1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This January, 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: Danny's taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: visit Danny Shapiro dot com. I'm Danny Shapiro and this 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: is Family Secrets, the secrets that are kept from us, 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we 6 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: keep from ourselves. I've heard from so many about your 7 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: own family secrets and realize that what we are creating 8 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: for each other on this podcast is a community, a 9 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: community for those who are looking for a safe and 10 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end, we've created 11 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: a number for listeners to call in to record stories 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: to share here in this space. This week, I'd like 13 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: to share a few of those stories from our community. 14 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Hi, Danny, I am so grateful or 15 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: um you doing the Family's Secrets podcast. I had just 16 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: stumbled upon it, and um, it's already been really healing 17 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: in the work that I am doing within my own 18 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: healing journey and the secrets within my own family. When 19 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: I was about twenty three, UM, a big ball was 20 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 1: dropped in the middle of my life. UM, my beloved 21 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: grandmother had just passed away, and I was sitting with 22 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: my aunt and we were talking about, um, kind of 23 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: how awful my grandpa has had been his whole life, 24 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: and we were just kind of sharing stories back and forth, 25 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: like remember the time Grandpa did this? Oh, remember at 26 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: the time Grandpa did this, you know, just like kind 27 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: of um one upping each other of how awful he was, 28 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: you know, not not the best stories. And then my aunt, UM, 29 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: all of a sudden said, yeah, at the time Grandpa 30 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: sent your mom away to have her baby. And I 31 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,519 Speaker 1: think she knew immediately that I had no clue what 32 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: she was talking about. At first, I thought maybe she 33 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: was talking about me, and I asked her. I was like, wait, 34 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: me what and um, and then she just started. My 35 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: aunt started crying and she was like, oh my gosh, 36 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: you don't know. Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, I 37 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: thought you knew. And my aunt, UM totally there than me. 38 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: She ran upstairs and my mom had been walking in 39 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: the house at that time, and my aunt grabbed my 40 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: mom and they both just took off and left me 41 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 1: standing there. And UM. Then my mom came back and 42 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: told me that she had gotten pregnant when she was young, 43 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: and UM that my grandpa had forced her to go 44 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: to a different state and give her baby up for adoption, 45 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: and it came out later that she has even like 46 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: kept the baby for several um weeks I think almost 47 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: a month, and then um, she wanted to come back 48 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: home with the baby, but my grandpa he just wouldn't 49 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: have it. The secret in my family has to do 50 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: with the death of my dad's mom when he was 51 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: five years old back in the thirties. I was always 52 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: told that his mom died of a kidney infection and 53 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: that no antibiotics were developed by men and there was 54 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: no way to favor. I was also told by my 55 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: mom that as a child, my dad had overheard someone 56 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: saying that his mom had never been the same after 57 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: he was born, and so that he sort of felt responsible, 58 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: even though he was only five years old and her 59 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: obituary just says she died after two weeks of illness. 60 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: But I always had a feeling that there was something 61 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: fishy about the story, because if it ever came up 62 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: in conversation with my dad or his sister, it just 63 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: seemed awkward. And um, one time, my dad did say 64 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,359 Speaker 1: that he didn't think his mom was very happy and 65 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: I asked him why, and he just looked away and said, oh, 66 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: I don't know. So I just had a feeling something 67 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: was they were not being on to percent truthful about it. 68 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: But doing genealogy research, I got her death certificate and 69 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: some states redacted the cause of death, but the state 70 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: they lived in did not, so it said she actually 71 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: died of mercury cyanide poisoning. And it must have been 72 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:51,359 Speaker 1: pretty horrible because the certificate says the poisoning took place 73 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: on one day and then her death actually happened ten 74 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: days later. And mercury cyanide was used in m in 75 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: a photography back then, so I guess it would have 76 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: been not that hard to obtain. But it's extremely toxic 77 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: and it causes your kidneys to shut down eventually, and 78 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: it causes severe gastrointestinal problems. So she was in the 79 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: hospital for ten days and then died. So um, it 80 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: was very shocking to see that, even though I kind 81 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: of suspected it. I haven't discussed it with my dad 82 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: or his sister. They are doing okay, but they're at 83 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: advanced age now and I don't know if it would 84 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 1: just be more upsetting to bring it up Um, then 85 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 1: it would be worse. And UM, when I see my dad, 86 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: I lived two thousand miles away, I just want to 87 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: have fun with him, you know, I don't get to 88 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: see in that offense. So I haven't really broke the subject, 89 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 1: and I don't know if I should. So that's our secret. 90 00:05:53,640 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: I my family's secret is my own secret. Um. Years ago. 91 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: And then it coding on after I had left my 92 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: husband with my first daughter, and I had sex with 93 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: him one time and I got pregnant with my son, 94 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: and after that we had kind of became a thing. 95 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: And then I found out he was seeing drugs and 96 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 1: I told him that he needed to leave my wife, 97 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: and he's threatened to kill me. And one day in 98 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: the back of my car, after he had made up threat, 99 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: I had told security at my work and they came 100 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: out with me every day and he stabbed the security 101 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 1: guard him awake and ran off. And nobody's ever heard 102 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: from your son. So then after that, I so that 103 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: I had my first dayre with had come back into 104 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: my life and said that he wanted to give us 105 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: you know, if this live in a family, and and 106 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: I took that off threat because what would I do? Uh, 107 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: and and his name. He's not my same subisitiontive kids. 108 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: And my son does not know that he has another father, 109 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: a biological father, And I don't know if QUESTION ever 110 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: tell him. Listening to your podcast, I know that that 111 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: too much damage will be done. It's not something that 112 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: I share with everybody. Um recently, I just told my 113 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: wife end up four years and that was by a 114 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: complete accident. Didn't mean to what it happened. And I 115 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: was so ashamed because I thought that I had told him, 116 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: but I didn't because it's something so shameful. So yeah, 117 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: that's my secret. I don't know if it will ever 118 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: come out. I don't know if I wanted to thank 119 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: you so much for your podcast because it really brings 120 00:07:52,880 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: a light to to my world. Thank you, Danny. If 121 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: you'd like to share your story, call one eight eight 122 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: eight Secret zero and record your story. We won't be 123 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: able to run all the stories, but we do want 124 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: to shine a light on as many as we can. 125 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: The number again is one eight eight eight Secret and 126 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: then the numeral zero. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, 127 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 128 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.