Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big
Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. Happy New Year, Welcome to
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Welcome to a new year of the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me, Thanks for being here. I'm
Speaker 1: currently coming to you from perhaps the most beautiful place
Speaker 1: in the world. I'm in Japan, in Osaka, ringing in
Speaker 1: the new year with my family, my friends, my partner. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it felt like such a well deserved little break after
Speaker 1: how crazy last year was for me. We've been eating
Speaker 1: ramen and fried chicken every day, sleeping in, drinking a
Speaker 1: lot of beer, playing cards. I just feel so blessed,
Speaker 1: and I know that sounds so cheesy, but I think
Speaker 1: this time for me has been really appreciating how much
Speaker 1: I have to be grateful for. Moving into the new year,
Speaker 1: there were some significant life changes over the past twelve months,
Speaker 1: and of course I was just reflecting back on where
Speaker 1: I was at this time at the beginning of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three. Looking back specifically at my old journal entries
Speaker 1: from that time, and a lot of what I remember
Speaker 1: is this like distinct fear and anxiety. I had absolutely
Speaker 1: no idea what would happen. I was still working my
Speaker 1: corporate job, I was struggling. After my first year living
Speaker 1: in Sydney, was just like very heartbroken, and I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: feeling really aimless and lost. Nothing really seemed to have
Speaker 1: direction or purpose, and I just really couldn't have imagined
Speaker 1: that this much would have changed, that my entire life
Speaker 1: would be completely different a year later. Coming into twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, the new year is obviously such a pivotal
Speaker 1: time for so many of us to reflect on the past,
Speaker 1: to have that moment of introspection for how far we've come,
Speaker 1: but also perhaps how much further we would like to go.
Speaker 1: It feels so significant because it is this tangible new
Speaker 1: beginning for us, even though you know time year's days,
Speaker 1: there's such an arbitrary concept. I feel like just the
Speaker 1: psychological kind of narrative around a new year leaves us
Speaker 1: with a lot of expectations, a lot of big ambitions.
Speaker 1: And it's really interesting because I think this concept of
Speaker 1: a fresh start, that a new year brings has been
Speaker 1: acknowledged by cultures and societies for thousands of years. The
Speaker 1: Babylonians actually used to celebrate the new year and make
Speaker 1: new year's resolutions or like pledges to the gods and
Speaker 1: like promises that they would fulfill in order to ensure
Speaker 1: their crops were successful, that their children were healthy, to
Speaker 1: prevent famine. And this has been seen in just like
Speaker 1: so many cultures, just like reverence around the beginning of
Speaker 1: a new chapter. In like ancient Rome, they used to
Speaker 1: celebrate the God of new beginnings and transitions around this time.
Speaker 1: There's this really like rich history here that points to
Speaker 1: the kind of the universal significance that a new year brings.
Speaker 1: And this is what we're going.
Speaker 2: To discuss today, because this is the time of year
Speaker 2: four reflecting deeply on what we want for our lives.
Speaker 2: When we enter into a new year, we need to
Speaker 2: set our intentions, maybe in the form of new year's resolutions,
Speaker 2: but I actually think more powerful is setting our motives,
Speaker 2: redefining what we see as our purpose, what can we
Speaker 2: do in this new year, so that this time when
Speaker 2: we're next year, when entering twenty twenty five, we can
Speaker 2: kind of sit back and say, I made those changes.
Speaker 2: I invested in the right people, I invested in myself,
Speaker 2: in the right path, the right decisions. I took the
Speaker 2: risks that I needed to take for me. Each year
Speaker 2: seems to have a theme. Last year the theme was
Speaker 2: very much discovery. And this year is the year for
Speaker 2: taking risks. It is our year for kind of embracing fear,
Speaker 2: for embracing the unknown, not being afraid of the future,
Speaker 2: recognizing that we are in control. We are going to
Speaker 2: take accountability for creating our dream life. I think risk
Speaker 2: plays such an important role in this realization because as
Speaker 2: we get older, it becomes so much easier to just
Speaker 2: do what is convenient and easy, just take the path
Speaker 2: laid out in front of us. We become a lot
Speaker 2: less in our own decision making, and I think, to
Speaker 2: be honest, we just get used to being comfortable and
Speaker 2: not needing much else. But true growth and true happiness
Speaker 2: comes when we really push beyond what is comfortable, beyond
Speaker 2: what feels safe, to a place of expansion. Also, I
Speaker 2: say this a lot, but what is easy isn't always
Speaker 2: what is best. It's not necessarily going to get us
Speaker 2: to a fulfilled place. I believe so firmly in challenging
Speaker 2: what you expect your life to be, the kind of
Speaker 2: blueprint that society imposes on us, and just betting on
Speaker 2: yourself for a little bit, just taking a chance on
Speaker 2: your dreams, your grand ideas. And that's really I think
Speaker 2: what the focus of twenty twenty four is going to
Speaker 2: be for me, and I hope it's the focus for
Speaker 2: you as well. I want to give you an example
Speaker 2: of how risk has really kind of changed my life.
Speaker 2: For the longest time, I was convinced that in order
Speaker 2: to be happy, I really needed to pursue a very
Speaker 2: secure career, and I needed to push myself to move
Speaker 2: up the corporate ladder, that the financial security that that
Speaker 2: would bring would be fundamental to my peace of mind
Speaker 2: and my future. And last year, after months months of
Speaker 2: anxiety and worry, I think I realized that my notions
Speaker 2: and ideas about what would make me happy were incorrect
Speaker 2: because I was doing all the things that I thought
Speaker 2: was going to lead to satisfaction and fulfillment and the
Speaker 2: sense of security, and I was miserable. I was really miserable,
Speaker 2: and so I took the risk to quit my job
Speaker 2: to do what really truly made me feel fulfilled and
Speaker 2: kind of aligned with my reason for being on this planet.
Speaker 2: It wasn't without stress. In fact, it was probably more
Speaker 2: stressful than when i'd been at my corporate job, especially
Speaker 2: when it came to financial stability and being able to
Speaker 2: pay my rent and my bills. But I I think
Speaker 2: I knew that if I didn't do this, if I
Speaker 2: didn't take the leap, each year, each month that passed,
Speaker 2: it would just become harder for me to make that decision,
Speaker 2: and I would regret it. I would be somewhat haunted
Speaker 2: by the what if of the decisions that I didn't make.
Speaker 2: So I think there's this conundrum that we all face
Speaker 2: when we think about creating our dream life, when we
Speaker 2: think about the things that we really want to do,
Speaker 2: there is this inherent choice, this inherent kind of equation
Speaker 2: that we need to weigh up. Do I stay where
Speaker 2: I am and remain safe and sure of my surroundings
Speaker 2: but possibly regret my decisions later in life or kind
Speaker 2: of mourn the life I could have lived. Or do
Speaker 2: I choose to be brave? Do I choose to see
Speaker 2: what happens? Maybe I'm rewarded for my risk, but if
Speaker 2: I fail at least I end up back in the
Speaker 2: same place I was before with the knowledge that I tried.
Speaker 2: That is a really common, I think meant conundrum that
Speaker 2: we go through is we have these two paths, and
Speaker 2: risk obviously requires giving up something. Risk requires maybe giving
Speaker 2: up a previous dream that you've outgrown, giving up those
Speaker 2: parts of your life that you are comfortable with, giving
Speaker 2: up financial stability, giving up friends, giving up relationships. But
Speaker 2: there are so many benefits and so many rewards that
Speaker 2: come from that. And I think that there are so
Speaker 2: many areas in life that we can choose to take risks.
Speaker 2: We can go back to school, we can take a
Speaker 2: year off to go solo traveling, we can move to
Speaker 2: a new city, start a new business, a side hustle,
Speaker 2: a hobby, whatever it may be. And we can also
Speaker 2: choose to take a risk around being more honest with
Speaker 2: people about how we feel, asking people out, dating more,
Speaker 2: introducing yourself to strangers, going to things alone, initiating difficult conversations. Obviously,
Speaker 2: this is not a full list of the risks that
Speaker 2: I consider important, but these are the risks that are
Speaker 2: especially in our twenties, I think we kind of have
Speaker 2: a duty to take. You are never going to be
Speaker 2: this free or this inhibited again. Mistakes are also an
Speaker 2: in built part of this decade. They are in many
Speaker 2: ways expected from us. So people give you a lot
Speaker 2: more of what I would call a pass. If you
Speaker 2: are to make the wrong decision, at least you gave
Speaker 2: it a go. A lot of people cannot say that.
Speaker 2: A lot of people live with the mistake of not
Speaker 2: taking a chance on themselves for their entire lives. I
Speaker 2: want to talk about one of my favorite studies of
Speaker 2: all time here. There was this study that examined the
Speaker 2: power and kind of the psychology of regret and the
Speaker 2: impact of the decisions that people didn't make on their
Speaker 2: psyche in the future. What they found is that you
Speaker 2: are more likely to regret a decision that you didn't
Speaker 2: make versus one that you did. Across thousands of people,
Speaker 2: there were so many of them that expressed more regret
Speaker 2: for the risks that they didn't take compared to the
Speaker 2: ones that they did. Actually, twenty four percent of participants
Speaker 2: regretted the things that they did do and seventy six
Speaker 2: regretted the things that they didn't do. So I think
Speaker 2: this study is important when we consider how we're going
Speaker 2: to approach risk taking in the new year, because it
Speaker 2: highlights the dangers of inaction, and not even just in action,
Speaker 2: but a denial of your dreams, a denial of that
Speaker 2: urge of what you know deeply is going to make
Speaker 2: you happy. It is really such a tragedy to imagine
Speaker 2: yourself on your deathbed, realizing that there is nothing you
Speaker 2: can do to undo the past, but wishing that you
Speaker 2: had been brave when it counted. And I think being
Speaker 2: brave when it counted is something that we don't always
Speaker 2: understand or recognize until it's in hindsight. We often don't
Speaker 2: realize the opportunities that we have because they are so
Speaker 2: scary to us until it's too late. And I really
Speaker 2: want to encourage you to be open to what might
Speaker 2: be coming to you in this new year that you
Speaker 2: might discredit because it is too scary that you might
Speaker 2: immediately say no to. Regardless of this understanding of the
Speaker 2: benefit of risk, even if we appreciate that this could
Speaker 2: be our future, sometimes we experience a lot of cognitive
Speaker 2: dissonance around the many choices that we need to make
Speaker 2: in our twenties. So cognitive dissonance in psychology refers to
Speaker 2: this kind of mental discomfort experienced when we hold two
Speaker 2: contradictory beliefs or ideas or values. I think that really
Speaker 2: applies to the dreams that we have. So we might
Speaker 2: see ourselves in one way as someone who was really
Speaker 2: motivated by corporate success. We really want to raise a family,
Speaker 2: we really want to perhaps pursue a quite traditional life.
Speaker 2: That is one belief that you have about yourself. But
Speaker 2: another belief is that you want to be a bit
Speaker 2: of a vagabound, that you are someone who is really independent,
Speaker 2: really free spirited. You want to start your own business,
Speaker 2: you want to travel, and you kind of have these
Speaker 2: two choices right and it feels like in this moment
Speaker 2: you have to make a decision. You have to make
Speaker 2: a decision right now, and making a decision requires you
Speaker 2: to give up on one of those paths. But you
Speaker 2: have to think about the timing of your dreams in
Speaker 2: this moment. I have this saying that you can be
Speaker 2: everything that you want to be, but you can't be
Speaker 2: at all at once. When we think about the things
Speaker 2: that we want from our lives, we have to consider
Speaker 2: what can be postponed, what actually may be better to
Speaker 2: hold off on, whereas what is best for you right now?
Speaker 2: When would it be the best time to do these things?
Speaker 2: I think when it comes to a lot of those
Speaker 2: adventurous dreams that particularly people in our of twenties really harbor,
Speaker 2: time to do those things is right now. It is
Speaker 2: literally right now. Most of us do not have children,
Speaker 2: we do not have mortgages, we have exited our education pipeline.
Speaker 2: We've either graduated high school or university. And it's in
Speaker 2: those moments of fear and kind of like the question
Speaker 2: of what am I going to do with my life
Speaker 2: from here on out that we need to be adventuring
Speaker 2: and discovering and willing to branch out. It's not to
Speaker 2: say that you can never do these things once you're
Speaker 2: past a certain age, but simply that you have to
Speaker 2: be able to make hard calls about what you want
Speaker 2: now that may mean that you are going to delay
Speaker 2: some of the other things in your life till later. Still,
Speaker 2: in those moments, I do think fear is our biggest enemy.
Speaker 2: The saying always goes fear is the killer of dreams
Speaker 2: that I don't think that has ever been more true
Speaker 2: than when it comes to dreams that require risk, Because
Speaker 2: the essential premise of risk is that the outcome is unknown.
Speaker 2: And it is the fact that the outcome is unknown
Speaker 2: that makes it so scary, but also that makes it
Speaker 2: so exciting exciting because yeah, it could grow terribly, but
Speaker 2: also it could go incredibly well. You have no expectations,
Speaker 2: you have no idea of what's going to come next,
Speaker 2: and that just leaves so much room for surprises and
Speaker 2: room for excitement, and room for the unexpected. What I
Speaker 2: really want to discuss, though, is some of the things
Speaker 2: that kind of hold us back, some of the fears
Speaker 2: that keep us in a place of comfort, keep us
Speaker 2: in a place of stability, and how we're going to
Speaker 2: push back against that anxiety or perhaps that passivity this year,
Speaker 2: how we're going to embrace risk in all its forms,
Speaker 2: from small to big in twenty twenty four. So all
Speaker 2: of that and more. After this short break, I was
Speaker 2: reading this amazing book a while ago called Big Magic
Speaker 2: by Elizabeth Gilbert. You might know her. She is the
Speaker 2: author of that very famous book that came out a
Speaker 2: few years ago called Eat, Pray, Love, and she also
Speaker 2: has possibly one of the best TED talks of all time.
Speaker 2: It's titled Your Elusive Creative Genius, which quite frankly I
Speaker 2: think about at least once a week. I watch it always.
Speaker 2: But in her book Big Magic, what she really focuses
Speaker 2: on is the mental barriers that hold us back from
Speaker 2: realizing our best lives, because that's what fear really is.
Speaker 2: It's all about what's mental. It's all about our thoughts.
Speaker 2: It's all about how we interpret a situation rather than
Speaker 2: what it actually is. And I think it's this way
Speaker 2: of thinking, thinking from a place of fear, that keeps
Speaker 2: us buying into this feeling that we are small or
Speaker 2: not capable of doing what we've dreamed of. You are
Speaker 2: afraid of making a mistake. You're afraid that you have
Speaker 2: no talent. You're afraid that it will take too much
Speaker 2: time to get to where you want to be. But
Speaker 2: the thing is that that time is going to pass anyways,
Speaker 2: either you did something with it or you didn't. You're
Speaker 2: afraid of it not working out perfectly. That's especially the
Speaker 2: case for perfectionists, overachievers, people who have been taught to
Speaker 2: do things the right way. You are afraid of disappointing
Speaker 2: others or yourself. You're afraid that your dreams are embarrassing
Speaker 2: just because other people don't understand them. You're afraid that
Speaker 2: you don't have the right background, the right degree, the
Speaker 2: right education, that so many people have done it before you,
Speaker 2: that your dreams aren't special. You're afraid of being too late,
Speaker 2: and trust me, you are never too late. If you
Speaker 2: are still breathing. You're afraid because something went well in
Speaker 2: your life once, so nothing can possibly go right again.
Speaker 2: This is a huge cognitive distortion that a lot of
Speaker 2: us have, as if good things in life unlike it
Speaker 2: exists in a bank account, and we've withdrawn too much
Speaker 2: of the money, and so all of the good things
Speaker 2: in life, all of our I guess our balance of
Speaker 2: good things has been depleted. Life doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2: And I think the other thing that we're very afraid
Speaker 2: of is that you're going to give up things in
Speaker 2: your current life that you love and you won't be
Speaker 2: able to get them back. That in itself is a
Speaker 2: massive barrier for so many of us, a barrier to
Speaker 2: pursuing a life that it might actually be better for us.
Speaker 2: But like we said before, it's going to require sacrifice.
Speaker 2: Here is the important thing to remember. Fear is not
Speaker 2: real until it is realized. The easiest way for a
Speaker 2: fear to never be realized is to never do anything
Speaker 2: risky that will allow you to grow. You can stay
Speaker 2: in your safe bubble your entire life and never have
Speaker 2: to encounter any of those worries being realized. But at
Speaker 2: the end of your life, you're going to have to
Speaker 2: face an even bigger fear, the one that you let
Speaker 2: your life pass you by and you never did anything
Speaker 2: about it. You never did anything that was going to
Speaker 2: potentially make you happier. And with that comes a lot
Speaker 2: of bitterness around what could have been. What if my
Speaker 2: life had been different at this moment, and now there's
Speaker 2: nothing I can do about it. I worry about that
Speaker 2: all the time. It's that perspective of future me that
Speaker 2: really I think keeps me in a place of taking
Speaker 2: chances on myself. Of course, I think that doesn't mean
Speaker 2: that you should take every risk that comes across your plate,
Speaker 2: that you should do anything that you desire or act
Speaker 2: on every whim. There are obviously some risks that are
Speaker 2: more calculated, more practical, more meaningful than others, and then
Speaker 2: there are some that are just plain ridiculous. You know,
Speaker 2: you're not going to go and jump out of a
Speaker 2: plane and you've never done it before, Just because you're
Speaker 2: ready to embrace risk like that is not a smart risk,
Speaker 2: that is not one that is practical. But there are
Speaker 2: some risks that we call bounded. Bounded risks are amazing.
Speaker 2: The idea is that there are these types of risks
Speaker 2: that have limited downsides but unbounded upsides. Essentially, what that
Speaker 2: means is that although there are limited costs incurred, and
Speaker 2: yes there will be some cost time, money, missed opportunities
Speaker 2: to get this idea off the ground, the benefit is
Speaker 2: that there is no limit to the benefit. These are
Speaker 2: the risks that you should be taking. I think about
Speaker 2: them especially in terms of this podcast right or like
Speaker 2: content creation. So when I began this podcast, obviously I
Speaker 2: had to invest some time into buying a microphone and
Speaker 2: setting up a platform and creating episodes. But what I've
Speaker 2: realized now is that there was an unlimited benefit from
Speaker 2: being able to do something that I loved and engage
Speaker 2: with people and share and convert with people who really
Speaker 2: shared my passions. And then there are these risks that
Speaker 2: are called unbounded. These are not so great. There's other
Speaker 2: risks that we should avoid. So actually they're pretty terrible
Speaker 2: because these risks mean that you could lose everything. So
Speaker 2: compared to bounded risks, in which you can kind of
Speaker 2: control how much you lose, with unbounded risks, there is
Speaker 2: no limit to what you will have to give up,
Speaker 2: and so whilst the payoff might be potentially unlimited, it
Speaker 2: means that you're probably going to lose something pretty valuable
Speaker 2: in order to get there. Jumping out of a plane,
Speaker 2: that's a big one. If you've never skydive before, there
Speaker 2: is no limit to how much you could potentially lose
Speaker 2: in this situation, the limit being that you could lose
Speaker 2: your life, and the payoff is actually not really worth
Speaker 2: it right. Another one is like choosing to burn all
Speaker 2: your bridges at your previous workplace or with all your
Speaker 2: friends because it's going to leave you unmoored and allow
Speaker 2: you to make more friends. That is not a good risk.
Speaker 2: That is not a good risk before you lose a
Speaker 2: lot more than you seek to gain. So when we
Speaker 2: think about risks from this perspective, from kind of a
Speaker 2: cost benefit analysis kind of perspective, we really need to
Speaker 2: consider whether the decisions we're going to make are going
Speaker 2: to lead to a benefit that's going to outweigh the
Speaker 2: initial costs. It's important to be a little bit rational
Speaker 2: when we think about the risks that we want to
Speaker 2: take in our twenties, because although risk equalsphere, it does
Speaker 2: not equal complete abandonment of everything you love and care about.
Speaker 2: I really do believe once again that the most amazing
Speaker 2: growth will come out of the periods of greatest discomfort,
Speaker 2: where we really push ourselves and explore what's out there.
Speaker 2: But that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be
Speaker 2: silly about it, or you have to completely abandon or logic.
Speaker 2: Taking risk still requires judgment, and yes there are people
Speaker 2: who are more likely to take risks. That that doesn't
Speaker 2: necessarily mean that you should be doing things that you
Speaker 2: know aren't going to make you happy or aren't actually
Speaker 2: aligned just because you want to be free, just because
Speaker 2: you want to be uninhibited, just because you want to
Speaker 2: see what happens. I think that brings me to another
Speaker 2: important point. Risks don't have to be inherently spontaneous to
Speaker 2: be risky. They can also be planned. I think we
Speaker 2: often think about risks as being these things that are
Speaker 2: very impulsive that just kind of come to mind and
Speaker 2: we have to see them through. But you can take
Speaker 2: your time, you can be prepared. You can talk it
Speaker 2: through with family and friends, but the most important thing
Speaker 2: in that moment is to make sure that your preparation
Speaker 2: is not actually just an unconscious form of avoidance. You
Speaker 2: are never going to feel fully ready for anything. Ever,
Speaker 2: there will always be some doubt, there will always be
Speaker 2: something that you cannot account for. And often when we
Speaker 2: owe a plan and overthink that is really just an
Speaker 2: unconscious way of us choosing to avoid fear where we
Speaker 2: get stuck in this loop of being, of being like
Speaker 2: if I just know more, if I'm just if I
Speaker 2: have a few more days to prepare a few more months,
Speaker 2: the outcome is going to be better. That is not
Speaker 2: always the case. Things turn out how they're going to
Speaker 2: turn out, regardless of how much planning you put into it.
Speaker 2: So I think there are ways that we can become
Speaker 2: more familiar or comfortable with the idea of risk. Firstly,
Speaker 2: think about small risks you can take to prepare yourself
Speaker 2: for a bigger risk you know is going to come
Speaker 2: in your future. So, for example, if you want to
Speaker 2: go traveling or move to a new country for a
Speaker 2: year two years, take time to visit that country first,
Speaker 2: just to make sure that it's actually what you like,
Speaker 2: so you don't get over there and then realize that
Speaker 2: this was a huge mistake and you want to fly
Speaker 2: back home immediately. If you want to quit your job,
Speaker 2: go to a few networking events. Start your side hustle
Speaker 2: whilst you're still working to get a feel for it.
Speaker 2: Prepare yourself for risk. Don't deny yourself of the risk,
Speaker 2: but implement it in your daily life or aspects of
Speaker 2: it in your daily life. Before you take the full
Speaker 2: leap with any risk that involves giving up work, giving
Speaker 2: up opportunities, giving up education, giving up jobs, take a
Speaker 2: solid look at your finances before you choose to do that.
Speaker 2: Like I said before, sometimes you do have to be
Speaker 2: practical even if you're going to be risky. I did
Speaker 2: this at the start of last year, and it was
Speaker 2: really important to understand what the next few months of
Speaker 2: my life were all years even we're going to look like.
Speaker 2: So I didn't kind of just step off the deep
Speaker 2: end and there were suddenly not just so many unknowns,
Speaker 2: but so many ways that I could have been prepared mentally, financially, emotionally,
Speaker 2: and wasn't. I also think, instead of thinking about risk
Speaker 2: as these big decisions, we need to make that will
Speaker 2: forever all to our lives. Think about them as value
Speaker 2: realignment risks are a way for you to shift your
Speaker 2: life back in the direction that aligns with how you
Speaker 2: see yourself, with what you value from life, with what
Speaker 2: you want from your future. And maybe you've just become
Speaker 2: really detached from that in the past a year or two.
Speaker 2: Perhaps you see yourself as a creative someone who has
Speaker 2: like a real true fire in their belly for producing
Speaker 2: work that really moves people from expressing their imagination. But
Speaker 2: at the moment you've been really caught up in finishing
Speaker 2: your business degree that you haven't made time to pursue
Speaker 2: those parts of you. Maybe the risk you need to
Speaker 2: take then is to move out of your comfort zone
Speaker 2: and pursue this more deeply by carving out time to
Speaker 2: do it, by setting yourself long term goals in which
Speaker 2: you're going to realign how you're living your life with
Speaker 2: how you wish you were living your life. Maybe you
Speaker 2: also value being really adventurous and a bit of a nomad,
Speaker 2: but you perhaps felt a little bit stuck post COVID
Speaker 2: you feel the need to work full time to make
Speaker 2: money for your dreams. The risk you need to take
Speaker 2: is to just get back out there. Normally, when we are,
Speaker 2: like I said, overplanning, over preparing, what we're really fearing
Speaker 2: in those moments is not being unprepared, it's being uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: So you kind of have to get comfortable with being
Speaker 2: uncomfortable and kind of say, you know, fuck it, this
Speaker 2: is actually what I want from my life, even if
Speaker 2: it's difficult at times, even if people don't understand it.
Speaker 2: I'm at this point where I can ever choose to
Speaker 2: deny myself that dream or that vision for my life,
Speaker 2: or I can choose to embrace it. Risks are really
Speaker 2: not just a catalyst for change, but a catalyst for
Speaker 2: realigning your true self with your actual self, making yourself
Speaker 2: off the path that everyone else wants you to live
Speaker 2: and back onto the path that you want to live.
Speaker 2: So I want to talk about some of the risks
Speaker 2: that I'm gonna take this year to finish it off.
Speaker 2: I really want to solo travel. I used to be
Speaker 2: completely terrified of planes, and it meant that when everyone
Speaker 2: else around me was taking those times to do their
Speaker 2: Europe trips or their Southeast Asia trips, I was kind
Speaker 2: of stuck at home because I was too scared to
Speaker 2: embark on this journey, mainly just like the first fourteen
Speaker 2: hours of the journey on the plane, So I think
Speaker 2: that I regret not having those experiences that a lot
Speaker 2: of my friends have been able to have. So I
Speaker 2: really want to solo travel this year. I really want
Speaker 2: to get into a position where I can live alone
Speaker 2: and force myself to make that decision when the time comes,
Speaker 2: rather than just reverting to living with friends or living
Speaker 2: with a partner. I think that I really want that
Speaker 2: space to know myself even though I'm scared of being lonely,
Speaker 2: and I really want to set myself a really big
Speaker 2: athletic goal that might not sound like a risk for
Speaker 2: a lot of people, but I think my fear has
Speaker 2: always been of failing or embarrassing myself, of not meeting
Speaker 2: people's expectations for what someone who participates in these activities
Speaker 2: looks like, not being fit enough to do it or
Speaker 2: to fit in, and that's really kept me and helped
Speaker 2: me back from participating in activities that I think I
Speaker 2: otherwise would have really loved and would have made a
Speaker 2: lot of friends from. That's what I want to do
Speaker 2: this year. I want to challenge myself to not be
Speaker 2: constantly worrying about what other people think about me and
Speaker 2: my behaviors and my actions, and just do it. Anyways,
Speaker 2: one final reminder before we wrap up this episode. You
Speaker 2: have a responsibility to yourself to actually just do things,
Speaker 2: to make decisions that might leave you feeling temporarily a
Speaker 2: little bit out of place, but will significantly change your life,
Speaker 2: will set you on a new course. No one is
Speaker 2: going to come and suddenly make your life amazing for
Speaker 2: you. You are the only one that can do that. And
Speaker 2: maybe not everyone will understand your motivations. Maybe you don't
Speaker 2: even know what risk would look like for you in
Speaker 2: this year. It doesn't matter, though, because in this life
Speaker 2: you can choose to be comfortable or you can choose
Speaker 2: to grow. I know I've said it so many times
Speaker 2: throughout this but I do think that we need the
Speaker 2: reminder that when we buy into fear, we also buy
Speaker 2: into dissatisfaction and we buy into regret and that's not
Speaker 2: something that I think we want to live with. And
Speaker 2: if you're not quite sure what it means to you
Speaker 2: to take a risk, what you would take a risk towards,
Speaker 2: leave yourself open to opportunity. And when I say leave
Speaker 2: yourself open to opportunity. What that really means is that
Speaker 2: be prepared to say yes to things in the moment,
Speaker 2: be prepared to just be open to the idea that
Speaker 2: your expectations for what you wanted your life to look
Speaker 2: like might change and might not be the same. And
Speaker 2: also put yourself in situations where you can be challenged.
Speaker 2: Go and try new things, interact with new types of people,
Speaker 2: Look for new jobs that you might be interested in,
Speaker 2: even if you're not even going to apply for them.
Speaker 2: You know, watch travel blogs of people doing really cool things.
Speaker 2: Think about the things that you loved maybe in childhood,
Speaker 2: the dreams you had in childhood that you've kind of neglected,
Speaker 2: that you've forgotten about. It's a really good way to,
Speaker 2: I think, really tune into what you want from your
Speaker 2: life that you've maybe neglected. So I want to say officially,
Speaker 2: welcome to your year for taking risks in whatever capacity
Speaker 2: you choose to do that. Welcome. I'm so excited to
Speaker 2: hear from you about what are the risks you are
Speaker 2: going to take in twenty twenty four. What are the
Speaker 2: things that you are going to realize or at least
Speaker 2: just explore this year. How are you going to push
Speaker 2: past your fear and your anxiety to maybe discover something
Speaker 2: about yourself that you never knew. I'm really excited to
Speaker 2: see what that means, not just for me, but for
Speaker 2: all of you, my lovely listeners. I'm so excited for
Speaker 2: this year. It's just crazy how fast time is going.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to think about it too much. I
Speaker 2: feel like that will lead me into such an existential spiral.
Speaker 2: But I also just want to say thank you so
Speaker 2: much for your support in twenty twenty three. My entire
Speaker 2: life truly did change, and that would not have been
Speaker 2: possible without you, every single one of you, who listens
Speaker 2: every single week, who supports me in silent ways, who
Speaker 2: shares episodes with friends. It's just mind blowing that I
Speaker 2: have this community, and every day I'm just so grateful
Speaker 2: for it. I'm so grateful for it. I really don't
Speaker 2: have the words, so I guess I'll just say one
Speaker 2: more time, thank you so much, and hopefully I will
Speaker 2: see more of you this year. I will see more
Speaker 2: of you in twenty twenty four. If you enjoyed this episode,
Speaker 2: please feel free to leave a five star review on
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening right now. Share
Speaker 2: it with a friend if this is what they need
Speaker 2: to hear. Make sure you're following for all of our
Speaker 2: new episodes this year, and we will be back next
Speaker 2: week with another episode. Happy New Year.