WEBVTT - Capítulo 219: Advice To Our Younger Selves

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<v Speaker 1>Look at Our Radio is a radiophonic novela, which.

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<v Speaker 2>Is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Fosa Fem.

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<v Speaker 2>And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another

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<v Speaker 2>Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a

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<v Speaker 2>global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,

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<v Speaker 2>the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're

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<v Speaker 2>not done telling stories.

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<v Speaker 1>We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even

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<v Speaker 1>podcasting through a new decade of our lives.

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<v Speaker 2>Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca thro Our Radio

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<v Speaker 2>independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Gura Network in twenty

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<v Speaker 2>twenty two.

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<v Speaker 1>From Our Lips to your Ears, Fall in Love with

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<v Speaker 1>Loka to a Radio like you never have before.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome to Season nine. Love that first.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen Olao La Loka mod is. Welcome to season of

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<v Speaker 1>Lok a Dora Radio. I'm the Osa and I'm Mala

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<v Speaker 1>Loka Dora Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our

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<v Speaker 1>present and shifting the culture forward. You're tuning into Capitolo

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<v Speaker 1>Doo two nineteen.

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<v Speaker 2>Last time on Loca to Our Radio. We interviewed Aiden Castellanos,

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<v Speaker 2>the host of Susto, a podcast of uki spooky scary stories.

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<v Speaker 2>For sure.

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<v Speaker 3>So one of the earlier ones that I remember that

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<v Speaker 3>isn't Lao Na, because I feel like that is the

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<v Speaker 3>like the go to right away for everyone. I tell people,

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<v Speaker 3>she's like the Beyonce of spirits, right, like everybody knows

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<v Speaker 3>who she is, everybody knows her story. But another one

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<v Speaker 3>that was really popular in my upbringing was the story

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<v Speaker 3>of the Girl who Downs at the Devil, and I think.

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<v Speaker 2>That was centered around the folklore of LATINX and Hispanic cultures.

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<v Speaker 2>Tune into that episode. It's a good one. We learned

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<v Speaker 2>about a bunch of brand new horror stories that we

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<v Speaker 2>had never heard of before. We learn about why Aiden

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<v Speaker 2>calls himself a folklorist and more amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>One of my favorites ever, I say that each of

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<v Speaker 1>a but it's true. One of my favorites.

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<v Speaker 2>Aiden is very knowledgeable, very storage.

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<v Speaker 1>I love when I love meeting someone that is like

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<v Speaker 1>an expert in something that you're like kind of know

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<v Speaker 1>about and they're like they know a lot about it.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just always so fun. It's like you are so

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<v Speaker 1>well researched and well read, and you like love your

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<v Speaker 1>craft so much that you're just going to keep on

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<v Speaker 1>learning and super niche.

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<v Speaker 2>I love how In that episode, Aiden talks about the

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<v Speaker 2>legacy of ghost stories in the Rio Grande Valley specifically,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's sort of where he's drawing his inspiration from

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<v Speaker 2>to pursue this type of research.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, it's very much folklore, scary horror at the intersection

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<v Speaker 1>of like she gotta studies, very fascina, which is probably

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<v Speaker 1>why we love it so much.

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<v Speaker 2>There you go, Okay, you got us weer nerds.

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<v Speaker 1>Tune in, tune in today. We're just we're answering some

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<v Speaker 1>oh you look ask questions. But before that we kind

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<v Speaker 1>of just want to check in, catch up. We haven't

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<v Speaker 1>really had a chance to talk to our look amis

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<v Speaker 1>in a while, so let's just get started.

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<v Speaker 2>Mala, what have you been up to the assie. You've

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<v Speaker 2>been busy as always.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been a very busy couple of weeks. It's been

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<v Speaker 1>a busy year. It's been a busy couple of weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>It was just my birthday. That's a big one. I

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<v Speaker 1>turned thirty one, which is wild. Not that I feel

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<v Speaker 1>old or anything. I just was talking about this with

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<v Speaker 1>my mom. And you know, when you're a kid or

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<v Speaker 1>you hear stories right about like young girls that are

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<v Speaker 1>like when I'm twenty something, I'm going to be married

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<v Speaker 1>with babies and this and that, And I just never

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<v Speaker 1>saw my I never had that image of myself as

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<v Speaker 1>like an adult. And I don't know why. Maybe something

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<v Speaker 1>I need to talk about in therapy, who knows. But

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<v Speaker 1>and now it's like I'm fully in now officially in

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<v Speaker 1>my thirties. I've been thinking about it, like wow, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm in my thirties, I feel more self actualized.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel more confident in who I am, and feel

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<v Speaker 1>a lot more confident also in setting boundaries and like

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<v Speaker 1>letting go of that people please your identity. And I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know, so I'm thinking that thirties are great so far.

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<v Speaker 1>They're very challenging. I think you're thirty tried to take

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<v Speaker 1>me out. I went through like so many life transitions

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<v Speaker 1>and changes and loss, a lot of loss. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just welcoming thirty one and hoping that the universe is like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna like chill on this one for a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, just let it breathe.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I can't take any more.

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<v Speaker 2>Please, I didn't flow.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like enough character development, because your girl can only

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<v Speaker 1>take so much.

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<v Speaker 2>The character is developed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, please please give me a break. I need an intermission.

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<v Speaker 2>You're exiting your Saturn return basically at this stage.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, yes, my Saturn return has been complete for

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<v Speaker 1>about a year, I think so. Yes, please let it

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<v Speaker 1>all be done for a while.

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<v Speaker 2>I think the hard part's over.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope, so, girl. From what do they say, from

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<v Speaker 1>your lips to God's ears?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, from your lips to God's ears to God's hearing. Aid,

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<v Speaker 2>there we go, turn it up God later, crank of

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<v Speaker 2>the volume.

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<v Speaker 1>And to celebrate my birthday, I went to Vaya the

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<v Speaker 1>Wada Lupe in Baha with a couple of friends and

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<v Speaker 1>that was really fun. It was definitely a different type

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<v Speaker 1>of birthday in the sense that I like was a

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<v Speaker 1>mature adult that didn't get too drunk.

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<v Speaker 2>Amazing, I know. I mean last year we were hiking

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<v Speaker 2>to Machipia.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that might have said it. Yeah, like that

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<v Speaker 1>set everything in motion.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it's like a pivot on the way the birthday

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<v Speaker 2>is celebrated.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I have spent many a birthday not remembering, Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>and I loved that from my twenties. But as I

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<v Speaker 1>was sharing with you and a couple of our friends,

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<v Speaker 1>there was one birthday where I like didn't make it,

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<v Speaker 1>like I like had to go sleep on the couch.

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<v Speaker 1>Nine yeah, And I remember the next day like all

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<v Speaker 1>like I don't want to spend my birthday not remembering

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to spend my birthday asleep when

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<v Speaker 1>my friends are outside with each other. And so for me,

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<v Speaker 1>that was that moment where I was like, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 1>did that and I loved it. It's been fun, but

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm ready for something else totally. And so I

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<v Speaker 1>think I definitely took that energy into the birthday trip

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<v Speaker 1>where it's like I don't want to be passing out.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be sick, Like I want to

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<v Speaker 1>have some wine, have some snacks, be with my friends,

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<v Speaker 1>and like take some nice photos, enjoy the ambiance.

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<v Speaker 2>It's wine tasting, but not wine drunk, right, We're not slashed,

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<v Speaker 2>We're just we're sipping.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes. And it's funny because you know, when I went

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<v Speaker 1>to UC Santa Barbara, and that is depending on your age,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, if you're still an undergrad there is wine,

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<v Speaker 1>there are wineries, and you do wine tasting, but because

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<v Speaker 1>you're so young, you go to get drunk and it's

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<v Speaker 1>like cheap. It's like, oh, I can get like really

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<v Speaker 1>drunk on these wine tastings and it's like twenty dollars.

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<v Speaker 1>But if I do enough of them, I'm good. Yea right,

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<v Speaker 1>And so yeah, you know, we were like twenty and

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<v Speaker 1>like you don't know what you're doing, and so yes,

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<v Speaker 1>you're wine tasting to like actually taste the wine.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's so mature, it's so elevated.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I know. I was proud of everyone. Nobody

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<v Speaker 1>like the gopas you know. It was definitely like a

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<v Speaker 1>trip where everyone was on the same page.

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<v Speaker 2>That sounds lovely. Yeah, it was lovely and I couldn't

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<v Speaker 2>make it. But we've been talking about a trip to

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<v Speaker 2>Vaya for years and now, and then I couldn't go,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, so I was sad. I have grown accustomed

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<v Speaker 2>to celebrating your birthday with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh we've celebrated I think all of the birthday since

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<v Speaker 1>we've known each other together. Yeah, yeah, but you're busy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I did go to your house with my tizza.

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<v Speaker 2>It did.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a small gathering with my friends that couldn't go,

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<v Speaker 1>and that was really nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a small intimate, an intimate gathering of close friends.

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<v Speaker 1>I know. I kept telling everyone, like, this is not

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<v Speaker 1>a party, like don't dress up, don't bring anything, bring

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<v Speaker 1>yourself and like please like just hang with me. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's what we did. We had pizza, we had wine.

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<v Speaker 2>It was lovely. We haet cake.

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<v Speaker 1>It was great.

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<v Speaker 2>You got presents.

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<v Speaker 1>I got presents. What are they called the little Calico critters?

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<v Speaker 2>They're so cute. I know, you got a bedroom set.

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<v Speaker 1>I did. I got a bedroom set, to my dismay,

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<v Speaker 1>but also with gratitude.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you have to like put up on put them

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<v Speaker 2>on a shelf for something.

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<v Speaker 1>I do, yes, And I you know, my best friend

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<v Speaker 1>Jackie has been supporting my Calico critter like kind of obsession.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm very not willing to be fully obsessed or

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<v Speaker 1>commit to the obsession. And so you know, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have space. I'm also thirty one. I'm like

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<v Speaker 1>not trying to like be the girl with the little things.

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<v Speaker 1>But I love the little things, you know, I love them.

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<v Speaker 1>I love me some Hello Kitty. I think of like

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<v Speaker 1>Hello Kitty as like my Latina birthright, because like you

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<v Speaker 1>go to Mexico, go to my hand gool, there's Hello

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<v Speaker 1>Kitty everywhere were I'm like, oh, this is just I

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<v Speaker 1>was destined.

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<v Speaker 2>At the Santa Fe Spring Swapmeat, the Hello Kitty vendor. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>we bought things from her.

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<v Speaker 1>We bought thingsats exactly exactly. So anyway, so she gifted

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<v Speaker 1>me a bedroom set for my little herky twins. I

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<v Speaker 1>know it's I know, it's so cute.

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<v Speaker 2>Though, you guys should see it came with bunk beds.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really adorable and a dk I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be known as the girl with the little thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, but you know that that like Renaissance painting, the

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<v Speaker 2>girl with the pearl earring, you're the girl with the

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<v Speaker 2>little things.

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<v Speaker 1>We need to put my things in my hand, my

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<v Speaker 1>little Hello Kitty, my Calico critters.

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<v Speaker 2>You need a portrait, you know, acrylic of you need

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<v Speaker 2>a portrait. You need to sit for a portrait with

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<v Speaker 2>your things.

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<v Speaker 1>I cannot.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. I cannot.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, wow, And then finally I mean wrapping up Latino

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<v Speaker 1>Hispanic heritage man. I was asked to moderate a panel

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<v Speaker 1>by Info Blocks. They're a tech company and actually one

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<v Speaker 1>of my book club members, Kiki. She put me up

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<v Speaker 1>for this opportunity and I got to interview the fabulous

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<v Speaker 1>Willie Chavaria.

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<v Speaker 2>Amazing, amazing iconic. I'm so when you texted me that,

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<v Speaker 2>I screamed a little bit. I was like, oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>What. He's a Chicano designer from Fresno and very much

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<v Speaker 1>grew up with like farm worker family members, and his

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<v Speaker 1>designs and his personal brand paid tribute to that cultural

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<v Speaker 1>historical legacy. And so I got to talk to him

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<v Speaker 1>and he's just incredible, and so I hope we can

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<v Speaker 1>want to get him on the podcast and have him

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<v Speaker 1>talk to us as well, because it was just a

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<v Speaker 1>fabulous time.

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<v Speaker 2>He has blown up and I always come across him

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<v Speaker 2>on TikTok, Like people are always interviewing him on the

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<v Speaker 2>street asking him about his outfit. His work is on

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<v Speaker 2>all the big runways, he's in all the major magazines.

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<v Speaker 2>Like he's becoming a fashion icon in the mainstream, Like

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<v Speaker 2>he really is hot, cature, but make it Chicano, make

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<v Speaker 2>it Fresno. But I think he's been New York based, right.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, he's New York based and he's also the current

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<v Speaker 1>senior vice president of design at Calvin Klein. So he's

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<v Speaker 1>really in the fashion world, so in it. In addition

0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:26.959
<v Speaker 1>to having his own brand that's his namesake, he's also

0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:29.080
<v Speaker 1>works for Calvin Klein.

0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.640
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea he was with Calvin Klein, all American. Yes,

0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:34.120
<v Speaker 2>that's incredible.

0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I'm so honored that I was able to talk

0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.160
<v Speaker 1>to him, and hopefully we can get him on look

0:11:39.160 --> 0:11:42.760
<v Speaker 1>at Tora, Don't go Anywhere, Loka Motives. We'll be right.

0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Back and we're back with more of our episode.

0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.680
<v Speaker 1>So, Maley, you have also been quite busy.

0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.240
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm in the throes of school. I'm in my

0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:57.920
<v Speaker 2>second semester of my MFA at USC. I'm studying Film

0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:00.480
<v Speaker 2>and Television production, and so this semester, the way it

0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.800
<v Speaker 2>works in this class as they put us in trios

0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.839
<v Speaker 2>and we take turns doing different jobs and we make

0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 2>three movies in one semester. So for the first movie

0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:11.839
<v Speaker 2>of the semester, I was the cinematographer, I was the

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.880
<v Speaker 2>director of photography, and I was our production designer. That

0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:20.000
<v Speaker 2>was a super duper fun experience. I've always been a

0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:23.880
<v Speaker 2>little timid with the camera, and there's a lot of

0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:26.840
<v Speaker 2>pressure in that job to make everything look good and

0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:28.920
<v Speaker 2>make sure things are in focus and that the frame

0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:31.160
<v Speaker 2>is perfect and that the director is getting everything that

0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:35.240
<v Speaker 2>they want. There's just a lot of people buzzing around

0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:37.520
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of details with the camera settings and

0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:40.320
<v Speaker 2>the lighting and continuity and X, Y and Z. But

0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.840
<v Speaker 2>doing that and the production design just gave me, like

0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:47.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, a really beautiful opportunity to blend, Like

0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:51.480
<v Speaker 2>I love a little interior design, so to blend that

0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.760
<v Speaker 2>with the camera work was really really fun. Right now

0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 2>with the movie that we're making, I'm our producer, and

0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.760
<v Speaker 2>when you're producing a film in this class, you're also

0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:06.480
<v Speaker 2>the on set sound recordist, So I'm like handling the

0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:11.240
<v Speaker 2>mixer and I'm operating the boom, and then I also

0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:15.560
<v Speaker 2>have to edit the film. So they have us cutting

0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.280
<v Speaker 2>our dailies, which are the clips that we film over

0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:22.280
<v Speaker 2>the weekend. They have us cut our dailies and then

0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>screen them in class in between shooting weekends, and then

0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.160
<v Speaker 2>our professors give us feedback, and then we go back

0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:30.400
<v Speaker 2>a second weekend and we do any reshoots or whatever

0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.080
<v Speaker 2>needs to be shot. So it's a lot of in

0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.520
<v Speaker 2>that producing work. It's like a lot of permits and

0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:42.120
<v Speaker 2>forms and insurance and scheduling and meals and keeping track

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:45.040
<v Speaker 2>of cast and crew and everyone's allergies and who's a

0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 2>vegetarian and where's everyone parking? And do we have our

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.320
<v Speaker 2>film LA permit? And do we need a stunt coordinator?

0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 2>And is there a fog machine? And like do we

0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 2>need a production safety plan? Like it's a lot of paperwork.

0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.040
<v Speaker 2>But then I also get to turn around and edit,

0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.320
<v Speaker 2>which is also fun. And then the next film that

0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.880
<v Speaker 2>we make, I'll be writing and directing, and so stay

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 2>tuned because I have more about that one. I'm doing

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.600
<v Speaker 2>a little horror film which is going to be very

0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 2>fun and cute. So yeah, I'm just in the thick

0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:14.920
<v Speaker 2>of it. And then I have like a midterm exam

0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:19.000
<v Speaker 2>in this class called Motion Picture Script Analysis, and we

0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.280
<v Speaker 2>watch movies and then analyze them. So like I don't

0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:26.760
<v Speaker 2>carry any books in this program, like as a graduate student,

0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:29.960
<v Speaker 2>there's no books. But we are watching Finding Nemo in

0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:32.680
<v Speaker 2>class and the School of Rock and like doing an

0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:36.040
<v Speaker 2>analysis of the film as a text. So that's very

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 2>fun for me. And yeah, so that's what I've been

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:38.320
<v Speaker 2>up to.

0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:39.760
<v Speaker 1>That's really cool.

0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:40.480
<v Speaker 2>I thank you.

0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:42.920
<v Speaker 1>I love when you send me photo updates and when

0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:45.960
<v Speaker 1>you just send me general updates about what's going on

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 1>in costs and what you're working on. That's exciting.

0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 2>It is very exciting. And like again in my role

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:54.320
<v Speaker 2>as producer, like this film that I'm working on, we

0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 2>have like one character breaks the other character's neck and

0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.360
<v Speaker 2>hit somebody over the head with a bat, and we

0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 2>have like a fake bomb and a whip and blood

0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:07.680
<v Speaker 2>and rope and baseball bats. And I had to take

0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.720
<v Speaker 2>all of those prop weapons to campus to the Department

0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:13.640
<v Speaker 2>of Public Safety to get them inspected by the watch commander.

0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.320
<v Speaker 2>And then I had to take them to the physical

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:18.200
<v Speaker 2>production office and it's like a whole thing. And I

0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 2>get there and I like open up my bag and

0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.880
<v Speaker 2>the cop is like, okay, let's see these weapons. And

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.200
<v Speaker 2>it's like, you know, rope and blood and a baseball

0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:29.480
<v Speaker 2>bat and like a sticks of dynamite from Amazon. Like

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.080
<v Speaker 2>I just feel so silly, you know, like with my

0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:36.760
<v Speaker 2>Looney Tune ass bag of tricks. So, yeah, film school

0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:41.280
<v Speaker 2>is really fun and I'm very actually very excited for

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.760
<v Speaker 2>the semester to be over because she's tired. But it's okay,

0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:47.200
<v Speaker 2>that's what it's all about. That's me.

0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, grad school is hard. And your program is a

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:54.680
<v Speaker 1>lot longer than mine. So yes, blessings to.

0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 2>You, thank thank you. I will I will take the blessings.

0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Thank you and Bill, you know, obviously making the show.

0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:07.280
<v Speaker 1>And we're also hosting an event in collaboration with Sway

0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:11.800
<v Speaker 1>Studio on Thursday, October twenty fourth in la We will

0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.800
<v Speaker 1>be in conversation with Liliam Rivera. She is the author

0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 1>of Tiny Threads and we're going to be talking about

0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:24.240
<v Speaker 1>her book and all things fashion, sustainability and the fashion

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:25.200
<v Speaker 1>industry in general.

0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.440
<v Speaker 2>Love it. That's going to be really fun. Shout out

0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:32.880
<v Speaker 2>to our friend Sureley for coordinating with us to get

0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.280
<v Speaker 2>us involved with this event. We're really looking forward to it.

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm so excited to just be like out in

0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 1>the world again as podcasters, you know what I mean.

0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:46.400
<v Speaker 1>Like the studio obviously is amazing, and the podcast is amazing,

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.280
<v Speaker 1>but like doing actual events like we used to is

0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:51.640
<v Speaker 1>really fun and I missed that. So it's really fun

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:52.880
<v Speaker 1>when we get to be like out and about.

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:55.400
<v Speaker 2>And we were at USC not too long ago, yes,

0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:59.280
<v Speaker 2>moderating a conversation and that was a great time. And

0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:03.440
<v Speaker 2>it's it's just really fun doing things with students and

0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.120
<v Speaker 2>speaking on campuses. When we were doing our university circuit

0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.199
<v Speaker 2>back in the day before the pandemic, it was just

0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:14.639
<v Speaker 2>always really fun and the energy is so high, and

0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.600
<v Speaker 2>they's a buzz when there's a student run event, and

0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.440
<v Speaker 2>it's always like the Latino Center or the Association of

0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:25.639
<v Speaker 2>Latin American Students and you know, all the acronyms, and

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:28.240
<v Speaker 2>it's just fun.

0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:29.280
<v Speaker 1>It's fun.

0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they keep us young, they do. Thank god, something

0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:37.640
<v Speaker 2>something's keeping as young. It's the students, it's the youth

0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:39.920
<v Speaker 2>of tomorrow. The listeners, the listeners.

0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:45.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah. So that being said, we actually have some

0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.640
<v Speaker 1>questions that were submitted today by our listeners in our

0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 1>Locomotives channel on Instagram. So in case you missed it,

0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:57.440
<v Speaker 1>their Instagram now has this feature where you can join

0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.439
<v Speaker 1>a channel, and in order to do that, you just

0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:03.240
<v Speaker 1>go to our Instagram homepage and there's like a little

0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.879
<v Speaker 1>Locomotives Members channel that you can click and you can

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.159
<v Speaker 1>join it. And really, I just like to share a

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:13.160
<v Speaker 1>little behind the scenes photos and questions and let y'all

0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.920
<v Speaker 1>know when we're doing things. And so I posted a

0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:20.560
<v Speaker 1>question box in there and y'all submitted some very fun,

0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:24.840
<v Speaker 1>very interesting questions and so we're just gonna get started

0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:26.320
<v Speaker 1>and see how many we can get through.

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 2>You are now listening to Oh yeah, so I love

0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:36.040
<v Speaker 2>this first one. How do I stop taking everything personally?

0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 2>This one's hard?

0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 1>This it's hard.

0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:41.840
<v Speaker 2>How do I stop taking everything personally?

0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.600
<v Speaker 1>That's hard. It's hard, especially when you're sensitive like me.

0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:52.479
<v Speaker 1>But I think I sometimes I when I catch myself

0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:55.480
<v Speaker 1>doing this, I say to myself, it's actually not about you.

0:18:56.200 --> 0:19:00.440
<v Speaker 1>It's not about you, And in the kindest way to myself, say,

0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.400
<v Speaker 1>the world actually doesn't revolve around you, and how this

0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:07.000
<v Speaker 1>person is either responding to you right now, or how

0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.960
<v Speaker 1>maybe they're not prioritizing what's important to you. Whatever it

0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 1>may be, like, it actually has nothing to do with you.

0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:15.520
<v Speaker 1>It has everything to do with them, truly, and where

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.240
<v Speaker 1>they're at in their headspace. That doesn't mean like they

0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.320
<v Speaker 1>have the permission to be mean to you or unkind

0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:24.640
<v Speaker 1>to you, or treat you horribly or poorly. But there

0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.359
<v Speaker 1>are some things that aren't actually about you.

0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:28.560
<v Speaker 2>It's even like in the way that we say this,

0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.520
<v Speaker 2>like taking it personally, it's not that someone's even giving

0:19:32.560 --> 0:19:35.720
<v Speaker 2>it to me personally. I'm just taking it and making

0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 2>it personally.

0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's a good point.

0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:41.240
<v Speaker 2>It's in my control how I receive something and how

0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:44.119
<v Speaker 2>I bring it into my own mind unless there's like

0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:48.000
<v Speaker 2>definitive evidence and proof that oh no, they actually hate me, yeah,

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 2>or they actually have a problem with me, but that

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.760
<v Speaker 2>is that's rarely what happens.

0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:56.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I also think it's like who is the person? Yes,

0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:57.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, is it your mom? Is it someone that

0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:01.560
<v Speaker 1>loves you and cares about you? Then like it's really

0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.040
<v Speaker 1>probably more about them, And if it's someone that doesn't

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like you, then like, well you don't need to take

0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:08.000
<v Speaker 1>anything from them, actually.

0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Very much so. And like in life, people are gonna

0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.399
<v Speaker 2>not like you. Yeah, this is the other thing is

0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.919
<v Speaker 2>actually yeah, maybe they can't stand you. Yeah, but that

0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:22.640
<v Speaker 2>just comes with the territory of existing and being out

0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.720
<v Speaker 2>in the world and knowing people and meeting people. So

0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:27.840
<v Speaker 2>it's also just a hard truth we have to just

0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:32.480
<v Speaker 2>accept sometimes like I'm not for this person, and maybe

0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:36.480
<v Speaker 2>I leave them alone because I rub them the wrong way.

0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:39.720
<v Speaker 2>There's something about me that just doesn't mesh with them

0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.040
<v Speaker 2>and their vibe. And that's all right. I don't have

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to dwell on it. It doesn't have to keep me

0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:45.439
<v Speaker 2>up at night. I mean, I'm gonna dwell and it

0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:48.000
<v Speaker 2>will keep me up at night, but I don't have to.

0:20:50.040 --> 0:20:53.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that's part of like letting go. Depending

0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:55.960
<v Speaker 1>if you're you have those people pleasing tendencies like a

0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.359
<v Speaker 1>lot of us do, right, especially me, It's like, Okay,

0:20:59.480 --> 0:21:02.119
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to let this actually determine how I

0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:05.760
<v Speaker 1>view myself, as hard as it may be. And yes,

0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:08.720
<v Speaker 1>some people are not gonna like me, and that's a

0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:12.639
<v Speaker 1>hard pill to swallow sometimes, but there are lots of

0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:14.720
<v Speaker 1>people that do like you and do love you and

0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:17.240
<v Speaker 1>want to be around you. So be with those people.

0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And if they don't like you, it's probably because

0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:22.400
<v Speaker 2>they're jealous, such.

0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:26.959
<v Speaker 1>A like default Senora thing to say, Selos, they're jealous

0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:29.600
<v Speaker 1>of you because you're so beautiful and talented and smart

0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:32.119
<v Speaker 1>and they could never and that's why they don't like you.

0:21:32.400 --> 0:21:32.840
<v Speaker 1>There we go.

0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 2>They can't be in the same room with you, they

0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:38.280
<v Speaker 2>can't be next to you. They need a burlap sack

0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:42.200
<v Speaker 2>over your head because your shine is just too bright.

0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:44.320
<v Speaker 2>You should tell yourself in the mirror.

0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:47.080
<v Speaker 1>And we don't doll or shine for nobody. Don't go

0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:49.399
<v Speaker 1>anywhere lokomotives. We'll be right back.

0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:56.480
<v Speaker 2>We're back with more. We hope you didn't go anywhere

0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:57.000
<v Speaker 2>all right?

0:21:57.119 --> 0:22:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Next question, what made you finally you prioritize yourself? Was

0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:03.840
<v Speaker 1>it a breaking point with people?

0:22:04.160 --> 0:22:05.879
<v Speaker 2>Have we prioritized ourselves?

0:22:06.000 --> 0:22:07.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think we were doing better at it.

0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:09.840
<v Speaker 2>I think you're doing better at it.

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:13.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well I think you are too. I think I

0:22:13.200 --> 0:22:16.400
<v Speaker 1>think you moving was a way of you like prioritizing

0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:18.879
<v Speaker 1>yourself and like a new phase of your life, like

0:22:18.960 --> 0:22:22.879
<v Speaker 1>giving yourself that like independence to grow total. I answer

0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:23.600
<v Speaker 1>the question for you.

0:22:23.800 --> 0:22:29.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, definitely, moving, Definitely school. There's also been some personal,

0:22:30.000 --> 0:22:34.600
<v Speaker 2>very personal developments that have been going on that I

0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:35.200
<v Speaker 2>will not share it.

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:39.000
<v Speaker 1>Am I allowed to say that it's romantic? Yeah, that's it.

0:22:39.200 --> 0:22:40.080
<v Speaker 1>That's all we need to say.

0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:43.240
<v Speaker 2>Not only is it romantic, it's incredibly romantic. Yes, it's

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:44.040
<v Speaker 2>very romantic.

0:22:44.080 --> 0:22:46.360
<v Speaker 1>It's old timy, it's very old.

0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Timey, like I've always wanted.

0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 1>It has been manifesting an old timey romance and now

0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:54.880
<v Speaker 1>she has it. But that's all we're saying because we're

0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:55.520
<v Speaker 1>protecting it.

0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I will say one more thing. In the vegust of terms,

0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:01.960
<v Speaker 2>my mom was like, well, you know, this person needs

0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:04.960
<v Speaker 2>to go talk to your dad and ask for permission

0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:06.119
<v Speaker 2>to date you.

0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:09.960
<v Speaker 1>It's that old timing, that old that's true. Actually, there's

0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:10.640
<v Speaker 1>that layer.

0:23:10.720 --> 0:23:13.439
<v Speaker 2>There's that layer, and this is that case where like

0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:16.520
<v Speaker 2>a it's funny, but be this person is game and

0:23:16.600 --> 0:23:20.200
<v Speaker 2>see like it's actually appropriate, like it actually makes sense.

0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it doesn't make sense here, Like no, you go.

0:23:22.240 --> 0:23:25.040
<v Speaker 2>Tell my dad, Yeah, you go knock on the door

0:23:25.600 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 2>and any who, AnyWho. That's all I'm going to say

0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:28.920
<v Speaker 2>is so that's all I'm going to say.

0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:32.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, okay, okay. So this is how you've finally

0:23:33.080 --> 0:23:34.520
<v Speaker 1>like prioritized yourself.

0:23:35.000 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 2>By falling madly in love. Yeah, exactly, exactly how have

0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:41.880
<v Speaker 2>you prioritized yourself?

0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god? I okay. I have not shared this

0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:48.600
<v Speaker 1>story with very very many people. Mala obviously knows. But

0:23:48.960 --> 0:23:51.280
<v Speaker 1>I at the beginning of the top of the year,

0:23:51.640 --> 0:23:56.679
<v Speaker 1>I cosplayed as a single girl for a weekend. Nothing

0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:59.800
<v Speaker 1>to do with my amazing partner, but I just needed

0:23:59.840 --> 0:24:03.040
<v Speaker 1>to get away for a weekend because I was at

0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:06.840
<v Speaker 1>my breaking point and that kind of set things in

0:24:06.920 --> 0:24:10.639
<v Speaker 1>motion to change. And you know, sometimes you're around people

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:14.040
<v Speaker 1>that are not willing to change for themselves, and so

0:24:14.480 --> 0:24:16.879
<v Speaker 1>and you begin to recognize, Okay, these people are not

0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:19.760
<v Speaker 1>going to change, so I have to change, and I

0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:23.159
<v Speaker 1>change my environment, I change myself. I changed my relationship

0:24:23.160 --> 0:24:25.879
<v Speaker 1>with these people, whatever that may look like. And so

0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:31.080
<v Speaker 1>that was my breaking point. My little single girl weekend ended,

0:24:31.119 --> 0:24:33.440
<v Speaker 1>and it wasn't really a single girl weekend, but I

0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 1>like stayed alone for the weekend in another place, and

0:24:37.400 --> 0:24:40.639
<v Speaker 1>for me, that was me costplaying as a single girl.

0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:45.119
<v Speaker 1>And when I came back from that little getaway, you know,

0:24:45.200 --> 0:24:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I had a very difficult conversation with my family and

0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:54.000
<v Speaker 1>basically said, like, I'm whatever's going on here, I no

0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:55.919
<v Speaker 1>longer want to be a part of it, and so

0:24:56.000 --> 0:24:59.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm removing myself and by default, my partner is also

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:03.920
<v Speaker 1>moving himself. And so take what you will with that information.

0:25:04.720 --> 0:25:09.520
<v Speaker 1>And things changed after that, and so I think that was, like, ugh,

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:14.760
<v Speaker 1>big sigh, Like that was the biggest step that I

0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:18.400
<v Speaker 1>ever took to finally prioritize myself. But it was years

0:25:18.480 --> 0:25:21.399
<v Speaker 1>in the making. It was years of therapy, It was

0:25:21.560 --> 0:25:25.240
<v Speaker 1>all my twenties, all my life practically of like getting

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:27.560
<v Speaker 1>to this point, and so it took a very long time,

0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:30.080
<v Speaker 1>but it was a process. It was a journey, and

0:25:30.440 --> 0:25:32.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, it was part of what made I think

0:25:33.200 --> 0:25:36.280
<v Speaker 1>this year, however you want to look at it, you're thirty,

0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:40.400
<v Speaker 1>my year, thirty twenty twenty four, like, we're really challenging,

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:42.760
<v Speaker 1>but I think I'm on the other side of it.

0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 1>There's still some challenges, but it was it definitely took

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:48.800
<v Speaker 1>like getting to my breaking point to finally make some changes.

0:25:49.160 --> 0:25:54.680
<v Speaker 2>Since I've known you, this particular issue has been an issue, right,

0:25:55.040 --> 0:25:58.040
<v Speaker 2>like a big one, yeah, you know, just recurring and

0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 2>so to be at the and there had been conversations

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:04.119
<v Speaker 2>previously about how to fix this, or how it could change,

0:26:04.160 --> 0:26:07.000
<v Speaker 2>or who would need to change, and how the house

0:26:07.000 --> 0:26:10.280
<v Speaker 2>would have to look different. And so then for this

0:26:10.280 --> 0:26:13.199
<v Speaker 2>this big shift to happen like this year, it's one

0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:15.159
<v Speaker 2>of those like, oh, it's happening.

0:26:16.160 --> 0:26:17.840
<v Speaker 1>It's one of those things where you don't believe it's

0:26:17.880 --> 0:26:22.520
<v Speaker 1>happening until it's happened, and you know, the like I

0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:25.000
<v Speaker 1>hate just to speak in such vague terms. The reason

0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:26.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm not so specific it is because it's not just

0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:29.920
<v Speaker 1>involving me, right, it's not my my entirely my story

0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:32.359
<v Speaker 1>to share, which is why I haven't really talked about

0:26:32.400 --> 0:26:34.920
<v Speaker 1>it on the podcast or even on social media because

0:26:34.960 --> 0:26:37.200
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of it's private and it affects it's about

0:26:37.200 --> 0:26:40.000
<v Speaker 1>my family, and so you know, I just will say

0:26:40.000 --> 0:26:43.240
<v Speaker 1>that it was like a really tough couple of months

0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:46.199
<v Speaker 1>to get through, and then you know, I made it

0:26:46.240 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 1>through the other side, and I have no.

0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Regrets, and I do think the hardest part is over.

0:26:51.800 --> 0:26:52.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank god.

0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:55.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's got to be smooth from here on out.

0:26:56.119 --> 0:26:58.119
<v Speaker 1>Yes, please, truly.

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:02.080
<v Speaker 2>All right, next, let's see what are you reaching for

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:05.400
<v Speaker 2>and what are you letting go of? Oh my goodness,

0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:10.800
<v Speaker 2>right now, definitely just reaching for knowledge and learning and

0:27:11.080 --> 0:27:15.359
<v Speaker 2>just evolving as a creative and just really learning this

0:27:15.440 --> 0:27:19.159
<v Speaker 2>filmmaking stuff and then figuring out how to apply it

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:21.679
<v Speaker 2>back to look at what our productions and then what

0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:25.199
<v Speaker 2>we can do with it. Because we've talked about what

0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:28.240
<v Speaker 2>can be adapted, like what can be adapted for the

0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:30.959
<v Speaker 2>screen in one way or another, and how can our

0:27:31.040 --> 0:27:35.240
<v Speaker 2>story also be told on screen somehow? Because we have

0:27:36.160 --> 0:27:39.080
<v Speaker 2>now all this audio and we've talked about the show

0:27:39.119 --> 0:27:41.400
<v Speaker 2>as an audio archive that is still what it is.

0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:44.879
<v Speaker 2>So we've archived all these years and all these ideas

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:48.479
<v Speaker 2>and these thoughts and these interviews and these experiences and

0:27:48.520 --> 0:27:51.240
<v Speaker 2>I just think that the podcast itself is so ripe

0:27:51.359 --> 0:27:54.200
<v Speaker 2>for a different art form, you know, like to be

0:27:54.280 --> 0:27:59.320
<v Speaker 2>expressed in another way. So that's really kind of where

0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:02.880
<v Speaker 2>my mind is. And what am I letting go of? Man,

0:28:03.440 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying to let go of, you know. I

0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 2>think over the years, I have evolved a lot as

0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:13.560
<v Speaker 2>far as my ideas about like my ideas about even

0:28:13.600 --> 0:28:17.720
<v Speaker 2>things like femininity and feminism and like the type of

0:28:17.760 --> 0:28:19.920
<v Speaker 2>woman I am or the type of woman I want

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:22.800
<v Speaker 2>to be. And I think I'm letting go of like

0:28:23.040 --> 0:28:29.240
<v Speaker 2>maybe some more immature or like one dimensional ideas like

0:28:29.320 --> 0:28:32.520
<v Speaker 2>what like you know, I think we've talked about over

0:28:32.560 --> 0:28:34.879
<v Speaker 2>the years, how like you know, things like not wanting

0:28:34.960 --> 0:28:38.560
<v Speaker 2>kids right or waiting or doing it in your own time,

0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:41.640
<v Speaker 2>or but also we've had these conversations about like these

0:28:41.680 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 2>might seem like disconnected, like fem science, you know, and

0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:48.360
<v Speaker 2>how like the domestic space can actually be this place

0:28:48.360 --> 0:28:51.640
<v Speaker 2>of empowerment and such. And I'm just entering into this

0:28:51.760 --> 0:28:56.360
<v Speaker 2>era of like feeling my like soft girl vibes and

0:28:56.480 --> 0:29:00.880
<v Speaker 2>like finding the nurture in myself and like the lover

0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:05.280
<v Speaker 2>in myself and the caretaker in myself, which are categories

0:29:05.320 --> 0:29:09.360
<v Speaker 2>that I have sort of tiptoed around or like I

0:29:09.400 --> 0:29:13.040
<v Speaker 2>haven't touched Like I haven't always been a very like

0:29:13.200 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 2>touchy feely or emotional person, and maybe my emotions have

0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 2>been more stuck to like like passion and excitement or

0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:28.800
<v Speaker 2>joy or like thrill seeking. But uh, I have stayed

0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:32.600
<v Speaker 2>away from like vulnerability, you know, like I'm not the

0:29:32.640 --> 0:29:37.240
<v Speaker 2>most vulnerable and I'm not the most like uh open

0:29:37.520 --> 0:29:41.160
<v Speaker 2>with like sharing my feelings and such. But I am

0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:45.240
<v Speaker 2>coming into this era where I feel like like the

0:29:45.280 --> 0:29:48.040
<v Speaker 2>ice queen is melting, you know, and like the armor

0:29:48.080 --> 0:29:51.400
<v Speaker 2>is being shed, like I am laying down my sword. Wow,

0:29:51.440 --> 0:29:56.040
<v Speaker 2>which is horrible. It's a horrible feeling, right, but vulnerable, Yeah,

0:29:56.040 --> 0:29:58.600
<v Speaker 2>but it also feels so great at the same time.

0:29:59.200 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when you can be safe and you feel safe

0:30:02.600 --> 0:30:06.120
<v Speaker 1>enough to do it, like it should feel good. It

0:30:06.160 --> 0:30:08.120
<v Speaker 1>can be scary, that's always gonna be scary, but it

0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:11.720
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't feel bad if it actually could feel good.

0:30:12.080 --> 0:30:15.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like somebody at school was like, oh my god,

0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:18.720
<v Speaker 2>you're glowing, like what's going on? And I was like,

0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:22.120
<v Speaker 2>you know what, I'm in love and it's awful, Like

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:25.160
<v Speaker 2>I love it. But it's also like I feel like

0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 2>this is very much one of those moments where it's like,

0:30:28.760 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 2>am I grieving? Low key? Like this is a new chapter. Yeah,

0:30:35.040 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 2>And so I'm sort of I'm shedding, I'm kind of

0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:40.360
<v Speaker 2>grieving a little bit, but also very happily letting go

0:30:41.200 --> 0:30:44.239
<v Speaker 2>and just kind of letting it. I'm just going with it.

0:30:44.320 --> 0:30:46.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm just letting it take me, and I'm not resisting.

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:50.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm cooperating. I'm being very cooperative.

0:30:50.880 --> 0:30:55.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I think that our whole lives are filled with

0:30:55.920 --> 0:31:00.240
<v Speaker 1>like a grieving process because we're constantly transforming and evolving, yes,

0:31:00.400 --> 0:31:03.720
<v Speaker 1>and so we're like constantly letting go of a version

0:31:03.760 --> 0:31:06.280
<v Speaker 1>of ourselves. And I think, on that note, I've been

0:31:06.280 --> 0:31:09.000
<v Speaker 1>talking about this with my therapist for on and off

0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:11.880
<v Speaker 1>for a couple of years. Is like, you know, kind

0:31:11.920 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 1>of grieving that the way my life was set up

0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 1>and the type of person that I am, I was

0:31:18.280 --> 0:31:22.880
<v Speaker 1>never going to be someone that moved away from my family.

0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:25.560
<v Speaker 1>And I'm not saying that's good or bad if you did,

0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:30.280
<v Speaker 1>Like there's no judgment there, but it also because that's

0:31:30.320 --> 0:31:32.720
<v Speaker 1>not who I was raised to be, and maybe also

0:31:32.720 --> 0:31:34.720
<v Speaker 1>who I chose to be, because I could have just

0:31:34.720 --> 0:31:37.600
<v Speaker 1>said al Rajo I'm leaving, like y'all figure it out

0:31:37.640 --> 0:31:41.200
<v Speaker 1>by yourselves. That's not who I am. But there's that

0:31:41.280 --> 0:31:44.480
<v Speaker 1>part of me that's like, you know, who could I

0:31:44.560 --> 0:31:47.360
<v Speaker 1>have been? And who? Yeah, who could I have been

0:31:47.400 --> 0:31:51.160
<v Speaker 1>if I had done made some different choices? I think that.

0:31:51.520 --> 0:31:53.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm happy with my life and I'm happy

0:31:53.200 --> 0:31:56.200
<v Speaker 1>with where I'm at, but there is that question that

0:31:56.320 --> 0:31:58.960
<v Speaker 1>doubt of like could my life have been different if

0:31:58.960 --> 0:32:02.040
<v Speaker 1>I had maybe made a choices differently when I was younger.

0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:05.000
<v Speaker 1>And this is not to say that I regrets or anything,

0:32:05.080 --> 0:32:07.600
<v Speaker 1>but I think that to going back to what you're

0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:11.680
<v Speaker 1>saying about grieving and letting go, it's like, okay, letting

0:32:11.720 --> 0:32:14.920
<v Speaker 1>go that like, well, that person is can no longer be?

0:32:15.480 --> 0:32:18.240
<v Speaker 1>That person's gone, so like I cannot get stuck in

0:32:18.240 --> 0:32:22.520
<v Speaker 1>the what if? And should I? And instead, how can

0:32:22.600 --> 0:32:26.240
<v Speaker 1>I think about qualities that maybe that version of me

0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:30.440
<v Speaker 1>has She's somewhere out there, and how can I bring

0:32:30.480 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 1>her into my current life? You know, how can I

0:32:33.880 --> 0:32:36.000
<v Speaker 1>have some of those qualities that maybe I feel are

0:32:36.040 --> 0:32:39.400
<v Speaker 1>missing for me or from my life or what I want?

0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 1>And you know, let them be, let them be here,

0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:45.680
<v Speaker 1>let them be present, as opposed to like thinking my mind,

0:32:45.720 --> 0:32:48.240
<v Speaker 1>letting going and wandering of like what could have been,

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:50.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, like let's be here in.

0:32:50.000 --> 0:32:52.840
<v Speaker 2>The present, because then it's like, oh, am I just

0:32:53.120 --> 0:32:58.880
<v Speaker 2>living in this nostalgia versus like living exactly my reality.

0:32:58.640 --> 0:33:00.640
<v Speaker 1>And it's like you're not appreciate, eat what's right in

0:33:00.680 --> 0:33:03.000
<v Speaker 1>front of you, you know, and so and I think

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:05.160
<v Speaker 1>that we can get caught so caught up in that,

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:11.360
<v Speaker 1>especially if maybe there's unresolved feelings about something, you know,

0:33:11.560 --> 0:33:15.200
<v Speaker 1>whether that be a person or a situation, anything, you

0:33:15.240 --> 0:33:19.360
<v Speaker 1>can get stuck in that like that nostalgia and it's like, oh, actually,

0:33:19.440 --> 0:33:21.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, my life is fabulous, it's great. I've built

0:33:21.800 --> 0:33:24.120
<v Speaker 1>it to be this way, you know, So let me

0:33:24.200 --> 0:33:26.360
<v Speaker 1>be present here and love what's right in front of

0:33:26.360 --> 0:33:27.400
<v Speaker 1>me exactly.

0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:31.120
<v Speaker 2>So important. Also, like if we just think about the

0:33:31.200 --> 0:33:35.760
<v Speaker 2>human brain and like memories, like our brain cannot retain

0:33:36.440 --> 0:33:39.560
<v Speaker 2>every detail of things that have happened in the past,

0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:44.080
<v Speaker 2>and we like fill in details like our minds, you know,

0:33:44.200 --> 0:33:47.280
<v Speaker 2>like our memories are kind of like fragmented together, and

0:33:47.320 --> 0:33:52.120
<v Speaker 2>so the nostalgia sometimes is not completely accurate. Yeah, you know,

0:33:52.200 --> 0:33:54.200
<v Speaker 2>it's like I remember these major things, but a lot

0:33:54.200 --> 0:33:57.240
<v Speaker 2>of this is kind of like being filled in and

0:33:57.480 --> 0:34:00.880
<v Speaker 2>it's almost guessing in some ways. But what we can

0:34:00.920 --> 0:34:03.640
<v Speaker 2>rely on more is, yeah, what's in front of us

0:34:03.680 --> 0:34:07.280
<v Speaker 2>now is much more trustworthy than what we're remembering.

0:34:07.840 --> 0:34:10.080
<v Speaker 1>Definitely, Yeah, I agree.

0:34:10.320 --> 0:34:13.959
<v Speaker 2>So let's see what's next. If you could have lunch

0:34:13.960 --> 0:34:16.319
<v Speaker 2>with anyone dead or alive, who would it be? I

0:34:16.320 --> 0:34:19.759
<v Speaker 2>would much rather the person be alive that I'm having

0:34:19.800 --> 0:34:20.200
<v Speaker 2>lunch with.

0:34:20.400 --> 0:34:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Who would it be?

0:34:21.520 --> 0:34:24.440
<v Speaker 2>Probably? I mean not to be cliche and corny, but

0:34:24.480 --> 0:34:25.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean probably Selena.

0:34:25.960 --> 0:34:26.840
<v Speaker 1>You just said alive?

0:34:27.719 --> 0:34:30.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh she's dead. I forgot. I forgot she's dead for

0:34:30.600 --> 0:34:31.640
<v Speaker 2>a second. How sad?

0:34:31.920 --> 0:34:34.040
<v Speaker 1>You know her memory lives on this?

0:34:34.760 --> 0:34:37.560
<v Speaker 2>So okay? You know who would be fun? I mean

0:34:37.600 --> 0:34:40.480
<v Speaker 2>I think it's very easy to be like, oh, Beyonce. Right,

0:34:40.719 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't actually know how fun she would be over lunch?

0:34:44.680 --> 0:34:46.440
<v Speaker 2>You know, Aubrey Plaza.

0:34:47.120 --> 0:34:48.479
<v Speaker 1>That would be a fun lunch. Yeah.

0:34:48.560 --> 0:34:51.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if it would be fun, but it

0:34:51.440 --> 0:34:53.200
<v Speaker 2>would be okay because I don't think you know what

0:34:53.280 --> 0:34:54.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Like it's her like.

0:34:54.640 --> 0:34:57.440
<v Speaker 1>Right, you're not like laughing hysterically with each other. No,

0:34:57.640 --> 0:34:59.440
<v Speaker 1>there's some like witty banter going on.

0:34:59.560 --> 0:35:01.879
<v Speaker 2>Maybe hopefully, I think she would be very very fun.

0:35:01.920 --> 0:35:02.400
<v Speaker 2>How about you.

0:35:03.200 --> 0:35:05.719
<v Speaker 1>I am terrible at these types of questions. My mind

0:35:05.760 --> 0:35:08.759
<v Speaker 1>goes blank. So I don't know.

0:35:09.480 --> 0:35:12.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like, are there people in the world.

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there are no No one exists. There's no way

0:35:14.719 --> 0:35:16.239
<v Speaker 1>there's no one in the world right now that I

0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:17.120
<v Speaker 1>would have lunch with.

0:35:17.280 --> 0:35:18.160
<v Speaker 2>I would have lunch with you.

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:19.840
<v Speaker 1>I was about to say, I would have lunch with you.

0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 2>We can get left.

0:35:21.600 --> 0:35:22.359
<v Speaker 1>Yes, there we go.

0:35:23.640 --> 0:35:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Great question, guys. Let's see can you do an episode

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:30.280
<v Speaker 2>on women in their thirties and how that's still baby?

0:35:30.280 --> 0:35:32.839
<v Speaker 1>Well, I love this questions so much, and you're right,

0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:33.880
<v Speaker 1>just love the phrasing.

0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:38.040
<v Speaker 2>Thirty is baby, thirty is baby, I'm baby, I am baby,

0:35:39.239 --> 0:35:39.719
<v Speaker 2>and that's it.

0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:41.880
<v Speaker 1>That's it, that's baby.

0:35:42.000 --> 0:35:42.640
<v Speaker 2>Say no more.

0:35:45.480 --> 0:35:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know. I mean I guess there's that

0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:51.839
<v Speaker 1>expectation that like you're like a full grown adult when

0:35:51.840 --> 0:35:54.239
<v Speaker 1>you're in your thirties, right and so, but in so

0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:57.520
<v Speaker 1>many ways, like no, we're still everyone is still learning.

0:35:57.560 --> 0:36:00.839
<v Speaker 1>Everyone is still baby. I will be eighty years old

0:36:00.920 --> 0:36:01.800
<v Speaker 1>and still babies.

0:36:01.880 --> 0:36:03.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh even more so, I will.

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:05.040
<v Speaker 1>Be even more of a senorita when I'm eighty.

0:36:05.080 --> 0:36:10.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, absolutely, I mean we're just thirty something teenage girls.

0:36:10.680 --> 0:36:14.080
<v Speaker 1>Literally I think about that, and I think about too

0:36:14.239 --> 0:36:16.160
<v Speaker 1>God not to be so deep today, but I guess

0:36:16.160 --> 0:36:18.480
<v Speaker 1>here we are. I've been thinking about, like, you know,

0:36:18.480 --> 0:36:19.719
<v Speaker 1>the top of the episode, I was like, I don't

0:36:19.719 --> 0:36:21.880
<v Speaker 1>want to have all these little things. And I was like,

0:36:21.920 --> 0:36:23.400
<v Speaker 1>you know what, when I was a little girl, I

0:36:23.440 --> 0:36:24.520
<v Speaker 1>had lots of little things.

0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:26.200
<v Speaker 2>I saw your storage clean up.

0:36:26.360 --> 0:36:29.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yes, I had little beanie babies, I had barbies.

0:36:30.239 --> 0:36:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Like I definitely had things, not like excessively, right, but like,

0:36:35.760 --> 0:36:39.439
<v Speaker 1>you know, my mom bought me things. And so I've

0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:43.400
<v Speaker 1>been thinking about that now as as someone in their thirties,

0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:46.080
<v Speaker 1>and how like everyone is like talking about like we're

0:36:46.080 --> 0:36:48.600
<v Speaker 1>tapping into our inner childs and I think, yeah, I

0:36:48.680 --> 0:36:50.560
<v Speaker 1>think a lot of us in our thirties we start

0:36:50.600 --> 0:36:53.799
<v Speaker 1>to feel safe again to be like I actually don't

0:36:53.800 --> 0:36:56.920
<v Speaker 1>care if anyone thinks this is weird or nerdy or

0:36:57.680 --> 0:37:01.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, immature. I like it and so cares. Yeah,

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:04.120
<v Speaker 1>And it goes back to like not caring what people think,

0:37:04.280 --> 0:37:06.959
<v Speaker 1>doing it just for you, connecting with your inner child,

0:37:07.080 --> 0:37:09.640
<v Speaker 1>like all those things that I feel like we collectively

0:37:09.640 --> 0:37:12.440
<v Speaker 1>talk about online or women especially talk about online, and

0:37:12.480 --> 0:37:15.920
<v Speaker 1>it's like, yeah, just you're still baby. Just do it, Yeah,

0:37:16.000 --> 0:37:17.040
<v Speaker 1>have your little things.

0:37:17.200 --> 0:37:23.120
<v Speaker 2>Have your little things center play, like finding opportunities to

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:26.000
<v Speaker 2>not be in charge and to not be in control

0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:28.759
<v Speaker 2>and to not make all the decisions and to like

0:37:28.880 --> 0:37:33.320
<v Speaker 2>not drive and you know, kind of not do anything.

0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:34.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:37:34.280 --> 0:37:37.080
<v Speaker 2>I think that's really important. And that's also very baby.

0:37:37.200 --> 0:37:40.200
<v Speaker 1>He's very baby. I've been talking to Phenenmeno about that

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:44.480
<v Speaker 1>too recently. I told him, like, you know, so much

0:37:44.480 --> 0:37:48.640
<v Speaker 1>of my day to day, I'm like scheduling things and

0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:52.280
<v Speaker 1>organizing things and making sure we're on track as a production.

0:37:52.560 --> 0:37:53.680
<v Speaker 2>So she keeps us running.

0:37:53.760 --> 0:37:56.239
<v Speaker 1>I keep us running, and I do it because that's

0:37:56.320 --> 0:38:00.080
<v Speaker 1>my that's my strength, right, and I'm okay, I'm okay

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:02.360
<v Speaker 1>with that. That's my role. But I was telling him, like,

0:38:02.480 --> 0:38:04.360
<v Speaker 1>I actually don't want to pick where to go to dinner.

0:38:04.480 --> 0:38:07.080
<v Speaker 1>I actually don't want to plan a weekend away, So

0:38:07.239 --> 0:38:09.520
<v Speaker 1>can you take lead on that because my brain is

0:38:09.560 --> 0:38:14.080
<v Speaker 1>actually like exhausted. And I didn't realize how I was

0:38:14.080 --> 0:38:16.560
<v Speaker 1>feeling until I told him that. And it's like, you know,

0:38:16.680 --> 0:38:18.239
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be in charge of a date.

0:38:18.480 --> 0:38:20.120
<v Speaker 1>Like I need you to do that, Like you need

0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:22.080
<v Speaker 1>to take lead on that from now on as he should,

0:38:22.200 --> 0:38:24.359
<v Speaker 1>as he should, and but then it's like, well, he's

0:38:24.360 --> 0:38:26.239
<v Speaker 1>not going to know that unless I tell him, right,

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:27.600
<v Speaker 1>you know. So it's like I have to you have

0:38:27.640 --> 0:38:30.200
<v Speaker 1>to communicate or whatever. And so it's one of those

0:38:30.239 --> 0:38:32.120
<v Speaker 1>things where it's like, Okay, I'm baby, but I have

0:38:32.200 --> 0:38:33.640
<v Speaker 1>to let everybody know that I'm baby.

0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Yes, you have to be a very verbose, communicative baby

0:38:38.840 --> 0:38:43.360
<v Speaker 2>who states their intentions and their boundary exactly, very self

0:38:43.400 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 2>actualized baby, which is what it's all about. Yeah, it's

0:38:47.480 --> 0:38:50.240
<v Speaker 2>what it's all about. Great question.

0:38:51.960 --> 0:38:54.239
<v Speaker 1>We're just like flowing through these questions right now. I

0:38:54.280 --> 0:38:55.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't think we were going to get through them.

0:38:55.480 --> 0:38:57.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, lookaz, it's fun. Yeah, it's always fun. Send

0:38:57.880 --> 0:39:01.160
<v Speaker 2>us questions, y'all, just like keep them coming, email us,

0:39:02.040 --> 0:39:04.760
<v Speaker 2>go to the website, send us something on speak pipe.

0:39:05.800 --> 0:39:10.880
<v Speaker 2>Do y'all have any tradition traditions for the other loostos

0:39:12.080 --> 0:39:14.319
<v Speaker 2>right now? As a podcast, our tradition is every year

0:39:14.360 --> 0:39:17.479
<v Speaker 2>saying we're gonna like submit anout that for the Grand Park,

0:39:17.640 --> 0:39:20.800
<v Speaker 2>the other Moertos or the Hollywood Forever the other Motos,

0:39:20.840 --> 0:39:22.759
<v Speaker 2>and never doing it, but always talking about it.

0:39:22.880 --> 0:39:25.160
<v Speaker 1>We've been talking about it since twenty sixteen.

0:39:25.239 --> 0:39:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Actually that's our tradition. It's our tradition talking about an

0:39:28.200 --> 0:39:29.840
<v Speaker 2>altar and then not submitting.

0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:32.799
<v Speaker 1>Not doing it. We need a bigger team. There's just

0:39:33.000 --> 0:39:35.719
<v Speaker 1>two of us plus our lovely producer, but she just

0:39:35.760 --> 0:39:38.080
<v Speaker 1>does audio. Like we don't expect her to like event

0:39:38.120 --> 0:39:41.400
<v Speaker 1>plan with us, you know, and so she can't. So yeah,

0:39:41.520 --> 0:39:43.160
<v Speaker 1>that's that is our tradition.

0:39:43.440 --> 0:39:46.280
<v Speaker 2>We have a lot of aspirations and dreams, but something

0:39:46.320 --> 0:39:48.319
<v Speaker 2>like building one of those out that is is it's

0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:51.800
<v Speaker 2>a lot of work. It's construction. Oh yeah, Like it's

0:39:51.560 --> 0:39:53.919
<v Speaker 2>a it's a big art installation.

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:56.880
<v Speaker 1>And we're not just gonna like throw something together. Like

0:39:56.920 --> 0:39:59.080
<v Speaker 1>it has to be an experience because that's what we

0:39:59.120 --> 0:39:59.480
<v Speaker 1>do here.

0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:02.360
<v Speaker 2>That's what we do here, and at these events, the

0:40:02.400 --> 0:40:06.080
<v Speaker 2>altars are extravagant and they have a purpose and a

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:10.720
<v Speaker 2>design and intention and a color scheme, and they're they're

0:40:10.840 --> 0:40:13.080
<v Speaker 2>huge and people go all out. So we can't just

0:40:13.120 --> 0:40:15.600
<v Speaker 2>come up with, you know, our little tablecloth and a

0:40:15.640 --> 0:40:16.799
<v Speaker 2>candle and call it a day.

0:40:17.400 --> 0:40:19.560
<v Speaker 1>That's good for your home out that, but not for

0:40:20.000 --> 0:40:22.000
<v Speaker 1>like an installation piece exactly.

0:40:22.320 --> 0:40:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how about personally, do you have theos tradition?

0:40:26.960 --> 0:40:28.919
<v Speaker 1>Ah, Well, we build an out of that, and I'm

0:40:29.000 --> 0:40:32.680
<v Speaker 1>actually kind of dreading it this year. Tone shift obviously,

0:40:32.760 --> 0:40:36.280
<v Speaker 1>but this is the this is unexpectedly I am putting

0:40:36.520 --> 0:40:39.920
<v Speaker 1>my dog Glusko on the altar, and I am not

0:40:40.040 --> 0:40:44.359
<v Speaker 1>ready and very devastated and still grieving that loss. And

0:40:44.480 --> 0:40:49.560
<v Speaker 1>so I am, you know, in so many ways. Last

0:40:49.640 --> 0:40:52.440
<v Speaker 1>year was the first year that we put our cat

0:40:51.800 --> 0:40:55.719
<v Speaker 1>are my pet, mister Bean. He had lived with us

0:40:55.760 --> 0:40:59.359
<v Speaker 1>for about eighteen years, and that was his first year

0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:02.200
<v Speaker 1>going on the end, and that was, you know, very sad,

0:41:02.280 --> 0:41:07.200
<v Speaker 1>very beautiful, but an expected loss because he was having

0:41:07.280 --> 0:41:10.920
<v Speaker 1>some problems, some health problems. And then this year, you know,

0:41:11.080 --> 0:41:14.719
<v Speaker 1>just how unexpectedly we lost Gusco. I am just have

0:41:14.800 --> 0:41:19.920
<v Speaker 1>been grieving pretty intensely for the last couple of months,

0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:22.799
<v Speaker 1>and so that is just for me, Like as we

0:41:22.880 --> 0:41:27.719
<v Speaker 1>approach the holiday, I'm feeling very very sad, and you know,

0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:31.799
<v Speaker 1>of course, like there's the human loss, and you know,

0:41:32.480 --> 0:41:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I've lost people, several people in the last couple of years,

0:41:36.640 --> 0:41:40.120
<v Speaker 1>but I just again, like the way I lost Gusco,

0:41:40.200 --> 0:41:43.880
<v Speaker 1>and I haven't shared publicly, but he was hit by

0:41:43.880 --> 0:41:47.759
<v Speaker 1>a car and I have not gotten over it, and

0:41:47.800 --> 0:41:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't see myself ever getting over it, and so

0:41:50.800 --> 0:41:56.040
<v Speaker 1>it's just been really hard, really hard, and so yeah,

0:41:56.120 --> 0:41:59.600
<v Speaker 1>that is like something that I'm mentally preparing myself for,

0:42:00.040 --> 0:42:03.879
<v Speaker 1>especially on social media, like the way people build these

0:42:04.040 --> 0:42:08.479
<v Speaker 1>beautiful altars for their dogs. Even I'm like, oh, love

0:42:08.520 --> 0:42:10.960
<v Speaker 1>that for you. I can't. I'm not already.

0:42:11.200 --> 0:42:13.360
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot. That's a lot of attention and like

0:42:13.480 --> 0:42:17.200
<v Speaker 2>thinking about the it's just a lot of focus and energy.

0:42:17.719 --> 0:42:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, I think it's a

0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:24.959
<v Speaker 1>beautiful tradition and we're still going to do it, and

0:42:25.760 --> 0:42:27.799
<v Speaker 1>as hard as it's going to be. I've actually been

0:42:27.840 --> 0:42:32.920
<v Speaker 1>thinking about going to I haven't been. I've strategically avoided

0:42:33.680 --> 0:42:36.600
<v Speaker 1>the street where he died, and so I have been

0:42:36.600 --> 0:42:40.520
<v Speaker 1>thinking about maybe doing like a public altar, if you will, yeah,

0:42:40.560 --> 0:42:44.919
<v Speaker 1>by the road, a little a little display, but we'll see.

0:42:44.960 --> 0:42:46.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm actually ready for that, but

0:42:46.440 --> 0:42:47.239
<v Speaker 1>it's been in my mind.

0:42:47.840 --> 0:42:52.320
<v Speaker 2>That's a beautiful way to remember him. We just recognized

0:42:52.360 --> 0:42:56.040
<v Speaker 2>the anniversary of my grandfather's passing a year ago, so

0:42:56.160 --> 0:42:59.239
<v Speaker 2>for the other and what thos will likely will light

0:42:59.320 --> 0:43:03.799
<v Speaker 2>some candles and you know, my grandmother likes to pray

0:43:03.840 --> 0:43:07.279
<v Speaker 2>the rosary, so maybe a little bit of that. The

0:43:07.360 --> 0:43:09.719
<v Speaker 2>other Moretos is also the same day as my friend

0:43:09.800 --> 0:43:14.080
<v Speaker 2>Lilia's birthday, so she always does something so that ends

0:43:14.160 --> 0:43:18.160
<v Speaker 2>up being kind of like what I am doing on

0:43:18.239 --> 0:43:20.920
<v Speaker 2>the other loss Morthos is somehow like celebrating her birthday

0:43:20.960 --> 0:43:22.040
<v Speaker 2>somehow if she's around.

0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:24.920
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, that's lovely. It is.

0:43:25.280 --> 0:43:25.600
<v Speaker 2>It is.

0:43:25.880 --> 0:43:29.200
<v Speaker 1>It's like a it's like a to like a meeting

0:43:29.360 --> 0:43:36.080
<v Speaker 1>of two things of like birth death anniversaries, you know,

0:43:36.160 --> 0:43:39.239
<v Speaker 1>and a celebration, because that is what the other Martos is, right,

0:43:39.239 --> 0:43:42.040
<v Speaker 1>it is a celebration of of life and memory.

0:43:43.040 --> 0:43:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Very true, Yeah, very true. Yes, yes, yes, it's uh,

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:51.480
<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of energy exchange there, back and forth

0:43:52.080 --> 0:43:55.760
<v Speaker 2>in a very beautiful way. Yeah, let's see what's next.

0:43:56.040 --> 0:43:58.600
<v Speaker 2>At what moment do you risk it all to follow

0:43:58.640 --> 0:44:03.120
<v Speaker 2>your dreams? I would say, don't risk it all. I mean,

0:44:03.400 --> 0:44:05.319
<v Speaker 2>be able to pay your rent and have like a

0:44:05.360 --> 0:44:09.480
<v Speaker 2>backup plan until you have something concrete coming in is

0:44:09.520 --> 0:44:12.400
<v Speaker 2>what I would say. It's okay to work and follow

0:44:12.440 --> 0:44:15.520
<v Speaker 2>your dreams, and sometimes that's what you have to do.

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:17.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't know about risking it all. I don't know

0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:21.480
<v Speaker 2>if we've had a moment where we like risked it all.

0:44:22.080 --> 0:44:25.320
<v Speaker 1>No, I think we made very strategic jumps, yeah, and leaps,

0:44:25.360 --> 0:44:27.600
<v Speaker 1>like the leaps came when they had to come. Yeah,

0:44:27.640 --> 0:44:30.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that we didn't. We didn't risk it all

0:44:30.560 --> 0:44:33.400
<v Speaker 1>until we knew there was a safety net because we

0:44:33.480 --> 0:44:34.880
<v Speaker 1>just weren't in a position to do that.

0:44:35.800 --> 0:44:39.279
<v Speaker 2>No, because risking it all means what, oh, now I

0:44:39.320 --> 0:44:42.600
<v Speaker 2>can't pay my bills and now what Like you can't

0:44:42.760 --> 0:44:46.640
<v Speaker 2>follow your dreams? Takes money, is the other piece of it. Yeah,

0:44:46.640 --> 0:44:50.080
<v Speaker 2>And like getting work done being a creative, like it

0:44:50.120 --> 0:44:53.160
<v Speaker 2>takes money to get yourself together and to get yourself

0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:55.680
<v Speaker 2>out there and to build your portfolio and to get

0:44:55.680 --> 0:44:59.120
<v Speaker 2>work done, and so quite often you kind of have

0:44:59.239 --> 0:45:02.400
<v Speaker 2>to be self fun did anyways, and so how are

0:45:02.440 --> 0:45:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you going to do that? You gotta work. So I've

0:45:04.680 --> 0:45:08.240
<v Speaker 2>never been one to say, like, yeah, just take the leap,

0:45:08.920 --> 0:45:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, put it on your vision board, work towards it,

0:45:12.880 --> 0:45:15.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, yes, but don't put yourself in like a

0:45:15.680 --> 0:45:18.960
<v Speaker 2>precarious financial situation that we're going to suffer from. And

0:45:18.960 --> 0:45:20.719
<v Speaker 2>then you can't focus on what you want to do,

0:45:21.360 --> 0:45:23.239
<v Speaker 2>Like you can't focus on the next thing if you're

0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:26.000
<v Speaker 2>just you know, if you have no idea how you're

0:45:26.000 --> 0:45:27.000
<v Speaker 2>going to pay your rent.

0:45:28.360 --> 0:45:31.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that would be my same advice. Don't risk it all,

0:45:32.280 --> 0:45:37.720
<v Speaker 1>strategically risk it all, baby steps, little risks. Yeah, I agree,

0:45:37.840 --> 0:45:42.520
<v Speaker 1>I agree. Okay, final question, what advice would you give

0:45:42.560 --> 0:45:46.520
<v Speaker 1>to your younger self? Oh? Lord, have you seen that meme?

0:45:46.719 --> 0:45:49.440
<v Speaker 1>That's like do it for your younger self or think

0:45:49.480 --> 0:45:51.239
<v Speaker 1>of your younger self? And it's like, why would I

0:45:51.239 --> 0:45:53.959
<v Speaker 1>pay attention to a fifteen year old mentally ill girl?

0:45:56.080 --> 0:45:59.400
<v Speaker 2>Ah? Poor young me? What would I say to my

0:45:59.440 --> 0:46:04.160
<v Speaker 2>younger self? I would say to my younger self, Look, girl,

0:46:06.080 --> 0:46:09.440
<v Speaker 2>you're gonna get through it. Buck up, chin up, You're

0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:12.320
<v Speaker 2>gonna be okay. And I promise that older you is

0:46:12.360 --> 0:46:15.920
<v Speaker 2>gonna give you grace and understanding that I can promise, like,

0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:19.480
<v Speaker 2>don't be afraid to make mistakes because there's forgiveness on

0:46:19.560 --> 0:46:22.560
<v Speaker 2>the other side. And I'm not gonna throw you under

0:46:22.560 --> 0:46:27.160
<v Speaker 2>the bus. I'm gonna defend you. Like That's what I

0:46:27.200 --> 0:46:29.439
<v Speaker 2>would say to my younger self is like I got

0:46:29.480 --> 0:46:31.880
<v Speaker 2>you on the other side. I see you. You're gonna

0:46:31.880 --> 0:46:34.480
<v Speaker 2>be fine. And I'm like, now I'm getting emotional, like

0:46:34.520 --> 0:46:37.160
<v Speaker 2>I've got your back, like make your choices, like do

0:46:37.239 --> 0:46:42.040
<v Speaker 2>your thing, learn and like I'm gonna cover you like

0:46:42.400 --> 0:46:43.839
<v Speaker 2>you are protected.

0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:49.759
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love that. That's beautiful. Yeah, I would say

0:46:49.840 --> 0:46:53.480
<v Speaker 1>something similar, you know, like, it's okay to not be perfect.

0:46:53.800 --> 0:46:58.239
<v Speaker 1>It's okay to not know everything. And it's not your

0:46:58.360 --> 0:47:01.000
<v Speaker 1>job to take care of other people. Actually just a kid.

0:47:01.719 --> 0:47:05.440
<v Speaker 1>And when you're older, I got you. I will take

0:47:05.480 --> 0:47:09.520
<v Speaker 1>care of you, and I will nurture you, and I

0:47:09.560 --> 0:47:14.160
<v Speaker 1>will make sure your emotional needs are met. So it's

0:47:14.200 --> 0:47:17.000
<v Speaker 1>okay to make a mistake. It's okay to not have straight.

0:47:16.680 --> 0:47:18.640
<v Speaker 2>A's ooh big one.

0:47:19.400 --> 0:47:24.359
<v Speaker 1>It's okay to not have the highest GPA ooh big one. Yes,

0:47:25.000 --> 0:47:28.680
<v Speaker 1>Catholic schoolgirl here. It's hard. They're mean to us. It's

0:47:28.680 --> 0:47:32.080
<v Speaker 1>gonna work out, and you know what, the tattoos are fine.

0:47:32.280 --> 0:47:36.320
<v Speaker 1>You're your own boss. Now, it's cool. You got it.

0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:37.600
<v Speaker 2>Literally, nobody cares.

0:47:37.760 --> 0:47:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Nobody cares. My boss Mala said it was fine.

0:47:41.360 --> 0:47:43.200
<v Speaker 2>Get more.

0:47:43.760 --> 0:47:44.359
<v Speaker 1>There we go.

0:47:46.760 --> 0:47:49.040
<v Speaker 2>Great questions, y'all, Yeah, thank.

0:47:48.840 --> 0:47:51.480
<v Speaker 1>You so much for listening to another episode of lok

0:47:51.480 --> 0:47:54.919
<v Speaker 1>A Radio. This was a fun episode to make. We've

0:47:54.960 --> 0:47:58.480
<v Speaker 1>done some heavy episodes this season. Yes, it's nice to

0:47:58.719 --> 0:48:01.719
<v Speaker 1>take a moment to answer the questions. Connect with you

0:48:01.760 --> 0:48:04.879
<v Speaker 1>all in this way and also connect with each other.

0:48:05.560 --> 0:48:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Yes, we laughed, we cried, we did it all. So

0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:12.759
<v Speaker 2>thank you for tuning in to another episode of look

0:48:12.800 --> 0:48:15.760
<v Speaker 2>at Radio. Till next time, Bespos.

0:48:17.440 --> 0:48:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Look at Radio is executive produced by Viosa Fem and

0:48:20.800 --> 0:48:21.759
<v Speaker 1>Mala Munios.

0:48:21.960 --> 0:48:24.400
<v Speaker 2>Stephanie Franco is our producer.

0:48:24.280 --> 0:48:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Story editing by Me viosa.

0:48:26.680 --> 0:48:28.400
<v Speaker 2>Creative direction by Me Mala.

0:48:28.600 --> 0:48:31.560
<v Speaker 1>Look At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura

0:48:31.640 --> 0:48:32.520
<v Speaker 1>podcast network.

0:48:32.760 --> 0:48:35.319
<v Speaker 2>You can listen to look at Radio on the iHeartRadio

0:48:35.360 --> 0:48:37.399
<v Speaker 2>app or wherever you get your podcasts.

0:48:37.600 --> 0:48:39.840
<v Speaker 1>Leave us a review and share with your prima or

0:48:39.840 --> 0:48:40.800
<v Speaker 1>share with your homegirl.

0:48:40.920 --> 0:48:43.440
<v Speaker 2>And thank you to our local motes, to our listeners

0:48:43.440 --> 0:48:45.000
<v Speaker 2>for tuning in each and every week.

0:48:45.120 --> 0:48:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Besitos Loca