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Speaker 1: The Fresh Show is on Stay or Go, all right,

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Speaker 1: so it's like group therapy here. None of us are licensed.

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Speaker 1: I have to say that legally. Every week we're giving advice,

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Speaker 1: but it's, you know, just kind of whatever. What you

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Speaker 1: don't think our advice is kind of whatever?

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Speaker 2: This is funny way to this card. We're gonna do this,

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Speaker 2: but it's whatever.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you should take what we're saying with a

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Speaker 3: grain of salt.

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Speaker 1: You know you should. I mean, my advice is stellar,

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Speaker 1: but as far as everybody else, I can't speak of

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Speaker 1: a Hi Savannah, Savannah.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Hey, good morning.

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Speaker 1: No, Kiki is a judge, so she obviously knows what

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Speaker 1: she's talking about. And I'm very good at telling other

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Speaker 1: people what to do in their relationships, and I'm a

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Speaker 1: complete and total imbecile when it comes to my own,

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Speaker 1: like honestly, samam, which is why I'm going. Sure, you're

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Speaker 1: glad you're called, but like you called, but I'm an idiot,

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Speaker 1: Like I do the dumbest I picked, I hate the

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Speaker 1: worst I do. I mean, it's just awful anyway, So

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Speaker 1: let me tell you how to live your life. What's

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Speaker 1: going on with this? I uh, I guess I don't

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Speaker 1: have his name here, I'm looking at a Christian. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: that's your religion.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm looking. I'm looking at the notes.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at the notes, and usually I have the

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Speaker 1: person's name. I don't think I do hear. So you're

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Speaker 1: getting engaged I know that, or you're engaging getting married?

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Speaker 3: Then? What?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're getting married.

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Speaker 1: The man's name is Christian Christian and he is a Christian.

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Speaker 1: A Christian I don't know, right, no, and it makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes we have the name in here and sometimes we don't.

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Speaker 1: But his name is Christian and he's a Christian.

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Speaker 3: He observes Christian.

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Speaker 5: What can't.

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Speaker 3: That's your religion, so you can.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, Savannah tells is going on, Please save just

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Speaker 1: save me from this.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead.

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Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's kind of an nickname because so

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Speaker 4: we're getting married in about a year from now.

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Speaker 1: And congratulations to Christian and Christian.

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Speaker 4: And out of nowhere, I guess Christian decided Christian could

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Speaker 4: be celibate until the wedding, and I like, he kind

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Speaker 4: of told me completely out of the blue, and I

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Speaker 4: don't know. I was like, I'm in shock.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So so you, Savannah, are to be married in

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Speaker 1: maybe a year or so, you think. And you've been

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Speaker 1: dating this guy for a little while, and I I

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Speaker 1: just need to clarify, you have been intimate with him

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Speaker 1: up until this point.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 4: Mean neither of us have really ever been religious. We're

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Speaker 4: kind of raised loosely Christian, but that's not been you know,

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Speaker 4: a part of our relationship. Okay, yeah, it's never been

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Speaker 4: on like on the table at all.

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Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, this guy goes, hey,

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Speaker 1: we're geting married in a year. I have an idea,

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Speaker 1: let's stop with the physical part of our relationship and

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Speaker 1: let's like, I guess, save ourselves for marriage, even though

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Speaker 1: that's not how it works, but let's just not until then.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and it's not just a celigacy thing. But

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Speaker 4: he also said that he wants to start like practicing

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Speaker 4: our faith and prioritizing that, which is like, it doesn't

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Speaker 4: seem like him. I've never seen him go to church

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Speaker 4: like ever.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so obviously you guys have been intimate for all

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Speaker 1: this time. So then now the thought of stopping that

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Speaker 1: for a year, it's like, well, that's not ideal, because

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Speaker 1: you know, people enjoy those sorts of activities and you've

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Speaker 1: been doing them, so.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, dog, I think it's really important in our relationship, right,

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Speaker 4: But then to stop now for religious reasons and again

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Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not a theologian.

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Speaker 3: Which surprises a lot of people. I'm not. I actually am. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 3: he never gave theologian. I don't think that.

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Speaker 1: Someone just this is the text of the day. Someone

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Speaker 1: just texted today is giving Golf of America. It is

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Speaker 1: like we've officially just lost it. Like it's just But

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. I don't think it's ever

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Speaker 1: not given Golf of America around. I feel like, if

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Speaker 1: it's not one thing, it's another. But I guess my

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Speaker 1: thing is, it's not as though you can just I mean,

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Speaker 1: I get, I get maybe he's trying to refocus on

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Speaker 1: his faith because you're getting married, maybe getting married in

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Speaker 1: the church or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But I don't think that's how it works.

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Speaker 1: Like, I don't actually think if you just stop now

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Speaker 1: that when you do go in a year, God's like

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Speaker 1: I didn't see anything, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 1: I think it's fine. You know, I checked in in

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Speaker 1: the last six months to a year and no Shenanigans,

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Speaker 1: So it's all good.

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Speaker 3: I don't think that's how this works.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I we know where this came from, and I'm

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know if like I'm overreacting

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Speaker 4: to this and just need to like talk it out

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Speaker 4: with him, or if it's like kind of a red

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Speaker 4: flag because we used to seem on the same page

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Speaker 4: and I don't know.

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Speaker 1: So he's just cutting you off a year before you

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Speaker 1: get married, Huh.

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Speaker 6: This is not a problem, like the girl literally yes

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Speaker 6: that okay.

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Speaker 1: Well, I just got a text from Timothy, your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Not but you're single. But we've already heard this before. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and if you haven't heard, if you haven't heard Teeky's

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Speaker 1: theory about she's not married, so she's technically single even

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Speaker 1: though this man lives in her home with her. And Okay,

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Speaker 1: so he just texted me and said a ring is coming. Okay,

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Speaker 1: except he's cutting you off for a year.

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Speaker 6: Okay, that's fine. I think what this man has made

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Speaker 6: intention to marry her. He wants her to be his wife,

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Speaker 6: and they've been cooking up all this time, so maybe

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Speaker 6: he's trying to see if he can connect with her

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Speaker 6: on a deeper level than just sex.

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Speaker 1: So he's like Listen, shouldn't they have figured that out

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Speaker 1: already they're getting married.

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Speaker 6: Hold on, but that doesn't mean that he just he

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Speaker 6: probably wants to have Like one day they won't be

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Speaker 6: able to have sex. It might not work anymore, and

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Speaker 6: so he won't make sure when it's not hidden. I

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Speaker 6: still love you, I still want to be with you,

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Speaker 6: I still enjoy you.

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Speaker 3: People, if they're engaged, should be married, like he should

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Speaker 3: have already figured that part out.

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Speaker 6: When they're not doing it, people's perception gets blurry sometimes

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Speaker 6: when you humping, okay, when he out here having sex

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Speaker 6: with each other sometimes.

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Speaker 3: As opposed to with yourself.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, your mind can get cloudy sometimes because of the

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Speaker 6: way they putting it down. You gotta see if you

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Speaker 6: still like a person outside of sex.

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Speaker 7: But I can tell that when I'm talking to them

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Speaker 7: and not doing it, you know, or whatever.

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Speaker 6: He might feel differently. He might be like, it's bro,

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Speaker 6: it's so good. I want to marry you, right, honest,

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Speaker 6: I need to see if I still like you outside

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Speaker 6: of that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Ki, but to me,

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Speaker 1: it feels like he's trying to fake the funk. To me,

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Speaker 1: it feels like he's trying to all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: be like pious, like all of a sudden. It's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, because Jason and I were raised cat like right,

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Speaker 1: and we were weird. We were supposed to have stain

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Speaker 1: and we were supposed to do all these things, which

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Speaker 1: I didn't do by choice until the age of twenty

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Speaker 1: two or anything, or twenty one. Actually I abstained by

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Speaker 1: it absolutely by choice. It was not certainly wasn't.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you had that ring for.

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Speaker 1: Lack of opportunity, but because nobody wanted to But no,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, it was. They were just banging the door down,

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Speaker 1: but I chose not to.

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Speaker 3: Uh he said, no, don't touch.

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Speaker 1: No. But but like I just don't think it works

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Speaker 1: that way, Like I don't think you can Just to me,

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Speaker 1: what he's trying to do is make himself feel better

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Speaker 1: somehow about everything he's done in the past, because somehow,

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Speaker 1: if he just hit reset now, then I don't know,

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Speaker 1: then it's like it never happened or something that doesn't

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Speaker 1: the dean has been done. Okay, I don't I don't

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Speaker 1: think that just now. And if you don't know the

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Speaker 1: person well enough, or if you're masked by the physical activity,

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Speaker 1: then maybe you shouldn't have gotten engaged. I cannot believe

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Speaker 1: you don't think he's getting it somewhere else, right, what

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Speaker 1: it feels like to me. It feels to me like

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Speaker 1: maybe he Savannah. I don't mean to put this out there,

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Speaker 1: but it's almost like it's almost like he did something

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Speaker 1: bad and maybe he's got something going on he's trying

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Speaker 1: to resolve, or.

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Speaker 6: Who wakes up and says that, Like, I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: Know something is up. Something is up, Savannah, and I

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Speaker 1: need to get to the bottom of mask. I think

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Speaker 1: you should. I definitely think this is This is raising

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Speaker 1: red flags to me, and it's something that should be

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Speaker 1: investigated because he could even he could say to you,

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Speaker 1: he could explain it to you and be like, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: I really I feel like I want to sort of

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Speaker 1: get back in touch with my faith and get in

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Speaker 1: touch with myself and like I and it would be

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Speaker 1: really maybe it would be more special if we But

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Speaker 1: he hasn't really given you any explanation, right, He's just like, well,

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Speaker 1: we're getting married in a church and I want to

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Speaker 1: be more religious, so we're not doing it anymore.

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Speaker 3: He's taking meds for something, he caught something, and he's

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Speaker 3: that's what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking he's gonna wait to tell her that he's

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Speaker 1: got something that's not going to go away until they

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Speaker 1: get married. And then once they're married, then he's like,

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Speaker 1: by the way, bad news, but we're married.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: I just's going on, Savannah. But let me take some Yeah,

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Speaker 1: go ahead. I'm sorry, go ahead.

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Speaker 6: I'm more nervous than it was before.

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Speaker 1: This is why I said, pursuit your own risk. But

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Speaker 1: there's something going on. But let me. I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: some phone calls on this, Savannah, and and let's see

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Speaker 1: what's going on and see what people have to say.

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Speaker 1: But you have the radio on or iHeart or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for calling in for being patient with us,

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Speaker 1: because it's just been a day and a week and

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Speaker 1: a month. It really has a series of months. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: I have a great day, Savannah.

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Speaker 3: Get some blood work done.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, what's your doctor's name?

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Speaker 3: Who I meant doctor Dr Mike, doctor Mike. Carry this

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Speaker 3: that's my homide. He's my onecologist as well. Doctor Mike

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Speaker 3: Mike is a home Yeah, he is. I like the guy.

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Speaker 1: I trust him my life. No, I liked him if

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Speaker 1: I if I were I would. If I were a woman,

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Speaker 1: I would go, you would go three five? What Jason?

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Speaker 2: I don't believe you putting STDs on this man. Don't

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Speaker 2: you just want to do like a fresh start every time.

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna forget We've been doing for years.

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Speaker 8: It's not about forgetting it. It's just about what's gonna

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Speaker 8: make you feel good and want to like, Okay, we're

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Speaker 8: just gonna like try something like. I don't necessarily mean

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Speaker 8: that he has an STD.

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Speaker 2: I don't know you were good. No, but that's not

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Speaker 2: my choice. That wouldn't make me feel good or refreshed.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he's different.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I don't know. Hey, coach coach Mason,

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Speaker 1: Well we get how you doing?

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Speaker 4: Sorry, hey, hour you guys do it.

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Speaker 5: I am coach Mason. I'm a behavior therapist here in

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Speaker 5: the South suburbs of Chicago.

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Speaker 3: Fantastic, we have an actual licensed individual. Go ahead, Oh

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Speaker 3: we do I think that one.

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Speaker 5: All of this justtions you've given her a great yes,

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Speaker 5: go get checked out medically. I think it's wonderful when

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Speaker 5: people have spiritual epiphanies and they, you know, choose to

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Speaker 5: make themselves better, you know, through religion. In addition to

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Speaker 5: that I think also making sure that he hasn't had

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Speaker 5: like the rapid onset of like some underlying psychological issue

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Speaker 5: that she may not know about. I come from a

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Speaker 5: family that is severely impacted by mental health issues, and

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Speaker 5: the rapid switch of like going religious or being hyper

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Speaker 5: religious is sympematic of a couple of different mood disorders

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Speaker 5: that could be going on. So just making sure that

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Speaker 5: she truly does know the person that you know she loves,

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Speaker 5: and that she knows his history and his family history,

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Speaker 5: and if there's a likelihood that this could be related

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Speaker 5: to something else, not that people don't you know, find

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Speaker 5: the Lord or you know, uh, get involved and make

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Speaker 5: themselves better once we become older and we're getting ready

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Speaker 5: to have big life changes, but just making sure that

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Speaker 5: it's not something else that's going on that maybe she

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Speaker 5: does that know about it.

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Speaker 1: And Coach Mason all jokes aside. I do think there's

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Speaker 1: something to the fact that this just hit him all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden that you pointed out, like, I feel

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Speaker 1: like this is something that you might discuss over time,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm really thinking of it. Like people

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Speaker 1: who just wake up one day and go I'm religious

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Speaker 1: now and we're not doing this, then the other thing, okay,

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Speaker 1: But like if you're in a year's long relationship with someone,

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Speaker 1: I feel like it might be something that is like,

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Speaker 1: you know, hey, maybe months ago she would have heard like,

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Speaker 1: have you you ever thought maybe we like what if

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Speaker 1: we were to abstain until we got married kind of

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Speaker 1: like hey, I don't know, or maybe we should start

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Speaker 1: going to the church more because we're going to be

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Speaker 1: getting married in the church, and it would be more

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Speaker 1: authentic if we were like really in touch with our spirituality.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like that's something that you would discuss

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Speaker 1: over time. You wouldn't just wake up one day and go, hey,

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Speaker 1: none of that until we get married in about a

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Speaker 1: year or so.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, you know, because and we.

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Speaker 5: Need to get like super involved in this new thing

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Speaker 5: that I decided to.

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Speaker 2: Wake up and do yesterday.

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Speaker 9: So I want to make sure there's nothing else.

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Speaker 3: Going on there. Yeah, Coach Mason, thank you, have a

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Speaker 3: good day. Thank you guys, and thank you for listening. Francis, Francis,

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Speaker 3: you agree with Kiki. Thank you finally.

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Speaker 10: Very much much, Thank you, frank There will be a

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Speaker 10: time that is, hopefully if they're getting married forever, that

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Speaker 10: they won't be able to have sex. Don't you want

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Speaker 10: to have a deeper connection? Now, don't you want to

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Speaker 10: know somebody to the level that you all don't have

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Speaker 10: to be physically intimate to be intimate. I think that's

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Speaker 10: beautiful that he loves her enough. So let's wait. No,

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Speaker 10: I do believe they should have had a discussion. But

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Speaker 10: the fact that she has to call a radio station

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Speaker 10: instead of talking to him is saying a lot. Well, now,

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Speaker 10: hold on a second, I would have talked to my fiance.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, and also, like.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, let's say it wasn't religious

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Speaker 1: and somebody called up here and said, yeah, my fiance

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Speaker 1: just won't sleep with me anymore like that, that would

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Speaker 1: that would indicate some sort of lack of connection or

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Speaker 1: some sort of guilt or some sort of deeper issue.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It just to me, it seems so sudden and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't and it just seems like a real It almost

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Speaker 1: feels like a reaction to something else.

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Speaker 3: But what is that thing? I don't know.

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Speaker 10: But on the fact what you said, the fact what

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Speaker 10: you said, it's not like he's like, oh, I didn't

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Speaker 10: see you all have sex, that's why you can repent. Yes,

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Speaker 10: we have sex before, but now we're taking we're.

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Speaker 3: Taking this out, We're reaching.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I just feel like it's beautiful enough to take ta.

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Speaker 3: I do love you, Francis. But here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I could possibly repent. Like like God

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Speaker 1: and I have a nice relationship. I am.

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Speaker 3: I am a spiritual person.

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Speaker 4: I do.

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Speaker 1: But he he knows we're at a point. We're at

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Speaker 1: a point now where he's just like I got it, okay,

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Speaker 1: Like we're moving forward. We're we're on to Pittsburgh, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, like Bill Belichick, We're moving on

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Speaker 1: to New York.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Francis, have a good day.

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Speaker 9: Thank you you too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know about that, but it's a sweet sentiment.

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Speaker 4: It is.

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Speaker 1: But I also think again, I think it's something you discuss.

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Speaker 1: It's a some you'd come to together, and he would

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Speaker 1: communicate exactly what Because if I'm dating somebody and or

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Speaker 1: I'm engaged them or whatever, and they come to me

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Speaker 1: one day and say we're not sleeping together anymore, just

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Speaker 1: like that, there is something going on.

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Speaker 3: He didn't say anymore. He said until the wedding, well

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Speaker 3: basically anymore, because year a year I suppose no.

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Speaker 1: Jennifer, Hi, Yes, right, Hi, how are you? Good morning,

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Speaker 1: Jennifer welcome. What did you want to say?

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Speaker 7: I just want to say she needs to go. I

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Speaker 7: mean the fact that she needs to even call in

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Speaker 7: and ask about this, Like, no one wakes up one morning,

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Speaker 7: especially when they're that they're not religious, to say that

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Speaker 7: they want to follow this. It's not like they're taking

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Speaker 7: marriage classes with their pastor and their pastor's advising this,

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Speaker 7: Like she needs to look deeper. He's just not into

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Speaker 7: her anymore, sadly, and I think he's just needing some

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Speaker 7: kind of excuse to kind of not be physical with

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Speaker 7: her right now. And she's just she knows her everyone

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Speaker 7: has a good feeling. She's a woman, she knows That's

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Speaker 7: why she called it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And Jennifer, the only time in relationships that I've

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Speaker 1: ever been like no more of that is when something

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Speaker 1: is very disconnected. The only because otherwise I'm in a

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Speaker 1: relationship with you. We're going to commit a relationship, Like

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Speaker 1: that's a perk, right if you choose to do that,

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Speaker 1: if that's what you're into, you know, and I realize

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Speaker 1: people feel different, Well, no, I mean you're into but

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Speaker 1: I realized that people feel differently, and people have different

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Speaker 1: religious beliefs, and people do have stain or I mean

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Speaker 1: celibate and all that.

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Speaker 3: But again like that and it's all good.

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Speaker 1: But like if I'm in a relationship and I'm just

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Speaker 1: like I don't, that's not a part of the relationship.

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Speaker 1: I want to explore right now, then something's wrong and

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Speaker 1: we got to figure out what it is. And instead

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Speaker 1: of talking about it, he's just saying, Jennifer, thank you

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Speaker 1: for calling.

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Speaker 3: Of course, you have a good day.

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Speaker 1: If someone when that's Shawnie, Shanny, you went to me

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Speaker 1: the same thing I did. Okay, So what happened?

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Speaker 9: So my spouse all of a sudden wanted to go

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Speaker 9: to church and want to do not necessarily be slivant,

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Speaker 9: but I wanted to do more Christian like things. And

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Speaker 9: come to find out, it was because her girlfriend is

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Speaker 9: very religious. Her her girlfriend. Yeah, so I was married

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Speaker 9: to a woman. I was actually on stair though I

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Speaker 9: was the fake cheater.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, okay, okay.

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Speaker 9: So she was actually cheating and her girlfriend is very religious,

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Speaker 9: comes from a very religious house family, and that she

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Speaker 9: be religious. She wanted to appease her girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: I see, Okay, so in this case, she wasn't doing

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Speaker 1: it necessarily for her own religious stand She was doing

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Speaker 1: it for the person who she was cheating on you with.

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Speaker 9: Right and now that we're divorced, she is and she

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Speaker 9: goes to church and she ties, and she's everything. She

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Speaker 9: is like everything for this essentially the fortress that she has.

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Speaker 3: We've met her, we've met you before. Yeah, I was

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Speaker 3: at the meet and green. Yeah, you're fine at now,

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Speaker 3: You'll be fine. Don't worry about.

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Speaker 1: It else, She'll be totally fine.

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Speaker 3: I remember her. I'm about to text my boyfriend and

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Speaker 3: see how he reacts. Oh, yes, I would love to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I want you to text Shane and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know what the problem is. He knows you're with

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Speaker 1: a bunch of clowns right now, so he But if you're.

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Speaker 3: Like, hey, you know what, what should I say? I

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Speaker 3: want to be closer to this.

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Speaker 1: Kekey wants to take me to church this weekend, and

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Speaker 1: she was suggesting that maybe I need to abstain if

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Speaker 1: I'm truly going to embrace you know what I'm experiencing.

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Speaker 1: And I just wanted to know how you feel about that.

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Speaker 3: Okay. I knew she wasn't a real friend he wants

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Speaker 3: to start taking me to church.