WEBVTT - Episode 4: Them’s the Breaks 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:08.680 My anxiety is back in action for the first time 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.760 in weeks. It's mostly moved to the background in my 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:16.360 mind while the podcast has been taken off, but tonight's 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:21.560 back in full force. I feel flush and sweaty, my 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:25.680 my nerves jangling, all the usual symptoms. Why does this 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:30.159 keep happening even with my meds. It has something to 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.440 do with my parents. Keeping this wall up with them 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:38.040 is mentally exhausting. The fact is I'm still seventeen. At 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:39.879 some point I'm gonna need them on board to move 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.519 up to the next level. The time to tell them 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:46.960 what's going on is coming makes for a new kind 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:51.080 of anxiety, a slow burn that just keeps growing and 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:59.240 growing the longer I put it off. Making another attempt 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.600 in meditation helps. It helps me see the conflict with 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:07.240 my parents clearly from a distance, and my confused feelings 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.039 for Janelle, the worry that Marco is gonna make a 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:11.800 move and kill the vibe that we have going on 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:16.000 as a production crew. It all feels for a moment 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:26.720 manageable part. Of course, I'm interrupted before I can even 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:31.200 meet my personal best Amasily five minutes. I checked my 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:32.880 phone out of the corner of one night and see 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:35.000 that it's from Marker in our group chat with Janelle. 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.120 All right, Ben, this one took some legwork on Janelle's 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:39.680 in my part. But one of the artists we've been 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.479 emailing with is in town, so we booked you an 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:45.240 interview with Stephen Moses at a recording studio in the city. 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.960 Are you free this Thursday? I can make it. Send 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:51.480 me the address. Are you both coming? No, you're flying 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:53.880 solo this time. I've got a date in Marco studying 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.880 for a test. A date. Janelle has a date? What 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.200 does that mean? Does she have a boyfriend and she 0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:03.880 not single? Oh? Forget it. Won't worry about that another time. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:06.480 At least I don't have to worry about Marco making 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:11.320 it weird. Wait, Marco's studying, since when does he started 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:13.720 doing that? That makes me feel way behind on my 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:16.880 school work? And I have to go into the city alone. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:19.560 That's just one more lie. I have to tell my parents, 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:24.720 which will only make coming clean harder. Huh, Okay, I'll 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:28.680 figure out a cover from my parents. Honest question, do 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.679 you guys think I should tell them about? Here comes 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.320 to break immediately both of them show the floating dots 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:36.760 of typing responses, Yes, they should be so proud of you. 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.640 You can't keep it from them forever. I don't know. 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.000 You know, you don't know Ben's parents. They're nice, but 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.160 they could be strict. They have big plans for our 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.160 boy that don't involve him becoming a podcast. That's all 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:50.120 the more reason to have the conversation now rather than later. 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.000 I hear what you know is saying. But Marco's right too. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:57.760 She doesn't know my parents. I don't know how to 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:00.760 navigate this, and my hands are for to claim me again, 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.520 I type out of response. I'll tell them soon, but 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:07.720 I'm gonna wait till after this interview. I don't want 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.080 to give them a chance to say no to me 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:12.320 going into the city alone. Better to ask for forgiveness 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:16.080 than permission. I tossed my phone on the bed and 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.919 take my before sleep meds. Try and call my nerves 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.120 one last time for the night. It doesn't work. The 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:26.120 pit in my stomach only grows heavier. The only way 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:49.080 out of this it's through. I spend most of my 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.840 downtime during the week preparing for the interview. Stephen Moses 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:56.880 blew up on SoundCloud. Hometown in Pennsylvania, like Marco said 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:00.200 a few hours from the city. He's definitely be a 0:04:00.240 --> 0:04:03.960 different vibe than my other interview so far. I'm not 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:07.480 gonna lie. Conducting this interview without my team got me shook. 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.440 I'm used to having Mark over Janelle around for back up, 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:12.800 and because it's gonna be crossing the line with my 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.440 parents if they find out, I'm gonna have to find 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.240 a way to break the news about the podcast to 0:04:17.279 --> 0:04:20.440 convince them to accept my new passion. But I just 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:23.479 get so shook around them. I don't trust myself to 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:27.599 be confident. I am not mask going around them. I 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:33.080 can just see their faces now, just judging me. Are 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.400 you sure this is an impact in your schoolwork? We 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.720 just transferred you to this school so you can focus 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.760 on academics and not a hobby. Do you want to 0:04:41.800 --> 0:04:44.000 live your life selling CDs out of the trunk of 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.599 your car? There's only one master p You can be 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:51.640 an engineering, an owner of a tech company, and this 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:55.280 is what you're gonna do with selling c d s 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.440 out of my car? What is my dad talking about 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:02.040 c d s? They don't even make seat easy anymore. 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:06.120 This guy here, I am getting piste off about an 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:15.400 imaginary conversation with him. Okay, let me chilly ship almost 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.320 missed my transfer. I squeezed through the closing doors and 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.119 rushed across the station to catch the F train running 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:25.120 through the human station with musty sense pass street performers 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.280 in newspaper stands. The rush of another interview comes back 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:33.120 to me. My adrenaline is pumping like me. Up. Have 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:35.760 reached the F platform and see an express train freshly 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:40.160 loaded with uptown passengers. We're all about the partner. I 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.520 make one more mad dash to the doors and I 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:50.240 managed the board. Huh. Just a couple of stops later 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:53.760 and we get to my I'm still panting for my 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.800 sprint through west Forth, but I make my way out 0:05:56.800 --> 0:06:01.640 of the station and up onto the street. Oh, the 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.800 crisp fall wind hits my face and I feel energized 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:10.320 and fresh blood pumping. Interview ahead of me alone in 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:15.440 the city, now's my time. After a few blocks walk, 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:19.160 I arrived at the studio entrance, a heavy steel door 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:22.800 flanked by glass walls with the name Electric Ladies Studios. 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:25.960 I hit the buzzer and in a minute, this big 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.359 guy in a black T shirt and black jeans answers 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:33.280 help you I'm Ruben Robinson mask On from the Here 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.120 Comes to Break podcast. I'm here from my interview with 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:41.359 Stephen Moses, m nice dride Kid. You're the interviewer. Yeah, 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:44.080 he sizes me up and lets out another gruff laugh. 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.560 I'm getting pretty sick of dealing with dormant and after 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.600 what happened at the l A The Ghost Show last week, 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:51.760 I am determined not to let this one give me 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:54.080 a hard time when I'm definitely scheduled to be here. 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:58.919 Check the list? What did you say? Your name was again? Reuben? It? 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.360 Maybe under here? Comes to Rake or mask On? Mask On? 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:05.839 What's that like? Your MC name? Sort of? No wonder 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.000 you go by a handle? You're a little dude. Can 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.200 I get in now? I'm running late. I like to 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:13.880 be early for my interviews. There's something else, Yeah, follow me, 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.760 I'll take care of the back. The Big Guy leads 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:19.280 me to a lounge area covered an album art from 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.080 all the artists who have recorded here, J Diller and 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:26.240 mad Lib, Young Thug and Tiler the Creator. The Big 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:29.040 Guy instructs me to sit and wait. Stephen is laying 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.960 down the track and wrapping up another meeting, apparently, so 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:36.400 I sit and I wait review on my notes, but 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.640 my eye keeps wandering to the walls. I'm struck, dumb 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:42.120 by the history of the place. I can't wait to 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.000 tell Marco about all of this. He'll be so jealous. 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:47.960 As if to prove my point. The door to the 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:51.960 studio opens and holy ship, outsteps Dave East, he played 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:54.160 method Man in the wood Tang series. I own his 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:57.360 album Survival and listen to his paranoia a true story mistake. 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.960 All the time. I'm rooted to the lounge couch, starstruck. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:03.640 Just being in the room with someone like this feels 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:07.600 like I've made it success. He pauses in the lounge 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.560 and make side contact with you. Hey kid, you an artist. 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:14.520 I'm still stuck to my spot, knowing this is going 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.800 to blow Barcos's mind. I gotta play it cool, don't 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:20.480 blow it, at least spit out of normal sentence. Ruben, 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:26.040 Come on, I'm a journalist. I'm here to enter you. 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:30.239 Stephen Are you're pretty young? How long you've been at it? Oh? 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:34.679 You know, just getting started? Really? Uh? A huge fan 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.880 of your work, By the way, we'll keep it up. 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.400 I was grinding at it for years before I got signed. 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.440 Maybe one day man, you will meet up, you know, 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:45.960 for interviewers. Son With that, he passes out of the 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:48.840 lounge and I collect myself. I think I pulled that 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:52.520 off pretty well. It's only a passing interaction, but to 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:55.880 have someone I admire so much see my potential, it's 0:08:55.960 --> 0:09:01.120 incredibly validated. I step to the room he just left. 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:04.440 It's the production suite. I see the board all laid out, 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.440 knobs and dials and row after row. The engineer hunched 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:12.280 down over them like he's piloting a spaceship. Yeah, that's 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:16.320 me Here in the studio. The walls are full of 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:19.800 shelves lined with tapes and demo tracks. There are musical 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.360 instruments scattered to each corner around the couch that I 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.800 plopped down on, and I take out my notes. The 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.120 engineer keeps playing back bits of the track that he 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:29.880 and Stephen are working on, tweaking the reverb on the 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:33.680 vocal here, tightening the beat there. It makes me self 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.760 conscious about recording this interview on my phone. It feels 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.319 like amateur hour. But despite all the putdowns by the doorman, 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:45.560 I feel at home, like I finally arrived. Mask on. 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:49.720 It's ready for the mass to come off. Stephen Moses 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.480 turns around in the swivel chair away from facing at 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:55.960 the board. He sizes me up, sees my phone on 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.319 the couch beside me, and ready to record the interview. 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.360 He smarks a little bit and gives me a look 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:14.080 like well, and then I dive in. And an industry 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.760 is constantly trying to define artists. Can you tell our 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:20.160 listeners in your own words? Who is Stephen Moses? I'm 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:23.760 just like this soon as everyone else, just like kind 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:26.160 of different a little bit. I guess I don't really 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:29.880 like to define myself like that. How do you spread 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:33.040 your music to your fans, your followers? I know SoundCloud 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.720 played a huge rolling building a fan base. Yeah, it's 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.880 really just the word of mouth, you know, ab least 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.880 such such gameship like that played the big role in it, 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:42.880 Like it all kind of came when I dropped that 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:46.880 loving video, you know, spread on that song. I don't 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:49.640 really have to necessarily really try to promote it like that. 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.560 When did you first know you have found success as 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.800 an artist? I mean the way I look at music, 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.160 the way I made music, like my recording and writing process, 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.400 and that hasn't really changed. But I would say that 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.719 ship say, changing in a video came out really so 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.160 how do you connect with fans? Can you describe your 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:11.800 fans to us? I just lost? I think in this 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.800 this shit, they give this sit and feels they're not 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.600 lost them maybe they have a guide or even if 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.880 they don't, maybe even if they still feel lost, they 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:25.000 could feel okay in that abyss that they might find 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:29.240 themselves in, but they might feel comfortable with themselves. And 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:32.680 I think I give people that feeling. It's not music. 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.120 And why do you think that truth to feeling lost 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:40.600 resonates with the audience because they always has just before everyone, 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:43.920 I don't know, everyone's just kind of figure out what 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.480 the funk they're doing. It feels like this just therapy 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:48.959 feel out of these kids. That's what music was for 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.839 me growing out, And mean it still is okay. What 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:53.880 what was that song in your life where you were like, 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:56.719 I see myself for my life in this track or 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.319 or in this artist? Have you ever heard the song 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:03.000 there is a that never goes out the smith because 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.480 I felt like someone was someone seeing like exactly what 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.280 I was screaming. And like I said about how my 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.439 music makes people feel okay with how they're feeling I 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:15.679 think it gave me that affirmation. That's the stuff. So 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:18.920 these days you move from Pennsylvania to l A with 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.640 so much civil arrest going on, how are you feeling 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:25.520 with all the protest things. Honestly, I see more unity 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:30.280 in this country unit I've probably seen in the past 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:34.120 twenty years. It sucks that it has said happened like this, 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.000 and then some of this ship has to be going 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.679 on to make that happen. I don't really want to 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.640 connect like to too much on it, but just a 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.240 lot of unity, a lot of ship like that. I 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:47.240 don't know. The only time I ever felt unity like that, 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.320 honestly was you know, Whaii. There was this mountain called 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:56.400 Mounticare that they're China build a stip telescope on. So 0:12:57.000 --> 0:13:00.160 people are all ended together blocking off this road. It's 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.680 like a thousand people from different parts of the world 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:05.000 gathered up for this is one cause, and they were 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.640 all doing their different ceremonies and people would dancing for 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:12.680 all perfect games. Think and that was the last time 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.080 I ever felt anything like when I'm feeling right now 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.199 in the end, what do you want your legacy to be? 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.559 I want my legacy to be and want I want 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.040 to show people there's a way out, whether you have 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:29.319 to make music or paint or not make art at all. 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:32.960 I just want people to know there's like a way out. 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:34.800 Do you have any advice for kids or how to 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:37.199 seek help and man and stress and anxiety? Really, I 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:39.800 guess it would depend on the person. But you know, 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:44.160 in most cases more people care than than you think. 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.960 And if you are looking for help, actually it's usually 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.600 there and not always, I guess, but if you're looking 0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.080 for it long enough, if you find it. And for parents, 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.640 parents need to chill the funk out. They need to 0:13:56.720 --> 0:14:00.600 chill out and stop trying to make their kids. We're 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:04.080 fucking uniforms go to school. I didn't go to school. 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:06.959 We'll go Good support from parents or other mentors look 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:12.400 like to you guys that aren't, like I said, when 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.280 you're overbearing with it and just push these people in 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:17.800 the other draction, he usually gets hard to listen to 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.240 some of me that's trying to tell you exactly what 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:34.480 to do. We'll be right back and now back to 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:43.600 the show on the right, back out to Queens. I'm 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.360 wrangling with the results of the interview. It was a 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.840 challenge Stephen Moses had me walking around the studio building, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.360 following them out of the production suite to the kitchen. 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:54.840 It's a tougher interview that I'm kind of used to. 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:57.280 I felt like I didn't get him to open up 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:00.520 until he started talking about his fans and activism. But 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:04.680 when he did, the stuff he said about parents resonated 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.480 with me. By the time I get back to the house, 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:11.000 I've missed family dinner. I told my parents I was 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.080 hanging out of Marco's after school. They don't usually check 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:16.680 up on stories like that, but as soon as I 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:20.760 come through the door, I could tell something's off. They're 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.240 waiting for me at the dining room table, looks of 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.880 concern on their faces. Hey Mom, Hey Dad, what's up? 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:30.120 I pretend like nothing weirdest going on, but the vibe 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:33.360 in the room is cold. Reuben, where were you tonight? 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.720 What do you mean? Don't lie to us, young man. 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.320 I called Marco's house to let y'all know Marco left 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.640 his sunglasses here last week. I meant to remind you 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.120 to take him with you. They said you weren't there, 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:47.760 damn it, this is the worst case scenario. Instead of 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:52.040 breaking things to them gently, I've been caught exactly what 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.200 I've been hoping to avoid. My stomach drops like a 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:58.600 brick in my gut. Marco's parents must have asked him 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.120 if he was in on the alibi, but I'm sure 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:03.560 he denied it. And I have to find a way 0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:06.880 to have this conversation without getting grounded, or it's gonna 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.880 make producing the podcast twice as complicated. I dropped my 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:14.520 bag by my feet and decided to level with him. Okay, 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:18.200 I was out interviewing a new hip hop artist, Stephen Moses. 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:20.840 He's just blowing up, and I met him at a 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:25.000 recording studio to ask him a few questions for this podcast. 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:28.920 Stop started. It's called Here Comes the Break. It's a hit. 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.960 I see it on their stunt faces, just like I 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:36.040 imagined earlier. They have no idea how to respond. This 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.640 is not the explanation they were expected. But in the 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:43.080 courtroom by it picks up. When did you start doing this? 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:47.240 About a month back, Marco took me with him to 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:49.520 a show he got invited to for his follower account. 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:53.720 That was our first interview, but and we posted it 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.880 got a lot of traction, and we've been trying to 0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:58.520 feed the beast every week since why didn't you tell 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:03.480 us I was going to Eventually it started out just 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:05.840 as an idea between Marco and me, but it's it's 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:08.560 growing so fast it got out of control, and I 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:10.719 couldn't risk you shutting it down like you shut down 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:13.240 my Vine account when that blew up. If they look 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:16.600 stunned by my reveal of the podcast, they seem even 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.359 more confused by my raising the subject of my Vine account. 0:17:20.200 --> 0:17:22.320 It's suddenly so clear that this has been on my mind, 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.639 but it hasn't crossed theirs and ears. I feel a 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:30.200 flushed in the past your Vine account. Seriously, Ruben, you 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:33.000 were too young. I scanned all the comments on that 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.200 viral post. Do you even know what kind of threats 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:38.399 and insults those trolls were thrown at you? Being an 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.840 Internet celebrity is not sustainable for children. It can make 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.000 you crazy, and you have to be careful. We are 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:48.240 being careful. It's just you and Marco doing this podcast, 0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:52.320 Marco and me and my new friends. And so when 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:53.920 the three of you went out to a show the 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.320 other week, we were handing out merchant book and future 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.560 guests for the show. They're still trying to wrap their 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:00.960 heads around it. I don't know what they were worried 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:04.320 about what I might be into, but podcasting wasn't on 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.920 the list that are off balanced. I feel like I've 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:08.800 scored an opening to get them to realize this is 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:13.080 a good thing. But Marco was at his house today 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:15.600 when you went to this recording studio. Were you alone? 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:20.200 This one might be tough. I'm calling the one Lie. 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:23.280 I knew they'd be pissed about going into the city alone, 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.200 especially with the heightened news about police brutality. Mom, I'm 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.280 almost eighteen. I don't need a damn chaperone. So that's 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:36.399 a yes. Well, this isn't about a chaperon, Reuben. Come on, now, 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:40.840 we have talked about this. When you're going out to 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:46.120 strange places, you should have friends with you. Your cell 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.760 phones should be charged. Do you know what it's like 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:55.720 having a black son in America? Hell no, my son 0:18:55.840 --> 0:19:00.480 will not be another hashtag. Not on my day. I'm watched. 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.280 I pray God, I pray down to the heavens every 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.439 time you leave this house. I don't sleep comfortably at 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.320 night until you are home, safe and sound. Ruben. I 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.840 need for you to hear me. You should not be 0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:17.640 in the city alone. And if you are, you tell 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:20.320 your parents you're a whereabouts. It's for your safety and 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:25.080 my peace of mind. Damn it, Ruben, honey, it's okay. 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:28.960 He's here, He's safe, Ruben is safe. I can't live 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:32.320 in constant fear ma. I want to put myself out there, 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:36.359 and this, this podcast is my chance. I can't just 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.600 keep my head down and and go to Howard and 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:41.119 put on a suit and tie somewhere. This is about 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.480 my future. I know you two are trying to help 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:46.760 me go down a good path, but you gotta give 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.720 me fucking womb to live my own life. I don't 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:55.359 think you're hearing your mother ship. I'm needed. I take 0:19:55.400 --> 0:20:00.760 a second to catch my breath. I'm the one who 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.639 has all the baggage here. I just started spewing it 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:05.639 at him with my mom asked me a simple question. 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:12.399 I feel half balanced on edge. I need to get 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:15.920 out of this conversation alive. Okay, listen here. You do 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:19.520 not talk back to your parents like that. Express yourself 0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:22.000 with some self control. If you have other issues you 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:24.920 want to talk about, that's one thing. But the matter 0:20:25.119 --> 0:20:28.120 at hand, as you have been lying to us, sneaking 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:34.000 around to God, knows where sometimes alone, you are so grounded. Fuck, 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:39.800 I'm not getting out of this conversation alive. I played 0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:43.479 right into this two weeks. No going out after school 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:46.840 or on weekends. We're not saying you can't do your 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:49.960 podcast project, but we can't just roll over on this 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:56.560 sneaking around. Do you understand? Do you understand this isn't 0:20:56.600 --> 0:20:59.679 just a little project. This could be a legit business 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:03.240 for me. Watch your mouth and tone, young man. Where 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:07.320 I come from, we don't do that. Sorry, your dad said, 0:21:07.359 --> 0:21:10.840 you can record the damn podcast. Talk back to us again, 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:12.840 and we'll pull the plug on it. It will be 0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:17.760 a wrap on all of it. Please know? Can I 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:20.159 at least throw out for production meetings with Marco and Janelle? 0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:22.240 I gotta be able to pull my weight. Do them 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:28.160 on your laptop. Shit, I screwed up. I hate being 0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:30.639 a minor. This conversation is over. You can go to 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:33.919 your room. Son. We'll discuss the parameters of this at 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.280 another time. My head upstairs and I immediately get to work, 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:39.200 figure and out how to work around this ground and 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:42.920 in my head, Janelle, I'll still see a school. We 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:44.879 got a couple of extra interviews bank, Now where I 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:47.280 later go to st body so we don't have to 0:21:47.359 --> 0:21:50.000 get another one for a high second. Gives us time 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:52.440 to regroup. It might be time to invest in some 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:56.200 legit podcast and Mike's set up my home studio for real. 0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.920 I'll get out from under this. Here comes my jail 0:22:00.080 --> 0:22:08.840 break and now an exclusive track from Stephen Moses huh 0:22:09.000 --> 0:22:16.360 boy to Coco Prime. Oh, coh Prime. Oh. I think 0:22:18.880 --> 0:22:27.720 I've been buried down on came but I cying, Oh boy, 0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:35.320 call crying, Oh oh, I've got burring down. Better bring 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:41.320 down bear. I still don't give a fund yet. Realistically, 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:44.119 I don't think I'm ever gonna I go down there. 0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:46.320 I want to smoke. I never asked for this ship. 0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:48.639 I hope you know that, and I hope you know 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:52.879 that every fucking thing you gave me a cat. How 0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:56.680 about I'm out side at your steps. I'm far hanging 0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:59.280 on my chest. I'm sorry for all the stress, and 0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:02.600 I'm on my life and to mess up. And I said, 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:05.360 how come I gonna wake up? Would it be dead? 0:23:05.440 --> 0:23:07.240 Let it just then? No, I'm just gonna keep on 0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:11.480 getting more painted lately. Ever thinking about changing then I 0:23:11.600 --> 0:23:14.640 realized only one thing ain't change it if I said 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:16.760 I love you, oh, it's just playing. Honestly, I think 0:23:16.800 --> 0:23:19.920 I'm crazy and I don't know how to make conversation. 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:21.960 But I hope that you know that I'm sorry. You 0:23:22.080 --> 0:23:27.159 can pull my son on your playlist or something. I 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:30.520 hope you're fine, whatever the fucking is that you're looking for. 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:34.440 I know you never claimed to be an easy curson, 0:23:34.640 --> 0:23:37.080 but I just wish you would have told me it 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:40.240 could be that hard. He Loving you is like this 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:44.760 perfect radets, never ending, all connate reality where we can 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.880