker 1: of them by performing fallacio. Sixty nine year old Reverend
Speaker 1: Dr William Weaver faces a lawsuit by four former parishioners,
Speaker 1: three men one woman, who claimed that the Presbyterian ministers
Speaker 1: sexually assaulted them when they came to him for spiritual counseling.
Speaker 1: Documents obtained by Newsweek revealed that during counseling sessions, we
Speaker 1: were asked the three men to strip naked and lay down.
Speaker 1: He would then place an angel coin on their heads,
Speaker 1: as well as sacred stones on their hands and ankles
Speaker 1: before performing oral sex. You know, honestly, if you dressed
Speaker 1: it up with the stones and ship. He said it
Speaker 1: came from something we were allegedly told his victims that
Speaker 1: he needed to suck the demons out through their seamen
Speaker 1: and that the ritual had come from Native American lore.
Speaker 1: At least one victim also reported we were kissing him
Speaker 1: on the mouth during Do you guys watch The Keepers Netflix?
Speaker 1: I don't watch that yet. Fabulous one, seriously, really good. Indeed,
Speaker 1: do you remember that he was saying that you have
Speaker 1: to suck out or this is my holy water. You
Speaker 1: embodied the spirit of God from sucking my Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what they did on there. This picture, I need to say,
Speaker 1: real picture where well we know he not doing this.
Speaker 1: Dr will Yeah, I said, we Williams motherfuck up. He
Speaker 1: looked no, no, no, no, no, no no. He looked
Speaker 1: like he did right spirit. Oh yeah, he looked like
Speaker 1: he sucking it. He looked like he did it. Look
Speaker 1: at that pick, He's like, yeah, I did it. Um,
Speaker 1: So it's it's crazy because I just went on um
Speaker 1: grape Vine shout out to everyone at the grape Vine.
Speaker 1: We had a conversation about how sex is more spiritual
Speaker 1: than we lead it to believe. Do you guys believe
Speaker 1: in sex like demons and not that they're maybe attached
Speaker 1: to your even but do you I lokey do as
Speaker 1: somebody that like frequents creepy pasta and watch Top ten.
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm like dying right now, because because
Speaker 1: like creepy past Oh my god, okay be pasta. It's
Speaker 1: basically like it's a genre of like scary stories that
Speaker 1: like have It's like a culmination of urban legends. Read
Speaker 1: it for a chand threats, all kinds of creepy ship
Speaker 1: that comes from all over the Internet, and people just
Speaker 1: literally engage in it and share it. And there's even
Speaker 1: like this thing that's like I think it's called SPC
Speaker 1: where they make up like actual fake monsters and characters
Speaker 1: that they talk about. You creepy pasta when you talk
Speaker 1: about like it's real, and it's like, I just think
Speaker 1: it's so interesting and I really love like scary ship
Speaker 1: and the other stuff that I used to look at
Speaker 1: wasn't doing it for me, girl, So it's still on
Speaker 1: a hole. I fell on a hole of all of
Speaker 1: this stuff. I said, I was gonna start doing some
Speaker 1: more reading. I'm to start this. I'm obsessed with it.
Speaker 1: It's so fun, but it's very scary. Do not watch
Speaker 1: it at night. I'm reading scary stuff. It's actually worse
Speaker 1: for me. Videos. There's video like reenactment on YouTube sometimes
Speaker 1: and how they set it up sex. Yeah, let's make
Speaker 1: it relievable. Thought you thought? That really comes up? So
Speaker 1: real quick? I want to read what it says I'm
Speaker 1: into b D S M. Go ahead. It says I'm
Speaker 1: into b D S M bondage like that. Some people
Speaker 1: might find that weird, but I'm sure those people are
Speaker 1: into things others might find strange, so let's not judge.
Speaker 1: I mentioned this because it's important to what happened. It
Speaker 1: gives you an idea and it guys read more, and
Speaker 1: then you just get into it. You wild. It's like
Speaker 1: you read it and I don't know what it's like,
Speaker 1: and it actually gives you the reading time I'm trying
Speaker 1: to give it. I'm dead this way. Well, it says
Speaker 1: it's seven minutes of reading. I don't want to get
Speaker 1: into seven minutes of reading, but definitely check out. Maybe
Speaker 1: we'll just awesome. I love that. Maybe we'll do this
Speaker 1: for Patreon episode Creeps episode look at you giving us content?
Speaker 1: All Right, well, I think, um so I'm not. I
Speaker 1: don't want to put him too much on the screen.
Speaker 1: We know what that motherile is. Um. I don't think
Speaker 1: that I could suck out the demons of you three semen,
Speaker 1: but I do be snatching soul. That's what he thought. So,
Speaker 1: like I think demons are real because not demons, but
Speaker 1: and this also could be manifesting too, Like I've met
Speaker 1: people that I feel like or not just clairvoyant, but
Speaker 1: have a lot of power in making something happen. Um.
Speaker 1: For example, like my friend and I were talking about
Speaker 1: this shout out to Layla. She's actually been on a
Speaker 1: Patren episode of ours. She's like, I know how strong
Speaker 1: my manifestation is because I've watched it happen. She's like,
Speaker 1: my man was teasing me about always getting sick, and
Speaker 1: she's like, and I was so irritated and so strong willed,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you are absolutely gonna get sick.
Speaker 1: Watch I know it. You're going to get sick. It's
Speaker 1: going to fucking happen. And she's like on some teas
Speaker 1: and ship she's like two days later it happened maybe
Speaker 1: he got sick from being around her. Sickens mean, but
Speaker 1: they together for years and he never got sick. When
Speaker 1: She's like I was wishing it on him, I was
Speaker 1: so annoyed with him, she was like, you can absolutely
Speaker 1: put that ship awesobody. Yeah, I want to ask you
Speaker 1: because we had um A Milia ortiz On here and
Speaker 1: she talked about you know, the spirit, like just things
Speaker 1: with energy and manifesting as well with crystals and ropes.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in in those things and bringing them
Speaker 1: into the bedroom or if they can affect your love
Speaker 1: life at all. I feel like this year I have
Speaker 1: been more learning more about that because one of the
Speaker 1: many friends I've had throwing event house, yes Um talked
Speaker 1: about not only blood magic but sex magic, and so
Speaker 1: they talked about sex magic through masturbation but also sex
Speaker 1: magic through like uh like partner simulation, and so like
Speaker 1: I'm looking more into that right now. But I do
Speaker 1: feel like that's something that actually does occur, because when
Speaker 1: you think about it, there's so much like you know,
Speaker 1: the organs and feels like right, it's like really good.
Speaker 1: So imagine that power being harnessed and at that moment
Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, I'm about to Like, you're not
Speaker 1: thinking about anything else if you just like manifest or
Speaker 1: think about or visualize something you want to happen. People
Speaker 1: are saying that when you get to that height, if
Speaker 1: you do that, it helps manifest situations and circumstances that
Speaker 1: you want. And I'm like, we have had three people
Speaker 1: on that I've talked about that. I'm Kristen, which is
Speaker 1: sluts and feminists. We're white shaped butt read her book
Speaker 1: at the Blue Stockings bookstore and she came on and
Speaker 1: she talks about black witches in her book, which actually
Speaker 1: that'sn't really I was like, I don't call it, but
Speaker 1: she said, like, you want love, and you want read,
Speaker 1: you want money, put that fucking green light on. Amelia
Speaker 1: or tease Um has talked about that as well, and
Speaker 1: Liz Goldwyn more recently talked about sex magic and I've
Speaker 1: tried it and I feel like it only works for
Speaker 1: me when I'm completely invested in and wrapped in, not
Speaker 1: teasing about it and or Hi, I have to be
Speaker 1: on some kind of a cadelic to actually connect in
Speaker 1: that way, or else I start making it like a
Speaker 1: joke to but I feel like that might be part
Speaker 1: of the ritual though, because we used drugs to do
Speaker 1: other things and like get into another plane of like
Speaker 1: either existence or thought, when we want to actually be
Speaker 1: a part of something like I don't think anybody just
Speaker 1: gets high just to get high. People actually like to
Speaker 1: doff to create Brianda from Super Trip, she gave me
Speaker 1: some shrooms, was still too scared to ever take. They
Speaker 1: never took them, and then shout out to our fans
Speaker 1: who did meet and greet in Boston. The niggas gave
Speaker 1: us pre rolls edibles. They're really ext they were just
Speaker 1: bringing it real quick. I smoked one of the pre
Speaker 1: roles that they gave us. I gave them one of
Speaker 1: the pre roles while I smoked on the pre roles
Speaker 1: last night, and the way my motherfucking heart was beating
Speaker 1: it was some indica I don't remember what then it
Speaker 1: was called. I was just like, oh not, na, I
Speaker 1: ain't smoking that ship no more. My head I felt
Speaker 1: my heart beat and my forehead while I lay down.
Speaker 1: I think there is a different experience, like you gotta
Speaker 1: be really comfortable. I think with hallucinogens to like acid troops.
Speaker 1: I think the number one thing that someone told me
Speaker 1: that was a great advice, was like, if you have
Speaker 1: any dark place you could go right now, possibly don't
Speaker 1: do don't do that, keep telling us what happen. Done yet.
Speaker 1: That's why ain't done it yet. But I know I'm happy,
Speaker 1: but there's some deep I'd be bothered by something. I'm
Speaker 1: just not gonna do it. Like a ghost could be here,
Speaker 1: but not really. And then like heah, and I think
Speaker 1: that demons are scary than ghosts because they're not human,
Speaker 1: they were never human. So therefore, like that's malevolent forces
Speaker 1: right there. So therefore why would I want to get high?
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking about all this. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys have ever met at a house. I ever
Speaker 1: met a ghost. Years ago, maybe six years ago. We're
Speaker 1: in this creepy gass house and we were making joe
Speaker 1: about how someone died there. Not not only right, oh no,
Speaker 1: this goes a real bit. I know the lights turned
Speaker 1: off site. If you're ever in New Orleans, you're New
Speaker 1: Orleans listener, right. There's a lot of voodoo culture, um,
Speaker 1: a lot of spirits and things like that. They are
Speaker 1: always talked about. And this house was very old and
Speaker 1: there was this box. I want to say it was Latasha.
Speaker 1: And so Vinnie opens the closet and he said, that's
Speaker 1: the damn bits closed. I was like, so we're joking around,
Speaker 1: but the house was fired. It's like six bedrooms, French quarter,
Speaker 1: like old ship. Right. We're with a bunch of friends.
Speaker 1: So we come home. Our house is the only house
Speaker 1: on the block where still I'm sorry, no, it's okay.
Speaker 1: We didn't know he's listening to it. So the house
Speaker 1: is the only house on the block that the electricity
Speaker 1: went off in, and I was like, what the fuck.
Speaker 1: Turns out it's just an outage in this one electrical box. Bro,
Speaker 1: we're trying to go to sleep. Latasha is running through
Speaker 1: the house. Nope, my friends right, shout out to DONALDO.
Speaker 1: We're sleeping. He's like, Bro. I was like, Yo, it's
Speaker 1: out there, isn't it. He was like, I mean it's
Speaker 1: so late. What are we gonna do? I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I could live with the ghost. When
Speaker 1: he comes upstairs highest Ship talking about pay just relax,
Speaker 1: just don't bother her. We're in her space. We're violating.
Speaker 1: If we just act like we're fine, she's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: I'm like, ge Bro. He legit made us sit there
Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, we called Airbnb. There was nothing
Speaker 1: else that we can We're fucked right now. So I
Speaker 1: said what are we gonna do? And he was like,
Speaker 1: we have to let her know that we're here, established
Speaker 1: our presidents. We was googling how to talk to our ghost.
Speaker 1: He's like, and let her know that we come in peace,
Speaker 1: because bitch, we've been talking to it all day. I
Speaker 1: was like, all right, fine, we get a candle. We're
Speaker 1: all in the fucking kitchen, trying to let her know
Speaker 1: where chill. Don't you know what tending on them lights?
Speaker 1: Tart Mica randomly not by calling electricity. This was like
Speaker 1: seven or six while we all went to sleep, woke up,
Speaker 1: it was on. I'm like, yo, cool, She was real,
Speaker 1: I'm just trying now about how y'all like explained that
Speaker 1: to air and like we need to move just haunted.
Speaker 1: I wait about the electricity And then I thought if
Speaker 1: I said ghost, they thought I would have been tripping. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy because me and my cousin's like when we
Speaker 1: when we were growing up, like my cousin shout out
Speaker 1: to my cousin Jerry. He used to be into all
Speaker 1: that ship. So this niggabot Wegi board, no we to
Speaker 1: night because my mama worked the weekends, so we had
Speaker 1: my cousin's house and he's the ship moving. Now I
Speaker 1: know he was making that ship move, but we was
Speaker 1: talking to some spirit and we had a whole fucking
Speaker 1: Wegi board and we're all like the lights. Look we
Speaker 1: used to do listen, yes, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: he just set that ship up. My cousin Jerry, used
Speaker 1: to be in all this ship and we literally had
Speaker 1: a wegi board and mind you, this was the time
Speaker 1: y'all know, if y'all been listening to the podcast, I
Speaker 1: used to be into Charmed like crazy, So like I
Speaker 1: was into all that ship. We was like calling them
Speaker 1: the sucy busses and all that ship. And I was like, oh, bit,
Speaker 1: we're letting the demons into our lives by bringing them
Speaker 1: through Thisuiji board, because you bring them from like the
Speaker 1: other realm under and people don't know how man. People
Speaker 1: don't know how to cut that connection either. They'll be
Speaker 1: freaked out by the Weiji board and they'll just like
Speaker 1: throw it away or something, and the spirits will still
Speaker 1: be there and listen as an adult now that the
Speaker 1: Weiji board there, So like when people like start freaking
Speaker 1: out when the board start bort start happening, they like
Speaker 1: will be like nah, like we're not doing this and
Speaker 1: they don't know how to close the portals of the things.
Speaker 1: Yeah there, you know what? This remind me of devil
Speaker 1: Dick and you scared? Where did I talking about? Big
Speaker 1: bitch resolution. She's sorry, spooky big bitch. I'm sorry. Bring
Speaker 1: everybody when real people know it's really called my girl.
Speaker 1: Just we just brought up a million ortiz and I
Speaker 1: was like, yo, when I was oppressed, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling too good right now and I don't
Speaker 1: know what's going on, and I just kind of feel
Speaker 1: like there's just like target on my back. I can
Speaker 1: feel this weight. And she's like no, like not even
Speaker 1: like I'm saying anything crazy. Yep, absolutely, and maybe somebody
Speaker 1: put it on you. Um. She was like, I can
Speaker 1: tell you how to break in, how to cut those cords,
Speaker 1: how to cleanse yourself. I was like, yo, can you
Speaker 1: recommend me somebody? I'm freaking out and she like with
Speaker 1: no because I'm making not a joke, but like yo,
Speaker 1: I feel like blah, blah blah, and she's like, yeah, probably,
Speaker 1: how do you close the portal of that? So so
Speaker 1: I'm outking this. So I'm asking this not for the
Speaker 1: Luigi board, but I feel like Devil Dick does the same.
Speaker 1: So I cut I cut seven off, me and him
Speaker 1: no longer fuck. And since then, I've had niggas who
Speaker 1: can't stay hard in condoms. They just like I've had.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to find other like just casual sex partners.
Speaker 1: And literally since I've cut him off, it's been three niggas. Sorry,
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's because the niggas just
Speaker 1: don't want to with a condom. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's the liquor. I don't know if my mind is
Speaker 1: how tell you because I'm coming out my own Devil
Speaker 1: Dick like Instagram this nie like somebody was like, maybe
Speaker 1: he's a sex man, he's a saving like you down.
Speaker 1: This is how bad has been. I literally tried to
Speaker 1: u three niggas since cutting this nigga off in October,
Speaker 1: and you just don't say hardy nigga. Then I told
Speaker 1: y'all maybe in another episode, Patron, I don't know a
Speaker 1: nigga paid eleven hundred dollars to find me the Denver
Speaker 1: for twelve hours just to get dick. And I was
Speaker 1: gonna go nigga, I got stuck on the runway for
Speaker 1: three hours. When I tell you, I've been trying to
Speaker 1: get dick from niggas and since I cut that nigga off,
Speaker 1: I have not been able to fuck. So how we closed,
Speaker 1: But I don't know if you want to talking about
Speaker 1: how she married niggas and I gotta married. Here we
Speaker 1: go to bullshit, man, I gotta harry that someone prayed,
Speaker 1: just like j R. Smith's wife prayed. You didn't any
Speaker 1: what I ain't got no Kurt coutching, you know, because
Speaker 1: the Mary Nick is still on my phone because in
Speaker 1: the world, bro, all the dick in the world, you know,
Speaker 1: this could be my fravorite. And I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: we ain't sucking. I know, I don't be fucking friends,
Speaker 1: but don't want dick. So let's and I couldn't even
Speaker 1: get any of you have Spanish because they definitely I
Speaker 1: don't even know these nigga's wives. I don't know the name,
Speaker 1: how many kids they got. Polly is definitely real because listen, now,
Speaker 1: I had Latina biches off your side. They will this
Speaker 1: whole court who I need to close the guy damn
Speaker 1: part of for the Devil Day. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do too, because when I talked
Speaker 1: about on my Instagram, when I called that dude, I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, oh, this is a musician
Speaker 1: he has, Like this is the best I've had like
Speaker 1: in months, like all year, Like if I had like
Speaker 1: a little like years my whole life, like yeah, but
Speaker 1: liked like a Spotify playlists if you like think about
Speaker 1: your Dick, like your little plays of the year Spotify
Speaker 1: into the year wrap up, like I probably had four
Speaker 1: decent Dick appointments, but then like when I have one
Speaker 1: that was like, yes, it happened for a month, like
Speaker 1: your Slidify wrap up, like for a month, like it
Speaker 1: was solid, just like Demon Dick the entire time. Dick.
Speaker 1: I honestly think that after years of joking about this,
Speaker 1: I manifested him. And so every time you say your
Speaker 1: friend's name, I keep having flashbacks about him because those
Speaker 1: names are so similar. But I'm not gonna name his name, um,
Speaker 1: but like what ended up happening was he was always
Speaker 1: like on time to my place. He would always show
Speaker 1: up and like I knew that that was a bad idea,
Speaker 1: but like it wasn't. Like I would try to get
Speaker 1: past like the unpleasantry so we could fun, and that's
Speaker 1: what happened. So I was stuck in that spot where
Speaker 1: I literally wouldn't go anywhere. Afterwards, I would play my
Speaker 1: whole day around it. And then like he was able
Speaker 1: to like get away with certain things because I was
Speaker 1: just like, well he's bringing dick, great dick. It's great dick,
Speaker 1: and like he's bringing it like regularly and consistency, like
Speaker 1: consistently and so like after like I had to kick
Speaker 1: him out of my apartment. He thought that I was
Speaker 1: kidding because I was literally like I was letting so
Speaker 1: much ship slide. And then he said something that was
Speaker 1: very that was the last straw, and I kicked him out.
Speaker 1: What did he say? He said that him he said
Speaker 1: to me, not being able to finish that time was
Speaker 1: not his fault because larger people take longer to organs. Oh,
Speaker 1: excuse me, say what he said? What he said that
Speaker 1: me not finishing like me not having an orgasm was
Speaker 1: not his fault because larger people take longer to work
Speaker 1: as up now bit he would have got fun in
Speaker 1: my life. I'd never like he said that porn right
Speaker 1: now because now I'm like, I'm just text him this
Speaker 1: is what I gotta know. Yeah, you're very loud and
Speaker 1: proud about when you don't appreciate it. What did you
Speaker 1: like almost could you almost not talk? Nigga? I would
Speaker 1: have know. It was just like it was weird because
Speaker 1: the way that I explained to my friends, the whole
Speaker 1: way I would tell him, the stuff he did a
Speaker 1: whole month. I'm just like me seeing him more than
Speaker 1: I saw my friends, like because it's all we did,
Speaker 1: and so like we ended up happening. He said what
Speaker 1: I have never but like every time he would say something,
Speaker 1: it was worse than the last thing he said, and
Speaker 1: my body was like I was having this for reactions
Speaker 1: to it. But I'd be like, is this the time
Speaker 1: you're gonna kick him out? Actually? Is this a time
Speaker 1: that Dick's not gonna be enough? Is this the time
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like? This is you know, like I
Speaker 1: know this is episode that y'all ain't learned. They still
Speaker 1: have it. He's thirty one years old, his life, so
Speaker 1: like I was like, why not say anything. When he
Speaker 1: showed me that he had only eleven dollars in his account,
Speaker 1: why don't I say anything? He had broke nigga to
Speaker 1: that manifest joke about all he had. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: I said, like, oh, like what I would actually mean
Speaker 1: hanging out with other men? He was like, we're talking
Speaker 1: to other man. He got self conscious because he knew
Speaker 1: that's all he had was just a dick. So if
Speaker 1: somebody else's dick is coming in, he's like, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't understand. Like we're not together, but this is not exclusive,
Speaker 1: but he has that things that I felt were worse
Speaker 1: about it. He's made rape jokes, he's made other things.
Speaker 1: He said other things. Um, he ruined my first viewing
Speaker 1: a super Fly, so like it was just so much
Speaker 1: going on, and that final thing was like you know
Speaker 1: what he has to leave. He is amazing, movie is amazing.
Speaker 1: I was like, why is it just now taking me
Speaker 1: this really sitting here at my mouth open? And the
Speaker 1: reason being is because I want to use you as
Speaker 1: an example for strong women that people can't believe get
Speaker 1: heartbroken people you can't people you can truly niggas will
Speaker 1: really fuck a person up. Who would think that you
Speaker 1: after all everything you preach, it's like, this is really
Speaker 1: how men get in your fucking breast and talked about
Speaker 1: it because I was like, I was so embarrassed by it.
Speaker 1: But I was like, nah, first of all, he hasn't
Speaker 1: music careery's trying to promote I'm gonna I'm gonna like,
Speaker 1: that's gonna be over. Um. He also has ties with
Speaker 1: Zoe Kravitz. I was like, that's definitely gonna be over
Speaker 1: because she about to be our catwoman. Whether or not
Speaker 1: it's gonna be good. Why then are you speaking about her?
Speaker 1: And then on top of that, I wanted people to
Speaker 1: know that even if I am somebody that talks out
Speaker 1: about what I want, how this platform or whatever, or
Speaker 1: this perceived amount of like confidence, this still happens to
Speaker 1: me too. So it doesn't matter like where you're at
Speaker 1: in life or like where you think you need to be.
Speaker 1: Niggas really ain't ship. But it's not only niggas, I
Speaker 1: would say, it's people like even with this we talked
Speaker 1: about we we we you know, we come on this platform,
Speaker 1: We're almost three years in and there's even still some
Speaker 1: Um I went on a pott. It may have been
Speaker 1: actually tahos or you know, and we openly talk about
Speaker 1: claiming the slut title and the horse all these things.
Speaker 1: But even to be introduced as a home like, people
Speaker 1: don't like that and like, don't demean me, because that's
Speaker 1: the word for meant to demean me. So when a
Speaker 1: man says that, yeah, I just feel away. But it's
Speaker 1: crazy because at the same time I am on this platform.
Speaker 1: Also even with weight, like I've had I've had people,
Speaker 1: you know, talk about my weight in certain things, and
Speaker 1: I've I've discussed my journey. But the same way he said,
Speaker 1: you know, well it takes longer for you to come
Speaker 1: because of your sides. And I've got niggas who have like, well,
Speaker 1: can I suck you before you lose the weight? Like
Speaker 1: and he said things like that, and it's just like
Speaker 1: you do come off really strong. So to know that
Speaker 1: someone mentioning something about your weight has an effect on you.
Speaker 1: I commend you for apartment like I love my apartment,
Speaker 1: which I'm like blocking people. You have to get out,
Speaker 1: get out, you have to leave. I was like, you
Speaker 1: need to leave. And I even like had this whole
Speaker 1: it was like this whole fucking like Angela Bassett monologue
Speaker 1: because I was so I'm telling you, like, we just
Speaker 1: got done having sex, and I'm just not wrapping my
Speaker 1: head around the fact that, like, oh, he really not
Speaker 1: only came on my ass, but like I didn't come
Speaker 1: and then he sat there putting on his shoes, talking
Speaker 1: about it's not my problem. So I'm like still and
Speaker 1: I'm like sitting up in the bed, and I think
Speaker 1: that my subconscious like, actually, this is it. This is
Speaker 1: the this is it. So it was like I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I was wondering how long did it
Speaker 1: take and what would be like the final thing to
Speaker 1: get me to kick you out of my apartment and
Speaker 1: never see you again? And that was that was it.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, how fucking dare you? You
Speaker 1: have nothing, You literally have nothing, and like the fact
Speaker 1: that this is what it took for me to kick
Speaker 1: you out. I was like, you know, I'm embarrassed, but
Speaker 1: I was like, you have to leave. I don't want
Speaker 1: to see you again. Do not contact me, do not
Speaker 1: come to my apartment anymore. He thought I was kidding,
Speaker 1: so he tried to kiss me before he left, and
Speaker 1: I said, please leave, you not come back. He called
Speaker 1: me and proceeded to harass me from that Thursday all
Speaker 1: the way to that Monday, texting me, let's fun. Are
Speaker 1: you really that mad? Are we breaking up? Or? All
Speaker 1: I said was this, he doubled down. All I said
Speaker 1: is that this is what people too long to come
Speaker 1: and like it's not it's science, is not me. That's
Speaker 1: why they have terrible He knows I didn't have a
Speaker 1: question a question, You're nine, this happened recently. Has any
Speaker 1: other man in your life ever, um said anything regarding
Speaker 1: sex and your weight or your weight in your attractiveness
Speaker 1: to them? Um? And can you share some of those
Speaker 1: things that were definitely that happens, like especially since now
Speaker 1: we're using like online apps and stuff, and then sometimes
Speaker 1: in person. I successfully picked somebody up in person at
Speaker 1: the beginning of this year, so that's why I thought.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I can do this. But then
Speaker 1: like I mean the face, I mean, it happens. But
Speaker 1: then like when he like when I would get approached
Speaker 1: by people on dating apps or even not even that,
Speaker 1: because that seems to be an issue in itself. When
Speaker 1: I talk to people, they kind of expect me to
Speaker 1: put in the work. So therefore I've heard it shouldn't
Speaker 1: take all of this to fuck you. You're a fat girl? What? Um?
Speaker 1: This one guy actually yesterday told me he read my
Speaker 1: okay Cupid profile and it was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be an experiment. Don't talk to me if you're
Speaker 1: not used to dating women like me. And he was like,
Speaker 1: I don't see you as an experiment. I like, have
Speaker 1: I have? He said, I have other big black girls.
Speaker 1: That's what he said. He was white. He's white. Um.
Speaker 1: And actually what was funny is that the guy that
Speaker 1: I like exercise from my home, the dick demon, um,
Speaker 1: he had me his phone as big black girl, and
Speaker 1: I saw you saw it's not black. I saw it
Speaker 1: when he like screenshot at me when he was trying
Speaker 1: to tell me that I said something that girl big
Speaker 1: black girl, and so like not so many feelings, and
Speaker 1: they don't think that they have to speak to me
Speaker 1: respectfully because it shouldn't be all of that to fuck me.
Speaker 1: That's what this is. Why it's funny. Manny and I
Speaker 1: had a conversation and I think it's because she doesn't
Speaker 1: white dudes. I do from time to time, right, And
Speaker 1: I'm always like, I hate the word BBC. And she's
Speaker 1: like I don't know the big deal is, and now
Speaker 1: I'm kind of hitting me a little bit. It's because
Speaker 1: if I hear the word I've never heard of nigga,
Speaker 1: like I've never heard dot com, you feel like white
Speaker 1: men are saying it, like white men are saying the color.
Speaker 1: I just have a few things to say about this
Speaker 1: nigga that really trips me out. We gotta get off it,
Speaker 1: because fuck him. I was on i G Live the
Speaker 1: other day where this dude was like trying to troll
Speaker 1: me that had no picture, and I was like, it's
Speaker 1: always these poor niggas, and someone said, stop trying to
Speaker 1: weaponize the word poor, and I said, I'd tell you
Speaker 1: why I need to, because it's facts. Having eleven dollars left,
Speaker 1: it's poor, And nigga, you have the nerve to bring
Speaker 1: you and your dusty dick over here and tell me
Speaker 1: niggas would pay to fuck me. This is true, And
Speaker 1: you have Dungeon where niggas literally put my toes in
Speaker 1: their mouth and paid me for that. So it's just like,
Speaker 1: why do you think that you're better than me and
Speaker 1: you only have eleven dollars? It's poor, niggas, I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: and then like, on top of that, what he would
Speaker 1: do he um, oh yeah. He also tried to get
Speaker 1: on me because he found my Instagram and he was
Speaker 1: like body positivity. I thought that it was like all right,
Speaker 1: but now people are just thinking that's okay to have
Speaker 1: heart attacks, and like, I just feel like you're playing
Speaker 1: a game, like don't get me wrong. Michael's recently said
Speaker 1: that let's let's talk about that. So the horrible decision
Speaker 1: for this week is can I say the word fat?
Speaker 1: I never thought that big old fat dick. I thought
Speaker 1: I thought fat. It was like a bad word for
Speaker 1: me to say. I thought you use other verbiage like
Speaker 1: do be see I can't even say do fat. People
Speaker 1: not like the word being called fat, and like, can
Speaker 1: you explain just the journey of fat if you've always
Speaker 1: appreciated that word, if you've used other things like yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it depends. Because there was a pivotal moment
Speaker 1: for me in college where they had the um Love
Speaker 1: Your Body Week where I first this was the first
Speaker 1: time I ever saw a woman that was bigger than
Speaker 1: me in her underwear in public. So it was like
Speaker 1: a demonstration on campus where everybody made signs and stuff.
Speaker 1: It was a part of like a different organization, like
Speaker 1: different organization on campus. But if it all go out
Speaker 1: in the underwear with signs and like basically tell people
Speaker 1: that they look amazing and like that they should love
Speaker 1: their bodies and stuff like that, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is amaze saying. So I went out there and
Speaker 1: I took off my top and like I had my
Speaker 1: brom but I was just like this is cool, like
Speaker 1: and I met a lot of different people that way
Speaker 1: and throughout trying to understand more about that and then
Speaker 1: becoming a like officer in the feminist organization on campus
Speaker 1: and doing a lot of unpacking because that's where it required.
Speaker 1: I became okay with the worry fat because it's what
Speaker 1: I felt physically describe me. And up until that point,
Speaker 1: I would hear it and it would feel literally like
Speaker 1: somebody was like poking me with needles. And that's that's
Speaker 1: not like a because when I feel like I hear
Speaker 1: the word, it's like I don't need words. It's like
Speaker 1: it's used to de mean it she uses to mean.
Speaker 1: But it's weird because when it is used to mean,
Speaker 1: it's used by people that don't think that these people
Speaker 1: think or know that they're fat. So it's like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna remind you you're a fat bitch. And so that's
Speaker 1: why my friend like shirt that's a fat bitch, and
Speaker 1: like you have all these women that are fat wearing
Speaker 1: the shirt that says fat bitch because that's been reclaimed.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, that's that's a fact because I am
Speaker 1: a fat bitch. We're not getting around the same way.
Speaker 1: We're reclaiming horror and all. But it's just like if
Speaker 1: it's used in a way that's meant to demean, then
Speaker 1: people can see through it. So I think it depends.
Speaker 1: It's on a case by case basis. It's kind of
Speaker 1: like with black people that s where nobody should say nigga,
Speaker 1: and then you have some black people are like, you
Speaker 1: shouldn't say that around me, like or you can't say
Speaker 1: it around me. It's a case by case. Would I
Speaker 1: go around and call everybody fat if I wasn't fat, No,
Speaker 1: So I'd be like, you might not be okay with that,
Speaker 1: But it's somebody that is fat reclaiming your own word,
Speaker 1: reclaiming that words. It's been a very big step and
Speaker 1: being okay with my fatness because honestly, if you're somebody
Speaker 1: that struggles with that word still, that means that you're
Speaker 1: still feeling the negative connotations of it and you might
Speaker 1: not be able to accept the fact that well I did.
Speaker 1: And um we actually on our Patreon episode shout out
Speaker 1: to um Naimo. Mindy had VSG by the way, so
Speaker 1: I had to gastric sleeve. Um, so I went from
Speaker 1: two thirty pounds, mind you on five ft one, so
Speaker 1: I went from two dty pounds and I very depending
Speaker 1: on my cycles the time of the month, between one
Speaker 1: and one seven ish. Um. And so we have the conversation,
Speaker 1: and I've been referred to as fluffy chubby Nigga specifically
Speaker 1: islandmn Um used to love to just rub all my
Speaker 1: stomach and my rolls and stuff like that, and that
Speaker 1: always made me uncomfortable. Does that make you uncomfortable? No,
Speaker 1: I hated it. I wouldn't know what happened enough. I
Speaker 1: think that's weird, But the rest of you is not there.
Speaker 1: So because I had one of our friends always says
Speaker 1: she loved it because it makes you feel more present,
Speaker 1: So like you can kind of tell I think it
Speaker 1: might be coming from a point where you're, like I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm being fetishized. That's where So that's the thing.
Speaker 1: If it's like you can always tell when you're being
Speaker 1: fetishized during a sexual weekend when they only focus on
Speaker 1: like certain parts of your body and talking about your
Speaker 1: body in a very fetishy way, like I can, how
Speaker 1: do you mane your size without making I feel like
Speaker 1: the kind of body works because I go to me
Speaker 1: is body. It's different. It's different from you massaging my
Speaker 1: body or you being a lover who is just like
Speaker 1: I love you any size, all my like hose and
Speaker 1: ship there mind you. I've been sucking them for ten years,
Speaker 1: six years, seven years, so they've been with me throughout
Speaker 1: all of my weight gains and losses, and they're just
Speaker 1: like I'm I love you at either side. But when
Speaker 1: I was at my biggest, it would be niggas that
Speaker 1: we're just laying and they're just going, like, you know,
Speaker 1: squeeze or something. You're not worshiping my body, you're literally grabbing.
Speaker 1: So like you you get what I'm like, not focusing
Speaker 1: just on that particularly that makes sense. Like the guys
Speaker 1: that I had to kick out, like he there's like
Speaker 1: a place in between my tummy and where my food
Speaker 1: is that he I never had anybody like be like
Speaker 1: I like that place and he would kiss it and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that feels really nice kissing it. That's cute. Like,
Speaker 1: but if it's like if they're doing this thing where
Speaker 1: they like grab your arms and they grab your thighs,
Speaker 1: your stomach, you're like, hey, what are you doing? And
Speaker 1: that's uncomfortable and you someone big, And to be fair,
Speaker 1: I've never had a nigga grab my arms. But we could,
Speaker 1: we could, we could portray as someone who's dealt was
Speaker 1: not only fat phobia. Of course, even with my loss
Speaker 1: of jokes, y'all have listened to brilliant idiots Charlemagne Mouse.
Speaker 1: So many people have come to me with still the
Speaker 1: fat jokes, like oh now that I've lost all the weight,
Speaker 1: now they can say all the fat jokes to my face.
Speaker 1: The type of thing, and so to to go through that,
Speaker 1: but also to have men, I've been like, a nigga
Speaker 1: has paid me, and of course I text them, but
Speaker 1: literally because he said, I want to see if I
Speaker 1: can just fuck someone your size, if I can last.
Speaker 1: He didn't last, but he gave me money just because
Speaker 1: he was like, I've never sucked anyone in your size,
Speaker 1: and you look like fun. And I think that's weird
Speaker 1: because it's weird because it's already they're coming out the
Speaker 1: gay othering you instead of appreciating you, and that's not
Speaker 1: a lot of men like that's how they talk to
Speaker 1: me online. You look like you're fun. Some of the
Speaker 1: first matches I've gotten. Do you suck dick? You like
Speaker 1: you know how to suck dick very well because you
Speaker 1: eat because because the very insecure about big girls fucking
Speaker 1: sucking my nigga's dick off. But like everybody, that's because
Speaker 1: that's what they say and it's not they don't think
Speaker 1: it's something because because that's what they're holding onto when
Speaker 1: it comes to being desirable, I can do something for you.
Speaker 1: That's what makes me desirable. And that's not okay because
Speaker 1: that's some of the first ways that were desirability. We're
Speaker 1: not giving desirability. So a lot of like fat women
Speaker 1: not even just that when you talk to them about
Speaker 1: how they're being socialized and romantically socialized as to how
Speaker 1: they're supposed to appeal to the other sex basically because
Speaker 1: that's we're not being taught like that. It's okay at
Speaker 1: that time, we weren't being taught it's okay to be
Speaker 1: with somebody that's not a man as a woman, and
Speaker 1: so therefore our socialization came in the way of, like,
Speaker 1: you have to be able to provide something for everybody
Speaker 1: to have them want to be around you. When it
Speaker 1: comes to like other like the opposite sex and your grade.
Speaker 1: You have to be able to give them something. And
Speaker 1: because they don't find your body that desirable, you have
Speaker 1: to be able to use. You have to overcompensate. And
Speaker 1: so that's why it's weird because because everybody, like with
Speaker 1: the Jill Scott thing, That's why I was so cringed
Speaker 1: out about it, because it's like everybody came out the woodwork.
Speaker 1: I can suck dick. I could do. It's like yeah,
Speaker 1: because you feel like that's the only way to gain
Speaker 1: desirability and your current body. And that's how we were
Speaker 1: taught to gain desirability in our bodies. And it's really
Speaker 1: fucked up because we enjoy sex too, and I would
Speaker 1: love to be able to be like somebody it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love sucking, but it's always going to be taken
Speaker 1: as like, oh, because you eat, you could eat dick.
Speaker 1: Or because like how I used to get on okay Cupid,
Speaker 1: like it is it is it true that big girls
Speaker 1: appreciate sex more because they don't get it enough? Which
Speaker 1: is that big girls suck dick better because they don't
Speaker 1: have sex a lot nobody else wild. It's wild, but
Speaker 1: it happens. And so that's like what is using most
Speaker 1: of the conversation is all these dumb ass questions about
Speaker 1: fat girl sexuality that they obviously exist for some reason somebody.
Speaker 1: It's obviously like a very much consensus around like men
Speaker 1: that want to have sex with fat women but don't
Speaker 1: know how to talk, and they won't open out, they
Speaker 1: won't be open on social media to admit that these
Speaker 1: are the type of women they preferate, Like they'll date
Speaker 1: like and and so like I've dealt with and even
Speaker 1: in my bigger size that will publicly be with Victoria's
Speaker 1: Secret models and go out and claim these small girls
Speaker 1: and be like, oh my god. But so many friends
Speaker 1: that have that, like even the niggers they with would
Speaker 1: be like he only he only repost than women, and
Speaker 1: like we've been together for like two years, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like that's very strange. That's not what I heard
Speaker 1: that because they would turn it into like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: just my social media, why are you bugging? Especially when
Speaker 1: tumbler was like a really big and easier to reblog
Speaker 1: certain photos and stuff. It's easy to get caught up
Speaker 1: in that. But like, also you seeing how your partner
Speaker 1: interact in those ways? Why are they reposting people that
Speaker 1: looked the complete opposite of you? But they'll tell you that, no, Like,
Speaker 1: it's not that that's interesting. What I find interesting about
Speaker 1: that is how, like, Okay, I worked with someone at
Speaker 1: my last job who was maybe almost four hundred pounds, skinny,
Speaker 1: white dude. She dated, and she was never fucking short
Speaker 1: of a date, right, always meeting people, and she was active,
Speaker 1: wasn't like not able to move around, and like would
Speaker 1: go to the doctor. And oh, I asked her when
Speaker 1: Mandy got VSG. I went to the hospital that day.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I wanted to ask you, like, um,
Speaker 1: what do you know about it? I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: on my way to go see my What She's like, well,
Speaker 1: I know that my doctor told me I was healthy
Speaker 1: and if I wanted to get it, I could and
Speaker 1: I chose not to. And she's like, and I sometimes
Speaker 1: feel like because I am bigger, people always wonder why
Speaker 1: I'm not getting it, and She's like, and it really
Speaker 1: drives me nuts, Like I can go to a health
Speaker 1: professional that tells me I'm okay, and people still feel
Speaker 1: like that's the choice I could make first of all
Speaker 1: your friends lucky, because that's never the conversation and how
Speaker 1: it goes to a doctor. I was gonna say, even
Speaker 1: when I was growing, I was labeled obese. They go
Speaker 1: by to be my scale, and even though I had
Speaker 1: thighs and hips and to me it was proportionate. I've
Speaker 1: always been told from when I wasn't maybe twelve years old,
Speaker 1: because I'm obese on this b a my scale, that
Speaker 1: I risk high cholesterol, unhealthy sleep out and only was
Speaker 1: for shorter people and a certain reason of the fucking country.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry of the like of the world
Speaker 1: and was used to keep track of that populations like
Speaker 1: health status is still being used today. I wouldn't even deny.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even go as far to say that honestly,
Speaker 1: not not only be in my because I've gone through
Speaker 1: this whole procedure of losing weight and have two friends
Speaker 1: that have done vs. Both three friends who have done VSG,
Speaker 1: one who did VSG, and the gastric the gastric bypass.
Speaker 1: I know that as someone who's been considered obese for
Speaker 1: pretty much majority of my life, there's no way at
Speaker 1: four pounds a doctor is saying, oh, well, you're healthy,
Speaker 1: you don't really need it because they're they're a doctor,
Speaker 1: which I still think is weird. When they do speak
Speaker 1: to fact, they're not thinking of like, oh, you're fine,
Speaker 1: They're thinking of like preventive measure for whatever, like insurance, whatever,
Speaker 1: the fun So like they're usually more and like you
Speaker 1: can come in there and not even be seeking anything
Speaker 1: that's weight related. Like when I went to a doctor
Speaker 1: I want to say last summer and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's like a you know, public doctors like through the
Speaker 1: community or whatever. I went in there um for like
Speaker 1: a blood test because I needed to get tested and stuff,
Speaker 1: and this woman literally was like, Okay, well obviously we
Speaker 1: need to sign you up for a kind of colle
Speaker 1: just visit and then a nutritionist visit, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so serious. I never went back. I still get
Speaker 1: emails and phone calls from then to this day. My
Speaker 1: first E N T tubes put into my ears because
Speaker 1: I have very bad sinuses. I talked about it on
Speaker 1: the show. So I went in there for my tube.
Speaker 1: Both my ears got infected, so they had to drain
Speaker 1: it and then put the tubes. And mind you, he's
Speaker 1: an e n T. He goes to ask me if
Speaker 1: I have snoring problems, and I'm like, I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: you have sleep apnea because you're fast. So but literally
Speaker 1: literally a lot of people that are not fat sleep, right,
Speaker 1: It doesn't right, loss can help you said, um, well
Speaker 1: the people around me, Yeah, I have, but I mean
Speaker 1: I was able to sleep. The sleep apnea is that
Speaker 1: you can have shortness of breath. So it's not even
Speaker 1: really the snoring, but it's more so that when you're sleeping,
Speaker 1: if you're big, if you have if you're large in size,
Speaker 1: that while you're sleeping, you could miss the breath and
Speaker 1: you could probably die. Like you here's the interesting thing, right,
Speaker 1: because the sleep happening a thing if it was true,
Speaker 1: or the snoring, and you stopped when you got your VS.
Speaker 1: You mentioned that how do you like doctors in essence?
Speaker 1: Figure out if they can help you, and how do
Speaker 1: you want them to speak to you? I would ask,
Speaker 1: I don't know because the nutrition this thing I think
Speaker 1: is too far. But to sleep on anything, I think
Speaker 1: sleep at the thing that went even that she didn't
Speaker 1: even make the appointment for the Ganda colleges, but she
Speaker 1: made sure to make that published nutrition. She's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't really do anything that's colleges because she's not
Speaker 1: here today because it was like after a certain time,
Speaker 1: like oh, but the nutritionists is so you may you
Speaker 1: went our way to make the doctor's appointment for the nutritionists.
Speaker 1: It is well because like I'm looking at you and
Speaker 1: I'm like, and here's another thing that's like I really
Speaker 1: want to talk about. It's like, oh, how could they
Speaker 1: say that she's not that big? Because what is that big?
Speaker 1: And who defines that? Because in my opinion, I've been
Speaker 1: seeing fat phobia and I'm like, I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's real. But then I also I'm confused because
Speaker 1: I'm like I saw some girl like you ain't that
Speaker 1: big to the girl that was big, and I just
Speaker 1: think it's weird. I just think it's weird because there's
Speaker 1: this It's what a lot of like fat women currently
Speaker 1: deal with in our community of like, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: that big or I'm not that far gone or I
Speaker 1: haven't let myself go that back. So there's some redeeable qualities. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so when it's like so when we kind of
Speaker 1: wrap up the conversations and that it's not about like, oh,
Speaker 1: that being fat doesn't come with health issues because everybody
Speaker 1: that says and claims that and just that's the blankets
Speaker 1: statement and leave it alone. I feel like there's some
Speaker 1: element of truth to it. I'm not stupid, But to
Speaker 1: make that the cornerstone of whether or not I deserve
Speaker 1: respect as a human being is the issue. So if
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you look like you have diabetes, so
Speaker 1: that makes me less of a person. I think that
Speaker 1: I have diabetes, Why do I have to like bring
Speaker 1: a clean bill of health to be told whether or
Speaker 1: not I'm able to be treated like a person, Especially
Speaker 1: when it comes to like people asking about like your
Speaker 1: medical records and like as a fat person, feeling like
Speaker 1: you have to offer up that kind of information to
Speaker 1: kind of Okay, she's clear, she doesn't she doesn't have hypertention. Guys,
Speaker 1: like we can be nice right now, Like that's weird,
Speaker 1: Like why are we all asking people that around the board,
Speaker 1: Because we don't, and I don't like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't even ask people that are sick, like, oh,
Speaker 1: when's the last time did it? Because that's not how
Speaker 1: we're e gauging how to respect other people. So I
Speaker 1: think that's really interesting, especially when it comes to dealing
Speaker 1: with health and people talking about health, that most of
Speaker 1: the time that's where they're deriving whether or not they
Speaker 1: respect somebody from a health conscious point of view. But
Speaker 1: you're not doing that two smaller people that might have
Speaker 1: chronic illnesses, that might have like diseases that they're dealing
Speaker 1: with that they might even be born with or you know,
Speaker 1: acquired later in life that people might think they are
Speaker 1: typically are for larger bodies. So it's just outside of
Speaker 1: health though, how you're talking about respect, it's also the value.
Speaker 1: When I when I was bigger, um, I felt like
Speaker 1: people thought I should be happy that anybody wanted to
Speaker 1: have sex with Talke. And that's how I felt in
Speaker 1: dating and but even you you you received that from
Speaker 1: women and men because I remember I was I was
Speaker 1: dating this this football player, um, and one of the
Speaker 1: girls knew when I got you know, knew that I
Speaker 1: was with him. In Indiana, da da da, And he
Speaker 1: was like, it's so funny to me how bothered she
Speaker 1: is that I deal with you and so mad. So
Speaker 1: she hopped in my d m uh got her body
Speaker 1: done girl from Miami um and she had like you know,
Speaker 1: the small ways big as her whole body was done
Speaker 1: and she and he he was like, yo, she's known
Speaker 1: other girls. I fun but now I don't know why
Speaker 1: it's you, but you bother her so much. So she
Speaker 1: slid in my d m s and literally trashed me
Speaker 1: because of my size, my weight, and like, I don't
Speaker 1: know why he would want you at he's sucking me
Speaker 1: and all of this. And so even as women would
Speaker 1: come to me and be like how dare you fuck
Speaker 1: her when you're fucking me? And I looked like this,
Speaker 1: so you get you get it from the other women
Speaker 1: and the men, because those are the ones that like
Speaker 1: to perpetuate that, and then like it doesn't exist when
Speaker 1: you say something about it, like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Fat phobia doesn't event obviously in my whole life, but
Speaker 1: definitely terrible women women do. They do it all the
Speaker 1: time because they're like because that's it's different, especially like
Speaker 1: which is sad because we're getting to be we're getting
Speaker 1: but like the fact that like that is still something
Speaker 1: that women internalize as I'm not as bad as this person,
Speaker 1: and there's something missing from me because this person that
Speaker 1: I find desirable is not is also dealing with this
Speaker 1: other person that I find undesirable. I have a question
Speaker 1: right when we're on this topic. I was googling fat
Speaker 1: phobia and like hot takes on it, and I want
Speaker 1: to know this one. And I've seen someone say it
Speaker 1: to Mandy actually, and I don't know if you responded
Speaker 1: or not, but it was in our comments on her
Speaker 1: VSG episode. Someone said, um uh no, it was a
Speaker 1: big chick that wrote a blog saying, No, I'm not
Speaker 1: fat phobic because I'm fat and want to lose weight.
Speaker 1: Can we talk about that in confidence and what your
Speaker 1: opinion is? Seriously, that is something that people throw in
Speaker 1: your face when you lose weight a confident person. No,
Speaker 1: it's internalized because you can still be fat phobic and
Speaker 1: be a fat person. That's how you could be anti black,
Speaker 1: be black person when you want to separate yourself as
Speaker 1: far as possible from this community that you are very
Speaker 1: clearly a part of because of negativity that you feel
Speaker 1: is attached to them living the way that they exist.
Speaker 1: So and I deal with that a lot. That's why
Speaker 1: I've had to actually start un following people that start
Speaker 1: that because I'm not against intentional weight loss. I think
Speaker 1: that conversation needs to be more nuanced than it is.
Speaker 1: But if we were not against it, I'm not against it,
Speaker 1: But I also think that if the right conversation surrounding
Speaker 1: fat phobic we're happening before this super surprise intentional like
Speaker 1: weight loss, it wouldn't be this much of an issue.
Speaker 1: Because you have a lot of influencers that make their platforms,
Speaker 1: that make all their profit off of our community and
Speaker 1: never want to bring up the existence of fatphobia. They
Speaker 1: just talk about, Oh, I have this new dress from
Speaker 1: the new Anthropology line because now their size inclusive, and
Speaker 1: it's really cool when it's the ugliest dress I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: But then they'll turn around and come back six months
Speaker 1: later and they've had a surgery to make themselves smaller,
Speaker 1: and we're just not supposed to address it. You've made
Speaker 1: all your money off of this community by telling us
Speaker 1: how we should feel and how things are going for you.
Speaker 1: But see that's the conversation why I'm interested. It's like
Speaker 1: just okay, I'll just talk about why it is and
Speaker 1: then you'd be okay. So like a VSG. That's because
Speaker 1: to me, I feel like it's very unfair to me. Um.
Speaker 1: I did say there was maybe a false pretense of confidence,
Speaker 1: fully because what people were saying to me, as far
Speaker 1: as the woman in my d M, as far as
Speaker 1: the men wanting to only have sex with me, because
Speaker 1: I was certainly yeah, but don't feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: with it no more, and I didn't like. But also,
Speaker 1: living in New York, it's the wintertime, boots don't go
Speaker 1: up my cats, I'm not fitting jeans, jackets, and layers
Speaker 1: are not closing because of my way. And so even
Speaker 1: though I have this confidence because I am who I
Speaker 1: am and I'm still bagging nigga, I'm still doing this.
Speaker 1: So how weight loss, how she's doing it right now?
Speaker 1: All right? But you said that girl that posted it
Speaker 1: and then got a surgery, you didn't like that. But
Speaker 1: then because she came out of nowhere and just expected
Speaker 1: us to just take that and not have any kind
Speaker 1: of conversation surrounding it. But we gotta sit here and
Speaker 1: talk about all the different fashion Noble Hall she's doing
Speaker 1: with the plus size like lingerie, and we all know
Speaker 1: what that means. Everything is more nuanced than a lot
Speaker 1: of people in the plus size influencer, and she want
Speaker 1: to act like it is. It's always caused for a
Speaker 1: conversation because we're not allowed to have those comps. I've
Speaker 1: never had a conversation with another fat girl that has
Speaker 1: been as honest as the ones that I'm having now,
Speaker 1: because it's always like, well, maybe it's just you know,
Speaker 1: I just have to go and run around the track
Speaker 1: and maybe things will change, but no one's discussing how
Speaker 1: things are supposed to change. I just slim fast. I
Speaker 1: tried to change my diet. What's the first time you
Speaker 1: ever put on a diet or was on a diet?
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In middle school, I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: when my mom would take me and my my breast
Speaker 1: started filling out quicker than they should have. I had hips,
Speaker 1: I had thighs, So these conversations when I went to
Speaker 1: the doctor my sister was smaller, I was being told
Speaker 1: I was obese at a very early age. And then
Speaker 1: of course when I got to adulthood, just moving to
Speaker 1: New York, going into college. Um that freshman fifteen turned
Speaker 1: into over the four years, I gained ten pounds a year.
Speaker 1: I gained fifty pounds over four to five years, and
Speaker 1: to reach two hundred and thirty pounds at my peak
Speaker 1: at five ft one. And that's why even though even
Speaker 1: though people are saying, girl, you're not a BBW anymore.
Speaker 1: I've posted my before and after picks. I've been very
Speaker 1: open about the procedure, what it's caused, as far as complications. Afterwards,
Speaker 1: I talked about my acid reflux now that I have
Speaker 1: and it's super bad now and the things that I've
Speaker 1: had to change what I'm eating. And so, yes, this
Speaker 1: girl did this weight loss and now she's like flawing
Speaker 1: around and Ladree like, I'm smaller now, so let me
Speaker 1: get into But you're not owning up to the thing
Speaker 1: is you can be somebody that isn't a larger body,
Speaker 1: that is confident, and you might either derive your confidence
Speaker 1: from some where else or you might feel good in
Speaker 1: your body at that time, but at some point it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're not dealing with the very negative
Speaker 1: effects of fat phobia. And if and if you're like
Speaker 1: very upfront and honest with your followers, which I think
Speaker 1: they still owe to us because they're the ones that
Speaker 1: people are actually listening to and they have the reach.
Speaker 1: But I just think it's unfair. And the reason I
Speaker 1: have brought that up is because I always found it
Speaker 1: unfair to say that someone can't love anybody they're in,
Speaker 1: which is really why I liked with Lizzo said to
Speaker 1: Charlotte Mane when he was like, you wouldn't look at
Speaker 1: the kids, she was like, oh, I would look good regardless,
Speaker 1: which I didn't really. I didn't really like that that
Speaker 1: interview because he was so focused on the fact that
Speaker 1: she was not only just that, but like that she
Speaker 1: had lost a significant amount of weight. She was homeless,
Speaker 1: So why are you like focused on the weight that
Speaker 1: she lost. Yeah, she like during that she used to
Speaker 1: be homeless, and like she would like go to the
Speaker 1: like Trony for our fitness and shower in there, and
Speaker 1: like she literally lost a lot of weight because she
Speaker 1: was homeless and he wasn't. She couldn't afford food. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And he was stuck on how she looked when she
Speaker 1: lost the weight, and I'm just like, you're asking her
Speaker 1: about how much weight she lost and what she looked
Speaker 1: like and trying to compare back to how she looks
Speaker 1: now she was fucking homeless? Are you kidding? So she's like,
Speaker 1: he's more focused on the weight loss and the fact
Speaker 1: that she had no food to eat she was homeless.
Speaker 1: I watched an entire episode because I was like, okay, alright,
Speaker 1: because all my friends like did you see it? Did
Speaker 1: you see us? Like na, So I watched it. I
Speaker 1: honestly don't think they focused enough on her music. They
Speaker 1: focused a lot on her body. But then what I've
Speaker 1: really found disrespectful was him focusing on her weight loss
Speaker 1: during her homeless I think people are obsessed with focusing
Speaker 1: on her body because, well, one thing I want to
Speaker 1: talk about that I know you're gonna disagree with, but
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about like fat phobia, trolling one
Speaker 1: if it's real, how it opened everyone's eyes with Lizzos ship,
Speaker 1: and I'm weird. I'm still like it took that long
Speaker 1: to like show everybody something to really be happening, right,
Speaker 1: and it's been happening. I mean, I think that it
Speaker 1: was more like mainstream because it was so jarring. But
Speaker 1: here's my main question for you, because I was teetering
Speaker 1: back and forth a lot on this one. I did
Speaker 1: like the outfit, It's okay not to like the Alpha
Speaker 1: was hideous too. I started getting confused in my head
Speaker 1: because I didn't like people's reactions, and then I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm team Lizzo Fuckett. But then I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: am I really serious because I didn't like the outfit.
Speaker 1: It's like, like Crystal said, it's okay to be in
Speaker 1: both camps at the same time, because I honestly think
Speaker 1: that was a terrible outfit. I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: have T shirt dresses, so when I saw the first photo,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, she's in the T shirt dresses and
Speaker 1: so like, I honestly feel like the outfit is terrible,
Speaker 1: but it is the reaction to it is very much
Speaker 1: like something that needed to be calling the question whether
Speaker 1: or not her like not the actual questions or like
Speaker 1: not the actual outfits appropriateness as a whole, because because
Speaker 1: I feel like the kids too, because what they watched
Speaker 1: poor on their phones, same same thing a few weeks,
Speaker 1: the same thing then. But then after this, she also
Speaker 1: talked with her panties out in Chick fil A, like
Speaker 1: I did not see that. It's just it's just a
Speaker 1: lot so to me, so um so. Jerome Trammel was
Speaker 1: our opener host to our show in Atlanta, and he
Speaker 1: brought up the post of fat phobia. I want to
Speaker 1: ask you because this is me and him went back
Speaker 1: and forth a little bit on it, and even when
Speaker 1: we had our guests and we talked about Lozzo a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago, Um, this is do you know what
Speaker 1: she's talking about? He's slim. So my question to you,
Speaker 1: um is, so to me, when people bring up these
Speaker 1: fat phobia problems that people are portraying to meet, I
Speaker 1: don't like someone to point out that it's fat phobic.
Speaker 1: Mind you, we brought up she could be asking for attention.
Speaker 1: The outfit is terrible. There's all these things. And so
Speaker 1: let me ask your opinion on people who decided to
Speaker 1: bring up fat phobia who have never experienced fatphobia. Do
Speaker 1: you find it okay for them to kind of pledge Oh,
Speaker 1: y'all are all fat phobic? It only because she's fat. No,
Speaker 1: because I think it's hollow. And if you're not going
Speaker 1: to do the work to actually explain to people why
Speaker 1: it's platphobic in terms of like the semantics and the
Speaker 1: language used around what was happening, as opposed to just
Speaker 1: jumping on this bandwagon that you think is pally correct.
Speaker 1: And that's where that's where the hollow that's where the
Speaker 1: hollowness is like okay, but like and that's why it
Speaker 1: turns other people off when you're trying to discuss what
Speaker 1: fat phobia is because like, like I said, it's possible
Speaker 1: to think that ALFA was terrible because it was, but
Speaker 1: also when you see the criticism surrounding the outfit, none
Speaker 1: of it really makes Nobody wants to say yeah, but
Speaker 1: like it just nobody wants to see that it was
Speaker 1: like all of these things people are like literally cherry
Speaker 1: picking out of like what is appropriate to be shown.
Speaker 1: They were talking about the seats being dirty, and they
Speaker 1: were talking about the children, and I'm like, okay, but
Speaker 1: like I'm not even trying to be that person. Your
Speaker 1: children see a lot worse on a daily basis, so therefore,
Speaker 1: a big black woman's ass is not going to corrupt
Speaker 1: your children. The children thing I actually got really annoyed
Speaker 1: with because the cheerleaders, which everybody, everybody's critiquing it. It's
Speaker 1: like literally the cheerleaders are right, there's seat thing. But
Speaker 1: I think that the seat thing was also like a
Speaker 1: random thing to pull out. It was random because everybody
Speaker 1: wanted to have something to say that wasn't fat over it,
Speaker 1: or they wanted to make it seem like it wasn't
Speaker 1: fact right, So that situation I didn't I didn't read
Speaker 1: what he said. Um, so I can't really comment on
Speaker 1: it too much, but I am curious to know how
Speaker 1: do people and this I guess could go in a
Speaker 1: box for white people with their Black Lives Matter ship,
Speaker 1: which gets super annoying sometimes. How does skinny people then
Speaker 1: become allies and especially with intersexual feminism, not celebrate bigger
Speaker 1: women's bodies and then be called like you know, just
Speaker 1: using your verbon hollow like he's not a woman, right,
Speaker 1: he's an LGBTQ advocate, So it's like, okay, I'm all
Speaker 1: four women, I'm all for people. How do you keep
Speaker 1: in that box and and and be with your activism
Speaker 1: and support people but then not be called like it
Speaker 1: can't be opportunistic? Why are you wait till now to
Speaker 1: say something? She can do with fatphobia since her career started.
Speaker 1: It wasn't just this this might have been like this
Speaker 1: might have been like the tipping point, but this is not.
Speaker 1: So you feel that that's I think a good point
Speaker 1: to see. So like using that as the catalysts can't
Speaker 1: be performative, and I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 1: that we're like, Na, this is fat phobic, without willing
Speaker 1: to offer a follow up in terms of what fat
Speaker 1: phobia is and show examples of how she's been dealing
Speaker 1: with this. What is it? And fat phobia is a
Speaker 1: very negative set of attitudes, behaviors, and societal like beliefs
Speaker 1: about somebody that lives in a larger body that's not
Speaker 1: seen as socially acceptable. And that literally is a systemic
Speaker 1: issue to the point where it affects uh, it affects insurance,
Speaker 1: health insurance, being able to have your children with you,
Speaker 1: It affects how you shop, It affects your employment and
Speaker 1: effect get paid. It affects everything, And people don't want
Speaker 1: to acknowledge that because it's still seen as something that
Speaker 1: you can change, because it's not like being born with
Speaker 1: a leg or not being born, you know, with like
Speaker 1: a skin disease or something like. It's something that they're like, well,
Speaker 1: you should have or control over this, and it's also
Speaker 1: seen as a moral issue because with the Ten Commandments
Speaker 1: and people talking about how gluttony is one of that's
Speaker 1: directly tied to morality and over feeding yourself, that the
Speaker 1: result of a larger body is over training when they
Speaker 1: don't think about the fact that a lot of people
Speaker 1: are born. I've been fat since I was a child.
Speaker 1: This is not something that just happened. When I went
Speaker 1: through a time. That was a conversation I had this
Speaker 1: morning with the dude. I was stating right like, um,
Speaker 1: I was writing out things I wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: with you, and I was like, you know, I know
Speaker 1: a lot of girls online that are bigger than me.
Speaker 1: When I would post myself and lingerie and what my
Speaker 1: stomach wasn't all the late flat and I would talk
Speaker 1: about a fuba, they would get angry with me. Girls
Speaker 1: around my side and be like, oh yeah, I got
Speaker 1: a muffin top today. It fluctuates daa. But girls that
Speaker 1: were significantly bigger than me, we're not working with me
Speaker 1: for it. I don't preach positivity because it's not my lane.
Speaker 1: I don't need to um and it's just not something
Speaker 1: I connect with as much as I connect with feminism. However,
Speaker 1: I am interested in knowing how you feel when, when
Speaker 1: and if a girl my size would say something like that,
Speaker 1: and if you feel like we can because that conversation
Speaker 1: about this conversation on the podcast and we we went
Speaker 1: back and forth. I told her, I told you, I
Speaker 1: thought that I agreed with you. Yeah, I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't really care first someone her size to even be
Speaker 1: doing the food or body positivity type don't do positivity
Speaker 1: type post. But I love my body. Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not body positive. I don't like body positively. At
Speaker 1: the current state it is right now, I think it's
Speaker 1: very performative. The people that needed the least are the
Speaker 1: people that benefit from the most. And I honestly feel
Speaker 1: at this point it is now a marketing point and
Speaker 1: we're going to move on to something else chasing. But
Speaker 1: there's another thing cloud chasing for ad companies that are however,
Speaker 1: there's an thing with that though. Bro, when I'm on
Speaker 1: the subway and now I see big girls in lingerie,
Speaker 1: are they cloud chasing me? Or and now we're putting
Speaker 1: it in everybody says it isn't better? Is it an
Speaker 1: is it an ad of a company? That's already made
Speaker 1: sizes for us or because but that's the thing where
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you gotta take it, like I like
Speaker 1: seeing it. And I also understand how someone who can
Speaker 1: be bigger can say it's cloud chasy or it's bullshit,
Speaker 1: but so now they're not supposed to well I can
Speaker 1: I can get that from Like when the answering the
Speaker 1: first question you ask, I think that when smaller women
Speaker 1: or like straight sized women as they're usually called, are
Speaker 1: able to talk about their body in a way that
Speaker 1: um kind of talks about what they feel are flaws
Speaker 1: or what they're uncomfortable with on their body, the language
Speaker 1: that they're using is something that they already um attribute
Speaker 1: as negative that somebody else is already living with. So
Speaker 1: like if you're like, oh I have a fopa, Oh
Speaker 1: I have muffin top, Oh I have roles, Oh I
Speaker 1: feel fat, it's just like I don't know if you'll
Speaker 1: talked about it in a way of like there's a
Speaker 1: difference between feeling fat and being fat, and you're already
Speaker 1: attributing negative word because you already know how fat people
Speaker 1: are treating. I really like that feeling fat and being
Speaker 1: fat because because now that's what I find interesting. I
Speaker 1: want to say one more time, I've never ever I
Speaker 1: do not do body positivity posts because that's not my
Speaker 1: either don't like but you see it's not on there.
Speaker 1: But I definitely always talk about FOPA because I have
Speaker 1: a really big fluctuating into my weight and oh, I've
Speaker 1: noticed that I've felt uncomfortable and which is why I
Speaker 1: wanted to take ownership of it. When the girls are
Speaker 1: talking about flaws that are straight sized women, like you said,
Speaker 1: do you feel like that is ownership of it or
Speaker 1: it's them brushing off criticism of what could be because
Speaker 1: I don't think it's ownership. I think it literally is them,
Speaker 1: like if you want to, I think it's a because
Speaker 1: I don't believe in absolutism. I think it's like a
Speaker 1: whole spectrum of like how they feel fatness affects them,
Speaker 1: because like I tell people, fat phobia affects everybody. They
Speaker 1: are not fat or terrified and being fat. There are
Speaker 1: studies showing that people rather be blind than fat, and
Speaker 1: would rather have other terrible things happen to them physically
Speaker 1: to be fat. Because all the people want to deny
Speaker 1: fat phobia, they know what fat phobia is they know
Speaker 1: how fat people are treated. They know how fat people
Speaker 1: mentally systematically. So so that's why when I was like,
Speaker 1: it's not fair the worst, they're the worst because it's
Speaker 1: perfectly set up to not have fat people there, especially
Speaker 1: in New York. When I moved here and I would
Speaker 1: make funs. I look at slim ask restaurants, there's like
Speaker 1: four chairs in there and it's like this small, most
Speaker 1: like table. It is set up in a way to
Speaker 1: where fat people are not allowed to participate. Come to society,
Speaker 1: and if they have a problem with it, they need
Speaker 1: to go lose weight so that they can conform to
Speaker 1: what society thinks it's acceptable enough to treat them with
Speaker 1: respect is human beings. And when you have somebody that
Speaker 1: already gets that respect just by just off of the
Speaker 1: strength of then existing in a non fat body, attributing
Speaker 1: all of these negative factors to problem areas they feel
Speaker 1: are issues on their body because you're not being treated
Speaker 1: like us in a person, because you have a food,
Speaker 1: not being treated like you can't raise your own children
Speaker 1: because you have a muff. You can do things like
Speaker 1: I'll remember, seven months before my surgery, I went with
Speaker 1: my coworkers. This is when I was working at an
Speaker 1: investment bank and me and all of the co workers
Speaker 1: that were on my level, we went to six Flags.
Speaker 1: Do you know do you know one of the rides
Speaker 1: the thing it wouldn't close. Do you get do you know?
Speaker 1: Do you know? That's when that's when, honestly, a lot
Speaker 1: of people are like, like, you know, but you were shapely,
Speaker 1: you weren't that big. I've been on planes where I
Speaker 1: got in the emergency seat and the bar didn't lift up,
Speaker 1: and so I felt squashed on an airplane seat. So
Speaker 1: when I went to six Flags and the thing wentn't closed,
Speaker 1: and he's literally trying between my you're not ride this ride.
Speaker 1: I cannot ride this ride with my coworkers because of
Speaker 1: my size. So that's like my problem. When I see
Speaker 1: the slim people talking about, you know, their size, their
Speaker 1: food with their arms there, Oh my god, on this,
Speaker 1: I'm not That's where like it didn't it internalizes with me,
Speaker 1: like you have no fucking idea. Yes you may not
Speaker 1: like your pupa, but there's been things that I have
Speaker 1: not been able to physically do. Even when I went
Speaker 1: to Dubai, a little African flew me to Dubai. We
Speaker 1: went to the NASCAR Ferrari. There's a Ferrari World out
Speaker 1: in Abu Dhabi. We went there. One of the riots,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't close over my hips and thighs and we
Speaker 1: literally had to get up and I was in tears.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm ready to go. But in my size,
Speaker 1: there have been things that I was not physically able
Speaker 1: to do. I joke about not writing Dick because it's
Speaker 1: a lie. I'd had a breath, yeah, all that. But
Speaker 1: when I was bigger, there were literally things that I
Speaker 1: could not physically do that happened around people and they
Speaker 1: saw that because of my size, I was affected. So
Speaker 1: in talking about body positivity and people who are smaller
Speaker 1: and people who I believe like cloud chase off of
Speaker 1: this body positivity movement, when it comes to people who
Speaker 1: are slim and who have never been a victim of
Speaker 1: fat phobia, I do have problems with people trying to
Speaker 1: bring the conversation of fat phobia when that's something they've
Speaker 1: never ever had to experienced a series of isolated incidences,
Speaker 1: And I feel like, because there's still, for lack of
Speaker 1: a better phrase, there's still not enough room to have
Speaker 1: conversations about fat phobia. I really do think that if
Speaker 1: if finism wants to continue progressing and be intersexual, especially
Speaker 1: since we go into this next wave, we're going to
Speaker 1: have to address fat phobia. We're already getting to a
Speaker 1: point where we're being forced with Sesta Foster to discuss
Speaker 1: horophobia and like decriminalizing sex work because we had to
Speaker 1: actually throw in people's spaces. There had to be put
Speaker 1: something put in place to have everybody pay attention, which
Speaker 1: they didn't, And now everybody trying to ax surprise that
Speaker 1: Instagram and dating apps and all these other websites are
Speaker 1: now blocking them for content and like censoring stuff. Everybody's
Speaker 1: trying to act surprise, like Wow, maybe if you would
Speaker 1: listen to all the sex workers that were talking about
Speaker 1: what Sessa Foster is going to do instead of actually
Speaker 1: helping the people they think they're going to help, we
Speaker 1: wouldn't be in a situation. But I think it's going
Speaker 1: to get to a point where they're going to have
Speaker 1: to listen because it doesn't just affect whether or not
Speaker 1: I'm buying close somewhere, which fun facts like three places
Speaker 1: in New York I could buy closed places, But it's
Speaker 1: also yeah, but it's also affecting it on a personal level,
Speaker 1: and like what I talk about with my pages that
Speaker 1: talked it affects me on a sexual level too, because
Speaker 1: I'm expected to not even know what sexuality is in
Speaker 1: a larger body, and I'm, like she said, I'm only
Speaker 1: supposed to like take what i can get, be appreciative
Speaker 1: of whatever dick's coming back, be fetishized, or like shut
Speaker 1: the funk up about it. And everybody's response when you
Speaker 1: bring up fat phobia is either their discomfort, their body
Speaker 1: issues they want to share with you not in a
Speaker 1: fat body, but also the fact that if you want
Speaker 1: to be treated better, you have to lose a significant
Speaker 1: amount of weight to be even treated as a human,
Speaker 1: which I still think it's gross because why can't I'll
Speaker 1: be treated as a human while I'm taking dick, Like
Speaker 1: so you're you're basically saying that you're gonna put your
Speaker 1: dick in anything. But I'm not a person, And during
Speaker 1: that situation, the lead up to, during, and after, I
Speaker 1: don't have to be treated as a person or expect
Speaker 1: to be treated as a person because as a fat person,
Speaker 1: I don't deserve humanity. And that's what it is. That's
Speaker 1: like at the very core of it. And that's why
Speaker 1: I wanted to discuss it more in terms of sexuality,
Speaker 1: because like that leads to a lot of like that
Speaker 1: that is a part of rape culture, and people don't
Speaker 1: understand how like being socialized to be used as an
Speaker 1: instrument just to be seen as like desirable happens a
Speaker 1: lot with a lot of fact when whether or not
Speaker 1: you're in charge of her sexuality, whether or not you're
Speaker 1: more like assertive with it, there has been a like instance,
Speaker 1: like an instance or ongoing situation where you feel like
Speaker 1: this is the only thing that I can provide to
Speaker 1: this person to keep them around because they do not
Speaker 1: see me as a person. That's where I really wanted
Speaker 1: you to come because I feel like after watching a
Speaker 1: lot of your stories and stuff like that, and even
Speaker 1: someone that doesn't experience it, like just wanting just knowing
Speaker 1: our listeners seeing what they look like, I know I
Speaker 1: need it like a little bit, like do it. It's
Speaker 1: not about seeing it, it's about recognizing that you benefit
Speaker 1: from it. So like ask somebody that's not in a
Speaker 1: fat body, you're like already benefiting from fat phobia because
Speaker 1: you're being being treated better out of spite of fatphobia,
Speaker 1: because you're not in a fat body, so therefore you're
Speaker 1: not you're not existing in a way that is so
Speaker 1: like seen as a failure at moral failure, like an
Speaker 1: employment failure, social failure. So you're being seen as somebody
Speaker 1: that is human. And even though it might I'm not
Speaker 1: saying nothing bad happens to you because you're not fat,
Speaker 1: but it's just like the way that you're being treated
Speaker 1: an approached by people, talk to you, by people, treated
Speaker 1: by your partners. Oh, I know and acknowledge that. I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: I don't deal with fat phobia too often or have
Speaker 1: too many conversations about it, but I know that around you.
Speaker 1: I knew that it was necessary because of one people
Speaker 1: around me, to our listeners, and three the fact that
Speaker 1: if I am a feminist and is and this is true,
Speaker 1: I have to consider all women and what they look like. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you have to consider all the ways in which
Speaker 1: you benefit from something that purely exists, because people do
Speaker 1: not think that people that live in larger bodies are human.
Speaker 1: And I felt like this was necessary to just to
Speaker 1: know that, like we all might treat people that are
Speaker 1: bigger than us away and not even see it. And
Speaker 1: I really wanted that I opening perspective from someone else.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, Mandy has been through weight loss,
Speaker 1: I mean journey and done so many episodes on it,
Speaker 1: and it always feels like it's never enough of a
Speaker 1: combo because at the end of the day, I go
Speaker 1: through instances all the time where I'm seeing it happened,
Speaker 1: whether Niggas is talking about big Girls, whether it's on
Speaker 1: online every day, just the fucking Lizzo wave, like it's
Speaker 1: all of the fucking time, and it's like, especially after
Speaker 1: that ship, I was like, I just want one more
Speaker 1: where people can actually know and understand how it feels
Speaker 1: on the other side because I don't know, right. And
Speaker 1: like I said, when I say food and things like that, um,
Speaker 1: it's not a guilt trip to make someone feel bad
Speaker 1: for me because I don't need it. I'm just saying
Speaker 1: I love and like my body the way it is.
Speaker 1: But also when you are talking about your body, if
Speaker 1: you're not in a fat body, as a feminist, you
Speaker 1: have to think about whether or not that's something that
Speaker 1: is boring for misogyny or a faphobia. The way that
Speaker 1: I like my body, the way that if you might
Speaker 1: have an issue with your body, because I don't. Because
Speaker 1: a lot of women that aren't fat, they're dealing with
Speaker 1: their body through the lens of misogyny, not fat phobia.
Speaker 1: I think the only way out my body no not
Speaker 1: to wait. I bought tits, and I think I know
Speaker 1: I wanted them, and I wanted them for myself. But
Speaker 1: the older I get, I also know why. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't a man that made me get him,
Speaker 1: but was it? Though? Okay, it's okay to think about it,
Speaker 1: because did I feel less desirable because I didn't have it?
Speaker 1: And like, I definitely think that that's the one thing,
Speaker 1: not particularly weight um, but definitely getting it. And I'm
Speaker 1: super happy I got it because I feel very sexy
Speaker 1: with it. But I've never been a girl with curbs.
Speaker 1: I've never had a big as, i've never had hips.
Speaker 1: I've been teased on this show for not having it
Speaker 1: like that, and I'm not doing that on some victim
Speaker 1: pity party ship because I already know that that's misogyny though,
Speaker 1: but that's also in my mind, like the way that
Speaker 1: I think that some skinny girl should goes just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not curvy enough, and as we've all internalized misogyn right,
Speaker 1: we're brought up with the misogyny. So if it's like
Speaker 1: somebody telling me they don't feel like their curves is
Speaker 1: big enough, their ass is not big enough, that's something
Speaker 1: that's completely different from like fat phobia, because it's like
Speaker 1: you're dealing with things. You're dealing with your body under
Speaker 1: the umbrella. That's a lot more interesting because I've heard
Speaker 1: people say that's skinny bitch wolves. I don't call it
Speaker 1: that anymore because I still be with the ship. I
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's but I think it should
Speaker 1: be looking at and you looked that through another lens,
Speaker 1: because it is through a lens of misogyny and not
Speaker 1: something because because I'm only saying that because that's usually
Speaker 1: what's used as a rebuttal when you say, hey, I
Speaker 1: don't like being treated like ship fat and then they're like, well,
Speaker 1: hey I don't have ass, and all the boys in
Speaker 1: high school and they talked to the curby girls like yeah,
Speaker 1: because those are the one sucking dick to get liked
Speaker 1: and you probably didn't have to. So it's just like you.
Speaker 1: I've never used not having courage because my hair the
Speaker 1: way that braid of my hair did it and it
Speaker 1: was a very awkward six hours. Bitch, I do feel
Speaker 1: like i'd be mad about how like I've been mad
Speaker 1: at like, oh I wish I had this, but I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever weaponized. And like I nik, I
Speaker 1: don't want me because of this. No, because what's for
Speaker 1: me is for me. Bro See, look, you used the
Speaker 1: word weaponize because that's what they do. Yeah, they do,
Speaker 1: they do. Look at me, I'm my fake why fake wonk.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying through the conversation, I see the wheels turning. No,
Speaker 1: I see the word. I see the wheels turning. I
Speaker 1: see Like you're like, oh that's interesting. Oh like okay,
Speaker 1: because like I'm not saying that then women don't have voes.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that they're completely different from what something
Speaker 1: else might be doing. So like if I came up
Speaker 1: to you and let's say you were like a white woman,
Speaker 1: and you're just like, oh, I just do it so
Speaker 1: much because men don't respect me and dada, and I'm
Speaker 1: just like okay, but just you know, that's something that
Speaker 1: would usually be used in response to like a black
Speaker 1: woman saying like hey, when I go to work. I
Speaker 1: have to change the volume of my voice. I have
Speaker 1: to code switch. I have to make sure I wear
Speaker 1: things that don't show off my curves too much because
Speaker 1: it will be seen this inappropriate something today. And I
Speaker 1: think the biggest thing that I'll take from you that
Speaker 1: I will change about what I do. I always say
Speaker 1: feeling that I mean. Obviously I'm not saying oh I'm
Speaker 1: I've definitely said I feel fat, and I've never thought
Speaker 1: about what it would feel like for someone else to
Speaker 1: hear that it is, but it's it's in my mind
Speaker 1: how I feel it. Even when I'm on my period,
Speaker 1: I'll use that word I feel like that, and I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not gonna do that anymore. I appreciate you for that.
Speaker 1: I want to get into the homemail before we get
Speaker 1: out of here. Um, this one is good because it
Speaker 1: actually kind of stems to you on what you said
Speaker 1: earlier with the broken negget, so that this is a
Speaker 1: hole that deserves it all. Hey, ladies, I just want
Speaker 1: to start by saying how much I love y'all. You've
Speaker 1: talked me through a pretty painful and dramatic breakup earlier
Speaker 1: this year, and now you're teaching me about this whole
Speaker 1: life and all the craziness that comes with it. Dating
Speaker 1: has been a wash for me lately, since me too.
Speaker 1: I'm not looking to be in a relationship with anyone
Speaker 1: at this time, but I do enjoy getting to know
Speaker 1: new people and going out on dates. Here is where
Speaker 1: the problem lies. My last relationship was with a man
Speaker 1: that didn't have much of anything. He was always in debt,
Speaker 1: never out of car, and had some pretty bad addictions.
Speaker 1: I stayed with him for over three years because I
Speaker 1: felt like I could help fix his situation, and because
Speaker 1: the duke was so bombed and all capitalised me, obviously
Speaker 1: I couldn't. We broke up in four months later, he's
Speaker 1: engaged to a white girl. But that's another story for
Speaker 1: another time. Anyways, I'm twenty three years old, college educated,
Speaker 1: attractive black woman that pays for my own car, apartment,
Speaker 1: and student loans, and I have a pretty great job
Speaker 1: at a nonprofit. Basically, my ass is deserving of a
Speaker 1: man that matches my energy and has the means to
Speaker 1: improve my life. However, all the men I seem to
Speaker 1: attract are typically broke or like ambition of any kind.
Speaker 1: You've done at least two episodes on sugar dating in
Speaker 1: the past, but seeking arrangements is whack. And as a
Speaker 1: black woman, finding the right sugar daddy that is willing
Speaker 1: to consistently spoil mentor and isn't just wanting to pay
Speaker 1: for play, situation is heard outside of sugar daddy's How
Speaker 1: do I position myself to receive the abundant blessings of
Speaker 1: five niggas that are willing to simply show me the
Speaker 1: finer things You both seemed You both seem to do
Speaker 1: it with ease. And I know these men exist here
Speaker 1: in Dallas, Texas. Can't wait to see you guys at
Speaker 1: the show. Love a broke nigga magnet, Come on Dallas.
Speaker 1: They do exist in Dallas, you do. But also they
Speaker 1: got many in Texas, specifically Houston. You have a lot
Speaker 1: of the oil money down there. Um, I would say, here,
Speaker 1: so here's something that me and my friends talk about. Um.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to go out and and buy
Speaker 1: luxury items, but I will say, um, you do attract
Speaker 1: what you put out. Um. So I would say, dressing
Speaker 1: a certain way when you go to either nice restaurants
Speaker 1: or out to a club, making sure your shoes are
Speaker 1: well kept, your outfit is nice, your hair is laid.
Speaker 1: So even just maybe putting more effort into what you're
Speaker 1: put out, keeping your nails done and literally just coming
Speaker 1: across more well kept does attract people who either want
Speaker 1: to spend money on you or people with money. There's
Speaker 1: also two things to be said to with your appearances.
Speaker 1: It's levels, right, like the way that I'm dressed right now,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing like orange pants, big chunky boots and sweater
Speaker 1: or whatever. This is how I like to dress. I'll
Speaker 1: dress casually and when I'm going out and hanging out
Speaker 1: with friends. But there's levels to ship if you want
Speaker 1: to niggle on a different level, and that's not the
Speaker 1: niggas you're running into when I'm in my orange pants
Speaker 1: or chunky heels. You I believe you should dress better
Speaker 1: than normal or even have a tire four that ship.
Speaker 1: Like I had my sugar Daddy clothes. I have my
Speaker 1: solo house clothes. Bro, I have my I'm going on,
Speaker 1: I have Hampton's clothes to loom clothes. Then I have
Speaker 1: my Caid Coon clothes. Like I think that we're like
Speaker 1: just throwing in like that fucking Oh, I've got a
Speaker 1: cute dress that I word to the club. Normally, well,
Speaker 1: don't wear it when you're catching a sugar Daddy because
Speaker 1: that's not the same one. But not aly that just
Speaker 1: knowing your your space. Now you're dressed. So yesterday after
Speaker 1: the studio, UM, I end up going out hanging out
Speaker 1: with my homeboy is Sante. But then one of my
Speaker 1: friends invited me to SLBs. I had on Forces, jeans,
Speaker 1: a sweatshirt, real chill. Then Katie was throwing a holiday
Speaker 1: party at Catch Steak, so his brother hit me and
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, are you coming to the holiday party?
Speaker 1: Kevin's having it and I was like, Nigga, I'm on
Speaker 1: Forces and jeans. I know that I'm not going to
Speaker 1: go in to Catch Steak where there's gonna be other
Speaker 1: NBA players, there's gonna be you know, probably team execs.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be niggas with money. I can't go in
Speaker 1: there with air Forces. I felt way more comfortable meeting
Speaker 1: my other homeboy SLB's chilling, rocking it out. So it's
Speaker 1: also knowing and being aware of the spaces that you're
Speaker 1: gonna be put in. If your friend is inviting you
Speaker 1: to a hotel lobby to have drinks and you know
Speaker 1: it's a nice hotel, definitely dressed the part. If you're
Speaker 1: gonna go to the Lower East Side and have drinks,
Speaker 1: you're probably not gonna find the person that you would
Speaker 1: expect to spend a lot of money on. And I
Speaker 1: think that's another thing too, with like expectations with like
Speaker 1: getting money out of niggas, like not every number you
Speaker 1: get so like and I really I want to talk
Speaker 1: about Cutty with this because I think she might have
Speaker 1: mentioned in her book and I read her book two
Speaker 1: years ago, but like, if you're, you know, trying to
Speaker 1: get money out of every single nigga you fuck with
Speaker 1: because you're following a person like Cutty who's excelled in
Speaker 1: this or even listening to this show and hearing us
Speaker 1: talk about niggas that we funk with like that, no
Speaker 1: one understand. Everybody at this table is fucking roe nigger right,
Speaker 1: but still has preached about the rich nigga and game
Speaker 1: money cannot pass them in the same net. Like you
Speaker 1: can't think that when you were chilling out a dive
Speaker 1: bar and met a dude that he's going to give
Speaker 1: you the same type of ship that someone else might have.
Speaker 1: It's just I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: like it's set your expectations realistically where to find them.
Speaker 1: Hotel lobbies are like the number one place I've always
Speaker 1: read online. That's like across the board. What they've said
Speaker 1: is a thing. Yes, because it's undercut a lot, specifically
Speaker 1: on the West coast in l A. Of course, well Vegas,
Speaker 1: it's kind of they don't really do it too much.
Speaker 1: But in l A, my friends would go to the
Speaker 1: nice restaurants and hopes of finding someone, and even sitting
Speaker 1: at a bar they got caught. Well, there was an
Speaker 1: undercover cop because they will look to see if you're
Speaker 1: trying to um, you know, sell yourself. Women as well, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that woman that was just staying at the hotel and
Speaker 1: they were like, obviously you're here, and they kicked up
Speaker 1: the hotel and rest. Oh wow, I didn't hear about this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So like that if you were trans black, but you
Speaker 1: just can't be in the lobby, why would you in
Speaker 1: the lobby. That's that's insane. But even as my friends,
Speaker 1: you know, with their bodies down, are dressed a certain
Speaker 1: way that people automatically assume they're there for sex work. No,
Speaker 1: but we're just here to get the nice cocktails. We
Speaker 1: have the money to pay for them. But yeah, like,
Speaker 1: and that's been something even being with my friends where
Speaker 1: we've been looked at and we'll be like, oh, they
Speaker 1: think we're here working, even if we're not. We're just
Speaker 1: there to eat good food. It happens to me one
Speaker 1: time where I realized the dude thought I was a hole.
Speaker 1: And when he thought it, I almost I was like,
Speaker 1: I smiled and laughed because I couldn't leave it. I
Speaker 1: was at hunting Fish in New York. That's the number
Speaker 1: one place for sugar daddies, thought fish. If you're in
Speaker 1: New York, hot Fish is where you go to get them.
Speaker 1: But even our cameraman is smiling. That is the number.
Speaker 1: Is the number? The number one. I was in. I
Speaker 1: was suited when I was, you know, working in tech,
Speaker 1: and I came in there, but under my suit I
Speaker 1: were like maybe a lace like thing under the blazer.
Speaker 1: This dude was like from New York, honey and the
Speaker 1: honey thing. I was like, yeah, I'm not from here,
Speaker 1: but you know I live here. And I was like
Speaker 1: I worked nearby and he's like, oh yeah, okay, and
Speaker 1: he's like, well, I'm staying nearby. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: cool number one. I was like, I actually live on
Speaker 1: fifty four right and at the time, And it's funny
Speaker 1: because I didn't realize I was sounding like I was
Speaker 1: being inviting. Yeah, And right before he left, he was
Speaker 1: like listen, like I do this all the time, but
Speaker 1: you know, I think you're great. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm not at home, but I am no.
Speaker 1: But I was like yeah. When he left, I felt
Speaker 1: insulted and like hot at the same time. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you were like carry from sexist yet that day. I
Speaker 1: hate that episode because she was really in her feelings
Speaker 1: about that. I was like, grow up Sundays I love
Speaker 1: with Samantha said you have power between your legs and
Speaker 1: he got power in his pocket. It wasn't a direct quote,
Speaker 1: but it was something like that anyway. It was so
Speaker 1: I just realizing whatever the time ed and keeps looking
Speaker 1: at me. I don't know if you ever someone to go.
Speaker 1: Mandy couldn't even be here past two weeks. I was
Speaker 1: about to get scancer. I can't say something real quick though.
Speaker 1: How we were talking about like the whole bad energy
Speaker 1: and closing portal. She like that know how to close man,
Speaker 1: it funny. How many's Mike bro though? How what? How? What?
Speaker 1: Look at your microphone? What about it? Your mic broken?
Speaker 1: Arts energy? I know because the devil dig and I'm
Speaker 1: talking about it. It's not it's one of their wives.
Speaker 1: I'm serious. Listen, let's not talk about everything in the
Speaker 1: studio falls apart. Let's not. Let's really not. I don't
Speaker 1: want to say, God damn this dude. So it's not
Speaker 1: motherfucking double days. Listen, listen this this podcast that don't
Speaker 1: even record out of here anymore. Goddamnit. So anyways, but shots, nigga,
Speaker 1: it ain't the double dick energy. I'm not cursed. It's
Speaker 1: the motherfucking Mike stand anyways, or it is a lord
Speaker 1: father god full at full card pops. Listen, I'm about
Speaker 1: to add to understand or underscore to my name. Maybe
Speaker 1: I think it's one on maybe two. They can and
Speaker 1: they know all my A k A. They don't. They
Speaker 1: don't motherfuckering curse everything. Anyway, before we get out of here, Ashley,
Speaker 1: can you give our listeners where they may find you,
Speaker 1: if you have any websites, if you have anything going on,
Speaker 1: well you can find me an actually, Chubby Bunny Um,
Speaker 1: that's a s H l E. I g H chubby bunny.
Speaker 1: That's all one word on Instagram. I don't really use
Speaker 1: any other social media at the moment. I also in
Speaker 1: the vein of what I'm talking about, have a lingerie
Speaker 1: party coming up February sixteen. Yeah, we have. We had
Speaker 1: wanted June that was called Centerfold. It was laundry party.
Speaker 1: Went really well. So we're doing it again and I'm
Speaker 1: running it with my friend Venus Cuffs, and I'm very
Speaker 1: excited to have that happen again because the first one,
Speaker 1: even though there was drama, it was a success. It
Speaker 1: will be here in New York. It'll be here in
Speaker 1: New York. It would be at three dollar bill in Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: So you have to give us the flyer. I would
Speaker 1: definitely have to post that. Yet we're taking our photos
Speaker 1: like next week, pot I will happen. Yes, so I'll
Speaker 1: get that to you. But that's what we're doing. Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 1: I do appreciate um you coming in here. Um even
Speaker 1: even for us going on tour. When we first decided
Speaker 1: to do merch we we we bought quite a bit
Speaker 1: of shirts. We we bought it in bulk and when
Speaker 1: we brought it to Atlanta as one of our first
Speaker 1: Atlanta shows. This was maybe two years ago. UM, my
Speaker 1: friend who did the table um, who was also bigger,
Speaker 1: she went through the surgery as me. She's like, girl,
Speaker 1: you have people that wanted to buy shirts, and you
Speaker 1: guys did they were too you guys didn't have the
Speaker 1: bigger sizes. So even again, I want to thank our
Speaker 1: patrons because because of you, we did a large order.
Speaker 1: But we went all the way up to three x
Speaker 1: L on our tort shirts just because we do want
Speaker 1: to include Yeah. So um, I do apologize for that
Speaker 1: misstep two years ago for those of you who came
Speaker 1: to our show in Atlanta and couldn't get merged because
Speaker 1: we didn't have your size. Um. But yes, for our
Speaker 1: tour March, we do go all the way into three X.
Speaker 1: And there's that three X kind of looked like I
Speaker 1: tell you right now, I want to take your skinny
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Speaker 1: horrible Decisions. Three things you and your partner app here
Speaker 1: to have in commons so you can answer this. Me
Speaker 1: and you, this is to say six questions to love
Speaker 1: each other. Um, what do we have in common? I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie. People listen to us, and I think
Speaker 1: now that we're three years in, they realized we don't
Speaker 1: have much in common outside of tol. We both love
Speaker 1: to suck dick and we we both get our hair
Speaker 1: done with we've we both love to travel, we both
Speaker 1: love we both love our friends a lot. We love
Speaker 1: our friends. We both like ethnic foods. I was gonna
Speaker 1: say we both like bougie things, but I blewis bitten
Speaker 1: per across it. And you see, I got a very
Speaker 1: very jacket. But this is just now like things that
Speaker 1: I couldn't afford. Um, and I also used to so
Speaker 1: the niggas that I've when I talk about sugar daddies
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. All of the men that I've
Speaker 1: dealt with are those that won't buy me. They would
Speaker 1: never they would never buy me tangible thing. They would
Speaker 1: buy me things for school, they would pay for my bills,
Speaker 1: they would do things for my livelihood. But they're they're
Speaker 1: not materialistic niggas. So now that you know, they know,
Speaker 1: I really don't need that money that way, if I
Speaker 1: do ask for something, it's like, oh, I want this,
Speaker 1: and they're okay, Like I'm waiting on these wire cell
Speaker 1: shoes right now. So it's also, yes, the pump that's
Speaker 1: my Valentine's list, that's what only what I'm getting. Well,
Speaker 1: it's crazy because so they have a boot version and
Speaker 1: open toe versions and pumpers. So the boots are seventeen
Speaker 1: hundred the and the other two are. So I was like,
Speaker 1: the boot is seasonal. Open toe was also seasonal because
Speaker 1: we live, I said, the pump I could wear a
Speaker 1: year round. I would get in those shoes by the way.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, but see even my even on Louis, it's
Speaker 1: on like, um, combat boots they said are uncomfortable. Not
Speaker 1: for those. Yeah, that's what I want. I know that
Speaker 1: you like ship like this, but that's kind of tacky.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not tacky. He's like, listen, it's
Speaker 1: too over the top. He's like, it's not. Then you
Speaker 1: could dress it down, but you can wear that with
Speaker 1: cargo pants. I was like, I don't know why you
Speaker 1: feel like it's too much. He was like, I think
Speaker 1: it's too showy. He was like, I'll get you some
Speaker 1: while I sell ship, but it's not gonna be all
Speaker 1: over it. And I'm like, then this body standing mad it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie like I'm one of those that
Speaker 1: didn't grow up with money. I don't have family members
Speaker 1: that have money, and to me, I don't believe in
Speaker 1: spending so much money on something. So I was talking
Speaker 1: to my homeboy about it, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna buy something, the monograph is gonna be
Speaker 1: only because they're gonna know if it costs to a hundred,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna because they gonna see it. I don't
Speaker 1: want just a leather black leathers. I felt like the
Speaker 1: y s l like he'll was tasteful and not that
Speaker 1: much and he's like no, he was like, real, Nias
Speaker 1: know when you have a certain kind of time. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know I don't know a bit started walking
Speaker 1: down the street with well, actually the y saw doesn't
Speaker 1: have the very round front with a certain kind of thing.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Nah, okay. Nine is for what in your
Speaker 1: life do you feel us fray full? Ten If you
Speaker 1: could change anything about there raised, I would be eleven.
Speaker 1: Tell take four minutes and tell your partner your life
Speaker 1: story and as much detail as possible. I think that's
Speaker 1: a good one too. Um. If you could wake up
Speaker 1: tomorrow morning having gained one quality or ability, what would
Speaker 1: it be? Can I get into my side fake? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh so I would want to be able to teleport
Speaker 1: anywhere in the world. Wow, mine was totally different. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of magical powers. We like, what what abilities are
Speaker 1: you talking about? I was gonna say I would want
Speaker 1: like one quality. I would want like I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to be like super strong, Like I'm trying really hard
Speaker 1: to like build strength, like that's something that's so important
Speaker 1: to me, Like being able to lift myself up doing
Speaker 1: certain ships like that, and I feel like a failure
Speaker 1: every time, and so like my I T band has
Speaker 1: been sucked up. I haven't been able to work out,
Speaker 1: so it's all upper body. I'm gaining weight. That's funny.
Speaker 1: I can't do pull ups for ship like. My upper
Speaker 1: body strength sucks, but my lower body these things stronger,
Speaker 1: but most people are. I can squat and do yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's how I have a lot of lower body strength. Um.
Speaker 1: Except if a crystal ball could tell you the truth
Speaker 1: about yourself, your life, the future, where would you want
Speaker 1: to know? I know about my life. I don't believe
Speaker 1: in learning about the future. No, I don't want to
Speaker 1: know about the future. You know, I was going to
Speaker 1: say the same thing. I don't want to I don't
Speaker 1: want to know about the future. Actually, the only thing
Speaker 1: about the future I would want to know, if I
Speaker 1: could specify, I would want to know when or if
Speaker 1: I'm ever gonna find love. I would want to know
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna be like Oprah and just care about
Speaker 1: my money in my career, or if I'm genuine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: seman doesn't really count. I don't think so. I think
Speaker 1: that they're just chills her partner. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: about that. I just think if people say that I'm here,
Speaker 1: I don't know. But okay, so think okay, okay, well,
Speaker 1: oh no, me too. But then Tracey Ellis Fross in
Speaker 1: her fifties, fabulous, but still no partner. The same for
Speaker 1: a Maya beautiful chick. Never she ain't never would either Chili.
Speaker 1: I don't want to end up like Chili, so I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. Like to me, if I could specify,
Speaker 1: I want to know if I'm ever gonna find love
Speaker 1: or if love just is not in the cards for me.
Speaker 1: I would want to know that so I can get
Speaker 1: off these dating apps and stop shooting my shot in
Speaker 1: these niggs. So I would I would kind of want
Speaker 1: to know maybe when I meet my soul mate, Like
Speaker 1: for example, let's say they say it's in and be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do all the gang thangs and should I
Speaker 1: need to do now because I'm gonna meet my nigga.
Speaker 1: But maybe if I know I'm gonna meet my soul
Speaker 1: mate this year, bet I'm gonna I'm a sloan down.
Speaker 1: But if my nigga are you, I'm a race to
Speaker 1: that finished. But I mean, I'm gonna be likely coming.
Speaker 1: But if I know that I may not meet my
Speaker 1: soul mate for another ten years, I think then I
Speaker 1: would stop putting so much emphasis on, you know, my
Speaker 1: dating strategies, and and the time I spend going back
Speaker 1: to men in the past or trying to meet new
Speaker 1: people that can mean more to me. It's jail.