1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:19,795 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:23,595 --> 00:00:26,515 Speaker 1: Since two thousand eighteen, Republicans have spent at least two 3 00:00:26,715 --> 00:00:30,115 Speaker 1: d and seven million dollars on TV advertising to get 4 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,955 Speaker 1: somebody to try to kill Nancy Pelosi. And we now 5 00:00:33,995 --> 00:00:36,155 Speaker 1: know how they finally got their money's worth with David 6 00:00:36,195 --> 00:00:39,075 Speaker 1: de Pappi, who has now been charged federally with attempted 7 00:00:39,155 --> 00:00:41,515 Speaker 1: kidnapping of the Speaker of the House and assault on 8 00:00:41,515 --> 00:00:43,955 Speaker 1: the immediate relative of a federal official. And although they 9 00:00:43,955 --> 00:00:46,835 Speaker 1: are not calling it this, he has in effect confessed, 10 00:00:47,275 --> 00:00:51,235 Speaker 1: confessed it was a political crime. Confessed he attacked Pelosi 11 00:00:51,315 --> 00:00:53,075 Speaker 1: because she was the head of the legislative part of 12 00:00:53,075 --> 00:00:56,275 Speaker 1: the Democratic Party. Confessed he did not know Paul Pelosi. 13 00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,955 Speaker 1: Confessed he intended to hold Paul Pelosi hostage until Nancy 14 00:00:59,995 --> 00:01:02,315 Speaker 1: Pelosi got home, when he would hold her hostage and 15 00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:05,435 Speaker 1: then break her kneecaps unless she told him some kind 16 00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:09,075 Speaker 1: of truth. And he hoped to use her to lure 17 00:01:09,275 --> 00:01:14,075 Speaker 1: some other figure to him. The Political Advertising Monitor Group 18 00:01:14,235 --> 00:01:19,475 Speaker 1: AD Impact documents five hundred and thirty thousand airings of 19 00:01:19,515 --> 00:01:24,595 Speaker 1: Republican ads focused against Nancy Pelosi in the last four years, 20 00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:28,115 Speaker 1: priced at two hundred and twenty seven million dollars one 21 00:01:28,195 --> 00:01:32,195 Speaker 1: hundred and forty three thousand airings of TV commercials this 22 00:01:32,275 --> 00:01:36,275 Speaker 1: year focused against Pelosi, costing sixty one million. They have 23 00:01:36,355 --> 00:01:38,875 Speaker 1: shown her head in flames. They have shown her face 24 00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:41,395 Speaker 1: framed by the barrel of a gun with a firing bullet, 25 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,875 Speaker 1: with red bleeding down the screen. They have shown her 26 00:01:43,955 --> 00:01:48,195 Speaker 1: this year shot at by an Arizona Republican. It is 27 00:01:48,315 --> 00:01:52,595 Speaker 1: stochastic terrorism and it works. It put David de Pappy 28 00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:56,515 Speaker 1: in her home Friday. This is violence inspired by the 29 00:01:56,515 --> 00:02:00,355 Speaker 1: Republican Party, funded by the Republican Party, rewarded by the 30 00:02:00,355 --> 00:02:04,235 Speaker 1: Republican Party. And every Democrat and every news commentator and 31 00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:07,555 Speaker 1: every reporter who does not say this is an accessory 32 00:02:07,675 --> 00:02:11,835 Speaker 1: after the fact, because right now the Democrats and the 33 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:15,475 Speaker 1: mainstream American media are treating this as if this psychopath 34 00:02:15,555 --> 00:02:19,995 Speaker 1: had sent Nancy Pelosi a mean spirited tweet. And Republicans, 35 00:02:20,035 --> 00:02:24,355 Speaker 1: not just the fringe like Congressman Clay Higgins or Junior 36 00:02:24,475 --> 00:02:28,875 Speaker 1: Trump or Elon Musk, but sitting senators like Ted Cruz, 37 00:02:29,235 --> 00:02:33,515 Speaker 1: have created and bolstered a complete and slanderous fiction about 38 00:02:33,555 --> 00:02:37,475 Speaker 1: what they want their cultists to believe. Quote really happened. 39 00:02:37,795 --> 00:02:40,755 Speaker 1: And if America does not come down on Ted Cruise 40 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:44,435 Speaker 1: and Elon Musk and these other scum like a ton 41 00:02:44,475 --> 00:02:47,395 Speaker 1: of bricks, we will have a kidnapping or an assault 42 00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:50,635 Speaker 1: or an assassination every week in this country, and soon 43 00:02:50,835 --> 00:02:55,835 Speaker 1: or late the victim will be a conservative, and God 44 00:02:55,955 --> 00:02:58,995 Speaker 1: knows what happens then, because having created the America Donald 45 00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:02,915 Speaker 1: Trump wanted, the fascist will be stunned beyond words when 46 00:03:02,955 --> 00:03:09,195 Speaker 1: that American madness claims of their own. And this all 47 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:13,795 Speaker 1: roots back to the unlimited money in the race for 48 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:16,395 Speaker 1: the House seat in the fifth District of Connecticut. In 49 00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:21,075 Speaker 1: the total spending from outside that district was sixty eight 50 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:26,595 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. This year it is seven million, two hundred 51 00:03:26,635 --> 00:03:30,675 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. And there are jaw dropping increases like that 52 00:03:30,995 --> 00:03:34,635 Speaker 1: everywhere in this country, and there are no curbs, there 53 00:03:34,635 --> 00:03:37,435 Speaker 1: are no limitations, and so there will be millions more 54 00:03:38,315 --> 00:03:41,475 Speaker 1: spent in the next week convincing somebody somewhere to try 55 00:03:41,515 --> 00:03:46,515 Speaker 1: to attack Nancy Pelosi again, or President Biden, or Alexandria 56 00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:50,235 Speaker 1: Casio Cortez or Raphael Warnock or god knows who else, 57 00:03:51,795 --> 00:03:55,515 Speaker 1: And that which came to a nightmarish head last Friday 58 00:03:55,955 --> 00:04:01,915 Speaker 1: actually began on January two thousand ten. That two hundred 59 00:04:01,955 --> 00:04:05,075 Speaker 1: and twenty seven million the Republicans have spent in four 60 00:04:05,155 --> 00:04:09,875 Speaker 1: years to remove Nancy Pelosi removed politically or literally, became 61 00:04:09,955 --> 00:04:14,315 Speaker 1: legal on January two thousand ten. And the connection only 62 00:04:14,395 --> 00:04:17,995 Speaker 1: written home with me when I read yesterday of new 63 00:04:18,075 --> 00:04:21,395 Speaker 1: polling in Michigan and New York conducted by Kelly and 64 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:30,675 Speaker 1: con Job Consulting and paid for by Citizens United. David Bossy, 65 00:04:30,915 --> 00:04:37,155 Speaker 1: President and Chairman. On a very cold morning Friday, March 66 00:04:38,235 --> 00:04:41,035 Speaker 1: fifty seven, a very old man who was born barely 67 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:44,515 Speaker 1: eight months after the Declaration of Independence was adopted, a 68 00:04:44,555 --> 00:04:46,635 Speaker 1: man who was married to the sister of the man 69 00:04:46,675 --> 00:04:50,075 Speaker 1: who had written the Star Spangled Banner, a man who 70 00:04:50,195 --> 00:04:54,115 Speaker 1: was personally enlightened enough to have freed his own slaves 71 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:58,195 Speaker 1: and given pensions to the ex slaves who had become 72 00:04:58,235 --> 00:05:00,955 Speaker 1: too old to work. He got up and read aloud, 73 00:05:00,995 --> 00:05:04,795 Speaker 1: in a read thin voice, a very long document, and 74 00:05:04,955 --> 00:05:07,955 Speaker 1: in it he ruled on a legal case involving a 75 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:11,835 Speaker 1: slave brought by his owner to live in a free state, 76 00:05:11,995 --> 00:05:16,875 Speaker 1: yet to remain a slave. The case, of course, was 77 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:22,115 Speaker 1: known by the name of that man dread Scott. The 78 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,795 Speaker 1: old man reading the decision was the fifth Chief Justice 79 00:05:24,835 --> 00:05:28,675 Speaker 1: of the United States of America, Roger Brooke Tawny, and 80 00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:33,395 Speaker 1: the outcome, he believed would be to remove and settle 81 00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:37,115 Speaker 1: the burning question and danger of the abolition of slavery 82 00:05:37,395 --> 00:05:40,435 Speaker 1: from the political arena in America for once and for all. 83 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:46,235 Speaker 1: It would be made permanent. In fact, the outcome was 84 00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:49,915 Speaker 1: the Civil War. No American ever made a single bigger 85 00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:53,675 Speaker 1: miss judgment that Roger B. Tawny. No American ever carried 86 00:05:53,675 --> 00:05:56,595 Speaker 1: the responsibility for the deaths and suffering of more Americans. 87 00:05:56,875 --> 00:06:01,275 Speaker 1: No American ever was more quickly vilified. Within four years, 88 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:04,555 Speaker 1: Chief Justice Tawny's rulings were being ignored in the South 89 00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:09,155 Speaker 1: and in the North. Within five years, President Abraham Lincoln 90 00:06:09,155 --> 00:06:14,595 Speaker 1: at minimum contemplated arresting him. Within seven years, Tawny died 91 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,915 Speaker 1: in poverty while still Chief Justice. Within eight Congress had 92 00:06:17,995 --> 00:06:20,835 Speaker 1: voted not to place a bust of him alongside those 93 00:06:20,875 --> 00:06:23,595 Speaker 1: of the other busts of the other former Chief Justices. 94 00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:29,875 Speaker 1: But then on January John Roberts got Roger B. Tawney 95 00:06:29,955 --> 00:06:33,875 Speaker 1: off the hook. It was a decision that is well 96 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,515 Speaker 1: on its way now to having even more dire implications 97 00:06:36,515 --> 00:06:40,315 Speaker 1: than dread Scott v. Sanford. The Roberts Court declared that, 98 00:06:40,355 --> 00:06:43,595 Speaker 1: because of the alchemy of its nineteenth century predecessors, who 99 00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:48,435 Speaker 1: decided that corporations had all the rights of people, any 100 00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:52,355 Speaker 1: restrictions on how these corporate beings were to spend their 101 00:06:52,395 --> 00:06:57,915 Speaker 1: money on political advertising, any restrictions at all, were unconstitutional. 102 00:06:58,355 --> 00:07:05,035 Speaker 1: The case was Citizens United versus Federal Election Commission. In short, 103 00:07:06,155 --> 00:07:09,875 Speaker 1: the first Amendment, free speech for People, which went into 104 00:07:09,915 --> 00:07:14,955 Speaker 1: effect in seventeen nine, was applied to corporations, which were 105 00:07:14,995 --> 00:07:18,955 Speaker 1: not recognized as the equivalence of persons until eight six. 106 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:22,475 Speaker 1: In short, there became no checks on the ability of 107 00:07:22,515 --> 00:07:27,475 Speaker 1: corporations or unions or other giant aggregations of power to 108 00:07:27,675 --> 00:07:34,435 Speaker 1: decide our elections. None. They can spend all the money 109 00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:37,435 Speaker 1: they want. And as we have seen in the nearly 110 00:07:37,475 --> 00:07:40,235 Speaker 1: thirteen years since the decision, if they could spend all 111 00:07:40,275 --> 00:07:42,955 Speaker 1: the money they wanted, sooner rather than later, they would 112 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,515 Speaker 1: spend all the money they wanted, and they would implant 113 00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:48,115 Speaker 1: the legislators of their choice in every office, from president 114 00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:51,155 Speaker 1: to head of the visiting Nurse Service. And that is 115 00:07:51,195 --> 00:07:53,035 Speaker 1: one of the ways we got Trump, and one of 116 00:07:53,075 --> 00:07:55,795 Speaker 1: the ways we may get Simpleton's like herschel Walker and 117 00:07:55,875 --> 00:08:00,595 Speaker 1: the primary way we got David d Pappy. And as 118 00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:04,515 Speaker 1: we have also seen, if senators and congressmen and governors 119 00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:07,795 Speaker 1: and mayors and councilmen and everyone in between are entirely 120 00:08:07,875 --> 00:08:12,515 Speaker 1: beholden to the corporations for election and re election to office, 121 00:08:13,515 --> 00:08:18,155 Speaker 1: they would erase and have already erased, many of the 122 00:08:18,235 --> 00:08:22,115 Speaker 1: checks that might still exist to just slow down the 123 00:08:22,155 --> 00:08:25,155 Speaker 1: ability of corporations to make and decide the laws of 124 00:08:25,195 --> 00:08:29,355 Speaker 1: this country. It is almost literally true that any political 125 00:08:29,435 --> 00:08:32,035 Speaker 1: science fiction nightmare you can now dream up, no matter 126 00:08:32,035 --> 00:08:37,795 Speaker 1: how you are politically conservative or liberal, that political science 127 00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:43,475 Speaker 1: fiction nightmare became legal on January because the people who 128 00:08:43,515 --> 00:08:48,115 Speaker 1: can make it legal can now be entirely bought and sold. 129 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:53,755 Speaker 1: There are no actual citizens required in the campaign fundraising process. 130 00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:59,115 Speaker 1: After Citizens United and the entirely bought and sold politicians 131 00:08:59,275 --> 00:09:02,675 Speaker 1: can change any laws, and any legal defense you can 132 00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:05,475 Speaker 1: structure now can be undone by the politicians who will 133 00:09:05,515 --> 00:09:07,555 Speaker 1: be bought and sold into office a week from tomorrow, 134 00:09:08,035 --> 00:09:10,875 Speaker 1: or two years from now, or two years after that. 135 00:09:12,555 --> 00:09:15,515 Speaker 1: The day the Supreme Court ruled on Citizens United, I 136 00:09:15,595 --> 00:09:19,155 Speaker 1: went on at length on countdown about the practical implications 137 00:09:19,155 --> 00:09:21,835 Speaker 1: of the decision. Permit me to read this part as 138 00:09:21,875 --> 00:09:26,755 Speaker 1: I wrote and read it on January. Let's contemplate what 139 00:09:26,955 --> 00:09:31,555 Speaker 1: that perfectly symmetrical money driven world might look like. Be 140 00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:36,195 Speaker 1: prepared first for laws criminalizing or at least neutering unions. 141 00:09:36,835 --> 00:09:39,235 Speaker 1: In the court decision, they are the weaker of the 142 00:09:39,275 --> 00:09:42,355 Speaker 1: non human sisters, unfettered by the court, so as in 143 00:09:42,435 --> 00:09:46,795 Speaker 1: ancient Rome or medieval England, they will necessarily be strangled 144 00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:50,475 Speaker 1: by the stronger sibling, the corporations, to make sure they 145 00:09:50,475 --> 00:09:53,515 Speaker 1: pose no further threat to the corporation's total control of 146 00:09:53,515 --> 00:09:57,755 Speaker 1: our political system. And be prepared then for the reduction 147 00:09:57,795 --> 00:10:01,155 Speaker 1: of taxes for the wealthy and for the corporations, and 148 00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:03,595 Speaker 1: the elimination of the social safety nets for everybody else, 149 00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:07,195 Speaker 1: because money spent on the poor means less money left 150 00:10:07,435 --> 00:10:11,075 Speaker 1: for the corporations. Be prepared then for the ban on 151 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:16,355 Speaker 1: same sex marriage, on abortion, on evolution, on separation of 152 00:10:16,395 --> 00:10:21,035 Speaker 1: church and state. To end, the most politically agitated group 153 00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:24,395 Speaker 1: of citizens left are the evangelicals. Throw them some red 154 00:10:24,475 --> 00:10:28,075 Speaker 1: meat to feed their holier than thou rationalizations, and they 155 00:10:28,115 --> 00:10:30,835 Speaker 1: will not care what else you do to this corporate nation. 156 00:10:31,555 --> 00:10:35,195 Speaker 1: Be prepared then for racial and religious profiling, because you've 157 00:10:35,195 --> 00:10:37,795 Speaker 1: got to blame somebody for all the reductions in domestic 158 00:10:37,835 --> 00:10:41,435 Speaker 1: spending and civil liberties, just to make sure the agitators 159 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:45,235 Speaker 1: against the United Corporate States of America are kept unheard. 160 00:10:45,755 --> 00:10:48,595 Speaker 1: Be prepared then for the end of what you're watching 161 00:10:48,635 --> 00:10:52,355 Speaker 1: on television. And I didn't just mean me or that 162 00:10:52,475 --> 00:10:57,475 Speaker 1: program or that network. I meant all independent news organizations, 163 00:10:57,755 --> 00:11:00,515 Speaker 1: and kiss whatever right to privacy you think you currently 164 00:11:00,555 --> 00:11:05,395 Speaker 1: have goodbye. And anyway, what are you to complain about 165 00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:08,435 Speaker 1: if you don't even know what happened in the New 166 00:11:08,475 --> 00:11:13,995 Speaker 1: World unveiled on January by John Roberts, who stops Rupert 167 00:11:14,075 --> 00:11:20,395 Speaker 1: Murdoch from buying the Associated Press. That's what I said 168 00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:24,755 Speaker 1: on January, and so much of it unfortunately not accurate, 169 00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:30,875 Speaker 1: but understated. On that day of the Citizens United decision, 170 00:11:30,955 --> 00:11:34,155 Speaker 1: which in mythology would rank somewhere between the Bottomless Pit 171 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:38,435 Speaker 1: and the opening of Pandora's Box, the decision got next 172 00:11:38,435 --> 00:11:40,835 Speaker 1: to no coverage in the right wing media, almost nothing 173 00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:44,595 Speaker 1: in the media in the middle, and a lot less 174 00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:49,915 Speaker 1: than necessary on the media in the left. So what 175 00:11:49,955 --> 00:11:52,155 Speaker 1: are we going to do about it? What are you 176 00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:56,795 Speaker 1: gonna do about it, turned to free speech advocates. These 177 00:11:56,875 --> 00:12:01,755 Speaker 1: were the free speech advocates. The lawyer for the humunculous 178 00:12:01,795 --> 00:12:05,755 Speaker 1: who filed the Citizens United suit David boss See, was 179 00:12:05,835 --> 00:12:09,715 Speaker 1: Floyd Abrams. Floyd Abrams, who had spent his life up 180 00:12:09,755 --> 00:12:13,555 Speaker 1: to that point defending American freedom, especially freedom of speech. 181 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,915 Speaker 1: Apparently this life was spent that way in order to 182 00:12:16,955 --> 00:12:20,795 Speaker 1: guarantee that, when it really counted, Floyd Abrams could help 183 00:12:20,795 --> 00:12:26,955 Speaker 1: the corporations destroy free speech. His argument, translated from his 184 00:12:26,995 --> 00:12:30,435 Speaker 1: own self satisfied legal jargon, was that as a function 185 00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:32,875 Speaker 1: of the First Amendment, you must allow for the raping 186 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:35,235 Speaker 1: and pillaging of the First Amendment by people who can 187 00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:39,355 Speaker 1: buy the First Amendment. Floyd Abrams will go down in 188 00:12:39,435 --> 00:12:41,955 Speaker 1: the history books. Is the quizzling of freedom of speech 189 00:12:41,955 --> 00:12:45,035 Speaker 1: in this country? That is, if the corporations who now 190 00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:49,355 Speaker 1: buy the school boards which decide which history books get printed, 191 00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:54,915 Speaker 1: approve if there are still history books, if there are 192 00:12:54,915 --> 00:12:59,755 Speaker 1: still public schools. So what are you gonna do about it? 193 00:13:01,835 --> 00:13:05,115 Speaker 1: Russ fine Gold told me that day that there might 194 00:13:05,195 --> 00:13:08,595 Speaker 1: yet be ways to work around Citizens United to restrict 195 00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:12,395 Speaker 1: corporate governance and how corporations make and spend their money, 196 00:13:13,115 --> 00:13:15,595 Speaker 1: and I pointed out that any such legislation, even if 197 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,795 Speaker 1: it somehow sneaked past the last US Senate not funded 198 00:13:18,795 --> 00:13:22,355 Speaker 1: by a generous gift from the Chub group, would eventually 199 00:13:22,395 --> 00:13:24,355 Speaker 1: wind up in front of a Supreme Court, and whether 200 00:13:24,435 --> 00:13:26,755 Speaker 1: or not John Roberts were still at its head would 201 00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:29,075 Speaker 1: be irrelevant. The next nine men and women on the 202 00:13:29,115 --> 00:13:31,635 Speaker 1: Supreme Court would get there not because of their judgment 203 00:13:32,075 --> 00:13:34,315 Speaker 1: nor even their politics. They would get there because they 204 00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:40,555 Speaker 1: were appointed by purchased Republican president and confirmed by purchased 205 00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:47,195 Speaker 1: Republican senators. And that was an understatement. So that is 206 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:52,955 Speaker 1: what John Roberts did on January. This is a Supreme 207 00:13:52,955 --> 00:13:56,795 Speaker 1: Court sanctioned murder of what little actual democracy was left 208 00:13:57,195 --> 00:14:01,635 Speaker 1: in the American democracy, and almost foreseeably, it was also 209 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:05,755 Speaker 1: the attempted literal murder of Nancy Pelosi after Republicans were 210 00:14:05,915 --> 00:14:08,875 Speaker 1: permitted to spend because of Citizens United, a total of 211 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:12,715 Speaker 1: infinity dollars to make her the target of some demented 212 00:14:12,755 --> 00:14:14,955 Speaker 1: loser out there who turned out to be named David 213 00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:19,915 Speaker 1: de Pappi. It is government of the people by the corporations, 214 00:14:19,995 --> 00:14:22,555 Speaker 1: for the corporations. It is the dark ages. It is 215 00:14:22,555 --> 00:14:26,355 Speaker 1: our dread Scott. I would suggest a revolution, but a 216 00:14:26,395 --> 00:14:30,955 Speaker 1: revolution against the corporations, the corporations that make all the 217 00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,995 Speaker 1: guns and the bullets and have since gotten the red 218 00:14:34,035 --> 00:14:36,755 Speaker 1: States to fetishize the guns and the bullets, and the 219 00:14:36,795 --> 00:14:39,795 Speaker 1: people in them, to value the guns and the bullets 220 00:14:39,795 --> 00:14:42,235 Speaker 1: ahead of the lives of their own children who are 221 00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:48,475 Speaker 1: killed with those guns and bullets. Maybe right now is 222 00:14:48,515 --> 00:14:51,595 Speaker 1: as bad as it gets. Maybe the corporations legally defined 223 00:14:51,595 --> 00:14:54,715 Speaker 1: as human beings these last twelve years, but without the 224 00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:58,955 Speaker 1: pesky occasional human attributes of conscience and compassion. Maybe when 225 00:14:59,035 --> 00:15:04,035 Speaker 1: handed the only keys to the electoral machine, maybe they 226 00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:07,155 Speaker 1: have gotten an off with this redesign of America in 227 00:15:07,195 --> 00:15:11,835 Speaker 1: their own corporate image. Maybe they have found the full 228 00:15:11,915 --> 00:15:15,915 Speaker 1: move from flawed republican democracy to politics by guns and 229 00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:23,315 Speaker 1: hammers and zip ties unseemly and unnecessary. And somebody will say, whoa, 230 00:15:23,395 --> 00:15:28,915 Speaker 1: we can't actually have them killing Nancy Pelosi. But let 231 00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:31,515 Speaker 1: me leave you with a final question about this. If 232 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:36,355 Speaker 1: the corporations don't think this perversion of America that Citizens 233 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:39,355 Speaker 1: United let them create has given them all the power 234 00:15:39,435 --> 00:15:41,555 Speaker 1: and all the money they would ever want, and that 235 00:15:41,635 --> 00:15:44,235 Speaker 1: they in fact want more of both, and that they 236 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:48,515 Speaker 1: want every Democratic politicians knee caps broken by malignant idiots 237 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,835 Speaker 1: whom they brainwash stochastically to do it for them by 238 00:15:51,955 --> 00:15:55,595 Speaker 1: ad after ad after add after add on television. If 239 00:15:55,595 --> 00:15:58,875 Speaker 1: the corporations and the evangelicals and the Supreme Court and 240 00:15:58,915 --> 00:16:01,915 Speaker 1: the fascists and the Republicans and the Trump's decide they 241 00:16:01,955 --> 00:16:22,395 Speaker 1: want more, who's going to stop them? Still ahead, goddamn, 242 00:16:22,475 --> 00:16:24,875 Speaker 1: But you forget on top of everything else, what an idiot? 243 00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:30,915 Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas is the affirmative action debate in worse Finally, 244 00:16:30,955 --> 00:16:33,715 Speaker 1: a Republican candidate makes the mistake of saying where he 245 00:16:33,755 --> 00:16:37,355 Speaker 1: thinks that school is that installed litter boxes for a 246 00:16:37,395 --> 00:16:41,675 Speaker 1: student identifying as a cat. Since it's not true and 247 00:16:41,755 --> 00:16:45,635 Speaker 1: he mentioned their name, they may sue him and the 248 00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,915 Speaker 1: day in two thousand nine when Bill Maher and I 249 00:16:47,995 --> 00:16:50,395 Speaker 1: nearly got in a fist fight. Over the day in 250 00:16:51,475 --> 00:16:53,515 Speaker 1: when Bill Maher and I nearly got in a fist fight. 251 00:16:53,915 --> 00:16:56,355 Speaker 1: Things I promised not to tell coming up. That's next, 252 00:16:56,395 --> 00:17:11,035 Speaker 1: This ciscountdown. This is countdown with Keith still ahead on countdown. 253 00:17:11,075 --> 00:17:15,675 Speaker 1: The executive producers of two thousand Mules have been jailed. 254 00:17:16,275 --> 00:17:21,035 Speaker 1: Whoa and Finally, one of these Republican knit wicks makes 255 00:17:21,155 --> 00:17:25,115 Speaker 1: the mistake with the stupid litter box conspiracy theory. He 256 00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:29,475 Speaker 1: names a school, and I think the school's gonna sue 257 00:17:29,555 --> 00:17:32,355 Speaker 1: him for it. Plus, it took thirty one years to 258 00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:36,715 Speaker 1: figure out where I knew I knew Bill maher from. 259 00:17:36,715 --> 00:17:38,835 Speaker 1: There was nearly a fist fight. In fact, there were 260 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:43,595 Speaker 1: nearly two fist fights in two different centuries. Coming up 261 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,515 Speaker 1: in things I promised not to tell first though. In 262 00:17:45,555 --> 00:17:48,155 Speaker 1: each addition of Countdown, we feature a dog in need 263 00:17:48,195 --> 00:17:50,755 Speaker 1: whom you can help. Every dog has its day. Let's 264 00:17:50,755 --> 00:17:55,675 Speaker 1: go to Pearl in Nashville, Proverbs twelve ten. Rescue has her. 265 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:58,875 Speaker 1: She's a little malt Or poodle mix. Maybe she was 266 00:17:58,915 --> 00:18:02,395 Speaker 1: attacked by another dog in her home. Her jaw was broken. 267 00:18:02,435 --> 00:18:05,355 Speaker 1: The human doesn't have the money for surgery. Earl obviously 268 00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:07,515 Speaker 1: can't go back and live there, and they're trying to 269 00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:10,515 Speaker 1: cover at least three thousand dollars in expenses. If you 270 00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:14,115 Speaker 1: can help, they are on Twitter at t N Proverbs 271 00:18:14,195 --> 00:18:17,035 Speaker 1: twelve ten. Also, Pearl will be in the pin tweet 272 00:18:17,075 --> 00:18:20,475 Speaker 1: on my account for dogs in need at Tom Jumbo Grumbo. 273 00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:22,915 Speaker 1: Your pledge will be a great help, as will your 274 00:18:22,995 --> 00:18:33,195 Speaker 1: retweet of Pearl Story. Thank you. Postscripts to the news, 275 00:18:33,235 --> 00:18:37,755 Speaker 1: some headlines, some inside, some snark, Dateline, the Republicans, Supreme 276 00:18:37,795 --> 00:18:42,595 Speaker 1: Religious Court, Washington. We forget sometimes with his sexual harassment 277 00:18:42,675 --> 00:18:46,395 Speaker 1: scandal and his insurrectionist wife, and his constant alliances with 278 00:18:46,475 --> 00:18:51,515 Speaker 1: fascist politicians, that Justice Clarence Thomas is also an idiot 279 00:18:52,155 --> 00:18:56,195 Speaker 1: as Scrotum. I'm sorry. Scotus takes up the University of 280 00:18:56,195 --> 00:19:00,715 Speaker 1: North Carolina and Harvard affirmative action cases. Yesterday, Thomas asked 281 00:19:00,755 --> 00:19:04,315 Speaker 1: the lawyers, I've heard the word diversity quite a few times, 282 00:19:04,315 --> 00:19:06,915 Speaker 1: and I have a clue what it means. When one 283 00:19:06,955 --> 00:19:10,475 Speaker 1: of the lawyers defending affirmative action quoted studies indicating that 284 00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:14,435 Speaker 1: racially diverse stock trading groups actually make more money, that 285 00:19:14,475 --> 00:19:18,675 Speaker 1: there's tangible evidence that it works, Thomas replied, I guess 286 00:19:18,675 --> 00:19:20,995 Speaker 1: I don't put much stock in that, because I've heard 287 00:19:20,995 --> 00:19:26,715 Speaker 1: similar arguments in favor of segregation too. What a cartoon character, 288 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:31,155 Speaker 1: he is not a funny one. And Dateline Houston, Well, 289 00:19:31,195 --> 00:19:34,315 Speaker 1: this is more like it. To prominent election deniers and 290 00:19:34,355 --> 00:19:40,475 Speaker 1: conspiracy mongers have gone to jail. Katherine Engelbrecht and Greg Phillips, 291 00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:44,755 Speaker 1: True the vote, it's not just a conspiracy theory, it's 292 00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:48,835 Speaker 1: a grammatical nightmare. True. The vote claimed there was a 293 00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:54,555 Speaker 1: person who let them access the Connect Elections management software company, 294 00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:57,995 Speaker 1: but that person was a confidential FBI informant and they 295 00:19:58,035 --> 00:20:01,875 Speaker 1: couldn't name him. The judge ordered them to name that person. 296 00:20:01,955 --> 00:20:04,635 Speaker 1: They refused, with Philips saying he couldn't because of the 297 00:20:04,795 --> 00:20:08,675 Speaker 1: drug cartels. The judge said, what drug car tells? What 298 00:20:08,795 --> 00:20:10,715 Speaker 1: the hell do the drug cartels have to do with it? 299 00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:12,755 Speaker 1: They don't have anything to do with this. And they said, 300 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,395 Speaker 1: if you continue to refuse to tell me, I'm gonna 301 00:20:15,435 --> 00:20:17,955 Speaker 1: hold you in contempt and jail you and hot damn 302 00:20:18,035 --> 00:20:24,115 Speaker 1: yesterday the judge jailed them. Punchline. They are the executive 303 00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:27,995 Speaker 1: producers of the laugh Out Loud funny Denish to SUSA 304 00:20:28,155 --> 00:20:32,035 Speaker 1: Joint two thousand mules, the title of which actually simply 305 00:20:32,115 --> 00:20:50,475 Speaker 1: is there to describe to susa's house. This is Sports Center. Wait, 306 00:20:50,675 --> 00:20:59,515 Speaker 1: check that not anymore. This is countdown with Keith in Sports. 307 00:20:59,555 --> 00:21:02,675 Speaker 1: The NBA has yet to act against Kyrie Irving, the 308 00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:05,475 Speaker 1: Brooklyn Nets guard who seemed to him apply a threat 309 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:08,835 Speaker 1: of anti Semitic violence during a postgame press conference on 310 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,435 Speaker 1: Saturday night, Irving was grilled about having posted a link 311 00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:15,075 Speaker 1: to an anti Semitic movie and book, and he replied 312 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,715 Speaker 1: by saying, quote, I'm not going to stand down on 313 00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:21,075 Speaker 1: anything I believe in. I'm only going to get stronger 314 00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:24,835 Speaker 1: because I'm not alone. I have a whole army around me. 315 00:21:25,475 --> 00:21:28,915 Speaker 1: Kyrie Irving has gone through the Earth is Flat stage 316 00:21:29,195 --> 00:21:32,835 Speaker 1: in public, and then an anti vaccine stage in public, 317 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:36,595 Speaker 1: and now a the Jews control our thinking stage in public. 318 00:21:36,635 --> 00:21:38,155 Speaker 1: And while it would be nice to get him some 319 00:21:38,235 --> 00:21:40,475 Speaker 1: smarts or at least sit him down with the Anti 320 00:21:40,515 --> 00:21:44,115 Speaker 1: Defamation League, we really need to stop anti semitism in 321 00:21:44,155 --> 00:21:46,915 Speaker 1: this country right now. So I'm going to suggest banning 322 00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:49,915 Speaker 1: him from basketball for life and letting Kyrie Irving go 323 00:21:50,035 --> 00:21:53,475 Speaker 1: shout his crap on a street corner somewhere. Game three 324 00:21:53,475 --> 00:21:55,555 Speaker 1: of the World Series rained out last night, should be 325 00:21:55,595 --> 00:21:59,795 Speaker 1: clear in Philadelphia the next three nights, but Philadelphia is 326 00:21:59,995 --> 00:22:05,275 Speaker 1: infamous for World Series rainouts. Game five in two thousand 327 00:22:05,315 --> 00:22:09,075 Speaker 1: eight was suspended by rain, with water puddling in the 328 00:22:09,155 --> 00:22:12,595 Speaker 1: infield in the sixth inning on Monday night in Philadelphia, 329 00:22:12,875 --> 00:22:16,115 Speaker 1: and it was not resumed until Wednesday night. In Philadelphia. 330 00:22:16,755 --> 00:22:19,555 Speaker 1: Game four of the nineteen eleven World Series was scheduled 331 00:22:19,555 --> 00:22:23,115 Speaker 1: in Philadelphia for Wednesday, October eighteenth. Then it rained so long, 332 00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:26,515 Speaker 1: so hard that the game was not played until Tuesday, 333 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:31,595 Speaker 1: October six days later. Whenever they play again. The umpire 334 00:22:31,595 --> 00:22:34,595 Speaker 1: who's perfect score on balls and strikes behind the Playton 335 00:22:34,675 --> 00:22:38,835 Speaker 1: game to Saturday, has my apologies. His name is Pat Hoburg, 336 00:22:39,235 --> 00:22:43,075 Speaker 1: but I called him Pat Hoiberg, obviously confusing game either 337 00:22:43,155 --> 00:22:47,435 Speaker 1: with the Nebraska basketball coach Fred Hoiberg or Dr John 338 00:22:47,595 --> 00:22:51,755 Speaker 1: Zoidberg from Futurama. Now, this is a confusion common with 339 00:22:51,835 --> 00:22:54,675 Speaker 1: people of a certain age like mine, and it also 340 00:22:54,755 --> 00:23:09,315 Speaker 1: might step from simply, you know, watching too much Futurama. 341 00:23:11,875 --> 00:23:15,395 Speaker 1: Coming up, I knew that I knew Bill Maherr from somewhere, 342 00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:19,235 Speaker 1: but it took thirty one years to figure out exactly where, 343 00:23:19,875 --> 00:23:22,635 Speaker 1: and it almost ended up in a fist fight twice 344 00:23:23,355 --> 00:23:25,795 Speaker 1: things I promised not to tell. Coming up, First, it's 345 00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:28,835 Speaker 1: the daily roundup of the miscreants, the morons, the Dunning 346 00:23:28,915 --> 00:23:33,475 Speaker 1: Kruger Effex specimens who constitute today's worst persons in the world, 347 00:23:34,235 --> 00:23:38,115 Speaker 1: The Bronze Terror read the Big Lebowski, and American Pie 348 00:23:38,155 --> 00:23:42,075 Speaker 1: actress Halloween is over now, and thus so too is 349 00:23:42,115 --> 00:23:45,915 Speaker 1: her humiliation. Terror Read posted a photo of herself and 350 00:23:45,955 --> 00:23:48,635 Speaker 1: her Halloween costume, which was a red cat suit with 351 00:23:48,715 --> 00:23:51,515 Speaker 1: a dozen red playing cards on it, and her caption 352 00:23:51,755 --> 00:23:54,995 Speaker 1: was Queen of Hearts. I feel like a superhero in 353 00:23:54,995 --> 00:23:58,955 Speaker 1: this outfit unquote. One problem. The cards on her outfit 354 00:23:59,035 --> 00:24:04,915 Speaker 1: of Queen of Hearts are all diamonds, the bronze. Dr 355 00:24:04,995 --> 00:24:10,435 Speaker 1: Sherry Tenpenny, the osteopath of Olmstead Falls, Ohio. Dr Sherry 356 00:24:10,555 --> 00:24:15,475 Speaker 1: Tenpenny not only claimed COVID vaccines made people magnetic because 357 00:24:15,515 --> 00:24:19,155 Speaker 1: of the five G towers, she demonstrated it before the 358 00:24:19,195 --> 00:24:22,195 Speaker 1: State House of Representatives. She had a colleague try to 359 00:24:22,235 --> 00:24:24,435 Speaker 1: stick a key to her own neck, and of course 360 00:24:24,475 --> 00:24:29,915 Speaker 1: it fell off because people are morons. But now it 361 00:24:29,955 --> 00:24:34,555 Speaker 1: turns out that Doctor's Sherry Tenpenny is being investigated by 362 00:24:34,595 --> 00:24:38,035 Speaker 1: the Ohio State Medical Board. Nobody is saying why. It's 363 00:24:38,075 --> 00:24:42,235 Speaker 1: probably not just the magnetizing stuff. My guess is well, 364 00:24:42,275 --> 00:24:46,075 Speaker 1: by the way, she sells a book about her vaccine findings, 365 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:51,195 Speaker 1: and she sells a podcast, and she sells courses. We'll 366 00:24:51,235 --> 00:24:56,235 Speaker 1: see if any of the investigator's findings stick. But our winner, 367 00:24:56,275 --> 00:25:00,195 Speaker 1: the Republican fascist candidate for Senate from the Hampshire, Don Bulldock. 368 00:25:00,835 --> 00:25:02,595 Speaker 1: He is just the latest out of a couple of 369 00:25:02,635 --> 00:25:06,515 Speaker 1: dozen Republicans repeating this urban legend that their friend told 370 00:25:06,555 --> 00:25:09,235 Speaker 1: him his kid goes to this school where they let 371 00:25:09,235 --> 00:25:11,675 Speaker 1: the other kids identify as cats and had to put 372 00:25:11,675 --> 00:25:14,315 Speaker 1: in a litter box the cats. And so they go 373 00:25:14,435 --> 00:25:16,555 Speaker 1: in at ike and and they put mentos in a 374 00:25:16,635 --> 00:25:19,195 Speaker 1: coke can, and this one kid, he got shot all 375 00:25:19,235 --> 00:25:22,315 Speaker 1: the way to the moon. The problem here from Mr 376 00:25:22,315 --> 00:25:25,675 Speaker 1: bull Duck, who the National GOP packs have financially given 377 00:25:25,755 --> 00:25:29,755 Speaker 1: up on, and that is he named the school where 378 00:25:29,755 --> 00:25:31,635 Speaker 1: they were supposed to be doing this. It has come 379 00:25:31,675 --> 00:25:34,875 Speaker 1: to our attention, tweeted the Pinkerton Academy in Derry, New 380 00:25:34,915 --> 00:25:38,315 Speaker 1: Hampshire that at a recent event in Claremont, Don bull 381 00:25:38,395 --> 00:25:43,035 Speaker 1: Duck named Pinkerton in false claims suggesting that unhygienic, disturbing 382 00:25:43,075 --> 00:25:46,275 Speaker 1: practices are taking place in our classrooms and spaces on campus. 383 00:25:46,715 --> 00:25:49,795 Speaker 1: We want to assure our community that Mr bulldock statements 384 00:25:49,795 --> 00:25:53,635 Speaker 1: are entirely untrue. We invite all political candidates to speak 385 00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:56,795 Speaker 1: with members of our administration or visit our campus so 386 00:25:56,875 --> 00:26:01,235 Speaker 1: they can inform themselves about our school before making claims 387 00:26:01,315 --> 00:26:05,835 Speaker 1: about what occurs here. There's a lot of pleasant but 388 00:26:05,995 --> 00:26:10,675 Speaker 1: still legal language in their wire up. Done Done. I 389 00:26:10,715 --> 00:26:12,995 Speaker 1: wish I was making it up. I honestly wish it 390 00:26:12,995 --> 00:26:15,475 Speaker 1: was a Saturday Night Live skit. You did make it up, 391 00:26:15,475 --> 00:26:22,355 Speaker 1: you half wit bull duck. Two days worst person in 392 00:26:22,475 --> 00:26:34,395 Speaker 1: the world. Now to the number one story on the 393 00:26:34,395 --> 00:26:37,955 Speaker 1: Countdown and my favorite topic, me and things I promised 394 00:26:37,955 --> 00:26:41,555 Speaker 1: not to tell. We are now in November, meaning I 395 00:26:41,675 --> 00:26:45,595 Speaker 1: met Bill Maher twenty two years ago this month, or 396 00:26:46,075 --> 00:26:50,835 Speaker 1: did I? Sometime in nineteen eighty five or nineteen eighty six, 397 00:26:51,515 --> 00:26:54,515 Speaker 1: I saw a movie on Cable called d C. Cab. 398 00:26:54,635 --> 00:26:56,795 Speaker 1: There was a character, and it clearly the actor portraying 399 00:26:56,835 --> 00:26:59,435 Speaker 1: him was talented and funny, but for some reason I 400 00:26:59,475 --> 00:27:02,235 Speaker 1: felt like I knew him from somewhere, and I really 401 00:27:02,275 --> 00:27:05,715 Speaker 1: didn't like him. I remember the few was so strong 402 00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:08,475 Speaker 1: that I stuck around to watch the credits to find 403 00:27:08,475 --> 00:27:11,835 Speaker 1: out who he was. His name was Bill may Her 404 00:27:13,035 --> 00:27:16,035 Speaker 1: m A. H. E. R. Well. I had a teacher 405 00:27:16,155 --> 00:27:18,795 Speaker 1: named Bill Mayer, but his name had a y in it. 406 00:27:18,875 --> 00:27:21,915 Speaker 1: He was my advisor in high school. Now I wasn't him, 407 00:27:21,955 --> 00:27:24,395 Speaker 1: but I knew three things. He was talented, I didn't 408 00:27:24,475 --> 00:27:28,275 Speaker 1: like him, and I knew him from somewhere. This is 409 00:27:28,395 --> 00:27:30,595 Speaker 1: pre internet, of course, so no way to find out 410 00:27:30,635 --> 00:27:34,595 Speaker 1: where I knew him from. Hallowell's annual film guide would 411 00:27:34,635 --> 00:27:36,435 Speaker 1: be my best bet. Maybe he'd be in the new 412 00:27:36,475 --> 00:27:40,875 Speaker 1: one coming out. Checked calendar just eight or nine months 413 00:27:40,875 --> 00:27:44,355 Speaker 1: from now. Eventually I found out Bill Maher was in 414 00:27:44,395 --> 00:27:46,995 Speaker 1: the year ahead of mine at Cornell University. He was 415 00:27:47,035 --> 00:27:49,955 Speaker 1: not at my radio station, he was not in my college. 416 00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:52,915 Speaker 1: Maybe I knew him from a class somewhere. I could 417 00:27:52,995 --> 00:27:55,675 Speaker 1: never nail it down. I like to say I have 418 00:27:55,755 --> 00:27:59,315 Speaker 1: a photographic memory, but it's all polaroids, and I haven't 419 00:27:59,315 --> 00:28:03,115 Speaker 1: always bothered to label them. Almost everything that ever happened 420 00:28:03,195 --> 00:28:05,955 Speaker 1: is stuck inside this big empty head of mine. But 421 00:28:06,035 --> 00:28:10,035 Speaker 1: often key details like who, what, when, and where are 422 00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:15,515 Speaker 1: just missing. Never wrote him down, and honestly, in this case, 423 00:28:15,555 --> 00:28:18,795 Speaker 1: it was not worth the effort. I knew I was 424 00:28:18,795 --> 00:28:21,755 Speaker 1: was the right word. The word was aware of him 425 00:28:21,795 --> 00:28:24,835 Speaker 1: when we were both in college. Occasionally, especially after I 426 00:28:24,835 --> 00:28:29,555 Speaker 1: went from ESPN to MSNBC, a writer would note the 427 00:28:29,555 --> 00:28:32,755 Speaker 1: coincidence of university and years and asked me about it, 428 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:34,835 Speaker 1: and I would say just that. I don't remember if 429 00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:36,875 Speaker 1: he was in a class with me or I knew 430 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:42,155 Speaker 1: him somehow, But I was aware of Bill Maher. And 431 00:28:42,195 --> 00:28:44,715 Speaker 1: then twenty two years ago this month, no remember. Twenty three, 432 00:28:44,915 --> 00:28:48,595 Speaker 1: two thousand, I went on his old show, Politically Incorrect, 433 00:28:48,675 --> 00:28:51,475 Speaker 1: used to be the late night show on ABC. This 434 00:28:51,675 --> 00:28:53,755 Speaker 1: was when I was doing sports for Fox in l A. 435 00:28:53,875 --> 00:28:56,955 Speaker 1: And it was an all sports episode. Lennox Lewis, the boxer, 436 00:28:57,355 --> 00:29:00,835 Speaker 1: Mark Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Todd Zeal 437 00:29:00,915 --> 00:29:02,755 Speaker 1: the first basement of the New York Mets, and me 438 00:29:02,955 --> 00:29:06,595 Speaker 1: from Fox Sports. When I met Bill Maher before the show, 439 00:29:06,635 --> 00:29:08,635 Speaker 1: I asked him about Cornell and whether or not we 440 00:29:08,715 --> 00:29:10,675 Speaker 1: ran into each other. I didn't know anybody there. I 441 00:29:10,715 --> 00:29:13,195 Speaker 1: didn't see anybody. I didn't go comedy anywhere. I didn't 442 00:29:13,235 --> 00:29:17,275 Speaker 1: talk to anybody. I didn't meet you. Okay, excuse me. 443 00:29:17,515 --> 00:29:20,635 Speaker 1: That settles it. Except during the recording of the show, 444 00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:24,475 Speaker 1: when Mark contradicted me on some point, I got angry 445 00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:27,235 Speaker 1: at him, and there was no reason to get angry 446 00:29:27,275 --> 00:29:30,475 Speaker 1: at him, so I dismissed the anger and I dismissed 447 00:29:30,475 --> 00:29:33,075 Speaker 1: the moment. Except on the way home, I kept thinking 448 00:29:33,515 --> 00:29:38,075 Speaker 1: I know him from school somehow, no matter what he says, 449 00:29:38,555 --> 00:29:44,875 Speaker 1: and I know I didn't like him in school. In 450 00:29:44,955 --> 00:29:48,315 Speaker 1: the next decade, Bill switched to his weekly HBO political show, 451 00:29:48,355 --> 00:29:51,435 Speaker 1: and I went back and turned MSNBC into a political network. 452 00:29:51,435 --> 00:29:54,795 Speaker 1: And the Internet happened so that Cornell juxtaposition became easier 453 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:58,395 Speaker 1: for reporters to stumble over, so I would tell them 454 00:29:58,435 --> 00:30:01,235 Speaker 1: the same thing. I can't remember the details, but for 455 00:30:01,355 --> 00:30:04,275 Speaker 1: twenty years now I have been convinced I was aware 456 00:30:04,395 --> 00:30:09,115 Speaker 1: of Bill Maher at Cornell. Finally came the day March 457 00:30:09,955 --> 00:30:13,195 Speaker 1: thousand nine when they asked me to go on real 458 00:30:13,315 --> 00:30:17,595 Speaker 1: Time and Bill Maher Cornell University seventy eight asked me 459 00:30:17,755 --> 00:30:21,795 Speaker 1: Cornell University seventy nine, something about colleges, and I said, well, 460 00:30:21,835 --> 00:30:23,635 Speaker 1: as you know, we overlapped at Cornell, and I don't 461 00:30:23,635 --> 00:30:25,595 Speaker 1: know if we met, but I was aware of you there. 462 00:30:26,315 --> 00:30:29,795 Speaker 1: And he interrupted and said, no, you weren't, and I 463 00:30:29,875 --> 00:30:33,275 Speaker 1: just went back and answered his question. Now, after every 464 00:30:33,275 --> 00:30:36,555 Speaker 1: episode of his program, mar has or at least hand 465 00:30:36,595 --> 00:30:40,235 Speaker 1: a little party back stage, I mean catered with booze 466 00:30:40,795 --> 00:30:42,755 Speaker 1: and with more guests than there are people in the 467 00:30:42,755 --> 00:30:46,715 Speaker 1: studio audience, and usually a bunch of models, having done 468 00:30:46,755 --> 00:30:49,395 Speaker 1: that show four times, where they will fly you in 469 00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:51,235 Speaker 1: first class and put you up for the weekend in 470 00:30:51,395 --> 00:30:55,315 Speaker 1: l A just to do their show, and there's a party. 471 00:30:55,635 --> 00:30:58,435 Speaker 1: I began to suspect that, like many of the guests, 472 00:30:58,555 --> 00:31:01,515 Speaker 1: Bill Maher does the show just so he can have 473 00:31:01,675 --> 00:31:06,795 Speaker 1: the party anyway. Not long after it started, it overcomes 474 00:31:06,795 --> 00:31:09,955 Speaker 1: mar and he's mad at me. And mind you, even 475 00:31:09,995 --> 00:31:13,035 Speaker 1: if his allegation that he is five ft eight is correct, 476 00:31:13,315 --> 00:31:15,555 Speaker 1: I'm just under six four, so he's giving up a 477 00:31:15,555 --> 00:31:18,515 Speaker 1: lot of height during an argument, and he starts yapping 478 00:31:18,515 --> 00:31:20,315 Speaker 1: about how I should stop saying I was aware of 479 00:31:20,355 --> 00:31:22,715 Speaker 1: him at Cornell and I'm just trying to get publicity 480 00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:24,795 Speaker 1: off something that never happened. And who could remember that 481 00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:28,235 Speaker 1: kind of crap anyway? And he never talked to anybody 482 00:31:28,235 --> 00:31:30,555 Speaker 1: in four years in college because quote except for the 483 00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:34,715 Speaker 1: ethical high school students, I sold drugs too, unquote. And 484 00:31:34,755 --> 00:31:39,275 Speaker 1: I notice he's getting heated, and this is just triggering 485 00:31:39,755 --> 00:31:43,435 Speaker 1: that core belief of mine that I was aware of 486 00:31:43,515 --> 00:31:47,195 Speaker 1: him in college and I didn't like him, And now 487 00:31:47,195 --> 00:31:50,875 Speaker 1: it becomes clear to me he didn't like me either. 488 00:31:52,515 --> 00:31:55,395 Speaker 1: He's getting loud enough and he's swinging his arms around 489 00:31:55,475 --> 00:31:58,075 Speaker 1: now and it looks kind of funny, but apparently it 490 00:31:58,155 --> 00:32:01,555 Speaker 1: happens in the office sometimes. And this is when Scott Carter, 491 00:32:02,035 --> 00:32:04,755 Speaker 1: who was the executive producer, whom I definitely did know 492 00:32:04,995 --> 00:32:08,315 Speaker 1: since like when he worked at Comedy Central with my 493 00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:12,875 Speaker 1: friend Alan Haby, Scott Carter comes over to defuse the situation. 494 00:32:13,755 --> 00:32:15,915 Speaker 1: Scott was a three piece suit kind of guy with 495 00:32:15,955 --> 00:32:18,755 Speaker 1: the thumbs tucking the vest, who would call a group 496 00:32:18,755 --> 00:32:23,915 Speaker 1: of men fellows, as in say fellows. So Scott comes 497 00:32:23,955 --> 00:32:28,755 Speaker 1: over and says, say fellows with your Cornell alumni reunion here, 498 00:32:29,195 --> 00:32:31,875 Speaker 1: And of course this makes Bill Maher even angrier. Let 499 00:32:31,955 --> 00:32:34,035 Speaker 1: me ask you something. I used to drive down from 500 00:32:34,075 --> 00:32:37,275 Speaker 1: Hobart to see concerts at Cornell. Has to say, I 501 00:32:37,275 --> 00:32:39,795 Speaker 1: think Cornell was the leading concert school in the nation 502 00:32:39,835 --> 00:32:43,955 Speaker 1: back an our day. And now Scott starts the list 503 00:32:43,995 --> 00:32:46,995 Speaker 1: who he saw in concert at Cornell. Robert Palmer and 504 00:32:47,035 --> 00:32:50,595 Speaker 1: the famous Grateful Dead concert at Cornell at Barton Hall. 505 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:53,555 Speaker 1: He was there, and I say, I went to Springsteen, 506 00:32:53,675 --> 00:32:56,515 Speaker 1: and mar mumbles something about Loggins and Messina, and I 507 00:32:56,555 --> 00:32:59,515 Speaker 1: know what Carter is doing here. He's diffusing, and we 508 00:32:59,555 --> 00:33:02,595 Speaker 1: do a couple of rounds of who saw which Cornell concert? 509 00:33:02,595 --> 00:33:04,755 Speaker 1: And finally, I say, I can top both of you 510 00:33:04,875 --> 00:33:10,115 Speaker 1: comic geniuses. I saw Robert Klein in concert at Cornell. 511 00:33:11,675 --> 00:33:15,315 Speaker 1: Now it is criminal, but there's an excellent chance you 512 00:33:15,355 --> 00:33:19,635 Speaker 1: may not know who Robert Klein is, suffice to say, 513 00:33:20,115 --> 00:33:23,115 Speaker 1: as prominent a comedian in the sixties, seventies eighties as 514 00:33:23,155 --> 00:33:27,075 Speaker 1: George Carlin or Richard pryor HBO itself was built on 515 00:33:27,795 --> 00:33:32,395 Speaker 1: annual George Carlin concerts and annual Robert Klein concerts and 516 00:33:32,555 --> 00:33:36,115 Speaker 1: everybody else. And Robert Klein wasn't quite as deep or 517 00:33:36,195 --> 00:33:39,075 Speaker 1: eternal as George Carlin, but he was really on the 518 00:33:39,155 --> 00:33:42,755 Speaker 1: money during Watergate and during Reagan. So I say, I 519 00:33:42,835 --> 00:33:46,715 Speaker 1: saw Robert Klein in concert at Cornell, and Mark looks 520 00:33:46,715 --> 00:33:52,035 Speaker 1: at me funny and not angrily, and says quietly, I 521 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:55,875 Speaker 1: was at that too. I saw Robert Klein too, And 522 00:33:55,915 --> 00:33:59,195 Speaker 1: I don't really register that mars mood has now utterly changed. 523 00:33:59,555 --> 00:34:03,555 Speaker 1: He's not angry, he's confused. Well, I say I can 524 00:34:03,595 --> 00:34:07,235 Speaker 1: still top you, because after that concert I interviewed Robert Klein. 525 00:34:08,275 --> 00:34:11,795 Speaker 1: Now Bill Mahr starts to squint, and he looks at me, 526 00:34:12,115 --> 00:34:14,355 Speaker 1: and he looks at Scott Carter, and he looks back 527 00:34:14,395 --> 00:34:20,675 Speaker 1: at me, and he says, wait, I interviewed Kleine after 528 00:34:20,755 --> 00:34:24,515 Speaker 1: that concert too. And I'm smiling through all this and 529 00:34:24,555 --> 00:34:28,235 Speaker 1: smiling and smiling and smiling, and then suddenly, simultaneously it 530 00:34:28,315 --> 00:34:30,515 Speaker 1: hits Bill Maher and me at the same moment, in 531 00:34:30,555 --> 00:34:33,395 Speaker 1: the same fullness of detail, and I stopped smiling, and 532 00:34:33,435 --> 00:34:37,395 Speaker 1: I shout at Bill Maher, you and he pulls his 533 00:34:37,635 --> 00:34:40,515 Speaker 1: arms in towards his stomach and kind of bends forward 534 00:34:40,555 --> 00:34:42,635 Speaker 1: at the waist and covers his face with his hands, 535 00:34:42,675 --> 00:34:45,035 Speaker 1: and he says, oh God, I'm so sorry, Jesus, it 536 00:34:45,155 --> 00:34:48,995 Speaker 1: can't be I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And while the anger 537 00:34:49,515 --> 00:34:52,235 Speaker 1: wells up inside me so powerfully, I can almost see 538 00:34:52,235 --> 00:34:56,395 Speaker 1: it in my own eyeballs. Bill Maher's concert going producer 539 00:34:56,395 --> 00:35:01,395 Speaker 1: Scott Carter is really confused. Say, fellows, did I miss something? 540 00:35:01,995 --> 00:35:07,155 Speaker 1: Did I have a brief stroke or episode? And I say, Bill, 541 00:35:07,195 --> 00:35:10,755 Speaker 1: and I just remembered how I happened to be aware 542 00:35:10,995 --> 00:35:14,955 Speaker 1: of him in school. And Mars still has got his 543 00:35:15,035 --> 00:35:18,115 Speaker 1: hands over his face and people are looking at us, 544 00:35:18,315 --> 00:35:21,555 Speaker 1: and Bill is shouting apologies, and I say, you want 545 00:35:21,555 --> 00:35:25,035 Speaker 1: to tell him? Or should I and mar just shakes 546 00:35:25,075 --> 00:35:28,035 Speaker 1: his body no and mumbles, no, God, dude, I can't, 547 00:35:28,075 --> 00:35:31,035 Speaker 1: I can't, I can't, And it all came back to me. 548 00:35:31,675 --> 00:35:35,155 Speaker 1: For years, I would tell people the story of the 549 00:35:35,315 --> 00:35:41,115 Speaker 1: Robert Klein concert at Cornell University in our radio station 550 00:35:41,195 --> 00:35:44,355 Speaker 1: co sponsored his appearance along with the Cornell Concert Commission, 551 00:35:44,555 --> 00:35:48,115 Speaker 1: and in the contract we specified that a couple of 552 00:35:48,195 --> 00:35:50,635 Speaker 1: us real comedy nerds at the radio station would get 553 00:35:50,675 --> 00:35:53,875 Speaker 1: to go backstage afterwards and tape a brief ten or 554 00:35:53,955 --> 00:35:57,355 Speaker 1: fifteen minute interview with Robert Klein basically paid. We paid 555 00:35:57,395 --> 00:36:00,715 Speaker 1: him not much, but we paid him to do an interview. 556 00:36:01,675 --> 00:36:04,675 Speaker 1: And when my pal Andy Grossman and I get backstage 557 00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:06,675 Speaker 1: to talk to Robert Klein, and we have our two 558 00:36:06,715 --> 00:36:09,635 Speaker 1: microphones and two mike stands and three tape recorders, there 559 00:36:09,715 --> 00:36:14,555 Speaker 1: is this guy, this short guy, and he's yelling at 560 00:36:14,595 --> 00:36:17,435 Speaker 1: the chief of the Cornell Concert Commission, and he's yelling 561 00:36:17,515 --> 00:36:20,075 Speaker 1: at Robert Klein's manager, and he's demanding that he should 562 00:36:20,075 --> 00:36:22,555 Speaker 1: get to interview Robert Cline because like Klein, this kid 563 00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:25,115 Speaker 1: says he is a stand up comedian and he publishes 564 00:36:25,115 --> 00:36:27,355 Speaker 1: the Cornell Humor magazine. And he points at me and 565 00:36:27,355 --> 00:36:31,075 Speaker 1: he says he should get priority over these quote corporate 566 00:36:31,235 --> 00:36:38,355 Speaker 1: sellouts from the Cornell radio station. I hated him on site. 567 00:36:40,795 --> 00:36:44,435 Speaker 1: Oh wait, I say to him in and he's small 568 00:36:44,475 --> 00:36:47,395 Speaker 1: and he's got dirty, stringy hair and he's loud, and 569 00:36:47,475 --> 00:36:51,275 Speaker 1: I say, you're the publisher of the Cornell humor magazine, 570 00:36:51,315 --> 00:36:54,515 Speaker 1: the Cornell Widow. And he snorts and says, I wouldn't 571 00:36:54,515 --> 00:36:58,715 Speaker 1: get caught dead publishing that corporate sellout, Cornell Widow. And 572 00:36:58,755 --> 00:37:01,235 Speaker 1: so I say, oh so, then that means you're the 573 00:37:01,235 --> 00:37:05,195 Speaker 1: publisher of the Cornell Alternative humor magazine, the Not So 574 00:37:05,315 --> 00:37:07,755 Speaker 1: Big Red or whatever it is they call it. He says, 575 00:37:07,955 --> 00:37:12,075 Speaker 1: no way, they're corporate sellouts. I published this. And he 576 00:37:12,115 --> 00:37:16,195 Speaker 1: pulls out a stack of mimeograph pages stapled together and 577 00:37:16,195 --> 00:37:18,795 Speaker 1: there's like a drawing on the front of a naked 578 00:37:18,915 --> 00:37:24,955 Speaker 1: girl and handwritten it says it's his comedy magazine. And 579 00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:28,515 Speaker 1: I look at Robert Klein's manager and I say, so, 580 00:37:28,635 --> 00:37:31,555 Speaker 1: it's ten o'clock and if you leave now. While while 581 00:37:31,595 --> 00:37:33,995 Speaker 1: this idiot is screwing this up, the limo can still 582 00:37:34,035 --> 00:37:38,035 Speaker 1: get Mr Klein to Elane's in the city before it closes, right, 583 00:37:38,475 --> 00:37:41,915 Speaker 1: And the manager is wildly impressed. You know of Elanes, 584 00:37:42,475 --> 00:37:45,395 Speaker 1: and I said yes, and I felt like an adult. 585 00:37:46,075 --> 00:37:48,595 Speaker 1: I also said, if we give this guy five minutes 586 00:37:48,635 --> 00:37:50,475 Speaker 1: of our time right now while we're setting up our 587 00:37:50,475 --> 00:37:52,755 Speaker 1: tape recorders, can we still have ten minutes with Mr Klein? 588 00:37:53,315 --> 00:37:55,675 Speaker 1: And the manager says, good plan. I like the way 589 00:37:55,715 --> 00:37:57,915 Speaker 1: you think, and he points to the kid and gestures 590 00:37:57,915 --> 00:38:00,875 Speaker 1: for him to come along. No, the kid shouts, I 591 00:38:00,915 --> 00:38:05,555 Speaker 1: want half an hour. These corporate sellouts deserve nothing. And 592 00:38:05,675 --> 00:38:10,355 Speaker 1: now I'm getting angry. I say, buddy, so far all 593 00:38:10,395 --> 00:38:13,955 Speaker 1: the corporations in the world have paid me about a 594 00:38:13,995 --> 00:38:17,835 Speaker 1: hundred bucks. So I threatened him. Now, mind you, I 595 00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:20,675 Speaker 1: believe this is literally true. Since nine seven, when I 596 00:38:20,675 --> 00:38:22,795 Speaker 1: was eight years old, I have started two fist fights, 597 00:38:23,475 --> 00:38:27,515 Speaker 1: two in fifty five years. I am a man of peace. 598 00:38:28,155 --> 00:38:31,275 Speaker 1: I am loud, but I am a man of peace. 599 00:38:32,755 --> 00:38:38,115 Speaker 1: But I say to this guy, you now have two choices. Kid, 600 00:38:38,675 --> 00:38:41,595 Speaker 1: five minutes with Robert Klein or I hit you in 601 00:38:41,635 --> 00:38:45,715 Speaker 1: the face. And he runs to where clients manager is 602 00:38:45,715 --> 00:38:48,515 Speaker 1: still gesturing towards him, and he screams car Fred's out 603 00:38:48,515 --> 00:38:51,955 Speaker 1: out and he disappears to do his interview, and behind 604 00:38:52,035 --> 00:38:56,315 Speaker 1: him he leaves his little homemade nimiograph ten or twelve 605 00:38:56,355 --> 00:38:58,835 Speaker 1: page humor publication, and I pick it up, and I 606 00:38:58,915 --> 00:39:03,235 Speaker 1: read it and register it and dismiss it before I 607 00:39:03,315 --> 00:39:06,435 Speaker 1: leave the building. And if I had only remembered what 608 00:39:06,515 --> 00:39:09,115 Speaker 1: it said on the cover, all the years of mystery 609 00:39:09,155 --> 00:39:10,915 Speaker 1: and I was aware of him and all that would 610 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:14,035 Speaker 1: never have happened, because the cover of the magazine read 611 00:39:14,835 --> 00:39:21,795 Speaker 1: Bill Mars Comedy Magazine by Bill Maher. And now back 612 00:39:21,835 --> 00:39:26,075 Speaker 1: in well, technically this is correct, back in real time. 613 00:39:26,395 --> 00:39:28,875 Speaker 1: At the party in the Hollywood studio in two thousand nine, 614 00:39:28,915 --> 00:39:31,835 Speaker 1: the producer Scott Carter says nothing, and Bill Maher is 615 00:39:31,875 --> 00:39:35,795 Speaker 1: still doubled over in shame. And I say, are you 616 00:39:35,955 --> 00:39:39,715 Speaker 1: satisfied that I was aware of you? And he mumbles yes. 617 00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:44,435 Speaker 1: And I say, will you ever question my memory again? 618 00:39:45,155 --> 00:39:48,635 Speaker 1: And he mumbles no. And he says, if I need 619 00:39:48,715 --> 00:39:51,715 Speaker 1: him to do my show or a charity benefit or something, 620 00:39:51,755 --> 00:39:54,835 Speaker 1: just call. And he says he's ashamed, and he offers 621 00:39:54,835 --> 00:39:56,795 Speaker 1: me his hand to shake, and we shake, and finally 622 00:39:56,835 --> 00:39:59,035 Speaker 1: I say, and and by the way, Bill Maher, if 623 00:39:59,035 --> 00:40:02,115 Speaker 1: Bill Maher's Comedy Magazine by Bill Maher, are you a 624 00:40:02,155 --> 00:40:08,875 Speaker 1: corporate sellout? And he says, kinda and that's how I 625 00:40:08,955 --> 00:40:26,395 Speaker 1: was aware of Bill maher in college card Bread set 626 00:40:26,435 --> 00:40:30,075 Speaker 1: out I've done all the damage I can do here. 627 00:40:30,115 --> 00:40:32,075 Speaker 1: We did a little promotion yesterday. So if you are 628 00:40:32,075 --> 00:40:34,595 Speaker 1: a first time listener and you're still listening, thank you 629 00:40:35,155 --> 00:40:37,115 Speaker 1: and help me out spread the word. Tell somebody else 630 00:40:37,155 --> 00:40:39,955 Speaker 1: about this podcast, get them to follow it. Here are 631 00:40:40,035 --> 00:40:42,755 Speaker 1: our credits. Most of the music, including our theme, which 632 00:40:42,755 --> 00:40:46,235 Speaker 1: is Beethoven's ninth, was arranged, produced and performed by the 633 00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:49,195 Speaker 1: Great Brian Ray and the Great John Philip Chanel. They 634 00:40:49,195 --> 00:40:53,035 Speaker 1: are the Countdown musical directors. Brian has this side gig 635 00:40:53,075 --> 00:40:56,795 Speaker 1: with some guy named McCartney I think. All orchestration and 636 00:40:56,875 --> 00:41:00,035 Speaker 1: keyboards by John Philip Chanelle guitarist based on drums by 637 00:41:00,035 --> 00:41:03,635 Speaker 1: Brian Ray, produced by t Ko Brothers. Other Beethoven selections 638 00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:06,595 Speaker 1: have been arranged and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. 639 00:41:07,035 --> 00:41:10,035 Speaker 1: The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two 640 00:41:10,115 --> 00:41:12,315 Speaker 1: and it was written by Mitch Warren Davis and it 641 00:41:12,355 --> 00:41:16,395 Speaker 1: appears courtesy of my friends at ESPN Inc. Musical comments 642 00:41:16,395 --> 00:41:19,915 Speaker 1: were by Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium organist ever, 643 00:41:20,275 --> 00:41:23,715 Speaker 1: and our announcer today was Larry David everything else is 644 00:41:23,755 --> 00:41:27,395 Speaker 1: pretty much my fault. Let's countdown for this, the six 645 00:41:27,955 --> 00:41:31,155 Speaker 1: sixty day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the 646 00:41:31,195 --> 00:41:34,595 Speaker 1: democratically elected government of the United States. Arrest him now 647 00:41:34,715 --> 00:41:38,675 Speaker 1: while we still can. A new episode tomorrow. Until then, 648 00:41:38,675 --> 00:41:41,635 Speaker 1: I'm Keith Alderman. Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and 649 00:41:41,755 --> 00:41:50,595 Speaker 1: good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of 650 00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:54,155 Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, 651 00:41:54,315 --> 00:41:57,875 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 652 00:41:57,955 --> 00:41:59,235 Speaker 1: you get your podcasts.