1
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:02,920
Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you.

2
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:03,800
Speaker 2: I'm good.

3
00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 3: I'm just here in Whistler, just whistling and whistler.

4
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,320
Speaker 1: Is it snowing or raining behind you? I can't quite tell.

5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,440
Speaker 3: It was snowing and it turned to rain, which has

6
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 3: been the saga of this whole season. It's supposed to

7
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,480
Speaker 3: be freezing temperature so that it's rain, that it's snow,

8
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,639
Speaker 3: not rain. So when the freezing levels are higher and

9
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360
Speaker 3: higher and higher, that means anything beneath that is wetter

10
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,360
Speaker 3: and wetter and wetter.

11
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,800
Speaker 1: Then it just turns to ice.

12
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 3: Yes, it just ruins the snow basically, and then it

13
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,440
Speaker 3: gets cold and it freezes the snow and then it

14
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,320
Speaker 3: turns into ice.

15
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,760
Speaker 2: So basically, a meteorologist snow.

16
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,240
Speaker 1: I mean, just added to your list of skills.

17
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm adding that as well as dog training. I've

18
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,440
Speaker 3: become very regimented in my dog training. Doug has an

19
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,320
Speaker 3: entire situation going. He has a life coach, he has

20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,520
Speaker 3: a dog walker. He goes out three times a week.

21
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,760
Speaker 3: She picks him up at nine and brings him back

22
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,960
Speaker 3: at noon. And then, I mean, yeah, my neighbor was like, hey,

23
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,920
Speaker 3: can Doug and his dog play have a playdate, and

24
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, his schedule is packed during the day.

25
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,560
Speaker 4: I'm like, if you.

26
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,720
Speaker 1: Want Doug, you have to come at night.

27
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,440
Speaker 3: And he's like, okay, I'm gonna come at six to

28
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,120
Speaker 3: pick up Doug because they play so nicely on the

29
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:09,560
Speaker 3: ski hill.

30
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:09,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

31
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,320
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, let me know any other

32
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,479
Speaker 3: nights you want to come get them.

33
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,520
Speaker 1: And social calendar is so fall.

34
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,080
Speaker 3: He has a lot of social activities. I feel like

35
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,160
Speaker 3: a soccer moll. Yeah, everyone wants playdates with him. I'm like,

36
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,760
Speaker 3: we don't do one on ones, so we only do

37
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:23,480
Speaker 3: group playing me.

38
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,959
Speaker 5: He doesn't have time for anything else. Well, you have

39
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,160
Speaker 5: a birthday coming up.

40
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:31,319
Speaker 2: I do. I filmed my ski video yesterday. Oh, exciting

41
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,559
Speaker 2: some special guests in that skip video.

42
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,240
Speaker 1: Oh that'll be new and exciting for this year.

43
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.

44
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,000
Speaker 3: I was actually going to be like fuck it because

45
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,880
Speaker 3: the weather's been so shitty and the snow's been kind

46
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 3: of crappy.

47
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,240
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, fuck the video, and then my

48
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,600
Speaker 2: friends are like, you can't do that.

49
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,280
Speaker 4: You have to do the video. It's tradition.

50
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,120
Speaker 1: It's tradition.

51
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:49,800
Speaker 5: But I also know that you're reading a fun new

52
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,160
Speaker 5: book that I just finished.

53
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,520
Speaker 3: Yes you, guys, we have to tease Kristin Hannah, author

54
00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,520
Speaker 3: of The Great Alone, the book that I gave out

55
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:59,000
Speaker 3: to everyone as my Christmas gift, along with Atomic Habits,

56
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,840
Speaker 3: which is a book I actually read yet, but I

57
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 3: heard great things about and I've read the great things

58
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,919
Speaker 3: about it. I've read everything about the book. But Kristin

59
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,960
Speaker 3: Hannah wrote The Great Alone, and she wrote this new book.

60
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,440
Speaker 3: She wrote The Nightingale. She wrote a bunch of books,

61
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,720
Speaker 3: and the most recent book is called The Women, which

62
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,800
Speaker 3: I am currently reading, and we are having her on

63
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,280
Speaker 3: the podcast soon. So for all of our listeners who

64
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,560
Speaker 3: read The Greade Alone and loved it, please read The

65
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,080
Speaker 3: Women to prepare for our interview with Kristin Hannah.

66
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:22,320
Speaker 4: Yeah.

67
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,120
Speaker 5: It's fantastic. It's like her books are very long, but

68
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,639
Speaker 5: they're like you just consume them because her character is

69
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,639
Speaker 5: super vivid. Yeah. Awesome.

70
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,359
Speaker 3: And we have a special guest today which is one

71
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,920
Speaker 3: of my favorite people. She's a comedian, she has a

72
00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,280
Speaker 3: bunch of it. She has her own podcast too, and

73
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:44,920
Speaker 3: she is a new mother. Please welcome Rosebud Baker. Rosebud

74
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 3: is back for her second well it's the second Coming

75
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:47,840
Speaker 3: of Christ.

76
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:48,160
Speaker 4: Really.

77
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,760
Speaker 3: She is back as a second time guest because we

78
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,360
Speaker 3: loved her so much the first time.

79
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 2: And there's a pretty major update that has happened in

80
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,320
Speaker 2: Rosebud's life.

81
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,240
Speaker 3: If you don't follow Rosebud on so well, you should,

82
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,560
Speaker 3: and you should also watch your comedy specials.

83
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,480
Speaker 2: You have two on YouTube, right.

84
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,880
Speaker 4: I have one on YouTube, two shorter sets on Netflix.

85
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 2: Yeah okay, and then you have one on Comedy Central.

86
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:15,360
Speaker 4: Right. Well, it's on Comedy Central's YouTube. It's called Whiskey Fish.

87
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:20,399
Speaker 3: Anyway, Rosebud, against my better judgment, decided to procreate. And

88
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,840
Speaker 3: when I have known her now for a few years,

89
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,000
Speaker 3: I've had the pleasure of knowing her for a few years.

90
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,680
Speaker 3: She's also a writer on SNL, so that's actually very

91
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:29,680
Speaker 3: much worth mentioning.

92
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 2: She is a married woman.

93
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,560
Speaker 3: Who I met because she's a very talented writer, and

94
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 3: she was talking to me. I think she was opening

95
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 3: for me on a couple of stand updates, and we

96
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,600
Speaker 3: were discussing freezing your eggs, and I was trying to

97
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:46,240
Speaker 3: dissuade you from ever doing such a thing and that

98
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,760
Speaker 3: it was not necessary to procreate because I assumed you

99
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,480
Speaker 3: were like more like me in yeah, in really, because

100
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,440
Speaker 3: I felt like you were on the fence, and I

101
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,760
Speaker 3: always feel like if any one's on the fence, don't

102
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 3: do it with children, Like you should be one hundred

103
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,000
Speaker 3: thousand percent excited. And you were on the fence, and

104
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,320
Speaker 3: I was like, if you have any question, there's no question,

105
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,120
Speaker 3: back it up.

106
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then.

107
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,040
Speaker 4: You and I are different in that way, and that

108
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,120
Speaker 4: I feel like, if you're one hundred percent into having kids,

109
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:20,720
Speaker 4: you haven't thought it through. Hmm, Like if you're one

110
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,239
Speaker 4: hundred percent into it, stop and think for a second,

111
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,000
Speaker 4: you know what I mean?

112
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,560
Speaker 1: But I but valid.

113
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember you saying like, oh, you don't

114
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,320
Speaker 4: have to and I and I felt I was. I

115
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,880
Speaker 4: was kind of like, we'll see, we'll see. And then

116
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,520
Speaker 4: I rosee embryos because I was like, I wasn't sure.

117
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,279
Speaker 4: And then I got pregnant while I had COVID, like

118
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,440
Speaker 4: right after freezing the amber.

119
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,040
Speaker 1: Oh so interesting, got a little frisky while you were sick.

120
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,479
Speaker 4: It was against your better judgment and mine.

121
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, and doctor Frauci's.

122
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,919
Speaker 4: And doctor Frauci's so okay.

123
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,200
Speaker 3: So since then, she's had a baby and she has

124
00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,720
Speaker 3: fallen madly in love with her baby, and I want

125
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,640
Speaker 3: to fucking hear all about it, Rosebud Okay fro, I

126
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,360
Speaker 3: want to hear from everything because I know your pregnancy.

127
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,080
Speaker 3: First of all, your pregnancy looked very uncomfortable for me

128
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,039
Speaker 3: watching you expand like that she was on stage. I

129
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,239
Speaker 3: think up until probably like a week before you gave birth,

130
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,360
Speaker 3: right or was it even closer to your birthday?

131
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,720
Speaker 4: It was? It was not, No, it wasn't a week,

132
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,159
Speaker 4: but it was. I think I was like thirty six

133
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,840
Speaker 4: weeks was the last time I was on stage, and

134
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,039
Speaker 4: then I went until thirty nine weeks, so it was

135
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,520
Speaker 4: like three weeks I was down. But yeah, it sucked.

136
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 3: Okay, So I look at what you did as something

137
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,279
Speaker 3: that like if I were ever to do it, I

138
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 3: feel like I would have a similar experience that you

139
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 3: did because of your attitude towards pretty much everything. Yeah,

140
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:47,320
Speaker 3: so take us through it, take us through the pregnancy,

141
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 3: take us through the news of becoming pregnant and all

142
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 3: of that stuff. I want to know, like what your

143
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,120
Speaker 3: roller coaster of emotions or if it wasn't a roller

144
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:55,839
Speaker 3: coaster of emotion.

145
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,400
Speaker 4: No, it was one hundred percent of roller coaster of emotion.

146
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,200
Speaker 4: And it's an absolute I just to be clear, not

147
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 4: for everybody. But for me, pregnancy was a no less

148
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:10,120
Speaker 4: than body torture that went on for nine months. It's

149
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,680
Speaker 4: bad when it starts and then it gets a little better.

150
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:18,560
Speaker 4: But by the end, I was like, Oh, this is

151
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,159
Speaker 4: what makes it possible to give birth is that you're

152
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:27,200
Speaker 4: so miserable that you're like, I'll do anything to get

153
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:31,400
Speaker 4: them out. Like, that's what makes it possible is just

154
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 4: the amount of physical discomfort you're in. It kind of

155
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,159
Speaker 4: like gives you this willingness to just go to do whatever.

156
00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,599
Speaker 4: You're like, I'll cut it out myself. If this is

157
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,320
Speaker 4: where we're headed.

158
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,320
Speaker 2: You know, which is where you're headed?

159
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,400
Speaker 4: Which is where we're headed. Yeah, So when I found

160
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,960
Speaker 4: out I was pregnant, I was like, oh, well, this

161
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,240
Speaker 4: sort of messes up the plan, you.

162
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,240
Speaker 2: Know, yeah, because Rostbud's career is really on the upswing.

163
00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,359
Speaker 3: You're taking off, you're getting the credit you've deserveed, and

164
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,039
Speaker 3: you only have your whole career ahead of you. So

165
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,120
Speaker 3: also like not great timing for a lot of people's

166
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,159
Speaker 3: mentality in this business, right, people don't want to have

167
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,800
Speaker 3: kids until they're completely situated in their success exactly.

168
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,000
Speaker 2: A lot of people are scared to do yeah, but

169
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 2: not you.

170
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,400
Speaker 4: Well, I was scared.

171
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,280
Speaker 2: I was are you smoking right now?

172
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm vaping. I'm back to BA.

173
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:24,360
Speaker 1: You also couldn't do that while pregnant.

174
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,280
Speaker 4: I decided not to breastfeed because it's not for me.

175
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,400
Speaker 4: I wanted to debate, and I also wanted debate, that's

176
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:36,000
Speaker 4: the truth. And I was like, I've done enough. You know,

177
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,400
Speaker 4: I carried her.

178
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 2: You're sober, you can don't have any alcohol or like addiction.

179
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,880
Speaker 2: You can lean on except for vape.

180
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,680
Speaker 4: Except for this, and so I and the whole time

181
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,280
Speaker 4: that I quit, I was like, people were like, so,

182
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,520
Speaker 4: are you quit for good? And I said, from the

183
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,880
Speaker 4: very beginning of my pregnancy until right now, I said,

184
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,120
Speaker 4: I'm going to go back the second that I can.

185
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 4: And I was true to my word. Yeah good. So yeah.

186
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,040
Speaker 4: I think here's one thing that my attitude has given

187
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,200
Speaker 4: me is like an unwavering faith that whatever decision I

188
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:12,880
Speaker 4: make is the right decision. And I don't care about

189
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,960
Speaker 4: people's opinions about it. I don't. I'm going to do

190
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 4: what I want to do because a happy mom is

191
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,440
Speaker 4: a better mom than a mom that is miserable and

192
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,119
Speaker 4: a martyr. So I am just not I'm not into

193
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,120
Speaker 4: that and that's not the kind of mom I'm going

194
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 4: to be.

195
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,880
Speaker 2: So what was the most uncomfortable part about the back

196
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 2: to the pregnancy? Was it the weight gain? Was it indigestion?

197
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:34,440
Speaker 4: Like?

198
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,240
Speaker 2: What was the part that was just so unbearable?

199
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,640
Speaker 4: It was that the weight of my baby caused my hips.

200
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 4: There's a joint that connects your pelvis in the front,

201
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,120
Speaker 4: and the weight of my baby was such that and

202
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:52,440
Speaker 4: because your ligaments loosen up in pregnancy, my hips actually

203
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:57,559
Speaker 4: split and so it just felt like hit. My entire

204
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,960
Speaker 4: pelvis felt like a barrel of loose bone. So by

205
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,640
Speaker 4: the end of my pregnancy, I truly couldn't walk. And

206
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 4: the worst part about it was that they had no solution.

207
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,280
Speaker 4: I went in and I was like, Hey, it feels

208
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,120
Speaker 4: like my pussy's gonna fall out of my asshole and

209
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,840
Speaker 4: I need something for this, and they were like support, Yeah.

210
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,600
Speaker 4: They said, well, you could just tape your hips together

211
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:28,400
Speaker 4: with this disgusting elastic underwear that's just medical underwear. So

212
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,400
Speaker 4: not only did I feel less sexy than I'd ever

213
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,080
Speaker 4: felt in my life, they also added medical underwear to

214
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,760
Speaker 4: that equation, which made it not the most glowing I've

215
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,480
Speaker 4: ever felt, you know, and you know there are women

216
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,079
Speaker 4: that glow during pregnancy. I was not one of those women.

217
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,960
Speaker 4: It doesn't look good on me, it doesn't feel good

218
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,640
Speaker 4: on me. I fucking hated it from beginning to end.

219
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,840
Speaker 4: But by the time it was over, I was like,

220
00:09:56,679 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 4: this was one hundred percent worth it. I love my baby.

221
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,280
Speaker 4: It took some time. It wasn't a meeting.

222
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,480
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, tell us about that.

223
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,440
Speaker 4: I mean I it didn't take some time to love her.

224
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 4: I loved her the second. It was weird, like I

225
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,240
Speaker 4: would have died for her, but I couldn't tell you

226
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 4: why because she didn't do anything, like she was truly

227
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,480
Speaker 4: like a blob. And it's like having a pet turtle.

228
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,840
Speaker 4: For a while, you're just kind of staring at them

229
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,000
Speaker 4: and they don't do anything, and you're like, did I

230
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,240
Speaker 4: I ruined my life? I ruined my life and I

231
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,040
Speaker 4: don't know what I'm doing and I liked my life before,

232
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,240
Speaker 4: and what have I done? And then one day they

233
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:39,439
Speaker 4: smile at you, and it's like the whole thing changes. Now.

234
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,640
Speaker 4: It feels like I have Seltzer in my veins when

235
00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,160
Speaker 4: I think about her. That's how much I love her,

236
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:51,360
Speaker 4: And I get excited to go home which was not

237
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:55,520
Speaker 4: the case when it was just a husband. Okay, I

238
00:10:55,559 --> 00:11:00,800
Speaker 4: mean it's like, now I get excited. I'm so pumped

239
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,520
Speaker 4: I get to talk to her. She smiles back at me,

240
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,080
Speaker 4: like every day, it's a new thing. But for a while,

241
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,959
Speaker 4: it was really rough. And I was nervous about that

242
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,360
Speaker 4: time because I was like I knew it was coming,

243
00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,880
Speaker 4: Like I knew that when she was here, I was

244
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:21,439
Speaker 4: going to have a real identity crisis that I wasn't

245
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,040
Speaker 4: that nothing could have prepared me for. And so while

246
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,440
Speaker 4: it was happening, even being aware of it didn't help.

247
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,679
Speaker 4: Like I was just like, oh my god. And plus

248
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,600
Speaker 4: I was so raw. You're just an open wound walking around.

249
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,560
Speaker 3: Did you have a natural childbirth or did you get

250
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,320
Speaker 3: an epidural? I mean, I don't know, you're sober. I

251
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,240
Speaker 3: don't know what the rules are. I'll assume you could

252
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 3: get the one time drugs are legally allowed to get

253
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:43,800
Speaker 3: in your body.

254
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:44,800
Speaker 2: Yet that you would take that.

255
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,760
Speaker 4: Opportunity obvious, Okay, I said to the doctor's I don't

256
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,440
Speaker 4: want to push for one fucking second. I said, I

257
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,360
Speaker 4: I'm calling to schedule acy section. I was twenty weeks

258
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,559
Speaker 4: when I called scheduleacy section and they were like, well,

259
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,280
Speaker 4: you could give birth naturally, and I said, I have

260
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,640
Speaker 4: no interest. I want to know when I'm giving birth.

261
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,520
Speaker 4: I want there to be a deadline and I want

262
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,040
Speaker 4: to go in there and I want a full spinal tap.

263
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,720
Speaker 4: I just want you to present my baby like a

264
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:18,199
Speaker 4: bottle of wine and just say here she is. And

265
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,480
Speaker 4: it was really lovely. I mean, I really really loved

266
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,679
Speaker 4: my labor. It was like I went in, I laid down,

267
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,520
Speaker 4: they gave me a baby, and then I was paralyzed

268
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 4: for three days and it was fantastic.

269
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:34,520
Speaker 2: That's perfect.

270
00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:36,600
Speaker 3: That sounds like a procedure I would want without the

271
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:37,840
Speaker 3: end result being a baby.

272
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,080
Speaker 1: Though.

273
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,720
Speaker 3: Yes, you know, like I want to get a spinal tap,

274
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,800
Speaker 3: I want to be in bed in a hospital for

275
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,440
Speaker 3: three days getting drugs and yeah, like all the way

276
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:47,640
Speaker 3: all of that sounds I wouldn't even mind, like a

277
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,920
Speaker 3: cician scar. Yeah, if I had to get that in

278
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,640
Speaker 3: exchange for all of the supplies that they were giving me,

279
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 3: it was worth it.

280
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:58,080
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back,

281
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:02,880
Speaker 2: and we're back.

282
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,560
Speaker 3: So Andy is her husband, and I always find it

283
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:13,960
Speaker 3: very interesting how everyone spouses are surprised by each other's

284
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,400
Speaker 3: reactions behavior and parenting.

285
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,400
Speaker 2: When a baby comes on the scene.

286
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, so are you surprised by Andy? Tell me about

287
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,120
Speaker 3: his reaction and everything.

288
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:27,280
Speaker 4: I'm not surprised, but I mean because it's so it's

289
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,319
Speaker 4: so what you would kind of expect from with our dynamic.

290
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,160
Speaker 4: Like I was so nervous about getting like postpartum depression,

291
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:40,840
Speaker 4: postpartum anxiety, and then he, being so supportive, decided to

292
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,920
Speaker 4: get it for me. And he got the postpartum anxiety

293
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,400
Speaker 4: and was fully checking to see if she was breathing

294
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,319
Speaker 4: every five seconds, was scared to like zip up her

295
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,959
Speaker 4: onesie all the way because he thought it was gonna

296
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,880
Speaker 4: choke her. I'm like, it's this is how they're designed,

297
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,200
Speaker 4: and all of that sounds like totally fine until you're

298
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,600
Speaker 4: putting the baby in the car seat and he's like, well,

299
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,560
Speaker 4: leave it a little loose because it could kill her.

300
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,960
Speaker 4: I'm like, you don't want to like invalidate how he's feeling,

301
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 4: but at the same time, how he's feeling is insane,

302
00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 4: not valid, is not valid, So you're like, what do

303
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 4: I do here? And plus I felt a little jealous

304
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 4: because I was like, this is kind of like my

305
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 4: time to be crazy, Like I have like full carte

306
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,400
Speaker 4: blanche to be insane right now, and you're like taking

307
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,840
Speaker 4: that from me. So I had my own feelings about

308
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 4: that as well, you know where I had to work through,

309
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,240
Speaker 4: Like it's like this asshole.

310
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 2: Is so synthrobbing my postpart of experience.

311
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 3: Yes, and how quickly did you go back to work

312
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,960
Speaker 3: after you had the baby?

313
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,240
Speaker 2: What's your baby's name again, Mino Minno?

314
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 3: I was gonna say Willow, but that's my other friend's baby, okay, Mino, Yeah,

315
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 3: Oh that's cute.

316
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,000
Speaker 2: What's her middle name?

317
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,000
Speaker 4: Baker? Because I was like, if I she's named after

318
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 4: my favorite aunt. And I was like, if I give

319
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,520
Speaker 4: her the name Minno, I can't give her like a

320
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 4: anything after that is like a Wes Anderson movie, you

321
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:09,960
Speaker 4: know what I mean. Like I was like, you can't

322
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:14,160
Speaker 4: do like Minno Penelope. It's got to be something hard

323
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 4: after Minno. So solid, I was like, Minno Baker haynes

324
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 4: Is that's her full name.

325
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,080
Speaker 2: That's a cool name.

326
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,119
Speaker 4: It's yeah.

327
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 2: So what have you discovered about yourself as a mother.

328
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,520
Speaker 4: I guess I'm still kind of discovering it, Like I

329
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,360
Speaker 4: don't really know yet. I'm still figuring that out, I'll

330
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 4: say what I think I'm doing right, which is that

331
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,600
Speaker 4: when I'm with her, I'm one hundred percent with her,

332
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 4: Like I don't look at my phone, I don't mess

333
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 4: with work. I'm just like with her one hundred percent.

334
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,200
Speaker 4: And I love watching her grow up. Like I'm not

335
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:56,120
Speaker 4: someone who like I don't feel sad when she grows

336
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 4: out of something. I'm like excited to see her because

337
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,760
Speaker 4: who she is, and like I don't have this kind

338
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 4: of nervousness that I feel like a lot of parents

339
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:10,720
Speaker 4: have about her growing up. I'm excited. I'm genuinely excited

340
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,560
Speaker 4: for it, and I'm excited to see her become who

341
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 4: she is. On the other hand, I went back to

342
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,960
Speaker 4: work after six weeks, and some people say, like, that's

343
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 4: not a lot of time. To me, it's a lot

344
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 4: of time. I wanted to start using my brain again

345
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 4: for other things besides like changing her diaper. And so

346
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 4: the result of that is, like I do worry all

347
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 4: the time that she's gonna think Andy is her mom.

348
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 4: I am constantly worried, Like I look in her eyes

349
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 4: to see if she thinks I'm like her dad's girlfriend.

350
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? Like it's I feel

351
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:54,080
Speaker 4: genuine anxiety about the time that I spend away from

352
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,160
Speaker 4: her and how that is affecting her, and I worry

353
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 4: about that all the time, Like I keep trying to remember,

354
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 4: like how I felt about this stuff before I had

355
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,400
Speaker 4: a kid, which is like, she's a baby. It's gonna

356
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,920
Speaker 4: be fine. You're her mom, There's nothing that's going to

357
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,240
Speaker 4: break that, like bond. You're good. I just try not

358
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:13,639
Speaker 4: to overthink things.

359
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,359
Speaker 3: And has anything about your behavior since you had a

360
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 3: child surprised you.

361
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:22,239
Speaker 4: No, I mean I am surprised by how much I

362
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 4: love her, Like I was prepared for the stuff that

363
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,680
Speaker 4: is bad, I'm prepared for. I've been sleep deprived, I've

364
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 4: done things that I thought were impossible. Honestly, I've had

365
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 4: a puppy, and that is harder, Like having a puppy

366
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 4: is harder than having a baby. Puppies can run, they

367
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:44,439
Speaker 4: are born knowing how to run, and babies can't. So

368
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 4: the sleep deprivation is tough. But out of the two,

369
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,120
Speaker 4: I'm like, that was probably tougher for us. So it's

370
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 4: just been like amazing to me how much I love her.

371
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 4: I'm like, I wasn't prepared for the good stuff I

372
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 4: really wasn't.

373
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,439
Speaker 2: And so when you have questions already saying like do

374
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 2: you have people to go to? Like who do you

375
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,480
Speaker 2: go to? Do you go to your mom or any friends?

376
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 4: I mean, I talked to Rachel Fine seeing a lot

377
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 4: because Rachel's a comic with a kid. And it's weird

378
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,320
Speaker 4: because I feel outside of comics in a way now

379
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,640
Speaker 4: that I didn't before. But I also feel outside of

380
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,080
Speaker 4: moms in a way that I didn't expect to because

381
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 4: I'm like, you know, I don't get excited about decorations

382
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 4: for Halloween. It's not something that I'm like excited about.

383
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 4: So there's things about like being a mom that I

384
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:36,360
Speaker 4: feel distant from. So I just go to people who

385
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 4: are comics with kids, you know, that I feel close to,

386
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,360
Speaker 4: and there's not a lot of them. So yeah, it's

387
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 4: that there's not a ton of questions that I have.

388
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,400
Speaker 4: The only things that I'm like really concerned about are

389
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,399
Speaker 4: like I'm like, hey, I'm crying more than I used to.

390
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 4: What's that about? And people are like, yeah, that's pretty normal, Rosebud.

391
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 4: It's not like you don't need to be concerned about that.

392
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 4: But I wasn't a big crier before. So that's kind

393
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 4: of odd.

394
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 3: And what about your relationship with Andy? Has that brought

395
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,879
Speaker 3: you guys closer together?

396
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 2: Because you've produced this thing.

397
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,360
Speaker 4: It's brought us closer in a major way. It's challenged

398
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 4: our relationship in a huge way. It's it's very difficult

399
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,439
Speaker 4: at this stage that we're in not to constantly be

400
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 4: fighting about who's doing more. You know. That's like a

401
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 4: thing where you're just like why did this? And then

402
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 4: why did this? And I found myself being like, you're

403
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 4: keeping score, but so was I. You know, I had

404
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 4: like a score I had, I had a tallly of

405
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 4: all the times he'd kept score. So I was like,

406
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,359
Speaker 4: I'm telling him not to keep score while keeping a

407
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,119
Speaker 4: tallly of all the times that he's done it, Which

408
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,080
Speaker 4: is we're both doing more than we thought we were

409
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 4: capable of. And you definitely start to feel resentful about it.

410
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,479
Speaker 4: But you have to you literally have to fight that

411
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 4: urge to like be like it wasn't like this before,

412
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 4: and it's like, yeah, no shit, dumbass, it's never going

413
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 4: to be the same, you know. So that's been tough.

414
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 4: But it also is like I look at him and

415
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 4: I'm like, holy shit, everything that I've made fun of

416
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 4: him for for years, like being so sensitive and so

417
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 4: like caring. I'm like, there's no one in the world

418
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 4: that if I was going to have a kid, I

419
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,880
Speaker 4: chose absolutely the right person advocate with. And also if

420
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 4: I weren't with him, this wouldn't be possible, Like this

421
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 4: would not be possible. So yeah, there's that. I mean,

422
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 4: that's not funny, but it's that's the story, you know

423
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 4: what I mean.

424
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: No, I love it.

425
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 3: I think it's always Yeah, I think it's always so

426
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 3: fascinating how people react to it.

427
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: People always describe.

428
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 3: It as like your heart expanding to this degree of

429
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,160
Speaker 3: you don't even know you have this capacity to love.

430
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 2: I have a new puppy and I'm like, wow, I

431
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 2: didn't know I had the capacity to actually take to.

432
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 3: Walks because my dogs don't fucking walk stand there. I've

433
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 3: never I always have rescues so they're always old quick,

434
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 3: And now I have a nine month old puppy and

435
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: I'm like seeing myself. I'm like, I'm taking him to

436
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 3: the doggie park, Like I would never take them to

437
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 3: the doggy park because.

438
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,960
Speaker 2: They don't do anything at the doggy park.

439
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, Mike and I'm talking about a

440
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 3: dog and I'm like, oh my god.

441
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm my bandwidth.

442
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: Is greater now because if he has such high energy

443
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,200
Speaker 3: and I want to support that. Yeah, I'm like, look

444
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 3: at you cruising in a motherhood for this seventh time

445
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 3: as a dog owner. But I can only imagine, you know,

446
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: that's on a obviously different level. But like I can

447
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 3: only imagine when people talk about your heart expanding and

448
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 3: your capacity to like love someone so much, that's got

449
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 3: to be the best feeling in the world.

450
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 4: It is. It's funny because I used to hear that

451
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 4: all the time, Like before I had kids, I used

452
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 4: to hear, oh, yeah, loving a dog is different than

453
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 4: loving it, And I'm like, it's not, though, I feel

454
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 4: like love is love is love is love, you know

455
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 4: what I mean. Like when I think about my pitbull Alabama,

456
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 4: and there's certain dogs you know that you have like

457
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 4: that like real strong connection with and this was like

458
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 4: my soul dog, and I think about her, and I'm like, yeah,

459
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 4: it was the same level. It was the same level

460
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 4: of love that I feel now that I felt then.

461
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 4: I truly like love them both the same. So I

462
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 4: don't really think it's like a different thing, you know.

463
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 3: Right, you would you could jump in front of a

464
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 3: car for both of them too. I would like your

465
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 3: degree of commitment is the same, right.

466
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. To be honest, it's funny. I was like

467
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 4: thinking about it. It was like a few days after

468
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 4: Minna was born, and I was like walking her across

469
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 4: the street, and I thought, if a car came and

470
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 4: hit us right now, what would what would I do?

471
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 4: And literally my first thought was, well, my body would

472
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 4: turn into metal and the car would flip over. Like

473
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 4: I literally was like, I just that was what I thought.

474
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 4: It like took me a second to be like, oh,

475
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 4: that's not physically possible.

476
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 3: But and what's your SNL schedule these days? Like do

477
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,439
Speaker 3: you did you have to adjust that? Because I know

478
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: you work crazy hours there you all do?

479
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I haven't. I haven't really adjusted the schedule. I don't.

480
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 4: I mean I took those six weeks off, but I

481
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,479
Speaker 4: I work the same hours that I did before. You know,

482
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 4: and I have a nanny. So it's that makes me lucky,

483
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 4: you know.

484
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,919
Speaker 2: Is Mateo your nanny?

485
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 4: Yeah? No, Mateo won't hold the baby. Mateo has come

486
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 4: over so many times and and and just sits next

487
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 4: to the baby, and I'm like, he's like, well, when

488
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 4: she can hold up her head, then I'll then I'll

489
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 4: then I'll hold her. But he's like, it scares the

490
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 4: shit out of me.

491
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 2: Then I'll engauge.

492
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 4: Right.

493
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 5: My dad always says that he's like when they're out

494
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 5: of the slug stage, like six months, like past six months,

495
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 5: he's interested.

496
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: But before that he's like no, no, no, no thanks.

497
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, Honestly, I'm kind of the same. I was not.

498
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 4: I'm not really like a newborn gal. They don't do

499
00:23:57,119 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 4: it for me until their eyes are open and they're laughing.

500
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 4: That's when it gets interesting.

501
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

502
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 3: I mean it's almost pathetic how useless they are in

503
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 3: the beginning. It is defenseless and useless, like it's just

504
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 3: like a blood like they have to be kept alive.

505
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, wow, they're like a slug.

506
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 4: I know, it's crazy. They're not even supposed to be

507
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 4: out of the womb for like another It's like human

508
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 4: beings just can't physically carry a baby for as long

509
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 4: as we're supposed to, which is why they call that

510
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 4: the fourth trimester is like those three months after they're

511
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: born that they're just they're not fully cooked like they

512
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 4: they have to finish cooking outside of the womb basically,

513
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 4: and it shows.

514
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 3: Was your mom there with you and helping you in

515
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 3: the beginning, Yes, my mom, My mom was there.

516
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that was that very helpful to you.

517
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 4: It was so helpful. And at the same time, it's like,

518
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 4: your mom is there, so it's so helpful and it's

519
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,959
Speaker 4: so hard, and then they leave and you're like who

520
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 4: But then you watch them walk away and you're like sobbing.

521
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 4: It's just very complicated, you know.

522
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,880
Speaker 2: Ye, Yeah, your mom is present on my Instagram page

523
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 2: a lot.

524
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 3: I noticed her comments a lot, so we've cultivated an

525
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 3: online friendship.

526
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 4: How does she what does she say?

527
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 3: That's none of your business, Rosebudden, It's really none of

528
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 3: your business.

529
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 4: Is she? Is she so supportive? Is she like, oh.

530
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 3: She's a sweetheart? Yeah, she seems I she's somebody. I'm

531
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 3: interested in her. I love parents. I'm always interested in parents,

532
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 3: and she seems like she's off in the right kind

533
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:29,640
Speaker 3: of way.

534
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, she really is. She's the most earnest person. It's

535
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 4: crazy that I came from her. I'm always just like,

536
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 4: how am I your daughter? She's like a golden retriever

537
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 4: and I'm like the angel of Death and I.

538
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: Know, I know, it's very funny. Isn't that so interesting?

539
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 4: It's so odd to me?

540
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 3: My mother was so shy. My mother was so demure,

541
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 3: she was like ladylike, and she was horrified by me

542
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 3: in my presence.

543
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 2: She was like, what are you are you? Are you

544
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 2: a man?

545
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 4: Like? What? What is that? Like?

546
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 3: She had never seen a girl talk like me, or

547
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 3: act like me, or be so like a loud mouth.

548
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 3: And my mom was always just in like, not disgusted

549
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 3: or repelled, more like shocked than I was of her.

550
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 4: Yes, Like She's like.

551
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 2: How did you come out of me?

552
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't know, bitch, but I'm here

553
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,719
Speaker 3: and let's get down to business. And she was just

554
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 3: I remember she once found something like I guess it

555
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 3: was a hair, I mean, something gross in her salad.

556
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 3: We were at the Olive Garden in New Jersey and

557
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 3: that was already you know, traumatizing growing up by an

558
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 3: olive garden. And when she found the hair in her salad,

559
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 3: I remember calling the waitress over to get rid of

560
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,439
Speaker 3: the salad and my mom was like, no, no, and

561
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 3: I was like, nine, I'm excuse me she found a

562
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 3: hair and my mom was like, no, no, it's okay,

563
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: don't say anything, don't say anything. I was like, I

564
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 3: was like advocating for her. And I realized then I

565
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 3: was like.

566
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 2: Oh god, we are not on the same page at all.

567
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 3: But it's so interesting to see that, Like, I wonder

568
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 3: how that will be with minnow.

569
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 2: You know, she's gonna be a reflection of you and

570
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 2: or the complete opposite of you.

571
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,880
Speaker 4: I know, I wonder about that too. I'm really curious

572
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 4: to find out. My mom and I we went on

573
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 4: you know, I took her to Italy on a trip

574
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,439
Speaker 4: while I was pregnant.

575
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: Yes, how was that?

576
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 4: It was so funny because here I am, I'm like,

577
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,199
Speaker 4: I'm in my second trimester. I'm walking around Italy with

578
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 4: my mother, and my mom is she's a painter. So

579
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 4: she stops at every painting and reads the museum placard

580
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 4: and sort of takes it in and breaks it down

581
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 4: and cries softly cries, and then comes to me while

582
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 4: she's crying and explains the meaning of the painting, right,

583
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 4: And each time I can't summon the feeling each time,

584
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 4: you know, I mean, it's like the Duomo. There's like,

585
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 4: we spent all day in there, and I at the

586
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 4: end of the day, we went out to dinner and

587
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 4: I was kind of like fed up, right, and she

588
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 4: she she was like, what's the matter, and I said,

589
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 4: I was like, it's just, you know, there's not enough

590
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 4: hours in the day for the amount of crying that

591
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 4: you got to do. I can't. And of course she

592
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 4: starts to tear up, and she's like, well, do you

593
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 4: just want me to pretend like I don't care? And

594
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 4: I was like, yes, yes, I want you to pretend

595
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: like you don't care, just for a just for an hour, please,

596
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:19,679
Speaker 4: And so it became like a joke. Each time we

597
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 4: walked by a painting, she'd be like, I mean, who

598
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 4: gives a shit?

599
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, but now look at you.

600
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 3: You're like, karma just landed on your doorstep, because now

601
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 3: you're crying all the time.

602
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 4: I know. I'm like, God, damn it, I've.

603
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 3: Been seeing that happen a lot lately, like karma working

604
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 3: in real time. Like even if I think like a

605
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: nasty thought about someone, something will bite me right away

606
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 3: or I trip right away, and I'm like, oh, I go,

607
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 3: I might I must be so close to the surface

608
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 3: of like especially when it happens to other people too.

609
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 3: I was skiing the other day with this elderly woman

610
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 3: and she was a cunt, and she was like, I

611
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 3: think she was trying to rap. I didn't even want

612
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: to go skiing with her, but a friend of a friend.

613
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 3: And then and then she blamed me, like she was

614
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 3: so unpleasant anyway, I was like, why am I spending

615
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 3: my day with her? And then she started she was

616
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 3: kind of racing me. And this is a woman in

617
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 3: her older sixties, and I'm like, she is she.

618
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: Racing to me right now?

619
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 3: And I'm like, am I Am I racing an elderly

620
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 3: And I started to step it up and I was

621
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 3: like going to race her back. And then I stopped

622
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 3: myself and said, no, no, this is so silly, stop it.

623
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: What are you doing? And then she wiped out.

624
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 3: She wiped out so badly, and I couldn't help but laugh.

625
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 2: I was like that you had that coming. That is karma.

626
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: In a second.

627
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 3: You're sitting here trying to race someone on a mountain.

628
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 3: We're not racing, we're not fucking in the Olympics. We're

629
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 3: just on a regular day. So I kind of I've

630
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 3: been noticing that a lot lately, karma in real time,

631
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 3: and I'm enjoying it even when it happens to myself,

632
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 3: because it's a reminder, like, you know, you don't have

633
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 3: to like even if you have a negative thought about someone,

634
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 3: like you don't have to say it every single time.

635
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: You don't have to emote it, and sometimes it's better

636
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: to leave it inside. So I like it as a

637
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 3: reminder personally, and I like seeing it happen to others.

638
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, although I do like when I have a negative

639
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 4: thought just texting it to someone immediately. I love. I

640
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 4: do love to.

641
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: That's what Matteo is. That's what Matteo is for.

642
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's my receptacle for negative thoughts, I know, or

643
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 3: if I'm if I'm having a moment of shade and froud,

644
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 3: you know.

645
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to share that. He's a good audience

646
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 2: for that.

647
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 4: He's perfect for it.

648
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: I know, he's ridiculous.

649
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 4: Sometimes Matteo will just text me a name and I'll

650
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 4: just write pass.

651
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 3: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back.

652
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: Okay, we're back. All right, Catherine, what the fuck is happening?

653
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

654
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 5: We have some parenting questions well, some having babies questions

655
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 5: because I figured they'd be perfect for you.

656
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 2: Perfect. That's my wheelhouse.

657
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 5: We've got some DNA questions. We've got a whole bunch

658
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 5: of crazy questions. Dating, also dating. Her first question comes

659
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 5: from Janine. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm struggling with a

660
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 5: decision right now. I cannot decide whether or not to

661
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 5: find the identity of my biological grandfather. My father has

662
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 5: wanted to know who he is ever since he was

663
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 5: a boy and found out that my Grandpa was not

664
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 5: his biological dad. My grandmother refuses to tell him. In

665
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 5: a recent twist, we found out via DNA test that

666
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 5: his quote cousin is actually his complete biological sister. He

667
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 5: confronted my grandmother about it and now they aren't speaking.

668
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 5: The problem is my grandmother is obsessed with her image

669
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 5: and her social standing, not to mention, she's a total

670
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 5: bitch to my dad every chance she gets. My father's

671
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 5: half siblings have no idea about any of this. This

672
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 5: has left a huge hole in my dad's life. He's

673
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 5: always been so good to me, especially when I came

674
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 5: out being a lesbian when I was a teenager.

675
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: I really want to find out.

676
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 5: For him, but I don't want to overstep his boundaries

677
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 5: or risk any more fighting than we already have on

678
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 5: that side of the family.

679
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: What do you think I should do, Jinine.

680
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 3: I think you should just go for it. Don't worry

681
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 3: about all the drama. If you don't participate in drama,

682
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 3: you're not part of the drama. Your dad wants to

683
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 3: know where he's from, go help him, and forget about

684
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 3: your grandmother, like that's her own problem. Let her deal

685
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 3: with her own emotions, and you do the right thing

686
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 3: for your dad, which sounds like he wants that too,

687
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 3: So I don't think that's a I think.

688
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 2: That's a no brainer.

689
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 3: I think everyone gets caught up in all the drama.

690
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: You don't have to participate in drama. You can just

691
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 3: do your thing and then extricate yourself from the situation

692
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 3: and let everything. Let the chips fall where they may,

693
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: as they say, Rosebud your thoughts.

694
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 4: I agree. I feel like people's opinions about you are

695
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 4: none of your business, and if you want to help

696
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 4: out your dad, go for it and let the chips

697
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 4: fall where they may. Like you said, like, it's just

698
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 4: just see what happens. You know, you could just sit

699
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 4: back and watch. You could enjoy it.

700
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, sit back exactly, Sit back, get some popcorn, and

701
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 3: just enjoy enjoy other people floundering.

702
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

703
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 3: But also the other thing is like your grandmother's saying,

704
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 3: your grandmother's really protective over her image.

705
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 2: That's no one's problem but hers.

706
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's her right.

707
00:32:57,680 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 2: So don't ever.

708
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: Feed into other people's pretend lives, pretentiousness, or their image,

709
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 3: you know, like that's that is their deal, and they

710
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 3: need to deal with that because the truth is what

711
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 3: the truth is, and that's going to affect them.

712
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: However, it's gonna affect them.

713
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 4: Worst case scenario, what she has to accept who she

714
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 4: actually is at the end of her life. That sounds

715
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 4: like a pretty good payoff to me.

716
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 2: I agree with you, actually.

717
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

718
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 5: The other thing is like I don't think you have

719
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 5: to advertise it, Like, just because you and your dad

720
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 5: are going to find this out, there's already plenty of

721
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 5: secrets that everybody else doesn't know about.

722
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,520
Speaker 1: Like, if you don't want to advertise, they don't have to.

723
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

724
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you're not in the argument, there's nothing to

725
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 3: argue about. Like, as long as you don't subscribe to it,

726
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 3: it's it diffuses, like if someone's yelling at you and

727
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: you're not saying anything back, eventually they're going to walk

728
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 3: away because there's nothing to argue about.

729
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 4: Right agreed?

730
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: Anyway, Wise words from the sagacious Chelsea joy Handler.

731
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 2: Let's move on to the next question.

732
00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 5: Moving on, Lauren says, Dear Chelsea, modern dating is hard

733
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 5: between the apps and meeting in person. It's all fun

734
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 5: and games until it's just the games. I'd love your

735
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 5: advice on when it's time to bring up what someone's

736
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 5: intentions are.

737
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: I know it may seem.

738
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 5: Silly, like I could just be honest and ask someone,

739
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 5: But what I really mean is when you're dating someone

740
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 5: and you see potential but also don't want it to

741
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 5: be just another hookup or friends with benefit situation, how

742
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 5: do you casually bring this up without sounding crazy or

743
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 5: that you're trying to tie them down? And I don't

744
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 5: know if there's an answer to this, but how many

745
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 5: days before you sleep with someone that you see potential

746
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 5: with I'm no prude, but I don't want to be

747
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 5: just another notch in someone's bed.

748
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: Post.

749
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 5: This back and forth with men walking in and out

750
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 5: of my life makes me wonder if I will ever

751
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 5: find someone that will stick around. One guy told me

752
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 5: he's ready to settle down, and then days later I

753
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 5: see him back on the dating apps looking for a

754
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 5: long term relationship and monogamy. The one after him, I

755
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 5: found out was a former cop that's sexually assaulted a

756
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 5: girl and has to register it as a sex offender.

757
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 1: So, as you can tell, dating is quite.

758
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 5: The learning experience, which is why I'd like your advice.

759
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 5: Any advice would be amazing.

760
00:34:58,880 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 1: Lauren.

761
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 4: Hi Lauren, Hi Lauren, Hi, good morning.

762
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 6: How are you.

763
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 2: We're good? Thank you. This is Rose about our special

764
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 2: guest today.

765
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:07,720
Speaker 4: Hi Lauren.

766
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: She's a dating expert, so you're in good hands.

767
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 6: That's perfect. Nice to meet you. Good to see Catherine.

768
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 4: Hi.

769
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 3: Listen, there's a bunch of fucking assholes out there, but

770
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 3: that goes for women and men. And like, the dating

771
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 3: scene is so up and down and you shouldn't follow

772
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 3: any set of rules, is my personal opinion. You need

773
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 3: to listen to your gut and you need to listen

774
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: to like what you're interested in. Also, I feel like

775
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 3: so many times as young women, we are so programmed

776
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 3: to try to discern if the guy likes us, if

777
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 3: the guy wants to be with us. When's the right

778
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 3: time to sleep with him so that he'll speak to

779
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 3: us again and.

780
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 2: We'll still and he won't he'll still respect us. It's like,

781
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: what do you want? What do you like? What are

782
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: you attracted to?

783
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 3: That we kind of marginalize our own feelings in exchange

784
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 3: for what we want to do to please men. And

785
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: I think you have to take it always back to yourself.

786
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: Who do you like? You know, when do you want

787
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 2: to sleep with someone?

788
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 3: There is no prescription of when it's a perfect timing,

789
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 3: because if you meet a guy who's great and you

790
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 3: have chemistry and you both like each other, you could

791
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 3: slip together right away and then spend the rest of

792
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 3: your life together.

793
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 2: Possibly.

794
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 3: There's no like, oh if I wait ten days and

795
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 3: he's gonna respect me more. I mean, I don't buy

796
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 3: into any of that. I think there you know, you know,

797
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 3: when you have chemistry with somebody, and I think setting

798
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 3: your intention as early as you want is fine, then

799
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 3: you're weeding out anybody who's going to waste your time.

800
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 3: You know why you don't have to wait five days

801
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 3: so because you're gonna scare them off. There's a way

802
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 3: to say what you're looking for without being desperate about it.

803
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 2: There's a way to say, hey, how old are you?

804
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 6: I'm twenty eight.

805
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 3: Okay, there's a way to say, hey, I'm twenty eight.

806
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,880
Speaker 3: I've dated a lot. I'm ready for whatever your history is.

807
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 3: I'm ready for something a little bit more substantial. So

808
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure we're on the same

809
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 3: page even before you go out on a date. You know,

810
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 3: it may change after you go out on a date

811
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 3: and they'll say, you know, what they say may not

812
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 3: be true afterward. But all you can do is be honest,

813
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 3: outbound with your and your feelings, and then you're clean,

814
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like, you're not playing games,

815
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: you're not doing anything wrong. Even if the first five

816
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 3: guys you might be interested in aren't reciprocating that or

817
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 3: don't end up being in your life. You have a

818
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 3: clear conscience because you're being very, very direct and kind

819
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:22,720
Speaker 3: of self actualized about what you want, so to speak.

820
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: And I always think that reaps more dividends than anything else,

821
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 3: because then nobody can get confused.

822
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 2: You're clear, then they're clear.

823
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely, No. I think that's really good advice. And

824
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 6: I think I mean, I have been dating a lot

825
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 6: and I like to be very upfront and direct, but

826
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 6: sometimes I feel like, you know, I may get one

827
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 6: response and then their true color show later on. I

828
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 6: just feel like I keep running into these like situationships.

829
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 6: It seems like it's like this modern dating, whether it's

830
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 6: the apps or in person, and it's like it's exhausting,

831
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 6: you know, and that's part of dating. And I get

832
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 6: all of that, but I think it's hard to kind

833
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 6: of find that sometimes.

834
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 4: I think when you are like if you just do

835
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,919
Speaker 4: what if you do what Chelsea does or what she's

836
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 4: promoting you do, which I think she also does in

837
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 4: her personal life. Is like if you just say this

838
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 4: is where I'm at, this is what I want. It

839
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 4: might not you might not be the right person for this,

840
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 4: but this is what I want. And if you're not

841
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 4: the right person for this, maybe we should go separate

842
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 4: ways now. And they say no, no, no, I am

843
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 4: this is what I want. This is you know, because men,

844
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 4: they're a lot of times I've noticed in my own

845
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 4: dating history that they'll lie and say something that they

846
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 4: think I want to hear the same way that I've

847
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 4: bent myself into different shapes hoping that I don't scare

848
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 4: them off. So I think we're all kind of like

849
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 4: programmed to do this to one another. But once you

850
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 4: get that information of like, oh he was lying because

851
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 4: he thought this is what I wanted to hear, and

852
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 4: you you just go, Okay, that's all the information I need.

853
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 4: I can move on to the next one. And you

854
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 4: don't get discouraged by that. I think that's a really

855
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 4: helpful attitude to have, of like, you have time, you

856
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 4: know what I mean, you have all the time in

857
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 4: the world. So to just say, like, all right, Like

858
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 4: when I met my now husband, I was we had

859
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 4: slept together on the first.

860
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 2: Night, I ainal they did ANAL.

861
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 4: We did ANAL on the first night. Yeah, when I

862
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 4: say slept together, it was hardcore anal. And and then

863
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 4: and I said to him like, look, I don't know

864
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 4: if you're the right person for me, but I do

865
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 4: know that I want to get married. So if you

866
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,280
Speaker 4: aren't into that idea, we should start dating other people.

867
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 4: And he was like, well, I don't want to date

868
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 4: other people. And I said, okay, well, then you know

869
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 4: where I stand and you know where I'm at, and

870
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 4: if this gets serious, I just want you to know

871
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 4: I want to get married. So that's where I'm at,

872
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 4: and we can just keep going on as if this

873
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 4: conversation never even happened. But just know that's where I stand,

874
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:02,919
Speaker 4: you know.

875
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: And know that the conversation did happen.

876
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and then it ended up working out. But

877
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 4: like I wasn't even sure that he was the guy

878
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 4: for me when I told him that. I just knew

879
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 4: that that was what I wanted. So yeah, it was

880
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 4: like I had to put my own shame and feelings

881
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 4: about how he would feel about it totally aside. Like

882
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 4: I had to be like, I don't care what your

883
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 4: reaction is to this. In fact, the more honest your reaction,

884
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 4: the more information for me I can move forward just

885
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 4: by watching you react to this.

886
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 6: So I think that's a good way being true to

887
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,399
Speaker 6: yourself and where you stand with things and how they

888
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,320
Speaker 6: react is going to determine you know how or whether

889
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 6: you move forward with them. And it's almost better knowing

890
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 6: it that way than finding out maybe later on when

891
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 6: it fizzles out.

892
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 3: But they also the other thing is is like women,

893
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 3: especially in your twenties and your thirties, before you really

894
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 3: are like fortified in your self worth. I mean, you

895
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 3: seem like you have some self worth, so I like

896
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 3: to see that. But I also would like to say,

897
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 3: like that is a practice. You have to practice your

898
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,760
Speaker 3: self worth, and by announcing to these guys or having

899
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 3: real adult conversations is a constant cementing of your self worth,

900
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 3: saying this is what I'm interested in, and if you're not,

901
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 3: that's fine too, but like, let's just be on the

902
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 3: same page.

903
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 2: And conversely, if the opposite.

904
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 3: Were true, I just had a conversation with a guy

905
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 3: where I'm like, listen, there's nothing serious happening here.

906
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: This is wintertime.

907
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: I like having sex when I'm skiing and a lot

908
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,439
Speaker 3: of fun, and it's over when.

909
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:32,280
Speaker 2: I leave in March.

910
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,919
Speaker 3: And he was like, wow, that's pretty harsh. I go, well,

911
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 3: you can take it as harsh, but that's where I am.

912
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 3: If it's not going to be you, it's going to

913
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 3: be another guy. I didn't say that part to him,

914
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 3: but that's what I was thinking, Like, yeah, you can

915
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 3: sign up for this program or but I'm never going

916
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 3: to be deceptive.

917
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 2: I'm never going to pretend.

918
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, like if it does get serious, great,

919
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 3: but that's not my intention.

920
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to get serious.

921
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 3: So and I think that works in all ways because

922
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: it's just a good reminder to yourself to always say

923
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 3: your truth, especially when dating, when guys can be you know,

924
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 3: these dating sites are filled with tons of assholes, so

925
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: you just have to know that going in. So it's like,

926
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 3: you know, if you get one good guy out of

927
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 3: ten dates, then that's what's out there. You know, every

928
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: ten dates you're gonna find somebody. Oh that's actually a potential,

929
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,399
Speaker 3: but you know, if that's what you're after, that's kind

930
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 3: of what you have to do these days.

931
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 2: And just know that nothing is.

932
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 3: Personal, Like who cares if someone doesn't like you move

933
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 3: on to the next guy. There are millions, billions of

934
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 3: men out there. Yeah, so just keep that and practice

935
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 3: the art of like self respect.

936
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 5: I think also there's an element of separating like could

937
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,800
Speaker 5: this be something in the future and do you eventually

938
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 5: want a long term relationship slash marriage whatever? And being exclusive,

939
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 5: like I think you can find out if that's where

940
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 5: someone's end goal is that they want, you know, a

941
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 5: long term relationship and not necessarily be like we're a

942
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 5: boyfriend and girlfriend. We don't see anybody else right now,

943
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 5: until like you actually feel like you want that with

944
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 5: that person, right.

945
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,000
Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's that's where I think, like what's hard

946
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 6: and you know, whether it's on the apps or just

947
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 6: in person, you know, when you start consistently seeing someone,

948
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,279
Speaker 6: like when do you kind of define the relationship and

949
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,800
Speaker 6: whin do you Whether it's not that I'm trying to

950
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 6: get married tomorrow, but you know, when you finally meet

951
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,839
Speaker 6: someone you would like to, you know, see where things go,

952
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 6: it turns into this when do you have that conversation

953
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 6: and still staying true to yourself. But at that point that's.

954
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:31,439
Speaker 4: I don't think you have to know that they're the guy.

955
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 4: You can also be clear like I'm not even sure

956
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 4: if this is you. You can say like I don't

957
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 4: know if it's you that I'm talking about, but I

958
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 4: know that this is what I'm looking for.

959
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 5: You know.

960
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: Yes, I like that a lot.

961
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're not it, that's okay, I'm not I'm

962
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 4: just having this conversation for me because i want to

963
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 4: be clear about my intentions.

964
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that.

965
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: That's good.

966
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

967
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 3: And also you know, like everyone is always looking for

968
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 3: a timeline, Like it's different for every relationship. When you're

969
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 3: post to you know, sometimes it's mutual. Sometimes it's them,

970
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 3: sometimes it's you, and not trying to control the outcome

971
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 3: of something before it begins is a nicer, easier way

972
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 3: to go through everything, you know, not trying to say, okay,

973
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 3: by six months, I have to be engaged. But this

974
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:18,720
Speaker 3: is like that kind of hard line thinking doesn't allow

975
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 3: for fun and spur of the moment, like a jouis

976
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 3: de vie that you kind of want to implement into

977
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: your dating life. Because you are only twenty eight, you

978
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,839
Speaker 3: could have like three or four loves before you meet

979
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 3: the guy you know you could have, and like, wouldn't

980
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 3: you want that?

981
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 2: I want that for you.

982
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,240
Speaker 3: I want you to have a lot of different guys

983
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,760
Speaker 3: to like experience, so that when you're ready to really

984
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 3: ready to settle down, you settle down. And that could

985
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 3: be your intention the whole time, but it's nice to have,

986
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 3: you know, the more experience you get, the better.

987
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 2: In my opinion, Yeah.

988
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely. I think through dating it's like I'm figuring

989
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 6: out more of the things that I don't want and

990
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 6: honestly more about myself and what I do. So I

991
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 6: think that's a good way to look at it, not

992
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 6: rushing things and just kind of you know, going with

993
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 6: the flow a little bit and having some fun.

994
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and having fun right, Like, some people aren't going

995
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 3: to be your boyfriends. They're just going to be like

996
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 3: a casual guy for two months, and that's fun as

997
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 3: long as you're not you know, it has to end

998
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 3: with this result, Like you can have fun with all

999
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 3: sorts of different people in different ways.

1000
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: I mean, men do it, and you know, I feel

1001
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,279
Speaker 2: like not enough women do that.

1002
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1003
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 2: No, it's not the same standard.

1004
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 4: It needs to be about our pleasure. If they're not

1005
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 4: going to make it their number one priority, then we

1006
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 4: have to, you know what I mean. And I feel

1007
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 4: like we have to anyway, regardless of what they do.

1008
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I spent so many times in my

1009
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:41,879
Speaker 3: twenties and thirties, a little bit in my thirties faking orgasms,

1010
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 3: faking like just pleasing men. I mean, and now I'm like,

1011
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 3: I don't even give a shit if you come, just

1012
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 3: go down on me and we'll talk about it if

1013
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 3: this leads to something else, Like I.

1014
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 2: Am so selfish now I don't even.

1015
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 3: Fucking care, you know, Like that it's a complete role

1016
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 3: reversal of the way I was in my twenties. So yeah,

1017
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 3: just from remember that when you sit down with a man,

1018
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 3: do you like him?

1019
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 4: Not?

1020
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 2: Does he like you?

1021
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1022
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 5: On that first second third date, like you know, ask

1023
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 5: yourself like is he even worth having? The sort of

1024
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 5: like DTR defining the relationship dog with and the answer map.

1025
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 1: You know, on the first second third date and then

1026
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 1: you're on the next year.

1027
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 2: Wow, DTR. That was quick, Catherine. Is that some lingo

1028
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 2: that I don't know about? DTR?

1029
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: The DTR?

1030
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 2: Have the DTR sounds like d M e T D

1031
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 2: five d M e O T which is frog venom.

1032
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: I've been haled have the DTR. Okay, well, we're gonna

1033
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 2: send you off.

1034
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 3: Good luck with everything, and remember self worth, self value,

1035
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:34,840
Speaker 3: self respect, start there.

1036
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 2: And then move on out. Thank you.

1037
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 6: Well, I'm excited you're coming to LA I'm going to

1038
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 6: try to make it out to your show.

1039
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 2: Oh yes, the YouTube theater May eleventh. That's going to

1040
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 2: be a fun show. Yes come.

1041
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 6: Thank you so much for all of your guys' advice.

1042
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 6: I'll definitely keep it in mind as I continue the process.

1043
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: Okay, well, good luck and I'm sure you'll be very successful.

1044
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 4: Thank you, Bye, bye, Laurence, Bye, give me your Doug.

1045
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 3: I want to show you Doug. But he's so fucking

1046
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 3: big I can't even lift him up. I threw my

1047
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 3: back out yesterday taking him to the dog park. And

1048
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 3: then I get to the dog park and there was

1049
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,839
Speaker 3: this guy who's like, there's a massive dog.

1050
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 2: And he's like, hey, is it okay to take my

1051
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 2: dog off leash? And I'm like, well, it's an awfu

1052
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 2: leash dog park?

1053
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 3: So why are you asking? He goes, do you have

1054
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 3: any snacks on you? I go, why what would happen

1055
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 3: if I do?

1056
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 2: I need that full? What's?

1057
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 3: And I said what kind of dog is that? He goes, Oh,

1058
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 3: he's half wolf. I'm like, we're leaving half wolf?

1059
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 2: Fuck off?

1060
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 4: That's so La.

1061
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 2: I'm in Whistler, so oh.

1062
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 4: They have they have half wolves in Whistler and I.

1063
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 2: Don't see wolves in La. Do you Is that allowed?

1064
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 4: I feel like people would find find a loophole out there.

1065
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's actor dogs. You can have I think up

1066
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 5: to a half wolf.

1067
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: I had a neighbor. I'd one neighbor. If you're an actor,

1068
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 1: well the dog is an actor.

1069
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 3: Oh wait, actors got to have wolves, but civilians don't.

1070
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 4: I wouldn't even blink an eye if that was the rule.

1071
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 4: I'd be like that, I does that make sense? Yeah?

1072
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:02,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is illegal to own a coyote.

1073
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,720
Speaker 5: And I also had a neighbor that owned a coyote

1074
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 5: and I was like, wow, looks like they're like, yeah, yeah,

1075
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 5: don't tell anyone.

1076
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god.

1077
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,920
Speaker 2: You should have reported them right away. I have no

1078
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 2: problem telling on people all the time.

1079
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:14,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1080
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:18,959
Speaker 5: Well, our last question today comes from r That's it

1081
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 5: r just our, just our.

1082
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:21,839
Speaker 1: We could give her a name.

1083
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 2: It's Rachel, It's me Remedial, It's me Rose, It's.

1084
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: From rosebud Hi, Chelsea. I actually could be for you.

1085
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 2: Giving yourself advice. You wrote into yourself so you could

1086
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:34,760
Speaker 2: give your self advice.

1087
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 5: I'm listening to your episode with Elise Loanan and she

1088
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 5: just asked you about pushing through your fears. I love

1089
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 5: this idea under most circumstances, but my fear about having

1090
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 5: a second child seems like one that I'm not sure

1091
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 5: is worth pursuing. A little backstory. I got pregnant with

1092
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 5: my daughter in March twenty twenty. Whoops, being a mom

1093
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 5: is all I ever wanted. With all of what twenty

1094
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 5: twenty took from literally everyone, it really cast an insane

1095
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 5: toll on my mental health while being pregnant. After my

1096
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,440
Speaker 5: daughter was born, my postpartum depression and anxiety skyrocketed. I

1097
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,840
Speaker 5: resisted medication at first and was talking to a therapist. Finally,

1098
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 5: after the darkest year of my life, I got on

1099
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:15,720
Speaker 5: medication and really came into my own I still struggle

1100
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 5: here and there, but my daughter is now two and

1101
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 5: a half and I'm having the time of my life.

1102
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: Here's the thing.

1103
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 5: I'm terrified of the idea of having a second child.

1104
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 5: I'd always wanted multiple kids before, no less than three,

1105
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 5: no more than five. What when I read that now,

1106
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 5: I can't believe I ever said that and really thought

1107
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 5: that's what I wanted with all my heart. I feel

1108
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 5: like a completely different person after what I went through.

1109
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 5: Do I accept the realities of my first experience and

1110
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,799
Speaker 5: move forward with a new perspective on my future, or

1111
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 5: do I push through my fears of having a second

1112
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 5: child because I can trust that I can get through

1113
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 5: the hardship I might endure for longer term. Joy I

1114
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 5: hear your voice saying, don't have a child unless you're

1115
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 5: one hundred percent positive. But I'm struggling with knowing which

1116
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 5: of my voices to listen to. Thanks for reading are.

1117
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 3: I don't think having a second child is pushing through fear.

1118
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: When I talk about pushing through fear, I'm talking about

1119
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 3: like daring yourself to like do stuff that you're not

1120
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 3: comfortable with. This fear is actually like based in what

1121
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,319
Speaker 3: your experience was, like you had a reaction after having

1122
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:23,959
Speaker 3: a child. But I do think that having been through

1123
00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 3: it and surviving it, which I know nothing about, I

1124
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 3: want to be very clear, I don't I think once

1125
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 3: you survive something, then it seems a lot more reasonable

1126
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 3: to expect that you will survive it again. So if

1127
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 3: having a child is so important to you, I would

1128
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 3: say go for it.

1129
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't frame it as pushing through your fears.

1130
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:46,280
Speaker 3: I would frame it as getting to the end goal

1131
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 3: of like long term happiness and having the family that

1132
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 3: you even desired many years ago when you wrote down

1133
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 3: how many kids you wanted to have. I think that

1134
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 3: you should go for it because you know what it is,

1135
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,959
Speaker 3: and while it might not be, it may not even

1136
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 3: happen the second time, and what happened to you the

1137
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 3: first time, and even if it does, you survived it.

1138
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 3: So there's really like if you really want the kid.

1139
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 3: That's the question, do you want a second child? And

1140
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 3: if the answer is yes, I would say, go for it.

1141
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: She survived it, and she's got the tools now too.

1142
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 4: You know.

1143
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 1: It's just that evolution and the therapy.

1144
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 2: Rosebud, what about you, God.

1145
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 4: I'm like, that's just like a hard question for someone

1146
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 4: else to answer. I feel like that's such a personal

1147
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 4: choice that I don't know, I truly, because I'm in

1148
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 4: the same position where it's like, I mean, I would

1149
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 4: be I don't want a second kid, but it would

1150
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 4: be terrifying to me if I did want one, it

1151
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:48,239
Speaker 4: would be terrifying to choose to do it. And I

1152
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 4: know what she means by I don't know which voice

1153
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 4: to listen to, because that's how I felt before I

1154
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 4: had my first kid, was I was like, I don't

1155
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 4: it's it scared the shit out of me having a kid,

1156
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 4: and for good reason, it is terrify and life changing,

1157
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,439
Speaker 4: and you do feel like a totally different person. And

1158
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 4: I think if there's anything that I could say, it's like,

1159
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 4: just take a minute to yourself to really work through

1160
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 4: how much you want this, you know, because if you

1161
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 4: really want this and you're just scared. I agree with Chelsea,

1162
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,160
Speaker 4: like you have the tools, you've done it before, you

1163
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,320
Speaker 4: can do it again, and if you don't, you'll find

1164
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 4: that out. But I think it's going to take to me.

1165
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 4: It sounds like a little bit like you're still unsure

1166
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 4: just from the question. So I would say it's okay

1167
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:45,760
Speaker 4: to let to give time time and to just figure

1168
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 4: out how badly you want this, you know, because I

1169
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 4: think that's really what it comes down to, is like

1170
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 4: how badly you want it. So I don't know if

1171
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 4: that's an answer, but it's it's hard to answer a

1172
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 4: question that's like such a personal choice, you know.

1173
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also sit with yourself, whether you meditate or not,

1174
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,720
Speaker 3: sit alone quietly. Like women, we have like a total

1175
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:12,680
Speaker 3: intuition and a total knowing when we actually allow ourselves

1176
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,959
Speaker 3: to like be very still, be very quiet and think

1177
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 3: is this something that you're going to do? And your

1178
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 3: body is going to tell you like you have to

1179
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 3: you know, you really have to kind of get in

1180
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 3: touch with yourself.

1181
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 2: But it's not that hard. We have such strong intuitions

1182
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 2: within ourselves.

1183
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:28,919
Speaker 4: I agree.

1184
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,640
Speaker 3: I would say to like really try to listen to

1185
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 3: yourself and really just like sit with yourself for like

1186
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 3: fifteen minutes every morning, just with your eyes closed and

1187
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 3: thinking about what this means to you and if you're

1188
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 3: ready and if you're ready to take this on, and

1189
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 3: I bet you that you are.

1190
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, And you know, I think if you're not

1191
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 5: ready to move forward right now, you know, like Rosebud said,

1192
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 5: it's not a question that has to be answered today,

1193
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:54,720
Speaker 5: but part of what keeps us spinning is not having

1194
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 5: made the decision. So maybe just like put a pin

1195
00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,800
Speaker 5: in it, be like, you know what, I'm not gonna

1196
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 5: make a decision on this. I'm giving letting myself off

1197
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 5: the hook for the next six months and then like

1198
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 5: literally put on your calendar six months from now or

1199
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 5: three months or a year or whatever. You think, Okay,

1200
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,840
Speaker 5: let's dive into this again. Let's think about this again,

1201
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 5: and you know, give yourself a little bit of a break.

1202
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think with I was like torturing myself with

1203
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 4: the question for so long about whether or not I

1204
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 4: wanted to have a kid, and I think when I

1205
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 4: finally did get pregnant, I thought, well, this is terrifying.

1206
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 4: And while I'm very scared, I want this more than

1207
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 4: I am scared of it, and I wanted there was

1208
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 4: something even about the fear that intrigued me, So I

1209
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 4: was like, I want to go into this just to

1210
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 4: see what it does to me. I want to, like,

1211
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 4: I want to be changed, and I want to experience

1212
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 4: all of this, even if it's horrifying. And that kind

1213
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 4: of makes the fear not something to be avoided, but

1214
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 4: something that you can kind of dive in two and explode.

1215
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 4: You know.

1216
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's well said Rosebud.

1217
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 3: All right, well we're gonna take a break and we'll

1218
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 3: come back to wrap things up. And we're back to

1219
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 3: wrap things up with Rosebud Baker, Rosebud, what do you

1220
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,280
Speaker 3: have to say for yourself after the today's episode?

1221
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 4: Just that I love you and this was fun and

1222
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 4: I can't wait to see you again. It's been way

1223
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 4: too long.

1224
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:30,719
Speaker 2: I know.

1225
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 4: I know.

1226
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get an apartment in New York. I'm just

1227
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:36,120
Speaker 3: waiting for my wrap. Yeah, totally. I tried to get

1228
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 3: one but then someone else got it, so but I'm trying.

1229
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 3: I need to live in New York for sure, so

1230
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 3: I will see you at some point. And I can't

1231
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:43,840
Speaker 3: wait to see you either.

1232
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, you need to come to New York. It feels

1233
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,880
Speaker 4: like everyone in LA's brain is melting. It's so scary

1234
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 4: it guys.

1235
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 2: Really yeah, I agree with that.

1236
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 3: There's a real no, there's a real lack of stimulation

1237
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 3: in La.

1238
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,720
Speaker 4: Something's going on over there. It's dark.

1239
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,280
Speaker 2: It's like Rosebud.

1240
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 3: You are always a delight, Catherine. Thank you everyone who

1241
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 3: called in. Thank you, and thank you to our listeners.

1242
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:06,840
Speaker 3: Good times, good times, everybody.

1243
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 4: Thanks for having you.

1244
00:56:07,719 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 2: Chilse okay, take care of Resbude. Okay.

1245
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,359
Speaker 3: So, Chelsea Handler is my name, and comedy is my game.

1246
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:18,400
Speaker 3: Comedy and therapy. There are my games. I'm sorry I misspoke.

1247
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 3: I have added more shows. I added a second show

1248
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 3: in Vancouver, so I have two shows in Vancouver March

1249
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 3: twenty ninth March thirtieth, I am coming to Calgary, Victoria, Colowna.

1250
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: Then I've added another show in Sydney, Australia on July thirteenth.

1251
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:36,840
Speaker 3: So I have two shows in Sydney July twelfth and thirteenth.

1252
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 3: For other shows in Australia and New Zealand, go to

1253
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 3: Chelseahandler dot com.

1254
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 2: And I've added two.

1255
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:46,600
Speaker 3: Shows in Oklahoma, Norman, Oklahoma on May third, and one

1256
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:50,640
Speaker 3: in Thackerville, Oklahoma, which is May fourth, and then I'll

1257
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 3: be at the YouTube Theater May eleventh and Los Angeles

1258
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 3: with Matteo Laine and Vanessa Gonzalez and Fortune Fimester and

1259
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:58,359
Speaker 3: Sam Jay.

1260
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 2: Those are my updates and no more shows are coming,

1261
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 2: so pay attention.

1262
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,240
Speaker 5: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1263
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 5: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1264
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 5: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1265
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 5: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

1266
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 5: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1267
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 5: com