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Speaker 1: Right now it is time for today's Strawberry Letter. If

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. Buglu Hold on tight, We

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Speaker 1: got it for you. Here it is. It's a Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter subject. I've been a whole fool for eighteen years.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, there is so much going on in

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Speaker 1: my home. I've been with my husband for eighteen years

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Speaker 1: and we've been married for four years. I have three

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Speaker 1: children from a previous marriage, and we have a daughter together.

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Speaker 1: My husband does not like my children and he talks

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Speaker 1: about them constantly. My kids don't like him either, and

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Speaker 1: after we got married, they moved out of the house.

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Speaker 1: The daughter that I have with him was thirteen years

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Speaker 1: old when we got married, and she told me that

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Speaker 1: I should not marry her daddy. I questioned her, but

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Speaker 1: she would not tell me why. When my husband is

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Speaker 1: at home, he stays in our bedroom with the door

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Speaker 1: closed and the TV is always on blast. When he's

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Speaker 1: not in the bedroom or at work, he spends time

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Speaker 1: at his mama's house. Recently, our daughter came to me

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Speaker 1: and finally told me why I should not have married

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Speaker 1: her dad. She says that he has a longtime girlfriend

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Speaker 1: in Florida. She's met the woman at my husband's mother's

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Speaker 1: house years ago. The girlfriend spends time at my mother

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Speaker 1: in law's house when she's in town. My husband talks

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Speaker 1: to our daughter about his mistress, and he never expected

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Speaker 1: her to say anything to me. My other children know too,

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Speaker 1: so I look like a fool. He has made all

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Speaker 1: of our lives miserable for his own selfish gains. My

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Speaker 1: daughter has no respect for her dad, and I had

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Speaker 1: to tell her that all men are not dogs. My

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Speaker 1: husband says that he's asked God for forgiveness for all

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Speaker 1: his wrongdoings, but he is not going to stop seeing

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Speaker 1: this woman. So now, okay, my husband says. My husband

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Speaker 1: said that he's asked God for forgiveness for all his wrongdoings,

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Speaker 1: but he's not going to stop seeing this woman. So

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Speaker 1: now I'm on a mission to leave him and make

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Speaker 1: him pay emotionally and financially for everything he has put

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Speaker 1: me through. How do I heal from this? Well, that's

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Speaker 1: a good start, making him pay, especially financially emotionally financially, however,

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Speaker 1: you can make him pay, make him pay, but how

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Speaker 1: do you heal from this? You ask I have one

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Speaker 1: word from you for you, and that's forgiveness. He's asking

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Speaker 1: God for forgiveness. Yeah, forgiveness. He's got to forgive him.

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Speaker 1: He's asking God for forgiveness. But he hasn't asked you

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Speaker 1: for forgiveness. Okay, what a horrible situation this is. You know,

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Speaker 1: just so much going on. His mother is disrespectful by

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Speaker 1: letting the woman come to her house and hang out

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Speaker 1: with her. And it's just wrong for him to put

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Speaker 1: your daughter, your young daughter, in the middle of all

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Speaker 1: of this. I mean, how is she supposed to process

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Speaker 1: all this grown folks, mess your marriage, your dad, seeing

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Speaker 1: this other woman, him telling her about this other woman,

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Speaker 1: all of this. I mean, she's too young to process

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Speaker 1: all of this. Not good for your daughter. I mean

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Speaker 1: it is going to taint her view of men, and

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Speaker 1: I you know, it's good that you told her all

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Speaker 1: men aren't dogs. Okay, you're right about the fact that

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Speaker 1: he's selfish, that he only cares about himself, not to

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Speaker 1: mention that he's inconsiderate and he's just playing stupid. I mean,

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Speaker 1: so if he if he says he's not going to

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Speaker 1: stop seeing this woman. Then you have to go on

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Speaker 1: with your life. Okay, I have to tell you that

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Speaker 1: you have to go on. But to get it started

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Speaker 1: and heal from all of this, you gotta do something

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Speaker 1: for yourself. You gotta forgive him. That's the starting point

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Speaker 1: to get you to start living your own life. You

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Speaker 1: gotta do it. I'm sorry, I mean, you know, I

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Speaker 1: know you're hurt and all of that, But go ahead,

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Speaker 1: forgive him. Don't give him any more of your precious time.

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Speaker 1: Eighteen years is more than enough. Then and only then

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Speaker 1: after you forgive him, can you really really truly move

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Speaker 1: on with your life. Forgive him? That's what I say. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: the subject is called I've been a whole fool for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years. Let me just say, after reading this letter,

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Speaker 1: I think you have done an excellent job or being

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Speaker 1: a whole fool, And throughout the letter you have really

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Speaker 1: shown me that you are a whole fool. See, if

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do something, don't half do it. What is

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Speaker 1: a half a fool? You might as well do it

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Speaker 1: like you did all the way through this letter, be

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Speaker 1: a whole fool. So let's just start right there. You've

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Speaker 1: been with your husband eighteen years. We've been married for folk.

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Speaker 1: You got three kids from a previous match. Y'all got

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Speaker 1: one daughter together. Your husband don't like your kids. He

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Speaker 1: talks about him, and your kids don't like him either. Damn, man,

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Speaker 1: don't nobody like nobody in this his house. My kids

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Speaker 1: don't like him me. Then after we got married, they

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Speaker 1: moved out of the house where they go. You've been

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Speaker 1: married four years, but you've been with him for eighteen.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how your kids was. Damn, I don't

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Speaker 1: they grown. They're gonna anyway. They're out the house. The

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Speaker 1: daughter that you got with him is thirteen. Then when

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Speaker 1: y'all got mad, she told you you shouldn't marry her daddy. Damn. Okay, now,

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Speaker 1: let me get this right. All your kids didn't like him.

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Speaker 1: All your kids moved out. Then the one baby y'all

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Speaker 1: had together thirteen years old. By the time y'all got mad,

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Speaker 1: she told me you shouldn't marry her daddy. Now, you're

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Speaker 1: a nice lady, because everybody like you and won't what's

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Speaker 1: the best for you? Everybody hates this food. You questioned her,

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Speaker 1: but she wouldn't tell you why. When your husband at

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Speaker 1: home here in the bed room with the dog clothes

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Speaker 1: and the TV on blasts here and there, talking here

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Speaker 1: and that talk. I have to agree with that. When

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Speaker 1: he's not in the bedroom or at work, he spend

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Speaker 1: time at his mama's house. Where we found out why

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Speaker 1: he'd been at his mama's house in a damn show.

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Speaker 1: Ain't calls it, Mama. Then your daughter came to you

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Speaker 1: finally told you that you shouldn't have married her daddy

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Speaker 1: because he got a long time girlfriend in Florida and

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Speaker 1: she'd met a woman at your mama in law's house.

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Speaker 1: The girlfriend spend time at the mother in law's house

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Speaker 1: when she in town. She come to town a lot,

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Speaker 1: but you say your husband always over there. I think

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Speaker 1: she from Florida originally, but I think she'd moved up

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Speaker 1: here and she come over to mama's house all the time.

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Speaker 1: Because you say he always at his mama's house. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna tell you the rest of it when we come back,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't gonna like it. Well, Steve, we'll get

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Speaker 1: to part two of your response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three after the hour when we come back. A subject

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Speaker 1: I've been a whole fool for eighteen years. You're listening

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Speaker 1: show all right, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter. I've

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Speaker 1: been a whole fool for eighteen years. Lady been married,

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Speaker 1: been with this man eighteen years, married for they got

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Speaker 1: She had three kids from previous marriage, though none of

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Speaker 1: the kids like to do. They had one child together

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Speaker 1: when they got married. All the kids moved out. The

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Speaker 1: thirteen year old that you all got together. Your daughter

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Speaker 1: finally told you you shouldn't marry my daddy. But ain't

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Speaker 1: this day kid? But then she says to her mother,

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't marry my daddy. She questioned about it. She

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Speaker 1: never told him. Then she finally told him. He got

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend that be at her grandmama's house, which is

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Speaker 1: her mother in law's house, the baby's grandmother. Now he

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Speaker 1: has been discussing the mistress with his daughter. Who do that?

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Speaker 1: Who do that? Man? No, dog, I ain't never heard

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Speaker 1: of that one right there, unless he was planning on

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Speaker 1: leaving you was trying to get the girl to side

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Speaker 1: up with it. Now, he said, after all this, he

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Speaker 1: has asked God to forgive him, but he man this

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Speaker 1: one right here for men, this did you tell this

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Speaker 1: to your wife? I have asked God to forgive me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna stop seeing her. Okay, so let

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Speaker 1: me ask something dot, What what did you ask God

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Speaker 1: to forgive you for? Because this don't make no damn sense.

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Speaker 1: Don't if you asked God to forgive but then you

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Speaker 1: tell your wife, but I'm not gonna stop seeing her?

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Speaker 1: What did you ask God to forgive you? Fall? And

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Speaker 1: then no way in this letter does he ask you

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Speaker 1: to forgive him, because he can't ask you to forgive

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Speaker 1: him because he'd told you before, whether you forgive me

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Speaker 1: or not, I'm gonna not so I'm gonna not stop

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Speaker 1: seeing her now. Shellyan told you that it is best

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Speaker 1: for you to forgive him. You know, I understand where

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Speaker 1: you're coming from, Shelly, but this is fresh. It's just happened.

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Speaker 1: You gonna eventually have to forgive him and move on

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Speaker 1: for your own benefit, like Shellley said, But not right

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Speaker 1: now though. Yeah, we got we got some stuff we

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Speaker 1: got to do. See, I don't know why Sherley tried

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Speaker 1: to throw this Christianity out there first, like she ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna kick and bus out of all his car winners

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Speaker 1: and put him on face, put him on she tried

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Speaker 1: to act like she didn't finish to do this right here,

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Speaker 1: allegedly my ass. Now you're gonna make him pay. He's

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Speaker 1: asked God to forgive it just a line. I can't

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Speaker 1: get paid. I'm gonna ask God to forgive me, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna stop seeing. I'm gonna keep on doing this. Wow,

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Speaker 1: this woman right him. You're in a position of a

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Speaker 1: man who don't care nothing about you. And no, you've

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Speaker 1: never been in the marriage. This man got busted cheating

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Speaker 1: and instead of asking you for forgiveness, let's work it out.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, he tells you. I don't ask God to

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Speaker 1: forgive me, but I'm not fitting to stop seeing. You're

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Speaker 1: not fine? Yeah, man, man, man, let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: I mean, dog, that's illogical. I don't care who you are.

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Speaker 1: It ain't a man in here really can hit himself

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Speaker 1: saying that now. So, lady, then you said you first

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Speaker 1: before you leave him. So now I'm on a mission

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Speaker 1: to leave him and make him pay emotionally and financially. Well,

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Speaker 1: you can definitely get him financially, not emotional part. I

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Speaker 1: need the ladiest to tell me what they what is?

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Speaker 1: What are they gonna do to him? To make him

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Speaker 1: pay emotion Shirley and Carlin. I just want Shirley and

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Speaker 1: Carlin talking about I don't want to hear from nobody else.

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Speaker 1: What are they gonna do to this man to make

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Speaker 1: him emotionally pay. Let's get into the mind of women. Hell,

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Speaker 1: have no fearing like a woman scoring. So some man

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Speaker 1: hadn't done this to you? Fleep with one eye open,

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Speaker 1: that's all I gotta say. Oh, don't close both of

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Speaker 1: your eyes that night. Well, I'm you want what I would? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: come over here we go. I'm pulling the Florida. Is

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Speaker 1: that what a woman is? I'm going down to Florida

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Speaker 1: and me and her, we're gonna have a conversation. Then

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Speaker 1: we're gonna talk to him. You go, jim mamah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's right there. Now, let you see. You gotta get

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Speaker 1: him emotionally because he said he's not gonna stop seeing her.

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Speaker 1: So now you've got to really go in so really correct.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're gonna do something to a down there,

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Speaker 1: you're concerned about that. I mean, I'm just trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out when they do get back together, she gonna

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Speaker 1: look different. Well I might start cooking. Yeah wow, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she said she said, She said that you tell her

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Speaker 1: that you go, I'm gonna stop seeing me, but she

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Speaker 1: had shut both my eyes and now I can't see you.

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Speaker 1: This is this is ugly man. This is ugly. This

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Speaker 1: man cares nothing about you. Is now her? Now your

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Speaker 1: daughter has no respect for her dad. He's the most

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Speaker 1: selfish person I've ever seen. And then you're trying to

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Speaker 1: tell your daughter that all men ain't dogs. My husband

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Speaker 1: says that he's asked God for forgiveness for all his

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Speaker 1: wrong doing. What he ain't gonna stop seeing it didn't

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Speaker 1: get it at your because he loves her. All right, guys,

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Speaker 1: we got to get out of here. You can post

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Speaker 1: your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: and check out our Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Okay,

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Speaker 1: our Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You can hear today's letter.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show