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Speaker 1: Have I not debunked that in this entire podcast? If

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Speaker 1: you're listening to this, have I not debunked that thought

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Speaker 1: that getting married doesn't bring you ultimate happiness right away?

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Speaker 1: Having a girlfriend doesn't bring you happiness? Relax? What's up everybody?

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Grangersmith Podcast. Thanks for listening, watching wherever

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Speaker 1: you're coming from, whatever platform you're coming on coming from.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm grateful for you. However you heard about

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Speaker 1: this podcast, Welcome. We put out new episodes every Monday.

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Speaker 1: We talk about your questions. I answer your questions. You

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Speaker 1: could email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll

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Speaker 1: put it in the queue. I asked you just kind

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Speaker 1: of keep it an iPhone link and don't send it

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Speaker 1: multiple times, and then we're going to talk about it

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Speaker 1: as though me and you are sitting around a campfire

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Speaker 1: long form. You asked me something, something that's been on

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Speaker 1: your mind, and I'm gonna answer like me and you

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Speaker 1: are friends. That's what this is all about. This is

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Speaker 1: episode one forty three. Let's dig into it. First question,

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Speaker 1: subject line says I don't love my wife. Says Hey, Grangeer,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to remain anonymous. Long time follower of your music,

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Speaker 1: but first time listener of the podcast. It's been helping

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Speaker 1: me tremendously with deep issues I'm dealing with. To dive

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Speaker 1: straight into this after listening to a recent episode of

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Speaker 1: Yours where you said, if you have to think about

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Speaker 1: loving her, then you actually don't. So it made me

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Speaker 1: think and realize that I never did love my wife.

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Speaker 1: I love what she's given me, but I don't love her.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I met right after i'd gotten out

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Speaker 1: of a rough relationship when we were nineteen. We got

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Speaker 1: married less than a month after that, and we barely

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Speaker 1: knew each other. We're now twenty six, and every day

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Speaker 1: this haunts me. We have a two year old daughter,

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Speaker 1: and I honestly have no idea what to do. I

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Speaker 1: know what the right thing to do is, However I

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Speaker 1: feel like it could be the wrong choice. I have

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Speaker 1: caught my wife sending illicit photos on three separate occasions

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Speaker 1: to three separate people, and I currently suspect she's talking

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Speaker 1: to someone else right now, though I cannot prove it.

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Speaker 1: She's very private about her phone and deletes everything every day.

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Speaker 1: It's a gut feeling I have, and everyone has always

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Speaker 1: said that you need to trust your gut. I have

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Speaker 1: been asking God for a sign on what to do,

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Speaker 1: and have recently surrendered myself to God and asked him

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Speaker 1: to guide me. And I believe that God brought me

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Speaker 1: to your podcast to ask for guidance from an outside source.

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Speaker 1: There is obviously way more to this and way more

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Speaker 1: to be said, but I don't want this email to

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Speaker 1: be too long, So my short story question is what

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Speaker 1: should I do. I don't believe I've ever loved my wife,

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Speaker 1: and my daughter always comes first in my mind. My

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Speaker 1: wife gets jealous of our daughter and my relationship and

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Speaker 1: accuses me of loving her more, which I do. Also,

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Speaker 1: my wife every day accuses me of either talking to

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Speaker 1: someone else or thinking about leaving her or sometimes wrong,

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Speaker 1: or that that's sometimes wrong. Whenever I'm quiet, I'll stop

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Speaker 1: right here. So this email didn't get too long, but

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Speaker 1: please reply back. Thank you. I hope to hear from

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Speaker 1: you soon. Anonymous, thank you for emailing buddy. You asked

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Speaker 1: from my opinion, and you're going to get it, and

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna like it. And I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: going to follow it because it sounds like you have

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Speaker 1: made your mind up. But I'm gonna plead the case.

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Speaker 1: Plead my case to you, because you came here on

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Speaker 1: this podcast, and I'm gonna plead my case to you

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Speaker 1: and to anyone else that might be listening and going

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Speaker 1: through something similar. I'm also going to plead the case

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Speaker 1: for someone that's nineteen like you once were, that's single

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Speaker 1: and lonely and looking for a relationship. And I'm going

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Speaker 1: to say, to that nineteen year old looking for a

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Speaker 1: relationship that's very, very lonely, do you want to be

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Speaker 1: in a situation like this? Don't rush it, wait, wait

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Speaker 1: it out. You could be here. You could be in

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Speaker 1: this situation. So let's dive in now that I've given

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Speaker 1: you an intro to that I don't think you're going

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Speaker 1: to like, where do I start? I'm gonna start with God.

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Speaker 1: But you mentioned God three times in this email, and

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Speaker 1: you have a capital G, and you say you have surrendered.

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Speaker 1: What we do in a situation like this is we

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Speaker 1: turn to God's word. So there's three there's three points

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Speaker 1: of action to heavy dilemma. The three points of action

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Speaker 1: is read the word, pray, and ask for wise counsel.

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Speaker 1: It's apparent that you're doing all three if you're reading

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Speaker 1: the word I know you said you're praying, you've surrendered.

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Speaker 1: You're asking this podcast. I would suggest also asking wise

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Speaker 1: counsel at a church. Your story is not unique, it's

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Speaker 1: not new. It's not going to shock anybody because a

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Speaker 1: lot of people are going through this, so no one's

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Speaker 1: going to go, Wow, this is the craziest story I've

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Speaker 1: ever heard, like just common. But here's the thing, anonymous.

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Speaker 1: God's word very clearly says you stay in the marriage

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Speaker 1: and you fight for it because your love at this

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Speaker 1: point is a decision. It is a choice. You don't

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Speaker 1: follow your gut. Don't follow your gut, you said, everyone

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Speaker 1: tells you to do that. I'm telling you maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: the only one saying, don't follow your gut. That your heart.

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Speaker 1: The Bible says your heart is deceitful, it is wicked,

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Speaker 1: and so is mine, and so we follow our minds.

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Speaker 1: And when you read the Word, it says that your

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Speaker 1: marriage is a covenant and that what God has brought together,

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Speaker 1: no man can separate. Now, I understand that there there

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Speaker 1: are things that Jesus said, like adultery that allows you

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Speaker 1: a loophole, But he said that because man messed up

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Speaker 1: to begin with, so that's not an excuse that you

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Speaker 1: look for. You have already declared your wife guilty until

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Speaker 1: proven innocent, not because she's an inherently bad person, but

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Speaker 1: because you're trying to find a way out. You're trying

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Speaker 1: to find a loophole so that that court paper looks

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Speaker 1: a little bit better and you can keep custody of

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Speaker 1: your daughter, or fifty percent custody of your daughter. That's

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Speaker 1: what your brain is doing. You have decided she is guilty.

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Speaker 1: This was a wrong decision. You need out. You have

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Speaker 1: made up your mind in this situation because your heart

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Speaker 1: has been deceitful to you. Your heart has lied to you.

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Speaker 1: When God's word says that this marriage is precious, that

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Speaker 1: this marriage matters, you can't go to God and say

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Speaker 1: I surrender. Now. What should I do when the word

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Speaker 1: clearly says clearly that you need to stay in this marriage.

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Speaker 1: You need to fight for this marriage. What does it

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Speaker 1: say to your daughter if you leave this marriage In

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Speaker 1: twenty years, she's going to be in a serious relationship

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Speaker 1: thinking about this decision you made, and she's gonna think

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Speaker 1: to herself, well, marriage is not that big a deal.

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Speaker 1: It's not permanent. Because dad left, Mom is that the

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Speaker 1: message you want to send to her. And let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something else. The reason the Bible says this,

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Speaker 1: it's not to cancuff us or to make us have miserable,

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Speaker 1: loveless lives. It's because, as our creator that created us

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Speaker 1: in a certain way, he knows where our ultimate joy

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Speaker 1: is going to come from him, and so he builds

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Speaker 1: us in a way, and he gives us the instructions

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Speaker 1: to follow him and to follow his word so that

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Speaker 1: we may have joy and hope and peace and love,

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Speaker 1: not in our own way, like you're trying to create

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Speaker 1: your own way. The only way that things are created

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Speaker 1: new is from God. He makes the rivers in the desert,

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Speaker 1: He makes things new. He's the one that can turn

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Speaker 1: your heart back to her. So a total surrender, like

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Speaker 1: you're saying, is God, I I don't love her, I

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Speaker 1: am hurting, I am lost. I need direction. So I

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Speaker 1: surrender to you because you have my heart in your hands.

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Speaker 1: That's what the Bible says. It's got your heart in

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Speaker 1: his hands. He could turn it any which way he

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Speaker 1: wants to. So you say, God, I need I know

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Speaker 1: that your word says to stay in this marriage, but

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Speaker 1: I don't feel that so I need I need you

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Speaker 1: to change my feeling. I need you to change my heart,

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Speaker 1: make my eyes adore her again, turn my heart to

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Speaker 1: her again, so that I could love her. And maybe

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Speaker 1: you're thinking, well, I never did well. At nineteen, you

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Speaker 1: found her and something happened so much so that you

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Speaker 1: rushed into a marriage one month later. You must have

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Speaker 1: been really attracted or something about her really compelled you,

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Speaker 1: and then something else really compelled you enough to consummate

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Speaker 1: that wedding and make a baby. Like it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: wasn't nothing. It wasn't like there was zero attraction. There

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Speaker 1: was something there. So now you go to God and

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Speaker 1: you just go God. I know, I know what your

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Speaker 1: word says. And I'm staying for my wife, I'm staying

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Speaker 1: for my baby, and ultimately I'm staying for you. But

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Speaker 1: I also want to feel joy and peace and hope,

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Speaker 1: and I need you to turn my heart. And then

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Speaker 1: your point of action, your action to your faith, is saying, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go on a date. We're gonna go and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do counseling, we're gonna work on this. Why

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Speaker 1: do you think she's jealous of you and your daughter?

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Speaker 1: Because you're actually loving your daughter more. She sees that

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Speaker 1: that's easy. Why do you think she's maybe cheating or

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Speaker 1: sending pictures to somebody because she doesn't feel the love

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Speaker 1: from you. You're blaming her for something that you have done.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to see from my perspective, from this chair

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Speaker 1: and this table and this podcast, it's easy to see.

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Speaker 1: Of course she's talking to somebody else. Of course she's

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Speaker 1: jealous of you and your daughter because you're not giving

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Speaker 1: her anything, because you've already made up your mind. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to be here. You have accused her guilty.

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Speaker 1: That's just not what God's words said. Now, you said

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Speaker 1: you feel like God has led you to this podcast

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Speaker 1: to come and give you an outside perspective answer. Now,

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Speaker 1: I'm here to tell you. I think I think you're right,

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Speaker 1: and I think God led you to this podcast so

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Speaker 1: that I could lead you back to his word that

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Speaker 1: says stay with this marriage, fight for it. The easy

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Speaker 1: thing for you to do right now, Anonymous. The easy

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Speaker 1: thing is to go to the courthouse and file some

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Speaker 1: papers and get out. But God says you do that,

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Speaker 1: you're going to get into another marriage one day, and

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Speaker 1: there will be zero trust in that next marriage, because

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Speaker 1: your next wife will go why did you get out

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Speaker 1: of that marriage? And you'll go, yeah, I just didn't

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Speaker 1: love her. You didn't, but you must have thought you did. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I thought it did, but it didn't. So do you

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Speaker 1: love me? Yeah? Of course I love you. Well, there's

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Speaker 1: zero trust because you cannot prove to her that you

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Speaker 1: stood in front of family and courthouse and friends or

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Speaker 1: whatever you did. You stood up in front and said

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Speaker 1: sickness and health and death to us part. I will

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Speaker 1: love you forever. That's what you said in your vows,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna say it again, and you're a man

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Speaker 1: that can't be trusted with vows a second time. A

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Speaker 1: lot of people are listening, going, I'm remarried, and it's great.

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Speaker 1: There's always these like exceptions. But you're asking me what

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Speaker 1: God says. And I'm telling you, I don't think you're

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Speaker 1: going to listen, and I don't think this matters to you,

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Speaker 1: but you did ask me on this podcast, and I'm

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Speaker 1: directing you back that you have to fight for this marriage.

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Speaker 1: You might not love her, but think about the thousands

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Speaker 1: of years before you, when people were in arranged marriages,

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Speaker 1: when they never even met till the day they got married,

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Speaker 1: and they stayed together the rest of their lives. We

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Speaker 1: don't live in a fairy tale. This is not the

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Speaker 1: movies where it just appears that people are always infatuated

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Speaker 1: with each other for fifty years. Sometimes we can confuse infatuation,

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Speaker 1: like I was talking about it in the other podcast.

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Speaker 1: We can confuse that infatuation with true love that takes work.

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Speaker 1: With true love that's more than just a feeling, like

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Speaker 1: a fleeting feeling knees or weak and you get goosebumps.

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Speaker 1: That's bigger than that. It's better than that. Stay with it, Anonymous,

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Speaker 1: Pray that your heart has changed because you have a daughter.

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Speaker 1: It matters. You have a wife. It matters when you're

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Speaker 1: old and sitting in a rock and chair on the

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Speaker 1: front porch. It doesn't matter what she looks like. You've

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Speaker 1: made a commitment to her and you will love her.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry you're going through this, but I do feel

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Speaker 1: like you came to this podcast for a reason. You're

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Speaker 1: asking for God's word. It's clear. It's clear. Read it.

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Speaker 1: Read God's word about marriage. It's clear. What a way

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Speaker 1: to start. Okay, next question, it says, Hey Granger, I'm

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Speaker 1: thirty two. I'm from Las Vegas. I listen to your

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Speaker 1: podcast all the time while at work, and I always

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Speaker 1: look forward for the next episode to come out. Thank you, Buddy, says,

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Speaker 1: let me get right to this. So I've been struggling

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Speaker 1: mentally on how much I've lost patience. I have a

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Speaker 1: two year old little boy, and my old lady has

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Speaker 1: two girls of her own, eight and almost thirteen. I

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Speaker 1: get frustrated so easily, and my girl tells me that

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Speaker 1: I need to learn more patience, and she's one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent right. When I'm trying to get my son down

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Speaker 1: for a nap or bed, he's always just fighting with me,

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it gets so frustrating. It feels like I'm

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Speaker 1: always turning into an angry guy sometimes and I get

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Speaker 1: a little sappy, snappy, or have an attitude. Sometimes that's

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Speaker 1: not who I am. I'm usually always happy guy, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes the kids just frustrate with me. I would just

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Speaker 1: love some tricks on how to get better as a

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Speaker 1: man and a father. I'm not open. I'm not one

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Speaker 1: to open up about my problems, but I'm lost inside.

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Speaker 1: My head is crying out for advice. Thanks God, bless

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Speaker 1: A question comes from Chad thirty two, Las Vegas. Dude,

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Speaker 1: thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: listening while you're working. I'm glad that it has mattered

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Speaker 1: to you, because it matters to you now, it matters

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Speaker 1: to me, and there's a lot of things I could

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Speaker 1: be doing filling up my days instead of sitting in

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Speaker 1: front of the microphone hoping that somebody's listening. So the

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Speaker 1: fact that it matters to you makes it worth it

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Speaker 1: to me. So Chad, thank you, brother. What you're feeling

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Speaker 1: is very normal. Two year olds are monsters. They're absolute monsters.

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Speaker 1: So of course you're frustrated with a two year old, like,

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Speaker 1: that's not something new, that's not something weird. They're little monsters,

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Speaker 1: as Jordan Peterson says, they're little rats. Now they're cute.

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Speaker 1: They're so cute. I believe God made two year olds

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Speaker 1: so cute so you don't kill them, and he made

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Speaker 1: them so small so they don't kill you, because they

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Speaker 1: would kill you. If a two year old was bigger

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Speaker 1: than you and they could during one of those tipper tantrums,

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Speaker 1: they would kill you. So buddy, uh, this is a

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Speaker 1: season you're in and this is going to fly by

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Speaker 1: your your baby boy is going to be three and

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Speaker 1: then then they're going to be four and five, like

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Speaker 1: in a blink of an eye. So the old you

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Speaker 1: have to flip your mentality instead of I am so

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Speaker 1: frustrated right now with this child into thinking this is

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Speaker 1: just a phase. This child, this child is going through

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Speaker 1: a phase that's going to be just a blink of

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Speaker 1: an eye. It's like a small town map dot. You

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Speaker 1: blink and you miss it. That's what two is. It's

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Speaker 1: not easy, and it's harder. I believe it's harder for

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Speaker 1: men sometimes because I think women are are better attuned

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Speaker 1: to a small child than a man, and I believe

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Speaker 1: men a man is more in tune for a teenager

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Speaker 1: in raising that kind of child. Now we overlap, and

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Speaker 1: we we're both good at certain things, but I just think,

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Speaker 1: genuine genuinely, generally, a woman is better at dealing with

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Speaker 1: a two year old than a man. You're coming home

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Speaker 1: from work, you're tired, your your your patience is low.

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Speaker 1: Keep fighting the good fight, brother, and that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: You're keep struggling righteously. Right, Just just hang in there,

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Speaker 1: hang in there, knowing that this is gonna pass. And

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Speaker 1: look at that baby and just think, man two, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna go by so fast. I love this baby boy,

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Speaker 1: and he's gonna be a man one day, most of

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Speaker 1: his life, most of this two year old's life, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be an adult talking back to you, God willing.

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Speaker 1: So this two year old stage is gone. It's so fast.

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Speaker 1: So when you get frustrated and he's thrown a timber

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Speaker 1: tantrum and he doesn't want to eat, or he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to sleep, or doesn't want to take a bath,

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Speaker 1: just take a second and take a breath. Take a breath.

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Speaker 1: Breathe all the way out and all the way in.

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Speaker 1: It's just a child, and it's normal. You did the

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Speaker 1: same thing to your mom and dad. Everyone listening did

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Speaker 1: the same thing to their parents. It's called the Terrible

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Speaker 1: twos for a reason. This is not new. Take a breath.

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Speaker 1: This is gonna pass. It's gonna be over in a

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Speaker 1: blink of an eye. Sail your ship, you got it.

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Speaker 1: It's turbulent water. You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it.

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Speaker 1: Take a breath. If you got if you got to

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Speaker 1: take a second, go out in the backyard, just yell,

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Speaker 1: do it. Come back in recenter. Okay, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: let this child run my life, run my patience into

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Speaker 1: the ground. Yes I'm tired, Yeah I'm hungry, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna let this child, who doesn't know any better,

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Speaker 1: dictate my total mental state. Recenter reciner, you're the dad,

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Speaker 1: take control of this household. You got this question. Subject

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Speaker 1: line says drinking and driving. Hey Grange, I want to

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Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I live in Georgia. I'm thirty five years old.

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Speaker 1: Ever since I moved out of my parents' house, I

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Speaker 1: started drinking alcohol and Friday and Saturday nights hanging out

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Speaker 1: with my friends. It's always taught by my Christian parents

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Speaker 1: that it was wrong, but I still did it well.

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Speaker 1: This past weekend, I thought it was a good idea

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Speaker 1: and it wasn't and I got a DUI. How do

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Speaker 1: I get past this and how to get more focused

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Speaker 1: on serving Jesus? Thanks Anonymous. I'm sorry, brother. This is

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Speaker 1: this is tough. This is a this is the consequence

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Speaker 1: of a mistake that is costly. I know the DUIs

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Speaker 1: are expensive and it's going to take a long time

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Speaker 1: to clear this off your record, to get off probation,

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Speaker 1: to get your driver's license back. Whatever that might entail

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Speaker 1: and it's just really the fine is really really expensive.

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Speaker 1: So you got you got a long you got a

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Speaker 1: long road ahead of you. An uphill climb, absolutely doable.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people do it. It's gonna depend on

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Speaker 1: your mentality. Are you the kind of person that's going

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Speaker 1: to turn back to drinking and get another one and

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Speaker 1: then you're really in trouble, Then you're going to jail,

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Speaker 1: maybe getting a car accident and kill somebody and then

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Speaker 1: go into prison for manslaughter. Are you the other side

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Speaker 1: of the coin that goes no, I'm I learned my lesson.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get better now. You sound like that. That's

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Speaker 1: what your email sounds like. You sound like the person

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Speaker 1: that's like, man, I learned my lesson. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: better at this. So Jesus is not the you do

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Speaker 1: I How do I say this? I hope I could

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Speaker 1: say this with all due respect to you, But we

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Speaker 1: don't clean ourselves up and go to Jesus. There's a

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Speaker 1: there's not a time when we Now every other religion

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Speaker 1: is gonna say that you you clean up and you

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Speaker 1: get your life together in order, and then you go

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Speaker 1: to Jesus and then you're worthy of him when you're

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Speaker 1: finally cleaned up. It's not Christianity. Jesus finds us as

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Speaker 1: we're broken. He came to earth, as he said, he

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Speaker 1: came to save sinners like me and you. So sometimes

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Speaker 1: it takes something like this, something bad to open our eyes.

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Speaker 1: It's unfortunate, but it's like sometimes when you're let's go

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Speaker 1: back to the two year old, right, So we just

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Speaker 1: had to have the email about the two year old.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes a two year old will will pull up on

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Speaker 1: the couch and you say, don't do that, don't do

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Speaker 1: that because the rug is slippery, don't do that, and

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Speaker 1: they don't listen to you. They kind of mock you

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Speaker 1: and look back and they're not paying attention. And so

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Speaker 1: his parents. One thing we can do is we could

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Speaker 1: just go, Okay, I'm gonna let you stay there for

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Speaker 1: a second. I'm gonna let you see what happens when

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Speaker 1: you're on that slippery rug on that couch. I'm just

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Speaker 1: making up as hypothetical. And then they fall and then

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Speaker 1: they they bang up their elbow and then they cry

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Speaker 1: and then you pick them up and you say, buddy,

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Speaker 1: I told you, I told you not to do that.

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Speaker 1: You did it, and now you're paying the consequence you gotta.

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Speaker 1: You got a bruised elbow. Now God is a father,

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Speaker 1: and I believe, I believe so many times he does

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Speaker 1: the same thing to us. It's like, you want to

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Speaker 1: you don't want to listen to the word. And okay,

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Speaker 1: let's see what happens. You're a rebel. Let's see what

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Speaker 1: happens to rebels. But whenever you finish being a rebel,

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Speaker 1: whenever you're standing there with your bruised elbow and you're crying,

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Speaker 1: turn back to me. Turn back to me. That's the story.

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Speaker 1: That's the story of Jesus. So you want to get

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Speaker 1: past this and start focusing more and serving him. Now

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Speaker 1: you got a bruised elbow. Now you're ready. You're in

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Speaker 1: a perfect place. This is that's not a bad thing,

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Speaker 1: that's a beautiful thing. Now you're at a place when

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Speaker 1: you're ready. You weren't ready before, before the bruised elbow.

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Speaker 1: You weren't ready to turn and listen. But he was

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Speaker 1: always there. You didn't have to clean up your life

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Speaker 1: to get close to him. He was always always there ready.

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Speaker 1: So what do you do now? Dive into the word,

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Speaker 1: start going to church, make a priority on Sundays to

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Speaker 1: go to church. Start surrounding yourself with better friends. Better

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Speaker 1: friends that can keep you accountable, that say, hey, man,

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Speaker 1: you're getting drunk again. You getting behind the wheel again.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that, don't do that. Those are the friends

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Speaker 1: you need now, not the friends that go Man, can

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Speaker 1: you be our designated driver? We're going out Friday. Those

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Speaker 1: are the friends you don't need anymore. I believe you've

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Speaker 1: learned your lesson from that, and who you are is

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Speaker 1: the company that you keep. So look at the five

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Speaker 1: people that are closest to you. Make a big note

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Speaker 1: about those five people, because those five people that are

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Speaker 1: surrounding you at all times more than anybody else. That's

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Speaker 1: who you are. You will always assimilate to that group,

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Speaker 1: that five, So it might be time for some new ones.

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Speaker 1: Those are the three things I would tell you to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you had to bruise your elbow, but

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Speaker 1: I think it's a good thing. I think you're in

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Speaker 1: a great place. Let's take a break and beerer back.

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Speaker 1: Thank y'all for listening to the Granger Smith podcast. If

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00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,360
Speaker 1: you want to hear more, we put out a new

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Speaker 1: episode every single Monday morning. If you want to find

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Speaker 1: out ways to get a hold of me. You could

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00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. If you want

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00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: a special message from me, this is really cool, go

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00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: to cameo dot com slash grangersmith. Ask for anything you need,

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00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: maybe a birthday shout out a little word of encouragement,

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00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: happy engagement, whatever it might be. Go to cameo dot

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00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: com slash Grangersmith. I'll make you a personal video message.

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00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: You could also download the cameo app and search for

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00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: me granger Smith. I'll make you any kind of video

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00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: and send it to you personalized anytime you want. Go

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00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 1: to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith or download the cameo app.

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Speaker 1: Of course you know this, but if you ever want

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Speaker 1: to sport some Yee apparel or anything related to Yee,

425
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 1: go to ye Ye dot com. Let's get back to

426
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: your questions, all right. Next question says single mom Dating Standards.

427
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 1: Hey Granger, new listener here, I follow Yeeee and I've

428
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: heard of your podcast. My question is I'm divorced, single

429
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,680
Speaker 1: mother for the last five years of an amazing little boy.

430
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 1: His father chooses when he wants to be part of

431
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: his life. I'm also the sole provider and have been.

432
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: I'm a godfearing woman and raising my son to be

433
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: a godfearing man. I've healed from all of my abusive

434
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 1: marriage and I'm proud of that, all glory to God.

435
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: But I do badly want a partner and a father

436
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,679
Speaker 1: figure in my son's life who loves the Lord. I

437
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: go to church every week, I work children's ministry, I

438
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 1: work full time, and then I'm also a full time mom.

439
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 1: I'm overweight, which I'm trying to work on, but I

440
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,239
Speaker 1: feel like that's what's stopping my dating life. I have

441
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: no dating life, and my son is at that age

442
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 1: when he's having no man to look up to, and

443
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 1: that's becoming more and more difficult. He's eight years old.

444
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: I could show a mother's love all day, but there's

445
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 1: something different with boys and their fathers. I'm ready for

446
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: a marriage and a bigger family. Lord knows it, but

447
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to just settle for just any guy again.

448
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: What do you suggest? Thank you for always being so

449
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: encouraging and pointing us back to him. Anonymous fan, So Anonymous,

450
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: this is interesting. So for everyone else listening, remember the

451
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 1: first question I answered on this podcast in the first section.

452
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: This is the result of the divorce. If you give

453
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: up on your marriage, this is what happens. This is

454
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 1: now a single mom in that other case with a

455
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 1: daughter who's looking for a man and looking for that

456
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: father figure for a seven or eight year old daughter.

457
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: This is the end result. So we could always see

458
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: through these questions as we listen to this podcast, we

459
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 1: could see all the different stages of life and relationships.

460
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,239
Speaker 1: We could see the ones that if we follow a

461
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: path that God's given us, or if we follow our

462
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: own heart and chase after our own desires, we could

463
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: see the result. It's very easy to see. Okay, So Anonymous,

464
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: thank you for emailing. Thank you for this question. This

465
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: is a hard thing you're in and I do have

466
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: sympathy for that, and it sounds like you're doing some

467
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: great things. You sound like an amazing woman. My first

468
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: thought that comes to my mind is reading through the Psalms,

469
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: like read through the Psalms like in the twenties, Psalm

470
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: twenty twenty one, twenty two, twenty three, twenty four to

471
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: twenty five, and you're gonna see so much in those

472
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: Psalms of David in his heart, which is a man

473
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: after God's own heart, and you can see a lot

474
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: of things about waiting, waiting. I wait for you, Lord,

475
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: I will wait for you. I wait for the Lord. Wait, wait, wait,

476
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: wait for the Lord. He has a plan, he has

477
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: a purpose. Trust and surrender to that and wait. Now

478
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: that is so hard to understand, so difficult to swallow.

479
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: But that's the truth. Anything less than that, anything less

480
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: than you waiting, is a lack of trust. Now, you

481
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: are a god freeing woman, according to your words. You

482
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: go to church every week, you work in children's ministry.

483
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: But there is a lack of trust. I'm not accusing you,

484
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 1: because we all do at some level, all of us.

485
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,439
Speaker 1: But I just I'm pointing it back to you that

486
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: that if you're going what's going on? Will I ever

487
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: find someone I don't want to settle I I don't, don't, don't, can't, can't, won't, won't.

488
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 1: It's a lack of trust. That's that's not an easy thing.

489
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: But it's like this, It's like God on your knees

490
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: at night, Anonymous God. I am surrendering to you because

491
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 1: I know you have a purpose for my life that's

492
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: already written. You have a plan for me, you have

493
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: a purpose, you have a path for me. That's laid out.

494
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: Let me surrender to that path. Let me surrender knowing

495
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: that your purpose is better than mine. I could try

496
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,400
Speaker 1: all I want to navigate and take the wheel and

497
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: try to turn this ship however I want to go,

498
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: But your path is better. You make things new, you

499
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 1: restore marriages, you create rivers in the desert. That's you,

500
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: the creator of this universe. I surrender to that. So

501
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna rest and that and I'm gonna wait on it.

502
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait for you. Say that and preach it

503
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: to your heart, even if you don't believe it. Sometimes

504
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: we have to say things out loud and let our

505
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: heart catch up to that later. But you know that

506
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 1: that's the truth, and you know that that's the word.

507
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: Wait for the Lord. He has glory plan for you,

508
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: So wait it out and preach it to your heart.

509
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 1: And your heart says, no, I don't want to wait.

510
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: I wanna find somebody now, and I'm overweight and I

511
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: have problems and I and my son is getting older

512
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: and he needs a father and I don't. And just

513
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 1: then preach it back and say, wait, wait for the Lord.

514
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: I surrender. I trust his purpose, his plan, his will

515
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: not mine. I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait,

516
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: and say that to yourself and then get back on

517
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,520
Speaker 1: your knees and go God. I'm waiting for you. I

518
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: pray that you just brings a man into my life.

519
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: I'm working, I'm busy, I don't know where to look,

520
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: and so I can anymore. And I'm gonna give it

521
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: back to you. I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm

522
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 1: not gonna force this square peg in a round hole.

523
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say to God, I trust you that

524
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: you're gonna bring up. But I'm asking for a godly

525
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 1: man to come into my life for my son. And

526
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: if it doesn't come tomorrow, I'll pray it again. But

527
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna worry and I'm not gonna get angry

528
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: about it, because your purpose is better than mine. So

529
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait, wait for you. I'm gonna wait for

530
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: you and then preach it back to your heart again.

531
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: I'll wait for the Lord. I wait for the Lord.

532
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: His purpose not mine, his will not mine. He has

533
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: a path, he makes rivers in the desert. I will

534
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: wait for the Lord. If you don't believe that, then

535
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: you're just not trusting. Do that, Do that? Man. Next question,

536
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: subject line depressed and single. Here we go, Hey, gradeer.

537
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: My name is Jacob. I'm from West Virginia. I'm twenty

538
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: three years old, never had a girlfriend, and I really

539
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: want one. I've been on tender Bumble and a few

540
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: other dating websites and I still can't find one. I'm

541
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: not really going out. I'm quiet, I'm shy, so I'm

542
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: not the type to go out to bars and parties

543
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 1: to look for a girlfriend. I've been praying to God

544
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: for what seems like forever to bring me a girlfriend

545
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: and a future wife. But all my buddies either have

546
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: a girlfriend or they're getting married, and I just feel

547
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: left out at this point, I don't even know what

548
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: to do. Please help appreciate it. Jacob from West Virginia.

549
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,480
Speaker 1: You're making a good case. You're making a good case

550
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: to complete. Is this episode is like full circle? Okay, Jacob,

551
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: you're making a case of a desperate man you're becoming.

552
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: You're slowly letting your heart take over, and it's making

553
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,719
Speaker 1: you desperate. And the more desperate you let your wild,

554
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: wicked heart be and it convinces your mind. That's how

555
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: it works. Starts in the gut, follow your gut, follow

556
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 1: your gut. Reject that. The more you let your wild,

557
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 1: wicked heart run free and act desperate, the more it

558
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: convinces your mind that you are desperate, and that everyone

559
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: else has a good life, and everyone else has a girlfriend,

560
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: and they're all getting married and oh, trust me, everyone

561
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: that's getting married's gonna have a great life. Have I

562
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: not debunked that in this entire podcast, if you're listening

563
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: to this, Jacob, have I not debunked that thought that

564
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: getting married doesn't bring you ultimate happiness right away? Having

565
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: a girlfriend doesn't bring you happiness. Relax. Take a breath,

566
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 1: like the guy with the two year old. Take a breath.

567
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: This is a season. Wait for the lord. Get a hobby,

568
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: Go get go, join a club and do something that

569
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:05,400
Speaker 1: you love with other guy friends. Wait, this is a season.

570
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: You're gonna have an entire life to be married. You

571
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: were twenty three. It's extremely young. You got a lot

572
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: of life. I was not married at twenty three. There

573
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: are a lot of girls out there. You don't need

574
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: to be on tender and bumble and dating apps. I

575
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: understand your shy. Overcome it. Instead of working on finding

576
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 1: a girl on tender and bumble. Instead of worrying and

577
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 1: taking all the think how much effort it takes to

578
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: worry about finding a girl and how you're gonna do it.

579
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: Instead of all that energy going that direction, put the

580
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: energy on overcoming your shyness in small increments, baby steps,

581
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: like I don't like going out where other girls are

582
00:33:54,920 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: or parties. Try it. It's not easy for a shy

583
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: person to go to a party. Float in there and

584
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 1: hang on the wall like a fly, go with some friends,

585
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: be in a group, be surrounded by a group. Work

586
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: on that, and don't go there with the intention of

587
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: finding a girlfriend. Not that many people find girlfriends at

588
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: parties anyway. It comes through other ways, Like that's a

589
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: rare thing to do any So that's not like the

590
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 1: future wife is at the party. It's like no one's

591
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 1: saying that the future wife is at the bar like that.

592
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: Why would you want that anyway? I know that people

593
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 1: do that, but is that what you want? Like that's

594
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: the girl you want is one you found at a bar.

595
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,800
Speaker 1: Learn to be content in the situation you're in now.

596
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: If you don't figure this out, if you don't rest

597
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: on that contentment in the place you are right now,

598
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 1: in your life. It's setting you up for failure in

599
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: a relationship. Let me say it again. If you don't

600
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: find contentment in the place in your life that you

601
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: are right now, you are setting yourself up for failure

602
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: in a future relationship because you will have become desperate.

603
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: And a desperate way into a relationship is not a

604
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 1: good one. That's not a good way to get into

605
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 1: a relationship because you're desperately looking for one. It turns

606
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: off people, It sets off your mood, It causes fights,

607
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,919
Speaker 1: it causes jealousy and anxiety. That is worse than being

608
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: where you are now. Listen. I saw this Bonanza episode.

609
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: It's an old western a long time ago. It impacted

610
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: me so much. I was a kid when I saw this,

611
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: and I still think about it. But these cowboys go

612
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: up this mountain a long way and there's this old

613
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,320
Speaker 1: man at the top of the mountain in a cabin.

614
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: The cowboys come in and they say, you live here

615
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: all alone. The old guy says, yep. One of the

616
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,879
Speaker 1: cowboys says, must be lonely. The old man looks him

617
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,800
Speaker 1: dead in the eye and says, it's better to be

618
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. I never forgot that.

619
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 1: That's you. That is your email. It is better to

620
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: be lonely alone than lonely with somebody else. Can I

621
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: say it again louder please, so y'all could hear me.

622
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 1: It's better to be lonely alone than lonely with somebody else.

623
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: If you get desperate, if you stop being content with

624
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 1: who you are, you are going to get into a

625
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 1: relationship where you are lonely alone. And that's a bad

626
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: place to be. Wait. Work on contentment, work on your shyness.

627
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: Small increments, you'll get there. It will happen. Getting all

628
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 1: worked up today, y'all. Next question, subject line says, I

629
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: just graduated high school and I'm seeking advice. Hey, Grangeer,

630
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: just graduated high school. I have a great girlfriend. I'm

631
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: currently living at home. I'm hoping to get married in

632
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 1: two to three years. I'm eighteen. I want to move out,

633
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 1: but I think it's not the right move because I

634
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: also want to be saving money for my future. Any

635
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: advice you could give me would be amazing. By the way,

636
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 1: my name is whalan great name Whalen. Thanks for the email. Brother.

637
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: We are continuing the theme here on today's episode, So

638
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,439
Speaker 1: here's what I wan to say about this. You are

639
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: currently living at home, you're hoping to get married in

640
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: two to three years, and you're eighteen, and you want

641
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: to move out, but you don't think it's the right

642
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: move because you want to save money. I don't ever, ever,

643
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: I don't ever think it's the right thing to do

644
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 1: to live at home to save money when you're eighteen. No,

645
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: I wouldn't let I'm not going to let my kids

646
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: do it. My parents didn't let me do it. Get

647
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: out of the house. Eighteen is a good age. If

648
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: you look back in history and you look at all

649
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: the different cultures and tru of humans, there was always

650
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: something set up about your age about eighteen where you

651
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 1: kicked them out of the nest because that is the

652
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: best education you could have. Saving money is not a

653
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 1: good enough reason to live at home. I know a

654
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: lot of people are disagreeing right now as they're listening.

655
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: No way, no way, save money. No, get out of

656
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 1: the house. Pack your bags today when you hear this podcast,

657
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: and get out and go find a job and learn

658
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:37,240
Speaker 1: how to earn money, and learn how to pay bills

659
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: on an apartment and utilities. I don't care if you

660
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: have to stay on someone's couch and pay them for

661
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: the couch, pay someone thirty dollars a month to stay

662
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: on their couch whatever. This is not about money. Saving

663
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 1: money in your parents' house will be lost in the

664
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: long run. It is not a good financial plan to

665
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: save money on rent so that you could build it

666
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 1: up so you can get married in three years when

667
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: you're twenty one, which is super young to be married.

668
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 1: Have I not proven that point already with a nineteen

669
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: year old who got married and now he's worried it

670
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 1: was too soon. These are warning signs. Get out of

671
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 1: the house, get a job, go to a trade school

672
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: and work a double job to pay for the trade school.

673
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 1: Get a cheap apartment, Live on a friend's couch, Live

674
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 1: in a friend's laundry room with towels and a pillow.

675
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: Get out of the house. It is not a good

676
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: financial plan to stay and save money from mommy and

677
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,399
Speaker 1: daddy as they make you grilled cheese sandwiches. I am

678
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: not trying to offend you. Please, Whylan, don't take this

679
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:54,520
Speaker 1: as an offensive statement. I'm saying it because I genuinely

680
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: have a love for you and all the people that

681
00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: email because we have a connection through this pot and

682
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: through ye nation. And I have zero reason to stand

683
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: on a pedestal and look down on anybody and to

684
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: judge anybody. I have zero reason, like I will not

685
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: do this podcast if it's about me flexing and trying

686
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:15,840
Speaker 1: to judge and say I'm better. That's not what this

687
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: is about. And I am genuinely saying this out of

688
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 1: love for you, because I genuinely feel like this is

689
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 1: the best move for you to be your best person,

690
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: for you to gain Did you hear me talk to

691
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: the guy right before this that was shy, or the

692
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: girl that was shy, or guy all of them guys, girls,

693
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: they're shy. That this shyness is cultivated by living at

694
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: home for too long. What makes you an outgoing person

695
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: is getting out of the house and renting an apartment

696
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 1: or a couch or a laundry room with a towel

697
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: and learning that responsibility of paining utilities of oh my rents,

698
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,279
Speaker 1: my electric bills late, they're going to cut it off.

699
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:03,879
Speaker 1: I remember me at that age, electric bill going late

700
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,360
Speaker 1: and the guy coming down the street and flipping the

701
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: switch at seven am while I'm still in bed, and

702
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 1: the power goes off in the summertime in Texas and

703
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: the air conditioning stops because I didn't pay the bill

704
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,479
Speaker 1: on time. Like, those are life lessons that I can't

705
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: learn at mommy and Daddy's house while she's making me

706
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 1: honey nut cheerios. This is so valuable. That money that

707
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: you're saving is not worth it because it's worthless because

708
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: you don't know how to save it or spend it.

709
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: You will learn that when the electricity gets cut off

710
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 1: in the summer and you don't have a girl cheese

711
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,760
Speaker 1: and honey nut cheerios in the cabinet. You go, Okay,

712
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 1: I need to straighten myself up. I need to go out.

713
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: I need to ask for a raise. I need to

714
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: get a second job. I need to go to trade

715
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: school or go to college. I need to look for

716
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: a scholarship. I need to work a third job. To

717
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: figure this out, and then guess what happens all that,

718
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: through those life circumstances, through that electricity getting cut off,

719
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 1: through the empty honey nut cheerios box, now you're learning

720
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 1: how to make money and save it and budget it

721
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: and spend it in the right ways. Now you're learning.

722
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: Now you're on a path it doesn't matter how much

723
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 1: two or three thousand dollars you saved it. Mommy's get out.

724
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: It's going to prove something to this current girlfriend. You

725
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: have to tell her this. Say it's time for me

726
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 1: to be a man. I'm old enough to go to

727
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: the military. I'm old enough to learn how to be

728
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: a man, and that starts with me leaving the nest,

729
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: getting kicked out and going and starting my life. Do this,

730
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: do this? Whalan anyone else listening? You're disagreeing. I already

731
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,240
Speaker 1: know it. If this goes on TikTok, you're gonna comment

732
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 1: and say you hate me and I'm wrong? Am I

733
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 1: the am I? It's interesting. Let's hit one more question.

734
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: What should I go to next? How about this one?

735
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: Anxiety and depression? Hey Granger, Lately my life has been

736
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: throwing shots at me and it doesn't feel like I'm

737
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 1: strong enough for it. Every day gets a little harder,

738
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: and I really don't see a good reason to stay

739
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 1: around if life always hurts this bad every day. I'm

740
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: so anxious, always worrying. It feels like my brain is

741
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:25,760
Speaker 1: attacking me. Let me rephrase that. It says it feels

742
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: like my brain is under attack. And I'm the one

743
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: attacking it. I feel like it's always my fault and

744
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: I feel this way and blame myself and I can't

745
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 1: fix it. I'm at a loss. Any advice is helpful.

746
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:42,719
Speaker 1: Thank you. Question comes from Drayton. Drayton, because you asked him,

747
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 1: because you came to this podcast. I will tell you

748
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: that Jesus says, come to him. His yoke is easy

749
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:58,239
Speaker 1: and his burden is light. Bring your cares to him,

750
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: Lay it at his feet, surrender to him as the

751
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: one and only God in the flesh, who came to

752
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:11,320
Speaker 1: earth two thousand years ago, was crucified, bore the weight

753
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: of our sins, supplemented all of our problems, all of

754
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: our inequity, and inequitd in all of our things. I

755
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: am so worked up right now from this, from this podcast.

756
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: Lay it all at his feet, Go to him, run

757
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: to him, and the power, the power of God is

758
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: in the Gospel. What I'm telling you right now this

759
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 1: is in Romans one. You are lost, you're under attack,

760
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: you're worrying, you're anxious, and that is normal. That is

761
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 1: a normal human thing. I've been there, I felt it.

762
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 1: This is uh, this is the greatest day of your

763
00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: lif if you listen to me, and if you don't

764
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 1: listen to me, then you're gonna see more of the same.

765
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: Run to him, Get on your knees and say, Granger

766
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 1: said that there's this, that you're out there Jesus, and

767
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: that you have you've taken the weight of all my

768
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 1: burden on your shoulders with your blood, through your sacrifice.

769
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,760
Speaker 1: That you were resurrected three days after you were killed.

770
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:30,799
Speaker 1: That's miraculous. That's never happened ever in human history. No

771
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: human has died and three days later come back to life.

772
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:40,359
Speaker 1: That is something only God can do. Why why did

773
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: he do that? Read about it. That's the story of

774
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: the gospel. You learn that you go to his feet

775
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 1: and you lay it all down, and you will be restored, renewed.

776
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 1: You will replace this anxiety and worrying and anxiousness. You'll

777
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 1: replace it all for hope, hope. That cannot lead us astray.

778
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: It cannot be something that lets us down. This is

779
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 1: the best news I could ever tell you, Drayden. I

780
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,479
Speaker 1: could go so much deeper into this, and I could

781
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 1: analyze your question, but you didn't go into any detail,

782
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 1: and so I'm not gonna need to go into any

783
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: detail besides run to Jesus. If you don't hear that message,

784
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: then you're gonna join a lot of people that don't.

785
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: But if you do, you're gonna join a few that do.

786
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: And you're gonna feel it and then email me back

787
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: and say I feel it. Email me back, Drayton. I

788
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 1: love you guys. Sorry, I got so worked up on

789
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:47,399
Speaker 1: this podcast. Let's see you next Monday. Thanks for joining

790
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,319
Speaker 1: me on the granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of

791
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: you guys. You could help me out by rating this

792
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel.

793
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: Hit that little like button and notification spell that you

794
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have

795
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,

796
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye