Speaker 1: Hey, folks, My guest for this episode is comedian Eric Andre.
Speaker 1: You know him from Adult Swims, The Eric Andre Show.
Speaker 1: You know him from his Netflix movie Bad Trip, and
Speaker 1: now he's hosting his own podcast, Bombing with Eric Andre
Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network, which
Speaker 1: you can listen to wherever you get your podcasts. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get into the episode. Eric Andre, Oh yeah, we're on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not a lot of fan fair. You need a little
Speaker 1: you need like a music, you need an interro song.
Speaker 1: I always feel like I try to make the current
Speaker 1: moment enough. Okay, what's been the most persistent thought on
Speaker 1: your mind lately?
Speaker 2: Uh? Persistent thought? I don't know, like the current anxiety spiral.
Speaker 2: I mean, the news is pretty grim right now. I've
Speaker 2: just been watching Middle Eastern snuff footage for uh a week.
Speaker 1: At what point in watching the news does it become
Speaker 1: like less about being informed and more like pornographic of
Speaker 1: your just like kind of getting a hit from all
Speaker 1: the horribleness.
Speaker 2: H man, you really need to like, you need to
Speaker 2: take breaks, You need to sit on the bench on
Speaker 2: the sideline for a second and like breathe. It's grim to.
Speaker 1: The problems of the world.
Speaker 2: Ever, this is also the last thing I wanted to
Speaker 2: bring up, but you said it. What's been on my mind?
Speaker 2: And I have anxieties, and I well, I'm like thinking
Speaker 2: about what's my current anxiety spiral. But like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to touch this topic with a fucking ten foot pole.
Speaker 1: Do the problems of the world sometimes like they're in
Speaker 1: a way a distraction from the problems of your own
Speaker 1: personal life? Do you ever feel that way?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe, But shouldn't we pay attention to the problems
Speaker 2: of the world? Yeah, shouldn't be apathetic?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: I think I think I think we should. But it's
Speaker 1: like it is therapy. I do go to therapy.
Speaker 2: Something that's kind of behavioral therapy or what kind of
Speaker 2: therapy it is?
Speaker 1: It's just like talking therapy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of what type?
Speaker 1: I don't know, if there's a ton enough. It's like
Speaker 1: CBT or anything like that. Do you go to CBD
Speaker 1: CBD therapy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I got Yeah, I got that tremendous idea tremendous therapy.
Speaker 1: Has have you always been yeah? Throughout your life?
Speaker 2: No? Not really. I wish I went throughout my childhood.
Speaker 2: I would have resolved a lot of things that like,
Speaker 2: I like I let fester from childhood into adulthood. I
Speaker 2: really wish I I went to a tiny little bit
Speaker 2: of childhood therapy, but not really. I didn't really start
Speaker 2: doing until I was twenty five. But I regret. It's
Speaker 2: kind of like the biggest regret. I would have solved
Speaker 2: a lot of problems, or maybe not solved problems entirely,
Speaker 2: but how would have had a lot more Uh, I
Speaker 2: would have been had a lot more inner piece in
Speaker 2: my childhood.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've at least like gotten close
Speaker 1: to that the inner piece that you're you're looking for sometimes?
Speaker 2: But there be And mental health is a practice. I think,
Speaker 2: like a light life is nothing but stress and continuous
Speaker 2: bouts of stress and trauma. So I think that you know,
Speaker 2: it's not like you do therapy and then you do
Speaker 2: it enough and then you're just done, because life doesn't
Speaker 2: cease to be stressful so and traumatic. So I think
Speaker 2: I'm a lot better. I think that therapy and exercise,
Speaker 2: I'll say too, are like non negotiable.
Speaker 1: As you've gotten older, has life gotten more or less
Speaker 1: stressful for you?
Speaker 2: I think it's not quantifiable in like that type of metric.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's like more or less. I think
Speaker 2: it's different. I think the stressors of your childhood and
Speaker 2: your teenage years, and your twenties and your thirties and
Speaker 2: your forties and your fifties. I think each each decade,
Speaker 2: each year, each moment comes with its own nuanced set
Speaker 2: of difficulties.
Speaker 1: Do you remember like the time in your life or
Speaker 1: even just like in general day to day, like what
Speaker 1: moments you feel the most happy during.
Speaker 2: It's like the old Dennis Larry joke where he's like,
Speaker 2: there's really only like a few moments to have. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna shittily paraphrases joke because I haven't heard since I
Speaker 2: was ten. I think it's like a thirty five year
Speaker 2: old joke. Uh. He's like, the happiness is only like
Speaker 2: in that first bite of that chocolate chip cookie. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like pure orgasmic euphoric happiness
Speaker 2: is like is in those moments. It's more like mood.
Speaker 2: How's your mood in general? Are you down? Are you anxious?
Speaker 2: Are you Do you feel calm lately? It's been late? Lately,
Speaker 2: lately it's been better.
Speaker 1: Do you have a sort of baseline in mind that
Speaker 1: you typically tend to hover, like not straight to.
Speaker 2: I don't mind anxiety because anxiety is good for performance.
Speaker 2: I mind the amount of anxiety that I have in general.
Speaker 2: So I wish that if my anxiety was at like
Speaker 2: a seven normally, I wish I could just bring it
Speaker 2: down to a four or five in general. Uh, and
Speaker 2: not like get caught in these obsessive loops. But I
Speaker 2: have like pussy footed around taking SSR's my whole life,
Speaker 2: and I think it's just time to at least try
Speaker 2: and then taper off if I don't like it, what
Speaker 2: was it? If they're going to offer some type of
Speaker 2: what was.
Speaker 1: The cause of the pussy footing, because for me, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like the idea of wanting to
Speaker 1: like being of like needing to be on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and and then I think, what is that?
Speaker 2: Is that ego? It has to be ego? But yeah,
Speaker 2: I just like the having to be on something to
Speaker 2: just live life. That feels strange. But we're not in
Speaker 2: a natural world, you know, so we have to come
Speaker 2: up with unnatural solutions to adapt to an unnatural world.
Speaker 1: Why why would you say that it's ego to think that,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to be on that.
Speaker 2: I get, well, that's just me trying to figure out
Speaker 2: what it is. Why, why why have I avoided it
Speaker 2: for so long? And I think my ego says, no,
Speaker 2: you don't need the pill. You can you can do
Speaker 2: it through natural means, through therapy, through exercise, through meditation,
Speaker 2: and I do all that stuff, but I I'd like
Speaker 2: to take it over the finish line with I'd like
Speaker 2: to attempt to take it over the finish line with
Speaker 2: an SSR. Right, if it will help you, and you
Speaker 2: got to like experiment with a bunch of them at
Speaker 2: different doses to see which one works for your brain chemistry.
Speaker 2: But I at least want to do the experiment and
Speaker 2: go all right, I at least tried it, and if
Speaker 2: it works, it works. If it doesn't, doesn't. I know
Speaker 2: people that are like, it saved my life, whether they're
Speaker 2: talking about zoolofpac so well, beutrim, prozic, whatever. And then
Speaker 2: there's people that are like, I hated it. You know,
Speaker 2: I couldn't get a boner, I couldn't jizz. It made
Speaker 2: me feel more depressed. You hear everything, and it really
Speaker 2: is just a crapshoot of experimenting with equing your brain
Speaker 2: brain waves and seeing if you can get them in
Speaker 2: the right balance, and if you can, great and if
Speaker 2: and if the necessaries don't work for you. Then then
Speaker 2: talks them about when you.
Speaker 1: Were when you were a kid, maybe like like a teenager,
Speaker 1: did you feel good and happy most of the time?
Speaker 2: Or were you all I was happy, I was happy,
Speaker 2: but I was anxious. So happy and I was anxious
Speaker 2: and I wasn't. I didn't know how to uh. My
Speaker 2: parents are both neurodivergent and not they were emotions unintelligent.
Speaker 2: They're very intelligent, they're very academic, but they were very
Speaker 2: they didn't have the best emotional intelligence, and they didn't
Speaker 2: go to therapy. And I think they would have both
Speaker 2: benefited from therapy. So a lot of stuff, I think
Speaker 2: some stuff that bothered me. I think I repressed because
Speaker 2: I wasn't I wasn't given the tools or the blueprint
Speaker 2: on how to uh process the emotions. So I wish
Speaker 2: I had gone to therapy, and I wish my parents
Speaker 2: had gone to therapy. But my parents are quite spectro me,
Speaker 2: so I don't even know how much the therapy would
Speaker 2: have helped. But I think they both just are they
Speaker 2: both have their own type of neurodivergence. My dad had
Speaker 2: PTSD from living in a country under a dictatorship and
Speaker 2: escaping at dictatorship, so I think, And it was Catholic.
Speaker 2: He's had ex Catholics repressed.
Speaker 1: What's your relationship like with them?
Speaker 2: Is this the tone of the show? This is a
Speaker 2: good bit.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I'm want I'm I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: finding it interesting. I don't have grim I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't have like bits.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you don't need a bit. You don't need
Speaker 2: a bit, But I don't people want this. We're dressed
Speaker 2: like it is it? Well?
Speaker 5: Is this is? This?
Speaker 1: Is this stuff you've like talked about on the podcast.
Speaker 2: Talking about it. I just do Neil Brennan's podcast, and
Speaker 2: I think that's all I talk. Uh yeah, I heard.
Speaker 2: I don't want to make it like I have some huge,
Speaker 2: huge plight tour, you know, escaped the camera rouge or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've talked about this extensively yet,
Speaker 1: but I saw that you just did ayahuasca in Peru.
Speaker 1: How you feeling?
Speaker 2: I feel good? Yeah, I feel good.
Speaker 1: What was what was the experience?
Speaker 2: Like it was cool. I've done different psychedelic therapies. I've
Speaker 2: done mt A therapy, ketamin therapy, siliceven therapy, I've smoked
Speaker 2: code venom, buffo, various toad venom. So it reminded me
Speaker 2: a lot of those various therapies. I like the MDMA
Speaker 2: therapy the best because it was very customized. I'm one
Speaker 2: on one with a therapist. We work together in talk
Speaker 2: therapy a lot before we do an MDMA session, So
Speaker 2: that was very like bespoke and nuanced and really got
Speaker 2: to the heart of a lot of issues versus ayahuasca,
Speaker 2: which was great, but it was more group therapy, less pinpointed.
Speaker 2: But you know, all and even non psychedelic therapies all
Speaker 2: they all lead to the same. They all help you
Speaker 2: access stuff you typically suppress or repress, which there's a difference.
Speaker 2: Repression is more hardcore than suppression.
Speaker 1: Did you form any legit bonds or friendships with the
Speaker 1: other people and in your group?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of like being a camp. You know
Speaker 2: everybody like it was a good group. It was a
Speaker 2: lot of like very sweet people.
Speaker 1: Do you make it like at this point in your life,
Speaker 1: do you make a lot of new friends?
Speaker 2: No? Making friends is harder the older you got. Making
Speaker 2: friends is harder the older you get. I think that's
Speaker 2: why people get married. Yeah, it's just like I just
Speaker 2: need like one friend, and it's my spouse and then
Speaker 2: eventually my kids. Because I'm too tired to make new friends,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna start talking to just some random guy.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you've got like a solid.
Speaker 2: Time I'm drinking less too. I think like it's easier
Speaker 2: to make friends in your twenties because you're just drunk
Speaker 2: all the time. Sure, I just don't recover from alcohol
Speaker 2: that well, and it makes me gain weight, like fucking
Speaker 2: instantly booze in my twenties at dinner because I had
Speaker 2: them tabolism. But so I've kind of gotten shy, yeah,
Speaker 2: in my old age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that a little bit too bit shy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you think I'm more reclusive and shy? I don't
Speaker 2: like it?
Speaker 1: Have you ever?
Speaker 2: I want to.
Speaker 1: Like the persona that you have publicly. Do you think
Speaker 1: do you ever like feel a pressure or anything to
Speaker 1: like match that when you meet people in real life?
Speaker 2: No, I don't feel pressure at all. I Uh, I
Speaker 2: think it's pretty clear I'm doing shtick on my show,
Speaker 2: and you know there's something for my birthday. I go crazy.
Speaker 2: There's time, there's times where that you know that persona
Speaker 2: is a part of me. I just not like that
Speaker 2: twenty four hours a day, do.
Speaker 1: You, But it comes out in your personal life at
Speaker 1: some points at least.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it's how I joke around my friends. That's
Speaker 2: what I think everybody's comedic pov is. It's like, how
Speaker 2: did you joke around in the cafeteria in high school?
Speaker 2: And can you turn that into a career. That's what
Speaker 2: I think a career in comedy is.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like your sense of humor now is
Speaker 1: still pretty like solid to what it was when you
Speaker 1: were fifteen?
Speaker 2: Exactly the same? Yeah, exactly the same. I use jokes
Speaker 2: that we would come with my friends who have nothing
Speaker 2: to do with comedy now. I remember my friend Franklin
Speaker 2: and my friend Andrew. We would joke around. They were
Speaker 2: like my first writer's room. And Franklin has his PhD
Speaker 2: in music composition and Andrew plays piano. They have nothing
Speaker 2: to do with comedy, comedy, writing, nothing, but they were
Speaker 2: like the funniest guys I knew. And I'll still use
Speaker 2: jokes in conversation with stuff we came up with when
Speaker 2: we were like fourteen thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old. Are
Speaker 2: you still foundational?
Speaker 1: Are you with those guys?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah?
Speaker 1: Are they stoked?
Speaker 2: They if we don't live in the same town, so
Speaker 2: I don't I don't get to see him as often
Speaker 2: as I would like to. But yeah, and it's one
Speaker 2: of those things you don't. I won't talk to him
Speaker 2: for like years, and then we get on the phone
Speaker 2: and then we joke around like we're like fifteen years
Speaker 2: old again.
Speaker 1: Are they stoked to see like a representation of like
Speaker 1: your guys's collective sense of humor, like share and commodified.
Speaker 2: To the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. I hope.
Speaker 2: So they seem like.
Speaker 1: They're you want to take a phone call, Sure, I'd
Speaker 1: love to. Let's see we got How.
Speaker 2: Are these in general? Are they pretty aggressive?
Speaker 1: You said? Are they aggressive?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like do people like get upsets?
Speaker 2: Or are they just antagonistic?
Speaker 1: Let's find out. I don't think no, these No, these
Speaker 1: people are an antagonistic Hey Jackson.
Speaker 4: Oh shit, no fucking way. I'm I'm so sorry if
Speaker 4: I get a little loose. I'm super fucking excited.
Speaker 2: What's going on? Jackson? I love that name. It's like Coultrane.
Speaker 2: It just a through the room. Jack what's your last name?
Speaker 4: No, yep, I get yeah, funny enough England.
Speaker 2: Jackson in England. What a powerful name.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good.
Speaker 2: Great name. Yeah, even Jackson, England.
Speaker 4: At my college. At my college, whenever I professor, he
Speaker 4: would forget my name. And I used to live in Jacksonville,
Speaker 4: And so I told him like, where was the state that?
Speaker 4: Where was the city I used to live and that
Speaker 4: is my name? And it took him like three minutes.
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's fucking Jacksonville.
Speaker 2: And wait. And he taught English and he didn't know
Speaker 2: your name was. He talked English and Jacksonville. He couldn't
Speaker 2: remember Jackson, England.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, I live in I'm in broadcast television, okay.
Speaker 2: I was in Bellising, just to bring it on home, Jackson.
Speaker 1: What's what's up?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 1: Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: us about today?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 7: I have.
Speaker 4: I'm very conflicted right now with whether or not I
Speaker 4: will be an asshole if I do not remind somebody
Speaker 4: about plans that we've had.
Speaker 2: Well, are you dating with somebody or is this just
Speaker 2: a pal.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 4: So it's a I'm going to give you, like the
Speaker 4: very base level of what I can explain about my
Speaker 4: relationship to this girl. So we met on a dating
Speaker 4: app and we went out on a date. We really
Speaker 4: liked each other, and like, there's also some other things
Speaker 4: with it, but we hung out plenty times. She had
Speaker 4: to move to Tampa, and there's a whole lot of
Speaker 4: things that like are very mixed messages, Like I really
Speaker 4: liked her, but you know, she probably didn't want to
Speaker 4: date me because she knew she was going to be
Speaker 4: in Tampa. But that that was all like a few
Speaker 4: years ago. So now I live in Daytona and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, I really like haunts and I really like
Speaker 4: Callow me Hornit. So I'm like, oh, you know, since
Speaker 4: you live in Tampa, let's do Hallow Scream. And we
Speaker 4: plan to do that. But then she was like, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm just gonna go to Hollow Stream with
Speaker 4: my dad real quick. And I was like, oh, you know,
Speaker 4: that's super cool, like you think of the Hallow Scream,
Speaker 4: But then she hated it. She was like she text me,
Speaker 4: She's like, oh my god, I'm so fucking miserable. Right now,
Speaker 4: like I can chase by people in chainsaws and in
Speaker 4: my hand, I'm like, oh shit, because you know, I
Speaker 4: really want to do this hunt with her, but because
Speaker 4: I don't want her to be alone. But that's just
Speaker 4: one piece of it. And I'm sorry if I get
Speaker 4: like a bit confused with where the story is just
Speaker 4: because I'm going a million miles for hour, you know.
Speaker 2: Well, Well is the larger issue though, that she's not noncommittal,
Speaker 2: and she's not she's flaky.
Speaker 4: Yes, So that is a problem that I've kind of
Speaker 4: had with her in general, because it's not like this
Speaker 4: is the first time we've tried to me. I've tried
Speaker 4: to plan out something with her and it is kind
Speaker 4: of sell through.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she doesn't live in the same town right.
Speaker 4: No, she she didn't give me her exact location, but
Speaker 4: she does go to Tampa University. And she doesn't want
Speaker 4: me to drive Daytona.
Speaker 2: You're in Daytona, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. It
Speaker 2: sounds tough, man, you know, long distance is tough. And
Speaker 2: she seems like she's got ah. She doesn't seem to
Speaker 2: be have a she seems like she has one foot in,
Speaker 2: one foot out. I personally would would would play a
Speaker 2: cool give her some space, let her come to you
Speaker 2: a little bit if it's gonna happen, But probably I
Speaker 2: would probably cut and run.
Speaker 1: And just if you met this person this before.
Speaker 2: They've been twenty dates. You said that you went in
Speaker 2: twenty dates.
Speaker 4: No, we I talked to my mom about this and
Speaker 4: she did mention you went on one date, but the
Speaker 4: rest were just hang out like there's.
Speaker 2: No you've hung but you've hung out with it multiple times.
Speaker 4: Yes, we know each other. It's not like this. We
Speaker 4: only met one and then she had to move down.
Speaker 4: We've met and we've hung out many.
Speaker 5: Times after that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. She sounds like she's kind of
Speaker 2: not well, like kind of one foot in, one foot out.
Speaker 2: I would Yeah, I would either let her you know,
Speaker 2: if you love something, said it free, just leave it
Speaker 2: alone and let her come to you if it's going
Speaker 2: to happen. But I think if it's going to happen,
Speaker 2: she'd be into it and it'd be easy to make plans.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like shure to get off the popet,
Speaker 2: I think got I think you gotta get back on
Speaker 2: that app and give the Roulett wheel another spin. Personally,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I don't know, it thinks because it sounds
Speaker 2: like you like her, but she sounds like she's in
Speaker 2: a bit of a transitional phase in her life as well,
Speaker 2: and she's done the distances makes everything anmare. So it's oh,
Speaker 2: cut and run. Personally, it's kind.
Speaker 5: Of weird, yeah, of course.
Speaker 4: And plus there is also the so I my whole
Speaker 4: family is a big fan of halleen Hornites, and so
Speaker 4: we go pretty much every year for a.
Speaker 5: Couple of years.
Speaker 4: And so I'm going with my family and I'm like, hey,
Speaker 4: you know, because we tried to do the Hellow Scream
Speaker 4: but then she went with the dad. But then I'm like, hey,
Speaker 4: you know, would you want to go to halleen Hornite?
Speaker 4: And I did invite her before she went to Hallow Scream,
Speaker 4: but because she said yes to it, like she said, yes,
Speaker 4: I'm down. You know, I know a couple of your
Speaker 4: family members, you know, I would be down to do that.
Speaker 4: And here is where I think is the reason why
Speaker 4: I called you guys, is because like she's kind of
Speaker 4: like a big, like kind of spontaneous person. I try
Speaker 4: to remind her like, hey, you know, are you still
Speaker 4: down to go with me and my family on the twentieth.
Speaker 4: But then when she responded, she kind of gave me
Speaker 4: like a vague answer, like he said, oh, sorry, I
Speaker 4: just saw this.
Speaker 1: That's kind that's kind of that's what you were talking
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Sorry, just saw this is always bullshit. I've been super busy.
Speaker 2: It is always bullshit. Like that's a red flag. Oh sorry,
Speaker 2: just saw this. It is like I don't believe it.
Speaker 2: I've texted that to women I've dated, and I don't
Speaker 2: believe it when I'm saying it.
Speaker 1: At what does happen?
Speaker 2: Sometimes I have a problem with my it's not a problem,
Speaker 2: but like I'll check my text on the I message
Speaker 2: on my laptop on my phone, and sometimes like a
Speaker 2: bunch will come to my laptop and I'll they'll they'll
Speaker 2: be it'll be as if I read them whether I didn't.
Speaker 2: So sometimes that happens. But if it's somebody you're actually
Speaker 2: interested in, uh, it doesn't really happen.
Speaker 1: Also, Jah, I would I would whatever happens here, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't take it as a personal thing upon you. You know,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a that's another Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Can't take it personally. You don't know what people people
Speaker 2: are going through and and and oh, of course you
Speaker 2: know there's many fish in the sea. And why don't
Speaker 2: you date somebody who lives at the same town as you.
Speaker 2: I think it's like hard enough to make a relationship work,
Speaker 2: let alone make make it work with hundreds of miles
Speaker 2: between you.
Speaker 1: Hey Jackson, before we go, it's your favorite Halloween character?
Speaker 6: Ah?
Speaker 5: Fuck, you're you're?
Speaker 4: You really gave me just a tough question.
Speaker 2: How old are you? Actually?
Speaker 4: It's a group of characters I am. I just turned
Speaker 4: twenty two days ago.
Speaker 2: Oh, and how old is she? She's seven years old. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you guys are like young man. Everybody's young and awkward
Speaker 2: at that age, so don't don't don't stress. Everybody's awkwardness
Speaker 2: will slowly through the years diminish. But that's a young,
Speaker 2: awkward age for dating for everybody. And you watch like
Speaker 2: movies and you think everybody's all suave and smooth, but
Speaker 2: everybody's like clunky and awkward at that at that time
Speaker 2: because everybody's figuring themselves out. So don't take it personally,
Speaker 2: but yes, sorry, what's your favorite Halloween character?
Speaker 4: I it's a group of characters that am absolutely fascinated with.
Speaker 4: Killer clowns, from Outer Space.
Speaker 1: Time, did you play the video game that just came out?
Speaker 4: I it's it's not out yet. It's I'm on the
Speaker 4: I'm supposedly on the beta list.
Speaker 1: Use that as your next dat idea. Have her come
Speaker 1: over and you guys can play the beta of the
Speaker 1: new Killer Clowns from Outer Space game.
Speaker 4: Oh hell yeah, but yeah, it's It's one of my
Speaker 4: favorite characters. I just bought a new funk of pop
Speaker 4: when I was at fucking Walmart today. I'm super excited
Speaker 4: about that.
Speaker 2: Jackson. You need a gallon in your life where you're like, hey,
Speaker 2: you want to go to Halloween hornit? And she's like, hell, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's go. Cool, I'll pick you up tomorrow. Great. That's
Speaker 2: how the conversation. It should be easy. It should just
Speaker 2: be flowing, not like oh sorry I just saw this.
Speaker 2: Uh fuck that shit. You don't got time for that shit.
Speaker 2: You need to just be like, yo, what's up? You
Speaker 2: know it's like your friends. You can just hit up
Speaker 2: your friends, Yo, you want to go to this, and
Speaker 2: they're like yeah, they're great, I'll pick you up. Cool.
Speaker 2: Peace needs to be easy, it needs to just flow.
Speaker 1: The people in your life should make your life easier,
Speaker 1: not harder.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. The people that mind don't matter. The people
Speaker 2: that matter don't mind.
Speaker 1: Like that Jackson's I think I fuck her Jackson.
Speaker 2: She's a fucking backstabber.
Speaker 4: All right now, I've listened to a lot of your shows,
Speaker 4: so I know, like not to kind of say, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, thank you. Good advice if somebody like keeping
Speaker 4: you at like an arms reads like, oh you know
Speaker 4: I could do this, but you know I can't do
Speaker 4: this exactly, don't do that. If somebody really wants to
Speaker 4: do something with you, they will want to do something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. That's who you want to be with. Ultimate anyway.
Speaker 2: You want to just be with somebody that's like, yo,
Speaker 2: what are you doing nothing? You want to get pizza? Yep,
Speaker 2: that's it. Not like, oh yeah, but I got this.
Speaker 2: It's really busy this week. If you hear busy, if
Speaker 2: you're the word busy, I'm really busy this week. Bye,
Speaker 2: Because if you're if you know, if they want to
Speaker 2: hang out with you, they'll make time. They'll prioritize you.
Speaker 2: Everybody's busy. Give me a fucking break. Yeah, no problem.
Speaker 1: English have aggressed that.
Speaker 6: I am, thank you man.
Speaker 3: Love it.
Speaker 5: Both of you love you body.
Speaker 2: You hear a shotgun? Sound of it?
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, most.
Speaker 3: Call just commit suicide right at the end of their call,
Speaker 3: and showy we send someone high send on this show
Speaker 3: is pretty high, the highest in the podcast.
Speaker 1: I like it. I like what you said. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's a I don't know, I'm feeling like I
Speaker 1: I also, I'm trying to get to a point where
Speaker 1: like I can set that I don't know if you'd
Speaker 1: call it a boundary or whatever you'd call it, where
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't want to deal with somebody
Speaker 1: who's like being flaky or or yeah.
Speaker 2: It's not a good sign. Then they're they're not interested.
Speaker 2: You just got to be like cool, don't take it personally,
Speaker 2: just be like, hey, it's all good, and you just
Speaker 2: got to be like I'm fucking rad peace because you
Speaker 2: don't like you have a good old time with a hunk.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hello, Dylan, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 2: What's up? Man?
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, what's going on? Hey?
Speaker 2: You good? What's hack? Let's crack a black and how
Speaker 2: can we help you about your question? Talk to us,
Speaker 2: you silly little.
Speaker 5: I gotta I gotta be honest. First of all, Lyle
Speaker 5: big fan. I wanted to come to the show in Oslo,
Speaker 5: but it was between you and a concert, and yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm sorry about that. And Eric and Andre Big Show
Speaker 5: of of course, the Eric Andre show and also the movie.
Speaker 5: I loved it.
Speaker 1: Thanks doing was the concert fun?
Speaker 2: So yes, what's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Made me to move back to my parents and I'm
Speaker 5: pretty embarrassed about that.
Speaker 2: Why is that?
Speaker 5: I don't know. I guess it's like young man thing,
Speaker 5: like you want to do my parents proud, you know.
Speaker 5: I want to pay my taxes and make the big
Speaker 5: money and have the pretty wife and all that stupid
Speaker 5: ship you know I got. I went to the doctor
Speaker 5: last week and I yeah, of course, but I went
Speaker 5: to the doctor last week and I got diagnosed with
Speaker 5: burnout syndrome. Are you are you aware of what that is?
Speaker 2: No? What's up?
Speaker 5: Well, it's basically, uh, but because I got it because
Speaker 5: I was an abusive relationship, and it's basically that you're
Speaker 5: not able to work anymore like before. So I'm basically.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that sounds awesome. I don't want to work anymore.
Speaker 5: I'm on sick leave right now.
Speaker 2: That's great and sick. I'm sorry that you're going through that,
Speaker 2: and you know, we take the time to uh you know, mentally,
Speaker 2: uh regroup. Sorry that you're going through that. Man, that sucks.
Speaker 2: I've been in abusive relationships. It sucks.
Speaker 5: It is what it is.
Speaker 1: How are you spending your days now that you're not
Speaker 1: doing anything.
Speaker 5: Or problem is like with burnout, it also like sucks
Speaker 5: out all the juice out of things that you used
Speaker 5: to like. So I don't know, I'm guess. I guess
Speaker 5: I'm playing a little bit of video games here and there,
Speaker 5: and I try to get through the day not being
Speaker 5: as positive as as possible. But it's hard. In a
Speaker 5: car accident recently as well.
Speaker 2: Jesus when it rains important you have a friend group
Speaker 2: you can lean on. Do you have a group of
Speaker 2: friends you can Are you getting You need sunlight, you
Speaker 2: need exercise, you need you need you need to walk,
Speaker 2: go for a walk. You need exercise, you need therapy.
Speaker 2: You need a friend group. You got to go out,
Speaker 2: make eye contact with people. A dog would help you.
Speaker 2: Gotta be you have a I have a heartbeat in
Speaker 2: the house with you. You have to have like another heard. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's good. Are you getting out? Are you getting sunlight?
Speaker 2: Are you walking? Are you getting exercise.
Speaker 5: I'll try it. I'll try to, but it's hard to
Speaker 5: find motivation to do anything that's not negotiable.
Speaker 2: No, that's not negotiable. You have to you have to
Speaker 2: get the blood pumping, sure fire away to stay in
Speaker 2: your depression. If you're not exercising, you don't have to
Speaker 2: train for the Olympics. I'm talking just going for a
Speaker 2: twenty minute walk or something, getting sunlight on your face.
Speaker 2: Twenty minute walk. Don't be on the phone the whole
Speaker 2: walk unless you're listening to music that's making you happy.
Speaker 2: But that's like, you know what your body is designed
Speaker 2: to do. Millions of years of evolution went into that design.
Speaker 2: So you have to do that because that's a surefire
Speaker 2: way to stay in your depression. Coffee helps to.
Speaker 1: What was your routine like before you move back home?
Speaker 5: What what a game? Say again?
Speaker 1: What was your routine like before you moved back home?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Has it changed at all? Or were you kind of
Speaker 1: if you're dealing with the same thing before that. You
Speaker 1: sound like you're out of breath right now.
Speaker 5: No, yeah, I'm pretty much because everything is.
Speaker 2: Can you reach orgasm right now right now on the call?
Speaker 5: I'm not sure. I can you know.
Speaker 2: We would We would all our callers to masturbate until
Speaker 2: they reach orgasm. I think would be therapeutic.
Speaker 1: That would be the first that I know of of
Speaker 1: somebody masturbating on the phone on the show.
Speaker 5: On this show, I can assure you that both my
Speaker 5: hands are up in the air as we speak.
Speaker 1: Hey man, you're all the way in Norway, live your life,
Speaker 1: do whatever you want.
Speaker 2: And you're masturbating my rubbing your genitals on a piece
Speaker 2: of salami with no hands.
Speaker 1: You can do that, You know that thing where you
Speaker 1: can like just with your own mind, like for yourself
Speaker 1: to get harder.
Speaker 2: Come with you.
Speaker 1: That'd be a good hobby to learn while you're in
Speaker 1: your mom's base.
Speaker 2: I heard that's actually possible, and you're gonna do it
Speaker 2: for us tonight. No, Dylan, I'm just trying around. But
Speaker 2: you gotta Uh, there's nothing wrong with moving back with
Speaker 2: your parents. I actually think it's stupid that we leave
Speaker 2: our parents. Uh that's like, uh, the current system. But
Speaker 2: I don't think that's actually the prob What we're what
Speaker 2: we're designed to do, or is we're designed to hunt
Speaker 2: and gather any egalitarian bands of all generations. I actually
Speaker 2: I think our parents would live longer if we stayed with.
Speaker 5: Guess my biggest is I guess the biggest enemy is
Speaker 5: my own pride, because I want to make them proud
Speaker 5: in my own way. But I know they're proud of
Speaker 5: me for simply being a good person. None, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 5: take that pressure off your hand, with the hand that
Speaker 5: I'm delt.
Speaker 2: Take that pressure off yourself. But man, don't be so
Speaker 2: hard on yourself. Take this time to regroup. Do things
Speaker 2: that make you happy. Get some hobbies. But you gotta
Speaker 2: be amongst your friends. And you gotta get out of
Speaker 2: the house. Get off the screens, get sunlight, get exercise,
Speaker 2: go to therapy at least once a week, if not
Speaker 2: two or three times a week. And uh, you gotta
Speaker 2: you gotta get out of the house and and be
Speaker 2: with friends and do stuff that brings you joy. Take
Speaker 2: a pottery class or something, or taekwondo or some ship
Speaker 2: or go go camping.
Speaker 5: Fall in love for sounds nice.
Speaker 8: It's quite erotic, yeah, you know, Jackson English, it could
Speaker 8: be quite erotic.
Speaker 2: It's erotic. Yeah, there you go. You can masturbate in
Speaker 2: the ceramics, you create.
Speaker 1: You could do a you could create like a clay flashlight.
Speaker 2: There you go, then all your problems will be solved.
Speaker 1: I think we did it. Yeah, real quick?
Speaker 2: How is your.
Speaker 7: Is your?
Speaker 1: Is your relationship with your parents all good? Like living
Speaker 1: with them and ship? Like? Are they Are they cool?
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, it's yeah, it's good. I mean it's it's normal,
Speaker 5: like we we run into each other and get annoyed,
Speaker 5: but we're family. You know it's normal.
Speaker 2: Do your parents still make love?
Speaker 5: I heard them one time, so yeah. Apparently.
Speaker 2: How was that? That was a long night? Huh?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I said my told to my dad like at
Speaker 5: the breakfast table, had fun last night, and he just
Speaker 5: laughed it off.
Speaker 1: I respect you having the balls to bring it up.
Speaker 1: I would not, uh, Dylan, Man, I hope, I hope.
Speaker 1: I hope some of.
Speaker 5: This yeah, because I was like, man, I was like, guys,
Speaker 5: you need to stop doing this this loudly? Did I
Speaker 5: want to sleep?
Speaker 1: Mhm?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Were they just having missionary style vaginal penetration or were
Speaker 2: they doing kind of lingis.
Speaker 5: Camer was not working that night?
Speaker 2: Could you tell via the sounds of what sexual position
Speaker 2: they were in?
Speaker 5: I don't even want to imagine that those your eyes.
Speaker 2: Have imagine it.
Speaker 1: They do have more open attitudes over there in Europe
Speaker 1: towards watching their parents.
Speaker 2: I fucked both my parents in Norway.
Speaker 1: That's where you got to do it.
Speaker 2: I did that customs Viking ship. Yeah, that's right, Dylan.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: Don't be so hard on yourself. And I'm gonna show
Speaker 5: my parents an episode of Eric Andre Show and tell
Speaker 5: them this man gave me a therapeutic advice.
Speaker 1: That Hey, take care Dyan, see Dylan, take care of y'all.
Speaker 5: Thanks for taking Nicole.
Speaker 2: That's Dylan is one of the most famous mass shooters
Speaker 2: in history. Hey, Philant, I feel good until you asked
Speaker 2: me that question.
Speaker 1: Really, that's like me out it's like.
Speaker 2: You, because I was like, does it look like I'm
Speaker 2: not doing so?
Speaker 1: No? I just I have I I I that was
Speaker 1: that's more of a reflection on me than on you.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, No, I I wanna. I was wondering whether or
Speaker 1: not you were doing good, not because you seemed like
Speaker 1: you were not doing good, but because I wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure you're doing good. I feel great, Okay, No,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like good.
Speaker 2: Why look at your teeth. Yeah, your teeth stand out
Speaker 2: with the green.
Speaker 1: Doude do you do I do? They look nice?
Speaker 2: They're great?
Speaker 1: Thank you? You take another call?
Speaker 2: Is it just calls like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we can we can.
Speaker 2: Do you have like a breakdown like a Jerry Springer
Speaker 2: breakdown at the end of it?
Speaker 1: Not really, I mean, I mean, I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I have post call thoughts.
Speaker 2: But you got to come off like you're the expert, right, No,
Speaker 2: not at all, not at all. It's your it's through
Speaker 2: your point of view, so you've got expression.
Speaker 1: Not even not even really I try to you know,
Speaker 1: when I when I do it, when it's just me,
Speaker 1: it's like I I prefer I mean, even when I
Speaker 1: have a guest on, like I I prefer to be
Speaker 1: talking as little as possible, especially if like people you know,
Speaker 1: have things that they want to say, you know, because
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I mean, look with with Dylan,
Speaker 1: like living in his mom's basement. It's like, dude, I
Speaker 1: started doing the show in my mom's basement. Like I
Speaker 1: was doing this in my mom's basement for like a
Speaker 1: year and a half. I don't think that there's any uh,
Speaker 1: you know what, what's the shame. I don't think there's
Speaker 1: any shame in living with your parents. And also, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you ever looked at those like graphs
Speaker 1: of like of like the amount of time you have
Speaker 1: with your parents, and it shows like ninety percent of
Speaker 1: it is gone by the time you like move out
Speaker 1: of the house. So it's like it's a great thing.
Speaker 2: Living with your parents. Yeah, I actually think it should
Speaker 2: be more normalized a sense a source of shame.
Speaker 1: I think in I don't know what country exactly.
Speaker 2: Only left my parents because I had enough of Florida
Speaker 2: and I wanted to see the rest of the country where. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I was in suburban Florida. There's nothing out there.
Speaker 1: You're Jewish, right, Yeah? Sick? So sick was the theme
Speaker 1: of your bar mitzvah.
Speaker 2: Not that Jewish. My mom didn't have a bot metzvah either.
Speaker 2: I'm from like a long line of like Cammie, socialist,
Speaker 2: atheist Jews.
Speaker 1: Did you grow up at around a lot of other Jewish.
Speaker 2: People, Yeah, for Bookerts on Florida.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, Okay, it's.
Speaker 2: The it's the the Zion of Florida.
Speaker 1: Are your parents in like one of those like Jewish
Speaker 1: retirement homes.
Speaker 2: Uh no, my dad died last year. My mom is, Uh,
Speaker 2: my mom is. She's in a retirement community, but not
Speaker 2: like not like an old folks home. She's just in
Speaker 2: like a fifty five plus community the whole.
Speaker 1: Like, would you be able to track like what your
Speaker 1: personality like?
Speaker 2: Does it?
Speaker 1: Are you sort of both your parents? Do you think
Speaker 1: you're kind of more one than the other?
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think I'm both. Sometimes I think I'm neither.
Speaker 2: Do you have siblings older sister? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is your sister anything like you?
Speaker 2: Uh, somewhat, yeah, but someone she doesn't. She's not like
Speaker 2: loud and extroverted. She doesn't party, she doesn't drink. She's
Speaker 2: a bit of a teetotaler. She's very academic. But in
Speaker 2: some ways we're similar. In some ways were different.
Speaker 1: Do you have a good relationship with her? Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1: She still like do you how Jewish? Like do you
Speaker 1: go to the services for like yum kipoor and Russia
Speaker 1: Shana and stuff like that?
Speaker 2: Nothing? One time I asked my mom, I go, Mom,
Speaker 2: it's I was like in my early twenties. I go, Mom,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fast for young kipor she goes, what why?
Speaker 2: And I go I we're Jewish, I don't know. Aren't
Speaker 2: we supposed to fast and reflect? She goes, no, no, no, no, no, yeah,
Speaker 2: if you're hungry, you eat.
Speaker 1: But my mom, my mom would cry tears of joy
Speaker 1: if I told her I was fasting for young Oh
Speaker 1: my mom has no.
Speaker 2: No. My grandparents, like my mother's parents.
Speaker 1: Nobody was into it.
Speaker 2: Nobody was into the rituals.
Speaker 1: Really.
Speaker 2: In fact, I think they disliked the rituals. I'd be like, Mom,
Speaker 2: we should do a pass over dinner. She's like, huh why.
Speaker 2: She never was, she'd never be aware of what holiday
Speaker 2: was whenever. And then I remember when I was like
Speaker 2: a teenager, kind of coming of age, finding my identity.
Speaker 2: I was like, Mom, we should go to school, we
Speaker 2: should go to we should go to temple. She was like,
Speaker 2: have you ever been to Temple before? I'm like no.
Speaker 2: She goes, There's no place on earth more boring than
Speaker 2: sitting through its service in Temple. And then I went
Speaker 2: to a Burmitz when I was twelve years old, and
Speaker 2: just the temple part of the barment, so not the
Speaker 2: party part. I couldn't keep my eyes open. And she
Speaker 2: leaned over and she was like, you want to do
Speaker 2: this every weekend. I was like, no, She's like I'm
Speaker 2: telling you. He's like, there, you don't have to prove
Speaker 2: yourself to your tribe by sitting through a book of
Speaker 2: five thousand year old fairy tales.
Speaker 1: There's the thing I could never get into Temple because
Speaker 1: there was never like even you know, it feels like
Speaker 1: in other religions, there's like an energy to it and
Speaker 1: there's like a you know, even in the ones where
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, I'm being saved by Jesus and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those are the newer religions.
Speaker 1: In Judaism, it never tools. There's never like a why
Speaker 1: are we doing this? Why are we saying these words
Speaker 1: right now?
Speaker 2: It's fairy tales written by cavemen five thousand years ago,
Speaker 2: and a lot of it has to do with hygiene
Speaker 2: from five millennia ago. Also, it's fucking insane and twisted.
Speaker 2: I try to read Genesis in Quarantine. It's like written
Speaker 2: by lunatic so like incredibly sex just incredibly homophobic and
Speaker 2: punishing at okay, slavery.
Speaker 1: It's it's rough that bar mitzvah that you went to
Speaker 1: Did you get to go to the party part?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, I was that thank god. I didn't know
Speaker 2: the party part was coming. It was my first bar Mitzvah,
Speaker 2: and I thought it was like, this is the whole
Speaker 2: thing and they're reading from the fucking Sea Scroll and
Speaker 2: I was like, this is this is quite boring. This
Speaker 2: is I thought it would be way more fun from
Speaker 2: what I heard from my friends. And then when I
Speaker 2: got to the party party.
Speaker 1: Your friends told you that school would be fun.
Speaker 2: They told me bar mitzvahs would be fun.
Speaker 1: Oh, there we go, and.
Speaker 3: They are the party parts rat but the shool part
Speaker 3: is knock back a Shirley Temple or two.
Speaker 2: I drank man of Schevitz. They had a bunch of
Speaker 2: manischevids out and I downed like a couple of little
Speaker 2: thimbles of it. I was like, hell, yeah, I'm a badass.
Speaker 1: There was one bar mitzvah where my friends and I
Speaker 1: would take the balloons on the thing and like inhale
Speaker 1: the helium and it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, take early whippets.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't even know they got you high. I just
Speaker 1: thought it would change.
Speaker 2: Your voice, you know. I was listening to Howard Sir
Speaker 2: in a while ago, and he had he said the
Speaker 2: funniest thing he goes. If anybody ever invites you to
Speaker 2: a passover dinner, run for the fucking hills because it
Speaker 2: is so long and so boring. If you do an
Speaker 2: actual to do the whole thing, the whole thing, yeah,
Speaker 2: fucking watch out they do before you go to because
Speaker 2: you're gonna be starving. Do you like if you wait
Speaker 2: through the whole thing. I've done, like the very short version.
Speaker 2: I've done the speed round and that was fine.
Speaker 1: Do you like masa?
Speaker 2: I love Manza group on Matsa. I would just like
Speaker 2: lather butter on Manza and wolf down.
Speaker 1: When I was a little kid, my mom makes this
Speaker 1: manza I had in a while, but half coffee, half chocolate.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, it's pretty good. You know, it was good.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this place exists anymore. When he's
Speaker 2: very the Jewish Japanese place, Jewish Shalom Japan, Shalom Japan,
Speaker 2: they would have They had a jewet, They had a
Speaker 2: Monza ball Ramen soup that was fucking awesome. And the
Speaker 2: guy who directs my show Key Tao is Jupanese. Really yeah,
Speaker 2: so we would go there and function it up.
Speaker 1: It's still around, I don't know, but it was awesome.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's arrived quarantine, that's it's worth
Speaker 2: checking it out. But it's a rad it's a rad fusion.
Speaker 2: Shalom Japan, Shalom Japan. Okay, I'm gonna check that out.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Hey, is this Candy?
Speaker 7: Hey?
Speaker 1: How's it going good? How are you hanging in there?
Speaker 2: Candy?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Wow, I've never met somebody under the
Speaker 2: age of seventy named Candy. Is your name Candy?
Speaker 7: No, it's Candy.
Speaker 2: Candy's on your birthday of it. Yes, it's a bit
Speaker 2: of a stripper name.
Speaker 7: That's a new flapper.
Speaker 2: But I I didn't even mean that as a joke.
Speaker 2: I didn't even mean that as a joke. I meant that,
Speaker 2: like just at phase value. Oh, okay, why don't you
Speaker 2: agree to ship? No, there wasn't an it wasn't an insult.
Speaker 2: There wasn't a joke. Sex work is real work. Candy, Candy, Cane,
Speaker 2: Candy Cane Lane.
Speaker 7: That's that's me.
Speaker 2: I know, I know you've heard every joke about your name,
Speaker 2: but I've never met a Candy so young. I'm assuming
Speaker 2: here reading Candy.
Speaker 1: The only Candy I know is Candy Kong.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That is you don't know? Can you know the Donkey
Speaker 1: Kong people, the Donkey Kung people, Donkey Kong people, the
Speaker 1: designers like the No No family. Candy Kong is not
Speaker 1: a designer of the Donkey Kong's. Donkey Kong's. I think
Speaker 1: girlfriend or situationship is candy.
Speaker 2: They're not. They're not at all.
Speaker 1: They're not Donkey finds polyamorous significant other.
Speaker 2: Okay, Candy, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 7: Nothing, I just got home from work. I am a
Speaker 7: truck driver over the road. I live on my truck
Speaker 7: Monday through Friday. What Yeah, it's uh hard work, but
Speaker 7: someone's gonna do it, right.
Speaker 2: You ever fall asleep at the wheel?
Speaker 7: No, that has not happened. Never good.
Speaker 1: Do you ever get really high and drive?
Speaker 2: No? Nope to the long time to answer that, Candy, Candy,
Speaker 2: truck drivers have the best speed. You guys have the
Speaker 2: best myth.
Speaker 1: I always forget that. That's illegal.
Speaker 2: They're crushing adderall Monster energy drinks wild.
Speaker 7: Mine might go to Red Bull.
Speaker 2: Yeah, red Bull. They're all on uppers.
Speaker 7: Where we're a litteral machine machine.
Speaker 2: That's wild.
Speaker 1: What's what are you? What are you hauling?
Speaker 2: Can I drink or with this man. It's toxic. This
Speaker 2: is what killed the original. You have about a left
Speaker 2: fucking wizard of os.
Speaker 1: You do, it's yeah, there we go. Wow, that's pretty good.
Speaker 7: You didn't get a drinking I'm not watching the stream much.
Speaker 2: I'm drinking water. So what's going on, Candy? How can
Speaker 2: we help you with your life?
Speaker 7: Oh? I just I didn't think I would get this far,
Speaker 7: to be honest.
Speaker 2: So your life is perfect?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you're fully self actionized on the higher
Speaker 2: hierarchical scale of needs.
Speaker 7: But I mean I just yeah, I mean I make
Speaker 7: good money and I have fun when I can when
Speaker 7: I'm not working.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You sound like a chill ass ve Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I'm in a Vegas tand of this month theovon.
Speaker 2: Nice. You sound like you got life figured out.
Speaker 7: I'm just chilling, to be honest, Like, I don't like this.
Speaker 7: I can't. I can't stress. I don't time for stress.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, do you are you a gambler at all?
Speaker 1: Do you plan on gambling in Vegas?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 7: Of course? Oh I love to gamble.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you were going to be getting another call
Speaker 1: from hotels facts. What's your budget? How much? How much
Speaker 1: you planning on spending.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw up, Candy.
Speaker 5: Oh, oh, I don't.
Speaker 7: I don't spend more than like five to seven hundred.
Speaker 1: That's pretty that's that's that's that's a solid amount of
Speaker 1: house money.
Speaker 2: Candy. You're a fucking.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Let me, you're a fucking wild child. You ever do
Speaker 2: wheelies in that truck? You need truck tricks?
Speaker 7: No, no, no, no no, there are no not really
Speaker 7: many tricks you can do.
Speaker 2: You could do some trick, yeah, back it up, flip
Speaker 2: it around a.
Speaker 1: Little, do a little fun tray, flip off some stairs. Yeah, pop,
Speaker 1: shove it fifty fifty little little three three wheel motion. Dude,
Speaker 1: taking a truck in the bowl would actually be pretty fire.
Speaker 2: Why don't you drive that truck on stage with THEO Vaughne.
Speaker 2: Give him a fucking surprise of a lifetime. Right with
Speaker 2: all he has a drink anymore, he's got to get
Speaker 2: his adrenaline from.
Speaker 1: Something, Candy. I have a question. If your life is
Speaker 1: going very well, do you have any advice for me? Oh?
Speaker 7: I didn't see it was going very well. I just
Speaker 7: said it's all right. Any advice for you? No, No,
Speaker 7: I think you're doing everything cool. I mean, you know,
Speaker 7: just show I know you're like sad a lot. I
Speaker 7: noticed that from like previous I listened to you in
Speaker 7: the truck pre like older episodes and stuff.
Speaker 1: That's why did I Why did I see? What did you?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, it's all right, it's all right, it's all right.
Speaker 1: That's helpful information for me to have. What was it
Speaker 1: about me that made you that made me seem so sad?
Speaker 7: Oh no, you would say it all the time. Oh no,
Speaker 7: you were like you kind of sounded depressed sometimes you
Speaker 7: would say it, yeah, yeah, it's a little down today.
Speaker 1: The therapy is all for me.
Speaker 5: How can I be?
Speaker 1: How can how can how? How? How? How do you
Speaker 1: think I could be less sad?
Speaker 7: You know what helped me was smoking less weed? Oh man,
Speaker 7: smoking less? For real?
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you drinking more? Monster?
Speaker 1: Are you a weed guy at all?
Speaker 2: I know we don't hit me, right, that's not my
Speaker 2: drug doing. When I was a kid, like a teenager
Speaker 2: thirteen years old, I loved it, but I don't know
Speaker 2: it turned on me.
Speaker 1: I always forget that weed is like not good for you.
Speaker 1: Like there's all these like Reddit posts that every day
Speaker 1: try to convince you that it's like healthy medicine and whatnot.
Speaker 1: But it's yeah, good to be inhaling something all the time.
Speaker 1: And I know my memory is fading a little bit.
Speaker 2: Oh, I just don't like the way it makes you feel.
Speaker 7: Candy, can you remember your dreams?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I had a dream that I went with Optimus Prime
Speaker 1: and John Lovetts to their house where they were roommates,
Speaker 1: and they were both very religious and invited me to
Speaker 1: pray with them.
Speaker 7: Nice. Was it my truck?
Speaker 2: Candy's Candy just crashed your truck to the new three
Speaker 2: sixty dome in Las Vegas?
Speaker 1: Candy, is anything you want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer before we go?
Speaker 7: No, stay chill. You guys are awesome.
Speaker 1: I love you, Eric, I'll try to be less sad
Speaker 1: by Yay? Do you ever like? I assume people come
Speaker 1: up to you a lot and they're like, Eric, you
Speaker 1: must be so high to come up with all these ideas.
Speaker 1: Do what do you? What do you usually say in
Speaker 1: response to that?
Speaker 2: What drugs they? What drugs are you on? Right? I
Speaker 2: just said coffee? Just coffee, coffee from high. I don't
Speaker 2: want to work, Like, could you imagine being in a
Speaker 2: writer's room on acid? I'd be like, ah, glued to
Speaker 2: the floor.
Speaker 1: I was listening to, uh, like a George Carlin interview
Speaker 1: and he said he'll like write sober and then edit high.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, all, okay, that kind of makes sense.
Speaker 2: That makes sense. But he used to do so much cocaine.
Speaker 2: He would stay up for like seven days straight and
Speaker 2: start hallucinating people that weren't there, and then his heart
Speaker 2: exploded when he was like forty one, he did.
Speaker 1: He died pretty young.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he in his seventies, but he had two massive
Speaker 2: heart attacks because he was such a coke addict. Him
Speaker 2: and Robert Williams and Richard Pryor, they were fucking great mountains,
Speaker 2: scarface mountains of cocaine.
Speaker 1: I don't get cocaine. It's just so it only it
Speaker 1: only really makes my heart beat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cocaine and weed are my two drugs that I
Speaker 2: don't like. Those are not my drugs.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite drug?
Speaker 2: Mushrooms? I think yeah, whippets. Mushrooms. Whippets near may say
Speaker 2: next is good. They can't do it all the time.
Speaker 2: It's very addictive and bad for you.
Speaker 6: Eric, I am here, hello there, Yeah, not too much.
Speaker 6: Oh wow, that's a high compliment.
Speaker 2: M hmm.
Speaker 6: Call in on this special occasion, not too much, you know,
Speaker 6: never called in before, but decided today was the day.
Speaker 1: What made today today?
Speaker 6: Oh? Mostly Eric Andre being on the air.
Speaker 2: He How you doing, Eric? Eric? You know what I'm saying. Player, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Candy yapping your way previously flap flap flap in that kid.
Speaker 6: Yep, you know, got to do it sometimes.
Speaker 2: I feel you, big daddy.
Speaker 6: So so just to get right to it. If you
Speaker 6: could have a dinner party with any three historical figures,
Speaker 6: who would they be? And what would you serve for dinner?
Speaker 2: You're a wild cat? Is that the question for me?
Speaker 6: Or you? I mean, I was hoping you'd answer.
Speaker 2: Tevy Dahmer told Bundy and John Wayne Gacy and they'd
Speaker 2: be eating me. They'd eat me out. Did eat my
Speaker 2: booty hole?
Speaker 6: Didn't that one?
Speaker 2: Like a fried circle at Calamari?
Speaker 6: Would you introduce any chaotic elements into the meal?
Speaker 2: Nope? Nope. Would be the most polite meal you've ever seen.
Speaker 2: I like that the three most prominent cerial killers eating
Speaker 2: me is not chaotic enough.
Speaker 1: Really, I don't know how that could be made. More
Speaker 1: more than napkins.
Speaker 2: We would use chopsticks.
Speaker 6: I'll have to see if I can get dollary three
Speaker 6: to show me what it looks like.
Speaker 1: Brother.
Speaker 6: Well, uh, last thing, what's your your most memorable whippet experience?
Speaker 2: No, that's a good question.
Speaker 6: I have you have you ever? Have you ever seen
Speaker 6: people like smuggle a tank of nitrous into like a
Speaker 6: festival and bury it and dig.
Speaker 2: It up later in the ice? Yeah? And ice coolers. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I saw a video of that. But uh, my most
Speaker 2: memorable one I did xenon one time. Xenon is an
Speaker 2: element the stars, like the Champagne of whippets.
Speaker 1: It's very expensive scientology.
Speaker 6: God, that did you where you get it?
Speaker 2: There's a guy that was like, it's not illegal. So
Speaker 2: the guy was, uh, but they usually just sell it
Speaker 2: in bulk because it's just used for industrial used to
Speaker 2: make light bulbs. But I found like a rogue xenon guy.
Speaker 2: But he's he's a wall I can't the last time
Speaker 2: I membered ow Dan. Yeah, that was quite memorable. I've
Speaker 2: also totally like fished out once before, where like my
Speaker 2: brain completely ceased to I cease to be alive for
Speaker 2: like a second.
Speaker 1: What's your most memorable whipped experience?
Speaker 2: Eric?
Speaker 6: Oh, gosh, you know a lot of the time, I
Speaker 6: feel like I actually don't experience much of an effect.
Speaker 6: Maybe I like don't inhale or something somehow. But so
Speaker 6: we do this thing though at the whippet parties where
Speaker 6: we get a globe and spin it, close your eyes,
Speaker 6: move your finger up and down it, and see where
Speaker 6: you stop it on the globe, and then you have
Speaker 6: to describe what you imagine that place to be like
Speaker 6: while hitting the name.
Speaker 2: You are eccentric, dude, I like this guy, You're wild
Speaker 2: eccentric man. Do you remember?
Speaker 1: Do you remember? Do you remember what you like? Do
Speaker 1: you remember what you landed on and what you described
Speaker 1: it to be?
Speaker 6: Like? Oh gosh, you know, I'm gonna have to review
Speaker 6: the tapes. I do have them all video. Yeah, there's
Speaker 6: actually a lot. It hasn't dropped yet. I think there
Speaker 6: was a blize in there. I'd imagine it was green.
Speaker 6: But beyond that, I think it's kind of a spur
Speaker 6: of the moment thing before you come down.
Speaker 2: Are you on?
Speaker 1: Did you just do a whip it?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 6: People think that, but I swear I have not done
Speaker 6: that today.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you're an opium.
Speaker 6: I might I might do one, well, you know, who
Speaker 6: knows anyway, I don't know.
Speaker 2: We've hit We've hit a wall. We've come to screeching
Speaker 2: all that.
Speaker 1: I was thinking. I was thinking I would invite Abraham Lincoln,
Speaker 1: John's will, John Wilkes Booth, and Abraham Lincoln's wife, and
Speaker 1: I would make them do the thing.
Speaker 6: Mmm.
Speaker 2: Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth, Harvey Oswald.
Speaker 1: Oh, and I would, And I would serve JFK.
Speaker 2: Sleigh Honey about a surprise.
Speaker 6: Guess maybe Jack Ruby?
Speaker 2: Who is Jack Ruby? Shot leer? Uh oh yeah, yeah, baby,
Speaker 2: bring them all. It's hypothetical.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: I think I'm good, But thanks so much for your time.
Speaker 6: All right, thanks Eric, Right, have an excellent one.
Speaker 2: Okay, you too. He was like a character from Napoleon Dynamite.
Speaker 1: He was kind of talking like he was asking a
Speaker 1: question at the comic com panel.
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 6: Like he like it.
Speaker 1: He seemed like he was asking a question like a
Speaker 1: comic con panel. Like he had like that voice that
Speaker 1: you use when you ask a question, like a nerdy guy,
Speaker 1: like a nerdy guy voice, like not a nerdy guy voice.
Speaker 2: An episode three fourteen Zeen a warrior friends.
Speaker 1: Right right in that in that kind of cadence.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah yeah. Comic book store guy.
Speaker 1: Hello, Robin, Yes, sorry on my own? Is this you're on?
Speaker 1: You're on with with with me and Eric? What's going on?
Speaker 5: Manh hi Hi, not too bad?
Speaker 9: Thank you?
Speaker 1: What's how can we get you today?
Speaker 6: Man?
Speaker 1: What's what's going on?
Speaker 9: I just feel very directionless in life. I've recently graduated
Speaker 9: from from university of college to you and yeah, I
Speaker 9: just sort of got a job for the day after
Speaker 9: graduating at I just definitely know what want to do.
Speaker 2: What did you major in politics? Do you want a
Speaker 2: career in politics?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 9: I already work with in the how to of Commons
Speaker 9: in the British government, and I don't really know how
Speaker 9: much you know about British politics, but it's very much
Speaker 9: not going well right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys are a mess over there. You guys,
Speaker 2: you guys brexited? Can you just can you just undo Brexit?
Speaker 2: And Brentrance cut yourself off from the from the mainland literally, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're a tiny island. I don't know if you don't
Speaker 2: commerce works, but you really kind of cut off your
Speaker 2: nose despite your face.
Speaker 1: What if you always wanted to do well?
Speaker 5: I don't know that.
Speaker 9: I've always wanted to travel, but I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 9: I don't know. I don't know where to go? West
Speaker 9: they go.
Speaker 2: Why don't you take time off to travel? Why don't
Speaker 2: you take a sabbatical, take time off to travel and
Speaker 2: do some self exploration and then when you get back,
Speaker 2: just marry rich. That's what I plan on doing.
Speaker 1: That's a good that's a good plan.
Speaker 2: What brings you joy.
Speaker 1: Was in thought.
Speaker 9: I saw my first NFL game in London the other day.
Speaker 9: That was quite good to be sir.
Speaker 2: Okay, why don't you do some sports? Why don't you?
Speaker 2: Why don't you pivot into the sports world, Not as
Speaker 2: an athlete unless you had the prowess, but you know,
Speaker 2: maybe get involved in sports. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Are you good at rugby?
Speaker 9: I'm not very good at rugby. Now I'm not much
Speaker 9: for thoughts and I guess, well, you don't.
Speaker 2: Have to be an athlete. You could. You don't work
Speaker 2: for the you know, the each each one of those
Speaker 2: teams employees. Where is it you want to travel to Robin?
Speaker 9: I don't know, Australia, in Canada, I think it's Canada
Speaker 9: pool Eastern Europe as well, but have been.
Speaker 2: West of I guess it depends on what you like, man,
Speaker 2: I mean, follow your nose. If if Australia and Canada
Speaker 2: are going your name, go check them out.
Speaker 1: You've ever I think about this all the time. There's
Speaker 1: like these websites where you can go to like get
Speaker 1: matched up with like a family to teach them English,
Speaker 1: or like help their kids, or like work on their
Speaker 1: farm or some shit like that. I always think about
Speaker 1: doing something like that, you know, and you can do.
Speaker 1: I think they like you do it, and then they
Speaker 1: give you like a bed and like some meals and
Speaker 1: ship and it's kind of a way I think. I
Speaker 1: don't think you have to pay to get over there
Speaker 1: or whatever, but once you're there, I think you're you know,
Speaker 1: uh kind of kind of set up in the country.
Speaker 1: You ever look into doing something like that, because if
Speaker 1: you're out of school and you know, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you have like a little bit of money or anything,
Speaker 1: but you know, go experiment with that. That's what I
Speaker 1: would do if I wasn't yeah, you know, doing being
Speaker 1: a gecko.
Speaker 9: And I just feel like in my job as well,
Speaker 9: it's odd because when you work in politics, like there's
Speaker 9: an election and then you have like five days and
Speaker 9: then you just get kicked out on the streets nothing.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, it feels really uncertain of the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I feel like I'm a boring call for the
Speaker 9: rest of you.
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no no no. You should
Speaker 2: have heard Candy Man. You're falling asleep in their eyes
Speaker 2: open over here.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: I'm just workrying Caddy. It was a great dumb teaser. Uh.
Speaker 2: The last guy we had was like a methadone or something.
Speaker 1: So you're you're like, you're you're a nice baseline.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're you're a wild hair up your ass
Speaker 2: kind of collar compared to the last guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're bringing me a Look, I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're doing for the Nation of England, but you're bringing
Speaker 1: me a nice sense of calm right now, Robin.
Speaker 2: And I think, uh, you know, trust your intuition. Life
Speaker 2: is short. Get out there and travel, and through your
Speaker 2: travels you might experience some type of uh self discovery
Speaker 2: and some epiphany on what exactly you want to do,
Speaker 2: or you might meet somebody that changes the course of
Speaker 2: your life. But uh, yeah, yeah, Yeah, try aahuasca, try
Speaker 2: any psychedelic.
Speaker 1: Try anything. Get out in the universe. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: you might meet somebody, you might come up with some epiphany. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, just leave your out, leave the leave the nation,
Speaker 1: wander abouts like the like the nowhere Man from the Beatles,
Speaker 1: No man.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I guess it's just stressful being in any government.
Speaker 6: But it's just.
Speaker 1: What's your what's your position in the government?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 9: I am Richie Snak calling in No, I'm just I'm
Speaker 9: just I work with an MP directly to equivalent of
Speaker 9: a congressman, just like half helping them with all their
Speaker 9: tasks and things and frighting teachers or whatever, but mostly
Speaker 9: just like dealing with like the random crap that people
Speaker 9: right into us about, like is he a bit of.
Speaker 2: A cheeky cunt? Is this Congress been a bit of
Speaker 2: a cheeky cunt?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 9: No, no, they're no, they're very lovely.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means in British, but I
Speaker 2: loved just I love saying cheeky cunt. You can't say
Speaker 2: it America. Well, you know, I think you have to
Speaker 2: be in Australia or England to get away in Australia.
Speaker 1: If you call someone a cunt, it's a good thing,
Speaker 1: but a cheeky cunt or a ship cunt would be
Speaker 1: a bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Is he a rosscott.
Speaker 9: Bumbacot like, yeah, it's a nice thing here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Robin, I think you're a good cunt.
Speaker 9: When you land in London, that's what you need.
Speaker 2: I think you're a beautiful cunt. Go spread your your
Speaker 2: beautiful spread your beautiful cunt all over Australia.
Speaker 1: All over Australia, Canada and anywhere in the world that
Speaker 1: will have you.
Speaker 10: My friends, you got to have any final questions, Yeah, Robin,
Speaker 10: I think just quit your job and then follow your heart.
Speaker 2: Man my dreams.
Speaker 9: Well I should now Eric commanded it, so I should.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, maybe go to Australia. Shelf opinga and smoky
Speaker 2: youp be being.
Speaker 9: I've written my down.
Speaker 2: I'll do it straight away, okay, shelfing opingers when you
Speaker 2: put extit up your ass.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know that in Australia.
Speaker 2: That's Australian talked though I ran on a British slang.
Speaker 1: I'm learning more than the callers. Hey, take care, Robin,
Speaker 1: Thank you care so much, Robin, love you how you feeling.
Speaker 1: I thought you'd do I thought it was gonna make
Speaker 1: you feel bad to ask you that. Thanks for doing this.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I'm a I'm a huge fucking fan.
Speaker 2: You got what you wanted. Yeah, no, this was a
Speaker 2: bit of a snooze.
Speaker 1: No, no, No, you were great. You were great. I'm
Speaker 1: honored to have you on. I'm a huge fucking fan. Dude.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you want to say to uh,
Speaker 1: like you want to plug anything or anything like that.
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a podcast. I got a podcast about
Speaker 2: bombing on Big Money Players Network. It's called bom. I
Speaker 2: just have comedians and musicians and artists on and asked
Speaker 2: what their worst gig of all time was.
Speaker 1: And you're still on tour, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Eric, Eric andretour dot Com. I'm in San Antonio
Speaker 2: on Monday, I'm doing my Texas. I'm messing with Texas
Speaker 2: next week San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Austin. Then the following
Speaker 2: week I go back to the Midwest. Then I'll do
Speaker 2: a West coast leg. We're going to add dates too,
Speaker 2: So don't stress if I'm not.
Speaker 1: And it's not it's that you're not doing like traditional
Speaker 1: stand up, right, you're doing kind of a medley of things, Yes.
Speaker 2: A medley, a cornucopia of chaos. It's a little bit
Speaker 2: Gallagher meets gg Allen beautiful. Yeah, interviewing people, destroying the venue.
Speaker 2: It's very interactive, a lot of fan interactions. If you're
Speaker 2: a fan and you want to get stuff sprayed on you, yeah,
Speaker 2: if you want to come up on stage with me
Speaker 2: and do crazy shit.
Speaker 1: This is the time I saw you like hanging somebody
Speaker 1: up on a cross.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we ripped off a Jenna Jackson stick like she
Speaker 2: used to like put people this sex cross and then
Speaker 2: like kind of molest them on stage and like hump
Speaker 2: them while singing a song. So that's what I'm doing
Speaker 2: for my opening monologue.
Speaker 1: Hairicontry Tour dot.
Speaker 2: Com, hairand Jeordie dot com. Yeah, yeah, thanks, thanks buddy.
Speaker 2: The repet goes on.
Speaker 1: The line taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: The repk goes Jordan's hide. He's teaching you cloud in
Speaker 2: your life, but he's not
Speaker 1: Really an expert.