Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. Back at it again on a Saturday,
Speaker 1: Saturday Saturday, because hey, you can't just do the show
Speaker 1: five nights a week. You gotta do it eight days
Speaker 1: a week, because four hours a night on the overnight
Speaker 1: clearly not enough. We are back on another addition to
Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard And as a bonus, now,
Speaker 1: I punished you, all right, I punished you the listener
Speaker 1: with a gag on only podcast on Friday, and so
Speaker 1: as a Olive branch, if you will here on Saturday,
Speaker 1: you get just me. It's all Mallard, all the time.
Speaker 1: You give us thirty plus minutes and we will give
Speaker 1: you nothing but a headache. But we know listen. Uh,
Speaker 1: we thank you for supporting the podcast. You guys have
Speaker 1: been wonderful. As this is a spinoff of the radio show.
Speaker 1: As we like to say, it's just a little small podcast. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's an active charity. It's an active charity. Also, before
Speaker 1: I get into it today on the podcast, we've got
Speaker 1: quite the menu, a global exclusive on this podcast. But
Speaker 1: I want to think I've had a few cameos here
Speaker 1: recently and you guys have been great, and uh, and
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of fun with that. As you know,
Speaker 1: we're not a morning Zoo show. We don't do shoutouts.
Speaker 1: We don't, but it's been been pretty neat. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's some big super fans of the show that have
Speaker 1: reached out and I really get a kick. Some of
Speaker 1: you guys have had me send messages to your wives,
Speaker 1: which I think that's hilarious. I think that's tremendous. The
Speaker 1: women that are by marriage put in a spot where
Speaker 1: they end up listening to the show because you happen
Speaker 1: to like the show and we thank you for that,
Speaker 1: and you try to get the women and you're in
Speaker 1: your lives to to listen, and it's a it's quite amusing.
Speaker 1: So Cameo dot com is the website there, Ben Mallard.
Speaker 1: It's not free, but we've had some fun with that.
Speaker 1: So on this podcast, the Saturday podcast, we've got Halfway
Speaker 1: House Mallard, Halfway House Mallard, Golblo exclusive pop quiz, which
Speaker 1: is gonna be interesting because normally I asked the pop
Speaker 1: quiz question for Gagon, but Gagon is not here, so
Speaker 1: we don't have to worry about West of the four
Speaker 1: or five, and we'll get scientifical well, probably end up
Speaker 1: getting scientifical before pop quiz. I. I continue to be
Speaker 1: fascinated by these science stories, and so I thought, you know,
Speaker 1: I can't really use them, most of them on the
Speaker 1: radio show because it is, you know, in air quotes,
Speaker 1: a sports talk radio show. But on the podcast we
Speaker 1: we have more freedom, we have more flexibility, we can
Speaker 1: do different things, and so I thought, why not some
Speaker 1: of the stories. I mean, I'm reading these things anyway,
Speaker 1: So what's what's to lose by by not doing them
Speaker 1: or doing them? I should say by doing them, I
Speaker 1: should say. So anyway, we'll start with Halfway House Mallow.
Speaker 1: This is a podcasting. This is something I've not talked
Speaker 1: about on the radio show. Some of you have figured
Speaker 1: this out, which is a little scary. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you're hacking my email or your my phone and
Speaker 1: my text message and all that, but you you might
Speaker 1: have picked up on this if you listen to the
Speaker 1: radio show at all. This week, I was not in
Speaker 1: on Thursday into Friday, but for the first time in
Speaker 1: roughly fifteen months, I was actually schedule. I didn't just
Speaker 1: pop in here after a rainstorm. I made my triumphant
Speaker 1: return to the I Heart Media building the Premier Networks
Speaker 1: building where the late Rush Limbaugh did a show when
Speaker 1: he came to l A and Art Bell and Casey
Speaker 1: Casum and Legends of Dr Laura worked out of their
Speaker 1: Jim Rome when he did the show for the Premiere Networks. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a cool building. I've been some great
Speaker 1: radio talent. George Nor does the show out of there.
Speaker 1: And Fox Sports Radio has studios, which is our main hub,
Speaker 1: and I've worked at Fox Sports Radio for over twenty years.
Speaker 1: But because of the global pandemic, we were doing the
Speaker 1: show from the home studio. And Uh, the reason I
Speaker 1: can now reveal why I was in studio this past
Speaker 1: week because last weekend, while you were living your lives
Speaker 1: and you were listening to the podcast, I was moving
Speaker 1: Man Mallard. Now I should have brought in moving man Matt.
Speaker 1: That would have made sense. But it was a short move.
Speaker 1: It wasn't a long move, but I moved. I packed
Speaker 1: up me and the wife there, we packed up the
Speaker 1: station wagon, the Winnebago and high tailor skdaddled out of
Speaker 1: the Mallard mansion. Now, there's a lot of reasons for it,
Speaker 1: some of them I don't want to get into on
Speaker 1: the podcast their private their personal UM. But one of
Speaker 1: the reasons this happened, there's, you know, some some bad
Speaker 1: things happened in my life that led to this UM.
Speaker 1: But also the housing market is very robust where I'm
Speaker 1: in California, and it was a tremendous time financially to
Speaker 1: do it. UM. But also I mean, there's some tragedy
Speaker 1: in my life, and I, uh, you know, inherited some
Speaker 1: some things and some things I didn't inherit, but I
Speaker 1: have to pay for those other things. So anyway, my life.
Speaker 1: The point is, my life is in boxes. And I
Speaker 1: was giving some clues. You know, you guys picked up
Speaker 1: on it. I give you credit or Alfae alienal Pine
Speaker 1: or a couple other guys were like, hey, you know,
Speaker 1: where are you moving? Uh? When do you moving? Did
Speaker 1: you move? Uh? And I was like, well, you guys
Speaker 1: picked up I'm talking about moving stuff to storage and
Speaker 1: things like that. Different things I've I've said, different clues
Speaker 1: that I've tossed up very vague, very vague, UM, But
Speaker 1: you guys picked up on it. And so it's the
Speaker 1: summer of Bubba Rap and I said, I'm living in
Speaker 1: the Mallard half away house, the Halfway House of Mallard,
Speaker 1: and that is true because I moved to a temporary location.
Speaker 1: I sold the house. I loved the house I was
Speaker 1: living in. I want to be very clear about that.
Speaker 1: I would have been very happy to stay in that
Speaker 1: house for the rest of my years. It was a
Speaker 1: very good house. I I was very proud of the
Speaker 1: fact that I was able to put a studio, and
Speaker 1: that was something I wanted to do. And I remember
Speaker 1: when I got into radio, I was like, Wow, maybe
Speaker 1: I'll put a studio and someday I'll be like a
Speaker 1: big talk show host, you know, big radio guy. And
Speaker 1: of course it never happened. It took up. It took
Speaker 1: a radio station w e I in Boston to offer
Speaker 1: me a gig, uh and then I said, okay, I'll
Speaker 1: do it, and then I just had them essentially pay
Speaker 1: for it. They paid me back. I built the studio
Speaker 1: out and then I didn't use it. I lost the
Speaker 1: EI gig because our show got picked up by the
Speaker 1: Sports Hub in Boston and I can't be working at
Speaker 1: both sports radio stations in Boston. So as a result,
Speaker 1: I lost the w e I get again. So for
Speaker 1: a little while, I didn't use the studio at all.
Speaker 1: And then the podcast came along and I did the podcast,
Speaker 1: and then the world shut down, and so we moved
Speaker 1: in and decided to, you know, we could continue to
Speaker 1: the show from there. So I have great memories, a
Speaker 1: lot of family parties, and we would host the holidays
Speaker 1: for the family pretty much my wife's family. All my
Speaker 1: family lives elsewhere, but my wife's family, and so so
Speaker 1: that was neat. That was cool, and we have great
Speaker 1: memories there and whatnot. But it was it was time.
Speaker 1: I mean, everything lined up, as Andrea these sports sourcers
Speaker 1: would say, everything lined up for this to work out.
Speaker 1: And I am not like many I'm not a fan
Speaker 1: of chain. I'm not. I don't think many people like change.
Speaker 1: I'm a creature of habit. I have my routine. I
Speaker 1: get ready for the show at a certain time. I
Speaker 1: know where to go and what to do and what
Speaker 1: I'm looking for, and everything is sideways. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it sounded like that on the show. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you could pick up on that. Maybe not.
Speaker 1: I think I'm a pretty good actor in that regard.
Speaker 1: But we had we had a lot of good stories
Speaker 1: this week to talk about with the Clippers and some
Speaker 1: of the other things that happened. There were some some
Speaker 1: good sports talk radio for June, which is normally the
Speaker 1: dead zone. I mean, let's be honest, June is not
Speaker 1: not a time which is typically great sports talk radio.
Speaker 1: It's the dog days for our business. The calendar and
Speaker 1: sports radio really begins. Our New Year's Day is the
Speaker 1: first weekend of September, when the NFL kicks off. That's
Speaker 1: that's right where it's a it's a sweet spot. It's
Speaker 1: a sweet spot. So uh, we're dealing with the move.
Speaker 1: The good news is I have recreated a temporary studio
Speaker 1: in the new halfway house of the Mallam Mansion. Another
Speaker 1: reason I'm at the halfway. I'll actually be moving in
Speaker 1: a couple of months, depending on how things go. We've
Speaker 1: hired a contractor, a good guy guy named Ruben Uh
Speaker 1: knows what he's doing. He's got a bunch of guys
Speaker 1: working underneath him as well. It seemed to be very
Speaker 1: good tradesmen. Um, you know much better than I am.
Speaker 1: I can't do any of that crap. I know. Just
Speaker 1: Josh in Cincinnati's very talented, and some of you other
Speaker 1: guys have sent me messages about how you know you're
Speaker 1: able to move around and build kitchens out in bathrooms
Speaker 1: and all that. I don't have any of that ability.
Speaker 1: I don't have that gene. I don't have it. But
Speaker 1: I will be moving again in a couple of months
Speaker 1: to a new place in a secret, secret location off
Speaker 1: the grid, deep in the north Woods. Uh, that's where
Speaker 1: I will be located. But in the meantime, be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
Speaker 1: at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
Speaker 1: two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: and the I Heart Radio app. Uh. I came in studio.
Speaker 1: Was great to see Eddie and we caught up and
Speaker 1: Roberto and Coop. I talked to those guys all the time.
Speaker 1: I don't even get to talk to Eddie much off
Speaker 1: the air the way the set up is because he's
Speaker 1: in a different room. But I get to talk to
Speaker 1: Eddie pick up my mail. UH. Really want to thank
Speaker 1: the Mallard militia. Man. You guys are great. You're wonderful
Speaker 1: and so many, so many cool things. A little little trinkets.
Speaker 1: Uh you know this that the hat the hat collection
Speaker 1: is burgeoning, and we were off this. We were dark
Speaker 1: on the videos, so I didn't get to wear any
Speaker 1: of the new hats on the videos. But the videos
Speaker 1: should be back, assuming the Kremlins don't attack the equipment
Speaker 1: in the temporary studio, So we'll start having some videos
Speaker 1: next week. So I look forward to that. But in
Speaker 1: the meantime, I was here hanging out and it was weird.
Speaker 1: It was weird. I was a little concerned when I
Speaker 1: pulled up to the studios here at the corner of
Speaker 1: Ventura and Splvida in the San Fernando Valley here just
Speaker 1: across from the Cheesecake factory across the street there at
Speaker 1: the Yeah Sherman Oaks Galeria. I was a little concerned.
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe my parking pass won't work. It did,
Speaker 1: and then I got to the building, Well, maybe my
Speaker 1: card to get in the buildings past the security didn't work.
Speaker 1: I have worked so back in Sherman Oaks and great
Speaker 1: memories of this place. I've had tremendous fun doing radio
Speaker 1: here over the years. So anyway, that's the halfway house.
Speaker 1: That's where I am right now. If you're concerned about
Speaker 1: my life. And I know a lot of people move
Speaker 1: and this is not out of the ordinary. Uh, this
Speaker 1: is actually a good news story. It'll it'll be much
Speaker 1: much cooler, uh, in the studio that I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: in the new place, the which I I don't know
Speaker 1: if this is the final Mallard mansion. I think it
Speaker 1: is probably gonna be the final mallet match. I don't
Speaker 1: think I'll be moving again unless somebody really just pays
Speaker 1: me a crapload of money, just a shipload of money. Uh,
Speaker 1: then maybe I'll do it. But it's gonna be a
Speaker 1: great I'm gonna have a nice studio. Everything will be
Speaker 1: a first class all the way. And not that it wasn't,
Speaker 1: I mean it's it was. It was great also, but
Speaker 1: I am looking forward to as far as the soundproofing
Speaker 1: will sound better like nerds stuff, Nerds stuff in radio. Now,
Speaker 1: I would like to get to let's get scientifical, which
Speaker 1: is a combination of stories that I find around the Internet,
Speaker 1: and I like to call it real or bullshit. It's
Speaker 1: a tribute to paying homage to Penn and Teller. They
Speaker 1: had a show called Bullshit which was very good. I
Speaker 1: thought that was a good show. I don't know if
Speaker 1: they're still working. Are they retired because of the pandemic?
Speaker 1: Penn and Teller I have not checked. I used to
Speaker 1: go see them when I was in Vegas. I loved
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not a big show guy. I want
Speaker 1: to go to Vegas. But Penn and Teller, I mean
Speaker 1: I used to watch them when I was a punk
Speaker 1: kid on Saturday Night Live and some of the nonsense
Speaker 1: they did, so I was I was a fan. I
Speaker 1: was a cult fan of Penn and Teller, and it
Speaker 1: was kind of cool that they're still performing. I don't
Speaker 1: think they're doing it right now anyway. So let's get scientifical.
Speaker 1: These are actual scientific stories that I thought were interesting
Speaker 1: that I read at some point over the last the
Speaker 1: last seven at ten days. So the headline on this
Speaker 1: scientists discover part of the brain addicted to news stories
Speaker 1: about impending doom. Do you see this? You do not? All? Right? Uh?
Speaker 1: So this actually is validation. One of the reasons I
Speaker 1: want to bring this up on the podcast for you
Speaker 1: is because it validates something that I learned early on
Speaker 1: in my careers. How I relate to this. So one
Speaker 1: of the catchphrases that I use doing radio is the
Speaker 1: better story is in the losing locker room. That's where
Speaker 1: the drama is. That's where the finger pointing is. When
Speaker 1: you win, there's a bunch of people there to slob
Speaker 1: or slab a slab or all over you, right to
Speaker 1: ride your junk. They love you, but would you lose
Speaker 1: when you're a loser. That's where the real story is,
Speaker 1: and it's how we are wired. And that's what I
Speaker 1: took away from this study. But reading about impending doom,
Speaker 1: doom and gloom is a hobby that many people have.
Speaker 1: It's according to the study here, it's addicting and and
Speaker 1: people will spend hours browsing the internet about you know,
Speaker 1: the global warming, we're all gonna die, you know, ten
Speaker 1: years and all this, and people buy that crap. It's
Speaker 1: all bullshit. In fact, there was a story done a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago which was hilarious and it went
Speaker 1: back like thirty years prior. I think this came out
Speaker 1: like it went back to nineteen and the science community,
Speaker 1: if we don't stop this, the you know, we're gonna
Speaker 1: run out of gas or uh, you know, global warming,
Speaker 1: the sea levels, we're gonna runs. Uh, and you know
Speaker 1: none of those things happen. Uh. Now, there is a
Speaker 1: climate change in all that, but it's not nearly the
Speaker 1: pan horrific story that the people are saying. But anyway, this,
Speaker 1: as far as this study is concerned, researchers have discovered.
Speaker 1: This is what's new. They have discovered the part of
Speaker 1: the human brain that dictates why some people can't stop
Speaker 1: looking at those nerve racking, oh my god, we're all
Speaker 1: gonna die type of stories. And so researchers from Washington
Speaker 1: University School of Medicine, this is in St. Louis, say
Speaker 1: how people cope with the uncertainty of what the future
Speaker 1: holds could come down to the biology of their brains.
Speaker 1: That certain people are just wired better to handle bad news.
Speaker 1: They don't look for it, keep their head down, one
Speaker 1: foot in front of the the other, move on. All right. Now,
Speaker 1: here's another story that caught my attention. Popcorn perfection. I
Speaker 1: love popcorn. To me, a perfect night is to go
Speaker 1: to the movies. And I don't really like movies that much,
Speaker 1: but big chub extra large with the refill buttered popcorn,
Speaker 1: and like some kind of chocolate, whether it's peanut m
Speaker 1: and ms or something amazing Well, they study, but you
Speaker 1: imagine the science communion studying this studying popcorn. A study
Speaker 1: reveals the secrets to popping every kernel of popcorn, not
Speaker 1: popcorn is an amazingly big snack in America, not around
Speaker 1: the world. And a lot of countries they don't eat popcorn.
Speaker 1: We do, uh, this country corners report they eat as Americans,
Speaker 1: we eat fifteen billion courts of popcorn. Popcar is actually
Speaker 1: a pretty good snack if you're on a diet. The
Speaker 1: calories and popcorn come from all the butter, which is
Speaker 1: the good part, and you get a big bucket of
Speaker 1: movie theater popcorn. Right. But the thing about it is
Speaker 1: it's when you make it at home. It's never perfectly popped.
Speaker 1: But when it's perfectly popped with butter all over it,
Speaker 1: my god, is it good. A recent study looked at
Speaker 1: what it takes to make sure every colonel in your
Speaker 1: bag of popcorn actually pops uh. And when it comes
Speaker 1: to consumers, researchers at the State University of Maringa in
Speaker 1: Brazil tell us that people are looking for a great
Speaker 1: seed to snack ratio. Remember seed to snack ratio. That
Speaker 1: means when the popcorn is done popping. There isn't a
Speaker 1: whole pile of unpopped corn colonels at the bottom back.
Speaker 1: You know, one of the things I do to honor
Speaker 1: my dad passed away back in January. My dad loved popcorn.
Speaker 1: And I haven't done this. Actually, I gotta get on that.
Speaker 1: I've been dealing with this house crap um. But my
Speaker 1: dad figured out, you know, he didn't buy like the
Speaker 1: bag of Orville Red and Baker or whatever, want any chain.
Speaker 1: What he would do he should buy the current annuals
Speaker 1: and then get a paper bag and you measure out
Speaker 1: a certain amount of salt, a certain amount of butter,
Speaker 1: put it in the bag, and then fold the bag
Speaker 1: up and cook it. And made his own version of popcorn.
Speaker 1: And it was really good. And he sent me the recipe,
Speaker 1: so I I will make that from time to time
Speaker 1: to honor honor him. All right, moving on, We're getting scientifical,
Speaker 1: is what we're doing. Well, Americans, you and I Americans,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, are really dumb. We don't know geography.
Speaker 1: We think we know, but we don't know. You think
Speaker 1: you know, but you don't know what you don't know,
Speaker 1: and you don't know what you don't know. Uh. This
Speaker 1: is regarding the national landmarks. According to this study, many
Speaker 1: Americans believe the Grand Canyon is in univer State. The
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon is a lot of people think it's in Colorado.
Speaker 1: What about Niagara Falls? You ever been? Niagara Falls is beautiful, Mike.
Speaker 1: I've been there. It's awesome. Was there in the summertime.
Speaker 1: A lot of Americans think Niagara Falls is actually in Iceland.
Speaker 1: How fucking dumb are these people? Some Americans are confused
Speaker 1: by pretty much everything, uh, as far as national geography.
Speaker 1: According to a new survey out, they're also very confident.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. Americans, according to this don't really know
Speaker 1: where crap is, but are confident they do, which is
Speaker 1: which I guess a good way to go through life.
Speaker 1: Like if you don't realize you're wrong and you just
Speaker 1: talk loudly. It's like I used to work with a
Speaker 1: guy on the weekends. I forget his name. I think
Speaker 1: it was lom to Me or something like that. Uh,
Speaker 1: And he always said, listen, if you don't know how
Speaker 1: to pronounce a name, ben Um, just say it confidently
Speaker 1: and loudly and no one will think you're wrong. Uh.
Speaker 1: He also gave me some terrible real estate advice as well,
Speaker 1: but I digress alright. So of people, according to this survey,
Speaker 1: think they feel knowledgeable about the locations of the national landmarks,
Speaker 1: but only half of those who were pulled correctly identified
Speaker 1: that the Redwood Forest is located in California. Another thirty
Speaker 1: correctly said that Shawnee National Forest is in Illinois, but
Speaker 1: incorrectly selected Ireland, that the Shawnee and National forces in Ireland.
Speaker 1: Fewer than four and ten could realize that the Grand
Speaker 1: Canyon is in Arizona, less than Colorado, the most common
Speaker 1: incorrect answer. Another of people surveyed believe Niagara Falls is
Speaker 1: in Iceland, as we said, not on the New York
Speaker 1: Canadian border, only answered correctly. Holy crap. Wow. These stories
Speaker 1: are great though, because they come out every every couple years.
Speaker 1: You know, people, you don't know where Nebraska is, right
Speaker 1: or Iowa? What? I have, no idea, no concepts, all right?
Speaker 1: Getting scientific. Another story that caught my attention this week
Speaker 1: tiny poisonous caterpillars on the move. Somebody call my guy
Speaker 1: Blair and May and all our p ones in Portland,
Speaker 1: Maine and beyond. Tiny poisonous caterpillars are spreading across Maine.
Speaker 1: Holy Moses. According to a recent news report, the tiny
Speaker 1: caterpillars known as brown tail moss a moss m O
Speaker 1: t h s. They have brown bodies with white streaks,
Speaker 1: orange dots, and thin poisonous hairs. It sounds like a
Speaker 1: horror movie and they can cause poison ivy like rashes
Speaker 1: and breathing problems in some people that come across these
Speaker 1: poisonous caterpillars. And these were accidentally introduced into the state
Speaker 1: of Massachusetts, the Commonwealth in eight nine seven from from Europe,
Speaker 1: and within a matter of a shorter matter of time,
Speaker 1: these things spread all over the New England States. And
Speaker 1: so you all go back to here we are in
Speaker 1: one and in the decades that have followed, the number
Speaker 1: have declined and they're not doing as well. But they're
Speaker 1: mainly found just along the coast of Maine and in
Speaker 1: Cape cod where all those high salute in one percent
Speaker 1: political types in Hollywood phonies hang out on the cape.
Speaker 1: Uh So, man like, there's a lot of stuff in
Speaker 1: the world that would classify as a horror movie. Tiny
Speaker 1: poisonous counterpillars, it sounds about right right. It sounds about
Speaker 1: brown bodies, white streaks, orange dots, thin poisonous hairs. That
Speaker 1: checks a lot of boxes on the horror side of things.
Speaker 1: All right, last scientifical story, Last scientifical story. Doom and gloom. Now, I,
Speaker 1: from time to time will point out that you and
Speaker 1: I both have a failed illness, that every single person
Speaker 1: before us and every single person after us is going
Speaker 1: to die. We all have a fatal This it's called life.
Speaker 1: There's no getting out alive. Uh. And the most deadly thing,
Speaker 1: the most deadly thing in our world is oxygen. Everyone
Speaker 1: that's ever breathed oxygen has died, unless you're a lizard person.
Speaker 1: I bring this up. Not to be a bummer, Benny Downer,
Speaker 1: Not to be that. But scientists have developed several ways
Speaker 1: to slow the aging process. People are living longer, and
Speaker 1: there's some that think they'll be able to make human
Speaker 1: beings like the terminator people overre Tesla for example. Well,
Speaker 1: they can put things in your brain and they can
Speaker 1: move some stuff around. You'll live as an android within
Speaker 1: a certain amount of time. Well, a new study finds
Speaker 1: immortality is not gonna happen. It's out of reach. An
Speaker 1: international team of scientists, UH, give the bad news. They say,
Speaker 1: no matter how hard we try, every species on Earth
Speaker 1: has a generally fixed finite amount of time aging that
Speaker 1: you know, science cannot stop. That human death is inevitable
Speaker 1: no matter how many vitamins you take, no matter how
Speaker 1: many minutes you spend on the treadmill, and how many
Speaker 1: weights you lift. Doesn't matter, Doc, Mike, doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: much how much piss do you drink, Doc, You're still
Speaker 1: gonna gonna check out. Although Doc's doing pretty good Ducks
Speaker 1: Ducks in his late seventies. Now Doc started calling me boy.
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties and Doc was in his
Speaker 1: early fifties when he started calling the show. And he
Speaker 1: hasn't missed a beat. I give him crap. I I
Speaker 1: hope I just make it the seventies six. My dad
Speaker 1: didn't make it the seventies, and I would make it
Speaker 1: the seventies. And I hope by I have my faculties
Speaker 1: and I'm as sharp as the dock. Uh. Not that
Speaker 1: I want to drink my own urine to get there anyway.
Speaker 1: That the findings of this study reveal, although some people
Speaker 1: live longer today than they did in the distant past,
Speaker 1: the rate of aging among humans isn't really changing all
Speaker 1: that much. So to explain this to you, like your
Speaker 1: five years old, researchers believe that today's life expectancy in
Speaker 1: one has less to do with people growing older and
Speaker 1: more to do with fewer people dying earlier in life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I heard that. Uh it's some other study. I read
Speaker 1: a lot of crap. But there was a study a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago that said the reason back in
Speaker 1: the the Middle Middle Ages that people would would check
Speaker 1: out at such young age, you know that life expectancy
Speaker 1: was like in your thirties or something like that, was
Speaker 1: because the infant mortality rate, you know, and women were
Speaker 1: having children. A lot of the kids were not surviving
Speaker 1: and that factored in. You know, kid checks out on
Speaker 1: the first day that kids supposed to be alive. That
Speaker 1: that does damage to the numbers. Um So, anyway, I
Speaker 1: pop quiz. Now this is where I'm gonna ask you.
Speaker 1: I normally would ask that West of the four or
Speaker 1: five elitist snob, but he's not here. Uh So pop quiz.
Speaker 1: And these are things I found that I found interesting
Speaker 1: and I want to share them with you. They are
Speaker 1: of the science neighborhood. And we'll start with this and
Speaker 1: I'll ask the question, I'll give you a couple of
Speaker 1: seconds to think about it, and then I'll I'll give
Speaker 1: the answer. And that's how we're gonna do it. Alright.
Speaker 1: So a recent survey asked Americans to name their favorite
Speaker 1: and least favorite burger toppings. Now only one thing ranked
Speaker 1: highly on both lists. What topping is? It? Got an answer? Now,
Speaker 1: I like a lot of things in my burger. I
Speaker 1: like uns, like obviously, catchup, I like mustard sometimes the
Speaker 1: Thousand Island depending on my mood, barbecue sauce, depending on
Speaker 1: my mood. But the item, the only item to pop
Speaker 1: up on the highly and and negative list ranked highly
Speaker 1: and k not list pickles. Pickles. I thought of our
Speaker 1: guy Alfie Alien Old Piner in Springfield, mass because alf
Speaker 1: found out that Eddie hates pickles, and alf went out
Speaker 1: and purchased like a gazillion bags of potato chips, pickled
Speaker 1: flavor and all these pickle items uh and some other
Speaker 1: good stuff too, uh for for the guys on the show.
Speaker 1: Was pretty funny. And I remember Eddie's eyes when he
Speaker 1: saw the box with all the pickle stuff. He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: he like rolled his eyes. But I'm not a big
Speaker 1: pickle guy. I spent a lot of time at Deli's,
Speaker 1: you know, growing up Jewish family go to Deli's, the
Speaker 1: cliche and all that. And I love a good pastronami
Speaker 1: sandwich to me, that soul food to me. That so far.
Speaker 1: But the pickles, no, No, not a fan. They always
Speaker 1: give them. I wish I did like pickles because they
Speaker 1: always toss those in. My favorite delhi is is a
Speaker 1: place called Langer's Delhi in l A which is in
Speaker 1: MacArthur Park, and I love Langers. It's only open until
Speaker 1: four because it's in the hood, but I go over
Speaker 1: there and they give you pickles on I love free stuff.
Speaker 1: I love when I when I go to a Mexican restaurant,
Speaker 1: I won't go there if they don't have free chips
Speaker 1: and sauce. I know it's built into the price. If
Speaker 1: I go to an Italian restaurant they don't get bread,
Speaker 1: I'm out. I don't go back. But the pickle thing
Speaker 1: I never got into all right. A new report claims today,
Speaker 1: I think it's the texture, by the way, the pickles.
Speaker 1: A new report claims today UH that UH Americans are
Speaker 1: least likely to do this common activity. What activity is it? Uh,
Speaker 1: and this is on a this is a Monday. The
Speaker 1: answer is going out to eat that people generally do
Speaker 1: not go out to eat on a Monday. A new
Speaker 1: survey asked Americans to name something on their bucket list.
Speaker 1: This was the most common response, What was it? What's
Speaker 1: on your bucket list? I don't really have a bucket list.
Speaker 1: I probably should get a little older, I should have
Speaker 1: a bucket list. I don't. But the answer to this
Speaker 1: survey was wait for it, wait for it, driving a
Speaker 1: race car. Driving a race car, Yeah, well I could
Speaker 1: do that. First of all, I worked the overnight shift,
Speaker 1: and I've been working, having a long commute here while
Speaker 1: I'm at the halfway house and on the highway on
Speaker 1: my way home. Even in l A, with all these
Speaker 1: millions of people, there's nobody on the road other than
Speaker 1: a couple of trucks and Caltrans fixing the highway. Most
Speaker 1: of the time when I'm driving, in a few drunks,
Speaker 1: so I can get up pretty good, but typically I
Speaker 1: max out at about ninety and I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna lose control. I don't think I've ever gone over
Speaker 1: a hundred miles an hour, because I know that when
Speaker 1: you get up to that level. Plus I don't have
Speaker 1: cars that go that fast. I've got commuter cars. It's
Speaker 1: mostly what I have. But even if I did have
Speaker 1: a car that could get that fast, I'd be so
Speaker 1: paranoid that if I got up to two miles an
Speaker 1: hour and one mistake, one hair out of place, cabone
Speaker 1: lights out, get the body bag. I don't want that now.
Speaker 1: Next one. In the nineteen seventies and eighties, half of
Speaker 1: kids did this. Now it is down to ten. What
Speaker 1: is it you know at the answer something I did
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, a product of the of
Speaker 1: that era. Uh, the answer is to walk to school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: apparently kids today don't walk to school. Everyone's paranoid but
Speaker 1: letting their kids walk to school by My mom and
Speaker 1: I a Jewish mother, overly protective Jewish mother, but in hindsight,
Speaker 1: she allowed me to take the school bus and to
Speaker 1: walk home and to school. Not all the time, but
Speaker 1: when I was very little and I started going to
Speaker 1: like first grade, I remember taking the school bus and
Speaker 1: how excited it was. I love the smell of the diesel,
Speaker 1: and I thought, as through the eyes of a child,
Speaker 1: you look at a school bus, You're like, Wow, I'm
Speaker 1: big time. I'm on a school bus and you get
Speaker 1: a little older and you're like, holy fuck, what are
Speaker 1: you doing all right now? Next one? Just over ten
Speaker 1: pc of people say they have stolen this from their
Speaker 1: neighbor without their neighbor noticing. What is it? Got an answer?
Speaker 1: It's hard to do now. It used to be pretty
Speaker 1: easy to do this WiFi. Yeah, wife, it's harder now
Speaker 1: because when I moved, for example, to the halfway house
Speaker 1: the mallor halfway house, I did see if I could
Speaker 1: get on the neighbor's WiFi, and they were all locked.
Speaker 1: He needed the password. Now, the veteran move would be
Speaker 1: if you go to a neighbor and how can I
Speaker 1: borrow your WiFi? Can I use your WiFi? And then
Speaker 1: if you're that other neighbor, you said, okay, yeah, how
Speaker 1: do you Why don't you give me, like, you know,
Speaker 1: five bucks a month or something like that, and who
Speaker 1: cares if they use your WiFi and you get an
Speaker 1: extra money. I'm saying, go crazy, little extra cash. You
Speaker 1: know it adds up. Nothing wrong with that, alright. Fient
Speaker 1: of kids say they want to do this when they
Speaker 1: grow up, although when they actually grow up, most of
Speaker 1: them don't want to actually do the job. The answer
Speaker 1: you probably think like police officer, fireman, astronauts, something like that.
Speaker 1: The answer is actually zookeeper. I get that. It makes sense. Ay,
Speaker 1: you're a kid, you like animals, be you go to
Speaker 1: the zoo and you see the zookeeper wearing the brown
Speaker 1: outfit and the funny safari hat. You're like, hey, I
Speaker 1: could do that. They get to hang out with elephants
Speaker 1: and rhinos and monkeys and how cool is that? And
Speaker 1: then you eventually realize you're like, wait a minute, but
Speaker 1: they actually clean up the ship and they don't often
Speaker 1: make a lot of money. Holy crap, what's that about?
Speaker 1: Another thing when I when I was younger. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they still have this. I know when the
Speaker 1: late night talk shows were big. They're terrible. I cannot
Speaker 1: watch the late night talk shows are not funny. But
Speaker 1: when he used to be good, and that was like
Speaker 1: big entertainment was a communal experience when people would watch
Speaker 1: the late night shows, and it pretty much ended with
Speaker 1: Jay Leno and David Letterman, at least for me. I
Speaker 1: just like, these other guys are funny, but they used
Speaker 1: to have Remember the people from the zoos there was
Speaker 1: a guy from the zoo in Ohio. Man. I forget
Speaker 1: the guy's name, Hannah. I think it was Hannah. Uh.
Speaker 1: And they would come out there and they'd have all
Speaker 1: these different weird lizards and snakes, and the the bit
Speaker 1: was always the same. The bit would be put the
Speaker 1: snake around the neck of the talk traw host and
Speaker 1: the talk rows would freak out and all that. Uh,
Speaker 1: and that that was kind of cool, Like I remember
Speaker 1: watching that. Boy, I can I can just go on
Speaker 1: TV shows and I can get the you know, the
Speaker 1: snake out and and the and the weird looking like
Speaker 1: it's not really a monkey? What is it? You know,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a dog, but it's not a dog.
Speaker 1: It's a cat, but it's not a cat. What not coming?
Speaker 1: All right? Men, on average US dudes will do this
Speaker 1: fewer than ten times today. What is it? You got
Speaker 1: an answer? No, it's you're wrong again. All right, you're
Speaker 1: still wrong. The correct answer is smile. Smile that men
Speaker 1: on average will smile fewer than ten times. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not a huge smile guy. I become more of a
Speaker 1: smile guy as I've gotten older. But there was a
Speaker 1: long period of time I just didn't smile, but I
Speaker 1: mind it. You know, it's a it's a it's a
Speaker 1: good good thing, especially when I was walking when the
Speaker 1: gyms were closed and I before I got my treadmill,
Speaker 1: and I was walking around and you come across people
Speaker 1: and just like a smile and a nod, smiling nod,
Speaker 1: a wave lets people know you're not they're gonna You're
Speaker 1: not gonna bludging them. It's a friendly gester. Fifty of
Speaker 1: men wouldn't be able to tell you this about their wife.
Speaker 1: What is it? Shoe? Siye, Yeah, I think I know
Speaker 1: my wife's shoe size. But if she gave me a
Speaker 1: credit card and put me on one of the websites
Speaker 1: and said buy me shoes, I would just be guessing.
Speaker 1: I would absolutely be guessing. That would be it, all right.
Speaker 1: Most people have at least three of these, and they
Speaker 1: don't realize how important they are until they don't have one.
Speaker 1: What is it? You got an answer? Well, this is
Speaker 1: a big one. The phone charger. The phone charger, What
Speaker 1: use is it having a phone? There's no use having
Speaker 1: a phone if you don't have it charged. It's obvious now,
Speaker 1: something that I picked up a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: which is great. It's been around for a while. The
Speaker 1: battery backup. Like I love going to the Sequoya National Forest,
Speaker 1: but I don't get cell reception up there. I don't
Speaker 1: really good cell reception. And often I'll be hiking around
Speaker 1: and I my battery on my phone. You're out several hours,
Speaker 1: you're battery on your phone. If it's not fully charged,
Speaker 1: we'll go down. So you bring that battery back up.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. You'll be out in the middle of
Speaker 1: the forest, the giant forest, and with those huge three
Speaker 1: thousand year old Sequoia trees, you can charge your phone
Speaker 1: while you're walking along. It's pretty cool. It's a pretty
Speaker 1: pretty cool Alright, last one here and we'll put the
Speaker 1: pop quiz to bed. Get the hell out of here.
Speaker 1: We do have the mail bag on Sunday. Seventies seven
Speaker 1: percent of people say this infuriorate infuriates them. Easier for
Speaker 1: me to say when someone does this at the grocery store,
Speaker 1: what is it? I want to point out before I
Speaker 1: tell you what it is. I'm in this category. I've
Speaker 1: had this happen while I was at Costco. I've had
Speaker 1: this happen at the Kroger. It's been bad the answer
Speaker 1: seventy seven percent of people say this infuriates them is
Speaker 1: when they're at the grocery store. They're they're online to
Speaker 1: check out, and the person in front of him leaves
Speaker 1: while checking out to grab something else off the shelf.
Speaker 1: So then you are then delayed because they forgot to
Speaker 1: get the item before they went to the checkout. Now,
Speaker 1: what you should do in that situation is if you
Speaker 1: go as a couple, Well, if you're the husband, you
Speaker 1: have the wife go get the product, and if you're
Speaker 1: the obviously vice versa on the other side. Um, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been in this and then he can you hold
Speaker 1: my spot? I always do it. I hold their spot.
Speaker 1: If I'm like a total douche bag, I hold their spot.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm thinking, man, why am
Speaker 1: I doing this? Why the hell am I doing this?
Speaker 1: You know, I just want to I want to check out.
Speaker 1: I want my chocolate almonds. I want to get out
Speaker 1: of here. What are we doing here? What do we do? Well? Anyway, listen,
Speaker 1: that is it. The Saturday podcast is fin too and done.
Speaker 1: We will have a mail bag podcast. We will if
Speaker 1: he's on his best behavior, bring back gag on. We
Speaker 1: will find out. We'll have the mail bag as we'll
Speaker 1: have a great rest of You're Saturday, and boy, you
Speaker 1: know record this obviously before Saturday. You'll know if I'm
Speaker 1: in a really good mood or a really bad mood,
Speaker 1: depending on how things go with the People's team, the Clippers,
Speaker 1: you'll know before I know, at least at this time. Anyway,
Speaker 1: have a great rest of your day. Will catch you
Speaker 1: next time on the fifth hour. Mahallow aloha. Be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays
Speaker 1: at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at
Speaker 1: two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: and the I Heart Radio app.