1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Never know about yours. 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,319 Speaker 1: M Buckle up and hold up tight. We got a 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: four year here. It is Strawberry Letter. All right, thank you. Subject, 9 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: Just tell me the truth. Dear Stephen Shirley, I have 10 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: been married for two years to a man that is 11 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: twenty four years older than I am. I was his 12 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 1: side piece for the last two years of his marriage, 13 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: and he got divorced to be with me. After we 14 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: got married, things changed. I had to accept that my 15 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,919 Speaker 1: husband was not going to be monogamous, partly because he 16 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: was having sex with me while he was married. I 17 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: never signed up or agreed to an open marriage, but 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm wise enough to know that he needs more than 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: one woman to make him feel like a king. I 20 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: won't say that I'm miserable with him, because we've had 21 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: a lot of fun and we traveled to exotic places often. 22 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: I just wish he'd tell me the truth about what 23 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: he is doing. On the side, I have to be 24 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: the most reasonable wife on the planet, and I don't 25 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,479 Speaker 1: check his phone or his social media accounts. I can 26 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: get in his car and smell perfume on the passenger 27 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: seatbelt and I don't say a word. I know he 28 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: loves me because he shows me over his wife. I 29 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 1: thought he would continue to be open and honest once 30 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: we got married, but he lies about simple things like 31 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: where he had lunch. I will see a receipt that 32 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: says otherwise. He will lie about which one of his 33 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: male friends he was with. He lies about taking a shower, 34 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: getting a pedicure, getting a haircut. He's just a liar. 35 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: I got a call recently from his barber saying he 36 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: left his credit card, and I called my husband and 37 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: asked him what he was doing, and he said he 38 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: was sitting in the barber chair. I hung up on 39 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: him and canceled a card so no one could use it. 40 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: I've told him repeatedly that he does not have to 41 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: lie to me because I'm not going anywhere. How is 42 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: he going to keep this up as he gets older? 43 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: Am I setting myself up for a lot of heartache 44 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: and headaches with this man. Please advise. Okay, my question 45 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: to you is what do you want from us? Because, 46 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: in case you haven't heard this before, payback is a 47 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: bee and that's what's happening here. You're being paid back. 48 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,119 Speaker 1: I mean, were you cheated with him on her? So 49 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: look what's happening now? So yes, to answer your question, 50 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: you are in store for a lot of heartaches and 51 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: headaches with this man. It's already happening. You were cheating 52 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: with this woman's husband, and he divorced her to marry you. 53 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: Now you're concerned he's cheating on you and he's lying 54 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: to you. You'recerned about that. What he's doing, what he does, 55 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: and he was doing it before you with you and 56 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: now during you excuse me, did you think he was 57 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: gonna change when he married you? You thought that? No, 58 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: m you married what He is a liar. You said 59 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: it in the letter. He is a liar, a liar, 60 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: and a cheater. This time he's just cheating on you 61 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: and not with you. Okay, The question is what are 62 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 1: you going to do about all of this? Because clearly 63 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: you're worried and unhappy. Now you might even be feeling 64 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: some empathy for his ex wife. Now you know what 65 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: she went through when he was with you. And no 66 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 1: matter how reasonable you say you are in this letter, 67 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: how are you not going to be checking his phone 68 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,400 Speaker 1: and stuff? This marriage that you're in right now, it's 69 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: not good because he's not gonna stop what he's doing. 70 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,119 Speaker 1: I mean that this is who he is and this 71 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: is who you married. Steve. Wow, just tell me the truth. Really, 72 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: Oh you're concerned about the truth now, all right, Well 73 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 1: let's tell you the truth. I will thank you, Shirley. 74 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 1: I've been married for two years to a man that's 75 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: twenty four years older than I am. I want you 76 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: to keep that information because I'm gonna bring it back. 77 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: Twenty four years older than I am. I was his 78 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: side piece for the last two years of the marriage. 79 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: He got divorced to be with me, and after we 80 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 1: got married, things changed, really things change. I had to 81 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: accept that my husband was not going to be monogamous. 82 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: You know why, because nothing changed. You said, you got 83 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: to accept that things change. What's changed, it's the same, 84 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: it's the exact same. You had now have to accept 85 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 1: that your husband's not gonna be monogamous. He ain't never 86 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: been partly because he was having sexual me when he 87 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: was married. I never signed up agreed to an open marriage. Wait, 88 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: I don't understand you accepted the cheating before. See, but 89 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,679 Speaker 1: you were the cheat. But you were the cheat turn, 90 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 1: not the cheat T. And it was okay as long 91 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: as you were the cheat Urn. But now you don't 92 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 1: want to be the cheat t. See. What's what's wrong 93 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: with you? Lady? What is wrong with you? How you 94 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,840 Speaker 1: don't see this? But I'm wise? Here we go. Now 95 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: we did see this with stupid people throw me. But 96 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 1: I'm wise enough to know that he needs more than 97 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: one woman to make him feel like a king. That 98 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: ain't wisdom. That's called his track record. What the hell 99 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: that got to do with wisdom? It's his track record. 100 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: Like Shirley said, it's what he'd do. I won't say 101 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: that I'm miserable with him because we have a lot 102 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: of fun and we travel to exotic places often. I 103 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: just wish he'd tell me the truth about what he's 104 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: doing on the side. What you need to hear the 105 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 1: truth about what you already know he doing on the 106 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,600 Speaker 1: side because you don't. You don't check his phone and 107 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 1: social media. Kids get kids in social media accounts. Here 108 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: the stupid line. I get in his car, I smell 109 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: perfume on the past the seat belt, and I don't 110 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: see a word. Oh you stupid, Oh you hella stupid. 111 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 1: You get in the car and you smell perfume on 112 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: the seat belt and you don't say a word. That 113 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: makes you a good, reasonable wife, That makes you a food, 114 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: a damn food, And I ain't got number more this 115 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: hold on, Steve, Well, last part two of your response 116 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's 117 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: strawberry letter subject, Just tell me the truth. We'll get 118 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening to the 119 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's 120 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter subject. Just tell me the truth. 121 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: What is with all these truths? I've had my feel 122 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: of truth to Dave will I GQ telling the truth 123 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: to Straba and letter truth us. What happened to shut 124 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: your damn mouth? What happened to that? Don't you know? 125 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: Truth ain't the best policy. Silence is shut show damn mouth. 126 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: Now here we go. I'm mad, no, so hell, let 127 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,160 Speaker 1: me quit trying to fix this up. This stupid ass 128 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: woman didn't married this man just twenty four years older 129 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: than she is, and she was his side piece for 130 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: two years. He got divorced to be with her, and 131 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: after we got married, things changed. Well I guess what 132 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 1: she say changed. I had to accept that my man 133 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: was not gonna be in a monogamous relationship. Ain't nothing changed. 134 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: He wasn't even one before when he was cheating with 135 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: you for two years. It's the same, and I have 136 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: to accept that, probably because he was having sexual me 137 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: while he was married. I never signed up or agreed 138 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: to an open marriage. His ex wife didn't even wow 139 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: see butt night. But you turn it into an open marriage. 140 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: And now you married to the dude that was cheating 141 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: with you, and now all of a sudden you don't 142 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: want it to be open. But that's what he'd do. Well. 143 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say I'm miserable because we have a 144 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: lot of fun. We go to exotic places. I just 145 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: wish he'd tell me the truth about what he's doing 146 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: on the side. Did you hear yourself? I just wish 147 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: he would tell me the truth about what he's doing 148 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: on the side. Everybody nothing, Hattie will Smith, whoa we 149 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:45,439 Speaker 1: all not fitting gone or tabletop, all this here, do 150 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: this here? We just not fit to do this here. 151 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,960 Speaker 1: And I don't know what you expect him to do, 152 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: but he doing what he'd do. I'm I'm I'm a 153 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: most reasonable wife on the planet. I don't check his 154 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: phone social media, and I can get in his con 155 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: smell perfume on the passage to see and I don't 156 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: say a word. What so you stupid and a fool? 157 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: Now listen to me. I know he loves me because 158 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: he chose me over his wife. He didn't choose you. 159 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: His wife got rid of him. You're not listening. His 160 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: wife got rid of him. And he wouldn't got you 161 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: because he know you a fool, and he can do 162 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: what he want to do to you and steal and 163 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: get a wife too. But now, I thought he would 164 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: continue to be open and honest once we got married, 165 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: But he lies to me about simple things like where 166 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: he had lunch. Wait a minute, He was open and 167 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,720 Speaker 1: honest about you in the marriage because he was telling 168 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: you he was unhappy, but he was lying to his wife. 169 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: But he told you he was unhappy. You thought that 170 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: was honesty. Everybody cheats say they're unhappy. Then he lied 171 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: about what friends he would be, lied about, taking a shower, 172 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: getting the pedocute, lie by the haircut, lie by the 173 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 1: credit card. He just did? He just lie live. I 174 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,439 Speaker 1: hung up on him and one time I called it 175 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 1: bobs barbershop, called the house he left his credit card, 176 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 1: I called it barber. I called him and told him 177 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: he left his puerzi. He said he in a barber chair. 178 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 1: I hung up him and cancel the car so no 179 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: one could use it to hear the stupid bro. I've 180 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: told him repeatedly, he does not have to lie to 181 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: me because I'm not going anywhere. Well, I'm not since 182 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: you're not going anywhere, and you know he got side pieces, 183 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: Why do y'all have to talk? He don't have to 184 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: lie to you because you're not going anywhere. And then 185 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: check this out, how is he going to keep this 186 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 1: up as he gets older? Can I go back to 187 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: the top of the letter? Did not you say I've 188 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 1: been married for two years to a man that is 189 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: twenty four years old? And how old his ass got 190 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: to be? Hard time you said how is he going 191 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 1: to keep this up as he gets older? You said 192 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,439 Speaker 1: you've been married two years to a man that's twenty 193 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: four years older than I am. How old his ass 194 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: got to be? He twenty four years older than you? 195 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: And your concern is how is he gonna keep this 196 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: up as he gets older? He already old keeping it up? 197 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: He doing five? Matter of fact, he killing it. Am 198 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: I setting myself up for a lot of heartache and 199 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: headaches with this man? Please? No, you're not setting yourself 200 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: up for a heartache and headaches and heartaches. You're in 201 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: the headache and the heartache. You're in it. You didn't 202 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:50,839 Speaker 1: set yourself up. You arranged it when you thought he 203 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: was leaving his wife for you, when in actuality, he 204 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: got put out by his wife because he got busted. 205 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 1: Then he went straight to you. You know what, Let 206 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: me fix this for y'all. I've haven't told y'all over 207 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:10,439 Speaker 1: and over that we do not give promotions. I've told 208 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: y'all that, So now you think he left her to 209 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: be with you, but you still the side piece. See, 210 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,719 Speaker 1: I told y'all we don't do promotions. Y'all, don't believe me. 211 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: I've been a man my whole life. We don't do promotions. 212 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 1: He didn't leave his wife for you. He left his 213 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: wife because he got put out. Then he went and 214 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: got you and made you his wife. What you thought 215 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: was a promotion, but now guess what you still decide piece? 216 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: Because he knew you accepted second before. Why would he 217 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: make you number one? Now you still number two? Lord 218 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: have mess. I've been telling y'all we don't give promotions. 219 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: Can't be the side piece and me and the wife? 220 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: How far what you wanted? The truth? There's the truth. 221 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,840 Speaker 1: Post your comments, say Steve on today's Strawberry Letter. It's 222 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the 223 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up at forty six 224 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, it's Junior with Sports Talk. Right 225 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Day Harvey Morning Show