Speaker 1: It's topic times called eight hundred and five five five
Speaker 1: one to join into the discussion with the Breakfast.
Speaker 2: Club morning everybody you see j n V. Charlamagne the God.
Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club because Jess Hilarious is here. Now,
Speaker 2: somebody emailed Jess and wanted them to fix their mess. Now, Jess,
Speaker 2: what was the email?
Speaker 3: What was the question?
Speaker 4: So it was it was very broad.
Speaker 5: But basically, this girl has a boyfriend who uh uh,
Speaker 5: she does well. She has a baby father, and they
Speaker 5: are somewhat similar to me and Rome situation. They're very
Speaker 5: very cool clothes, they do business together, and her boyfriend
Speaker 5: has a child that he is attached to from a
Speaker 5: previous relationship that's not his biological daughter, but he still
Speaker 5: is very attached to where they were only in a
Speaker 5: relationship for a year and he grew attached to this
Speaker 5: little girl and he kind of uses that as leverage
Speaker 5: for the girlfriend being cool with her baby daddy.
Speaker 6: And for people who just might be lose live to
Speaker 6: the breast Club.
Speaker 1: Roome is just his baby's father, yes, with their like
Speaker 1: brother and sisters.
Speaker 3: Yes, it is her baby daddy.
Speaker 2: Brother right, Yes, So I mean I really would say,
Speaker 2: once you break up with the mom, especially, that's not
Speaker 2: your child. You break up with that baby too. They
Speaker 2: only been together one year, Yeah, that's I feel. And
Speaker 2: the baby got a father, Yeah, baby has a father.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure the woman is dating somebody else.
Speaker 2: Yes, So not all three of us gonna be at
Speaker 2: the all three of us in the mom gonna be
Speaker 2: at the graduation. So no, once you break up with
Speaker 2: that mom, you break up with the baby, especially if
Speaker 2: it's only been a year, Like, you gotta let that
Speaker 2: baby go, that's not your child. But also in a
Speaker 2: new situation, I would look at that different. You gotta
Speaker 2: set boundaries. You just can't.
Speaker 3: You can't.
Speaker 2: You and your baby father can't be all cool and
Speaker 2: together and shop. Nah, like this is a new relationship.
Speaker 2: I respect what you have together, but this ain't this
Speaker 2: one big family.
Speaker 1: And it ain't even no time a year a year
Speaker 1: like firt of all, he shouldn't even be meeting your
Speaker 1: child after the year, and how you grow a bond
Speaker 1: with a whole child and a year?
Speaker 5: First of all, I can't hide no nigga from my
Speaker 5: child for a year grown, so you know. Yeah, But
Speaker 5: and then the little girl was like nine ten, you know,
Speaker 5: she's older so it's like, yo, all right, like she
Speaker 5: already knows her father. She spent the last year with
Speaker 5: one year with you, and yeah, you kids are very impressionable.
Speaker 4: You're a good guy. He's good with kids and stuff,
Speaker 4: and that's cool.
Speaker 6: But do you really know a person after the year
Speaker 6: have them aun?
Speaker 4: And then why is your mom trying to be the
Speaker 4: dad collector? This is not what.
Speaker 3: I'm saying.
Speaker 4: We're not gonna do that, you know.
Speaker 3: Let's go to the full life. Hello, who's this.
Speaker 7: Georgia?
Speaker 3: What's up? What's your thoughts?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 7: I'll say, man, I don't feel like that's right, because.
Speaker 3: When when you're in a relationship and you start something new,
Speaker 3: you don't want to bring on leugage from the path
Speaker 3: back and tend to kindle something.
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, So leave that baggage. And
Speaker 6: I appreciate that y'all be breaking up with kids. Boy,
Speaker 6: y'all cold.
Speaker 2: But she got a dad and now she got because
Speaker 2: the mom is dating someone else.
Speaker 3: I think justice right? Three dads said dad r. Let's
Speaker 3: just say that collecting like that, like, Hello, Georgia, mama,
Speaker 3: what's your thoughts?
Speaker 7: My thoughts are if she's entering a relationships. She does
Speaker 7: need to spend some boundaries with her baby father, but
Speaker 7: it also sounds like he's just being petty.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and the only reason he only wants to be
Speaker 8: around the little girl is because she's around her baby father.
Speaker 4: That's what it sounds like. Down a baby.
Speaker 8: Yeah, don't you sound like you care about the little girl.
Speaker 7: He just wanted to kiss off his girl for yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like that because she said he
Speaker 5: uses it as leverage.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because you love somebody, you accept everything that comes with him, right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like if you if somebody loves Jess, you gotta accept
Speaker 1: the child. They gotta accept Roome, They gotta accept everybody.
Speaker 4: Except room, yo, because you always make things, you gotta
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 3: You gotta accept Room.
Speaker 2: But also people gotta understand if somebody is dating somebody
Speaker 2: with a baby daddy and the baby daddy's cool. A
Speaker 2: lot of times, the baby daddy's cool because you want
Speaker 2: as close as normal the child.
Speaker 6: My child is still under age.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be here, bro, that's right because you want
Speaker 2: the child to feel comfortable. And like, no, I can
Speaker 2: call my mom, I can call my dad. My mom
Speaker 2: and dad are cool. I should come to them. Now,
Speaker 2: this new gentleman is here. I got it that he's
Speaker 2: dated my mom and I respect him. But you still want,
Speaker 2: you know, to feel as normal as possible.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and telling you my my son loves me and
Speaker 5: his dad's relationship and he loves that.
Speaker 6: How do you feel when other guy's come around?
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't introduce him to everybody.
Speaker 3: Make you seem like guy's coming around all the time.
Speaker 4: I collect don't listen to shut up?
Speaker 3: Hello this m what's your thoughts?
Speaker 7: I'm sorry I couldn't hear you.
Speaker 3: I said, what's your thoughts?
Speaker 5: Mom?
Speaker 3: Your dad? Collector?
Speaker 8: Okay, so my thoughts are uh. I definitely think that
Speaker 8: after only a year and a half of stating someone
Speaker 8: that you shouldn't even have a bond with the child.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 8: I think a lot of problems with people that are
Speaker 8: dating that you know have children. They just introduce their
Speaker 8: kids to people too. I mean, maybe like a high
Speaker 8: in vibe maybe passed by, but an eight year old
Speaker 8: and a man like absolutely not. So he needs to
Speaker 8: win hisself off and the mom released a thing better
Speaker 8: next time, Like you wouldn't have this problem if you want.
Speaker 7: To introduce your child before you really even knew the person.
Speaker 2: But I kind of disagree though, Like if if a
Speaker 2: woman is dating a man, and the woman has sole
Speaker 2: custody of that child, right, So that means if a
Speaker 2: woman is dating, you know, at first to get serious,
Speaker 2: and then they start going out a lot. So when
Speaker 2: I go out a lot, what am I gonna leave
Speaker 2: my son at home?
Speaker 3: My son?
Speaker 2: Know, after after a while, six seven, eight months, you
Speaker 2: start taking your child with you because you want to
Speaker 2: see how that man is with your child.
Speaker 6: So that's so.
Speaker 3: Now I disagree with you.
Speaker 4: I don't think that's so.
Speaker 2: Now you go out a lot, and if that person,
Speaker 2: if you really into that person, just think about when
Speaker 2: you started dating your wife. I started dating my wife.
Speaker 2: We were around each other a lot. And if you
Speaker 2: have a child, a young child at the time that's
Speaker 2: eight nine, you're gonna be taking that child to plays
Speaker 2: and games and this and that.
Speaker 5: Because this is not just somebody that you just hitting
Speaker 5: and missing, you know what I'm saying. This is somebody
Speaker 5: that you may not see yourself with them for the
Speaker 5: rest of your life. But it's like, all right, I
Speaker 5: mean I'm feeling you see.
Speaker 1: What you need to. You don't feel like you're gonna
Speaker 1: be with the present for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: You gotta get this man from time.
Speaker 5: So why I said, I don't introduce everybody to ash,
Speaker 5: But when I feel like there's like, okay, this, this
Speaker 5: is like something and you're giving me butterflies and I'm
Speaker 5: actually talking to people about you, I do feel like
Speaker 5: there is something, you know. So when a girl gets
Speaker 5: that feeling would a long time.
Speaker 4: So she feels like that right.
Speaker 5: And she's she's gonna bring that. I don't think it's
Speaker 5: wrong with her introducing.
Speaker 3: The depending on how tight that relationship.
Speaker 5: But it's up to the guy. Yo, if it's done,
Speaker 5: it's done. After a year or a year.
Speaker 4: And a half. Wean yourself off the baby.
Speaker 5: I'm not saying just completely cut yourself out, but wean
Speaker 5: yourself off. It didn't even explain. So if she you
Speaker 5: that close with a look, your mom collected me. So
Speaker 5: we're done.
Speaker 3: Question is what's the question? Breaking down again? It's a
Speaker 3: lot going on. Oh my god, should you.
Speaker 1: Stop being cool with your and your exes family for
Speaker 1: your new man, den Bar, it's just ever gonna be
Speaker 1: able to find you happiness because room's in your life.
Speaker 2: Shut up, man, we'll take your calls when we come
Speaker 2: back about me. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, more
Speaker 2: thing everybody. It's dj n V Charlamage the God we
Speaker 2: are the Breakfast Club. Jess Hilarious is here now if
Speaker 2: you just join us. We're asking eight hundred and five
Speaker 2: eight five one on five one.
Speaker 3: What's the question? Okay, there's a lot of moving parts, so.
Speaker 4: All right, Charlamagne, what is the question? What would you say?
Speaker 1: I thought it was, you know, basically, should you stop
Speaker 1: being cool with your ex and you know your ex's
Speaker 1: family for your new man?
Speaker 5: Do you cut off a child from a previous relationship
Speaker 5: going into a new relationship if it's not biologically yours?
Speaker 3: There you go boom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you do, depending on how close you
Speaker 2: and the child does so, if you raise that child,
Speaker 2: let's say you've been with that person for eight to
Speaker 2: ten years, different saying because we're just a question, but
Speaker 2: if you ask a question, you gotta have boundaries.
Speaker 3: You gotta explain. If it's long time and.
Speaker 2: You raised the child, yes, I think you should still
Speaker 2: be in that child's life, but it was only a
Speaker 2: year like this situation, Yeah, I just say that'll disagreed.
Speaker 4: I didn't disagree and be dead.
Speaker 3: But I didn't disagree. Yes you did, I didn't. You
Speaker 3: actually did. No.
Speaker 2: You said a year was too soon to introduce to
Speaker 2: the child. I'm like, yeah, it might not be too send.
Speaker 3: You disagree with a car show, throw my own car show?
Speaker 3: Is that what you're gonna do?
Speaker 8: Better?
Speaker 4: Start with that?
Speaker 3: Is that what you're gonna do? Well?
Speaker 2: My call shows this Sunday, By the way, Memphis made
Speaker 2: five and under a free there's gonna be calls from
Speaker 2: young Dolph, Key Glock, fifty cent Bunpy, and myself.
Speaker 3: If you haven't got your tickets, to get your tickets now.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you in Memphis. All right, Now,
Speaker 3: let's get to the fore.
Speaker 1: Hoo Hans, Hello, who's this for making?
Speaker 8: Hey?
Speaker 3: Jay, talk to us. What's your thoughts?
Speaker 7: Okay, So I got two things. First thing is, Jessica,
Speaker 7: I'm so glad you're on there this morning because you
Speaker 7: always give good insight.
Speaker 3: Never one.
Speaker 7: But just tell your friends that he is a placeholder
Speaker 7: for him, that dude is still trying to show up
Speaker 7: for the head and hope that she'll see oh he did.
Speaker 7: He's that type of father to somebody that's not even
Speaker 7: his that's not even his real child, and I can
Speaker 7: take him back. He's going number two and he I
Speaker 7: know you were the one to answer the pull. The
Speaker 7: fact that you talked out and said the extremes are
Speaker 7: either they got to be beefing like Christ and blood
Speaker 7: as baby mama baby daddy, or the opposite of that
Speaker 7: is big, happy family and everybody living in the same house.
Speaker 7: There are so many levels between that when it comes
Speaker 7: to relationships between parents, and just told you that they
Speaker 7: have businesses together and things like that, so they can't
Speaker 7: communicate and have a healthy relationship. One of the biggest
Speaker 7: things about both character is respect, respect of the other,
Speaker 7: charent respect of their.
Speaker 8: Relationships and all of that.
Speaker 7: There's levels to it. It does not mean that they
Speaker 7: are infinitely involved and there's anything going on under the table.
Speaker 7: There are levels to it. And speaking for the faith
Speaker 7: that you can't pop from because all your kids are with.
Speaker 2: Here, correct, I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't relate, Frank, but either.
Speaker 7: Of y'all can't relate. But y'all also have both stepped
Speaker 7: out on your wife.
Speaker 3: Whoa whoa, whoa whoa?
Speaker 6: What you bringing up old stuff? Both stuff?
Speaker 3: Man? Okay, continue, I'm just saying.
Speaker 7: I'm going to be seventeen this year. He and her
Speaker 7: dad do business together. We have not had any dealings
Speaker 7: since I was pregnant with her. It's just right this year.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 7: There's a mutual respect and understanding that I have for
Speaker 7: his relationships and situations and that he has for mine
Speaker 7: as well. But we we do not our, We don't fight,
Speaker 7: We don't do any of that.
Speaker 3: What does your new man think about it?
Speaker 7: He don't have a problem with it because they've been introduced.
Speaker 7: They we spend time together on holidays, all day. It's
Speaker 7: no problem. If you create any man that is creating
Speaker 7: drama and bringing that into my face, my energy, my family,
Speaker 7: she wouldn't be there anyway.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's right now. I agree with everything she said.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna tell you something that's interesting.
Speaker 1: There's been such a negative narrative around baby Mama's and
Speaker 1: baby daddy that we always expect it to be drama.
Speaker 6: So when I see situations like justin Rome and how.
Speaker 1: They co parents as well, I didn't know it was
Speaker 1: so many people out here cole parenting so well.
Speaker 2: But co parenting is not the problem. I don't anybody
Speaker 2: you have to co parent. That's not the problem. The
Speaker 2: problem is when cordial cold parents, like actually being friends.
Speaker 3: That's that's not the problem.
Speaker 2: The problem is when I feel like they cross the lines, right,
Speaker 2: And sometimes I feel like people cross the lines in
Speaker 2: that situation, Like with the individual that you said, I
Speaker 2: feel like he's crossing the lines, meaning they've only been
Speaker 2: together a short period of time.
Speaker 3: There's no reason to still be in that child's life
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: That child has a father, that child has a new
Speaker 2: boyfriend that the mom has, So it's to the point
Speaker 2: now where there's no reason to be this.
Speaker 3: It's just what makes sense. Yeah, you know, in my opinion.
Speaker 5: And then also, we're not talking about me girl from
Speaker 5: making Georgia, you sure, yeah, because you see how she personalized.
Speaker 5: She was like, just so tell your friend that you
Speaker 5: and your baby father, like y'all.
Speaker 6: Do sound personal And when you were describing it, you
Speaker 6: were saying.
Speaker 4: My mask, I told you people write me all the time.
Speaker 6: Slipping up said, I wrote myself, and I told myself.
Speaker 5: And slipping up first, I didn't know you stepped out.
Speaker 5: What's what happened with you in the marriage? Okay, thank you,
Speaker 5: I'm moving on this. Yeah, yeah, we know about one personalitation?
Speaker 3: What about yours? Did you write that in the little book?
Speaker 3: I did? Shook it th one? What's the marl of
Speaker 3: the story?
Speaker 6: The moral of the story.
Speaker 5: Don't don't use no damn leverage. The moral of the
Speaker 5: story is, look everything you do not bring. And then
Speaker 5: it's kind of hard to say, don't bring baggage from
Speaker 5: other relationships, because I'm not trying to say anyone's child
Speaker 5: is baggage.
Speaker 4: My thing is, I would never say that. The thing
Speaker 4: is you have to. It's so. It's because I'm so
Speaker 4: conflicted on it.
Speaker 5: It's like you have to be open enough to bring
Speaker 5: all the facts before you get into enough relationship.
Speaker 4: This is what I had going on here.
Speaker 5: It's gonna be hard breaking his bumb with this little girl,
Speaker 5: but you gotta be willing to try to do that,
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Let's say that the situation was with you, right, and
Speaker 2: you met a new man you loved, but he just
Speaker 2: he felt uncomfortable. He felt that you and Rome were
Speaker 2: too close with each other. Y'all spoke too much because
Speaker 2: you were in a relationship.
Speaker 3: Y'all didn't.
Speaker 4: No, I'm never gonna cut Rome.
Speaker 2: But let's say you wanted to set boundaries to make
Speaker 2: sure he was comfortable.
Speaker 4: I do get that. Look it happened. It happened before.
Speaker 5: Rome used to call me anytime of the night, and
Speaker 5: I used to answer any time of the night.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
Speaker 5: You used to have a real bad drinking problem, fall
Speaker 5: asleep behind the wheel. This ain't nothing to everybody, don't know,
Speaker 5: but like, you know what I mean. So I would
Speaker 5: go get him. I would since somebody get any thing.
Speaker 5: But I was also enabling him a lot and then
Speaker 5: just too accessible for him, which also like spoiled them
Speaker 5: a lot. So I did set boundaries myself. And even
Speaker 5: it was a guy that was like, yo, this calling
Speaker 5: he was one o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 3: I mean me and you in bed at one o'clock
Speaker 3: in the morning and you pick him up. I'm a
Speaker 3: feeling the way.
Speaker 5: No, I never did that, but that's when I did
Speaker 5: set the boundaries. When this guy did say, yo, this,
Speaker 5: this is a lot, and I'm like, all right, you're right.
Speaker 4: So no, Rome, don't.
Speaker 5: Call me at de nine, don't call me after that.
Speaker 5: Even when you call me about advice, I would say,
Speaker 5: just kind of lay off. I'm talking to this guy
Speaker 5: and like it's like this, we you do cross boundaries
Speaker 5: and I'll let you allow you so it's not all
Speaker 5: your fault.
Speaker 4: But we got we gotta chill.
Speaker 6: I understand what the thing. But if Room need help,
Speaker 6: like you know, he don't want to.
Speaker 4: I have to, like you come with me if you want.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 5: But like that's my friend, that's my family, just like
Speaker 5: it's different.
Speaker 3: The new Man.
Speaker 6: Don't understand that.
Speaker 3: You got to build a wall.
Speaker 6: Build a wall between the new Man and the baby Daddy.
Speaker 3: Don't don't do it. Justice, let me just let it go.
Speaker 3: Sad bound Bi, what are you just taking about?
Speaker 6: Jess got you all?
Speaker 3: Just let it go.
Speaker 2: Justice, look at what Jess with the mess is up next?
Speaker 2: We got some room, miss, Yeah, we got some rooms.
Speaker 3: We'll get to it. Nexus. Just justice, don't even just
Speaker 3: liter me. Yeah, we'll be back at the breakfast club.
Speaker 3: Good morning,