WEBVTT - Public Onanism 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:05.680 In the air everywhere. Back at it again on a Saturday, 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:10.000 Saturday Saturday, because hey, you can't just do the show 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.399 five nights a week. You gotta do it eight days 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:15.760 a week, because four hours a night on the overnight 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:18.800 clearly not enough. We are back on another addition to 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:22.280 the Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard And as a bonus, now, 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.479 I punished you, all right, I punished you the listener 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:32.480 with a gag on only podcast on Friday, and so 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:37.760 as a Olive branch, if you will here on Saturday, 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:41.800 you get just me. It's all Mallard, all the time. 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:45.640 You give us thirty plus minutes and we will give 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:50.560 you nothing but a headache. But we know listen. Uh, 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:53.120 we thank you for supporting the podcast. You guys have 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:58.600 been wonderful. As this is a spinoff of the radio show. 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:03.200 As we like to say, it's just a little small podcast. Uh, 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.400 it's an active charity. It's an active charity. Also, before 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:10.200 I get into it today on the podcast, we've got 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:16.440 quite the menu, a global exclusive on this podcast. But 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.520 I want to think I've had a few cameos here 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:23.320 recently and you guys have been great, and uh, and 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.800 I've had a lot of fun with that. As you know, 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:28.360 we're not a morning Zoo show. We don't do shoutouts. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.080 We don't, but it's been been pretty neat. I mean, 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:34.800 it's some big super fans of the show that have 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:38.000 reached out and I really get a kick. Some of 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.480 you guys have had me send messages to your wives, 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:45.920 which I think that's hilarious. I think that's tremendous. The 0:01:46.319 --> 0:01:50.880 women that are by marriage put in a spot where 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:53.000 they end up listening to the show because you happen 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:54.840 to like the show and we thank you for that, 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:56.440 and you try to get the women and you're in 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:59.680 your lives to to listen, and it's a it's quite amusing. 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:03.680 So Cameo dot com is the website there, Ben Mallard. 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:07.840 It's not free, but we've had some fun with that. 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:11.920 So on this podcast, the Saturday podcast, we've got Halfway 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:17.000 House Mallard, Halfway House Mallard, Golblo exclusive pop quiz, which 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:20.760 is gonna be interesting because normally I asked the pop 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:24.560 quiz question for Gagon, but Gagon is not here, so 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:26.000 we don't have to worry about West of the four 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.960 or five, and we'll get scientifical well, probably end up 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:32.960 getting scientifical before pop quiz. I. I continue to be 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:37.120 fascinated by these science stories, and so I thought, you know, 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:39.880 I can't really use them, most of them on the 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.880 radio show because it is, you know, in air quotes, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.919 a sports talk radio show. But on the podcast we 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:49.360 we have more freedom, we have more flexibility, we can 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:52.000 do different things, and so I thought, why not some 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:53.960 of the stories. I mean, I'm reading these things anyway, 0:02:55.680 --> 0:03:00.919 So what's what's to lose by by not doing them 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.160 or doing them? I should say by doing them, I 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.280 should say. So anyway, we'll start with Halfway House Mallow. 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:10.000 This is a podcasting. This is something I've not talked 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:13.560 about on the radio show. Some of you have figured 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.400 this out, which is a little scary. I don't know 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:20.560 if you're hacking my email or your my phone and 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:24.519 my text message and all that, but you you might 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:25.959 have picked up on this if you listen to the 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.240 radio show at all. This week, I was not in 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.800 on Thursday into Friday, but for the first time in 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:37.560 roughly fifteen months, I was actually schedule. I didn't just 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.600 pop in here after a rainstorm. I made my triumphant 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.440 return to the I Heart Media building the Premier Networks 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:48.240 building where the late Rush Limbaugh did a show when 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.280 he came to l A and Art Bell and Casey 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:54.160 Casum and Legends of Dr Laura worked out of their 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.120 Jim Rome when he did the show for the Premiere Networks. Uh, 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:59.320 it's a it's a cool building. I've been some great 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:02.640 radio talent. George Nor does the show out of there. 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:06.880 And Fox Sports Radio has studios, which is our main hub, 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:09.760 and I've worked at Fox Sports Radio for over twenty years. 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.520 But because of the global pandemic, we were doing the 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:17.520 show from the home studio. And Uh, the reason I 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:21.279 can now reveal why I was in studio this past 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:26.120 week because last weekend, while you were living your lives 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:30.279 and you were listening to the podcast, I was moving 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.080 Man Mallard. Now I should have brought in moving man Matt. 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.360 That would have made sense. But it was a short move. 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.120 It wasn't a long move, but I moved. I packed 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:41.520 up me and the wife there, we packed up the 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:49.000 station wagon, the Winnebago and high tailor skdaddled out of 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.800 the Mallard mansion. Now, there's a lot of reasons for it, 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:55.919 some of them I don't want to get into on 0:04:56.000 --> 0:05:00.320 the podcast their private their personal UM. But one of 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.400 the reasons this happened, there's, you know, some some bad 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:06.200 things happened in my life that led to this UM. 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:12.200 But also the housing market is very robust where I'm 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:18.320 in California, and it was a tremendous time financially to 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.960 do it. UM. But also I mean, there's some tragedy 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:25.960 in my life, and I, uh, you know, inherited some 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:29.279 some things and some things I didn't inherit, but I 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:32.760 have to pay for those other things. So anyway, my life. 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.920 The point is, my life is in boxes. And I 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:36.880 was giving some clues. You know, you guys picked up 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:39.520 on it. I give you credit or Alfae alienal Pine 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:41.520 or a couple other guys were like, hey, you know, 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:44.520 where are you moving? Uh? When do you moving? Did 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.960 you move? Uh? And I was like, well, you guys 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:50.440 picked up I'm talking about moving stuff to storage and 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:53.160 things like that. Different things I've I've said, different clues 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.760 that I've tossed up very vague, very vague, UM, But 0:05:56.839 --> 0:06:00.040 you guys picked up on it. And so it's the 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.560 summer of Bubba Rap and I said, I'm living in 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:06.000 the Mallard half away house, the Halfway House of Mallard, 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:11.680 and that is true because I moved to a temporary location. 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:14.640 I sold the house. I loved the house I was 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:16.440 living in. I want to be very clear about that. 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.200 I would have been very happy to stay in that 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.120 house for the rest of my years. It was a 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:25.960 very good house. I I was very proud of the 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:27.359 fact that I was able to put a studio, and 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:28.920 that was something I wanted to do. And I remember 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:30.360 when I got into radio, I was like, Wow, maybe 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:32.040 I'll put a studio and someday I'll be like a 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.680 big talk show host, you know, big radio guy. And 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:37.000 of course it never happened. It took up. It took 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:40.440 a radio station w e I in Boston to offer 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.039 me a gig, uh and then I said, okay, I'll 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.280 do it, and then I just had them essentially pay 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.400 for it. They paid me back. I built the studio 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:49.520 out and then I didn't use it. I lost the 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:51.960 EI gig because our show got picked up by the 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:55.080 Sports Hub in Boston and I can't be working at 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:58.600 both sports radio stations in Boston. So as a result, 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.640 I lost the w e I get again. So for 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.039 a little while, I didn't use the studio at all. 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:07.200 And then the podcast came along and I did the podcast, 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:10.280 and then the world shut down, and so we moved 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.800 in and decided to, you know, we could continue to 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:16.120 the show from there. So I have great memories, a 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.880 lot of family parties, and we would host the holidays 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.440 for the family pretty much my wife's family. All my 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:27.040 family lives elsewhere, but my wife's family, and so so 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:28.720 that was neat. That was cool, and we have great 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:30.840 memories there and whatnot. But it was it was time. 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:35.120 I mean, everything lined up, as Andrea these sports sourcers 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.800 would say, everything lined up for this to work out. 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.960 And I am not like many I'm not a fan 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:46.280 of chain. I'm not. I don't think many people like change. 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:49.400 I'm a creature of habit. I have my routine. I 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:51.880 get ready for the show at a certain time. I 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:55.240 know where to go and what to do and what 0:07:55.280 --> 0:08:00.000 I'm looking for, and everything is sideways. I don't know 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:01.640 if it sounded like that on the show. I don't 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:03.320 know if you could pick up on that. Maybe not. 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:06.640 I think I'm a pretty good actor in that regard. 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:08.080 But we had we had a lot of good stories 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:09.960 this week to talk about with the Clippers and some 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.360 of the other things that happened. There were some some 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:18.680 good sports talk radio for June, which is normally the 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:22.200 dead zone. I mean, let's be honest, June is not 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:25.160 not a time which is typically great sports talk radio. 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:29.800 It's the dog days for our business. The calendar and 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:35.360 sports radio really begins. Our New Year's Day is the 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.959 first weekend of September, when the NFL kicks off. That's 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:43.679 that's right where it's a it's a sweet spot. It's 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.480 a sweet spot. So uh, we're dealing with the move. 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:51.880 The good news is I have recreated a temporary studio 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:56.160 in the new halfway house of the Mallam Mansion. Another 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:59.000 reason I'm at the halfway. I'll actually be moving in 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.559 a couple of months, depending on how things go. We've 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:07.880 hired a contractor, a good guy guy named Ruben Uh 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:09.520 knows what he's doing. He's got a bunch of guys 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.040 working underneath him as well. It seemed to be very 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:15.559 good tradesmen. Um, you know much better than I am. 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.880 I can't do any of that crap. I know. Just 0:09:18.080 --> 0:09:21.520 Josh in Cincinnati's very talented, and some of you other 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:24.760 guys have sent me messages about how you know you're 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:28.440 able to move around and build kitchens out in bathrooms 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:30.040 and all that. I don't have any of that ability. 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.960 I don't have that gene. I don't have it. But 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:35.080 I will be moving again in a couple of months 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:39.120 to a new place in a secret, secret location off 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.760 the grid, deep in the north Woods. Uh, that's where 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:45.440 I will be located. But in the meantime, be sure 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.160 to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays 0:09:48.160 --> 0:09:51.120 at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.959 catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:57.760 two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:01.080 and the I Heart Radio app. Uh. I came in studio. 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.160 Was great to see Eddie and we caught up and 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.200 Roberto and Coop. I talked to those guys all the time. 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:07.760 I don't even get to talk to Eddie much off 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:09.480 the air the way the set up is because he's 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:10.840 in a different room. But I get to talk to 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:14.680 Eddie pick up my mail. UH. Really want to thank 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:19.239 the Mallard militia. Man. You guys are great. You're wonderful 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:23.320 and so many, so many cool things. A little little trinkets. 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:27.360 Uh you know this that the hat the hat collection 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:31.120 is burgeoning, and we were off this. We were dark 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.360 on the videos, so I didn't get to wear any 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.839 of the new hats on the videos. But the videos 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.680 should be back, assuming the Kremlins don't attack the equipment 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:43.000 in the temporary studio, So we'll start having some videos 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:44.319 next week. So I look forward to that. But in 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:47.600 the meantime, I was here hanging out and it was weird. 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:49.719 It was weird. I was a little concerned when I 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.559 pulled up to the studios here at the corner of 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:56.080 Ventura and Splvida in the San Fernando Valley here just 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.560 across from the Cheesecake factory across the street there at 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.600 the Yeah Sherman Oaks Galeria. I was a little concerned. 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:06.360 I was like, maybe my parking pass won't work. It did, 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:08.440 and then I got to the building, Well, maybe my 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.080 card to get in the buildings past the security didn't work. 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:15.640 I have worked so back in Sherman Oaks and great 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:22.000 memories of this place. I've had tremendous fun doing radio 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.640 here over the years. So anyway, that's the halfway house. 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:26.480 That's where I am right now. If you're concerned about 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:29.720 my life. And I know a lot of people move 0:11:29.840 --> 0:11:32.559 and this is not out of the ordinary. Uh, this 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:35.000 is actually a good news story. It'll it'll be much 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:38.959 much cooler, uh, in the studio that I'm gonna have 0:11:39.320 --> 0:11:42.599 in the new place, the which I I don't know 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.319 if this is the final Mallard mansion. I think it 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.079 is probably gonna be the final mallet match. I don't 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.360 think I'll be moving again unless somebody really just pays 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.440 me a crapload of money, just a shipload of money. Uh, 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:54.360 then maybe I'll do it. But it's gonna be a 0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:56.400 great I'm gonna have a nice studio. Everything will be 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.160 a first class all the way. And not that it wasn't, 0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:01.040 I mean it's it was. It was great also, but 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.280 I am looking forward to as far as the soundproofing 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:08.560 will sound better like nerds stuff, Nerds stuff in radio. Now, 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:13.480 I would like to get to let's get scientifical, which 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:18.920 is a combination of stories that I find around the Internet, 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.800 and I like to call it real or bullshit. It's 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:27.480 a tribute to paying homage to Penn and Teller. They 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:29.720 had a show called Bullshit which was very good. I 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:31.960 thought that was a good show. I don't know if 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.319 they're still working. Are they retired because of the pandemic? 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:35.839 Penn and Teller I have not checked. I used to 0:12:35.840 --> 0:12:37.360 go see them when I was in Vegas. I loved 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:38.760 I don't I'm not a big show guy. I want 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.120 to go to Vegas. But Penn and Teller, I mean 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.760 I used to watch them when I was a punk 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.120 kid on Saturday Night Live and some of the nonsense 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.280 they did, so I was I was a fan. I 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:51.280 was a cult fan of Penn and Teller, and it 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:53.000 was kind of cool that they're still performing. I don't 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.760 think they're doing it right now anyway. So let's get scientifical. 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.520 These are actual scientific stories that I thought were interesting 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:03.439 that I read at some point over the last the 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.240 last seven at ten days. So the headline on this 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:12.760 scientists discover part of the brain addicted to news stories 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:21.000 about impending doom. Do you see this? You do not? All? Right? Uh? 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.719 So this actually is validation. One of the reasons I 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.520 want to bring this up on the podcast for you 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:29.439 is because it validates something that I learned early on 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:34.959 in my careers. How I relate to this. So one 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:39.079 of the catchphrases that I use doing radio is the 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:42.960 better story is in the losing locker room. That's where 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:46.440 the drama is. That's where the finger pointing is. When 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.120 you win, there's a bunch of people there to slob 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.319 or slab a slab or all over you, right to 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.319 ride your junk. They love you, but would you lose 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:58.520 when you're a loser. That's where the real story is, 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.520 and it's how we are wired. And that's what I 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:07.360 took away from this study. But reading about impending doom, 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:12.840 doom and gloom is a hobby that many people have. 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:17.560 It's according to the study here, it's addicting and and 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.360 people will spend hours browsing the internet about you know, 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:24.040 the global warming, we're all gonna die, you know, ten 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.480 years and all this, and people buy that crap. It's 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:30.800 all bullshit. In fact, there was a story done a 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.240 couple of years ago which was hilarious and it went 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.960 back like thirty years prior. I think this came out 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:43.800 like it went back to nineteen and the science community, 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:47.000 if we don't stop this, the you know, we're gonna 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:50.440 run out of gas or uh, you know, global warming, 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:55.120 the sea levels, we're gonna runs. Uh, and you know 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:58.800 none of those things happen. Uh. Now, there is a 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:04.200 climate change in all that, but it's not nearly the 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:07.840 pan horrific story that the people are saying. But anyway, this, 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:11.440 as far as this study is concerned, researchers have discovered. 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.480 This is what's new. They have discovered the part of 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:21.080 the human brain that dictates why some people can't stop 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:26.320 looking at those nerve racking, oh my god, we're all 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:31.080 gonna die type of stories. And so researchers from Washington 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.400 University School of Medicine, this is in St. Louis, say 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.360 how people cope with the uncertainty of what the future 0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.960 holds could come down to the biology of their brains. 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:49.360 That certain people are just wired better to handle bad news. 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.200 They don't look for it, keep their head down, one 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.000 foot in front of the the other, move on. All right. Now, 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:58.200 here's another story that caught my attention. Popcorn perfection. I 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:02.960 love popcorn. To me, a perfect night is to go 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.160 to the movies. And I don't really like movies that much, 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:09.520 but big chub extra large with the refill buttered popcorn, 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:13.600 and like some kind of chocolate, whether it's peanut m 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:20.000 and ms or something amazing Well, they study, but you 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:23.200 imagine the science communion studying this studying popcorn. A study 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:29.280 reveals the secrets to popping every kernel of popcorn, not 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.920 popcorn is an amazingly big snack in America, not around 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:34.960 the world. And a lot of countries they don't eat popcorn. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:41.240 We do, uh, this country corners report they eat as Americans, 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:46.760 we eat fifteen billion courts of popcorn. Popcar is actually 0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:50.440 a pretty good snack if you're on a diet. The 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.840 calories and popcorn come from all the butter, which is 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.560 the good part, and you get a big bucket of 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.040 movie theater popcorn. Right. But the thing about it is 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:03.320 it's when you make it at home. It's never perfectly popped. 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:05.879 But when it's perfectly popped with butter all over it, 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.920 my god, is it good. A recent study looked at 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:13.320 what it takes to make sure every colonel in your 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:17.080 bag of popcorn actually pops uh. And when it comes 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:22.240 to consumers, researchers at the State University of Maringa in 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:27.240 Brazil tell us that people are looking for a great 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:33.679 seed to snack ratio. Remember seed to snack ratio. That 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.040 means when the popcorn is done popping. There isn't a 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:40.240 whole pile of unpopped corn colonels at the bottom back. 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:41.840 You know, one of the things I do to honor 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.560 my dad passed away back in January. My dad loved popcorn. 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:47.720 And I haven't done this. Actually, I gotta get on that. 0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:51.040 I've been dealing with this house crap um. But my 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.800 dad figured out, you know, he didn't buy like the 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.960 bag of Orville Red and Baker or whatever, want any chain. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.359 What he would do he should buy the current annuals 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.640 and then get a paper bag and you measure out 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:05.480 a certain amount of salt, a certain amount of butter, 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:07.520 put it in the bag, and then fold the bag 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:12.840 up and cook it. And made his own version of popcorn. 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:16.080 And it was really good. And he sent me the recipe, 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.439 so I I will make that from time to time 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:24.480 to honor honor him. All right, moving on, We're getting scientifical, 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.560 is what we're doing. Well, Americans, you and I Americans, 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:34.240 believe it or not, are really dumb. We don't know geography. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.120 We think we know, but we don't know. You think 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:39.560 you know, but you don't know what you don't know, 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.040 and you don't know what you don't know. Uh. This 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:47.240 is regarding the national landmarks. According to this study, many 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:52.720 Americans believe the Grand Canyon is in univer State. The 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:57.200 Grand Canyon is a lot of people think it's in Colorado. 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:02.320 What about Niagara Falls? You ever been? Niagara Falls is beautiful, Mike. 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:04.960 I've been there. It's awesome. Was there in the summertime. 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:09.080 A lot of Americans think Niagara Falls is actually in Iceland. 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:16.760 How fucking dumb are these people? Some Americans are confused 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:21.480 by pretty much everything, uh, as far as national geography. 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:26.760 According to a new survey out, they're also very confident. 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.679 Here's the thing. Americans, according to this don't really know 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:33.600 where crap is, but are confident they do, which is 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:36.040 which I guess a good way to go through life. 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:38.679 Like if you don't realize you're wrong and you just 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:40.840 talk loudly. It's like I used to work with a 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:44.200 guy on the weekends. I forget his name. I think 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:49.960 it was lom to Me or something like that. Uh, 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:51.719 And he always said, listen, if you don't know how 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:55.840 to pronounce a name, ben Um, just say it confidently 0:19:56.040 --> 0:20:00.000 and loudly and no one will think you're wrong. Uh. 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.560 He also gave me some terrible real estate advice as well, 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:07.760 but I digress alright. So of people, according to this survey, 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:12.120 think they feel knowledgeable about the locations of the national landmarks, 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:15.639 but only half of those who were pulled correctly identified 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:20.520 that the Redwood Forest is located in California. Another thirty 0:20:21.280 --> 0:20:25.480 correctly said that Shawnee National Forest is in Illinois, but 0:20:26.920 --> 0:20:31.680 incorrectly selected Ireland, that the Shawnee and National forces in Ireland. 0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:36.840 Fewer than four and ten could realize that the Grand 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:42.560 Canyon is in Arizona, less than Colorado, the most common 0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:46.879 incorrect answer. Another of people surveyed believe Niagara Falls is 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:49.440 in Iceland, as we said, not on the New York 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:57.960 Canadian border, only answered correctly. Holy crap. Wow. These stories 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.320 are great though, because they come out every every couple years. 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.640 You know, people, you don't know where Nebraska is, right 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:06.720 or Iowa? What? I have, no idea, no concepts, all right? 0:21:07.119 --> 0:21:09.720 Getting scientific. Another story that caught my attention this week 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:15.400 tiny poisonous caterpillars on the move. Somebody call my guy 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:17.840 Blair and May and all our p ones in Portland, 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:22.399 Maine and beyond. Tiny poisonous caterpillars are spreading across Maine. 0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:29.080 Holy Moses. According to a recent news report, the tiny 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:33.560 caterpillars known as brown tail moss a moss m O 0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:37.800 t h s. They have brown bodies with white streaks, 0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:41.639 orange dots, and thin poisonous hairs. It sounds like a 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:46.240 horror movie and they can cause poison ivy like rashes 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.840 and breathing problems in some people that come across these 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:57.320 poisonous caterpillars. And these were accidentally introduced into the state 0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:02.640 of Massachusetts, the Commonwealth in eight nine seven from from Europe, 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:07.000 and within a matter of a shorter matter of time, 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:10.760 these things spread all over the New England States. And 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:12.760 so you all go back to here we are in 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:17.440 one and in the decades that have followed, the number 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:20.800 have declined and they're not doing as well. But they're 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:24.760 mainly found just along the coast of Maine and in 0:22:24.920 --> 0:22:27.919 Cape cod where all those high salute in one percent 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:31.399 political types in Hollywood phonies hang out on the cape. 0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:37.080 Uh So, man like, there's a lot of stuff in 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:42.840 the world that would classify as a horror movie. Tiny 0:22:43.040 --> 0:22:47.320 poisonous counterpillars, it sounds about right right. It sounds about 0:22:47.400 --> 0:22:51.800 brown bodies, white streaks, orange dots, thin poisonous hairs. That 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:56.760 checks a lot of boxes on the horror side of things. 0:22:56.760 --> 0:23:06.280 All right, last scientifical story, Last scientifical story. Doom and gloom. Now, I, 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:09.320 from time to time will point out that you and 0:23:09.359 --> 0:23:14.720 I both have a failed illness, that every single person 0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:19.280 before us and every single person after us is going 0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:21.359 to die. We all have a fatal This it's called life. 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:26.359 There's no getting out alive. Uh. And the most deadly thing, 0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:31.880 the most deadly thing in our world is oxygen. Everyone 0:23:31.960 --> 0:23:35.920 that's ever breathed oxygen has died, unless you're a lizard person. 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:40.400 I bring this up. Not to be a bummer, Benny Downer, 0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:44.600 Not to be that. But scientists have developed several ways 0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:50.560 to slow the aging process. People are living longer, and 0:23:50.600 --> 0:23:54.320 there's some that think they'll be able to make human 0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:59.880 beings like the terminator people overre Tesla for example. Well, 0:24:00.240 --> 0:24:02.399