WEBVTT - Consistency, Practice & Affirmations with Devi Brown 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.800 Welcome to Deeply Well. This show is a soft place 0:00:06.860 --> 0:00:10.200 to land on your journey. A space where we explore 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.060 what it truly means to live well from the inside out. 0:00:14.980 --> 0:00:20.920 Not perfectly, but honestly. This is Deeply Well. Hey everyone, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.280 welcome back to Deeply Well. I am Debbie Brown and 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:28.850 we are back this week with another Q & A episode. 0:00:28.870 --> 0:00:29.770 I love these. 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.269 And this one is especially for those of you who 0:00:33.330 --> 0:00:39.449 have read my book, Living in Wisdom. Hardcover, paperback, both 0:00:39.530 --> 0:00:44.170 are in stores. This book was really created from the 0:00:44.350 --> 0:00:47.750 depths of my heart as an invitation to deepen your 0:00:47.790 --> 0:00:51.530 relationship with yourself, to return to the wisdom that already 0:00:51.580 --> 0:00:54.200 lives within you and explore what it means to really 0:00:54.380 --> 0:00:57.810 live from that place more fully. When we get the 0:00:57.870 --> 0:01:03.970 opportunity to inhabit our bodies, it changes everything. So today 0:01:04.010 --> 0:01:09.480 we're continuing that journey together through your questions, reflections, and 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:12.280 the ideas from the book that have stayed with you. 0:01:12.860 --> 0:01:15.819 So whether there was a particular passage that opened something 0:01:15.860 --> 0:01:19.240 within you, a practice that you've started exploring, or a 0:01:19.260 --> 0:01:22.140 question that emerged as you moved through the book, I 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:25.190 want to hear all about it from you. So send 0:01:25.250 --> 0:01:27.530 us what you've been sitting with. We may explore it 0:01:27.730 --> 0:01:30.350 in an upcoming Q & A episode. I put a 0:01:30.390 --> 0:01:35.890 couple prompts out on threads, on YouTube, and also Instagram. Yeah, 0:01:35.910 --> 0:01:39.420 those are all the places I am. But for now, 0:01:39.690 --> 0:01:43.139 let's just spend some time with some of the beautiful 0:01:43.180 --> 0:01:45.740 questions that have already come in. So I'm going to 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:50.220 lean really heavily on our amazing show producer, Denisha, today. 0:01:51.010 --> 0:01:54.370 The questions that we received today were written in. Previously, 0:01:54.410 --> 0:01:57.300 we've used like a call-in method, which we still will, 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.540 but these were written in. So Denisha is going to 0:02:01.620 --> 0:02:04.700 read a few questions for me, and hopefully we can 0:02:04.780 --> 0:02:08.380 dive in deeply to some of the ways to really 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:11.810 be in practice and in process with ourselves. 0:02:13.950 --> 0:02:14.530 Let's go. 0:02:14.550 --> 0:02:14.910 All right. 0:02:14.930 --> 0:02:15.310 All right. 0:02:16.020 --> 0:02:20.440 Denisha, if you would please share with me the first 0:02:20.500 --> 0:02:21.640 question that we have today. 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:25.970 For someone who continually starts a daily practice and then 0:02:26.030 --> 0:02:29.070 falls away from it, how can they return with compassion 0:02:29.290 --> 0:02:30.870 and build greater consistency? 0:02:31.950 --> 0:02:34.589 Oh my God, I love this question. I feel like 0:02:34.650 --> 0:02:39.290 this question is honestly the foundation of my teaching style 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:44.350 when I'm leading intensives or workshops or retreats. I teach 0:02:44.630 --> 0:02:51.980 in person really, really deeply with a lot of nuance 0:02:53.060 --> 0:02:57.120 about the process of what it truly is to slowly 0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:01.300 build your practice. So I'm really grateful for that question 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.880 because I think that's the place we all find ourselves 0:03:03.970 --> 0:03:09.359 in when we start. And it keeps probably 98, 99% 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:14.340 of people from ever trying again or locking into something 0:03:14.380 --> 0:03:19.859 that could be really supportive and expansive for them. So 0:03:19.900 --> 0:03:26.240 I think my advice for anyone getting started and building 0:03:26.260 --> 0:03:31.000 a practice or someone that is looking to really reignite 0:03:31.100 --> 0:03:36.080 and get back into something that feels consistent and evolutionary 0:03:36.120 --> 0:03:39.320 for wherever they are in their lives, is to first 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:45.380 study your barriers to it. Understand what in you is 0:03:45.500 --> 0:03:50.430 rejecting it. It's very hard to move forward, especially in 0:03:50.470 --> 0:03:57.370 a place of like authentic investment and receiving with something, 0:03:57.490 --> 0:04:00.850 a mechanism inside of yourself that you don't fully understand 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:05.520 that keeps pulling you back. And often we just notice 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.790 the feeling of, oh, I really don't like doing this 0:04:07.890 --> 0:04:10.390 or it gives me anxiety or I feel restless or, oh, 0:04:10.450 --> 0:04:14.030 I think too much. Yeah. So because it's not naturally 0:04:14.090 --> 0:04:18.190 happening for me with ease, it's not for me. When 0:04:18.230 --> 0:04:21.100 in effect, that is actually also part of the practice. 0:04:21.270 --> 0:04:25.720 It's noticing what comes up that is keeping you from 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:29.839 doing something that is good for you. And I think 0:04:29.880 --> 0:04:32.760 we can explore that in so many ways. And once 0:04:32.860 --> 0:04:36.770 we kind of lock into a way that we understand 0:04:36.890 --> 0:04:40.370 it even about one thing, it's so easy to then 0:04:40.430 --> 0:04:51.500 apply that precision and experimentation to absolutely everything in your life. 0:04:52.900 --> 0:04:57.279 But notice what exactly it is that you're feeling rejecting about. 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:02.339 Is it the sitting still? follow it up with your 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.719 first layer of answers of why that's an issue. Usually 0:05:05.779 --> 0:05:11.969 if it's like restlessness or just overthinking, what I've noticed 0:05:12.029 --> 0:05:13.849 is that the first things that start to come up 0:05:13.890 --> 0:05:18.010 for people are, oh, I think too much. It's because 0:05:18.070 --> 0:05:21.549 my mind is too busy. I'm type A. I have ADHD. 0:05:21.870 --> 0:05:25.550 Or I, in some other way, I just have too 0:05:25.589 --> 0:05:28.210 much going on. I am, you know, the pillar of 0:05:28.270 --> 0:05:33.430 my home, the I'm a daydreamer. I'm thinking about this, right? 0:05:33.490 --> 0:05:37.729 We come up with this list of things. And I 0:05:37.830 --> 0:05:42.580 think that when those things first start emerging as our 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:47.460 answers to these questions, they seem perfectly rational, right? Like 0:05:47.500 --> 0:05:50.380 it seems like, yeah, that makes perfect sense. I am 0:05:50.460 --> 0:05:53.380 really busy. I'm probably busier than most people. So I 0:05:53.420 --> 0:05:55.460 think too much or I have these things. So these 0:05:55.500 --> 0:05:59.690 are the reasons why. And I think what becomes really 0:05:59.790 --> 0:06:03.870 powerful is When we stop, when we slow down enough, one, 0:06:03.910 --> 0:06:07.170 to observe it, see what it's stemming from. We also 0:06:07.210 --> 0:06:09.950 get to see that, like, in fact, it's not that 0:06:10.029 --> 0:06:15.310 we're just so different and so othered. It's a common 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:20.040 thing that anybody who's ever attempted it has pretty much faced. 0:06:20.620 --> 0:06:23.020 It's part of what the human condition is. Like, we 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:30.510 have been overly stimulated, overthinking by design. and constantly pulled 0:06:30.830 --> 0:06:34.830 in such a multitude of ways, most especially in the 0:06:34.910 --> 0:06:37.710 force feeding of this belief that we should always be 0:06:37.770 --> 0:06:42.900 multitasking or accomplishing and accomplishing multiple things and thoughts at 0:06:42.940 --> 0:06:45.820 the same time. So when we start to get some 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.660 of those things on paper or in front of us 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:54.120 more clearly, we then get to like really analyze and 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.780 notice how true any of it is or isn't. 0:06:57.520 --> 0:06:57.810 Right? 0:06:57.900 --> 0:07:00.130 And especially when we get to take away this kind 0:07:00.170 --> 0:07:03.370 of egoic specialness where we think we are the one 0:07:03.490 --> 0:07:06.950 person on earth that this isn't for because our lot 0:07:07.010 --> 0:07:11.429 in life is just so different that there's no way 0:07:11.490 --> 0:07:15.150 it could work for us. When we get that first layer, 0:07:15.250 --> 0:07:19.630 just kind of like slough it off, surrender it. Then 0:07:19.670 --> 0:07:23.320 we get to like a little deeper gooey center and 0:07:23.340 --> 0:07:26.900 get to really explore what it is, right? So Under 0:07:26.940 --> 0:07:30.280 that first layer, okay, you think too much, as does 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.140 every human alive. What else? 0:07:32.750 --> 0:07:33.170 What else? 0:07:33.350 --> 0:07:35.650 What else is keeping you from it? Oh, I don't 0:07:35.690 --> 0:07:37.830 have time and I should be doing this or that. 0:07:39.130 --> 0:07:44.530 You scrolled 45 minutes today. So we know you have 0:07:44.550 --> 0:07:47.110 the time, right? Or you did X, Y, and Z 0:07:47.150 --> 0:07:49.550 for X amount of time. We know you have the time. 0:07:49.590 --> 0:07:52.840 We know you can find time. And I say this 0:07:52.900 --> 0:07:55.040 for the majority of people. There is a percentage of 0:07:55.140 --> 0:07:57.770 people who that in this moment, you might be hearing 0:07:57.810 --> 0:08:01.450 this episode at rock bottom or at your absolute thread 0:08:01.630 --> 0:08:07.440 bared hanging on end. And there could be literally no time. 0:08:07.500 --> 0:08:10.700 And you know, if that's you, your body is probably 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:15.270 already responding to some signs of burnout. There's probably just 0:08:16.070 --> 0:08:19.090 so many extreme things if that is your current predicament. 0:08:19.190 --> 0:08:23.280 And for you, I would say, most especially, Do not 0:08:23.340 --> 0:08:25.860 judge yourself and be hard on yourself. And if there 0:08:26.060 --> 0:08:32.170 is no time, find just the brief seconds in between thoughts. 0:08:32.510 --> 0:08:35.150 Find the moment that you don't have to be walking 0:08:35.210 --> 0:08:39.230 fast and you notice that you are and stop and 0:08:39.270 --> 0:08:42.109 take three deep breaths in a row and then keep going. 0:08:42.570 --> 0:08:45.490 That might be the practice until there is space to 0:08:45.550 --> 0:08:48.829 deepen it. But there are still things that you can 0:08:48.950 --> 0:08:52.320 use to show up in that moment. Okay. Okay. So 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.189 that piece now plays to the side, but it's important 0:08:55.230 --> 0:08:58.829 to know for, you know, whatever, whatever the percentage of 0:08:58.890 --> 0:09:06.439 people listening, um, that are overburdened. However, um, for some 0:09:06.500 --> 0:09:08.420 of us that may be in a season where there 0:09:08.640 --> 0:09:12.179 is that spare 15 minutes, that spare 30, perhaps even 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:20.910 a spare 45 at some point, um, Notice when you're 0:09:20.970 --> 0:09:26.110 giving a very simplified, dare I say, lazy answer to 0:09:26.950 --> 0:09:30.200 why you can't do something. And then really push yourself 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:34.120 to come up with the real reasons. Go a little further, 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.540 dig a little deeper. It might feel a little sticky 0:09:37.580 --> 0:09:40.080 at first, a little heavy at first, but you'll push 0:09:40.140 --> 0:09:43.200 through it quickly. And when you do, you get to 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:45.559 some of those deeper layers and roots. And some of 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:48.800 the things that I've seen when I teach is You know, 0:09:49.059 --> 0:09:53.309 we might climb under all of the high achieving perfectionist 0:09:53.410 --> 0:10:02.140 type A successful layers of, you know, responses to why 0:10:02.179 --> 0:10:04.760 there is no time and space for practice. And then 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:12.479 when we climb through all, all, all, all of those 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:19.449 kind of, those explanations, We get to a deeper layer 0:10:19.470 --> 0:10:23.900 of maybe caring for yourself is uncomfortable because you're not 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:26.080 used to it and no one ever showed you how. 0:10:27.140 --> 0:10:30.640 Or perhaps it's, you know, there wasn't enough care in 0:10:30.700 --> 0:10:34.480 childhood and that feels sensitive. You've always had to be 0:10:34.500 --> 0:10:36.960 the one to meet your needs. So now as an adult, 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.180 there is a piece of you that rejects that and 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.800 fights that and wants someone else to come and do 0:10:42.900 --> 0:10:48.260 it or wants the easier solution, the different solution. very understandable, 0:10:48.860 --> 0:10:52.179 most likely will not unfold that way. So it's important 0:10:52.220 --> 0:10:55.320 to know if that is a barrier or a sensitivity 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.740 so we can find a workaround for it so you 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.469 still get what you need. So the investigation part can 0:11:01.510 --> 0:11:06.309 be really, really potently powerful. And it is part of 0:11:06.429 --> 0:11:09.830 what the practice is. It's part of, you know, when 0:11:09.870 --> 0:11:13.390 I say things like bring creativity into your practice, your 0:11:13.429 --> 0:11:14.660 practice can. 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:15.819 Be, should be creative. 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:20.780 It should be uniquely designed for who and what you 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:25.970 are in this particular time. That's what I mean. And 0:11:26.370 --> 0:11:30.520 so the investigation is part of how you build it. 0:11:30.990 --> 0:11:35.050 And I think for so many, that part gets bypassed 0:11:35.170 --> 0:11:38.960 because it's too connected to judgment of you not getting 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.850 it right, you not getting it perfect at first. Just 0:11:43.110 --> 0:11:46.400 preserve the time if nothing else is you're getting started. 0:11:46.540 --> 0:11:50.420 And if you've identified that you have 15, 25 minutes 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:56.950 every day to start creating a practice in the beginning, 0:11:57.090 --> 0:11:58.850 even on the days that you don't know what to 0:11:58.910 --> 0:12:03.370 do or sick of doing whatever you're doing, commit to 0:12:03.490 --> 0:12:08.140 staying in that container of time and not moving. If 0:12:08.179 --> 0:12:11.160 you've identified a certain corner in your house, an area, 0:12:11.179 --> 0:12:13.320 a place you're going to go to do whatever these 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:17.869 things are, even on the days you don't end up 0:12:17.929 --> 0:12:21.510 doing it or feel you're not doing it right, stay 0:12:21.710 --> 0:12:24.390 in the container of it for the exact amount of 0:12:24.450 --> 0:12:27.390 time you promised yourself you would. That is still a 0:12:27.429 --> 0:12:31.480 big win. Even if you're there screaming, rolling your eyes, 0:12:31.860 --> 0:12:35.020 hating every second of it, the more you do that, 0:12:35.700 --> 0:12:38.800 and it will not take long, the easier it is 0:12:38.900 --> 0:12:43.140 to start to sink into and really expand into whatever 0:12:43.220 --> 0:12:47.300 this time and space needs to be for you. Because 0:12:47.460 --> 0:12:54.170 self-care is meant to be experienced as fuel, as the 0:12:54.450 --> 0:12:58.809 fuel to keep you going, as the mechanism within which 0:12:59.370 --> 0:13:02.840 you can meet your needs. And sometimes those needs are 0:13:02.860 --> 0:13:07.319 gonna be, you are screaming into a pillow, and jumping 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:11.460 up and down or swaying your hips or hugging yourself 0:13:11.540 --> 0:13:14.640 for that amount of time. Sometimes it's going to be 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.960 you're in a meditation that's making you cry and making 0:13:17.980 --> 0:13:21.170 you uncomfortable. Sometimes you'll be in a meditation that is 0:13:21.250 --> 0:13:25.270 making you smile and feel a peace like you've never 0:13:25.350 --> 0:13:29.429 known or creative inspiration in a way you've never known. 0:13:30.210 --> 0:13:32.500 We don't always know what's going to meet us in 0:13:32.540 --> 0:13:35.480 our practice or what we're going to need it for 0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:37.740 that day. But a thing that I found to be 0:13:37.780 --> 0:13:41.420 deeply true is that when you commit and devote yourself 0:13:42.020 --> 0:13:48.359 to staying with whatever that is in that process, a 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:53.330 need will get met that day, however it unfolds, and 0:13:53.450 --> 0:13:57.670 something will expand inside of you. And your capacity to 0:13:57.790 --> 0:14:00.980 hold your practice for the way you need it every 0:14:01.179 --> 0:14:07.429 single time will stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch open. So 0:14:07.470 --> 0:14:12.630 I think that is a really important first step in 0:14:13.010 --> 0:14:17.209 building a practice and in connecting to a consistency that 0:14:17.290 --> 0:14:23.150 feels really sustainable. It is imperative that you extract any 0:14:23.270 --> 0:14:29.070 idea of perfectionism or rightness or performance or showcasing of 0:14:29.130 --> 0:14:33.340 it or any of that to it. And just really 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.980 let Holy Spirit come in, let your body come in, 0:14:37.020 --> 0:14:39.960 let your needs come in, let anything you've been holding 0:14:40.540 --> 0:14:43.830 that needs to be cast off or surrendered, just let 0:14:43.870 --> 0:14:47.510 it in and out and through and the rest will unfold. 0:14:47.570 --> 0:14:49.490 And then you get to get really creative, right? Because 0:14:49.510 --> 0:14:52.370 when you start meeting one need or two needs, then 0:14:52.390 --> 0:14:54.970 you clear space and now you can approach other things. 0:14:55.070 --> 0:14:58.520 And so Maybe in one season, your spiritual practice is 0:14:58.740 --> 0:15:03.340 really showing up and serving you emotionally. And maybe in 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:06.520 another season, now that area of your life has some 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:11.190 space and it has some scaffolding and support to it. 0:15:11.940 --> 0:15:14.480 So now your practice may be really focused on your 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.920 physical life and your physical self or your integrated self, 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.410 letting it change from season to season, day to day, 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.359 week to week. That is all part of the process too. 0:15:25.900 --> 0:15:29.460 Commit to the container of the practice, but give yourself 0:15:29.660 --> 0:15:33.320 over to how that practice wants to share itself from 0:15:33.380 --> 0:15:37.730 day to day. Hope all that made sense. Thank you 0:15:37.750 --> 0:15:50.630 for the question. Okay, Denisha, we are ready for question 0:15:50.650 --> 0:15:51.910 number two, please. 0:15:52.490 --> 0:15:56.230 How can we create an affirmation that feels personal, powerful, 0:15:56.330 --> 0:15:59.360 and true, especially when we're struggling to find the right 0:15:59.410 --> 0:16:00.660 words for what we need? 0:16:02.620 --> 0:16:07.619 Ah, that's a good one. Affirmations are my jam. If 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.460 you've been following me for any amount of time, especially 0:16:10.500 --> 0:16:14.240 dating back to like the karma gang era, um, which 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:18.510 started in like 2018, I think karma bliss started in 2015. Um, 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:28.520 affirmations I believe in with my whole soul. And I 0:16:28.570 --> 0:16:31.430 think anything you do to speak life over in yourself 0:16:31.590 --> 0:16:35.390 is more than enough and it's perfect. But personally, and 0:16:35.570 --> 0:16:39.350 this is probably because I am a double Gemini and 0:16:39.370 --> 0:16:43.330 I got ADHD. I'm a thinker and I'm a communicator. 0:16:43.450 --> 0:16:46.890 So I am just always in my bag of words. 0:16:46.970 --> 0:16:50.700 Like how do we use words to alchemize, to transcend, 0:16:50.740 --> 0:16:55.820 to transform? So I like to go deeper into affirmation. 0:16:56.300 --> 0:16:59.840 Sometimes you can hear affirmations like I am love. I 0:16:59.900 --> 0:17:01.700 am strong. I am abundant. 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:02.580 Great. 0:17:03.340 --> 0:17:05.389 I want to add like 25 words to that. 0:17:05.410 --> 0:17:05.950 Okay. 0:17:06.070 --> 0:17:11.390 I want to have a centering statement, a mantra, a creed, 0:17:12.710 --> 0:17:17.740 something that feels like a summoning from within that we 0:17:17.780 --> 0:17:22.820 get to really Create from the depths of us, own, 0:17:23.619 --> 0:17:27.280 and then add our own vibrational quality to it with 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:32.219 the tonality and the power of our own voice, the 0:17:32.300 --> 0:17:35.790 authority of our own energy. So the way that I 0:17:35.830 --> 0:17:39.910 approach affirmations and in my book and also just like 0:17:39.930 --> 0:17:43.030 throughout my post and website, I've shared a lot of 0:17:43.070 --> 0:17:48.830 the affirmations that I've created in extreme times of personal transformation. 0:17:50.150 --> 0:17:52.270 And it felt like every time I was connecting to 0:17:52.290 --> 0:17:55.490 the words and saying them out loud, they were becoming 0:17:55.590 --> 0:17:58.369 more and more true and more lived. So I want 0:17:58.390 --> 0:18:00.710 to give you a couple of baselines for how I 0:18:00.790 --> 0:18:07.889 experience affirmations. One, I think it's important to expand your vocabulary, 0:18:08.170 --> 0:18:15.290 expand your verbal world, your expressive world in what it 0:18:15.570 --> 0:18:19.730 is that you're identifying you want to become or need. Now, 0:18:19.750 --> 0:18:22.950 the way I approach affirmations, and I learned this particular 0:18:23.070 --> 0:18:27.889 style originally from Drs. Ron and Mary Holnick, who have 0:18:27.910 --> 0:18:32.720 an amazing, amazing book out called Loyal to Your Soul, 0:18:32.740 --> 0:18:36.900 and also just had an amazing program that I did 0:18:36.940 --> 0:18:41.410 with them for many, many years. Their system is that 0:18:43.220 --> 0:18:48.560 They work with affirmations from a sense of harvesting different 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:53.980 words that represent qualities that you want to embody. What 0:18:54.050 --> 0:18:59.510 I mean by qualities are really like an innate essence 0:18:59.730 --> 0:19:04.810 of how you are naturally arising in real time, what 0:19:04.850 --> 0:19:09.669 you are naturally giving out and radiating and being and 0:19:09.790 --> 0:19:14.950 living and And quality is also in terms of characteristics. 0:19:15.690 --> 0:19:18.650 You know, what is a character trait that you want 0:19:18.690 --> 0:19:21.650 to own and live? What is a quality, a way 0:19:21.690 --> 0:19:26.640 of being, a way of sharing that you want to live? 0:19:26.700 --> 0:19:30.440 You want it to be who you are, how you give, 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:38.000 how you receive, how you're perceived, how you serve, you know, 0:19:38.180 --> 0:19:41.379 in all the finite ways possible. of whatever moment in 0:19:41.420 --> 0:19:45.470 your life you're in. So I approach affirmations from that 0:19:45.570 --> 0:19:50.719 sense of I'm constructing a statement that is gonna be 0:19:50.850 --> 0:19:59.109 representative of who I am becoming next, who I want 0:19:59.190 --> 0:20:05.639 to be next, what behaviors and actions and choices I 0:20:06.380 --> 0:20:11.080 will be making right now in real time to support 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:15.180 the words I'm saying to become and be and live 0:20:15.510 --> 0:20:23.330 as this next expanded version of self. So I have 0:20:23.430 --> 0:20:25.689 like a list of words that I work with and 0:20:25.750 --> 0:20:27.850 they're found in the book. If you're looking on YouTube, 0:20:27.869 --> 0:20:29.490 you can kind of see me holding them up now. 0:20:29.560 --> 0:20:31.680 It's a lot, a lot of words, a lot of columns. 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:33.930 But I'm going to just read some of them out 0:20:33.970 --> 0:20:37.070 right now. What I like to do, and again, this 0:20:37.170 --> 0:20:38.970 activity is in my book and I think I have 0:20:39.030 --> 0:20:42.430 it in a blog somewhere, but you want to pick, 0:20:44.609 --> 0:20:47.190 I do a little more. I was taught like pick 0:20:47.230 --> 0:20:50.250 two words. I'm like, pick four. What are all the things? 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:54.880 I would say pick a small handful of words. Don't 0:20:54.920 --> 0:20:56.960 be an overachiever and don't try to force it all 0:20:57.000 --> 0:21:03.740 into one thing. Simplify, but give it power. pick an 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:07.710 assortment of words, and then put them together in a 0:21:07.850 --> 0:21:12.270 statement that is happening in the present moment. So if 0:21:12.310 --> 0:21:25.590 you're picking a word like resilient or forgiving, you want 0:21:25.609 --> 0:21:29.370 to create an affirmation that says, you know, I will forgive. 0:21:31.190 --> 0:21:36.730 It would be, I am forgiving X, Y, and Z, 0:21:36.950 --> 0:21:41.370 or I am living in the essence of forgiveness. You're 0:21:41.470 --> 0:21:45.149 saying it as if not only it's already true, but 0:21:45.190 --> 0:21:48.419 you're saying it as if it is already a felt 0:21:48.740 --> 0:21:52.980 action and behavior that your body, brain, and heart already 0:21:53.020 --> 0:21:56.080 know well. It's a tried and true path that you've 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:59.040 already been living. And so I want to find just 0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:01.760 really quickly, maybe an example of one of the ones 0:22:01.820 --> 0:22:03.220 I did in my book, and I'll tell you the 0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:08.449 words that I picked. Oh, that's a good one. Let 0:22:08.490 --> 0:22:12.190 me see. Let me try to teach this real quick. 0:22:13.070 --> 0:22:18.409 Let's see what I got. Okay, so one of the 0:22:18.470 --> 0:22:25.020 affirmations I wrote for myself was, I am trusting and 0:22:25.160 --> 0:22:32.080 savoring the experiences of my life, joyfully surrendering to spirit 0:22:32.780 --> 0:22:39.260 and effortlessly expanding my heart to all that is. When 0:22:39.280 --> 0:22:42.880 you first hear an affirmation like that, it might sound 0:22:43.050 --> 0:22:50.810 incredibly positive and jovial and like so lighthearted, right? almost ethereal. 0:22:50.950 --> 0:22:54.530 I am trusting and savoring the experiences of my life, 0:22:55.450 --> 0:23:01.669 joyfully surrendering to spirit and effortlessly expanding my heart to 0:23:02.060 --> 0:23:08.760 all that is. That sounds like the life of someone 0:23:08.859 --> 0:23:12.760 who things come very naturally to, that is able to 0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:20.260 move through chaos and challenge with happiness and acceptance and 0:23:20.340 --> 0:23:28.919 lightness of being, right? This affirmation I wrote in one 0:23:28.940 --> 0:23:32.260 of the darkest places of my life, one of the darkest, 0:23:32.340 --> 0:23:39.699 most grief-filled, challenging, unimaginable moments of my whole life. And 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:42.480 the feelings I wanted to have was that I could 0:23:42.590 --> 0:23:46.440 really trust life was that I could trust God, was 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:51.320 that I could trust myself and my choices. I wanted 0:23:51.400 --> 0:23:54.640 to be able to come into experiences, even if they 0:23:54.720 --> 0:23:59.710 were challenging, and find a way to savor any morsels 0:24:00.170 --> 0:24:04.550 of teaching or goodness or light or service that could 0:24:04.570 --> 0:24:09.869 be found in them. I wanted to reorient my relationship 0:24:09.930 --> 0:24:13.350 to the word surrender. And I didn't want it to 0:24:13.630 --> 0:24:17.790 always feel like a falling on my knees, face pressed 0:24:17.850 --> 0:24:23.570 against the ground, raw in agony type of surrender. I 0:24:24.190 --> 0:24:27.600 wanted it to feel like something I could do with 0:24:27.859 --> 0:24:31.060 one deep breath, with the twinkle of an eye, with 0:24:31.100 --> 0:24:35.200 the hand holding on the heart, with an opening of 0:24:36.560 --> 0:24:43.139 the full pure potentiality that's available in uncertainty. And I 0:24:43.180 --> 0:24:48.040 wanted to be able to keep my heart open effortlessly 0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:52.920 and keep it growing and stretching and expanding and radiating 0:24:53.020 --> 0:24:57.030 with openness to any and everything that I met on 0:24:57.140 --> 0:25:01.189 my path. So when I explain it this way, you 0:25:01.230 --> 0:25:04.390 can understand that this was not about rainbows and puppies. 0:25:04.490 --> 0:25:09.210 This was not about using positivity to bypass or, um, 0:25:11.710 --> 0:25:16.520 dissociate from anything real or hard that was happening but 0:25:16.560 --> 0:25:20.200 I wanted to give myself a deeper faith and a 0:25:20.240 --> 0:25:23.920 deeper connection to the moment I was in and find 0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:28.310 a way to experience it no matter how challenging it 0:25:28.369 --> 0:25:35.410 was experience it in a way that there could still 0:25:35.450 --> 0:25:41.780 be beauty in it there could still be divine miraculous 0:25:41.859 --> 0:25:45.520 nature to its unfolding that even if it was tears 0:25:45.600 --> 0:25:50.560 today it could be crying with still an open expectant 0:25:50.700 --> 0:25:56.060 faithful heart to tomorrow and that both were equally valuable 0:25:56.119 --> 0:25:59.919 the today and the tomorrow the past the today and 0:25:59.940 --> 0:26:05.369 the tomorrow and so reading that again I My words 0:26:05.430 --> 0:26:08.250 that I chose in this season were trust. And so 0:26:08.290 --> 0:26:11.020 I expanded that word into trusting to fit what I 0:26:11.060 --> 0:26:17.600 was writing. It was savor. It was joy. It was surrender. 0:26:17.619 --> 0:26:26.340 And I believe it was expansion. But I'll say it 0:26:26.380 --> 0:26:30.639 again here. I am trusting and savoring the experiences of 0:26:30.680 --> 0:26:36.169 my life. joyfully surrendering to spirit and effortlessly expanding my 0:26:36.230 --> 0:26:38.970 heart to all that is. So if you're in a 0:26:39.010 --> 0:26:41.630 part of your journey, and I really, God, I just 0:26:41.770 --> 0:26:44.190 really recommend this for everyone, even if you don't think 0:26:44.230 --> 0:26:47.560 you're a writer, even if you feel uncomfortable doing things 0:26:47.600 --> 0:27:01.879 that maybe feel this sincere or feel this emotional, or 0:27:01.980 --> 0:27:05.419 feel maybe even this precious, right? I think for some, 0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:08.220 something like this could even feel, I don't have a 0:27:08.240 --> 0:27:11.800 better word for this, but maybe like too girly or 0:27:11.859 --> 0:27:15.420 too sweet or too sensitive or whatever, whatever it feels 0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:18.520 like for any of us, right? Notice what your barrier 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:21.600 to it is. Notice when your eye roll happens. Notice 0:27:21.619 --> 0:27:25.090 when the rejection comes in or notice when the longing, 0:27:25.200 --> 0:27:29.000 the yearning to do and feel and have something like this, 0:27:29.080 --> 0:27:31.960 to speak to yourself in this way, to feel yourself 0:27:32.040 --> 0:27:37.360 this way. However it's pushing and churning and poking and prodding, 0:27:37.760 --> 0:27:40.720 just notice it, just observe it and see what that 0:27:40.810 --> 0:27:44.810 tells you. So as you approach an exercise like this, 0:27:46.130 --> 0:27:49.330 and it's important to also know when one feels complete, 0:27:49.869 --> 0:27:52.429 when you've been saying it and reading it to yourself, 0:27:54.260 --> 0:27:56.919 to a point where it actually clicks into place and 0:27:56.940 --> 0:28:00.859 you're like, oh wow, the experiences I'm having in my 0:28:00.940 --> 0:28:04.870