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Speaker 1: It's topic times called eight hundred and five five five

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Speaker 1: one to join into the discussion with the Breakfast.

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Speaker 2: Club morning everybody you see j n V. Charlamagne the God.

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Speaker 2: We are the Breakfast Club because Jess Hilarious is here. Now,

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Speaker 2: somebody emailed Jess and wanted them to fix their mess. Now, Jess,

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Speaker 2: what was the email?

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Speaker 3: What was the question?

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Speaker 4: So it was it was very broad.

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Speaker 5: But basically, this girl has a boyfriend who uh uh,

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Speaker 5: she does well. She has a baby father, and they

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Speaker 5: are somewhat similar to me and Rome situation. They're very

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Speaker 5: very cool clothes, they do business together, and her boyfriend

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Speaker 5: has a child that he is attached to from a

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Speaker 5: previous relationship that's not his biological daughter, but he still

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Speaker 5: is very attached to where they were only in a

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Speaker 5: relationship for a year and he grew attached to this

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Speaker 5: little girl and he kind of uses that as leverage

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Speaker 5: for the girlfriend being cool with her baby daddy.

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Speaker 6: And for people who just might be lose live to

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Speaker 6: the breast Club.

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Speaker 1: Roome is just his baby's father, yes, with their like

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Speaker 1: brother and sisters.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it is her baby daddy.

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Speaker 2: Brother right, Yes, So I mean I really would say,

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Speaker 2: once you break up with the mom, especially, that's not

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Speaker 2: your child. You break up with that baby too. They

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Speaker 2: only been together one year, Yeah, that's I feel. And

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Speaker 2: the baby got a father, Yeah, baby has a father.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure the woman is dating somebody else.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So not all three of us gonna be at

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Speaker 2: the all three of us in the mom gonna be

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Speaker 2: at the graduation. So no, once you break up with

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Speaker 2: that mom, you break up with the baby, especially if

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Speaker 2: it's only been a year, Like, you gotta let that

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Speaker 2: baby go, that's not your child. But also in a

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Speaker 2: new situation, I would look at that different. You gotta

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Speaker 2: set boundaries. You just can't.

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Speaker 3: You can't.

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Speaker 2: You and your baby father can't be all cool and

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Speaker 2: together and shop. Nah, like this is a new relationship.

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Speaker 2: I respect what you have together, but this ain't this

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Speaker 2: one big family.

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Speaker 1: And it ain't even no time a year a year

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Speaker 1: like firt of all, he shouldn't even be meeting your

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Speaker 1: child after the year, and how you grow a bond

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Speaker 1: with a whole child and a year?

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Speaker 5: First of all, I can't hide no nigga from my

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Speaker 5: child for a year grown, so you know. Yeah, But

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Speaker 5: and then the little girl was like nine ten, you know,

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Speaker 5: she's older so it's like, yo, all right, like she

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Speaker 5: already knows her father. She spent the last year with

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Speaker 5: one year with you, and yeah, you kids are very impressionable.

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Speaker 4: You're a good guy. He's good with kids and stuff,

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Speaker 4: and that's cool.

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Speaker 6: But do you really know a person after the year

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Speaker 6: have them aun?

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Speaker 4: And then why is your mom trying to be the

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Speaker 4: dad collector? This is not what.

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Speaker 3: I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: We're not gonna do that, you know.

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Speaker 3: Let's go to the full life. Hello, who's this.

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Speaker 7: Georgia?

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Speaker 3: What's up? What's your thoughts?

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Speaker 5: Man?

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Speaker 7: I'll say, man, I don't feel like that's right, because.

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Speaker 3: When when you're in a relationship and you start something new,

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Speaker 3: you don't want to bring on leugage from the path

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Speaker 3: back and tend to kindle something.

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Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, So leave that baggage. And

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Speaker 6: I appreciate that y'all be breaking up with kids. Boy,

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Speaker 6: y'all cold.

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Speaker 2: But she got a dad and now she got because

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Speaker 2: the mom is dating someone else.

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Speaker 3: I think justice right? Three dads said dad r. Let's

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Speaker 3: just say that collecting like that, like, Hello, Georgia, mama,

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Speaker 3: what's your thoughts?

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Speaker 7: My thoughts are if she's entering a relationships. She does

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Speaker 7: need to spend some boundaries with her baby father, but

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Speaker 7: it also sounds like he's just being petty.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, and the only reason he only wants to be

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Speaker 8: around the little girl is because she's around her baby father.

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Speaker 4: That's what it sounds like. Down a baby.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, don't you sound like you care about the little girl.

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Speaker 7: He just wanted to kiss off his girl for yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like that because she said he

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Speaker 5: uses it as leverage.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Because you love somebody, you accept everything that comes with him, right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like if you if somebody loves Jess, you gotta accept

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Speaker 1: the child. They gotta accept Roome, They gotta accept everybody.

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Speaker 4: Except room, yo, because you always make things, you gotta

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Speaker 4: do it.

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Speaker 3: You gotta accept Room.

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Speaker 2: But also people gotta understand if somebody is dating somebody

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Speaker 2: with a baby daddy and the baby daddy's cool. A

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Speaker 2: lot of times, the baby daddy's cool because you want

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Speaker 2: as close as normal the child.

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Speaker 6: My child is still under age.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be here, bro, that's right because you want

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Speaker 2: the child to feel comfortable. And like, no, I can

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Speaker 2: call my mom, I can call my dad. My mom

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Speaker 2: and dad are cool. I should come to them. Now,

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Speaker 2: this new gentleman is here. I got it that he's

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Speaker 2: dated my mom and I respect him. But you still want,

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Speaker 2: you know, to feel as normal as possible.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and telling you my my son loves me and

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Speaker 5: his dad's relationship and he loves that.

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Speaker 6: How do you feel when other guy's come around?

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Speaker 4: I mean, I don't introduce him to everybody.

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Speaker 3: Make you seem like guy's coming around all the time.

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Speaker 4: I collect don't listen to shut up?

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Speaker 3: Hello this m what's your thoughts?

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Speaker 7: I'm sorry I couldn't hear you.

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Speaker 3: I said, what's your thoughts?

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Speaker 5: Mom?

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Speaker 3: Your dad? Collector?

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Speaker 8: Okay, so my thoughts are uh. I definitely think that

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Speaker 8: after only a year and a half of stating someone

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Speaker 8: that you shouldn't even have a bond with the child.

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Speaker 3: I agree.

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Speaker 8: I think a lot of problems with people that are

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Speaker 8: dating that you know have children. They just introduce their

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Speaker 8: kids to people too. I mean, maybe like a high

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Speaker 8: in vibe maybe passed by, but an eight year old

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Speaker 8: and a man like absolutely not. So he needs to

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Speaker 8: win hisself off and the mom released a thing better

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Speaker 8: next time, Like you wouldn't have this problem if you want.

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Speaker 7: To introduce your child before you really even knew the person.

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Speaker 2: But I kind of disagree though, Like if if a

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Speaker 2: woman is dating a man, and the woman has sole

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Speaker 2: custody of that child, right, So that means if a

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Speaker 2: woman is dating, you know, at first to get serious,

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Speaker 2: and then they start going out a lot. So when

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Speaker 2: I go out a lot, what am I gonna leave

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Speaker 2: my son at home?

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Speaker 3: My son?

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Speaker 2: Know, after after a while, six seven, eight months, you

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Speaker 2: start taking your child with you because you want to

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Speaker 2: see how that man is with your child.

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Speaker 6: So that's so.

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Speaker 3: Now I disagree with you.

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Speaker 4: I don't think that's so.

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Speaker 2: Now you go out a lot, and if that person,

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Speaker 2: if you really into that person, just think about when

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Speaker 2: you started dating your wife. I started dating my wife.

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Speaker 2: We were around each other a lot. And if you

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Speaker 2: have a child, a young child at the time that's

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Speaker 2: eight nine, you're gonna be taking that child to plays

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Speaker 2: and games and this and that.

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Speaker 5: Because this is not just somebody that you just hitting

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Speaker 5: and missing, you know what I'm saying. This is somebody

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Speaker 5: that you may not see yourself with them for the

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Speaker 5: rest of your life. But it's like, all right, I

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Speaker 5: mean I'm feeling you see.

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Speaker 1: What you need to. You don't feel like you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be with the present for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get this man from time.

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Speaker 5: So why I said, I don't introduce everybody to ash,

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Speaker 5: But when I feel like there's like, okay, this, this

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Speaker 5: is like something and you're giving me butterflies and I'm

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Speaker 5: actually talking to people about you, I do feel like

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Speaker 5: there is something, you know. So when a girl gets

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Speaker 5: that feeling would a long time.

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Speaker 4: So she feels like that right.

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Speaker 5: And she's she's gonna bring that. I don't think it's

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Speaker 5: wrong with her introducing.

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Speaker 3: The depending on how tight that relationship.

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Speaker 5: But it's up to the guy. Yo, if it's done,

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Speaker 5: it's done. After a year or a year.

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Speaker 4: And a half. Wean yourself off the baby.

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Speaker 5: I'm not saying just completely cut yourself out, but wean

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Speaker 5: yourself off. It didn't even explain. So if she you

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Speaker 5: that close with a look, your mom collected me. So

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Speaker 5: we're done.

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Speaker 3: Question is what's the question? Breaking down again? It's a

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Speaker 3: lot going on. Oh my god, should you.

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Speaker 1: Stop being cool with your and your exes family for

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Speaker 1: your new man, den Bar, it's just ever gonna be

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Speaker 1: able to find you happiness because room's in your life.

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Speaker 2: Shut up, man, we'll take your calls when we come

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Speaker 2: back about me. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, more

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Speaker 2: thing everybody. It's dj n V Charlamage the God we

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Speaker 2: are the Breakfast Club. Jess Hilarious is here now if

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Speaker 2: you just join us. We're asking eight hundred and five

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Speaker 2: eight five one on five one.

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Speaker 3: What's the question? Okay, there's a lot of moving parts, so.

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Speaker 4: All right, Charlamagne, what is the question? What would you say?

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Speaker 1: I thought it was, you know, basically, should you stop

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Speaker 1: being cool with your ex and you know your ex's

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Speaker 1: family for your new man?

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Speaker 5: Do you cut off a child from a previous relationship

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Speaker 5: going into a new relationship if it's not biologically yours?

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Speaker 3: There you go boom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you do, depending on how close you

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Speaker 2: and the child does so, if you raise that child,

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Speaker 2: let's say you've been with that person for eight to

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Speaker 2: ten years, different saying because we're just a question, but

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Speaker 2: if you ask a question, you gotta have boundaries.

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Speaker 3: You gotta explain. If it's long time and.

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Speaker 2: You raised the child, yes, I think you should still

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Speaker 2: be in that child's life, but it was only a

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Speaker 2: year like this situation, Yeah, I just say that'll disagreed.

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Speaker 4: I didn't disagree and be dead.

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Speaker 3: But I didn't disagree. Yes you did, I didn't. You

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Speaker 3: actually did. No.

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Speaker 2: You said a year was too soon to introduce to

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Speaker 2: the child. I'm like, yeah, it might not be too send.

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Speaker 3: You disagree with a car show, throw my own car show?

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Speaker 3: Is that what you're gonna do?

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Speaker 8: Better?

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Speaker 4: Start with that?

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Speaker 3: Is that what you're gonna do? Well?

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Speaker 2: My call shows this Sunday, By the way, Memphis made

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Speaker 2: five and under a free there's gonna be calls from

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Speaker 2: young Dolph, Key Glock, fifty cent Bunpy, and myself.

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Speaker 3: If you haven't got your tickets, to get your tickets now.

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you in Memphis. All right, Now,

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Speaker 3: let's get to the fore.

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Speaker 1: Hoo Hans, Hello, who's this for making?

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Speaker 8: Hey?

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Speaker 3: Jay, talk to us. What's your thoughts?

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Speaker 7: Okay, So I got two things. First thing is, Jessica,

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Speaker 7: I'm so glad you're on there this morning because you

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Speaker 7: always give good insight.

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Speaker 3: Never one.

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Speaker 7: But just tell your friends that he is a placeholder

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Speaker 7: for him, that dude is still trying to show up

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Speaker 7: for the head and hope that she'll see oh he did.

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Speaker 7: He's that type of father to somebody that's not even

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Speaker 7: his that's not even his real child, and I can

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Speaker 7: take him back. He's going number two and he I

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Speaker 7: know you were the one to answer the pull. The

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Speaker 7: fact that you talked out and said the extremes are

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Speaker 7: either they got to be beefing like Christ and blood

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Speaker 7: as baby mama baby daddy, or the opposite of that

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Speaker 7: is big, happy family and everybody living in the same house.

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Speaker 7: There are so many levels between that when it comes

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Speaker 7: to relationships between parents, and just told you that they

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Speaker 7: have businesses together and things like that, so they can't

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Speaker 7: communicate and have a healthy relationship. One of the biggest

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Speaker 7: things about both character is respect, respect of the other,

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Speaker 7: charent respect of their.

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Speaker 8: Relationships and all of that.

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Speaker 7: There's levels to it. It does not mean that they

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Speaker 7: are infinitely involved and there's anything going on under the table.

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Speaker 7: There are levels to it. And speaking for the faith

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Speaker 7: that you can't pop from because all your kids are with.

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Speaker 2: Here, correct, I can't.

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Speaker 3: I can't relate, Frank, but either.

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Speaker 7: Of y'all can't relate. But y'all also have both stepped

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Speaker 7: out on your wife.

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Speaker 3: Whoa whoa, whoa whoa?

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Speaker 6: What you bringing up old stuff? Both stuff?

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Speaker 3: Man? Okay, continue, I'm just saying.

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Speaker 7: I'm going to be seventeen this year. He and her

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Speaker 7: dad do business together. We have not had any dealings

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Speaker 7: since I was pregnant with her. It's just right this year.

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Speaker 4: That's right.

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Speaker 7: There's a mutual respect and understanding that I have for

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Speaker 7: his relationships and situations and that he has for mine

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Speaker 7: as well. But we we do not our, We don't fight,

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Speaker 7: We don't do any of that.

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Speaker 3: What does your new man think about it?

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Speaker 7: He don't have a problem with it because they've been introduced.

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Speaker 7: They we spend time together on holidays, all day. It's

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Speaker 7: no problem. If you create any man that is creating

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Speaker 7: drama and bringing that into my face, my energy, my family,

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Speaker 7: she wouldn't be there anyway.

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Speaker 4: That's right, that's right now. I agree with everything she said.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna tell you something that's interesting.

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Speaker 1: There's been such a negative narrative around baby Mama's and

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Speaker 1: baby daddy that we always expect it to be drama.

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Speaker 6: So when I see situations like justin Rome and how.

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Speaker 1: They co parents as well, I didn't know it was

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Speaker 1: so many people out here cole parenting so well.

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Speaker 2: But co parenting is not the problem. I don't anybody

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Speaker 2: you have to co parent. That's not the problem. The

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Speaker 2: problem is when cordial cold parents, like actually being friends.

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Speaker 3: That's that's not the problem.

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Speaker 2: The problem is when I feel like they cross the lines, right,

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Speaker 2: And sometimes I feel like people cross the lines in

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Speaker 2: that situation, Like with the individual that you said, I

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Speaker 2: feel like he's crossing the lines, meaning they've only been

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Speaker 2: together a short period of time.

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Speaker 3: There's no reason to still be in that child's life

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Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 2: That child has a father, that child has a new

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Speaker 2: boyfriend that the mom has, So it's to the point

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Speaker 2: now where there's no reason to be this.

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Speaker 3: It's just what makes sense. Yeah, you know, in my opinion.

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Speaker 5: And then also, we're not talking about me girl from

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Speaker 5: making Georgia, you sure, yeah, because you see how she personalized.

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Speaker 5: She was like, just so tell your friend that you

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Speaker 5: and your baby father, like y'all.

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Speaker 6: Do sound personal And when you were describing it, you

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Speaker 6: were saying.

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Speaker 4: My mask, I told you people write me all the time.

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Speaker 6: Slipping up said, I wrote myself, and I told myself.

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Speaker 5: And slipping up first, I didn't know you stepped out.

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Speaker 5: What's what happened with you in the marriage? Okay, thank you,

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Speaker 5: I'm moving on this. Yeah, yeah, we know about one personalitation?

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Speaker 3: What about yours? Did you write that in the little book?

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Speaker 3: I did? Shook it th one? What's the marl of

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Speaker 3: the story?

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Speaker 6: The moral of the story.

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Speaker 5: Don't don't use no damn leverage. The moral of the

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Speaker 5: story is, look everything you do not bring. And then

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Speaker 5: it's kind of hard to say, don't bring baggage from

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Speaker 5: other relationships, because I'm not trying to say anyone's child

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Speaker 5: is baggage.

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Speaker 4: My thing is, I would never say that. The thing

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Speaker 4: is you have to. It's so. It's because I'm so

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Speaker 4: conflicted on it.

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Speaker 5: It's like you have to be open enough to bring

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Speaker 5: all the facts before you get into enough relationship.

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Speaker 4: This is what I had going on here.

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Speaker 5: It's gonna be hard breaking his bumb with this little girl,

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Speaker 5: but you gotta be willing to try to do that,

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Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Let's say that the situation was with you, right, and

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Speaker 2: you met a new man you loved, but he just

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Speaker 2: he felt uncomfortable. He felt that you and Rome were

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Speaker 2: too close with each other. Y'all spoke too much because

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Speaker 2: you were in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Y'all didn't.

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Speaker 4: No, I'm never gonna cut Rome.

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Speaker 2: But let's say you wanted to set boundaries to make

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Speaker 2: sure he was comfortable.

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Speaker 4: I do get that. Look it happened. It happened before.

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Speaker 5: Rome used to call me anytime of the night, and

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Speaker 5: I used to answer any time of the night.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: You used to have a real bad drinking problem, fall

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Speaker 5: asleep behind the wheel. This ain't nothing to everybody, don't know,

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Speaker 5: but like, you know what I mean. So I would

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Speaker 5: go get him. I would since somebody get any thing.

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Speaker 5: But I was also enabling him a lot and then

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Speaker 5: just too accessible for him, which also like spoiled them

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Speaker 5: a lot. So I did set boundaries myself. And even

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Speaker 5: it was a guy that was like, yo, this calling

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Speaker 5: he was one o'clock in the morning.

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Speaker 3: I mean me and you in bed at one o'clock

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Speaker 3: in the morning and you pick him up. I'm a

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Speaker 3: feeling the way.

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Speaker 5: No, I never did that, but that's when I did

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Speaker 5: set the boundaries. When this guy did say, yo, this,

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Speaker 5: this is a lot, and I'm like, all right, you're right.

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Speaker 4: So no, Rome, don't.

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Speaker 5: Call me at de nine, don't call me after that.

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Speaker 5: Even when you call me about advice, I would say,

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Speaker 5: just kind of lay off. I'm talking to this guy

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Speaker 5: and like it's like this, we you do cross boundaries

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Speaker 5: and I'll let you allow you so it's not all

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Speaker 5: your fault.

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Speaker 4: But we got we gotta chill.

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Speaker 6: I understand what the thing. But if Room need help,

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Speaker 6: like you know, he don't want to.

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Speaker 4: I have to, like you come with me if you want.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: But like that's my friend, that's my family, just like

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Speaker 5: it's different.

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Speaker 3: The new Man.

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Speaker 6: Don't understand that.

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Speaker 3: You got to build a wall.

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Speaker 6: Build a wall between the new Man and the baby Daddy.

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Speaker 3: Don't don't do it. Justice, let me just let it go.

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Speaker 3: Sad bound Bi, what are you just taking about?

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Speaker 6: Jess got you all?

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Speaker 3: Just let it go.

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Speaker 2: Justice, look at what Jess with the mess is up next?

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Speaker 2: We got some room, miss, Yeah, we got some rooms.

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Speaker 3: We'll get to it. Nexus. Just justice, don't even just

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Speaker 3: liter me. Yeah, we'll be back at the breakfast club.

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Speaker 3: Good morning,