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Speaker 1: What what what? What? What? What? What? What up? Good

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Speaker 1: morning or afternoon or goodness? I started trying to count

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Speaker 1: after three and I was like, I mean we go,

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Speaker 1: we go? What's up? Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions?

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Speaker 1: This you girl? Maindi b Hi. I'm wheezy, So I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited for this episode. Actually, I have to tell

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Speaker 1: you a few things. So I've been a fan of

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Speaker 1: yours for a while. I really love your page really

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Speaker 1: and when I met you, I was like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: does not fun with me. She give me the total slide.

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Speaker 1: I know because you met me at my friend's event

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Speaker 1: and I was already lit, so like like, I literally

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Speaker 1: when you met me, my friend Valerie was the one

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Speaker 1: that put on the event. I think, um, do you

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Speaker 1: think it was one of your friends? Because there's so

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Speaker 1: many dinner up in the house. There was a few

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Speaker 1: people doing it. Okay, I showed we had her on

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Speaker 1: the show. She is the b K, not the the

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Speaker 1: violet b K did that event. That's right, I didn't

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Speaker 1: know you were. Let yeah, I thought maybe he was

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Speaker 1: like not sucking with me. Were smoking outside we were,

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Speaker 1: but we finally b K, that's your friend? Is that

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Speaker 1: the one that I made out with, and that's the

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Speaker 1: one I'm like, that name sounds for me. So what

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Speaker 1: happened is I had um. I did a panel for

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Speaker 1: Protects at UM Daniel Saint who's been on our show.

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Speaker 1: He does and that's so I met all of the

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Speaker 1: House of Yes people and they were like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you have to come out. And I got really drunk

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Speaker 1: that night and so up She's like, Hey, up with

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Speaker 1: your co host last night. I was like, there's no way,

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Speaker 1: Like if she knew that we fucked, that would have

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Speaker 1: never happened. Yeah, she was like, but he didn't remember

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Speaker 1: making out. Work should be happening though, because there's made

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Speaker 1: a lot because I'd be going to because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm queer, but let be going now that I'm like

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Speaker 1: with more queer people. Every time I go into a space,

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Speaker 1: it's like everybody suck each other. Yeah, like good ship. No.

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Speaker 1: I mean, should I be in vr P if if

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Speaker 1: I'm with the right athlete and then't brought the right

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Speaker 1: holes there? Hey, I'm making that with him too, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean emmy doing I tell you why I thought

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Speaker 1: that because I have your go skinny girl bos ready.

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Speaker 1: I always felt like a lot of body paws girls

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Speaker 1: don't funk with me because sometimes I'll post and talk

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Speaker 1: about my weight or how I'm feeling, or use the

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Speaker 1: word fat for myself, which a lot of people do

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Speaker 1: right there, like I'm feeling fat or talk about a foopa,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I know that what I'm saying is

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Speaker 1: in my head how I'm feeling. And it's also probably

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Speaker 1: coming across as like bitch, fuck you because you ain't

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Speaker 1: that big, but you acting like you are. But am

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Speaker 1: I acting like I am? Am I allowed to say

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Speaker 1: those words, And I want to have a really open

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Speaker 1: conversation about it because I want to know what it

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Speaker 1: feels like on the other side of the table when

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Speaker 1: you see smaller bitches doing a ship like that. And

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Speaker 1: I mean, i'math said because I've been across the table

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Speaker 1: from you for three years and when we've gotten it,

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Speaker 1: we've we've had that conversation with Tao, who came on

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Speaker 1: if you guys want to listen back to maybe the

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Speaker 1: first time. We've got to hold on also real quick

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Speaker 1: before we get into this, can you introduce your name,

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Speaker 1: what what you go buy, and what you're known for

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Speaker 1: on social media? Because she she did send me your page.

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Speaker 1: Your page is phenomenal, So what made people know you ever?

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Speaker 1: Really good? Like, I don't know what your purposes with

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Speaker 1: your page, but it's fun. It is. It's fun. So

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I think she would be dope.

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Speaker 1: So can you introduce your name, what we call you

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Speaker 1: for the show, what you go by, and what you're

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Speaker 1: known for. My real name is actually in the Cold

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Speaker 1: triple yes, government. I'm trying to make it a thing

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Speaker 1: to use my middle name because I grew up in

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Speaker 1: the night time of like Jonathan Taylor Thomas's and like

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Speaker 1: white people can use all three day names, why can't I.

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Speaker 1: It's a good act like that of black people using

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Speaker 1: the third like the middle name. But I will say

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Speaker 1: a lot of black people have the middle name baby girl. Yes,

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Speaker 1: my middle day. My cousin's name is the Cold. That's

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Speaker 1: what I got my share one thing. It should be

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Speaker 1: the same age and it was popular. Nay, how old

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Speaker 1: are you? Names are popular amongst your there trendy? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so that makes sense. And so what are you

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Speaker 1: known for? I'm known for my page Ashley Chubby Bunny,

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Speaker 1: which um as of like seen is when I actually

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Speaker 1: started posting more things but before then I was known

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Speaker 1: on Facebook for being a little bit more outspoken writing essays,

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Speaker 1: and then on Tumbler for basically just reblogging like there

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Speaker 1: but like and then like talking about my experience as well.

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Speaker 1: Is that your job? No, um, as of right now,

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Speaker 1: my job is like freelancing on social media, but like

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Speaker 1: that was like it's a job, but like it's not

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Speaker 1: like a career. So I think, I mean when you

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Speaker 1: are really like known and centered or on something. So

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Speaker 1: I know you said three years people have heard our conversation,

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Speaker 1: but I think specifically with you, the fat phobia I

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Speaker 1: have never read about and seen so much more often

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Speaker 1: than I would say, maybe even the last twelve months,

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Speaker 1: maybe even the lower like six months, I feel like

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Speaker 1: becoming very apparent. And I also see people saying that

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Speaker 1: it's not real until that I want to talk about too.

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Speaker 1: So that's really where I want to dig into that

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Speaker 1: ship today. But for now we're gonna start with Vanilla Ship.

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Speaker 1: So Vanilla Ship is our segment where we talked about

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Speaker 1: sex in the news. This one was sent in to

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Speaker 1: me by friend Marcus Sanders. Manny's about to pull it up.

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Speaker 1: It's really I really think it's from queerty dot Com.

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Speaker 1: It's insight for gay News and this one is hilarious.

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Speaker 1: Um also shout out before we um go into this,

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Speaker 1: shout out to Pastor core Elle Scott, who was our

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Speaker 1: guest last month. An amazing the vanilla ship for this

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Speaker 1: week is a pastor who says he used oral sex

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Speaker 1: to suck demons out of men near a New Jersey minister. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's hilarious, right, I take this to play parties. I'm like, not, Jesus,

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Speaker 1: it's just because it's hot. I'm did so. A New

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Speaker 1: Jersey minister accused of sexually assaulting his parishioners has launched

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Speaker 1: a creative defense. He claims he was sucking demons out

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Speaker 1: of them by performing fallacio. Sixty nine year old Reverend

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Speaker 1: Dr William Weaver faces a lawsuit by four former parishioners,

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Speaker 1: three men one woman, who claimed that the Presbyterian ministers

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Speaker 1: sexually assaulted them when they came to him for spiritual counseling.

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Speaker 1: Documents obtained by Newsweek revealed that during counseling sessions, we

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Speaker 1: were asked the three men to strip naked and lay down.

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Speaker 1: He would then place an angel coin on their heads,

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Speaker 1: as well as sacred stones on their hands and ankles

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Speaker 1: before performing oral sex. You know, honestly, if you dressed

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Speaker 1: it up with the stones and ship. He said it

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Speaker 1: came from something we were allegedly told his victims that

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Speaker 1: he needed to suck the demons out through their seamen

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Speaker 1: and that the ritual had come from Native American lore.

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Speaker 1: At least one victim also reported we were kissing him

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Speaker 1: on the mouth during Do you guys watch The Keepers Netflix?

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Speaker 1: I don't watch that yet. Fabulous one, seriously, really good. Indeed,

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Speaker 1: do you remember that he was saying that you have

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Speaker 1: to suck out or this is my holy water. You

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Speaker 1: embodied the spirit of God from sucking my Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what they did on there. This picture, I need to say,

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Speaker 1: real picture where well we know he not doing this.

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Speaker 1: Dr will Yeah, I said, we Williams motherfuck up. He

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Speaker 1: looked no, no, no, no, no, no no. He looked

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Speaker 1: like he did right spirit. Oh yeah, he looked like

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Speaker 1: he sucking it. He looked like he did it. Look

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Speaker 1: at that pick, He's like, yeah, I did it. Um,

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Speaker 1: So it's it's crazy because I just went on um

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Speaker 1: grape Vine shout out to everyone at the grape Vine.

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Speaker 1: We had a conversation about how sex is more spiritual

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Speaker 1: than we lead it to believe. Do you guys believe

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Speaker 1: in sex like demons and not that they're maybe attached

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Speaker 1: to your even but do you I lokey do as

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Speaker 1: somebody that like frequents creepy pasta and watch Top ten.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I'm like dying right now, because because

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Speaker 1: like creepy past Oh my god, okay be pasta. It's

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Speaker 1: basically like it's a genre of like scary stories that

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Speaker 1: like have It's like a culmination of urban legends. Read

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Speaker 1: it for a chand threats, all kinds of creepy ship

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Speaker 1: that comes from all over the Internet, and people just

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Speaker 1: literally engage in it and share it. And there's even

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Speaker 1: like this thing that's like I think it's called SPC

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Speaker 1: where they make up like actual fake monsters and characters

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Speaker 1: that they talk about. You creepy pasta when you talk

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Speaker 1: about like it's real, and it's like, I just think

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Speaker 1: it's so interesting and I really love like scary ship

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Speaker 1: and the other stuff that I used to look at

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Speaker 1: wasn't doing it for me, girl, So it's still on

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Speaker 1: a hole. I fell on a hole of all of

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Speaker 1: this stuff. I said, I was gonna start doing some

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Speaker 1: more reading. I'm to start this. I'm obsessed with it.

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Speaker 1: It's so fun, but it's very scary. Do not watch

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Speaker 1: it at night. I'm reading scary stuff. It's actually worse

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Speaker 1: for me. Videos. There's video like reenactment on YouTube sometimes

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Speaker 1: and how they set it up sex. Yeah, let's make

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Speaker 1: it relievable. Thought you thought? That really comes up? So

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Speaker 1: real quick? I want to read what it says I'm

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Speaker 1: into b D S M. Go ahead. It says I'm

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Speaker 1: into b D S M bondage like that. Some people

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Speaker 1: might find that weird, but I'm sure those people are

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Speaker 1: into things others might find strange, so let's not judge.

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Speaker 1: I mentioned this because it's important to what happened. It

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Speaker 1: gives you an idea and it guys read more, and

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Speaker 1: then you just get into it. You wild. It's like

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Speaker 1: you read it and I don't know what it's like,

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Speaker 1: and it actually gives you the reading time I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to give it. I'm dead this way. Well, it says

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Speaker 1: it's seven minutes of reading. I don't want to get

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Speaker 1: into seven minutes of reading, but definitely check out. Maybe

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Speaker 1: we'll just awesome. I love that. Maybe we'll do this

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Speaker 1: for Patreon episode Creeps episode look at you giving us content?

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Speaker 1: All Right, well, I think, um so I'm not. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to put him too much on the screen.

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Speaker 1: We know what that motherile is. Um. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that I could suck out the demons of you three semen,

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Speaker 1: but I do be snatching soul. That's what he thought. So,

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Speaker 1: like I think demons are real because not demons, but

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Speaker 1: and this also could be manifesting too, Like I've met

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Speaker 1: people that I feel like or not just clairvoyant, but

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Speaker 1: have a lot of power in making something happen. Um.

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Speaker 1: For example, like my friend and I were talking about

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Speaker 1: this shout out to Layla. She's actually been on a

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Speaker 1: Patren episode of ours. She's like, I know how strong

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Speaker 1: my manifestation is because I've watched it happen. She's like,

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Speaker 1: my man was teasing me about always getting sick, and

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Speaker 1: she's like, and I was so irritated and so strong willed,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, you are absolutely gonna get sick.

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Speaker 1: Watch I know it. You're going to get sick. It's

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Speaker 1: going to fucking happen. And she's like on some teas

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Speaker 1: and ship she's like two days later it happened maybe

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Speaker 1: he got sick from being around her. Sickens mean, but

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Speaker 1: they together for years and he never got sick. When

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Speaker 1: She's like I was wishing it on him, I was

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Speaker 1: so annoyed with him, she was like, you can absolutely

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Speaker 1: put that ship awesobody. Yeah, I want to ask you

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Speaker 1: because we had um A Milia ortiz On here and

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Speaker 1: she talked about you know, the spirit, like just things

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Speaker 1: with energy and manifesting as well with crystals and ropes.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe in in those things and bringing them

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Speaker 1: into the bedroom or if they can affect your love

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Speaker 1: life at all. I feel like this year I have

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Speaker 1: been more learning more about that because one of the

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Speaker 1: many friends I've had throwing event house, yes Um talked

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Speaker 1: about not only blood magic but sex magic, and so

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Speaker 1: they talked about sex magic through masturbation but also sex

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Speaker 1: magic through like uh like partner simulation, and so like

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Speaker 1: I'm looking more into that right now. But I do

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Speaker 1: feel like that's something that actually does occur, because when

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Speaker 1: you think about it, there's so much like you know,

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Speaker 1: the organs and feels like right, it's like really good.

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Speaker 1: So imagine that power being harnessed and at that moment

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Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, I'm about to Like, you're not

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Speaker 1: thinking about anything else if you just like manifest or

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Speaker 1: think about or visualize something you want to happen. People

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Speaker 1: are saying that when you get to that height, if

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Speaker 1: you do that, it helps manifest situations and circumstances that

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Speaker 1: you want. And I'm like, we have had three people

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Speaker 1: on that I've talked about that. I'm Kristen, which is

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Speaker 1: sluts and feminists. We're white shaped butt read her book

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Speaker 1: at the Blue Stockings bookstore and she came on and

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Speaker 1: she talks about black witches in her book, which actually

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Speaker 1: that'sn't really I was like, I don't call it, but

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Speaker 1: she said, like, you want love, and you want read,

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Speaker 1: you want money, put that fucking green light on. Amelia

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Speaker 1: or tease Um has talked about that as well, and

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Speaker 1: Liz Goldwyn more recently talked about sex magic and I've

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Speaker 1: tried it and I feel like it only works for

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Speaker 1: me when I'm completely invested in and wrapped in, not

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Speaker 1: teasing about it and or Hi, I have to be

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Speaker 1: on some kind of a cadelic to actually connect in

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Speaker 1: that way, or else I start making it like a

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Speaker 1: joke to but I feel like that might be part

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Speaker 1: of the ritual though, because we used drugs to do

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Speaker 1: other things and like get into another plane of like

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Speaker 1: either existence or thought, when we want to actually be

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Speaker 1: a part of something like I don't think anybody just

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Speaker 1: gets high just to get high. People actually like to

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Speaker 1: doff to create Brianda from Super Trip, she gave me

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Speaker 1: some shrooms, was still too scared to ever take. They

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Speaker 1: never took them, and then shout out to our fans

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Speaker 1: who did meet and greet in Boston. The niggas gave

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Speaker 1: us pre rolls edibles. They're really ext they were just

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Speaker 1: bringing it real quick. I smoked one of the pre

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Speaker 1: roles that they gave us. I gave them one of

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Speaker 1: the pre roles while I smoked on the pre roles

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Speaker 1: last night, and the way my motherfucking heart was beating

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Speaker 1: it was some indica I don't remember what then it

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Speaker 1: was called. I was just like, oh not, na, I

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Speaker 1: ain't smoking that ship no more. My head I felt

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Speaker 1: my heart beat and my forehead while I lay down.

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Speaker 1: I think there is a different experience, like you gotta

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Speaker 1: be really comfortable. I think with hallucinogens to like acid troops.

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Speaker 1: I think the number one thing that someone told me

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Speaker 1: that was a great advice, was like, if you have

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Speaker 1: any dark place you could go right now, possibly don't

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Speaker 1: do don't do that, keep telling us what happen. Done yet.

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Speaker 1: That's why ain't done it yet. But I know I'm happy,

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Speaker 1: but there's some deep I'd be bothered by something. I'm

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Speaker 1: just not gonna do it. Like a ghost could be here,

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Speaker 1: but not really. And then like heah, and I think

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Speaker 1: that demons are scary than ghosts because they're not human,

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Speaker 1: they were never human. So therefore, like that's malevolent forces

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Speaker 1: right there. So therefore why would I want to get high?

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Speaker 1: And I'm thinking about all this. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you guys have ever met at a house. I ever

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Speaker 1: met a ghost. Years ago, maybe six years ago. We're

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Speaker 1: in this creepy gass house and we were making joe

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Speaker 1: about how someone died there. Not not only right, oh no,

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Speaker 1: this goes a real bit. I know the lights turned

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Speaker 1: off site. If you're ever in New Orleans, you're New

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Speaker 1: Orleans listener, right. There's a lot of voodoo culture, um,

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Speaker 1: a lot of spirits and things like that. They are

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Speaker 1: always talked about. And this house was very old and

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Speaker 1: there was this box. I want to say it was Latasha.

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Speaker 1: And so Vinnie opens the closet and he said, that's

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Speaker 1: the damn bits closed. I was like, so we're joking around,

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Speaker 1: but the house was fired. It's like six bedrooms, French quarter,

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Speaker 1: like old ship. Right. We're with a bunch of friends.

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Speaker 1: So we come home. Our house is the only house

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Speaker 1: on the block where still I'm sorry, no, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: We didn't know he's listening to it. So the house

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Speaker 1: is the only house on the block that the electricity

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Speaker 1: went off in, and I was like, what the fuck.

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Speaker 1: Turns out it's just an outage in this one electrical box. Bro,

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Speaker 1: we're trying to go to sleep. Latasha is running through

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Speaker 1: the house. Nope, my friends right, shout out to DONALDO.

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Speaker 1: We're sleeping. He's like, Bro. I was like, Yo, it's

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00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 1: out there, isn't it. He was like, I mean it's

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Speaker 1: so late. What are we gonna do? I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I could live with the ghost. When

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00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:17,920
Speaker 1: he comes upstairs highest Ship talking about pay just relax,

309
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,239
Speaker 1: just don't bother her. We're in her space. We're violating.

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Speaker 1: If we just act like we're fine, she's gonna be fine.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, ge Bro. He legit made us sit there

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Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, we called Airbnb. There was nothing

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Speaker 1: else that we can We're fucked right now. So I

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Speaker 1: said what are we gonna do? And he was like,

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Speaker 1: we have to let her know that we're here, established

316
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Speaker 1: our presidents. We was googling how to talk to our ghost.

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Speaker 1: He's like, and let her know that we come in peace,

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Speaker 1: because bitch, we've been talking to it all day. I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, fine, we get a candle. We're

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Speaker 1: all in the fucking kitchen, trying to let her know

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Speaker 1: where chill. Don't you know what tending on them lights?

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Speaker 1: Tart Mica randomly not by calling electricity. This was like

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Speaker 1: seven or six while we all went to sleep, woke up,

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Speaker 1: it was on. I'm like, yo, cool, She was real,

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying now about how y'all like explained that

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Speaker 1: to air and like we need to move just haunted.

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Speaker 1: I wait about the electricity And then I thought if

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Speaker 1: I said ghost, they thought I would have been tripping. Yeah,

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00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 1: it's crazy because me and my cousin's like when we

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Speaker 1: when we were growing up, like my cousin shout out

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Speaker 1: to my cousin Jerry. He used to be into all

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Speaker 1: that ship. So this niggabot Wegi board, no we to

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Speaker 1: night because my mama worked the weekends, so we had

334
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Speaker 1: my cousin's house and he's the ship moving. Now I

335
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 1: know he was making that ship move, but we was

336
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 1: talking to some spirit and we had a whole fucking

337
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,639
Speaker 1: Wegi board and we're all like the lights. Look we

338
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 1: used to do listen, yes, but I don't know if

339
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,679
Speaker 1: he just set that ship up. My cousin Jerry, used

340
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,000
Speaker 1: to be in all this ship and we literally had

341
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: a wegi board and mind you, this was the time

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00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,600
Speaker 1: y'all know, if y'all been listening to the podcast, I

343
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 1: used to be into Charmed like crazy, So like I

344
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,239
Speaker 1: was into all that ship. We was like calling them

345
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 1: the sucy busses and all that ship. And I was like, oh, bit,

346
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 1: we're letting the demons into our lives by bringing them

347
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 1: through Thisuiji board, because you bring them from like the

348
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,440
Speaker 1: other realm under and people don't know how man. People

349
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,440
Speaker 1: don't know how to cut that connection either. They'll be

350
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,040
Speaker 1: freaked out by the Weiji board and they'll just like

351
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 1: throw it away or something, and the spirits will still

352
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 1: be there and listen as an adult now that the

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00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 1: Weiji board there, So like when people like start freaking

354
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,200
Speaker 1: out when the board start bort start happening, they like

355
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,159
Speaker 1: will be like nah, like we're not doing this and

356
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Speaker 1: they don't know how to close the portals of the things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah there, you know what? This remind me of devil

358
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 1: Dick and you scared? Where did I talking about? Big

359
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 1: bitch resolution. She's sorry, spooky big bitch. I'm sorry. Bring

360
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 1: everybody when real people know it's really called my girl.

361
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 1: Just we just brought up a million ortiz and I

362
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 1: was like, yo, when I was oppressed, I was like,

363
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling too good right now and I don't

364
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 1: know what's going on, and I just kind of feel

365
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: like there's just like target on my back. I can

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00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 1: feel this weight. And she's like no, like not even

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00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 1: like I'm saying anything crazy. Yep, absolutely, and maybe somebody

368
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,679
Speaker 1: put it on you. Um. She was like, I can

369
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 1: tell you how to break in, how to cut those cords,

370
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 1: how to cleanse yourself. I was like, yo, can you

371
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 1: recommend me somebody? I'm freaking out and she like with

372
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,399
Speaker 1: no because I'm making not a joke, but like yo,

373
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 1: I feel like blah, blah blah, and she's like, yeah, probably,

374
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,639
Speaker 1: how do you close the portal of that? So so

375
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 1: I'm outking this. So I'm asking this not for the

376
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 1: Luigi board, but I feel like Devil Dick does the same.

377
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:31,479
Speaker 1: So I cut I cut seven off, me and him

378
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 1: no longer fuck. And since then, I've had niggas who

379
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: can't stay hard in condoms. They just like I've had.

380
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 1: I've been trying to find other like just casual sex partners.

381
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 1: And literally since I've cut him off, it's been three niggas. Sorry,

382
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's because the niggas just

383
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: don't want to with a condom. I don't know if

384
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 1: it's the liquor. I don't know if my mind is

385
00:19:55,600 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 1: how tell you because I'm coming out my own Devil

386
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: Dick like Instagram this nie like somebody was like, maybe

387
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 1: he's a sex man, he's a saving like you down.

388
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,600
Speaker 1: This is how bad has been. I literally tried to

389
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 1: u three niggas since cutting this nigga off in October,

390
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:20,440
Speaker 1: and you just don't say hardy nigga. Then I told

391
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 1: y'all maybe in another episode, Patron, I don't know a

392
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 1: nigga paid eleven hundred dollars to find me the Denver

393
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 1: for twelve hours just to get dick. And I was

394
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: gonna go nigga, I got stuck on the runway for

395
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 1: three hours. When I tell you, I've been trying to

396
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,640
Speaker 1: get dick from niggas and since I cut that nigga off,

397
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 1: I have not been able to fuck. So how we closed,

398
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: But I don't know if you want to talking about

399
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,920
Speaker 1: how she married niggas and I gotta married. Here we

400
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 1: go to bullshit, man, I gotta harry that someone prayed,

401
00:20:55,600 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 1: just like j R. Smith's wife prayed. You didn't any

402
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 1: what I ain't got no Kurt coutching, you know, because

403
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: the Mary Nick is still on my phone because in

404
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: the world, bro, all the dick in the world, you know,

405
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: this could be my fravorite. And I was like, you know,

406
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: we ain't sucking. I know, I don't be fucking friends,

407
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 1: but don't want dick. So let's and I couldn't even

408
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 1: get any of you have Spanish because they definitely I

409
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 1: don't even know these nigga's wives. I don't know the name,

410
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 1: how many kids they got. Polly is definitely real because listen, now,

411
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 1: I had Latina biches off your side. They will this

412
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,120
Speaker 1: whole court who I need to close the guy damn

413
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 1: part of for the Devil Day. I feel like that's

414
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do too, because when I talked

415
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: about on my Instagram, when I called that dude, I

416
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, oh, this is a musician

417
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: he has, Like this is the best I've had like

418
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 1: in months, like all year, Like if I had like

419
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 1: a little like years my whole life, like yeah, but

420
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 1: liked like a Spotify playlists if you like think about

421
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: your Dick, like your little plays of the year Spotify

422
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 1: into the year wrap up, like I probably had four

423
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 1: decent Dick appointments, but then like when I have one

424
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: that was like, yes, it happened for a month, like

425
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: your Slidify wrap up, like for a month, like it

426
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: was solid, just like Demon Dick the entire time. Dick.

427
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: I honestly think that after years of joking about this,

428
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: I manifested him. And so every time you say your

429
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: friend's name, I keep having flashbacks about him because those

430
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 1: names are so similar. But I'm not gonna name his name, um,

431
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 1: but like what ended up happening was he was always

432
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: like on time to my place. He would always show

433
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: up and like I knew that that was a bad idea,

434
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: but like it wasn't. Like I would try to get

435
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: past like the unpleasantry so we could fun, and that's

436
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 1: what happened. So I was stuck in that spot where

437
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 1: I literally wouldn't go anywhere. Afterwards, I would play my

438
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: whole day around it. And then like he was able

439
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: to like get away with certain things because I was

440
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: just like, well he's bringing dick, great dick. It's great dick,

441
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 1: and like he's bringing it like regularly and consistency, like

442
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 1: consistently and so like after like I had to kick

443
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: him out of my apartment. He thought that I was

444
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: kidding because I was literally like I was letting so

445
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: much ship slide. And then he said something that was

446
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 1: very that was the last straw, and I kicked him out.

447
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: What did he say? He said that him he said

448
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: to me, not being able to finish that time was

449
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: not his fault because larger people take longer to organs. Oh,

450
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 1: excuse me, say what he said? What he said that

451
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 1: me not finishing like me not having an orgasm was

452
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: not his fault because larger people take longer to work

453
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: as up now bit he would have got fun in

454
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: my life. I'd never like he said that porn right

455
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: now because now I'm like, I'm just text him this

456
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 1: is what I gotta know. Yeah, you're very loud and

457
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 1: proud about when you don't appreciate it. What did you

458
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: like almost could you almost not talk? Nigga? I would

459
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: have know. It was just like it was weird because

460
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 1: the way that I explained to my friends, the whole

461
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: way I would tell him, the stuff he did a

462
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: whole month. I'm just like me seeing him more than

463
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 1: I saw my friends, like because it's all we did,

464
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: and so like we ended up happening. He said what

465
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: I have never but like every time he would say something,

466
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 1: it was worse than the last thing he said, and

467
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,880
Speaker 1: my body was like I was having this for reactions

468
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 1: to it. But I'd be like, is this the time

469
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 1: you're gonna kick him out? Actually? Is this a time

470
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 1: that Dick's not gonna be enough? Is this the time

471
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 1: you're gonna be like? This is you know, like I

472
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: know this is episode that y'all ain't learned. They still

473
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: have it. He's thirty one years old, his life, so

474
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: like I was like, why not say anything. When he

475
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 1: showed me that he had only eleven dollars in his account,

476
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: why don't I say anything? He had broke nigga to

477
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:57,479
Speaker 1: that manifest joke about all he had. Yeah, that's why

478
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 1: I said, like, oh, like what I would actually mean

479
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: hanging out with other men? He was like, we're talking

480
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: to other man. He got self conscious because he knew

481
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: that's all he had was just a dick. So if

482
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 1: somebody else's dick is coming in, he's like, oh, I

483
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: don't understand. Like we're not together, but this is not exclusive,

484
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: but he has that things that I felt were worse

485
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: about it. He's made rape jokes, he's made other things.

486
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: He said other things. Um, he ruined my first viewing

487
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 1: a super Fly, so like it was just so much

488
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 1: going on, and that final thing was like you know

489
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: what he has to leave. He is amazing, movie is amazing.

490
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: I was like, why is it just now taking me

491
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: this really sitting here at my mouth open? And the

492
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 1: reason being is because I want to use you as

493
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 1: an example for strong women that people can't believe get

494
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 1: heartbroken people you can't people you can truly niggas will

495
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 1: really fuck a person up. Who would think that you

496
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: after all everything you preach, it's like, this is really

497
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 1: how men get in your fucking breast and talked about

498
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: it because I was like, I was so embarrassed by it.

499
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: But I was like, nah, first of all, he hasn't

500
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: music careery's trying to promote I'm gonna I'm gonna like,

501
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 1: that's gonna be over. Um. He also has ties with

502
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 1: Zoe Kravitz. I was like, that's definitely gonna be over

503
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: because she about to be our catwoman. Whether or not

504
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: it's gonna be good. Why then are you speaking about her?

505
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: And then on top of that, I wanted people to

506
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: know that even if I am somebody that talks out

507
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: about what I want, how this platform or whatever, or

508
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: this perceived amount of like confidence, this still happens to

509
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: me too. So it doesn't matter like where you're at

510
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: in life or like where you think you need to be.

511
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: Niggas really ain't ship. But it's not only niggas, I

512
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: would say, it's people like even with this we talked

513
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: about we we we you know, we come on this platform,

514
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: We're almost three years in and there's even still some

515
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: Um I went on a pott. It may have been

516
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 1: actually tahos or you know, and we openly talk about

517
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: claiming the slut title and the horse all these things.

518
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: But even to be introduced as a home like, people

519
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 1: don't like that and like, don't demean me, because that's

520
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: the word for meant to demean me. So when a

521
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: man says that, yeah, I just feel away. But it's

522
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: crazy because at the same time I am on this platform.

523
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: Also even with weight, like I've had I've had people,

524
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 1: you know, talk about my weight in certain things, and

525
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: I've I've discussed my journey. But the same way he said,

526
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,479
Speaker 1: you know, well it takes longer for you to come

527
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 1: because of your sides. And I've got niggas who have like, well,

528
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: can I suck you before you lose the weight? Like

529
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,320
Speaker 1: and he said things like that, and it's just like

530
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: you do come off really strong. So to know that

531
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: someone mentioning something about your weight has an effect on you.

532
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 1: I commend you for apartment like I love my apartment,

533
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 1: which I'm like blocking people. You have to get out,

534
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 1: get out, you have to leave. I was like, you

535
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 1: need to leave. And I even like had this whole

536
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: it was like this whole fucking like Angela Bassett monologue

537
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: because I was so I'm telling you, like, we just

538
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: got done having sex, and I'm just not wrapping my

539
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 1: head around the fact that, like, oh, he really not

540
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 1: only came on my ass, but like I didn't come

541
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 1: and then he sat there putting on his shoes, talking

542
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: about it's not my problem. So I'm like still and

543
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: I'm like sitting up in the bed, and I think

544
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: that my subconscious like, actually, this is it. This is

545
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 1: the this is it. So it was like I was like,

546
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: you know what, I was wondering how long did it

547
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 1: take and what would be like the final thing to

548
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,879
Speaker 1: get me to kick you out of my apartment and

549
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: never see you again? And that was that was it.

550
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: And I was just like, how fucking dare you? You

551
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 1: have nothing, You literally have nothing, and like the fact

552
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: that this is what it took for me to kick

553
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 1: you out. I was like, you know, I'm embarrassed, but

554
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 1: I was like, you have to leave. I don't want

555
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: to see you again. Do not contact me, do not

556
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 1: come to my apartment anymore. He thought I was kidding,

557
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: so he tried to kiss me before he left, and

558
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 1: I said, please leave, you not come back. He called

559
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: me and proceeded to harass me from that Thursday all

560
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: the way to that Monday, texting me, let's fun. Are

561
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: you really that mad? Are we breaking up? Or? All

562
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: I said was this, he doubled down. All I said

563
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: is that this is what people too long to come

564
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: and like it's not it's science, is not me. That's

565
00:28:53,480 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: why they have terrible He knows I didn't have a

566
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: question a question, You're nine, this happened recently. Has any

567
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: other man in your life ever, um said anything regarding

568
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: sex and your weight or your weight in your attractiveness

569
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: to them? Um? And can you share some of those

570
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: things that were definitely that happens, like especially since now

571
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: we're using like online apps and stuff, and then sometimes

572
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: in person. I successfully picked somebody up in person at

573
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: the beginning of this year, so that's why I thought.

574
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I can do this. But then

575
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: like I mean the face, I mean, it happens. But

576
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: then like when he like when I would get approached

577
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: by people on dating apps or even not even that,

578
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: because that seems to be an issue in itself. When

579
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: I talk to people, they kind of expect me to

580
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: put in the work. So therefore I've heard it shouldn't

581
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: take all of this to fuck you. You're a fat girl? What? Um?

582
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: This one guy actually yesterday told me he read my

583
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 1: okay Cupid profile and it was like, I don't want

584
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: to be an experiment. Don't talk to me if you're

585
00:29:57,840 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 1: not used to dating women like me. And he was like,

586
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: I don't see you as an experiment. I like, have

587
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: I have? He said, I have other big black girls.

588
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: That's what he said. He was white. He's white. Um.

589
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: And actually what was funny is that the guy that

590
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: I like exercise from my home, the dick demon, um,

591
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: he had me his phone as big black girl, and

592
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: I saw you saw it's not black. I saw it

593
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: when he like screenshot at me when he was trying

594
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: to tell me that I said something that girl big

595
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: black girl, and so like not so many feelings, and

596
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: they don't think that they have to speak to me

597
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: respectfully because it shouldn't be all of that to fuck me.

598
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: That's what this is. Why it's funny. Manny and I

599
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: had a conversation and I think it's because she doesn't

600
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 1: white dudes. I do from time to time, right, And

601
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: I'm always like, I hate the word BBC. And she's

602
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: like I don't know the big deal is, and now

603
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm kind of hitting me a little bit. It's because

604
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 1: if I hear the word I've never heard of nigga,

605
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: like I've never heard dot com, you feel like white

606
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 1: men are saying it, like white men are saying the color.

607
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: I just have a few things to say about this

608
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: nigga that really trips me out. We gotta get off it,

609
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 1: because fuck him. I was on i G Live the

610
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: other day where this dude was like trying to troll

611
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: me that had no picture, and I was like, it's

612
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: always these poor niggas, and someone said, stop trying to

613
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 1: weaponize the word poor, and I said, I'd tell you

614
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 1: why I need to, because it's facts. Having eleven dollars left,

615
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: it's poor, And nigga, you have the nerve to bring

616
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: you and your dusty dick over here and tell me

617
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,240
Speaker 1: niggas would pay to fuck me. This is true, And

618
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: you have Dungeon where niggas literally put my toes in

619
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: their mouth and paid me for that. So it's just like,

620
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 1: why do you think that you're better than me and

621
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: you only have eleven dollars? It's poor, niggas, I'm telling you,

622
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: and then like, on top of that, what he would

623
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 1: do he um, oh yeah. He also tried to get

624
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: on me because he found my Instagram and he was

625
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: like body positivity. I thought that it was like all right,

626
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: but now people are just thinking that's okay to have

627
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: heart attacks, and like, I just feel like you're playing

628
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: a game, like don't get me wrong. Michael's recently said

629
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: that let's let's talk about that. So the horrible decision

630
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: for this week is can I say the word fat?

631
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: I never thought that big old fat dick. I thought

632
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: I thought fat. It was like a bad word for

633
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 1: me to say. I thought you use other verbiage like

634
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: do be see I can't even say do fat. People

635
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: not like the word being called fat, and like, can

636
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 1: you explain just the journey of fat if you've always

637
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: appreciated that word, if you've used other things like yeah,

638
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: I think it depends. Because there was a pivotal moment

639
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: for me in college where they had the um Love

640
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: Your Body Week where I first this was the first

641
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: time I ever saw a woman that was bigger than

642
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: me in her underwear in public. So it was like

643
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 1: a demonstration on campus where everybody made signs and stuff.

644
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: It was a part of like a different organization, like

645
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: different organization on campus. But if it all go out

646
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 1: in the underwear with signs and like basically tell people

647
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: that they look amazing and like that they should love

648
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 1: their bodies and stuff like that, and I was like,

649
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: this is amaze saying. So I went out there and

650
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: I took off my top and like I had my

651
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: brom but I was just like this is cool, like

652
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: and I met a lot of different people that way

653
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: and throughout trying to understand more about that and then

654
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: becoming a like officer in the feminist organization on campus

655
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: and doing a lot of unpacking because that's where it required.

656
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: I became okay with the worry fat because it's what

657
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: I felt physically describe me. And up until that point,

658
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: I would hear it and it would feel literally like

659
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: somebody was like poking me with needles. And that's that's

660
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: not like a because when I feel like I hear

661
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: the word, it's like I don't need words. It's like

662
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: it's used to de mean it she uses to mean.

663
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: But it's weird because when it is used to mean,

664
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: it's used by people that don't think that these people

665
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: think or know that they're fat. So it's like, I'm

666
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: gonna remind you you're a fat bitch. And so that's

667
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 1: why my friend like shirt that's a fat bitch, and

668
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: like you have all these women that are fat wearing

669
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: the shirt that says fat bitch because that's been reclaimed.

670
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, that's that's a fact because I am

671
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: a fat bitch. We're not getting around the same way.

672
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: We're reclaiming horror and all. But it's just like if

673
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,479
Speaker 1: it's used in a way that's meant to demean, then

674
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 1: people can see through it. So I think it depends.

675
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 1: It's on a case by case basis. It's kind of

676
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,879
Speaker 1: like with black people that s where nobody should say nigga,

677
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: and then you have some black people are like, you

678
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 1: shouldn't say that around me, like or you can't say

679
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 1: it around me. It's a case by case. Would I

680
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: go around and call everybody fat if I wasn't fat, No,

681
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: So I'd be like, you might not be okay with that,

682
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: But it's somebody that is fat reclaiming your own word,

683
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: reclaiming that words. It's been a very big step and

684
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 1: being okay with my fatness because honestly, if you're somebody

685
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: that struggles with that word still, that means that you're

686
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: still feeling the negative connotations of it and you might

687
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: not be able to accept the fact that well I did.

688
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: And um we actually on our Patreon episode shout out

689
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:48,560
Speaker 1: to um Naimo. Mindy had VSG by the way, so

690
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 1: I had to gastric sleeve. Um, so I went from

691
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: two thirty pounds, mind you on five ft one, so

692
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: I went from two dty pounds and I very depending

693
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: on my cycles the time of the month, between one

694
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: and one seven ish. Um. And so we have the conversation,

695
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: and I've been referred to as fluffy chubby Nigga specifically

696
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: islandmn Um used to love to just rub all my

697
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: stomach and my rolls and stuff like that, and that

698
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: always made me uncomfortable. Does that make you uncomfortable? No,

699
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: I hated it. I wouldn't know what happened enough. I

700
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 1: think that's weird, But the rest of you is not there.

701
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 1: So because I had one of our friends always says

702
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: she loved it because it makes you feel more present,

703
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: So like you can kind of tell I think it

704
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: might be coming from a point where you're, like I

705
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: feel like I'm being fetishized. That's where So that's the thing.

706
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: If it's like you can always tell when you're being

707
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: fetishized during a sexual weekend when they only focus on

708
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: like certain parts of your body and talking about your

709
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: body in a very fetishy way, like I can, how

710
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: do you mane your size without making I feel like

711
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 1: the kind of body works because I go to me

712
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 1: is body. It's different. It's different from you massaging my

713
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: body or you being a lover who is just like

714
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: I love you any size, all my like hose and

715
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 1: ship there mind you. I've been sucking them for ten years,

716
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 1: six years, seven years, so they've been with me throughout

717
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 1: all of my weight gains and losses, and they're just

718
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: like I'm I love you at either side. But when

719
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: I was at my biggest, it would be niggas that

720
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: we're just laying and they're just going, like, you know,

721
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: squeeze or something. You're not worshiping my body, you're literally grabbing.

722
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: So like you you get what I'm like, not focusing

723
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: just on that particularly that makes sense. Like the guys

724
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: that I had to kick out, like he there's like

725
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: a place in between my tummy and where my food

726
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: is that he I never had anybody like be like

727
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: I like that place and he would kiss it and

728
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that feels really nice kissing it. That's cute. Like,

729
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: but if it's like if they're doing this thing where

730
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 1: they like grab your arms and they grab your thighs,

731
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: your stomach, you're like, hey, what are you doing? And

732
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 1: that's uncomfortable and you someone big, And to be fair,

733
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: I've never had a nigga grab my arms. But we could,

734
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: we could, we could portray as someone who's dealt was

735
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,919
Speaker 1: not only fat phobia. Of course, even with my loss

736
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: of jokes, y'all have listened to brilliant idiots Charlemagne Mouse.

737
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: So many people have come to me with still the

738
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 1: fat jokes, like oh now that I've lost all the weight,

739
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 1: now they can say all the fat jokes to my face.

740
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: The type of thing, and so to to go through that,

741
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 1: but also to have men, I've been like, a nigga

742
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: has paid me, and of course I text them, but

743
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 1: literally because he said, I want to see if I

744
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 1: can just fuck someone your size, if I can last.

745
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: He didn't last, but he gave me money just because

746
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: he was like, I've never sucked anyone in your size,

747
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,479
Speaker 1: and you look like fun. And I think that's weird

748
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 1: because it's weird because it's already they're coming out the

749
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: gay othering you instead of appreciating you, and that's not

750
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: a lot of men like that's how they talk to

751
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: me online. You look like you're fun. Some of the

752
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: first matches I've gotten. Do you suck dick? You like

753
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: you know how to suck dick very well because you

754
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 1: eat because because the very insecure about big girls fucking

755
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: sucking my nigga's dick off. But like everybody, that's because

756
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: that's what they say and it's not they don't think

757
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: it's something because because that's what they're holding onto when

758
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: it comes to being desirable, I can do something for you.

759
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: That's what makes me desirable. And that's not okay because

760
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,879
Speaker 1: that's some of the first ways that were desirability. We're

761
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: not giving desirability. So a lot of like fat women

762
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: not even just that when you talk to them about

763
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 1: how they're being socialized and romantically socialized as to how

764
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: they're supposed to appeal to the other sex basically because

765
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: that's we're not being taught like that. It's okay at

766
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 1: that time, we weren't being taught it's okay to be

767
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: with somebody that's not a man as a woman, and

768
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: so therefore our socialization came in the way of, like,

769
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 1: you have to be able to provide something for everybody

770
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: to have them want to be around you. When it

771
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: comes to like other like the opposite sex and your grade.

772
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 1: You have to be able to give them something. And

773
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,239
Speaker 1: because they don't find your body that desirable, you have

774
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: to be able to use. You have to overcompensate. And

775
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 1: so that's why it's weird because because everybody, like with

776
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,760
Speaker 1: the Jill Scott thing, That's why I was so cringed

777
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: out about it, because it's like everybody came out the woodwork.

778
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: I can suck dick. I could do. It's like yeah,

779
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 1: because you feel like that's the only way to gain

780
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: desirability and your current body. And that's how we were

781
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: taught to gain desirability in our bodies. And it's really

782
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: fucked up because we enjoy sex too, and I would

783
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 1: love to be able to be like somebody it's like, yeah,

784
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: I love sucking, but it's always going to be taken

785
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 1: as like, oh, because you eat, you could eat dick.

786
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: Or because like how I used to get on okay Cupid,

787
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 1: like it is it is it true that big girls

788
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 1: appreciate sex more because they don't get it enough? Which

789
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 1: is that big girls suck dick better because they don't

790
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: have sex a lot nobody else wild. It's wild, but

791
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: it happens. And so that's like what is using most

792
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: of the conversation is all these dumb ass questions about

793
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: fat girl sexuality that they obviously exist for some reason somebody.

794
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 1: It's obviously like a very much consensus around like men

795
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: that want to have sex with fat women but don't

796
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: know how to talk, and they won't open out, they

797
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: won't be open on social media to admit that these

798
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: are the type of women they preferate, Like they'll date

799
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: like and and so like I've dealt with and even

800
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: in my bigger size that will publicly be with Victoria's

801
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: Secret models and go out and claim these small girls

802
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: and be like, oh my god. But so many friends

803
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: that have that, like even the niggers they with would

804
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 1: be like he only he only repost than women, and

805
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 1: like we've been together for like two years, and I'm

806
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: just like that's very strange. That's not what I heard

807
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: that because they would turn it into like, oh, that's

808
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: just my social media, why are you bugging? Especially when

809
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: tumbler was like a really big and easier to reblog

810
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: certain photos and stuff. It's easy to get caught up

811
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 1: in that. But like, also you seeing how your partner

812
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 1: interact in those ways? Why are they reposting people that

813
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: looked the complete opposite of you? But they'll tell you that, no, Like,

814
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 1: it's not that that's interesting. What I find interesting about

815
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: that is how, like, Okay, I worked with someone at

816
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 1: my last job who was maybe almost four hundred pounds, skinny,

817
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,919
Speaker 1: white dude. She dated, and she was never fucking short

818
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,240
Speaker 1: of a date, right, always meeting people, and she was active,

819
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: wasn't like not able to move around, and like would

820
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 1: go to the doctor. And oh, I asked her when

821
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: Mandy got VSG. I went to the hospital that day.

822
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I wanted to ask you, like, um,

823
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 1: what do you know about it? I was like, I'm

824
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 1: on my way to go see my What She's like, well,

825
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,760
Speaker 1: I know that my doctor told me I was healthy

826
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: and if I wanted to get it, I could and

827
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: I chose not to. And she's like, and I sometimes

828
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 1: feel like because I am bigger, people always wonder why

829
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: I'm not getting it, and She's like, and it really

830
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 1: drives me nuts, Like I can go to a health

831
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: professional that tells me I'm okay, and people still feel

832
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: like that's the choice I could make first of all

833
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: your friends lucky, because that's never the conversation and how

834
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 1: it goes to a doctor. I was gonna say, even

835
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 1: when I was growing, I was labeled obese. They go

836
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: by to be my scale, and even though I had

837
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: thighs and hips and to me it was proportionate. I've

838
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: always been told from when I wasn't maybe twelve years old,

839
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: because I'm obese on this b a my scale, that

840
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: I risk high cholesterol, unhealthy sleep out and only was

841
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: for shorter people and a certain reason of the fucking country.

842
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry of the like of the world

843
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 1: and was used to keep track of that populations like

844
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:12,439
Speaker 1: health status is still being used today. I wouldn't even deny.

845
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even go as far to say that honestly,

846
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: not not only be in my because I've gone through

847
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,479
Speaker 1: this whole procedure of losing weight and have two friends

848
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: that have done vs. Both three friends who have done VSG,

849
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: one who did VSG, and the gastric the gastric bypass.

850
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: I know that as someone who's been considered obese for

851
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: pretty much majority of my life, there's no way at

852
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 1: four pounds a doctor is saying, oh, well, you're healthy,

853
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: you don't really need it because they're they're a doctor,

854
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 1: which I still think is weird. When they do speak

855
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: to fact, they're not thinking of like, oh, you're fine,

856
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,680
Speaker 1: They're thinking of like preventive measure for whatever, like insurance, whatever,

857
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: the fun So like they're usually more and like you

858
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 1: can come in there and not even be seeking anything

859
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: that's weight related. Like when I went to a doctor

860
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: I want to say last summer and I was like, oh,

861
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: it's like a you know, public doctors like through the

862
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: community or whatever. I went in there um for like

863
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: a blood test because I needed to get tested and stuff,

864
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: and this woman literally was like, Okay, well obviously we

865
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: need to sign you up for a kind of colle

866
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 1: just visit and then a nutritionist visit, and I was like,

867
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: I'm so serious. I never went back. I still get

868
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:20,800
Speaker 1: emails and phone calls from then to this day. My

869
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 1: first E N T tubes put into my ears because

870
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: I have very bad sinuses. I talked about it on

871
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: the show. So I went in there for my tube.

872
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 1: Both my ears got infected, so they had to drain

873
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: it and then put the tubes. And mind you, he's

874
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: an e n T. He goes to ask me if

875
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: I have snoring problems, and I'm like, I was gonna say,

876
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: you have sleep apnea because you're fast. So but literally

877
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 1: literally a lot of people that are not fat sleep, right,

878
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 1: It doesn't right, loss can help you said, um, well

879
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: the people around me, Yeah, I have, but I mean

880
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: I was able to sleep. The sleep apnea is that

881
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 1: you can have shortness of breath. So it's not even

882
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,400
Speaker 1: really the snoring, but it's more so that when you're sleeping,

883
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,800
Speaker 1: if you're big, if you have if you're large in size,

884
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: that while you're sleeping, you could miss the breath and

885
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: you could probably die. Like you here's the interesting thing, right,

886
00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: because the sleep happening a thing if it was true,

887
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: or the snoring, and you stopped when you got your VS.

888
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: You mentioned that how do you like doctors in essence?

889
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: Figure out if they can help you, and how do

890
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: you want them to speak to you? I would ask,

891
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: I don't know because the nutrition this thing I think

892
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: is too far. But to sleep on anything, I think

893
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,439
Speaker 1: sleep at the thing that went even that she didn't

894
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 1: even make the appointment for the Ganda colleges, but she

895
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: made sure to make that published nutrition. She's like, oh,

896
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 1: I can't really do anything that's colleges because she's not

897
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: here today because it was like after a certain time,

898
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: like oh, but the nutritionists is so you may you

899
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: went our way to make the doctor's appointment for the nutritionists.

900
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: It is well because like I'm looking at you and

901
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 1: I'm like, and here's another thing that's like I really

902
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 1: want to talk about. It's like, oh, how could they

903
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: say that she's not that big? Because what is that big?

904
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: And who defines that? Because in my opinion, I've been

905
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: seeing fat phobia and I'm like, I think it's I

906
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: think it's real. But then I also I'm confused because

907
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 1: I'm like I saw some girl like you ain't that

908
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 1: big to the girl that was big, and I just

909
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: think it's weird. I just think it's weird because there's

910
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: this It's what a lot of like fat women currently

911
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: deal with in our community of like, well, I'm not

912
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: that big or I'm not that far gone or I

913
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 1: haven't let myself go that back. So there's some redeeable qualities. Yeah,

914
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: And so when it's like so when we kind of

915
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: wrap up the conversations and that it's not about like, oh,

916
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: that being fat doesn't come with health issues because everybody

917
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,800
Speaker 1: that says and claims that and just that's the blankets

918
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: statement and leave it alone. I feel like there's some

919
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,279
Speaker 1: element of truth to it. I'm not stupid, But to

920
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 1: make that the cornerstone of whether or not I deserve

921
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: respect as a human being is the issue. So if

922
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you look like you have diabetes, so

923
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 1: that makes me less of a person. I think that

924
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: I have diabetes, Why do I have to like bring

925
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 1: a clean bill of health to be told whether or

926
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,240
Speaker 1: not I'm able to be treated like a person, Especially

927
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 1: when it comes to like people asking about like your

928
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: medical records and like as a fat person, feeling like

929
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: you have to offer up that kind of information to

930
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 1: kind of Okay, she's clear, she doesn't she doesn't have hypertention. Guys,

931
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: like we can be nice right now, Like that's weird,

932
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 1: Like why are we all asking people that around the board,

933
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: Because we don't, and I don't like, I don't know,

934
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: I don't even ask people that are sick, like, oh,

935
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: when's the last time did it? Because that's not how

936
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 1: we're e gauging how to respect other people. So I

937
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: think that's really interesting, especially when it comes to dealing

938
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: with health and people talking about health, that most of

939
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: the time that's where they're deriving whether or not they

940
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: respect somebody from a health conscious point of view. But

941
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 1: you're not doing that two smaller people that might have

942
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 1: chronic illnesses, that might have like diseases that they're dealing

943
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: with that they might even be born with or you know,

944
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: acquired later in life that people might think they are

945
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: typically are for larger bodies. So it's just outside of

946
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 1: health though, how you're talking about respect, it's also the value.

947
00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: When I when I was bigger, um, I felt like

948
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 1: people thought I should be happy that anybody wanted to

949
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:07,320
Speaker 1: have sex with Talke. And that's how I felt in

950
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: dating and but even you you you received that from

951
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 1: women and men because I remember I was I was

952
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 1: dating this this football player, um, and one of the

953
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 1: girls knew when I got you know, knew that I

954
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 1: was with him. In Indiana, da da da, And he

955
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,320
Speaker 1: was like, it's so funny to me how bothered she

956
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,320
Speaker 1: is that I deal with you and so mad. So

957
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,359
Speaker 1: she hopped in my d m uh got her body

958
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: done girl from Miami um and she had like you know,

959
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: the small ways big as her whole body was done

960
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: and she and he he was like, yo, she's known

961
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 1: other girls. I fun but now I don't know why

962
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 1: it's you, but you bother her so much. So she

963
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 1: slid in my d m s and literally trashed me

964
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,839
Speaker 1: because of my size, my weight, and like, I don't

965
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: know why he would want you at he's sucking me

966
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,959
Speaker 1: and all of this. And so even as women would

967
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 1: come to me and be like how dare you fuck

968
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: her when you're fucking me? And I looked like this,

969
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,959
Speaker 1: so you get you get it from the other women

970
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 1: and the men, because those are the ones that like

971
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: to perpetuate that, and then like it doesn't exist when

972
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 1: you say something about it, like what are you talking about?

973
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:13,320
Speaker 1: Fat phobia doesn't event obviously in my whole life, but

974
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: definitely terrible women women do. They do it all the

975
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: time because they're like because that's it's different, especially like

976
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,879
Speaker 1: which is sad because we're getting to be we're getting

977
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 1: but like the fact that like that is still something

978
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 1: that women internalize as I'm not as bad as this person,

979
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 1: and there's something missing from me because this person that

980
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: I find desirable is not is also dealing with this

981
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,839
Speaker 1: other person that I find undesirable. I have a question

982
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: right when we're on this topic. I was googling fat

983
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: phobia and like hot takes on it, and I want

984
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: to know this one. And I've seen someone say it

985
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:50,240
Speaker 1: to Mandy actually, and I don't know if you responded

986
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: or not, but it was in our comments on her

987
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 1: VSG episode. Someone said, um uh no, it was a

988
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: big chick that wrote a blog saying, No, I'm not

989
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: fat phobic because I'm fat and want to lose weight.

990
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 1: Can we talk about that in confidence and what your

991
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 1: opinion is? Seriously, that is something that people throw in

992
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: your face when you lose weight a confident person. No,

993
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: it's internalized because you can still be fat phobic and

994
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: be a fat person. That's how you could be anti black,

995
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: be black person when you want to separate yourself as

996
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 1: far as possible from this community that you are very

997
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: clearly a part of because of negativity that you feel

998
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 1: is attached to them living the way that they exist.

999
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 1: So and I deal with that a lot. That's why

1000
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: I've had to actually start un following people that start

1001
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: that because I'm not against intentional weight loss. I think

1002
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 1: that conversation needs to be more nuanced than it is.

1003
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: But if we were not against it, I'm not against it,

1004
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 1: But I also think that if the right conversation surrounding

1005
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: fat phobic we're happening before this super surprise intentional like

1006
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 1: weight loss, it wouldn't be this much of an issue.

1007
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:56,360
Speaker 1: Because you have a lot of influencers that make their platforms,

1008
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 1: that make all their profit off of our community and

1009
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 1: never want to bring up the existence of fatphobia. They

1010
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: just talk about, Oh, I have this new dress from

1011
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 1: the new Anthropology line because now their size inclusive, and

1012
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: it's really cool when it's the ugliest dress I've ever seen.

1013
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: But then they'll turn around and come back six months

1014
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 1: later and they've had a surgery to make themselves smaller,

1015
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,399
Speaker 1: and we're just not supposed to address it. You've made

1016
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 1: all your money off of this community by telling us

1017
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 1: how we should feel and how things are going for you.

1018
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 1: But see that's the conversation why I'm interested. It's like

1019
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: just okay, I'll just talk about why it is and

1020
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: then you'd be okay. So like a VSG. That's because

1021
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 1: to me, I feel like it's very unfair to me. Um.

1022
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: I did say there was maybe a false pretense of confidence,

1023
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: fully because what people were saying to me, as far

1024
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 1: as the woman in my d M, as far as

1025
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: the men wanting to only have sex with me, because

1026
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:50,279
Speaker 1: I was certainly yeah, but don't feel like, you know,

1027
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 1: with it no more, and I didn't like. But also,

1028
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: living in New York, it's the wintertime, boots don't go

1029
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: up my cats, I'm not fitting jeans, jackets, and layers

1030
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: are not closing because of my way. And so even

1031
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 1: though I have this confidence because I am who I

1032
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 1: am and I'm still bagging nigga, I'm still doing this.

1033
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 1: So how weight loss, how she's doing it right now?

1034
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: All right? But you said that girl that posted it

1035
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: and then got a surgery, you didn't like that. But

1036
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: then because she came out of nowhere and just expected

1037
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 1: us to just take that and not have any kind

1038
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: of conversation surrounding it. But we gotta sit here and

1039
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,279
Speaker 1: talk about all the different fashion Noble Hall she's doing

1040
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 1: with the plus size like lingerie, and we all know

1041
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 1: what that means. Everything is more nuanced than a lot

1042
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: of people in the plus size influencer, and she want

1043
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 1: to act like it is. It's always caused for a

1044
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 1: conversation because we're not allowed to have those comps. I've

1045
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 1: never had a conversation with another fat girl that has

1046
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 1: been as honest as the ones that I'm having now,

1047
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: because it's always like, well, maybe it's just you know,

1048
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 1: I just have to go and run around the track

1049
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 1: and maybe things will change, but no one's discussing how

1050
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 1: things are supposed to change. I just slim fast. I

1051
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: tried to change my diet. What's the first time you

1052
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: ever put on a diet or was on a diet?

1053
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god. In middle school, I was gonna say,

1054
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: when my mom would take me and my my breast

1055
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 1: started filling out quicker than they should have. I had hips,

1056
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: I had thighs, So these conversations when I went to

1057
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 1: the doctor my sister was smaller, I was being told

1058
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: I was obese at a very early age. And then

1059
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 1: of course when I got to adulthood, just moving to

1060
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,879
Speaker 1: New York, going into college. Um that freshman fifteen turned

1061
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 1: into over the four years, I gained ten pounds a year.

1062
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: I gained fifty pounds over four to five years, and

1063
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 1: to reach two hundred and thirty pounds at my peak

1064
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 1: at five ft one. And that's why even though even

1065
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,720
Speaker 1: though people are saying, girl, you're not a BBW anymore.

1066
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: I've posted my before and after picks. I've been very

1067
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,280
Speaker 1: open about the procedure, what it's caused, as far as complications. Afterwards,

1068
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 1: I talked about my acid reflux now that I have

1069
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: and it's super bad now and the things that I've

1070
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: had to change what I'm eating. And so, yes, this

1071
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:48,840
Speaker 1: girl did this weight loss and now she's like flawing

1072
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: around and Ladree like, I'm smaller now, so let me

1073
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,000
Speaker 1: get into But you're not owning up to the thing

1074
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: is you can be somebody that isn't a larger body,

1075
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: that is confident, and you might either derive your confidence

1076
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,239
Speaker 1: from some where else or you might feel good in

1077
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 1: your body at that time, but at some point it

1078
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're not dealing with the very negative

1079
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: effects of fat phobia. And if and if you're like

1080
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: very upfront and honest with your followers, which I think

1081
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 1: they still owe to us because they're the ones that

1082
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: people are actually listening to and they have the reach.

1083
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,360
Speaker 1: But I just think it's unfair. And the reason I

1084
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: have brought that up is because I always found it

1085
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 1: unfair to say that someone can't love anybody they're in,

1086
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: which is really why I liked with Lizzo said to

1087
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: Charlotte Mane when he was like, you wouldn't look at

1088
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,000
Speaker 1: the kids, she was like, oh, I would look good regardless,

1089
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 1: which I didn't really. I didn't really like that that

1090
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: interview because he was so focused on the fact that

1091
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 1: she was not only just that, but like that she

1092
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 1: had lost a significant amount of weight. She was homeless,

1093
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 1: So why are you like focused on the weight that

1094
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: she lost. Yeah, she like during that she used to

1095
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,800
Speaker 1: be homeless, and like she would like go to the

1096
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 1: like Trony for our fitness and shower in there, and

1097
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: like she literally lost a lot of weight because she

1098
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 1: was homeless and he wasn't. She couldn't afford food. Yeah,

1099
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 1: And he was stuck on how she looked when she

1100
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 1: lost the weight, and I'm just like, you're asking her

1101
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: about how much weight she lost and what she looked

1102
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: like and trying to compare back to how she looks

1103
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 1: now she was fucking homeless? Are you kidding? So she's like,

1104
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 1: he's more focused on the weight loss and the fact

1105
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: that she had no food to eat she was homeless.

1106
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,120
Speaker 1: I watched an entire episode because I was like, okay, alright,

1107
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: because all my friends like did you see it? Did

1108
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,200
Speaker 1: you see us? Like na, So I watched it. I

1109
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:20,319
Speaker 1: honestly don't think they focused enough on her music. They

1110
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: focused a lot on her body. But then what I've

1111
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 1: really found disrespectful was him focusing on her weight loss

1112
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: during her homeless I think people are obsessed with focusing

1113
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: on her body because, well, one thing I want to

1114
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 1: talk about that I know you're gonna disagree with, but

1115
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about like fat phobia, trolling one

1116
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:41,439
Speaker 1: if it's real, how it opened everyone's eyes with Lizzos ship,

1117
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,839
Speaker 1: and I'm weird. I'm still like it took that long

1118
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,359
Speaker 1: to like show everybody something to really be happening, right,

1119
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: and it's been happening. I mean, I think that it

1120
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: was more like mainstream because it was so jarring. But

1121
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 1: here's my main question for you, because I was teetering

1122
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: back and forth a lot on this one. I did

1123
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 1: like the outfit, It's okay not to like the Alpha

1124
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: was hideous too. I started getting confused in my head

1125
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: because I didn't like people's reactions, and then I was like, no,

1126
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 1: I'm team Lizzo Fuckett. But then I was like, yo,

1127
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 1: am I really serious because I didn't like the outfit.

1128
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:18,840
Speaker 1: It's like, like Crystal said, it's okay to be in

1129
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 1: both camps at the same time, because I honestly think

1130
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: that was a terrible outfit. I'm not gonna lie. I

1131
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: have T shirt dresses, so when I saw the first photo,

1132
00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, she's in the T shirt dresses and

1133
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 1: so like, I honestly feel like the outfit is terrible,

1134
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: but it is the reaction to it is very much

1135
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 1: like something that needed to be calling the question whether

1136
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 1: or not her like not the actual questions or like

1137
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 1: not the actual outfits appropriateness as a whole, because because

1138
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 1: I feel like the kids too, because what they watched

1139
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,839
Speaker 1: poor on their phones, same same thing a few weeks,

1140
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 1: the same thing then. But then after this, she also

1141
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: talked with her panties out in Chick fil A, like

1142
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 1: I did not see that. It's just it's just a

1143
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:11,279
Speaker 1: lot so to me, so um so. Jerome Trammel was

1144
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: our opener host to our show in Atlanta, and he

1145
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 1: brought up the post of fat phobia. I want to

1146
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 1: ask you because this is me and him went back

1147
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: and forth a little bit on it, and even when

1148
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: we had our guests and we talked about Lozzo a

1149
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: few weeks ago, Um, this is do you know what

1150
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: she's talking about? He's slim. So my question to you,

1151
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 1: um is, so to me, when people bring up these

1152
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: fat phobia problems that people are portraying to meet, I

1153
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: don't like someone to point out that it's fat phobic.

1154
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: Mind you, we brought up she could be asking for attention.

1155
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: The outfit is terrible. There's all these things. And so

1156
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:51,440
Speaker 1: let me ask your opinion on people who decided to

1157
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 1: bring up fat phobia who have never experienced fatphobia. Do

1158
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 1: you find it okay for them to kind of pledge Oh,

1159
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: y'all are all fat phobic? It only because she's fat. No,

1160
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,200
Speaker 1: because I think it's hollow. And if you're not going

1161
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,000
Speaker 1: to do the work to actually explain to people why

1162
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: it's platphobic in terms of like the semantics and the

1163
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: language used around what was happening, as opposed to just

1164
00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 1: jumping on this bandwagon that you think is pally correct.

1165
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 1: And that's where that's where the hollow that's where the

1166
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: hollowness is like okay, but like and that's why it

1167
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 1: turns other people off when you're trying to discuss what

1168
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: fat phobia is because like, like I said, it's possible

1169
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 1: to think that ALFA was terrible because it was, but

1170
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 1: also when you see the criticism surrounding the outfit, none

1171
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: of it really makes Nobody wants to say yeah, but

1172
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 1: like it just nobody wants to see that it was

1173
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 1: like all of these things people are like literally cherry

1174
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 1: picking out of like what is appropriate to be shown.

1175
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 1: They were talking about the seats being dirty, and they

1176
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 1: were talking about the children, and I'm like, okay, but

1177
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 1: like I'm not even trying to be that person. Your

1178
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: children see a lot worse on a daily basis, so therefore,

1179
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 1: a big black woman's ass is not going to corrupt

1180
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 1: your children. The children thing I actually got really annoyed

1181
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: with because the cheerleaders, which everybody, everybody's critiquing it. It's

1182
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: like literally the cheerleaders are right, there's seat thing. But

1183
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 1: I think that the seat thing was also like a

1184
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:06,800
Speaker 1: random thing to pull out. It was random because everybody

1185
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 1: wanted to have something to say that wasn't fat over it,

1186
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: or they wanted to make it seem like it wasn't

1187
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 1: fact right, So that situation I didn't I didn't read

1188
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 1: what he said. Um, so I can't really comment on

1189
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 1: it too much, but I am curious to know how

1190
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 1: do people and this I guess could go in a

1191
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: box for white people with their Black Lives Matter ship,

1192
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: which gets super annoying sometimes. How does skinny people then

1193
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 1: become allies and especially with intersexual feminism, not celebrate bigger

1194
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: women's bodies and then be called like you know, just

1195
00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:44,320
Speaker 1: using your verbon hollow like he's not a woman, right,

1196
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 1: he's an LGBTQ advocate, So it's like, okay, I'm all

1197
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: four women, I'm all for people. How do you keep

1198
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 1: in that box and and and be with your activism

1199
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 1: and support people but then not be called like it

1200
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 1: can't be opportunistic? Why are you wait till now to

1201
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 1: say something? She can do with fatphobia since her career started.

1202
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 1: It wasn't just this this might have been like this

1203
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 1: might have been like the tipping point, but this is not.

1204
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: So you feel that that's I think a good point

1205
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: to see. So like using that as the catalysts can't

1206
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: be performative, and I feel like a lot of people

1207
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: that we're like, Na, this is fat phobic, without willing

1208
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: to offer a follow up in terms of what fat

1209
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 1: phobia is and show examples of how she's been dealing

1210
00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 1: with this. What is it? And fat phobia is a

1211
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: very negative set of attitudes, behaviors, and societal like beliefs

1212
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 1: about somebody that lives in a larger body that's not

1213
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 1: seen as socially acceptable. And that literally is a systemic

1214
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:38,680
Speaker 1: issue to the point where it affects uh, it affects insurance,

1215
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 1: health insurance, being able to have your children with you,

1216
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 1: It affects how you shop, It affects your employment and

1217
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 1: effect get paid. It affects everything, And people don't want

1218
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 1: to acknowledge that because it's still seen as something that

1219
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 1: you can change, because it's not like being born with

1220
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 1: a leg or not being born, you know, with like

1221
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: a skin disease or something like. It's something that they're like, well,

1222
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: you should have or control over this, and it's also

1223
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: seen as a moral issue because with the Ten Commandments

1224
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: and people talking about how gluttony is one of that's

1225
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 1: directly tied to morality and over feeding yourself, that the

1226
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 1: result of a larger body is over training when they

1227
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 1: don't think about the fact that a lot of people

1228
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: are born. I've been fat since I was a child.

1229
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 1: This is not something that just happened. When I went

1230
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 1: through a time. That was a conversation I had this

1231
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 1: morning with the dude. I was stating right like, um,

1232
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:31,960
Speaker 1: I was writing out things I wanted to talk about

1233
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 1: with you, and I was like, you know, I know

1234
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,040
Speaker 1: a lot of girls online that are bigger than me.

1235
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,920
Speaker 1: When I would post myself and lingerie and what my

1236
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 1: stomach wasn't all the late flat and I would talk

1237
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: about a fuba, they would get angry with me. Girls

1238
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:45,920
Speaker 1: around my side and be like, oh yeah, I got

1239
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:49,080
Speaker 1: a muffin top today. It fluctuates daa. But girls that

1240
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:51,600
Speaker 1: were significantly bigger than me, we're not working with me

1241
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: for it. I don't preach positivity because it's not my lane.

1242
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 1: I don't need to um and it's just not something

1243
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 1: I connect with as much as I connect with feminism. However,

1244
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:05,000
Speaker 1: I am interested in knowing how you feel when, when

1245
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: and if a girl my size would say something like that,

1246
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: and if you feel like we can because that conversation

1247
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:13,120
Speaker 1: about this conversation on the podcast and we we went

1248
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: back and forth. I told her, I told you, I

1249
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 1: thought that I agreed with you. Yeah, I didn't. I

1250
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,720
Speaker 1: didn't really care first someone her size to even be

1251
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 1: doing the food or body positivity type don't do positivity

1252
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 1: type post. But I love my body. Well, first of all,

1253
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: I'm not body positive. I don't like body positively. At

1254
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 1: the current state it is right now, I think it's

1255
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: very performative. The people that needed the least are the

1256
01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 1: people that benefit from the most. And I honestly feel

1257
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: at this point it is now a marketing point and

1258
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 1: we're going to move on to something else chasing. But

1259
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 1: there's another thing cloud chasing for ad companies that are however,

1260
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 1: there's an thing with that though. Bro, when I'm on

1261
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 1: the subway and now I see big girls in lingerie,

1262
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 1: are they cloud chasing me? Or and now we're putting

1263
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 1: it in everybody says it isn't better? Is it an

1264
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:02,560
Speaker 1: is it an ad of a company? That's already made

1265
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: sizes for us or because but that's the thing where

1266
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, you gotta take it, like I like

1267
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: seeing it. And I also understand how someone who can

1268
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 1: be bigger can say it's cloud chasy or it's bullshit,

1269
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: but so now they're not supposed to well I can

1270
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,920
Speaker 1: I can get that from Like when the answering the

1271
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: first question you ask, I think that when smaller women

1272
01:02:25,600 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: or like straight sized women as they're usually called, are

1273
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 1: able to talk about their body in a way that

1274
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: um kind of talks about what they feel are flaws

1275
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:37,600
Speaker 1: or what they're uncomfortable with on their body, the language

1276
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 1: that they're using is something that they already um attribute

1277
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 1: as negative that somebody else is already living with. So

1278
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 1: like if you're like, oh I have a fopa, Oh

1279
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 1: I have muffin top, Oh I have roles, Oh I

1280
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 1: feel fat, it's just like I don't know if you'll

1281
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 1: talked about it in a way of like there's a

1282
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,920
Speaker 1: difference between feeling fat and being fat, and you're already

1283
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: attributing negative word because you already know how fat people

1284
01:02:57,480 --> 01:02:59,919
Speaker 1: are treating. I really like that feeling fat and being

1285
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:05,440
Speaker 1: fat because because now that's what I find interesting. I

1286
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 1: want to say one more time, I've never ever I

1287
01:03:08,160 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 1: do not do body positivity posts because that's not my

1288
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: either don't like but you see it's not on there.

1289
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: But I definitely always talk about FOPA because I have

1290
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:22,919
Speaker 1: a really big fluctuating into my weight and oh, I've

1291
01:03:23,040 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 1: noticed that I've felt uncomfortable and which is why I

1292
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 1: wanted to take ownership of it. When the girls are

1293
01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 1: talking about flaws that are straight sized women, like you said,

1294
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: do you feel like that is ownership of it or

1295
01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 1: it's them brushing off criticism of what could be because

1296
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,479
Speaker 1: I don't think it's ownership. I think it literally is them,

1297
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 1: like if you want to, I think it's a because

1298
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't believe in absolutism. I think it's like a

1299
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 1: whole spectrum of like how they feel fatness affects them,

1300
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 1: because like I tell people, fat phobia affects everybody. They

1301
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 1: are not fat or terrified and being fat. There are

1302
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 1: studies showing that people rather be blind than fat, and

1303
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 1: would rather have other terrible things happen to them physically

1304
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:09,520
Speaker 1: to be fat. Because all the people want to deny

1305
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 1: fat phobia, they know what fat phobia is they know

1306
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 1: how fat people are treated. They know how fat people

1307
01:04:14,160 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: mentally systematically. So so that's why when I was like,

1308
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 1: it's not fair the worst, they're the worst because it's

1309
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: perfectly set up to not have fat people there, especially

1310
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 1: in New York. When I moved here and I would

1311
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:27,840
Speaker 1: make funs. I look at slim ask restaurants, there's like

1312
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 1: four chairs in there and it's like this small, most

1313
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 1: like table. It is set up in a way to

1314
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:36,560
Speaker 1: where fat people are not allowed to participate. Come to society,

1315
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:38,480
Speaker 1: and if they have a problem with it, they need

1316
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 1: to go lose weight so that they can conform to

1317
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:43,080
Speaker 1: what society thinks it's acceptable enough to treat them with

1318
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 1: respect is human beings. And when you have somebody that

1319
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 1: already gets that respect just by just off of the

1320
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 1: strength of then existing in a non fat body, attributing

1321
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: all of these negative factors to problem areas they feel

1322
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 1: are issues on their body because you're not being treated

1323
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:01,479
Speaker 1: like us in a person, because you have a food,

1324
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: not being treated like you can't raise your own children

1325
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 1: because you have a muff. You can do things like

1326
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 1: I'll remember, seven months before my surgery, I went with

1327
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,000
Speaker 1: my coworkers. This is when I was working at an

1328
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 1: investment bank and me and all of the co workers

1329
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,160
Speaker 1: that were on my level, we went to six Flags.

1330
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: Do you know do you know one of the rides

1331
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 1: the thing it wouldn't close. Do you get do you know?

1332
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 1: Do you know? That's when that's when, honestly, a lot

1333
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 1: of people are like, like, you know, but you were shapely,

1334
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 1: you weren't that big. I've been on planes where I

1335
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:34,480
Speaker 1: got in the emergency seat and the bar didn't lift up,

1336
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:37,280
Speaker 1: and so I felt squashed on an airplane seat. So

1337
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,360
Speaker 1: when I went to six Flags and the thing wentn't closed,

1338
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 1: and he's literally trying between my you're not ride this ride.

1339
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 1: I cannot ride this ride with my coworkers because of

1340
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 1: my size. So that's like my problem. When I see

1341
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 1: the slim people talking about, you know, their size, their

1342
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 1: food with their arms there, Oh my god, on this,

1343
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 1: I'm not That's where like it didn't it internalizes with me,

1344
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: like you have no fucking idea. Yes you may not

1345
01:06:04,040 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: like your pupa, but there's been things that I have

1346
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,120
Speaker 1: not been able to physically do. Even when I went

1347
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 1: to Dubai, a little African flew me to Dubai. We

1348
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:15,800
Speaker 1: went to the NASCAR Ferrari. There's a Ferrari World out

1349
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 1: in Abu Dhabi. We went there. One of the riots,

1350
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,480
Speaker 1: it wouldn't close over my hips and thighs and we

1351
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: literally had to get up and I was in tears.

1352
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:25,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm ready to go. But in my size,

1353
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 1: there have been things that I was not physically able

1354
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:30,560
Speaker 1: to do. I joke about not writing Dick because it's

1355
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: a lie. I'd had a breath, yeah, all that. But

1356
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:34,480
Speaker 1: when I was bigger, there were literally things that I

1357
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,720
Speaker 1: could not physically do that happened around people and they

1358
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 1: saw that because of my size, I was affected. So

1359
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: in talking about body positivity and people who are smaller

1360
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 1: and people who I believe like cloud chase off of

1361
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:49,760
Speaker 1: this body positivity movement, when it comes to people who

1362
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,840
Speaker 1: are slim and who have never been a victim of

1363
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 1: fat phobia, I do have problems with people trying to

1364
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: bring the conversation of fat phobia when that's something they've

1365
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 1: never ever had to experienced a series of isolated incidences,

1366
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: And I feel like, because there's still, for lack of

1367
01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: a better phrase, there's still not enough room to have

1368
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 1: conversations about fat phobia. I really do think that if

1369
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 1: if finism wants to continue progressing and be intersexual, especially

1370
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 1: since we go into this next wave, we're going to

1371
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:23,960
Speaker 1: have to address fat phobia. We're already getting to a

1372
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 1: point where we're being forced with Sesta Foster to discuss

1373
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:31,640
Speaker 1: horophobia and like decriminalizing sex work because we had to

1374
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:33,840
Speaker 1: actually throw in people's spaces. There had to be put

1375
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:36,320
Speaker 1: something put in place to have everybody pay attention, which

1376
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: they didn't, And now everybody trying to ax surprise that

1377
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,600
Speaker 1: Instagram and dating apps and all these other websites are

1378
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 1: now blocking them for content and like censoring stuff. Everybody's

1379
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: trying to act surprise, like Wow, maybe if you would

1380
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,360
Speaker 1: listen to all the sex workers that were talking about

1381
01:07:48,560 --> 01:07:50,560
Speaker 1: what Sessa Foster is going to do instead of actually

1382
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:52,920
Speaker 1: helping the people they think they're going to help, we

1383
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 1: wouldn't be in a situation. But I think it's going

1384
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 1: to get to a point where they're going to have

1385
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,040
Speaker 1: to listen because it doesn't just affect whether or not

1386
01:07:59,120 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 1: I'm buying close somewhere, which fun facts like three places

1387
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: in New York I could buy closed places, But it's

1388
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 1: also yeah, but it's also affecting it on a personal level,

1389
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:10,800
Speaker 1: and like what I talk about with my pages that

1390
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: talked it affects me on a sexual level too, because

1391
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:17,120
Speaker 1: I'm expected to not even know what sexuality is in

1392
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,160
Speaker 1: a larger body, and I'm, like she said, I'm only

1393
01:08:19,200 --> 01:08:21,680
Speaker 1: supposed to like take what i can get, be appreciative

1394
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 1: of whatever dick's coming back, be fetishized, or like shut

1395
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:27,360
Speaker 1: the funk up about it. And everybody's response when you

1396
01:08:27,439 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 1: bring up fat phobia is either their discomfort, their body

1397
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 1: issues they want to share with you not in a

1398
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,400
Speaker 1: fat body, but also the fact that if you want

1399
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 1: to be treated better, you have to lose a significant

1400
01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 1: amount of weight to be even treated as a human,

1401
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,040
Speaker 1: which I still think it's gross because why can't I'll

1402
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,240
Speaker 1: be treated as a human while I'm taking dick, Like

1403
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:46,599
Speaker 1: so you're you're basically saying that you're gonna put your

1404
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 1: dick in anything. But I'm not a person, And during

1405
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:52,479
Speaker 1: that situation, the lead up to, during, and after, I

1406
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,320
Speaker 1: don't have to be treated as a person or expect

1407
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 1: to be treated as a person because as a fat person,

1408
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:59,240
Speaker 1: I don't deserve humanity. And that's what it is. That's

1409
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 1: like at the very core of it. And that's why

1410
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:04,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to discuss it more in terms of sexuality,

1411
01:09:04,160 --> 01:09:05,760
Speaker 1: because like that leads to a lot of like that

1412
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:08,000
Speaker 1: that is a part of rape culture, and people don't

1413
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 1: understand how like being socialized to be used as an

1414
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:15,360
Speaker 1: instrument just to be seen as like desirable happens a

1415
01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:16,800
Speaker 1: lot with a lot of fact when whether or not

1416
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:18,800
Speaker 1: you're in charge of her sexuality, whether or not you're

1417
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,920
Speaker 1: more like assertive with it, there has been a like instance,

1418
01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 1: like an instance or ongoing situation where you feel like

1419
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:26,439
Speaker 1: this is the only thing that I can provide to

1420
01:09:26,479 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 1: this person to keep them around because they do not

1421
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:30,280
Speaker 1: see me as a person. That's where I really wanted

1422
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:32,160
Speaker 1: you to come because I feel like after watching a

1423
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:34,120
Speaker 1: lot of your stories and stuff like that, and even

1424
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:39,240
Speaker 1: someone that doesn't experience it, like just wanting just knowing

1425
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:41,960
Speaker 1: our listeners seeing what they look like, I know I

1426
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 1: need it like a little bit, like do it. It's

1427
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:48,799
Speaker 1: not about seeing it, it's about recognizing that you benefit

1428
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:51,560
Speaker 1: from it. So like ask somebody that's not in a

1429
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:56,559
Speaker 1: fat body, you're like already benefiting from fat phobia because

1430
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 1: you're being being treated better out of spite of fatphobia,

1431
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 1: because you're not in a fat body, so therefore you're

1432
01:10:01,439 --> 01:10:04,280
Speaker 1: not you're not existing in a way that is so

1433
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 1: like seen as a failure at moral failure, like an

1434
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:11,599
Speaker 1: employment failure, social failure. So you're being seen as somebody

1435
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:13,600
Speaker 1: that is human. And even though it might I'm not

1436
01:10:13,640 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 1: saying nothing bad happens to you because you're not fat,

1437
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:17,800
Speaker 1: but it's just like the way that you're being treated

1438
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:20,679
Speaker 1: an approached by people, talk to you, by people, treated

1439
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:24,320
Speaker 1: by your partners. Oh, I know and acknowledge that. I mean, listen,

1440
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,760
Speaker 1: I don't deal with fat phobia too often or have

1441
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:30,160
Speaker 1: too many conversations about it, but I know that around you.

1442
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,280
Speaker 1: I knew that it was necessary because of one people

1443
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 1: around me, to our listeners, and three the fact that

1444
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,120
Speaker 1: if I am a feminist and is and this is true,

1445
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:43,120
Speaker 1: I have to consider all women and what they look like. Yeah,

1446
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:44,679
Speaker 1: and you have to consider all the ways in which

1447
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,519
Speaker 1: you benefit from something that purely exists, because people do

1448
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,360
Speaker 1: not think that people that live in larger bodies are human.

1449
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:53,280
Speaker 1: And I felt like this was necessary to just to

1450
01:10:53,439 --> 01:10:56,479
Speaker 1: know that, like we all might treat people that are

1451
01:10:56,560 --> 01:10:58,960
Speaker 1: bigger than us away and not even see it. And

1452
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:02,599
Speaker 1: I really wanted that I opening perspective from someone else.

1453
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, Mandy has been through weight loss,

1454
01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:07,479
Speaker 1: I mean journey and done so many episodes on it,

1455
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 1: and it always feels like it's never enough of a

1456
01:11:10,479 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 1: combo because at the end of the day, I go

1457
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 1: through instances all the time where I'm seeing it happened,

1458
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,640
Speaker 1: whether Niggas is talking about big Girls, whether it's on

1459
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:23,000
Speaker 1: online every day, just the fucking Lizzo wave, like it's

1460
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,160
Speaker 1: all of the fucking time, and it's like, especially after

1461
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,760
Speaker 1: that ship, I was like, I just want one more

1462
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:32,200
Speaker 1: where people can actually know and understand how it feels

1463
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,479
Speaker 1: on the other side because I don't know, right. And

1464
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:37,599
Speaker 1: like I said, when I say food and things like that, um,

1465
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:40,640
Speaker 1: it's not a guilt trip to make someone feel bad

1466
01:11:40,720 --> 01:11:43,240
Speaker 1: for me because I don't need it. I'm just saying

1467
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:45,160
Speaker 1: I love and like my body the way it is.

1468
01:11:45,240 --> 01:11:47,680
Speaker 1: But also when you are talking about your body, if

1469
01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:49,920
Speaker 1: you're not in a fat body, as a feminist, you

1470
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,360
Speaker 1: have to think about whether or not that's something that

1471
01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:55,120
Speaker 1: is boring for misogyny or a faphobia. The way that

1472
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:57,000
Speaker 1: I like my body, the way that if you might

1473
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:01,400
Speaker 1: have an issue with your body, because I don't. Because

1474
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:03,640
Speaker 1: a lot of women that aren't fat, they're dealing with

1475
01:12:03,920 --> 01:12:06,439
Speaker 1: their body through the lens of misogyny, not fat phobia.

1476
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,880
Speaker 1: I think the only way out my body no not

1477
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 1: to wait. I bought tits, and I think I know

1478
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:16,160
Speaker 1: I wanted them, and I wanted them for myself. But

1479
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:19,200
Speaker 1: the older I get, I also know why. I'm like,

1480
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:21,240
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't a man that made me get him,

1481
01:12:21,640 --> 01:12:24,160
Speaker 1: but was it? Though? Okay, it's okay to think about it,

1482
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:27,600
Speaker 1: because did I feel less desirable because I didn't have it?

1483
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:31,680
Speaker 1: And like, I definitely think that that's the one thing,

1484
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 1: not particularly weight um, but definitely getting it. And I'm

1485
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 1: super happy I got it because I feel very sexy

1486
01:12:39,200 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 1: with it. But I've never been a girl with curbs.

1487
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 1: I've never had a big as, i've never had hips.

1488
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,240
Speaker 1: I've been teased on this show for not having it

1489
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:48,599
Speaker 1: like that, and I'm not doing that on some victim

1490
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,439
Speaker 1: pity party ship because I already know that that's misogyny though,

1491
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:53,960
Speaker 1: but that's also in my mind, like the way that

1492
01:12:54,560 --> 01:12:56,760
Speaker 1: I think that some skinny girl should goes just like, oh,

1493
01:12:56,960 --> 01:13:00,479
Speaker 1: I'm not curvy enough, and as we've all internalized misogyn right,

1494
01:13:01,320 --> 01:13:03,200
Speaker 1: we're brought up with the misogyny. So if it's like

1495
01:13:03,280 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 1: somebody telling me they don't feel like their curves is

1496
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:06,720
Speaker 1: big enough, their ass is not big enough, that's something

1497
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:09,400
Speaker 1: that's completely different from like fat phobia, because it's like

1498
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: you're dealing with things. You're dealing with your body under

1499
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:16,880
Speaker 1: the umbrella. That's a lot more interesting because I've heard

1500
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:20,800
Speaker 1: people say that's skinny bitch wolves. I don't call it

1501
01:13:20,840 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 1: that anymore because I still be with the ship. I

1502
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,639
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's but I think it should

1503
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:29,840
Speaker 1: be looking at and you looked that through another lens,

1504
01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:31,960
Speaker 1: because it is through a lens of misogyny and not

1505
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:34,920
Speaker 1: something because because I'm only saying that because that's usually

1506
01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:36,680
Speaker 1: what's used as a rebuttal when you say, hey, I

1507
01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:39,479
Speaker 1: don't like being treated like ship fat and then they're like, well,

1508
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:42,680
Speaker 1: hey I don't have ass, and all the boys in

1509
01:13:42,800 --> 01:13:44,920
Speaker 1: high school and they talked to the curby girls like yeah,

1510
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:46,760
Speaker 1: because those are the one sucking dick to get liked

1511
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,560
Speaker 1: and you probably didn't have to. So it's just like you.

1512
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:54,080
Speaker 1: I've never used not having courage because my hair the

1513
01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:55,280
Speaker 1: way that braid of my hair did it and it

1514
01:13:55,400 --> 01:14:00,000
Speaker 1: was a very awkward six hours. Bitch, I do feel

1515
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:03,439
Speaker 1: like i'd be mad about how like I've been mad

1516
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 1: at like, oh I wish I had this, but I

1517
01:14:06,479 --> 01:14:08,320
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever weaponized. And like I nik, I

1518
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:10,560
Speaker 1: don't want me because of this. No, because what's for

1519
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:12,240
Speaker 1: me is for me. Bro See, look, you used the

1520
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:14,640
Speaker 1: word weaponize because that's what they do. Yeah, they do,

1521
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:17,800
Speaker 1: they do. Look at me, I'm my fake why fake wonk.

1522
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:21,519
Speaker 1: I'm just saying through the conversation, I see the wheels turning. No,

1523
01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:23,479
Speaker 1: I see the word. I see the wheels turning. I

1524
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:25,599
Speaker 1: see Like you're like, oh that's interesting. Oh like okay,

1525
01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:28,559
Speaker 1: because like I'm not saying that then women don't have voes.

1526
01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that they're completely different from what something

1527
01:14:31,320 --> 01:14:33,479
Speaker 1: else might be doing. So like if I came up

1528
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:36,479
Speaker 1: to you and let's say you were like a white woman,

1529
01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:38,000
Speaker 1: and you're just like, oh, I just do it so

1530
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:41,080
Speaker 1: much because men don't respect me and dada, and I'm

1531
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:45,240
Speaker 1: just like okay, but just you know, that's something that

1532
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:47,720
Speaker 1: would usually be used in response to like a black

1533
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:49,360
Speaker 1: woman saying like hey, when I go to work. I

1534
01:14:49,479 --> 01:14:51,640
Speaker 1: have to change the volume of my voice. I have

1535
01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:53,519
Speaker 1: to code switch. I have to make sure I wear

1536
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:55,960
Speaker 1: things that don't show off my curves too much because

1537
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,800
Speaker 1: it will be seen this inappropriate something today. And I

1538
01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:01,080
Speaker 1: think the biggest thing that I'll take from you that

1539
01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:05,880
Speaker 1: I will change about what I do. I always say

1540
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:10,960
Speaker 1: feeling that I mean. Obviously I'm not saying oh I'm

1541
01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:14,960
Speaker 1: I've definitely said I feel fat, and I've never thought

1542
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,560
Speaker 1: about what it would feel like for someone else to

1543
01:15:16,640 --> 01:15:19,479
Speaker 1: hear that it is, but it's it's in my mind

1544
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:21,360
Speaker 1: how I feel it. Even when I'm on my period,

1545
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:23,960
Speaker 1: I'll use that word I feel like that, and I'm

1546
01:15:24,160 --> 01:15:26,120
Speaker 1: definitely not gonna do that anymore. I appreciate you for that.

1547
01:15:26,400 --> 01:15:27,960
Speaker 1: I want to get into the homemail before we get

1548
01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:30,439
Speaker 1: out of here. Um, this one is good because it

1549
01:15:30,479 --> 01:15:33,080
Speaker 1: actually kind of stems to you on what you said

1550
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,360
Speaker 1: earlier with the broken negget, so that this is a

1551
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:38,320
Speaker 1: hole that deserves it all. Hey, ladies, I just want

1552
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 1: to start by saying how much I love y'all. You've

1553
01:15:40,520 --> 01:15:43,240
Speaker 1: talked me through a pretty painful and dramatic breakup earlier

1554
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:45,960
Speaker 1: this year, and now you're teaching me about this whole

1555
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:49,040
Speaker 1: life and all the craziness that comes with it. Dating

1556
01:15:49,520 --> 01:15:51,400
Speaker 1: has been a wash for me lately, since me too.

1557
01:15:51,920 --> 01:15:54,160
Speaker 1: I'm not looking to be in a relationship with anyone

1558
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:56,680
Speaker 1: at this time, but I do enjoy getting to know

1559
01:15:56,800 --> 01:15:59,559
Speaker 1: new people and going out on dates. Here is where

1560
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:03,200
Speaker 1: the problem lies. My last relationship was with a man

1561
01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:07,000
Speaker 1: that didn't have much of anything. He was always in debt,

1562
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:09,520
Speaker 1: never out of car, and had some pretty bad addictions.

1563
01:16:10,040 --> 01:16:12,240
Speaker 1: I stayed with him for over three years because I

1564
01:16:12,320 --> 01:16:15,400
Speaker 1: felt like I could help fix his situation, and because

1565
01:16:15,439 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 1: the duke was so bombed and all capitalised me, obviously

1566
01:16:20,520 --> 01:16:22,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't. We broke up in four months later, he's

1567
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:25,280
Speaker 1: engaged to a white girl. But that's another story for

1568
01:16:25,320 --> 01:16:30,320
Speaker 1: another time. Anyways, I'm twenty three years old, college educated,

1569
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:33,160
Speaker 1: attractive black woman that pays for my own car, apartment,

1570
01:16:33,200 --> 01:16:35,160
Speaker 1: and student loans, and I have a pretty great job

1571
01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:39,000
Speaker 1: at a nonprofit. Basically, my ass is deserving of a

1572
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:41,439
Speaker 1: man that matches my energy and has the means to

1573
01:16:41,520 --> 01:16:44,400
Speaker 1: improve my life. However, all the men I seem to

1574
01:16:44,439 --> 01:16:47,559
Speaker 1: attract are typically broke or like ambition of any kind.

1575
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:50,000
Speaker 1: You've done at least two episodes on sugar dating in

1576
01:16:50,040 --> 01:16:52,560
Speaker 1: the past, but seeking arrangements is whack. And as a

1577
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 1: black woman, finding the right sugar daddy that is willing

1578
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:58,800
Speaker 1: to consistently spoil mentor and isn't just wanting to pay

1579
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:02,559
Speaker 1: for play, situation is heard outside of sugar daddy's How

1580
01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 1: do I position myself to receive the abundant blessings of

1581
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 1: five niggas that are willing to simply show me the

1582
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:10,720
Speaker 1: finer things You both seemed You both seem to do

1583
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:13,040
Speaker 1: it with ease. And I know these men exist here

1584
01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:15,280
Speaker 1: in Dallas, Texas. Can't wait to see you guys at

1585
01:17:15,320 --> 01:17:19,120
Speaker 1: the show. Love a broke nigga magnet, Come on Dallas.

1586
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:27,320
Speaker 1: They do exist in Dallas, you do. But also they

1587
01:17:27,400 --> 01:17:30,000
Speaker 1: got many in Texas, specifically Houston. You have a lot

1588
01:17:30,080 --> 01:17:35,040
Speaker 1: of the oil money down there. Um, I would say, here,

1589
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:37,800
Speaker 1: so here's something that me and my friends talk about. Um.

1590
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:40,160
Speaker 1: And you don't have to go out and and buy

1591
01:17:40,600 --> 01:17:44,360
Speaker 1: luxury items, but I will say, um, you do attract

1592
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:48,120
Speaker 1: what you put out. Um. So I would say, dressing

1593
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,439
Speaker 1: a certain way when you go to either nice restaurants

1594
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:53,479
Speaker 1: or out to a club, making sure your shoes are

1595
01:17:53,560 --> 01:17:56,599
Speaker 1: well kept, your outfit is nice, your hair is laid.

1596
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:59,599
Speaker 1: So even just maybe putting more effort into what you're

1597
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:03,400
Speaker 1: put out, keeping your nails done and literally just coming

1598
01:18:03,439 --> 01:18:07,080
Speaker 1: across more well kept does attract people who either want

1599
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:09,599
Speaker 1: to spend money on you or people with money. There's

1600
01:18:09,600 --> 01:18:12,800
Speaker 1: also two things to be said to with your appearances.

1601
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:16,640
Speaker 1: It's levels, right, like the way that I'm dressed right now,

1602
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:20,360
Speaker 1: I'm wearing like orange pants, big chunky boots and sweater

1603
01:18:20,439 --> 01:18:23,160
Speaker 1: or whatever. This is how I like to dress. I'll

1604
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,760
Speaker 1: dress casually and when I'm going out and hanging out

1605
01:18:25,760 --> 01:18:28,760
Speaker 1: with friends. But there's levels to ship if you want

1606
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:31,600
Speaker 1: to niggle on a different level, and that's not the

1607
01:18:31,720 --> 01:18:34,160
Speaker 1: niggas you're running into when I'm in my orange pants

1608
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:37,599
Speaker 1: or chunky heels. You I believe you should dress better

1609
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:40,280
Speaker 1: than normal or even have a tire four that ship.

1610
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:43,000
Speaker 1: Like I had my sugar Daddy clothes. I have my

1611
01:18:43,520 --> 01:18:45,800
Speaker 1: solo house clothes. Bro, I have my I'm going on,

1612
01:18:46,160 --> 01:18:48,519
Speaker 1: I have Hampton's clothes to loom clothes. Then I have

1613
01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:52,160
Speaker 1: my Caid Coon clothes. Like I think that we're like

1614
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:55,000
Speaker 1: just throwing in like that fucking Oh, I've got a

1615
01:18:55,040 --> 01:18:56,519
Speaker 1: cute dress that I word to the club. Normally, well,

1616
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,400
Speaker 1: don't wear it when you're catching a sugar Daddy because

1617
01:18:58,439 --> 01:19:00,400
Speaker 1: that's not the same one. But not aly that just

1618
01:19:00,520 --> 01:19:03,720
Speaker 1: knowing your your space. Now you're dressed. So yesterday after

1619
01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:06,559
Speaker 1: the studio, UM, I end up going out hanging out

1620
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,720
Speaker 1: with my homeboy is Sante. But then one of my

1621
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:12,639
Speaker 1: friends invited me to SLBs. I had on Forces, jeans,

1622
01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:17,080
Speaker 1: a sweatshirt, real chill. Then Katie was throwing a holiday

1623
01:19:17,120 --> 01:19:19,840
Speaker 1: party at Catch Steak, so his brother hit me and

1624
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,559
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, are you coming to the holiday party?

1625
01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:24,240
Speaker 1: Kevin's having it and I was like, Nigga, I'm on

1626
01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:26,519
Speaker 1: Forces and jeans. I know that I'm not going to

1627
01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:29,000
Speaker 1: go in to Catch Steak where there's gonna be other

1628
01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:32,280
Speaker 1: NBA players, there's gonna be you know, probably team execs.

1629
01:19:32,360 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 1: There's gonna be niggas with money. I can't go in

1630
01:19:34,479 --> 01:19:37,160
Speaker 1: there with air Forces. I felt way more comfortable meeting

1631
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:40,639
Speaker 1: my other homeboy SLB's chilling, rocking it out. So it's

1632
01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:43,400
Speaker 1: also knowing and being aware of the spaces that you're

1633
01:19:43,439 --> 01:19:45,320
Speaker 1: gonna be put in. If your friend is inviting you

1634
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:48,360
Speaker 1: to a hotel lobby to have drinks and you know

1635
01:19:48,439 --> 01:19:51,439
Speaker 1: it's a nice hotel, definitely dressed the part. If you're

1636
01:19:51,439 --> 01:19:54,240
Speaker 1: gonna go to the Lower East Side and have drinks,

1637
01:19:54,680 --> 01:19:57,639
Speaker 1: you're probably not gonna find the person that you would

1638
01:19:57,640 --> 01:19:59,160
Speaker 1: expect to spend a lot of money on. And I

1639
01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:01,760
Speaker 1: think that's another thing too, with like expectations with like

1640
01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:05,640
Speaker 1: getting money out of niggas, like not every number you

1641
01:20:05,720 --> 01:20:07,639
Speaker 1: get so like and I really I want to talk

1642
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:09,439
Speaker 1: about Cutty with this because I think she might have

1643
01:20:09,479 --> 01:20:10,920
Speaker 1: mentioned in her book and I read her book two

1644
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:15,760
Speaker 1: years ago, but like, if you're, you know, trying to

1645
01:20:15,880 --> 01:20:18,040
Speaker 1: get money out of every single nigga you fuck with

1646
01:20:18,160 --> 01:20:21,320
Speaker 1: because you're following a person like Cutty who's excelled in

1647
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,600
Speaker 1: this or even listening to this show and hearing us

1648
01:20:23,640 --> 01:20:25,640
Speaker 1: talk about niggas that we funk with like that, no

1649
01:20:25,720 --> 01:20:28,320
Speaker 1: one understand. Everybody at this table is fucking roe nigger right,

1650
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,519
Speaker 1: but still has preached about the rich nigga and game

1651
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:37,880
Speaker 1: money cannot pass them in the same net. Like you

1652
01:20:38,040 --> 01:20:39,920
Speaker 1: can't think that when you were chilling out a dive

1653
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:42,559
Speaker 1: bar and met a dude that he's going to give

1654
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:44,840
Speaker 1: you the same type of ship that someone else might have.

1655
01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:47,000
Speaker 1: It's just I'm not saying you can't. I'm just saying,

1656
01:20:47,120 --> 01:20:51,320
Speaker 1: like it's set your expectations realistically where to find them.

1657
01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:53,880
Speaker 1: Hotel lobbies are like the number one place I've always

1658
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,200
Speaker 1: read online. That's like across the board. What they've said

1659
01:20:56,320 --> 01:21:01,600
Speaker 1: is a thing. Yes, because it's undercut a lot, specifically

1660
01:21:01,640 --> 01:21:04,200
Speaker 1: on the West coast in l A. Of course, well Vegas,

1661
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:05,680
Speaker 1: it's kind of they don't really do it too much.

1662
01:21:05,800 --> 01:21:07,840
Speaker 1: But in l A, my friends would go to the

1663
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:10,400
Speaker 1: nice restaurants and hopes of finding someone, and even sitting

1664
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:12,320
Speaker 1: at a bar they got caught. Well, there was an

1665
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:15,240
Speaker 1: undercover cop because they will look to see if you're

1666
01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:20,720
Speaker 1: trying to um, you know, sell yourself. Women as well, Yeah,

1667
01:21:20,920 --> 01:21:22,479
Speaker 1: that woman that was just staying at the hotel and

1668
01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:25,439
Speaker 1: they were like, obviously you're here, and they kicked up

1669
01:21:25,479 --> 01:21:28,639
Speaker 1: the hotel and rest. Oh wow, I didn't hear about this. Yeah,

1670
01:21:29,040 --> 01:21:35,400
Speaker 1: So like that if you were trans black, but you

1671
01:21:35,479 --> 01:21:37,360
Speaker 1: just can't be in the lobby, why would you in

1672
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:40,320
Speaker 1: the lobby. That's that's insane. But even as my friends,

1673
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,160
Speaker 1: you know, with their bodies down, are dressed a certain

1674
01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:45,000
Speaker 1: way that people automatically assume they're there for sex work. No,

1675
01:21:45,040 --> 01:21:46,479
Speaker 1: but we're just here to get the nice cocktails. We

1676
01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:48,280
Speaker 1: have the money to pay for them. But yeah, like,

1677
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:50,439
Speaker 1: and that's been something even being with my friends where

1678
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:52,640
Speaker 1: we've been looked at and we'll be like, oh, they

1679
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:55,120
Speaker 1: think we're here working, even if we're not. We're just

1680
01:21:55,200 --> 01:21:57,320
Speaker 1: there to eat good food. It happens to me one

1681
01:21:57,439 --> 01:21:59,280
Speaker 1: time where I realized the dude thought I was a hole.

1682
01:21:59,439 --> 01:22:01,600
Speaker 1: And when he thought it, I almost I was like,

1683
01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:03,360
Speaker 1: I smiled and laughed because I couldn't leave it. I

1684
01:22:03,400 --> 01:22:06,040
Speaker 1: was at hunting Fish in New York. That's the number

1685
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:08,600
Speaker 1: one place for sugar daddies, thought fish. If you're in

1686
01:22:08,680 --> 01:22:10,599
Speaker 1: New York, hot Fish is where you go to get them.

1687
01:22:10,640 --> 01:22:14,240
Speaker 1: But even our cameraman is smiling. That is the number.

1688
01:22:14,720 --> 01:22:19,479
Speaker 1: Is the number? The number one. I was in. I

1689
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:21,439
Speaker 1: was suited when I was, you know, working in tech,

1690
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,320
Speaker 1: and I came in there, but under my suit I

1691
01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:25,759
Speaker 1: were like maybe a lace like thing under the blazer.

1692
01:22:26,720 --> 01:22:29,600
Speaker 1: This dude was like from New York, honey and the

1693
01:22:29,680 --> 01:22:31,599
Speaker 1: honey thing. I was like, yeah, I'm not from here,

1694
01:22:31,640 --> 01:22:33,280
Speaker 1: but you know I live here. And I was like

1695
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:35,800
Speaker 1: I worked nearby and he's like, oh yeah, okay, and

1696
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:37,639
Speaker 1: he's like, well, I'm staying nearby. I was like, oh

1697
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:40,320
Speaker 1: cool number one. I was like, I actually live on

1698
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:44,400
Speaker 1: fifty four right and at the time, And it's funny

1699
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:46,560
Speaker 1: because I didn't realize I was sounding like I was

1700
01:22:46,640 --> 01:22:49,479
Speaker 1: being inviting. Yeah, And right before he left, he was

1701
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:52,720
Speaker 1: like listen, like I do this all the time, but

1702
01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:56,439
Speaker 1: you know, I think you're great. And I was like,

1703
01:22:56,840 --> 01:22:59,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm not at home, but I am no.

1704
01:23:00,479 --> 01:23:02,000
Speaker 1: But I was like yeah. When he left, I felt

1705
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:05,160
Speaker 1: insulted and like hot at the same time. Oh my god,

1706
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:09,160
Speaker 1: you were like carry from sexist yet that day. I

1707
01:23:09,320 --> 01:23:11,479
Speaker 1: hate that episode because she was really in her feelings

1708
01:23:11,479 --> 01:23:13,400
Speaker 1: about that. I was like, grow up Sundays I love

1709
01:23:13,439 --> 01:23:15,920
Speaker 1: with Samantha said you have power between your legs and

1710
01:23:16,000 --> 01:23:18,120
Speaker 1: he got power in his pocket. It wasn't a direct quote,

1711
01:23:18,120 --> 01:23:19,600
Speaker 1: but it was something like that anyway. It was so

1712
01:23:20,200 --> 01:23:21,840
Speaker 1: I just realizing whatever the time ed and keeps looking

1713
01:23:21,840 --> 01:23:22,880
Speaker 1: at me. I don't know if you ever someone to go.

1714
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:26,400
Speaker 1: Mandy couldn't even be here past two weeks. I was

1715
01:23:26,400 --> 01:23:28,360
Speaker 1: about to get scancer. I can't say something real quick though.

1716
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,519
Speaker 1: How we were talking about like the whole bad energy

1717
01:23:30,600 --> 01:23:35,160
Speaker 1: and closing portal. She like that know how to close man,

1718
01:23:35,240 --> 01:23:39,439
Speaker 1: it funny. How many's Mike bro though? How what? How? What?

1719
01:23:40,160 --> 01:23:43,719
Speaker 1: Look at your microphone? What about it? Your mic broken?

1720
01:23:43,840 --> 01:23:46,559
Speaker 1: Arts energy? I know because the devil dig and I'm

1721
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:49,120
Speaker 1: talking about it. It's not it's one of their wives.

1722
01:23:49,160 --> 01:23:53,880
Speaker 1: I'm serious. Listen, let's not talk about everything in the

1723
01:23:53,920 --> 01:23:58,040
Speaker 1: studio falls apart. Let's not. Let's really not. I don't

1724
01:23:58,080 --> 01:24:01,840
Speaker 1: want to say, God damn this dude. So it's not

1725
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:06,760
Speaker 1: motherfucking double days. Listen, listen this this podcast that don't

1726
01:24:06,760 --> 01:24:11,280
Speaker 1: even record out of here anymore. Goddamnit. So anyways, but shots, nigga,

1727
01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:13,519
Speaker 1: it ain't the double dick energy. I'm not cursed. It's

1728
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:17,240
Speaker 1: the motherfucking Mike stand anyways, or it is a lord

1729
01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:21,439
Speaker 1: father god full at full card pops. Listen, I'm about

1730
01:24:21,479 --> 01:24:25,719
Speaker 1: to add to understand or underscore to my name. Maybe

1731
01:24:25,920 --> 01:24:30,519
Speaker 1: I think it's one on maybe two. They can and

1732
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:32,200
Speaker 1: they know all my A k A. They don't. They

1733
01:24:32,240 --> 01:24:36,160
Speaker 1: don't motherfuckering curse everything. Anyway, before we get out of here, Ashley,

1734
01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:38,560
Speaker 1: can you give our listeners where they may find you,

1735
01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:40,720
Speaker 1: if you have any websites, if you have anything going on,

1736
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:44,240
Speaker 1: well you can find me an actually, Chubby Bunny Um,

1737
01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:46,639
Speaker 1: that's a s H l E. I g H chubby bunny.

1738
01:24:46,680 --> 01:24:48,800
Speaker 1: That's all one word on Instagram. I don't really use

1739
01:24:48,840 --> 01:24:51,880
Speaker 1: any other social media at the moment. I also in

1740
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:55,080
Speaker 1: the vein of what I'm talking about, have a lingerie

1741
01:24:55,120 --> 01:24:59,200
Speaker 1: party coming up February sixteen. Yeah, we have. We had

1742
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,840
Speaker 1: wanted June that was called Centerfold. It was laundry party.

1743
01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:04,559
Speaker 1: Went really well. So we're doing it again and I'm

1744
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:06,880
Speaker 1: running it with my friend Venus Cuffs, and I'm very

1745
01:25:06,920 --> 01:25:10,040
Speaker 1: excited to have that happen again because the first one,

1746
01:25:10,120 --> 01:25:12,080
Speaker 1: even though there was drama, it was a success. It

1747
01:25:12,120 --> 01:25:13,479
Speaker 1: will be here in New York. It'll be here in

1748
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:16,080
Speaker 1: New York. It would be at three dollar bill in Brooklyn,

1749
01:25:16,280 --> 01:25:18,080
Speaker 1: So you have to give us the flyer. I would

1750
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:20,559
Speaker 1: definitely have to post that. Yet we're taking our photos

1751
01:25:20,640 --> 01:25:24,680
Speaker 1: like next week, pot I will happen. Yes, so I'll

1752
01:25:24,680 --> 01:25:27,519
Speaker 1: get that to you. But that's what we're doing. Awesome, awesome.

1753
01:25:27,560 --> 01:25:30,960
Speaker 1: I do appreciate um you coming in here. Um even

1754
01:25:31,160 --> 01:25:35,040
Speaker 1: even for us going on tour. When we first decided

1755
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:37,760
Speaker 1: to do merch we we we bought quite a bit

1756
01:25:37,840 --> 01:25:40,000
Speaker 1: of shirts. We we bought it in bulk and when

1757
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:42,599
Speaker 1: we brought it to Atlanta as one of our first

1758
01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:45,400
Speaker 1: Atlanta shows. This was maybe two years ago. UM, my

1759
01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:48,200
Speaker 1: friend who did the table um, who was also bigger,

1760
01:25:48,240 --> 01:25:50,160
Speaker 1: she went through the surgery as me. She's like, girl,

1761
01:25:50,240 --> 01:25:51,880
Speaker 1: you have people that wanted to buy shirts, and you

1762
01:25:51,960 --> 01:25:54,160
Speaker 1: guys did they were too you guys didn't have the

1763
01:25:54,200 --> 01:25:56,920
Speaker 1: bigger sizes. So even again, I want to thank our

1764
01:25:56,920 --> 01:25:59,479
Speaker 1: patrons because because of you, we did a large order.

1765
01:25:59,560 --> 01:26:01,439
Speaker 1: But we went all the way up to three x

1766
01:26:01,640 --> 01:26:04,400
Speaker 1: L on our tort shirts just because we do want

1767
01:26:04,439 --> 01:26:10,479
Speaker 1: to include Yeah. So um, I do apologize for that

1768
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:12,800
Speaker 1: misstep two years ago for those of you who came

1769
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:15,080
Speaker 1: to our show in Atlanta and couldn't get merged because

1770
01:26:15,080 --> 01:26:17,320
Speaker 1: we didn't have your size. Um. But yes, for our

1771
01:26:17,360 --> 01:26:19,040
Speaker 1: tour March, we do go all the way into three X.

1772
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:20,479
Speaker 1: And there's that three X kind of looked like I

1773
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:22,240
Speaker 1: tell you right now, I want to take your skinny

1774
01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:24,599
Speaker 1: as money, your big as money, Nick money or mom money,

1775
01:26:24,640 --> 01:26:27,840
Speaker 1: your old money, and your scamming money. Now I went

1776
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:29,919
Speaker 1: all that. But again I want to thank our patrons.

1777
01:26:30,320 --> 01:26:32,519
Speaker 1: Because of you, we were able to do that. If

1778
01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:35,160
Speaker 1: you guys, UM, aren't familiar and maybe this is your

1779
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:37,400
Speaker 1: first time listening and you came on over because Ashley

1780
01:26:37,439 --> 01:26:40,640
Speaker 1: Chubby Bunny told you to. Um. Do know that we

1781
01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:44,680
Speaker 1: do offer three bonus episodes every month, so depending on

1782
01:26:44,720 --> 01:26:46,400
Speaker 1: how many Mondays land in that month, you can get

1783
01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:49,200
Speaker 1: anywhere between seven and eight episodes in that month. Um,

1784
01:26:49,439 --> 01:26:51,600
Speaker 1: and we are going to leave you off with a

1785
01:26:51,680 --> 01:26:54,519
Speaker 1: five minute bonus clip front Patreon. If you want to

1786
01:26:54,520 --> 01:26:59,519
Speaker 1: become a patron, go to Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. Also,

1787
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:02,680
Speaker 1: if you want to submit homemail, definitely go ahead and

1788
01:27:02,800 --> 01:27:06,160
Speaker 1: email us at Horrible Decisions at gmail dot com. That's

1789
01:27:06,320 --> 01:27:08,679
Speaker 1: w h O R E I b l E decisions

1790
01:27:08,720 --> 01:27:12,160
Speaker 1: dot com. Also, we come into a motherfucker's sitting near you,

1791
01:27:12,920 --> 01:27:16,040
Speaker 1: So if you haven't yet get your motherfucking tickets to

1792
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:19,240
Speaker 1: see us live, we are bringing Kinksters to the stage.

1793
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:21,560
Speaker 1: We have a lot of invited guests coming out. You

1794
01:27:21,640 --> 01:27:24,479
Speaker 1: may be able to see some of our previous guests

1795
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:26,640
Speaker 1: on stage. And it's a hell of a show that

1796
01:27:26,720 --> 01:27:28,800
Speaker 1: we give you guys. So if you guys have not yet,

1797
01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:32,400
Speaker 1: be sure to purchase your tickets at Horrible Decisions dot

1798
01:27:32,560 --> 01:27:35,680
Speaker 1: com and click the city that you're in or one

1799
01:27:35,720 --> 01:27:37,639
Speaker 1: that you plan to travel to and it will take

1800
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:39,840
Speaker 1: you right to the landing page of the tickets. Once again,

1801
01:27:39,840 --> 01:27:41,599
Speaker 1: we're gonna leave you with a five minute bonus clip

1802
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:45,120
Speaker 1: of our Patreon episode. Once again, thank you Ashley for

1803
01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:48,280
Speaker 1: joining us. And this has been yet another episode of

1804
01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:52,280
Speaker 1: horrible Decisions. Three things you and your partner app here

1805
01:27:52,320 --> 01:27:55,320
Speaker 1: to have in commons so you can answer this. Me

1806
01:27:55,400 --> 01:28:02,400
Speaker 1: and you, this is to say six questions to love

1807
01:28:02,479 --> 01:28:08,000
Speaker 1: each other. Um, what do we have in common? I

1808
01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:11,000
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie. People listen to us, and I think

1809
01:28:11,040 --> 01:28:13,120
Speaker 1: now that we're three years in, they realized we don't

1810
01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:17,559
Speaker 1: have much in common outside of tol. We both love

1811
01:28:17,640 --> 01:28:22,320
Speaker 1: to suck dick and we we both get our hair

1812
01:28:22,560 --> 01:28:26,519
Speaker 1: done with we've we both love to travel, we both

1813
01:28:26,720 --> 01:28:28,840
Speaker 1: love we both love our friends a lot. We love

1814
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:34,160
Speaker 1: our friends. We both like ethnic foods. I was gonna

1815
01:28:34,160 --> 01:28:39,719
Speaker 1: say we both like bougie things, but I blewis bitten

1816
01:28:40,240 --> 01:28:42,120
Speaker 1: per across it. And you see, I got a very

1817
01:28:42,200 --> 01:28:45,040
Speaker 1: very jacket. But this is just now like things that

1818
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:49,920
Speaker 1: I couldn't afford. Um, and I also used to so

1819
01:28:50,080 --> 01:28:52,679
Speaker 1: the niggas that I've when I talk about sugar daddies

1820
01:28:52,680 --> 01:28:54,280
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. All of the men that I've

1821
01:28:54,320 --> 01:28:58,120
Speaker 1: dealt with are those that won't buy me. They would

1822
01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:00,679
Speaker 1: never they would never buy me tangible thing. They would

1823
01:29:00,680 --> 01:29:03,759
Speaker 1: buy me things for school, they would pay for my bills,

1824
01:29:04,120 --> 01:29:07,519
Speaker 1: they would do things for my livelihood. But they're they're

1825
01:29:07,680 --> 01:29:12,920
Speaker 1: not materialistic niggas. So now that you know, they know,

1826
01:29:13,040 --> 01:29:15,720
Speaker 1: I really don't need that money that way, if I

1827
01:29:15,800 --> 01:29:18,160
Speaker 1: do ask for something, it's like, oh, I want this,

1828
01:29:18,439 --> 01:29:20,280
Speaker 1: and they're okay, Like I'm waiting on these wire cell

1829
01:29:20,320 --> 01:29:24,559
Speaker 1: shoes right now. So it's also, yes, the pump that's

1830
01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:27,599
Speaker 1: my Valentine's list, that's what only what I'm getting. Well,

1831
01:29:27,680 --> 01:29:29,960
Speaker 1: it's crazy because so they have a boot version and

1832
01:29:30,040 --> 01:29:33,200
Speaker 1: open toe versions and pumpers. So the boots are seventeen

1833
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:37,640
Speaker 1: hundred the and the other two are. So I was like,

1834
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:41,519
Speaker 1: the boot is seasonal. Open toe was also seasonal because

1835
01:29:41,560 --> 01:29:43,080
Speaker 1: we live, I said, the pump I could wear a

1836
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:47,160
Speaker 1: year round. I would get in those shoes by the way.

1837
01:29:47,439 --> 01:29:51,800
Speaker 1: Um yeah, but see even my even on Louis, it's

1838
01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:54,200
Speaker 1: on like, um, combat boots they said are uncomfortable. Not

1839
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:57,920
Speaker 1: for those. Yeah, that's what I want. I know that

1840
01:29:58,439 --> 01:30:01,759
Speaker 1: you like ship like this, but that's kind of tacky.

1841
01:30:01,960 --> 01:30:04,080
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not tacky. He's like, listen, it's

1842
01:30:04,080 --> 01:30:06,479
Speaker 1: too over the top. He's like, it's not. Then you

1843
01:30:06,520 --> 01:30:07,960
Speaker 1: could dress it down, but you can wear that with

1844
01:30:08,120 --> 01:30:09,760
Speaker 1: cargo pants. I was like, I don't know why you

1845
01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:11,160
Speaker 1: feel like it's too much. He was like, I think

1846
01:30:11,200 --> 01:30:12,880
Speaker 1: it's too showy. He was like, I'll get you some

1847
01:30:12,920 --> 01:30:14,519
Speaker 1: while I sell ship, but it's not gonna be all

1848
01:30:14,560 --> 01:30:17,000
Speaker 1: over it. And I'm like, then this body standing mad it.

1849
01:30:17,720 --> 01:30:20,479
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie like I'm one of those that

1850
01:30:20,600 --> 01:30:24,719
Speaker 1: didn't grow up with money. I don't have family members

1851
01:30:24,760 --> 01:30:27,080
Speaker 1: that have money, and to me, I don't believe in

1852
01:30:27,200 --> 01:30:30,719
Speaker 1: spending so much money on something. So I was talking

1853
01:30:30,720 --> 01:30:32,519
Speaker 1: to my homeboy about it, and I was like, you know,

1854
01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:34,960
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna buy something, the monograph is gonna be

1855
01:30:35,040 --> 01:30:37,120
Speaker 1: only because they're gonna know if it costs to a hundred,

1856
01:30:37,240 --> 01:30:39,400
Speaker 1: and they're gonna because they gonna see it. I don't

1857
01:30:39,400 --> 01:30:41,880
Speaker 1: want just a leather black leathers. I felt like the

1858
01:30:42,160 --> 01:30:44,720
Speaker 1: y s l like he'll was tasteful and not that

1859
01:30:44,880 --> 01:30:47,880
Speaker 1: much and he's like no, he was like, real, Nias

1860
01:30:47,920 --> 01:30:49,240
Speaker 1: know when you have a certain kind of time. I'm like, well,

1861
01:30:49,280 --> 01:30:51,040
Speaker 1: I don't know I don't know a bit started walking

1862
01:30:51,040 --> 01:30:53,240
Speaker 1: down the street with well, actually the y saw doesn't

1863
01:30:53,240 --> 01:30:55,040
Speaker 1: have the very round front with a certain kind of thing.

1864
01:30:55,080 --> 01:30:57,400
Speaker 1: But anyway, Nah, okay. Nine is for what in your

1865
01:30:57,400 --> 01:30:59,000
Speaker 1: life do you feel us fray full? Ten If you

1866
01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:01,679
Speaker 1: could change anything about there raised, I would be eleven.

1867
01:31:02,280 --> 01:31:04,479
Speaker 1: Tell take four minutes and tell your partner your life

1868
01:31:04,520 --> 01:31:06,240
Speaker 1: story and as much detail as possible. I think that's

1869
01:31:06,240 --> 01:31:08,479
Speaker 1: a good one too. Um. If you could wake up

1870
01:31:08,520 --> 01:31:11,920
Speaker 1: tomorrow morning having gained one quality or ability, what would

1871
01:31:11,920 --> 01:31:17,639
Speaker 1: it be? Can I get into my side fake? Yeah?

1872
01:31:18,240 --> 01:31:22,160
Speaker 1: Oh so I would want to be able to teleport

1873
01:31:22,240 --> 01:31:27,439
Speaker 1: anywhere in the world. Wow, mine was totally different. I'm

1874
01:31:27,439 --> 01:31:30,400
Speaker 1: thinking of magical powers. We like, what what abilities are

1875
01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:32,360
Speaker 1: you talking about? I was gonna say I would want

1876
01:31:32,400 --> 01:31:35,840
Speaker 1: like one quality. I would want like I wouldn't want

1877
01:31:35,840 --> 01:31:38,559
Speaker 1: to be like super strong, Like I'm trying really hard

1878
01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:41,080
Speaker 1: to like build strength, like that's something that's so important

1879
01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:43,200
Speaker 1: to me, Like being able to lift myself up doing

1880
01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:45,120
Speaker 1: certain ships like that, and I feel like a failure

1881
01:31:45,160 --> 01:31:47,320
Speaker 1: every time, and so like my I T band has

1882
01:31:47,360 --> 01:31:48,880
Speaker 1: been sucked up. I haven't been able to work out,

1883
01:31:48,920 --> 01:31:51,759
Speaker 1: so it's all upper body. I'm gaining weight. That's funny.

1884
01:31:52,840 --> 01:31:55,000
Speaker 1: I can't do pull ups for ship like. My upper

1885
01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:58,640
Speaker 1: body strength sucks, but my lower body these things stronger,

1886
01:31:58,760 --> 01:32:02,720
Speaker 1: but most people are. I can squat and do yeah,

1887
01:32:02,840 --> 01:32:05,400
Speaker 1: but that's how I have a lot of lower body strength. Um.

1888
01:32:05,880 --> 01:32:08,760
Speaker 1: Except if a crystal ball could tell you the truth

1889
01:32:08,800 --> 01:32:11,160
Speaker 1: about yourself, your life, the future, where would you want

1890
01:32:11,160 --> 01:32:14,800
Speaker 1: to know? I know about my life. I don't believe

1891
01:32:14,880 --> 01:32:17,320
Speaker 1: in learning about the future. No, I don't want to

1892
01:32:17,320 --> 01:32:18,439
Speaker 1: know about the future. You know, I was going to

1893
01:32:18,479 --> 01:32:19,840
Speaker 1: say the same thing. I don't want to I don't

1894
01:32:19,840 --> 01:32:22,600
Speaker 1: want to know about the future. Actually, the only thing

1895
01:32:22,640 --> 01:32:24,040
Speaker 1: about the future I would want to know, if I

1896
01:32:24,080 --> 01:32:28,280
Speaker 1: could specify, I would want to know when or if

1897
01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:31,960
Speaker 1: I'm ever gonna find love. I would want to know

1898
01:32:32,240 --> 01:32:35,120
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna be like Oprah and just care about

1899
01:32:35,160 --> 01:32:38,639
Speaker 1: my money in my career, or if I'm genuine. Yeah,

1900
01:32:38,840 --> 01:32:41,679
Speaker 1: seman doesn't really count. I don't think so. I think

1901
01:32:41,720 --> 01:32:44,760
Speaker 1: that they're just chills her partner. Yeah, I don't know

1902
01:32:44,800 --> 01:32:48,160
Speaker 1: about that. I just think if people say that I'm here,

1903
01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:51,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. But okay, so think okay, okay, well,

1904
01:32:51,520 --> 01:32:55,200
Speaker 1: oh no, me too. But then Tracey Ellis Fross in

1905
01:32:55,280 --> 01:32:57,960
Speaker 1: her fifties, fabulous, but still no partner. The same for

1906
01:32:58,040 --> 01:33:02,639
Speaker 1: a Maya beautiful chick. Never she ain't never would either Chili.

1907
01:33:03,320 --> 01:33:05,679
Speaker 1: I don't want to end up like Chili, so I'm

1908
01:33:05,720 --> 01:33:08,480
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. Like to me, if I could specify,

1909
01:33:08,560 --> 01:33:10,280
Speaker 1: I want to know if I'm ever gonna find love

1910
01:33:10,400 --> 01:33:12,120
Speaker 1: or if love just is not in the cards for me.

1911
01:33:12,800 --> 01:33:15,280
Speaker 1: I would want to know that so I can get

1912
01:33:15,320 --> 01:33:18,120
Speaker 1: off these dating apps and stop shooting my shot in

1913
01:33:18,200 --> 01:33:20,160
Speaker 1: these niggs. So I would I would kind of want

1914
01:33:20,160 --> 01:33:22,560
Speaker 1: to know maybe when I meet my soul mate, Like

1915
01:33:22,680 --> 01:33:25,280
Speaker 1: for example, let's say they say it's in and be like, Okay,

1916
01:33:25,280 --> 01:33:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do all the gang thangs and should I

1917
01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:29,000
Speaker 1: need to do now because I'm gonna meet my nigga.

1918
01:33:31,000 --> 01:33:33,080
Speaker 1: But maybe if I know I'm gonna meet my soul

1919
01:33:33,120 --> 01:33:36,360
Speaker 1: mate this year, bet I'm gonna I'm a sloan down.

1920
01:33:37,040 --> 01:33:39,000
Speaker 1: But if my nigga are you, I'm a race to

1921
01:33:39,120 --> 01:33:41,760
Speaker 1: that finished. But I mean, I'm gonna be likely coming.

1922
01:33:42,040 --> 01:33:43,800
Speaker 1: But if I know that I may not meet my

1923
01:33:43,920 --> 01:33:46,600
Speaker 1: soul mate for another ten years, I think then I

1924
01:33:46,640 --> 01:33:51,320
Speaker 1: would stop putting so much emphasis on, you know, my

1925
01:33:51,479 --> 01:33:55,160
Speaker 1: dating strategies, and and the time I spend going back

1926
01:33:55,240 --> 01:33:58,439
Speaker 1: to men in the past or trying to meet new

1927
01:33:58,520 --> 01:34:02,200
Speaker 1: people that can mean more to me. It's jail.