WEBVTT - I Choose ... MORE with Constance Zimmer

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome

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<v Speaker 1>back to I Choose Me. I'm talking to Constant Zimmer,

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<v Speaker 1>who has just been nominated for an Emmy, you guys

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<v Speaker 1>for her role in Love Story. She absolutely shines as

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<v Speaker 1>Carolyn Bessett's mother Anne. Bravo, my friend. I can't wait

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<v Speaker 1>for you all to hear the rest of our conversation,

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<v Speaker 1>so let's jump back in. Congrats, Constant, so excited for you.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to talk to you about female friendships because

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<v Speaker 1>I know our kids went to school. First of all,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody not in the same grade, but we would see

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<v Speaker 1>each other on campus a lot. The female friendships are

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<v Speaker 1>talked about a lot, and some, you know, stay, some go.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you had the same friends forever or do you

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<v Speaker 1>find that people come in and out of your life

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<v Speaker 1>for whatever reason?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm my friendships keep changing, altering, some by choice,

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<v Speaker 2>some not by choice. I definitely in this mid life range.

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<v Speaker 2>I have met a whole new group of friends that

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<v Speaker 2>I have become closer to in a shorter amount of

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<v Speaker 2>time because we're so open and so honest, and we

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<v Speaker 2>talk about everything, and so all of a sudden, you've

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<v Speaker 2>become so close so fast, which that I did not

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<v Speaker 2>anticipate or see.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, you know, Heidi, who is my co.

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<v Speaker 2>Host and of the podcast, like I met her in

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<v Speaker 2>twenty twenty during COVID, you know, over Zoom because of

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<v Speaker 2>a project that she was the writer and showrunner of

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<v Speaker 2>and I was attached as the star. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and she has in these last years, I mean, she's

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<v Speaker 2>become like my closest and nearest and dearest friend.

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<v Speaker 3>And did I see that happening.

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<v Speaker 2>No, But she came at me with such a presence

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<v Speaker 2>and an honesty and like a mentor that I had

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<v Speaker 2>really never had before. And I was like, ooh, this

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<v Speaker 2>is cool, Like that's what sixty looks like. Holy shit,

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<v Speaker 2>it's amazing. So like, I, you know, I've noticed that

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<v Speaker 2>a couple of my friends that are much younger than me,

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<v Speaker 2>because I have a lot of friends that are much

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<v Speaker 2>younger than me, and they I don't think they've not

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<v Speaker 2>understood this transition, right, And I don't know how to

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<v Speaker 2>explain it except to say, like you'll.

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<v Speaker 3>See, like shit shifts changes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it's like and it's not that I do

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<v Speaker 2>not love those friends any less, it's just there's a

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<v Speaker 2>whole different, all these different mind fields that I need

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<v Speaker 2>to go through with other people that are experiencing it

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time.

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<v Speaker 3>So I know through it. That's about hard.

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<v Speaker 1>And also you accepting the fact that men having mentors,

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<v Speaker 1>having other women that you look up to and that

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<v Speaker 1>you learn from. That was a whole new feeling for

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<v Speaker 1>me after I turned fifty. Like I don't know why exactly,

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<v Speaker 1>but it definitely changed. And so the other friends that

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<v Speaker 1>weren't teaching me or showing me by example or sort

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<v Speaker 1>of leading the way, I was less interested in hanging

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<v Speaker 1>out with because I want, I so desperately want to

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<v Speaker 1>grow and evolve and you know, be the best person

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<v Speaker 1>I can be. And you sort of like weed out

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<v Speaker 1>the fringe, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I think too, think about it right, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean again, I can say this because this is our experience,

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<v Speaker 2>which is, you know, when you have kids, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>whole group of friends that become your friends because your kids,

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<v Speaker 2>and then the kids get older and the kids start

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<v Speaker 2>having opinions, and then you lose those friendships because the

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<v Speaker 2>kids are not friends anymore. And you're like, you really

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<v Speaker 2>like the parents, but wait, I have to go do

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<v Speaker 2>a play date over here, and so I can't come

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<v Speaker 2>over here now. And then that like weirdly just starts

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<v Speaker 2>to transition away.

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<v Speaker 1>Does it fizzle out for you? Or you the person

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<v Speaker 1>that's like, hey, this relationship is kind of reached its end.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you like you know? Because I don't, I never

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<v Speaker 1>know what to do, you know, you start to like

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<v Speaker 1>not talk as much. And then because I have, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and being older, having been through all those phases, and

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<v Speaker 1>now my younger friends who are going, you know, having

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<v Speaker 1>their kids and their lives are full of kids stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking, Okay, well, I feel as if I've lost

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<v Speaker 1>a friend, but I fully understand where they are in

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<v Speaker 1>their life and what's their priorities. But now, at a

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<v Speaker 1>certain age, you really the divide happens.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I definitely think it was a again that goes

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<v Speaker 2>back to people pleasing right that, like I think I

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<v Speaker 2>would let things, I would hold on for dear life. No,

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<v Speaker 2>come on, come on, come on, please still like me,

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<v Speaker 2>we still like each other. Let's make it work, let's

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<v Speaker 2>figure it out, please please please, And so then it

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<v Speaker 2>would become more of like, you know, a fizzle out,

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<v Speaker 2>whereas at this age, I'm like, I don't know the

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<v Speaker 2>fucking time right, it's just the band with no yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're just like, either I can meet you or

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<v Speaker 2>I can't. Like, that's it and that's all I can

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<v Speaker 2>give you. And if you're gonna be mad at me,

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna be mad at me. I'm sorry, but that's

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<v Speaker 2>all I can do right now. So if you're okay

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<v Speaker 2>with that, great, Because like, I have friendships with girls

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<v Speaker 2>that I've known since I was eighteen, and I talked

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<v Speaker 2>to them once a year and it's okay because we're

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<v Speaker 2>living our lives and we're grown ass fucking women.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody's mad about you not calling them.

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, for the first time in my life, I

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<v Speaker 2>forgot my friend's birthday. And this is one of my

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<v Speaker 2>friends I've known since I was eighteen, and I remember

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<v Speaker 2>the day the next day and I texted her.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was like, oh my god, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 3>oh my god, I forgot.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't fucking wish you happy birthday and your birthday,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry, and I felt horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been there, yes.

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<v Speaker 2>And she said, you have so much going on. I

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<v Speaker 2>do not fault you at all.

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<v Speaker 3>You know you're here, you're saying it now.

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<v Speaker 2>I love you, you know, it's okay. And I was like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And that we don't we shouldn't have to have that

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<v Speaker 1>validation in order for it to be okay. We should

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<v Speaker 1>be able to sort of like comfort ourselves and remind ourselves,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, you're dealing with a lot right now.

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<v Speaker 1>But I still feel guilty though, you know, like I

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<v Speaker 1>still feel that like I've disappointed them or I'm letting

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<v Speaker 1>them down. Yeah, but it's just the way it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it's also like, yeah, because I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>you were this in your life, but like I was

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<v Speaker 2>always the friend that always put the card in the mail,

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<v Speaker 2>that always remembered the birthday, that always got the present,

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<v Speaker 2>that set up the lunch, that set up the breakfast

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<v Speaker 2>to celebrate that da da and that just started going

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<v Speaker 2>away because I was like I can't I can't hold

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<v Speaker 2>it all together. I can't hold everybody together. Like someone's

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<v Speaker 2>got to help pick up the slack hair.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, definitely, I've absolutely felt that shift because all my

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<v Speaker 1>life I was like the one that did the planning

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<v Speaker 1>and made it all happen and had the special celebrations

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<v Speaker 1>for Easter, whatever, like hosted the parties. I just can't

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<v Speaker 1>do it anymore, like physically and mentally cannot do it.

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<v Speaker 3>But that goes back to people pleasing.

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<v Speaker 1>And then it ties into not giving a fuck yeah anymore. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm sorry if that's disappointing to someone. And it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean I don't tricky, because that can be seen

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<v Speaker 1>as like, oh, you're so wrapped up in yourself in

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<v Speaker 1>your career and you know all of that, But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I am right now, Urry, I've spent my whole life,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, raising you have one of three, raising these

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<v Speaker 1>humans that took all of me, and now I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to give myself some of that attention.

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<v Speaker 3>And hm, right, well, and I think too.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen again, it's a man's world, right, Like, anytime a

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<v Speaker 2>woman puts herself first, it is looked down upon. And

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<v Speaker 2>that is even someone who decides not to get married

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<v Speaker 2>and not have kids.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like, how selfish? How dare you?

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<v Speaker 2>And it's like, no, this is my choice and what

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<v Speaker 2>I want to do for my life, right, But nobody

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<v Speaker 2>would ever look at a man who decided to not

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<v Speaker 2>get married and not have kids and be.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, how dare you?

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<v Speaker 2>How selfish of you instead they're like, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>you built a multi billion billion dollar company because you

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<v Speaker 2>put yourself first.

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<v Speaker 3>How cool? So it's that's all it is is.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just like we have been fashioned and told that

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<v Speaker 2>when we put ourselves first, we are being selfish. And

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<v Speaker 2>what happens later in life is less people are paying

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<v Speaker 2>attention to you. So you realize, oh, I can go

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<v Speaker 2>put myself first and some people might not even notice,

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<v Speaker 2>Like it's this weird permission of a tunnel that you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>are people even going to see that I didn't do that?

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<v Speaker 3>Like you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>I know, it's so liberating though it's my last thing ever. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>when you are paid less attention to, Like I know,

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<v Speaker 1>it doesn't sound like that could possibly be true, but

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<v Speaker 1>there's such other it's like a freedom in it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you know, I'm curious. Did you have you read

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<v Speaker 2>this book called The Upgrade?

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<v Speaker 3>No? Oh my god, Jenny.

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<v Speaker 2>That book also got me through the weird three years

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<v Speaker 2>of confusion because Luanne Brisandine, who is a neurological doctor, scientist,

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<v Speaker 2>like fucking supernova of a woman, she doesn't talk about

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't use the word perimenopause or menopause. She only

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<v Speaker 2>uses the word the upgrade because she talks about how

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<v Speaker 2>physically our bodies are shifting to put ourselves first. So

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<v Speaker 2>it is something that you actually cannot stop from happening,

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<v Speaker 2>even if you try and fight it, it will fight back.

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<v Speaker 2>Parts of your brain are shrinking and others are growing.

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<v Speaker 2>And every time I would read a chapter or I

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<v Speaker 2>would listen to her talking about it.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, Oh my god, yes, that's what it is.

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<v Speaker 2>How fucking crazy that nobody has said that this time

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<v Speaker 2>in our lives is an upgrade.

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<v Speaker 4>It's a trip, and you don't talk about it until

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<v Speaker 4>you've experienced it, and then you're like, I have to

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<v Speaker 4>tell everyone that this is what happens just authentically to

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<v Speaker 4>women as we get older.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's the best. It's like. And I would always

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<v Speaker 1>think when people would say, oh, I love being fifty

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like thirty, I'd like, what are you

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<v Speaker 1>talking about? But it's it's fifties are the greatest, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, talking to Heidi, she said that sixties are

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<v Speaker 1>even better. I feel like there's, you know, so much

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<v Speaker 1>around the conversations that we're allowed to have now as

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<v Speaker 1>women our age, and that we're there were allowing ourselves

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<v Speaker 1>to have unapologetically that is changing just the narrative for

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<v Speaker 1>the future for our girls.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, and I mean it is.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I hate for us to take all the credit,

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<v Speaker 2>but gen X is fucking kicking ass in the awareness

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<v Speaker 2>and conversations around what it means to be a woman

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<v Speaker 2>in her fifties to day, to not compare me to

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<v Speaker 2>a woman in her fifties even from ten years ago,

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<v Speaker 2>because there is we are the first generation as like

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<v Speaker 2>in Mass right in Mass that is really making it

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<v Speaker 2>a movement and giving the power back to women so

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<v Speaker 2>they can be excited about getting here. And then we'll

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<v Speaker 2>do it for sixty, We'll do it for seventy, and

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<v Speaker 2>we'll do it for eighty.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll just keep setting this new standard.

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<v Speaker 1>New norm. Yeah it's acceptable.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's so good.

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<v Speaker 1>Feels really it feels really good. How would you say

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<v Speaker 1>that your path to motherhood affected like the trajectory of

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<v Speaker 1>your career and your life because you're a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>years older than me, and you waited a little longer

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<v Speaker 1>to have your daughter in your life than I did.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a really young mom by you know, people's standards.

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<v Speaker 1>But do you think like, how did how did becoming

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<v Speaker 1>a mom. Just change you.

0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, I you know, I have a silly story because

0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:52.320
<v Speaker 2>I met my second husband when I was thirty five,

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:58.959
<v Speaker 2>so I had already been married and divorced by thirty five, and.

0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:03.800
<v Speaker 3>I was told that I couldn't get pregnant.

0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 2>So I was like, I can willy nilly, like, no

0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:12.360
<v Speaker 2>birth control, get off birth control, don't use condoms. I

0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:18.839
<v Speaker 2>can't get pregnant with my husband now. And we had

0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:22.920
<v Speaker 2>only been together for a year. And I was going

0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.760
<v Speaker 2>in to get my blood work done because I was

0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:28.960
<v Speaker 2>gonna go have surgery because I had fibroids in my uterus,

0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:30.920
<v Speaker 2>which is why they tell you can't get pregnant.

0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>Pregnant.

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't fucking believe that nonsense. So obviously I went

0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.000
<v Speaker 2>to go get my blood work to do my pre

0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 2>op for the surgery to go get the fibroids out,

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:43.840
<v Speaker 2>and the woman came back in and she was like,

0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:49.480
<v Speaker 2>you can't have the surgery because you're pregnant. I was like,

0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:52.520
<v Speaker 2>what the fuck are you talking about?

0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 1>What I want to find out?

0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:54.920
<v Speaker 3>I know.

0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I thought I was on an episode of Punked with

0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.520
<v Speaker 2>Ashton Kutcher, because that was a big show at the time,

0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.200
<v Speaker 2>and I was on a TV show and I thought,

0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.080
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I'm unpunked, I'm being pumped.

0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:05.160
<v Speaker 3>This is fucked up.

0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:06.320
<v Speaker 1>It's messed up.

0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:08.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and that wasn't the case.

0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.840
<v Speaker 2>And another part of the story is that me and

0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:15.680
<v Speaker 2>my now husband, we were on a break when I

0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:16.360
<v Speaker 2>found this out.

0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 3>So I was like, oh, what the fuck, what the fuck?

0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 3>What do I do?

0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.440
<v Speaker 2>But you know, lo and behold it worked out in

0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:28.400
<v Speaker 2>my favor and yeah, and we have an eighteen year

0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 2>old child, so it definitely changed me, just in a

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:40.040
<v Speaker 2>way that it was not my plan. So I was

0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.000
<v Speaker 2>just rolling with it as it came. And the writer strike,

0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:48.360
<v Speaker 2>that first writer strike, you know, seventeen sixteen years ago,

0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:53.440
<v Speaker 2>six fifteen whatever. Anyways, I that was happening.

0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:55.800
<v Speaker 3>While I was pregnant.

0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I did my whole pregnancy when like the

0:15:58.560 --> 0:16:00.840
<v Speaker 2>whole business was on strike. So like, oh, well, this

0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:07.040
<v Speaker 2>timing works out great. But yeah, I mean it shifted everything.

0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I think having a kid is a lot of fucking

0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:19.280
<v Speaker 2>work physically, emotionally, mentally.

0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:21.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's just.

0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:24.640
<v Speaker 1>Especially as they get older. Like I got to be honest,

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.560
<v Speaker 1>toddlers were easy, right, Like you fed them and you

0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.600
<v Speaker 1>clean up after them, and you put them to bed.

0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:36.320
<v Speaker 1>But didn't you know, having these young women daughters and

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:42.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, knowing what they're facing out there in the world. Yeah,

0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:45.920
<v Speaker 1>and not letting that just like consume you with concern

0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:46.560
<v Speaker 1>and worry.

0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:49.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, all of the above.

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think it's you know, what I've been

0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:56.800
<v Speaker 2>thinking about a lot lately is how we basically we

0:16:58.240 --> 0:16:59.480
<v Speaker 2>as a.

0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.320
<v Speaker 3>Species, we change every decade. We change.

0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:05.480
<v Speaker 2>So like when you think of a child, any child

0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:09.600
<v Speaker 2>from zero to ten, there's like.

0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.399
<v Speaker 3>Three four, five.

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Personalities in that first ten year block. Okay, Then from

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:24.840
<v Speaker 2>like ten to twenty, there's like definitely a lot of

0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:29.280
<v Speaker 2>personalities in there. Then you start going, oh then twenty

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.199
<v Speaker 2>to thirty, you know, it's a little less. Thirty to

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:37.239
<v Speaker 2>forty it was a little less, and like fifties is

0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:42.719
<v Speaker 2>why you go, oh, this is me this I figured

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.160
<v Speaker 2>it out right. So it's like you figure it out

0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:48.040
<v Speaker 2>and then you're like, oh, what is this this version

0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:51.840
<v Speaker 2>that has all those decades right? Like it's like that's

0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:53.639
<v Speaker 2>so interesting to me. So it's like why do.

0:17:53.720 --> 0:17:55.480
<v Speaker 1>They Why is it design that we have to wait

0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 1>so long to figure out who we are?

0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:01.200
<v Speaker 3>Because I think we need life. Yeah, you know what

0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:01.560
<v Speaker 3>I mean.

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:03.879
<v Speaker 1>But don't you think our kids feel like they know

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:06.840
<v Speaker 1>who they are? Like yes, I mean we probably thought

0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:08.720
<v Speaker 1>that too when we were their age.

0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:13.280
<v Speaker 2>That's what youth is for. I mean, youth is wasted

0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 2>on the young because it's you don't realize it until

0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:20.760
<v Speaker 2>that part is over and then you're like, oh shit,

0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:24.280
<v Speaker 2>did I use that time wisely? How did I do?

0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:27.960
<v Speaker 2>What did I do there? But yeah, I mean I

0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.480
<v Speaker 2>think that's just life. Like that's what life is for,

0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:36.000
<v Speaker 2>is being here and figuring out your your purpose And

0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:38.359
<v Speaker 2>a lot of times you don't know that until you've

0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:40.880
<v Speaker 2>tried things and that didn't work and this felt good

0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.439
<v Speaker 2>and that didn't feel good, and I don't know do.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:46.119
<v Speaker 1>You ever trip out on just like being a human

0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.160
<v Speaker 1>being every day?

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:48.439
<v Speaker 3>Like?

0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:49.680
<v Speaker 2>Who?

0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:50.160
<v Speaker 3>How?

0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:51.879
<v Speaker 1>Why?

0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:55.560
<v Speaker 3>Every single day? I do? I trip out more on it?

0:18:56.000 --> 0:19:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I'll be honest through grief because when you lose somebody

0:19:05.040 --> 0:19:08.280
<v Speaker 2>that you felt was going to be here forever or

0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:14.399
<v Speaker 2>that should still be here, it makes me look at

0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:20.400
<v Speaker 2>being a human so differently where you're just like why them?

0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 3>Like why? I am such an EmPATH?

0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:29.800
<v Speaker 2>And that is my hardest struggle as being an EmPATH

0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:35.760
<v Speaker 2>is I feel like there are way too many people

0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.159
<v Speaker 2>that are not here any longer that I do not

0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:43.720
<v Speaker 2>understand why. And then there are people who are here

0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.800
<v Speaker 2>and it feels like they're never going to fucking die,

0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:51.919
<v Speaker 2>And you're like, why when this person is alive and

0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.440
<v Speaker 2>they're causing so much pain?

0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.480
<v Speaker 3>Why, Like that is where I just I go why

0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:00.080
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't.

0:19:59.880 --> 0:20:00.600
<v Speaker 1>Mean any sense?

0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:03.040
<v Speaker 3>No, mm hmm.

0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Well you've been married to us, you're since twenty ten?

0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:09.959
<v Speaker 1>Is that correct?

0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:10.880
<v Speaker 3>Yes, very good.

0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:15.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm really inspired long you know, by long lasting marriages,

0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:19.159
<v Speaker 1>especially in the industry that we are in. Seems like,

0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:24.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, they're few and far between. My things and

0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.240
<v Speaker 1>flow right in a relationship, especially in the context of

0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:32.359
<v Speaker 1>the entertainment business, and you know, our travel schedules and

0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.840
<v Speaker 1>our workloads and like, you know, being pulled apart. I

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:38.440
<v Speaker 1>think a lot more than a normal couple would be.

0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:41.720
<v Speaker 1>My husband, by the way, also loves us.

0:20:41.960 --> 0:20:42.800
<v Speaker 3>You know that.

0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:47.120
<v Speaker 1>He's like I said, I'm having constant on the pod

0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:49.639
<v Speaker 1>today and he's like, oh my god, talking about her

0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:53.360
<v Speaker 1>husband and tell her I love them. Those two they

0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 1>could just talk and we could leave the building. It

0:20:56.480 --> 0:20:57.080
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't matter.

0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:58.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we could love.

0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:01.959
<v Speaker 1>What are your secrets?

0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:02.440
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 1>How do you choose your relationship. I mean now, especially

0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:10.360
<v Speaker 1>that your daughter is flowing the coop and she's doing

0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.080
<v Speaker 1>her thing as a young adult, like, how do you

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:19.680
<v Speaker 1>now shift and especially being women in our stage where

0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.160
<v Speaker 1>we are focusing more on ourselves, how do you keep

0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:29.720
<v Speaker 1>your relationship just as important? Because it, you know, it

0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.520
<v Speaker 1>has taken for me, it has taken up more of

0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:36.320
<v Speaker 1>a backseat that because of my daughters, right, and they

0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:40.119
<v Speaker 1>stop meeting you as much. And then you feel the gap,

0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:44.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, or the the absence that you notice it,

0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:46.879
<v Speaker 1>and then you're like, Okay, I got to start working

0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:52.280
<v Speaker 1>on this relationship more. What is your secret to you know?

0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:57.719
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that I have a secret, because I

0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:00.760
<v Speaker 2>think some days I'm not doing it very well at

0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:02.879
<v Speaker 2>all at all.

0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:05.160
<v Speaker 3>I think the.

0:22:06.600 --> 0:22:10.280
<v Speaker 2>Going through the confusion of menopause before people were talking

0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:14.760
<v Speaker 2>about it was our most challenging time because I didn't

0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:17.520
<v Speaker 2>understand what was happening to me.

0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:22.440
<v Speaker 3>Yep, and he didn't either, no exactly.

0:22:22.680 --> 0:22:28.000
<v Speaker 2>And you know the greatest thing that I would say

0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:29.520
<v Speaker 2>if you, I wouldn't even call it a secret.

0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:31.080
<v Speaker 3>I would tell it type every.

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Woman, don't keep it a secret during this transition of

0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 2>life is when you learn something teach them because it

0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:46.879
<v Speaker 2>helps them to understand that it's not personal, right, because

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:52.639
<v Speaker 2>all of it feels very personal, and I would get

0:22:52.680 --> 0:22:55.320
<v Speaker 2>mad that I was like, this is not about you,

0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:59.440
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know what is happening or anything. I

0:22:59.480 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>don't know what what's going on, and so like I

0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:05.879
<v Speaker 2>take I took Russ on board for like some of

0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 2>my projects, some of my midlife projects, because I wanted

0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:12.719
<v Speaker 2>him to read all the stuff I was reading.

0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 3>I wanted him like he would at the end of

0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:15.840
<v Speaker 3>the day.

0:23:15.880 --> 0:23:17.679
<v Speaker 2>He'd be like, oh my god, I just read this

0:23:17.800 --> 0:23:23.320
<v Speaker 2>insane study. You know that women between you know, forty

0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:26.879
<v Speaker 2>five and fifty five is the highest percentage of divorce.

0:23:27.520 --> 0:23:29.840
<v Speaker 2>And he's like that is so trippy. You know, it's

0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:33.040
<v Speaker 2>like so like it was. It was bringing him into

0:23:33.080 --> 0:23:35.840
<v Speaker 2>the conversation, not not pushing him out and going like

0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:39.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to go figure this out without you, because

0:23:39.800 --> 0:23:42.320
<v Speaker 2>once he was getting the knowledge that I was getting,

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:48.520
<v Speaker 2>there was a softness and a like holy shit, like

0:23:48.640 --> 0:23:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm so.

0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, man, look at I see what you're dealing with

0:23:52.119 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 1>now in a different way.

0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you have to bring them into the conversations. They

0:23:57.280 --> 0:23:58.639
<v Speaker 2>wanted me such good advice.

0:23:58.800 --> 0:24:02.720
<v Speaker 1>No, seriously, because I think our tendency is to hunker

0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:08.360
<v Speaker 1>down and figure our shit out, and then we really

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:10.919
<v Speaker 1>expect ourselves to act a different way because of what

0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:13.880
<v Speaker 1>we know now. But the other your partner is kind

0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:17.520
<v Speaker 1>of clueless to your whole journey. So it's really important.

0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:20.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And there is like a whole movement out there

0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:27.840
<v Speaker 2>of men who are actually like doing these kinds of

0:24:28.080 --> 0:24:31.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, videos about like you have a partner or

0:24:31.359 --> 0:24:34.280
<v Speaker 2>a wife or a you know, somebody, a mom, a

0:24:34.320 --> 0:24:37.360
<v Speaker 2>sibling or whatever going through this time, Like here are

0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:40.720
<v Speaker 2>the things you need to realize, Be patient, be kind,

0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:43.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, you know, it's like all and and I

0:24:43.720 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 2>don't know, maybe it's easier coming from another man, but

0:24:46.960 --> 0:24:50.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, I loved it because Russ would go and

0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:54.119
<v Speaker 2>have coffee with his friends who were also in marriages

0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:57.479
<v Speaker 2>or relationships with women at this age too, and and

0:24:57.520 --> 0:24:58.040
<v Speaker 2>he was like.

0:24:58.000 --> 0:24:59.680
<v Speaker 3>Well, have you talked to them about this, that and

0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:00.320
<v Speaker 3>the other thing?

0:25:00.640 --> 0:25:04.639
<v Speaker 2>And he realized that he was becoming the guy that

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:08.440
<v Speaker 2>was helping the other guys. And I was like, oh,

0:25:08.520 --> 0:25:11.000
<v Speaker 2>that's so sweet, you know, like I love the ear

0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.760
<v Speaker 2>sharing your information and not feeling.

0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:16.760
<v Speaker 3>Weird about like going.

0:25:16.480 --> 0:25:18.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh, like we had a tough time, like that was

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:22.760
<v Speaker 2>hard getting through that period, and so that I thought

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:23.320
<v Speaker 2>was really good.

0:25:23.359 --> 0:25:25.040
<v Speaker 3>So like, really, that's that's it.

0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:27.719
<v Speaker 2>The secret is just not keeping them out of the

0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:30.800
<v Speaker 2>conversation or the knowledge that you're learning whatever you're going

0:25:30.840 --> 0:25:37.920
<v Speaker 2>through in life.

0:25:38.800 --> 0:25:42.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So in twenty twenty, you turn fifty. Yeah, and

0:25:42.960 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 1>to celebrate the milestone, you co founded a media company

0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:49.640
<v Speaker 1>called The Midlife Collective what you were just talking about,

0:25:49.760 --> 0:25:53.440
<v Speaker 1>and you launched your podcast Talk fifty to Me, which

0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:54.440
<v Speaker 1>I am excited to be on.

0:25:55.440 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 3>We were so excited to have you with your.

0:25:58.320 --> 0:25:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Writer partner Heidi.

0:25:59.800 --> 0:26:00.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:02.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you've described the show as sort of a

0:26:02.800 --> 0:26:07.440
<v Speaker 1>reframing of your fifties fiercely funny and frank conversations, which

0:26:07.480 --> 0:26:10.560
<v Speaker 1>I love. Tell me more about the media company aspect

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:10.800
<v Speaker 1>of it.

0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:15.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, there was the podcast idea with Heidi, because Heidi

0:26:15.600 --> 0:26:18.679
<v Speaker 2>had such a following and women would meet her on

0:26:18.720 --> 0:26:21.440
<v Speaker 2>the street and they would like cry their eyes out

0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:23.800
<v Speaker 2>and say like thank you so much. I feel seen

0:26:24.320 --> 0:26:26.080
<v Speaker 2>for the first time in my life. And I was like,

0:26:26.119 --> 0:26:26.600
<v Speaker 2>oh my god.

0:26:26.640 --> 0:26:28.720
<v Speaker 1>Because of the characters she was writing.

0:26:29.160 --> 0:26:32.840
<v Speaker 3>No, because of who she was on Instagram and TikTok.

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:35.120
<v Speaker 1>Right, just being her authentic self.

0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:37.840
<v Speaker 2>Right, and I was like, this is crazy. We need

0:26:37.880 --> 0:26:42.440
<v Speaker 2>to get this out in a bigger arena. And then

0:26:42.480 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 2>I had the idea of what to do with all

0:26:45.359 --> 0:26:47.800
<v Speaker 2>these women that are out of work in their fifties,

0:26:48.160 --> 0:26:51.040
<v Speaker 2>because there's a lot of us. And I was like,

0:26:52.119 --> 0:26:56.680
<v Speaker 2>where is the play like the Vagina Monologues. So then

0:26:56.720 --> 0:26:59.640
<v Speaker 2>I had the idea to create a play called the

0:26:59.640 --> 0:27:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Midlife Monologues. And what I did is I created a

0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:07.240
<v Speaker 2>got a creative community of like a hundred women which

0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:12.840
<v Speaker 2>you now need to come and join us, and that

0:27:13.040 --> 0:27:16.880
<v Speaker 2>is like the Vagina Monologues, but for women in midlife

0:27:16.920 --> 0:27:21.320
<v Speaker 2>to show one they can't not cast us because you

0:27:21.600 --> 0:27:25.600
<v Speaker 2>need me, you need us, and also to show why

0:27:25.920 --> 0:27:29.359
<v Speaker 2>storytelling is missing for this decade of a woman's life.

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:33.280
<v Speaker 2>So then I developed I'm in development on that. And

0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:40.399
<v Speaker 2>then I was like, we got approached to me and

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:44.160
<v Speaker 2>the woman who are co creators of Midlife Monologues, Abbi Epstein,

0:27:44.359 --> 0:27:47.200
<v Speaker 2>who's a documentary filmmaker who did the business of being

0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:50.120
<v Speaker 2>born with Ricky Lake and did the business of birth control,

0:27:50.200 --> 0:27:56.840
<v Speaker 2>and we partnered and then we got approached to co

0:27:57.000 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 2>direct a documentary called Her Second End Act.

0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:03.280
<v Speaker 3>Because of the Midlife.

0:28:02.840 --> 0:28:08.160
<v Speaker 2>Monologues, and so we're also directing this documentary, and so

0:28:08.200 --> 0:28:10.119
<v Speaker 2>we were like, what do we do with all of

0:28:10.160 --> 0:28:13.080
<v Speaker 2>these projects, Like we need to we need a place

0:28:13.200 --> 0:28:14.200
<v Speaker 2>for everything to come.

0:28:14.680 --> 0:28:18.040
<v Speaker 3>So it's this. We call it like our tent, you know,

0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:19.600
<v Speaker 3>like our umbrella.

0:28:19.760 --> 0:28:23.080
<v Speaker 2>Is we all of these projects are under this umbrella.

0:28:23.560 --> 0:28:26.439
<v Speaker 2>And then what we wanted to do was use it

0:28:26.520 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 2>as a place for everyone with midlife stories, everybody using

0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:34.919
<v Speaker 2>their platform to be so that you could have like

0:28:34.960 --> 0:28:38.240
<v Speaker 2>a one stop shop like what are the best books

0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:40.880
<v Speaker 2>about midlife or aging or being in your fifties or

0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:43.800
<v Speaker 2>perimenopause or whatever. What are the best TV shows? What

0:28:43.840 --> 0:28:47.480
<v Speaker 2>are the podcasts, what are the So we're just gathering

0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:52.160
<v Speaker 2>all of this information about this time and putting it

0:28:52.240 --> 0:28:55.280
<v Speaker 2>under this umbrella so that people will have one place

0:28:55.320 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 2>to go to kind of decide like, oh, I want

0:28:59.400 --> 0:29:01.560
<v Speaker 2>to watch a movie that's about this, I want to

0:29:01.600 --> 0:29:03.600
<v Speaker 2>read a book, I want to listen to a podcast.

0:29:03.920 --> 0:29:06.720
<v Speaker 3>So that's what the media company is.

0:29:06.760 --> 0:29:13.480
<v Speaker 2>And then eventually we would like to help push people's stories,

0:29:13.640 --> 0:29:16.800
<v Speaker 2>whether it's getting an IP for a book and saying

0:29:16.880 --> 0:29:18.840
<v Speaker 2>we will get this book made, we will get your

0:29:18.880 --> 0:29:22.360
<v Speaker 2>script made, we will try and sell this TV show,

0:29:22.480 --> 0:29:27.520
<v Speaker 2>like basically using the power of all the celebrities that

0:29:27.600 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 2>we have in the community to say, oh, I can

0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:31.360
<v Speaker 2>get that script to Jenny Garth.

0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:35.720
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I will call her. I will. So that's what

0:29:35.880 --> 0:29:37.000
<v Speaker 3>the company.

0:29:36.680 --> 0:29:41.360
<v Speaker 1>Is for, is it's like a LinkedIn Yeah pretty much. Yeah,

0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:45.680
<v Speaker 1>exactly in mid life women that have amazing ideas and

0:29:46.280 --> 0:29:48.600
<v Speaker 1>needs and it's.

0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:51.479
<v Speaker 2>Great, yeah and need more, need more eyeballs, you know,

0:29:51.560 --> 0:29:54.640
<v Speaker 2>and how can we help you? Like it's like Julie

0:29:54.680 --> 0:29:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Fla said, who is one of our founders? So it's

0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:01.520
<v Speaker 2>myself Abby Epstein and Julie Fla said founded the Midlife Collective.

0:30:01.560 --> 0:30:05.000
<v Speaker 2>But she always says, like all ships rise, and like

0:30:05.120 --> 0:30:09.400
<v Speaker 2>right now with the Midlife Collective, we're on tour and

0:30:09.440 --> 0:30:13.640
<v Speaker 2>we're doing this dressing Room Confessions tour, which we started

0:30:13.680 --> 0:30:16.000
<v Speaker 2>for the Midlife Monologues. It was like a way to

0:30:16.040 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 2>get out into the public and get women to give

0:30:18.920 --> 0:30:22.280
<v Speaker 2>their anonymous stories so that we could use that storytelling

0:30:22.400 --> 0:30:26.120
<v Speaker 2>in creating the play. And then we had to stop

0:30:26.640 --> 0:30:28.960
<v Speaker 2>taking stories because we had to write the play. So

0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 2>now those stories are a part of the documentary, which

0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:35.479
<v Speaker 2>are then a part of gathering statistics like what are

0:30:35.520 --> 0:30:37.760
<v Speaker 2>pim women lacking. What are they the most mad about,

0:30:37.800 --> 0:30:42.600
<v Speaker 2>the most ashamed of, the most wish that they had

0:30:42.640 --> 0:30:46.640
<v Speaker 2>in their community. And we've been on tour with this

0:30:47.040 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 2>and that's also a part of Midlife Collective, is gathering

0:30:50.600 --> 0:30:55.880
<v Speaker 2>stories for the documentary and just to use so that

0:30:55.920 --> 0:30:59.400
<v Speaker 2>all women can see they're not alone. Because the stories,

0:30:59.440 --> 0:31:04.400
<v Speaker 2>when you give somebody a place to just anonymously kind

0:31:04.440 --> 0:31:10.520
<v Speaker 2>of talk to themselves in the mirror, it's really incredibly

0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:12.760
<v Speaker 2>moving and raw.

0:31:13.480 --> 0:31:16.680
<v Speaker 3>And it's been a part of this.

0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.560
<v Speaker 2>You know, I didn't I had no idea this was

0:31:20.600 --> 0:31:23.080
<v Speaker 2>what was going to come out of. Like these ideas,

0:31:23.160 --> 0:31:28.840
<v Speaker 2>it's just like keeps like blossoming and blossoming, and it's beautiful.

0:31:29.120 --> 0:31:30.000
<v Speaker 1>It's really beautiful.

0:31:30.120 --> 0:31:30.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:31:30.400 --> 0:31:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I had the pleasure of being on your pod.

0:31:33.480 --> 0:31:35.560
<v Speaker 1>You did a pod swap and it was really fun.

0:31:36.640 --> 0:31:39.720
<v Speaker 1>So everybody watch out on your socials for when those

0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:42.640
<v Speaker 1>are going to air. We will for sure be promoting them,

0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:45.880
<v Speaker 1>of course, because we want you to see it. I

0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:49.440
<v Speaker 1>just love you. I love I love your just honesty,

0:31:49.840 --> 0:31:52.080
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I love that we've known each other

0:31:52.120 --> 0:31:54.360
<v Speaker 1>for a long time and we're able to like kind

0:31:54.360 --> 0:31:57.640
<v Speaker 1>of reconnect yet and different stage in our lives in

0:31:57.680 --> 0:32:01.360
<v Speaker 1>a whole different way. So that's it's just like hopeful

0:32:01.440 --> 0:32:02.920
<v Speaker 1>for me and comforting.

0:32:03.600 --> 0:32:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I have to say I when I saw your

0:32:06.360 --> 0:32:11.360
<v Speaker 2>whole I Choose Me movement, I was like, fuck, yeah, Jenny, Yes, yes,

0:32:11.680 --> 0:32:15.280
<v Speaker 2>like that is what we need to be doing. Like

0:32:15.400 --> 0:32:19.520
<v Speaker 2>this is like doesn't this feel so good in your core?

0:32:19.760 --> 0:32:23.880
<v Speaker 2>Not only for yourself, but to be giving that back

0:32:24.440 --> 0:32:25.400
<v Speaker 2>to other women?

0:32:26.120 --> 0:32:26.440
<v Speaker 3>It is.

0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:29.000
<v Speaker 1>It's I'm moved because I feel like we're both doing

0:32:29.000 --> 0:32:31.360
<v Speaker 1>the same you know, we're both in that phase and

0:32:32.120 --> 0:32:38.440
<v Speaker 1>we're I find personally more fulfillment in this work than

0:32:38.520 --> 0:32:42.320
<v Speaker 1>in any acting role I've ever done. I'm not sure

0:32:42.360 --> 0:32:43.280
<v Speaker 1>how you feel about it.

0:32:44.080 --> 0:32:46.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I agree because it's I mean, look,

0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:50.360
<v Speaker 2>it's it's it's more us obviously, it's more controlled.

0:32:51.280 --> 0:32:53.960
<v Speaker 3>We decide more of it.

0:32:54.880 --> 0:33:00.480
<v Speaker 2>And also because there's no characters that exist life us

0:33:00.520 --> 0:33:04.360
<v Speaker 2>out there, so like we are becoming the characters that

0:33:04.400 --> 0:33:06.560
<v Speaker 2>we would like to see and if we can't see

0:33:06.640 --> 0:33:10.240
<v Speaker 2>them on screen, we can be them in real life.

0:33:10.640 --> 0:33:13.239
<v Speaker 3>And that feels powerful.

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:17.080
<v Speaker 1>It really does. Yeah, Constance Zimmer, before I let you go,

0:33:18.160 --> 0:33:21.600
<v Speaker 1>I need to know what was your last I Choose

0:33:21.760 --> 0:33:23.120
<v Speaker 1>me moment?

0:33:25.760 --> 0:33:30.720
<v Speaker 2>I think coming on this podcast because I have so

0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:34.120
<v Speaker 2>much chaos going on in my life right now, and

0:33:35.280 --> 0:33:38.480
<v Speaker 2>I remember saying like, I'm going to choose to do

0:33:38.520 --> 0:33:41.360
<v Speaker 2>that for myself. I'm going to take an hour out

0:33:41.360 --> 0:33:44.440
<v Speaker 2>of the chaos. I'm going to take a shower, I'm

0:33:44.480 --> 0:33:48.000
<v Speaker 2>going to put lotion on, and I'm going to just

0:33:49.040 --> 0:33:51.360
<v Speaker 2>go in the space because i can hear all the

0:33:51.440 --> 0:33:56.120
<v Speaker 2>chaos happening outside of these doors. And this was me going, yeah,

0:33:56.120 --> 0:33:58.360
<v Speaker 2>but I'm going to do this for myself because this

0:33:58.520 --> 0:33:59.480
<v Speaker 2>matters for me.

0:34:00.000 --> 0:34:02.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad it mattered for you, because it really

0:34:03.680 --> 0:34:06.400
<v Speaker 1>it helped me close a loop I don't know on

0:34:06.440 --> 0:34:12.600
<v Speaker 1>some old stories I had around our friendship that I

0:34:12.680 --> 0:34:16.200
<v Speaker 1>created in my mind for whatever the reasons that were happening,

0:34:16.560 --> 0:34:19.799
<v Speaker 1>you know, to us around us, and I just I

0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:24.160
<v Speaker 1>feel I've really connected with you. Just say that. And

0:34:24.239 --> 0:34:28.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm so deeply happy for what is happening for you

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:33.600
<v Speaker 1>and your career because you are a hard worker, and yeah,

0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:36.160
<v Speaker 1>I really look up to you, and I'm just so

0:34:36.239 --> 0:34:37.799
<v Speaker 1>glad that you were here and that this was your

0:34:37.840 --> 0:34:38.760
<v Speaker 1>eye choose me moment.

0:34:39.000 --> 0:34:42.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh well, thank you, Jenny. I'm happy too, because I do.

0:34:43.239 --> 0:34:46.239
<v Speaker 2>I it makes me realize that you do come back

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:50.759
<v Speaker 2>to the people who see you, you know, for who

0:34:50.800 --> 0:34:54.520
<v Speaker 2>you are, and all the other stuff like doesn't fucking matter.

0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:56.440
<v Speaker 1>Nope, I love you.

0:34:56.640 --> 0:34:57.359
<v Speaker 3>I love you too,