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Speaker 1: Hi guys, Hi guys, it's Jackie and Jen Fessler. I

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Speaker 1: always say Jen Fessler, well, because there's also another gen. Well,

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Speaker 1: not this room and not on this post, on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: But I think you're used to being in our I

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Speaker 2: guess work family with another gen.

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Speaker 1: So fair enough, whatever you are, Jen Fesler on that baby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and we are two Jersey Jays. We have a

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Speaker 2: really really great shophy you today. I'm so excited.

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Speaker 1: But but but first, before that, we can't just ignore

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Speaker 1: the large not even a pink elephant? Is it a

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Speaker 1: black elephant?

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Speaker 2: And I don't know it's pink elephant in the room

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Speaker 2: a thing. I think. I don't think that's a thing.

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Speaker 2: I think it's just the elephant in the room. What

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Speaker 2: don't think it's a pink elephant.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, I've talked about the trailer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the trailer. Can I tell you something. This is

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Speaker 2: my sixth year, my sixth trailer drop.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was more than that. Are you sure now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is my sixth year and I still get

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Speaker 2: a pit in my stomach.

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Speaker 1: I think you're the only one because I was besides me,

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Speaker 1: I was like really nervous about it and I felt

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Speaker 1: like no nobody else was.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't think I'm the only one.

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Speaker 1: There's no way because we see it.

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Speaker 2: When everyone else sees it. They don't send us the

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Speaker 2: trailer first. You know why they don't send us the

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Speaker 2: trailer first, I think is because in years past it's leaked,

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Speaker 2: like there's there's no way to get this trailer and

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Speaker 2: keep it all to yourself, right, you know, so it's leaked,

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Speaker 2: and so I think to avoid that, they don't send

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Speaker 2: it to anybody anymore. So we see it when the

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Speaker 2: world sees it. So if something is you know, if

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Speaker 2: they put in a part about like something that you

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Speaker 2: can consider really embarrassing, it's over.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I actually watched it. I wouldn't watch it.

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Speaker 1: I wanted Jeff to watch it, and well, Rachel, my daughter,

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Speaker 1: watched it. And then, like you know, a couple of

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Speaker 1: our PR people or whatever, I was like, I have

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Speaker 1: to just know what I'm going to be staring at.

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Speaker 1: I think that the nerves for me, so I was

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Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. I guess I was. Maybe

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Speaker 1: I was more nervous last year, but because it was

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Speaker 1: my first season. But it's this thing where you know,

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Speaker 1: after the last season, my response at least, I felt

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Speaker 1: like the response that I got was is mainly positive.

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Speaker 1: Of course, nobody's ever gonna you're never gonna get everybody

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Speaker 1: liking you. There's always gonna be haters. But basically I

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Speaker 1: got a lot of love. I got a lot of like,

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Speaker 1: you know, nice sort of like Gen you're funny, Gen

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Speaker 1: You're you know, a breath of fresh air like this

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Speaker 1: really nice feedback. Again, not all good feedback, but I

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Speaker 1: when you're in that place where you're coming from, Okay, Wow,

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Speaker 1: I did good for me, and I fight this. I'm

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Speaker 1: just waiting for the fall. So I'm nervous that I'm gonna,

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Speaker 1: you know, not just the trailer, but watch the season,

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Speaker 1: and nobody's gonna like me.

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Speaker 2: I think that's natural, but I don't think that's true.

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Speaker 2: I think you're me. It's not just funny, and.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe not maybe the season I won't

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Speaker 1: be well liked, but like that's this is just a

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Speaker 1: whole separate issue. But watching it, I think that's why

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Speaker 1: I'm nervous. It's like I want everybody to like me,

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Speaker 1: and like, regardless, yeah, not everybody's going to and maybe

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Speaker 1: people want this season I have to like, but if

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Speaker 1: you are in a good place with yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're also in a pretty good place with everybody.

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Speaker 1: Like I know, it's not even just that though, because

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Speaker 1: you can be in a good place with Cass and

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Speaker 1: still you're.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Did you like the trailer.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was funny. I thought it was light,

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Speaker 1: but it was also like I think, I thought it

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Speaker 1: dropped those little like tidbits very well in those little

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Speaker 1: little spoilers and teasers. Yeah, Like if I was a

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Speaker 1: y yar, i'd want to be excited for this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which also gives me like anxiety because now I

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Speaker 2: like want people to see how everything happens, because now

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Speaker 2: people are you know, oh, Jackie, you know is doing

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Speaker 2: things too. First of all, let me clear up something

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Speaker 2: the whole Jackie is doing, you know, switching teams to

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Speaker 2: save her job. Okay, I am very very clear on

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Speaker 2: the fact that I am a friend, Like I am

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Speaker 2: not like delusional, like I know what my job is.

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Speaker 2: I'm a friend, and I am fully okay with that.

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Speaker 2: Like took a little bit, but I am fully okay

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Speaker 2: with it. I like it. Like it's not to say

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Speaker 2: like that I wouldn't be open to other things, but

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Speaker 2: like I like it, and I know I don't need

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Speaker 2: to jump teams and you know, jump through hoops and

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Speaker 2: you know, set myself on fire to save my job.

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Speaker 2: Like I can just be like a good supporting actor,

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Speaker 2: like I'm good, you know, Like I don't think that

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Speaker 2: I have to go crazy to save my job. So

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Speaker 2: nothing that I do is based on, oh god, I

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Speaker 2: have to be the best friend in the whole world

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Speaker 2: in order to save my job. And I actually don't

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Speaker 2: think it really works like that. I don't think if I,

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Speaker 2: like have a really big part of the season that

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Speaker 2: next season, like I would be a housewife. I think actually,

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Speaker 2: if I'm a fantastic friend, it's even you know, more

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Speaker 2: reason for them to say, Okay, great, say a friend. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: I saw Marisol say on the reunion maybe it was

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Speaker 1: last night, No, no, she's being interviewed anyway, and they

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Speaker 1: were asking her like, do you are you okay? Maybe

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Speaker 1: it's even Hammer and Teddy Like yeah, I think it

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Speaker 1: was Teddy, how do you feel about being a friend?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to be, you know, a house wife?

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Speaker 1: What do they hold a mahido? Yeah or whatever? So

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Speaker 1: She's like, well, I mean I'd like to be paid

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Speaker 1: like a housewife, but like it sounds like she was

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Speaker 1: absolutely yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I think that people don't want to believe that

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Speaker 2: because like I think that there's this like this misconception

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Speaker 2: of like how could you not want it all? Like

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Speaker 2: how could you not want all the fame and all

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Speaker 2: the spotlight and all the money?

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Speaker 1: You like, those sometimes forget this is we're getting off

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Speaker 1: on a tank. But like, don't you feel like as

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Speaker 1: a friend you forget like factor out money or anything else,

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Speaker 1: but like you kind of do get it all in

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Speaker 1: a different way, Like and I know you have spoken

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Speaker 1: to me specifically about like opening up your home and

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Speaker 1: your family to cameras, you know, and now the difference

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Speaker 1: you know, not having to do that and still being

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Speaker 1: able to be involved is you know, like a gift

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Speaker 1: it is, and.

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Speaker 2: You know it's also I mean, there's great stuff on

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Speaker 2: both sides. If it happens again for me, like I'm

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Speaker 2: sure my family would be open to it, But it's

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Speaker 2: much easier for me now to film the show, to

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Speaker 2: give it everything that I have, and to not have

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Speaker 2: to say to my family, hey, cancel all your plans.

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Speaker 2: You have to be home to film the scene, or

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Speaker 2: to say to Evan, you don't have to come to

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Speaker 2: this today, do you want to come? And sometimes he

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Speaker 2: really wants to come. But when he doesn't want to come,

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Speaker 2: or when he has work, like I don't have to

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Speaker 2: make him skip anything, he doesn't have to be involved.

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Speaker 2: And for me, that works for me right now, right now,

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Speaker 2: that works for me. But speaking of husbands being involved,

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Speaker 2: I am strongly of the opinion that I know Jersey

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Speaker 2: husbands have a bigger role than in other franchises, but

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Speaker 2: don't I don't love seeing husbands so heavily involved in

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Speaker 2: the drama. I don't like when husbands fight with wives.

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Speaker 1: I don believe this is all you baby, go right right.

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like, when Evan was very heavily involved

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Speaker 2: in the drama, which he did not want any part of,

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Speaker 2: he never fought with anybody on camera. He never yelled anybody.

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Speaker 2: He's never fought with anyone. It's just not his style.

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Speaker 2: He never yelled at anybody. He never you know. And

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Speaker 2: when it was time to resolve that drauma, he was

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Speaker 2: such a gentleman. He was very open to it and

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Speaker 2: he just wanted things to go back to common. You know,

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Speaker 2: when I'm saying like I don't love seeing husbands like

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Speaker 2: really put themselves right in the center. This is a

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Speaker 2: show for your wife.

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Speaker 1: Well, j Listen Jersey has traditionally been known right as

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Speaker 1: like this, we are the family franchise. Yeah, of course

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Speaker 1: it's everybody's involved, and of course you know Joe Gorga

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Speaker 1: has made such an impact.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and he's maybe a little dire, but he also

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Speaker 2: he doesn't like I don't know, maybe maybe Joe Gorga

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Speaker 2: is different, but like the other husbands, I don't really

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Speaker 2: feel like like they are definitely present. And that's great

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Speaker 2: and I love the husbands on this show them, but

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Speaker 2: I don't like seeing a husband actively like go after

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Speaker 2: a wife. But that's just me.

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Speaker 1: We don't worry about Jeff Fessler. I don't think he's

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Speaker 1: he loves, he loves all of this, which everybody like,

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Speaker 1: no one can really understand or believe. Jeff's so I'm

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Speaker 1: so a nice crazy housewife person. But you're never gonna

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Speaker 1: have to worry about him fighting with anyone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I thought the trailer was great. I am

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Speaker 2: eager for people to see how everything comes about, because

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Speaker 2: there's no part of it that's about me, like trying

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Speaker 2: to save my job, like, I'm sure my job is fine.

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Speaker 2: I just you know, like it does happen very organically

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Speaker 2: and hasn't this hit but historically been on the show

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Speaker 2: for so long, don't people always look at like want

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Speaker 2: to know your motive and it's not maybe what your

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Speaker 2: actual motive is, like are and people you tell me, oh,

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Speaker 2: there's so many theories, but you know, so I watch it.

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Speaker 2: I actually had to pull over because I was driving

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Speaker 2: when it when it dropped, and uh, I said to Aiden,

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Speaker 2: I was taking it into a doctor's appointment. I said,

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Speaker 2: do you mind if I pull over and watch this

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Speaker 2: because the anticipation was just killing me. And after I

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Speaker 2: watched it the first time and I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm totally fine with the way I'm portrayed in the trailer.

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Speaker 2: Then I watched it a second time to see how

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Speaker 2: I look physically in the trailer, and I'm gorgeous. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: my face is all hot and red. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to be friends with whoever I want, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: my face is all red and like, of course you pick.

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Speaker 1: Yourself course, but I have to well, I'm being completely

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Speaker 1: honest and not humble at all. I actually thought to myself, well,

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Speaker 1: you do look better than.

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Speaker 2: Last year myself. Certainly they spend enough money to make

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Speaker 2: that happen. By walking filter, I think you look so

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Speaker 2: I get carried away now.

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Speaker 1: But that definitely was one of the things that I

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Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well, if anything, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: this is all going to go down, but I think

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Speaker 1: I look better.

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Speaker 2: You looks good, fantastic. Anyway, it's going to be a great,

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Speaker 2: great season. I'm excited. Me to our topic for today, guys,

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Speaker 2: is you say it?

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, so I'll say it, but I want to

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Speaker 1: say kind of why.

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Speaker 2: We picked today our topic.

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Speaker 1: We're going to entitle this one bucket or fuck it,

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Speaker 1: meaning like bucket list items maybe that we had when

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Speaker 1: we were younger. What are our bucket list items now?

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Speaker 1: Things that we thought we had to do in our

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Speaker 1: lifetime that we look at now and we think, oh

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Speaker 1: my god. I can't believe I even thought that was important.

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Speaker 1: But the idea came to us. I was watching Naiad.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys have see Niad, but

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Speaker 1: it's this I want to say. It's on Netflix. Anette

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Speaker 1: Benning and Jodie Foster, this movie about this woman Diana

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Speaker 1: Niad who swam from from Cuba to maybe like Key West,

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Speaker 1: and so it's this amazing story. She tried and tried

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Speaker 1: and by the time she was sixty she actually got

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Speaker 1: it done. But it was like talk about like a

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Speaker 1: bucket list. Like she was like, I just want to

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Speaker 1: do something in my lifetime that no one else has done.

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Speaker 1: And I'm watching this and this woman is so driven

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Speaker 1: by that, and I'm thinking, first of all, that is

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Speaker 1: the worst bucket list item that I could even ever imagine.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine wanting to do anything less than swim.

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Speaker 2: But I don't get that at all.

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Speaker 1: And as a matter of fact, like I've got a

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Speaker 1: friend who recently we were talking about this and I

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Speaker 1: was asking her about her bucketless things, and she's like,

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Speaker 1: I did a half marathon. I thought that was the

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Speaker 1: dumbest bucketless thing. I cannot believe I would have wasted

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Speaker 1: my time on that kind of misery. It's like, and

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Speaker 1: now today I would have never been interested. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: that is our topic.

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Speaker 2: So yes, I just want to bring up one more

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Speaker 2: thing before we start. Yes, since we are a podcast

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Speaker 2: about middle aged women, there's this new Anne Hathaway movie

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Speaker 2: have you heard of this? No, okay. It's called The

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Speaker 2: Idea of You, and it's about a woman in her

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Speaker 2: forties who takes her daughter to Coachella and the the

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Speaker 2: uh lead of a boy band falls in love with her, with.

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Speaker 1: The with the mother, with the mother who's Anne Hathaway.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'm region synopsis. Hold on, I'm so into the real.

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Speaker 2: Selene must step into chaperone her teenage daughter's trip to

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Speaker 2: Coachella after her ex bales at the last minute. She

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Speaker 2: has a chance encounter with Hayes Campbell, and there's an instant,

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Speaker 2: undeniable spark as they began a whirlwind romance. It isn't

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Speaker 2: long before hayes superstar status poses unavoidable challenges to their relationship.

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Speaker 2: So he's in his twenties and she's in her forties,

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Speaker 2: and it's a story. It's supposed to be a story

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Speaker 2: about a woman approach, a woman in her forties reclaiming

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Speaker 2: her sexuality and rediscovering herself just at the point that

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Speaker 2: society traditionally writes women off as desirable and viable.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, seriously, I mean we're gonna have to do

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Speaker 1: I think that we should do some movie and like

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Speaker 1: a deep dive.

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Speaker 2: I'll just say that, like that sounds. Of course, I

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Speaker 2: love my husband, but if they're like in an alternate universe,

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Speaker 2: if we ever got.

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Speaker 1: Divorced but every woman feels like that, I don't think

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Speaker 1: that I.

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Speaker 2: Would ever feel that fully secure in that kind of relationship.

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Speaker 2: I think I'd always feel like that person was looking

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Speaker 2: for was seeing what else is out there?

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Speaker 1: Well, I right, but I just think like the idea

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Speaker 1: of it to me, what occurred to me is simply

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Speaker 1: that like how validating in some weird way, And I mean,

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Speaker 1: how validation at this age? But like there have some

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Speaker 1: rock star on stage and a boy band. Now now

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Speaker 1: it's actually sounding gross, but like, let's they say a

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Speaker 1: boy band, Well.

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Speaker 2: They think that it's based on Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so now I have to tell this go ahead.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, do it.

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Speaker 1: So we took so my sister and I took my

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Speaker 1: daughter and my niece to one direction. So we're going

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Speaker 1: back twelve years or something. And this is like when

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Speaker 1: they had first come out, and like the little girls

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Speaker 1: were like in hysterics, and we paid for like a

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Speaker 1: VIP meeting and so first you went into this like

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Speaker 1: little auditorium with all the people that had paid for

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Speaker 1: this shit, and they did like a Q and A

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Speaker 1: so just like embarrass my kids whatever. I like, raised

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Speaker 1: my hand, I stood up and I don't remember what

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Speaker 1: I said. But then the guys started saying like stuff

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Speaker 1: like my mother don't look like that, like something that

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Speaker 1: was it was the best day of my life.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm not kidding. Wouldn't even brought it up. I

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Speaker 2: want to say, like they said something like or Harry,

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Speaker 2: your mother looked like that or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I can die now.

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Speaker 2: I can die now. And Rachel and Day based on you.

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, people are always stealing shit.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know if our audience remembers this. Remember

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Speaker 2: when Craigslist had miss connections?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't even you don't remember that.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. It was the craziest thing Craigslist. This

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Speaker 2: is a million years ago. It had this thing called

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Speaker 2: miss connections and it was like, I saw you on

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Speaker 2: the subway. You looked at me. I thought of it yesterday.

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Speaker 2: You know why. I was driving home from New York

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Speaker 2: City and I was getting on the West Side Highway

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Speaker 2: and fucking Conan O'Brien was standing having a conversation with

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Speaker 2: somebody right by the exit and I almost served my

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Speaker 2: fucking car off the road looking at him, and we

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Speaker 2: locked eyes. I swear to god, we locked eyes, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, God, if that fucking miss Connections column

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Speaker 2: was still around, I would have been checking that ship.

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Speaker 2: I mean, not to start a romance and Coda and O'Brien,

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Speaker 2: but like, just for the ad that says, were you

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Speaker 2: the crazy blonde bitch you almost run me over when

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Speaker 2: you were getting on the west side.

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Speaker 1: It was why that's I wonder why that's not here anymore?

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Speaker 1: Let's bring it, bring back misconnections. People start from that. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we have to see that movie and we have to

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Speaker 1: do a deep dive maybe for another episode. Love it.

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Speaker 2: But okay, so bucket list, So I think that where

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Speaker 2: you should start by talking about the things we wanted

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Speaker 2: when we were younger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, not just bucketless things, but things that you

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Speaker 1: were just like, because bucklets is a weird thing. Means

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Speaker 1: before I die, I want to do this, Yeah, maybe,

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Speaker 1: but maybe sort of more encompass. Encompass, like what we

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Speaker 1: really wanted to do or what we wanted to have, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what we wanted to do and have now you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the things that.

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Speaker 2: We really thought would fulfill us. Right, well, I think

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Speaker 2: do you remember? You know, we're a few years apart.

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Speaker 2: But when I was a kid in elementary school, the

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Speaker 2: biggest thing was making these little orgami. I forget what

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Speaker 2: they were called, but like you would stick your fingers

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Speaker 2: in them and like go like God, or open them.

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Speaker 2: I could still make it open and you would you

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Speaker 2: would write down the things that you wanted. It was

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Speaker 2: also a game called mash and like you would write

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Speaker 2: out the things that you like wanted, and it was

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Speaker 2: like who you wanted to marry, what you wanted to

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Speaker 2: do for a living, what kind of car you wanted

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Speaker 2: to drive, where you wanted to live. And I was

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Speaker 2: very very sure of what I wanted for my future.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to live in Beverly Hills. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: drive a limousine. I wanted to want to be the

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Speaker 2: driver or the passenger. I just thought a limousine was

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Speaker 2: the most glamorous car. You wanted to be the driver.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted it to be my fucking car.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I just wanted to park. Because you still feel

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Speaker 1: that way, I'm sure there are plenty of opportunities for

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Speaker 1: you to drive a limousine.

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Speaker 2: Let's see if I lose my friend, if I wasn't

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Speaker 2: a good enough friend. No, I just wanted to I

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Speaker 2: just wanted a limousine. Okay, I just thought it was

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Speaker 2: a glamouse. You know. I wanted to marry this kid,

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Speaker 2: Doug in my class, who is not on social media,

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Speaker 2: so I can't even stop him. And I just like,

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Speaker 2: I really wanted to live in a mansion, have three

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Speaker 2: kids married. That's all I wanted out of life.

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Speaker 1: Wow, I mean I want to say that I had

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Speaker 1: so what age was that?

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Speaker 2: No, that was as a kid. That's not really what

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Speaker 2: I wanted as a young adult.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but as a kid, I'm going to say that

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Speaker 1: that that about sums it up. I wanted to be

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Speaker 1: on a soap opera. To me, so the world of

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Speaker 1: like all my children in general hospital was the only

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Speaker 1: place in which anybody should live, and.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't even necessarily.

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Speaker 1: And I went to perming our high school, and I

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Speaker 1: went to acting school after. But I was never a

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Speaker 1: good actress, so there was that. But I just craved

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Speaker 1: that being on stage right, which ironically, all these years later,

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Speaker 1: I get a little bit of that. But anyway, but

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Speaker 1: so and get married and have babies, and I feel so.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I feel guilty saying that, because

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Speaker 1: that's not an anti feminist thing to say. It's just

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Speaker 1: for me. What it was. I just wanted, you know,

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Speaker 1: my family life was not traditional and it was there

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Speaker 1: were a lot of moving pieces, and I really just

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Speaker 1: dreamt of having a very stable, secure family, one home,

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Speaker 1: not a lot of moving around, having babies and being

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Speaker 1: the star of all my children.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, I mean the stable family home. I definitely

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Speaker 2: understand given your upbringing, right, Yeah, yeah, I definitely wanted

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Speaker 2: a lot of children, and I wanted to get married.

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Speaker 2: I didn't when I was dating, I didn't really care

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Speaker 2: who I dated, like in terms of race, religion, ethnicity.

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Speaker 2: I dated across the board. I just I was I love.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you read my book, you know I

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Speaker 2: was like boy crazy. But I probably why I ended

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Speaker 2: up falling in love with like a Jewish finance guy

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Speaker 2: from Westchester, which you know, worked out for my mother wonderfully,

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Speaker 2: but I and he's the best, and it worked out

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Speaker 2: for me really great as well. But I was really open.

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Speaker 1: My one requirement back in the day when I was

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Speaker 1: dating after college was that somebody just had to be tall.

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Speaker 1: That's the only thing I cared about is Jeff tall.

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Speaker 1: He's five six, okay, so literally, like people would be

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Speaker 1: fixing me up, I wasn't. I really didn't have anything

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Speaker 1: else except I just because I always felt like such

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Speaker 1: a big girl and I wanted just to have someone

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Speaker 1: bigger than me. And I mean, look how we plan

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Speaker 1: and god laughs, but I mean I dated. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: the list is long in terms of all of that

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Speaker 1: different guys from all different backgrounds. I just was so

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Speaker 1: until I met Jeff, so needy of a man's attention,

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Speaker 1: and like I didn't really have a lot of requirements,

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Speaker 1: just like just want to kiss me? Yeah, sad, but.

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Speaker 2: No, not sad. I mean, but what would did you

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Speaker 2: have any like goals in your mind of things you

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Speaker 2: wanted to accomplish before you were a certain age.

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Speaker 1: You know, not before I was a certain age. But

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Speaker 1: I think I would dream of of being an actress

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Speaker 1: and being famous. And again, I don't think that was

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Speaker 1: about the craft. I think that was about the attention

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Speaker 1: and just sort of like I always loved in elementary

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Speaker 1: and middle school, like I was always in plays. I

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Speaker 1: was always getting these these you know, really big parts.

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Speaker 1: And then high school. I went to forming arts high

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Speaker 1: school and not so much like there was actual real

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Speaker 1: competition there. And then I went to an act After

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Speaker 1: I graduated tech from UT, I went to the American

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Speaker 1: Academy of Dramatic Arts. I got another degree in acting,

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Speaker 1: but I just wasn't very good at it. But so

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Speaker 1: when you say bucket list, that's something that was always like,

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Speaker 1: I want to be famous. There were other things certainly

433
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: that I've wanted, but I would say that in terms

434
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: of a career, that was probably the running thing I

435
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: never And I also was never that big of like

436
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 1: a career person.

437
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 2: Well yeah, but you have a successful shoe line, right,

438
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 2: That's what I'm going to say.

439
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was not ever sort of like that

440
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 1: focused on career. I wanted to make money. I wanted

441
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: to be independent, and however that was going to happen.

442
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 1: So I had a whole host of different jobs in

443
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: my twenties that I hated, and then when I had

444
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,640
Speaker 1: the kids, I worked part time as a fashion recruiter.

445
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 1: Didn't really enjoy that either. I never enjoyed anything until

446
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: I started my own business, which is for anyone who cares,

447
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: I have a high heel shoe line shop f Major

448
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,720
Speaker 1: dot com and it's for women who after a certain

449
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: age can't walk in heels. And I just wanted to

450
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: create like a really sexy heel for women that wanted

451
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: to still wear them but that was still comfortable because

452
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 1: I can't walk in heels anymore, and I had bunions

453
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: and whatever a million disgusting things that go along with

454
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: aging in your feet. But anyway, so I have this business,

455
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: this shoe business, and I was really passionate about it,

456
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: just I don't know what the It wasn't a bucket

457
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 1: list thing though, right. More like I started it, I

458
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: felt great about it. I started doing it, I really

459
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,120
Speaker 1: started liking what I was doing, as opposed to jobs

460
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: where I was there not because the job was actually

461
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: feeding my soul, but because it was feeding my pocket.

462
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 2: Right yeah, yeah, yeah. So I would say the biggest

463
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: thing in my as a young adult, the number one

464
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 2: thing that I wanted the most and I thought would

465
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 2: make me so happy. Aside from being thin, which was

466
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,600
Speaker 2: another a whole nother story that's a different episode. I

467
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 2: really wanted a daughter, and I thought, if I have

468
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 2: a daughter, my life will be complete. And I won't

469
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 2: need anything else in the whole world.

470
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: Wow.

471
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 2: Now, I had two boys first, and it's not something

472
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 2: I really ever talk about. I did write an article

473
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 2: about it once for Good Housekeeping, But I and if

474
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 2: you know me and my relationship with my to my

475
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: first set of twins, I am absolutely at the time,

476
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 2: I gonna be really honest. I had something called gender disappointment,

477
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 2: and I it was like severe and I loved my

478
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: boys so much, but I had and I make no

479
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: secret of the fact that I have struggled with mental

480
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 2: illness over the years.

481
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: Welcome, come to the right place.

482
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 2: Nice to meet Jim. And I had just this like

483
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,160
Speaker 2: unending anxiety that my boys were never going to love

484
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: me the way that they would love their father. Really, yes,

485
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 2: I was consumed by it.

486
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,800
Speaker 1: And it wasn't about you loving them, It was about

487
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: loving you.

488
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I love them so much.

489
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: I know you didn't.

490
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,239
Speaker 2: I always went scared that they were never going to

491
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 2: be you know, society tells you that you have a daughter,

492
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 2: she'll be your best friend for life, right, so I

493
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,479
Speaker 2: was like, I need that best friend for life. I

494
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: also struggled with like insecurity, and you know, I'm a

495
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: very different person now. But I was consumed by the

496
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 2: thought that if I don't have a daughter, I'm going

497
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: to be really missed something.

498
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, I know one other person like that, Jack

499
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: and I don't even not a friend. But this woman

500
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: that I that I knew who had had like twins,

501
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: she ended up having a daughter. But I remember her

502
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: talking to mebout I didn't even know her that well,

503
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: and she was just she couldn't get past you.

504
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: I just had boys.

505
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 1: I wanted a girl. I just.

506
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 2: And then you think, so like when I had the

507
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: two boys. I cannot tell you how many times people

508
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 2: ask me, are you going to try for a girl?

509
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 2: And so I just had this idea in my head

510
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 2: that I couldn't get rid of, where I was just

511
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,120
Speaker 2: consumed by it. So anyway, I needed IVF anyway because

512
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 2: I destroyed my body with anorexia. So I went back.

513
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 2: So I had my boys first with one round of IVF,

514
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: and then when I went back to have a third

515
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: because I did want to try for that girl, my

516
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 2: next two rounds of IVF at the same clinic, I

517
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: didn't even make it to transfer my So you the

518
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 2: way that it works is like so you grow the

519
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 2: eggs with medication, they take the eggs out of you,

520
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 2: they fertilize it with your husband's sperm, and then you

521
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,360
Speaker 2: see how many embryos are left.

522
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 1: That's a different day.

523
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see how many embryos are left at the

524
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 2: end of either three days or five days anyway, and

525
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 2: then the good ones, if you have some strong ones,

526
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 2: they'll put either one or two inside you and they'll

527
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: freeze the rest or if you want to freeze the rest. Right.

528
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,640
Speaker 2: So I had nothing. I couldn't go to transfer on

529
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,719
Speaker 2: my second and third rounds. It was devastating. It was horrible.

530
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 2: I had very low e quality, so the because of

531
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 2: the interrexia. Yes, I just really destroyed myself. And my

532
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 2: doctor suggested that I stop. And once he said that,

533
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,199
Speaker 2: my mind was like I just went nuts because I

534
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: was like, oh God, I'm not going to get my girl.

535
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 2: So I was looking for a new doctor closer to

536
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,199
Speaker 2: my home in New Jersey. And I'm going to tell

537
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: you a story that I've never told anyone. I don't

538
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: even think my parents know, only really me and Evan.

539
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: I know this now sixty how many how many of you?

540
00:25:55,240 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 2: Okay? Because I mean so, I started doing some research

541
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 2: on how I can have a girl. And I found

542
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 2: this thing that is no longer available in the United States.

543
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: It's available overseas, but it was called MicroSort. It's still around,

544
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 2: but it's just not in the US anymore. But it

545
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 2: was in the US then it was in clinical trials

546
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 2: for a very very long time. So I felt okay that, like,

547
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: it wasn't something that was going to make my kids

548
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 2: sick or what. But it was this technology and there

549
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 2: was a doctor right near me who participated in it.

550
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 2: And what it does, it's this sorting process where your

551
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: husband has to go to Virginia and then they spin

552
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: it or something. No, they don't spin it. Spinning is

553
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 2: like a little bit of a myth. But they they

554
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:52,439
Speaker 2: use this like fluorescent technology that highlights the male sperm

555
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: versus the female like sperm, right, and they separate it

556
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: and then but it's not a guarantee, so you a

557
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 2: percentage on what your sort is, okay, and then they

558
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 2: fertilize your egg with whatever sort that is. So like

559
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: if you were trying for a girl, if you want

560
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 2: a girl, they'll take all the girl sperm and they'll

561
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: and they'll fertilize with that. But it's not a guarantee

562
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 2: they don't get like thousands of dollars. Was this, you

563
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: don't even want to go show accepted. You get to

564
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 2: get accepted to the process and everything. It took a

565
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 2: long time, and they but it's not one hundred percent.

566
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 1: Sort, okay, right.

567
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: So our first round of that, which was my fourth

568
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: round of IBS, oh my god, I got an eighty

569
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 2: five percent sort, so, which meant that eighty five percent

570
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,159
Speaker 2: of the sperm that they were using was girlsperm. Right,

571
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 2: So I got pregnant for like a week, there was

572
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: a thing on the screen my my tests showed that

573
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 2: I was pregnant, and then it was gone. I don't

574
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: know that that's called a miscarriage because it was so early,

575
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 2: but it was gone after like a week, and I

576
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 2: was devastated. And then my fifth round of IVF I

577
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 2: got an eighty five I got a ninety percent sort.

578
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 2: And at the end of that, I had one good

579
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: embryo and one bad embryo, and they were like, we're

580
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 2: just gonna put them both in because nothing ever takes anyway.

581
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 2: And I ended up having a boy and a girl,

582
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, which is wild. But I worried for

583
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 2: a long time that first of all, they have to

584
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: mail back the sperm from I said to Evan, I

585
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: was like, if this is baby, he doesn't look like

586
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: you're gonna hear really fucking upset. Wait was Evan?

587
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: How did Evan handle it?

588
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 2: He was so Evan was not He knew that I

589
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 2: really wanted this. He also, it's really hard to fight

590
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 2: my Yeah, my mentor determined he he did it because

591
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 2: he loves me and because, I mean, there was no

592
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 2: like real downside for him except having to go to

593
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 2: Virginia twice. But I think he was a little bit

594
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: nervous because no one we knew had ever done anything

595
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 2: like this, you know, and still to this day sometimes

596
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: like if my kids will do something cooky, I'm like, God,

597
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 2: I wonder if that like fluorescent technology did something, you know,

598
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 2: I mean, you I worry. But it's still around. It's

599
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: just that in the US the FDA wouldn't clear it,

600
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 2: which means it had to stay as a clinical trial,

601
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 2: which is really really expensive. So it's all over the world,

602
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 2: it's just you can't talk about in America. So I

603
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: did end up having my ground.

604
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: So Alexa was your bucket.

605
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 2: List, she alexis is my bucket list's your bucket list.

606
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 2: But that being said, I worshiped my daughter. I love

607
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 2: her so much. It didn't it didn't end up being

608
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 2: the kind of relationship that in my mind I thought

609
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 2: it would be.

610
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: Carefully because it sounds like in your mind you thought

611
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 1: she was going to be your best friend. Well she,

612
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I had worship were best friend my daughter. No, No,

613
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: I don't think my daughter thinks I'm her best friend.

614
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: I think she much rather hang.

615
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: Out with her actual friends than with me I imagined us,

616
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 2: you know, like coordinating outfits, or of like getting our

617
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 2: nails then together. I think I've taken her for two

618
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 2: mantic years in her whole life. She much rather like

619
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 2: use a marker and color her nails black. She enjoys

620
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: hanging out with her friends far more than she wants

621
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 2: to be with me. And I'll tell you the honest truth.

622
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: My oldest son, my firstborn, and all my kids will

623
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 2: tell you this. I love all my kids the same.

624
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: But Hey and I are the like theses. Probably you know,

625
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: and if you had told me that, I would never

626
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: have believed it. But I find myself gravitating more to

627
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 2: the boy stuff. And maybe because I'm in a place

628
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: of privilege right now because I do have the daughter,

629
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 2: so I can you know, I just gravitate more towards

630
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 2: their basketball games and shopping for the boy. I get

631
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: such a jolt at a watching them play sports. And

632
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 2: I don't feel any different being with my daughter than

633
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: I do with my sons.

634
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: Wow. Well, I definitely didn't have that my so neither

635
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: Jeff nor myself. We have zero ability in terms of athletics,

636
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: so I can barely walk, much less kick a ball.

637
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: Jeff pretends, but he really and we passed those genes

638
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: on thankfully because the truth is the thought of having

639
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: to go I watched my friends have to go to

640
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: game after game after game. Zach is actually here somewhere.

641
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: He's probably up there just cursing me out because like

642
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 1: he wanted so badly to be good at sports. He

643
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: tried so hard, and now like he looks back at

644
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: it and he'll say to me, you know, you guys,

645
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: just let me quit everything. Now I don't think we

646
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: let it. I remember spending thousands of dollars on the

647
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: cross equipment, Like I do know about letting him quit

648
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: so easily. But I'm sorry, but the kid just he

649
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: just couldn't play, so it was what it was. And Rachel, well,

650
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: she just is not in sports. She's like me, she

651
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: never was. But like so in terms of spending time

652
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 1: with them, I don't I don't know that I gravitated

653
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 1: both of my kids whatever they had going on at

654
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: the time. I don't think I was like, oh my god,

655
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: I wish I could go to a soccer game over

656
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 1: whatever girl scouts. But was our point here?

657
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just like what you gravitated towards. I

658
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 2: don't gravitate as much to the girls stuff. No, but

659
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 2: like oh this, I was gonna say so.

660
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: But like when the kids were little, Zach was the

661
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: easiest baby toddler teenager. Rachel was the most difficult baby

662
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: infant toddler teenager. Like I always tell this story that

663
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: when they were both inside me, I used to have

664
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: to go get non stress tests with Zach, which means

665
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: like you don't know if the baby's alive or not,

666
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: because he was like so mellow, Like I was like,

667
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 1: nothing's moving, there's no way there's something wrong here. There's

668
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 1: no way that this baby is alive. And with Rachel,

669
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: like literally the second that the egg was you know,

670
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: the sperm hit the egg. She was kicking me, and

671
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 1: like we always say, like I was like, I couldn't

672
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: get up the stairs with her. She was just pissed,

673
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: and I to this day it is it's well, actually

674
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: it's changed, it has changed.

675
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys are super close, and I am super

676
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 2: close with Alexus. I just you know, I think about

677
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: it now, and I'm very close with my father. I'm

678
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: also very close with my mother. But I don't think

679
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: I would want my daughter to devote her life to

680
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: being my best friend. I don't think I need her

681
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: to live next door to me. If I don't, I

682
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 2: don't need any of that that I thought that I needed.

683
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: So that would be my number one thing that I

684
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: really thought I needed in order to find happiness throughout

685
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 2: my life. And even though my daughter brings me abundant happiness,

686
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: of course, look go back now, I think I would

687
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: have had, you know, abundant happiness with boys only you.

688
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: Know, well, yeah, if I think of like bucketless things,

689
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: I too had the had I didn't have the girl thing.

690
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: I just had the kid thing. But I remember biological

691
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: clock really ticking, like in my late twenties, and I

692
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: met Jeff when I was twenty nine, and I was

693
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: like losing it. Like I'd wake up with dreams, having

694
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 1: had like these dreams of babies, and I would wake

695
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: up so sad and just like missing the baby from

696
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: the dream. And I remember negotiating with God and saying

697
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 1: listen because I'm also a like a crazy hypochondriac. And

698
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 1: it was way worse when I was younger and not

699
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: on medication. But anyway, so I always thought I was dying.

700
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: Please God, just let me have babies first. Please just

701
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: let me have babies first. Then I had babies, Please God,

702
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: let me just get to their weddings. They're gonna need me.

703
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: Please let me just make it until then. Then you know,

704
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: now I have kids that are I can't ever leave them,

705
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: Like there's no negotiating. I can't bear the thought of

706
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: ever leaving them, do you know what I mean? On

707
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 1: the line you said, but wanting that so badly, just

708
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: wanting the kids. I don't know if that was a

709
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 1: bucketless thing, but that was just inside of me. Yeah.

710
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,879
Speaker 2: I think some people need it and some people don't.

711
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 2: For me, I know, I see childless couples, and I

712
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 2: know there's a lot of people who have no desire

713
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 2: to ever have kids. It's hard for me to understand.

714
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 2: And of course I know that it's you know, it's

715
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: just not everybody and everybody's plans, But for me, it's

716
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 2: hard to understand that. I just feel like my kids,

717
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 2: you know, like it's just something I said Jenny McCarthy

718
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: or like Bill Maher talking about Carthy as a kid.

719
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: I'm not Jennie McCarthy. Who am I talking about another

720
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 1: really pretty blonde male. Not Jenny McCarthy. What's her name,

721
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer? No, Chelsea him. Yes, So she's always talking

722
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: about it, and like Bill mar is always talking about it,

723
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,240
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, maybe they are onto something

724
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: there like she's. But I mean, obviously I would never

725
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: go back, but.

726
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 2: I do think that, Yeah, I think that people can

727
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:47,760
Speaker 2: be other There are bucketless things include children. Yep. Okay,

728
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 2: So I mean I always wanted to be thin, but

729
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 2: that's that's for another time. And that didn't actually pan

730
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 2: out the way I thought it would because it almost

731
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 2: killed me. As we all know if you read my book,

732
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 2: I wanted to write something that and viral. I did

733
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 2: want to be a journalist. I had no My mother

734
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: wanted me to go to law school. I went to

735
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 2: law school. I was a corporate lawyer for a while

736
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: and then a real estate lawyer. But I always had

737
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: the writing bug and I just wanted to write one

738
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,919
Speaker 2: thing that would go viral anyway, So I this way

739
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: before Housewives, I started writing. When I started writing, I

740
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: was working my way up. And then I got I

741
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 2: started getting published in the Huffington Post, and I started

742
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:29,399
Speaker 2: getting published in really good places. And I wrote one

743
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 2: thing that went absolutely like all over the place, and

744
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: I can't tell you, for like a week, I couldn't

745
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 2: even sleep. I was just like checking who would read

746
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 2: it and who would comment, and a good way. It

747
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: was so good. It was so good. It was just

748
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 2: about being a mom and like the things that you know,

749
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: you felt that you felt that like you were you

750
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 2: had been so fulfilled. Oh I was fulfilled. I was.

751
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:51,319
Speaker 2: But then I was like, I want more.

752
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just exactly was.

753
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 2: But I did have that. But there are things that

754
00:36:56,239 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: I still want in life, like little goals, like little

755
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: I wouldn't call them bucket lists. I still feel far

756
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: from death maybe so it's hard for me to.

757
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: See, Well, do you know there's that we so our

758
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: producer sent us actually an article like it was like

759
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 1: a Yahoo ar yeah twenty three about bucket lists and

760
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: like how people over fifty they say that they really

761
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: didn't like attain any of those goals or the bucket

762
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: list becomes less important. What becomes important is, you know,

763
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: spending time with people that you love and and all

764
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: of that stuff and Kilimanjaro or running the marathon is

765
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,919
Speaker 1: not doesn't feel quite as meaningful, and you're much less

766
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 1: likely as you get older to also check those items

767
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 1: items like that off of a list because now you're

768
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: older and you're too tired to travel the world, do

769
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But but there are little yeah,

770
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: I still have a bunch of little ones. They're not

771
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: they're not the huge ones. They're not the be you know, uh,

772
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: the eric on all my children anymore?

773
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 2: Well, what are yours? And by the way, you can

774
00:37:59,080 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 2: you can do that.

775
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 1: I don't don't want to do that, okay.

776
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 2: But you know that like ninety nine percent of people's

777
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 2: dreams die in their head, they really do.

778
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: I do love that. That was what Niad was about,

779
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 1: that that Diana and I had had Like she didn't

780
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: do it until she was sixty years old.

781
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 2: So what are yours?

782
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: I have a lot of little ones. And I have

783
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: to say it's like I like everyone does, but travels

784
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: certainly on the list. And I saw in that article

785
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 1: like one of the maybe it was the number one

786
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: bucklest thing was Safari in Africa. Oh really, Yeah, I'm

787
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: dying to do that.

788
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,399
Speaker 2: No, I don't like really long flights.

789
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not concerned about the flight. I just

790
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: want to get there and I want to like be

791
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: in this place that's such a like it's like mystical. Yeah,

792
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: and I have one of my best friends went a

793
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: few months ago. It just changed everything. It was like

794
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: being in a completely different world.

795
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I'm waiting for my kids to be

796
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: able to appreciate it.

797
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,040
Speaker 1: She went with her kids. Yeah, so there's that. So

798
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,240
Speaker 1: so I would say the like, definitely travel is something.

799
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

800
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,439
Speaker 1: And then there's the thing is like I was thinking

801
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: maybe I'd want house in a certain place in Florida

802
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: or the Ham or whatever. But you know when I

803
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: was when Jeff and I had first moved into this house,

804
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: this is our third home in this town. I remember

805
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 1: we were bidding on it and I'm like, if we

806
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,919
Speaker 1: get this house, I will never have an unhappy day.

807
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,799
Speaker 2: That'll be it. Every day I'll wake up and not that.

808
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: My house is. I don't live in an estate, but

809
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: it was for me, it felt so right. I was

810
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: I was dying, dying, dying for this house, big shop.

811
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: I've had unhappy days. So but like what I thought

812
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 1: was like the end all be all. I mean, it

813
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: probably never is, but I so as of now I'm older,

814
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: I see like, oh, it'd be so great to have

815
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: a house in where's your house, West.

816
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 2: Hampton, West Hampton.

817
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,399
Speaker 1: Right, But having said that, I'm still going to be there.

818
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: My shit's still going to be there, you know, my

819
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: issues will still be there. But stuff that I just

820
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 1: I want to do, I mean, it becomes a little smaller.

821
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: I want my kids to be good. Like that's the

822
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 1: first thing.

823
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 2: I mean, your kids being happy is just all that

824
00:39:59,360 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 2: all of us.

825
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like you know right that that's just innate.

826
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: So I want my kids to be good. I want

827
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 1: to laugh.

828
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

829
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: I mean I've gone on this crazy adventure with housewives

830
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,319
Speaker 1: that I could have never predicted and that I'm so

831
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 1: grateful for. And I would like to have more adventures.

832
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: Whether or not it'll be it'll have to do with houses.

833
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: But like having that kind of newness and excitement and

834
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: excitement love to keep.

835
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: There's nothing better than that feeling of like fear and

836
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 2: excitement and anxiety and like then doing something and it

837
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: turning out well or not.

838
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: I mean, listen doesn't always certainly not when we're talking

839
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 1: reality TV. It doesn't always turn out well and it

840
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 1: is always you know. But I have found the last

841
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: couple of years, I've fulfilled these different like checked off

842
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 1: little bucket list things that I never thought I would.

843
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: That's been sort of cool.

844
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: So can I tell you one that I still have? Yes?

845
00:40:59,080 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: Please?

846
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 2: So I played the piano right, and when I was younger,

847
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 2: I was really good. I was good, and I can

848
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 2: play by ear. But when I play by ear, it's

849
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 2: not sophisticated, Like it's just like simple chords with like

850
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,799
Speaker 2: my right hand moving around making like the melody and

851
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 2: like that's pretty cool though. So but I know that

852
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 2: I could be good if I took some more lessons

853
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 2: and I like refreshed myself. I know that I could

854
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 2: be good. And I can read music and everything. And

855
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: I've always had this dream of just playing one night

856
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 2: with a rock band, just really. I can't sing, but

857
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 2: I can write songs.

858
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 1: Jackie, we have spoken about this while you were taking

859
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: guitar lessons, and then you never you didn't continue. Well,

860
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,479
Speaker 1: I was, so, how am I going to start a band?

861
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: I got a little busy. But besides that, it's also

862
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: really really hard. So and I've tried, not once, not twice,

863
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: but three times. And I still have my guitar in

864
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: my room and I pick it up and I'll start

865
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: again and start lessons because the point is that one

866
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: of my bucket list things would be not just to

867
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: play one night. I would love to play. I'd love

868
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: to like band a band, or like be sitting around

869
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: with your friends at night, and like I would just

870
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: cut because there's nothing better than when someone plays guitar

871
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: or piano.

872
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I always thinking out. I always think

873
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: of Beverly Hills and David Foster used to always get

874
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,439
Speaker 2: on the piano and that ever would stand around him.

875
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 2: Evan thinks that's the most awkward thing in the world.

876
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 2: When I used to play songs, be like, it's a

877
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 2: little awkward, Well, because I have no because it's like, well.

878
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: David Foster was like, different, you're talking about a different

879
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,000
Speaker 1: thing you are you're talking about You're sitting in a

880
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: room and David Foster is playing the piano, but like,

881
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 1: if you're just sitting with friends, I mean, maybe I'm

882
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: going back to like days of sleep away camp, or

883
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 1: like somebody just picks up a guitar and all of

884
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 1: a sudden you're singing like James Taylor, I know you.

885
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 2: Had an edible that guy was like not that cute,

886
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 2: and then he picks up on guitar and you're like, yeah,

887
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 2: I mean that's so universe is saying, get back on that,

888
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 2: because I really that is my bucket list goal is

889
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: to play in a rock band, even if it's for

890
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: one night. I really wanted to write a book. I

891
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: did that. It's been unbelievable and so fulfilling. My other

892
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: biggest thing in the world is I want to be

893
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,720
Speaker 2: fully recovered. And I am recovered from my eating disorder,

894
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 2: but I definitely still have a lot of disordered eating habits.

895
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 2: So no anorexia anymore, but I still weigh, like overanalyze

896
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 2: and worry, yeah, of course about food weight too much.

897
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 2: So I want all of that gone, which I am

898
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 2: actively working on. I would love to go to Europe

899
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 2: when that's all done, and really be able to like

900
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 2: go to breakfast and get what I want and then

901
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 2: not think about food for a little while and then

902
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 2: go to lunchinella I want. Like That's not how my

903
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: life works right now. Of course, so I don't restrict

904
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 2: anymore in an unhealthy way, but I certainly do not

905
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 2: have like a lot of freedom around food the way

906
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: that I should. So that is my ultimate bucket list goal,

907
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 2: is to get rid of all of that noise and

908
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 2: to be able to eat really really freely without tons

909
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 2: of anxiety, which I'm getting there, but not there quite yet.

910
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: So interesting because all like stuff that you think that

911
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: you want when you're younger, and then you get it

912
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: and you're like, wait a second, you know this is great.

913
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: But so I also have one of my best friends

914
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: who said to me when we were in we had

915
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 1: just had kids, so we're like, I guess early thirties,

916
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 1: and she started a business called alor Mates and it's

917
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: for kids with food allergies, and she made really amazing

918
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: like jewelry and dog tags. Her kid had and has

919
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: a very serious nut allergy. Actually so does my son

920
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: and my daughter has. I know, they both have food allergies,

921
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: but anyway, so kind of I would sometimes go in

922
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: and help her with ideas for the little characters and

923
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: the dog. Anyway, she said she was so driven by

924
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:40,240
Speaker 1: wanting to be to like have created this uber successful business,

925
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: right and your name and your your pictures on the

926
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: cover of Time magazine or whatever. Business. She was so

927
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: all about being the CEO. And the business is still

928
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 1: around and it's actually really really amazing. But she said,

929
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,280
Speaker 1: you know, I was asking her, what were your bucket

930
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: list things then as opposed to what they are now,

931
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: And she's like, now, it's not that I don't, you know,

932
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: enjoy my business. But the truth is she feels really

933
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: passionate about certain causes, one of them right now being Israel.

934
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: But she's like, I just want to be an advocate.

935
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: I wanted my life to get smaller. And she actually

936
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: still has a son who it's like his first year

937
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: of high school, so she's a while but she's like,

938
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: that's what is motivating her now, causes that she is

939
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: passionate about and advocating for them, and she's a big house.

940
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: Maybe she always wanted that. It's you she wants to downsize,

941
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 1: you know, like everything changes. She wants to have an easier,

942
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: smaller situation and so which I really I kind of

943
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 1: relate to like what I thought I wanted when I

944
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: was younger. And by the way, if any of you

945
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 1: out there are under forty and listening, just know like

946
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: it changes, it does. It definitely change the better you

947
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: get perspective. Well, yeah, you were saying you wanted to

948
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: have like freedom around food. I would like to be

949
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: I've had years and years and years and years of therapy,

950
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,919
Speaker 1: but I would like to And we were talking about

951
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 1: this at the top of this hour, but not be

952
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: so affected by oh my god, worried about are they

953
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: going to like me? Number one and number two? Always

954
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,439
Speaker 1: I have a lot of fear around oh my god,

955
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: when is the other shoe going to drop?

956
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 2: Oh no, I don't really have that so anxiety.

957
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: I mean it's gotten listen, years of therapy and medication

958
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: and work on myself. It's definitely a whole different thing

959
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 1: than it used to be. But I do definitely dream

960
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: of a time where I am and it's gotten better,

961
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: a lot better, but where I'm so sort of like secure,

962
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: knowing that I am like living in dignity and not worrying.

963
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 1: It doesn't It doesn't affect me what people say or think. Yeah,

964
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: that's definitely a goal.

965
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. I also I think one of the

966
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: things that's always been really important to me and that

967
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 2: I really wanted as an adult was close female close

968
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: female friendships because I struggled with that congratulations, I'm gonna

969
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 2: I was just going to say, like you and I,

970
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 2: how long we've been friends? Only a few years? Like sisters?

971
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Well, listen, the thing is the best thing

972
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: about the female, about a female friendship is that it's

973
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: so different. We can talk about shit that I will

974
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: never ever talk to Jeff about, will relate to each

975
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: other in a way that I can never ever relate

976
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: to him. You and I will be there for each

977
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 1: other in ways that you know, my husband is thankfully

978
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 1: happily there for me always. But different.

979
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 2: But like the fact that, like if you had told

980
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,480
Speaker 2: me when you're, you know, in your mid forties, you're

981
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 2: going to find one of your best friends in the world, Like,

982
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that I would especially.

983
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 1: Imagine this in this scenario, right.

984
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 2: And did you notice we have the same exact I

985
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:53,879
Speaker 2: already did notice that, But no, I mean, I'm really

986
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: happy with where I am that I think there's so

987
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 2: much to be said again another episode because whatever.

988
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:01,680
Speaker 1: But like, the female friendship for me at this age

989
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 1: is everything.

990
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 2: Everything, yeah, but not not everything.

991
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 1: But it's a lot.

992
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: But it's a lot. But that being said, on the

993
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 2: flip side of it, the female friendships that I felt

994
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 2: like were toxic and not serving me. In the past

995
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: few years, I have definitely moved away from.

996
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 1: So you see yourself in terms of like a bucket list?

997
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 1: What do you see because you're younger to be Jack,

998
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 1: but like now you're let's say, now you are sixty,

999
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 1: what does that look like? I would like to.

1000
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously that perfect relationship with food I would

1001
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 2: like to have.

1002
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: But what does it look like? Do you have a

1003
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 1: picture of it?

1004
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 2: If my kids are happy and doing things that make

1005
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 2: them happy, have gone to a four year college is

1006
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 2: important to me, and working in careers that make them happy,

1007
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 2: then I would feel like I can go live my life.

1008
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 2: I would like to travel with Evan. I would like

1009
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 2: to work. I always want to be create content, you

1010
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 2: know I I That's why I love this podcast. I

1011
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 2: love being on the show.

1012
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 1: I can't say I always would want to work no, no, no,

1013
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 1: but I.

1014
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 2: See I love creating content, like putting things out there,

1015
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,320
Speaker 2: whether it's a book, an article, the show, the podcast.

1016
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 2: Like I am always like I wake up and I'm like,

1017
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 2: what can I write today? Yeah? I love that, So

1018
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 2: I still want to be doing that. I would like

1019
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 2: to write a lot more things, and of course play

1020
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:23,879
Speaker 2: in a rock band.

1021
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and playing around and playing a rock band.

1022
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 2: And that's it.

1023
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I got a lot of the bucket list things.

1024
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: I'm not Erica Kaine, but I am like I was

1025
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 1: able to with this show. You know, see what it

1026
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: feels like. Which is funny because that's when I say

1027
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be famous as a bucket list thing.

1028
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to say that I'm famous. I'm not.

1029
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 1: I hate like I make myself sick a little like

1030
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: because some people that watch the show will recognize me,

1031
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,960
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm not trying to be like now

1032
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 1: that I'm famous. I obviously know that I'm not. That's

1033
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: not but being recognized sometimes I thought that it was

1034
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: going to be it would fill me up in a

1035
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,439
Speaker 1: way that it definitely it's so much fun, but it's

1036
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 1: not what I thought like and maybe so many bucket

1037
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 1: list things aren't. Like I used to walk behind Margaret

1038
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 1: We're friends before and I watched people recognize her and

1039
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 1: they would just wig out when they would see her coming,

1040
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: and I would be like, wow, what would that be?

1041
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, because the problem is there's always going to

1042
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 2: be someone more famous than you.

1043
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: Well not, that's not a problem. I don't mean it

1044
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 1: like that, right, but like.

1045
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 2: You're always gonna when you get to a certain level,

1046
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 2: then you're like okay, now what Well.

1047
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: I also just feel like it's not as for whatever reason,

1048
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: like when people recognize me, it's so flattering and nice,

1049
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 1: but I would watch it happen to others and be like, wow,

1050
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 1: I want that to happen to me, and it's not. Again,

1051
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,959
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's not exciting and flattering and nice,

1052
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 1: but there's you know, it's not I guess what it

1053
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:45,640
Speaker 1: what I mean.

1054
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's fun, Like I was at Whole Foods. It

1055
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 2: is fun, and I went over to the strawberries and

1056
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 2: there was a girl looking at the strawberries too, and

1057
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,320
Speaker 2: we were both like picking up packages and looking to

1058
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:56,279
Speaker 2: see if like the whole package was like fine, And

1059
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 2: we were both there for like a good like minute

1060
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 2: and a half and she said without looking up, and

1061
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: she was like, I can't find a good package. And

1062
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know me neither. And she started to

1063
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 2: talk and then she looked at me and oh my god,

1064
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 2: Jackie and she drops all the strawberries and like it

1065
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 2: was just like it started, like that is so fun

1066
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 2: and funny. And then there are times when like you

1067
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,240
Speaker 2: get somebody at like a checkout counter who like really

1068
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 2: wants to deep dive into the show, and.

1069
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: You're like, I don't. Yeah, no, I my toilet paper, right,

1070
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: but not even I don't mean not that. I just

1071
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: thought it would fill me up in a different way,

1072
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: Like it's not it's not the absolute that I thought

1073
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 1: that it would be, you know, for somebody who always

1074
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: wanted to be on stage or to be famous. Right,

1075
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: But like now what I want when I look at

1076
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 1: my life is just like you, I want my kids.

1077
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 1: But even those bucket listened, Like you said college, the

1078
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:47,479
Speaker 1: four year college thing. My kids both my daughter's about

1079
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,279
Speaker 1: to graduate in May, but both kids went to had

1080
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: they both got a four year degree. Now I'm like

1081
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: that was so important, right, and like what college they

1082
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 1: were going to go to? No, I don't care what

1083
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 1: college they want. I'm not saying that's not important. But

1084
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: now I look at life very differently. There's so many

1085
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 1: different and I have some friends whose kids took a

1086
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: different path that has worked out so beautifully. Yeah, you know,

1087
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: so like all of that stuff that I thought I

1088
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 1: and that's really about them, not me, but that I

1089
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: thought I wanted for them so desperately. And I'm happy

1090
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 1: that they both have graduated from a four year college,

1091
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: but the importance it felt so much more important to

1092
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,719
Speaker 1: me than it does now. In actually I think you

1093
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: live and learn, right, Yeah, No, just thinking about like

1094
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: what else I wanted in life? And I'm fifty five

1095
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 1: years old, and like you would think i'd be actually

1096
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 1: really concentrated on that, Like what do I want? Really

1097
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:39,840
Speaker 1: sort of like you can't really plan it, I guess,

1098
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,840
Speaker 1: but put a lot of thought into that bucket list question.

1099
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 1: But I want to travel. I want to have my

1100
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 1: life be peaceful. I want Yeah, I don't want to

1101
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: have at some point we're going to give up the

1102
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: four bedroom colonial and I want to be somewhere easy

1103
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: in a townhouse and an apartment in a you know,

1104
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 1: and just and I guess play with grandkids.

1105
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 2: Very I don't want even want to hear that word.

1106
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's sorry.

1107
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 2: I don't even want to talk about granids.

1108
00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: It's gonna happen.

1109
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 2: Evan brings it up sometimes and I'm like, get the

1110
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 2: fuck out of my face with branchids, like I still

1111
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 2: have thirteen year olds, Like, I don't want to.

1112
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 1: Hear any I can't believe you have thirteen year olds.

1113
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 1: That is so hideous.

1114
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, far away from like thirteen.

1115
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:24,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1116
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 2: Well my oldest and your youngest are not that far

1117
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:27,800
Speaker 2: apart in age.

1118
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:28,919
Speaker 1: Rachel's twenty one.

1119
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 2: Oh you're right, yeah they are.

1120
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not interested in going back, but I am

1121
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,399
Speaker 1: inted in having the grandkids. And like everyone says having them,

1122
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,800
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be that grandmother. I'm not raising them.

1123
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,439
Speaker 1: I'll take them, I'll play with them, I'll give them money,

1124
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: and i'll send them back.

1125
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 2: See. I still have these thoughts every once in a

1126
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 2: while where I'm like, I could still have a baby.

1127
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 2: I'm forty seven. I hear that I could still have

1128
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:48,720
Speaker 2: a baby.

1129
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1130
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:51,760
Speaker 2: I have brought it up to Evan, to be honest

1131
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 2: with you, I think I stop bringing it up, Like

1132
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: a year ago. But I think two main concerns, and

1133
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 2: I would have another one because I actually love to

1134
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: the children. My two main concerns are that, you know,

1135
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,760
Speaker 2: as you get older, it's riskier.

1136
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 1: Be a geriatic what do they call a geriatric?

1137
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 2: Forget?

1138
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 3: Forget, you're like geriatric? I am like fucking like in

1139
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 3: the coffee and walking kiddy. I am like the old

1140
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 3: age home pregnancy.

1141
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 2: I worry that it would be healthy, that the child

1142
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 2: would be healthy, because you know, as you get older

1143
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: there's a greater source of But if I could guarantee

1144
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 2: that it was healthy, I just think that it wouldn't

1145
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 2: be like so much of a sibling, excepting name, because

1146
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 2: there'd be such an age difference. I just can't get.

1147
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 1: Past past the pack that this is a bucket Is.

1148
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: This called that's the bucket list? I don't need a

1149
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 2: fun are you nuts? No? I don't need But are

1150
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 2: walking around in their eighties they weren't believing that wasn't

1151
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:50,439
Speaker 2: on their bucket list.

1152
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 1: That just that was like something slipped okay, seriously, something

1153
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 1: fucking slipped by, and some woman was like, don't worry,

1154
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: I'm on that pill wink wing.

1155
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I don't know. So yeah, but grandkids I

1156
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 2: just don't want to think about yet.

1157
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: I mean, people love them, they say good things. Yeah,

1158
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 1: people recommend it. Oh yeah no no, I definitely one day,

1159
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 1: but not anytime soon. Not today, No, not today, honey.

1160
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,320
Speaker 1: I'd like to also. Now we're just rambling, but whatever.

1161
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 1: That's why we have a producer jackline. You can cut

1162
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 1: in paste. But like, I'd like to just do things

1163
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 1: that are like when you say creative, like not work,

1164
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: like you always want to so you always want to work.

1165
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 2: Well, I always want to do creative things.

1166
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 1: I want to make nice stuff like i'd like to. Lately,

1167
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: I've been putting this stuff on social media about like

1168
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: cooking because I'm so bad at it, and so I've

1169
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 1: been doing things where I'm cooking whatever shitty thing I'm cooking,

1170
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:46,280
Speaker 1: and just it's like fun. It's like it's like performing

1171
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 1: a little bit, you know, and like just thinking about

1172
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: it and thinking, like maybe one night I'll do an

1173
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 1: edible and we'll call it edible cooking. Well, come over

1174
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 1: and do that and then we'll Because I sock at cooking,

1175
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 1: so so do I. Well, the reason I suck at

1176
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: cooking is because I never wanted to cook. Because I

1177
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 1: never wanted to taste of food, right, Yeah, so I

1178
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 1: suck at it just because I suck at it and

1179
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 1: I was never interested in doing it, and like, but

1180
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 1: like making these little videos about it is kind of funny.

1181
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:12,480
Speaker 1: I did like a one. I have a one in

1182
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 1: bringing watch Chicken. I have to watch that. You don't

1183
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 1: have to watch that, but I do. I'm just saying

1184
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: my point. The bigger point is that like doing fun

1185
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: stuff like that, you know not yea, I don't have to.

1186
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going to necessarily change the world, but like

1187
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,479
Speaker 1: being creative like that. Yeah, And I think that being

1188
00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 1: funny and coming up with things. I do really enjoy that.

1189
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: Whether or not you know you paste on TikTok.

1190
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 2: I am not on TikTok. I don't even have an account.

1191
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:37,879
Speaker 2: I think I made an account once just to check

1192
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:40,160
Speaker 2: like my daughter's content, but.

1193
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: I don't I've never been on it.

1194
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,319
Speaker 2: And I think that I felt like I missed the

1195
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,440
Speaker 2: boat on doing those kind of things.

1196
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: You may have there, maybe taking it down it was

1197
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: all that controversy. But yeah, but like stuff like that,

1198
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: but I think is fun. I would also like to

1199
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: give back. I should probably say that even though that

1200
00:56:56,719 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 1: has not come out, but do something meaningful in this world. Actually, like, yeah, no,

1201
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 1: idea something good we have. Of course we've done good

1202
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: things in this world, but something that has nothing to

1203
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 1: do with me.

1204
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 2: But by the way, I tell you something funny follow

1205
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,239
Speaker 2: up to the TikTok things. So I always had this

1206
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 2: regret that I didn't get on TikTok early enough. Right,

1207
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 2: So when Threads started, I was like, I'm gonna be

1208
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:23,560
Speaker 2: the first motherfucker on Threads. Iain. I was like all

1209
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 2: about Threads for like a month, and then I was like,

1210
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 2: you know what, Yeah.

1211
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 1: I don't even know what thread is, honey.

1212
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes on my Instagram, the Facebook version of Twitter, I.

1213
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: Don't even know what that means. And I don't want

1214
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 1: to know Instagram.

1215
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 2: That's it. I have no other bucket list items. All right, Well,

1216
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 2: listen you guys if you want to, I keep saying

1217
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 2: at the end of every show, but if you guys

1218
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 2: have any ideas there are things you want us to

1219
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 2: talk about, it would be so great. I think we

1220
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 2: really should watch that movie.

1221
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 1: Okay about it. We're definitely watching them. What do you

1222
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 1: mean in ten minutes? Okay, yeah, but no.

1223
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,600
Speaker 2: I'm serious. This was so fun it always is fun. Yeah.

1224
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 1: I hope you guys are having fun. We appreciate your

1225
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 1: listening a lot.

1226
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 2: All right, We love you guys until next time.

1227
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: Bye bye,