1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. Happy New Year, Welcome to 6 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Welcome to a new year of the podcast. 7 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me, Thanks for being here. I'm 8 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: currently coming to you from perhaps the most beautiful place 9 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 1: in the world. I'm in Japan, in Osaka, ringing in 10 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:52,839 Speaker 1: the new year with my family, my friends, my partner. Honestly, 11 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: it felt like such a well deserved little break after 12 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,360 Speaker 1: how crazy last year was for me. We've been eating 13 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: ramen and fried chicken every day, sleeping in, drinking a 14 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: lot of beer, playing cards. I just feel so blessed, 15 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: and I know that sounds so cheesy, but I think 16 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: this time for me has been really appreciating how much 17 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: I have to be grateful for. Moving into the new year, 18 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: there were some significant life changes over the past twelve months, 19 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: and of course I was just reflecting back on where 20 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: I was at this time at the beginning of twenty 21 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,559 Speaker 1: twenty three. Looking back specifically at my old journal entries 22 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: from that time, and a lot of what I remember 23 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 1: is this like distinct fear and anxiety. I had absolutely 24 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: no idea what would happen. I was still working my 25 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: corporate job, I was struggling. After my first year living 26 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: in Sydney, was just like very heartbroken, and I'll be honest, 27 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: feeling really aimless and lost. Nothing really seemed to have 28 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: direction or purpose, and I just really couldn't have imagined 29 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: that this much would have changed, that my entire life 30 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: would be completely different a year later. Coming into twenty 31 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: twenty four, the new year is obviously such a pivotal 32 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: time for so many of us to reflect on the past, 33 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 1: to have that moment of introspection for how far we've come, 34 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: but also perhaps how much further we would like to go. 35 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: It feels so significant because it is this tangible new 36 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: beginning for us, even though you know time year's days, 37 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: there's such an arbitrary concept. I feel like just the 38 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,920 Speaker 1: psychological kind of narrative around a new year leaves us 39 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: with a lot of expectations, a lot of big ambitions. 40 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 1: And it's really interesting because I think this concept of 41 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: a fresh start, that a new year brings has been 42 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: acknowledged by cultures and societies for thousands of years. The 43 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,679 Speaker 1: Babylonians actually used to celebrate the new year and make 44 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: new year's resolutions or like pledges to the gods and 45 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: like promises that they would fulfill in order to ensure 46 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: their crops were successful, that their children were healthy, to 47 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: prevent famine. And this has been seen in just like 48 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: so many cultures, just like reverence around the beginning of 49 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: a new chapter. In like ancient Rome, they used to 50 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: celebrate the God of new beginnings and transitions around this time. 51 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: There's this really like rich history here that points to 52 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: the kind of the universal significance that a new year brings. 53 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: And this is what we're going. 54 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 2: To discuss today, because this is the time of year 55 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: four reflecting deeply on what we want for our lives. 56 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 2: When we enter into a new year, we need to 57 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: set our intentions, maybe in the form of new year's resolutions, 58 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 2: but I actually think more powerful is setting our motives, 59 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 2: redefining what we see as our purpose, what can we 60 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 2: do in this new year, so that this time when 61 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: we're next year, when entering twenty twenty five, we can 62 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 2: kind of sit back and say, I made those changes. 63 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 2: I invested in the right people, I invested in myself, 64 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 2: in the right path, the right decisions. I took the 65 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,119 Speaker 2: risks that I needed to take for me. Each year 66 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 2: seems to have a theme. Last year the theme was 67 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 2: very much discovery. And this year is the year for 68 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 2: taking risks. It is our year for kind of embracing fear, 69 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 2: for embracing the unknown, not being afraid of the future, 70 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 2: recognizing that we are in control. We are going to 71 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 2: take accountability for creating our dream life. I think risk 72 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 2: plays such an important role in this realization because as 73 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 2: we get older, it becomes so much easier to just 74 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 2: do what is convenient and easy, just take the path 75 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: laid out in front of us. We become a lot 76 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: less in our own decision making, and I think, to 77 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 2: be honest, we just get used to being comfortable and 78 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 2: not needing much else. But true growth and true happiness 79 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 2: comes when we really push beyond what is comfortable, beyond 80 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 2: what feels safe, to a place of expansion. Also, I 81 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 2: say this a lot, but what is easy isn't always 82 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 2: what is best. It's not necessarily going to get us 83 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 2: to a fulfilled place. I believe so firmly in challenging 84 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 2: what you expect your life to be, the kind of 85 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: blueprint that society imposes on us, and just betting on 86 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 2: yourself for a little bit, just taking a chance on 87 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 2: your dreams, your grand ideas. And that's really I think 88 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: what the focus of twenty twenty four is going to 89 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 2: be for me, and I hope it's the focus for 90 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: you as well. I want to give you an example 91 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,360 Speaker 2: of how risk has really kind of changed my life. 92 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 2: For the longest time, I was convinced that in order 93 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 2: to be happy, I really needed to pursue a very 94 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 2: secure career, and I needed to push myself to move 95 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 2: up the corporate ladder, that the financial security that that 96 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: would bring would be fundamental to my peace of mind 97 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: and my future. And last year, after months months of 98 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 2: anxiety and worry, I think I realized that my notions 99 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 2: and ideas about what would make me happy were incorrect 100 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 2: because I was doing all the things that I thought 101 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 2: was going to lead to satisfaction and fulfillment and the 102 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 2: sense of security, and I was miserable. I was really miserable, 103 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 2: and so I took the risk to quit my job 104 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 2: to do what really truly made me feel fulfilled and 105 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 2: kind of aligned with my reason for being on this planet. 106 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 2: It wasn't without stress. In fact, it was probably more 107 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 2: stressful than when i'd been at my corporate job, especially 108 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 2: when it came to financial stability and being able to 109 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 2: pay my rent and my bills. But I I think 110 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 2: I knew that if I didn't do this, if I 111 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 2: didn't take the leap, each year, each month that passed, 112 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 2: it would just become harder for me to make that decision, 113 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 2: and I would regret it. I would be somewhat haunted 114 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 2: by the what if of the decisions that I didn't make. 115 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 2: So I think there's this conundrum that we all face 116 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: when we think about creating our dream life, when we 117 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 2: think about the things that we really want to do, 118 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 2: there is this inherent choice, this inherent kind of equation 119 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 2: that we need to weigh up. Do I stay where 120 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 2: I am and remain safe and sure of my surroundings 121 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: but possibly regret my decisions later in life or kind 122 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 2: of mourn the life I could have lived. Or do 123 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 2: I choose to be brave? Do I choose to see 124 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: what happens? Maybe I'm rewarded for my risk, but if 125 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 2: I fail at least I end up back in the 126 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 2: same place I was before with the knowledge that I tried. 127 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: That is a really common, I think meant conundrum that 128 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: we go through is we have these two paths, and 129 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 2: risk obviously requires giving up something. Risk requires maybe giving 130 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 2: up a previous dream that you've outgrown, giving up those 131 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 2: parts of your life that you are comfortable with, giving 132 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 2: up financial stability, giving up friends, giving up relationships. But 133 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 2: there are so many benefits and so many rewards that 134 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 2: come from that. And I think that there are so 135 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 2: many areas in life that we can choose to take risks. 136 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 2: We can go back to school, we can take a 137 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 2: year off to go solo traveling, we can move to 138 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 2: a new city, start a new business, a side hustle, 139 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 2: a hobby, whatever it may be. And we can also 140 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 2: choose to take a risk around being more honest with 141 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 2: people about how we feel, asking people out, dating more, 142 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 2: introducing yourself to strangers, going to things alone, initiating difficult conversations. Obviously, 143 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 2: this is not a full list of the risks that 144 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 2: I consider important, but these are the risks that are 145 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 2: especially in our twenties, I think we kind of have 146 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 2: a duty to take. You are never going to be 147 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 2: this free or this inhibited again. Mistakes are also an 148 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 2: in built part of this decade. They are in many 149 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 2: ways expected from us. So people give you a lot 150 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 2: more of what I would call a pass. If you 151 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 2: are to make the wrong decision, at least you gave 152 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,160 Speaker 2: it a go. A lot of people cannot say that. 153 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 2: A lot of people live with the mistake of not 154 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 2: taking a chance on themselves for their entire lives. I 155 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 2: want to talk about one of my favorite studies of 156 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 2: all time here. There was this study that examined the 157 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 2: power and kind of the psychology of regret and the 158 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 2: impact of the decisions that people didn't make on their 159 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: psyche in the future. What they found is that you 160 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 2: are more likely to regret a decision that you didn't 161 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 2: make versus one that you did. Across thousands of people, 162 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 2: there were so many of them that expressed more regret 163 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 2: for the risks that they didn't take compared to the 164 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,079 Speaker 2: ones that they did. Actually, twenty four percent of participants 165 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 2: regretted the things that they did do and seventy six 166 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 2: regretted the things that they didn't do. So I think 167 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 2: this study is important when we consider how we're going 168 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 2: to approach risk taking in the new year, because it 169 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 2: highlights the dangers of inaction, and not even just in action, 170 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 2: but a denial of your dreams, a denial of that 171 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 2: urge of what you know deeply is going to make 172 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 2: you happy. It is really such a tragedy to imagine 173 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 2: yourself on your deathbed, realizing that there is nothing you 174 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 2: can do to undo the past, but wishing that you 175 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 2: had been brave when it counted. And I think being 176 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 2: brave when it counted is something that we don't always 177 00:10:54,720 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 2: understand or recognize until it's in hindsight. We often don't 178 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 2: realize the opportunities that we have because they are so 179 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 2: scary to us until it's too late. And I really 180 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 2: want to encourage you to be open to what might 181 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 2: be coming to you in this new year that you 182 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 2: might discredit because it is too scary that you might 183 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:21,560 Speaker 2: immediately say no to. Regardless of this understanding of the 184 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 2: benefit of risk, even if we appreciate that this could 185 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 2: be our future, sometimes we experience a lot of cognitive 186 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 2: dissonance around the many choices that we need to make 187 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 2: in our twenties. So cognitive dissonance in psychology refers to 188 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:38,400 Speaker 2: this kind of mental discomfort experienced when we hold two 189 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 2: contradictory beliefs or ideas or values. I think that really 190 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 2: applies to the dreams that we have. So we might 191 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: see ourselves in one way as someone who was really 192 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 2: motivated by corporate success. We really want to raise a family, 193 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 2: we really want to perhaps pursue a quite traditional life. 194 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 2: That is one belief that you have about yourself. But 195 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 2: another belief is that you want to be a bit 196 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: of a vagabound, that you are someone who is really independent, 197 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 2: really free spirited. You want to start your own business, 198 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,679 Speaker 2: you want to travel, and you kind of have these 199 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 2: two choices right and it feels like in this moment 200 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,839 Speaker 2: you have to make a decision. You have to make 201 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 2: a decision right now, and making a decision requires you 202 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 2: to give up on one of those paths. But you 203 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 2: have to think about the timing of your dreams in 204 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 2: this moment. I have this saying that you can be 205 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: everything that you want to be, but you can't be 206 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 2: at all at once. When we think about the things 207 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: that we want from our lives, we have to consider 208 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 2: what can be postponed, what actually may be better to 209 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 2: hold off on, whereas what is best for you right now? 210 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 2: When would it be the best time to do these things? 211 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 2: I think when it comes to a lot of those 212 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 2: adventurous dreams that particularly people in our of twenties really harbor, 213 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 2: time to do those things is right now. It is 214 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,679 Speaker 2: literally right now. Most of us do not have children, 215 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 2: we do not have mortgages, we have exited our education pipeline. 216 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,199 Speaker 2: We've either graduated high school or university. And it's in 217 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 2: those moments of fear and kind of like the question 218 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 2: of what am I going to do with my life 219 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:26,199 Speaker 2: from here on out that we need to be adventuring 220 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 2: and discovering and willing to branch out. It's not to 221 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 2: say that you can never do these things once you're 222 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 2: past a certain age, but simply that you have to 223 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 2: be able to make hard calls about what you want 224 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 2: now that may mean that you are going to delay 225 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 2: some of the other things in your life till later. Still, 226 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 2: in those moments, I do think fear is our biggest enemy. 227 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 2: The saying always goes fear is the killer of dreams 228 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 2: that I don't think that has ever been more true 229 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 2: than when it comes to dreams that require risk, Because 230 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 2: the essential premise of risk is that the outcome is unknown. 231 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 2: And it is the fact that the outcome is unknown 232 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 2: that makes it so scary, but also that makes it 233 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 2: so exciting exciting because yeah, it could grow terribly, but 234 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 2: also it could go incredibly well. You have no expectations, 235 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 2: you have no idea of what's going to come next, 236 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 2: and that just leaves so much room for surprises and 237 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 2: room for excitement, and room for the unexpected. What I 238 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 2: really want to discuss, though, is some of the things 239 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 2: that kind of hold us back, some of the fears 240 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 2: that keep us in a place of comfort, keep us 241 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: in a place of stability, and how we're going to 242 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 2: push back against that anxiety or perhaps that passivity this year, 243 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 2: how we're going to embrace risk in all its forms, 244 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 2: from small to big in twenty twenty four. So all 245 00:14:53,560 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 2: of that and more. After this short break, I was 246 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 2: reading this amazing book a while ago called Big Magic 247 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 2: by Elizabeth Gilbert. You might know her. She is the 248 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 2: author of that very famous book that came out a 249 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 2: few years ago called Eat, Pray, Love, and she also 250 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 2: has possibly one of the best TED talks of all time. 251 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 2: It's titled Your Elusive Creative Genius, which quite frankly I 252 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 2: think about at least once a week. I watch it always. 253 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 2: But in her book Big Magic, what she really focuses 254 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 2: on is the mental barriers that hold us back from 255 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 2: realizing our best lives, because that's what fear really is. 256 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 2: It's all about what's mental. It's all about our thoughts. 257 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 2: It's all about how we interpret a situation rather than 258 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 2: what it actually is. And I think it's this way 259 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 2: of thinking, thinking from a place of fear, that keeps 260 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 2: us buying into this feeling that we are small or 261 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 2: not capable of doing what we've dreamed of. You are 262 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 2: afraid of making a mistake. You're afraid that you have 263 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 2: no talent. You're afraid that it will take too much 264 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: time to get to where you want to be. But 265 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: the thing is that that time is going to pass anyways, 266 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 2: either you did something with it or you didn't. You're 267 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 2: afraid of it not working out perfectly. That's especially the 268 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 2: case for perfectionists, overachievers, people who have been taught to 269 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,239 Speaker 2: do things the right way. You are afraid of disappointing 270 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 2: others or yourself. You're afraid that your dreams are embarrassing 271 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 2: just because other people don't understand them. You're afraid that 272 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 2: you don't have the right background, the right degree, the 273 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,160 Speaker 2: right education, that so many people have done it before you, 274 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:45,200 Speaker 2: that your dreams aren't special. You're afraid of being too late, 275 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 2: and trust me, you are never too late. If you 276 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 2: are still breathing. You're afraid because something went well in 277 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 2: your life once, so nothing can possibly go right again. 278 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 2: This is a huge cognitive distortion that a lot of 279 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 2: us have, as if good things in life unlike it 280 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 2: exists in a bank account, and we've withdrawn too much 281 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,280 Speaker 2: of the money, and so all of the good things 282 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 2: in life, all of our I guess our balance of 283 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 2: good things has been depleted. Life doesn't work that way. 284 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 2: And I think the other thing that we're very afraid 285 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 2: of is that you're going to give up things in 286 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 2: your current life that you love and you won't be 287 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 2: able to get them back. That in itself is a 288 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,320 Speaker 2: massive barrier for so many of us, a barrier to 289 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,400 Speaker 2: pursuing a life that it might actually be better for us. 290 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,120 Speaker 2: But like we said before, it's going to require sacrifice. 291 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 2: Here is the important thing to remember. Fear is not 292 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:46,359 Speaker 2: real until it is realized. The easiest way for a 293 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:50,119 Speaker 2: fear to never be realized is to never do anything 294 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 2: risky that will allow you to grow. You can stay 295 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 2: in your safe bubble your entire life and never have 296 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 2: to encounter any of those worries being realized. But at 297 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 2: the end of your life, you're going to have to 298 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 2: face an even bigger fear, the one that you let 299 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 2: your life pass you by and you never did anything 300 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 2: about it. You never did anything that was going to 301 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 2: potentially make you happier. And with that comes a lot 302 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,679 Speaker 2: of bitterness around what could have been. What if my 303 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,680 Speaker 2: life had been different at this moment, and now there's 304 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 2: nothing I can do about it. I worry about that 305 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 2: all the time. It's that perspective of future me that 306 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,919 Speaker 2: really I think keeps me in a place of taking 307 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 2: chances on myself. Of course, I think that doesn't mean 308 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 2: that you should take every risk that comes across your plate, 309 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 2: that you should do anything that you desire or act 310 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,360 Speaker 2: on every whim. There are obviously some risks that are 311 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 2: more calculated, more practical, more meaningful than others, and then 312 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,239 Speaker 2: there are some that are just plain ridiculous. You know, 313 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 2: you're not going to go and jump out of a 314 00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 2: plane and you've never done it before, Just because you're 315 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,440 Speaker 2: ready to embrace risk like that is not a smart risk, 316 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 2: that is not one that is practical. But there are 317 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 2: some risks that we call bounded. Bounded risks are amazing. 318 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,640 Speaker 2: The idea is that there are these types of risks 319 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 2: that have limited downsides but unbounded upsides. Essentially, what that 320 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 2: means is that although there are limited costs incurred, and 321 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 2: yes there will be some cost time, money, missed opportunities 322 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 2: to get this idea off the ground, the benefit is 323 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 2: that there is no limit to the benefit. These are 324 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 2: the risks that you should be taking. I think about 325 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: them especially in terms of this podcast right or like 326 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: content creation. So when I began this podcast, obviously I 327 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: had to invest some time into buying a microphone and 328 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:52,160 Speaker 2: setting up a platform and creating episodes. But what I've 329 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 2: realized now is that there was an unlimited benefit from 330 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 2: being able to do something that I loved and engage 331 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 2: with people and share and convert with people who really 332 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 2: shared my passions. And then there are these risks that 333 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 2: are called unbounded. These are not so great. There's other 334 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: risks that we should avoid. So actually they're pretty terrible 335 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 2: because these risks mean that you could lose everything. So 336 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 2: compared to bounded risks, in which you can kind of 337 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 2: control how much you lose, with unbounded risks, there is 338 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 2: no limit to what you will have to give up, 339 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 2: and so whilst the payoff might be potentially unlimited, it 340 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,280 Speaker 2: means that you're probably going to lose something pretty valuable 341 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 2: in order to get there. Jumping out of a plane, 342 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,400 Speaker 2: that's a big one. If you've never skydive before, there 343 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 2: is no limit to how much you could potentially lose 344 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 2: in this situation, the limit being that you could lose 345 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,800 Speaker 2: your life, and the payoff is actually not really worth 346 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 2: it right. Another one is like choosing to burn all 347 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,719 Speaker 2: your bridges at your previous workplace or with all your 348 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,359 Speaker 2: friends because it's going to leave you unmoored and allow 349 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 2: you to make more friends. That is not a good risk. 350 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: That is not a good risk before you lose a 351 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 2: lot more than you seek to gain. So when we 352 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 2: think about risks from this perspective, from kind of a 353 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: cost benefit analysis kind of perspective, we really need to 354 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 2: consider whether the decisions we're going to make are going 355 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 2: to lead to a benefit that's going to outweigh the 356 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 2: initial costs. It's important to be a little bit rational 357 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 2: when we think about the risks that we want to 358 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 2: take in our twenties, because although risk equalsphere, it does 359 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 2: not equal complete abandonment of everything you love and care about. 360 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 2: I really do believe once again that the most amazing 361 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 2: growth will come out of the periods of greatest discomfort, 362 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 2: where we really push ourselves and explore what's out there. 363 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 2: But that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be 364 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 2: silly about it, or you have to completely abandon or logic. 365 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 2: Taking risk still requires judgment, and yes there are people 366 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 2: who are more likely to take risks. That that doesn't 367 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 2: necessarily mean that you should be doing things that you 368 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 2: know aren't going to make you happy or aren't actually 369 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,200 Speaker 2: aligned just because you want to be free, just because 370 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 2: you want to be uninhibited, just because you want to 371 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 2: see what happens. I think that brings me to another 372 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 2: important point. Risks don't have to be inherently spontaneous to 373 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 2: be risky. They can also be planned. I think we 374 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,719 Speaker 2: often think about risks as being these things that are 375 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 2: very impulsive that just kind of come to mind and 376 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 2: we have to see them through. But you can take 377 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 2: your time, you can be prepared. You can talk it 378 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:42,120 Speaker 2: through with family and friends, but the most important thing 379 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 2: in that moment is to make sure that your preparation 380 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,159 Speaker 2: is not actually just an unconscious form of avoidance. You 381 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 2: are never going to feel fully ready for anything. Ever, 382 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 2: there will always be some doubt, there will always be 383 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 2: something that you cannot account for. And often when we 384 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 2: owe a plan and overthink that is really just an 385 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 2: unconscious way of us choosing to avoid fear where we 386 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 2: get stuck in this loop of being, of being like 387 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 2: if I just know more, if I'm just if I 388 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 2: have a few more days to prepare a few more months, 389 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 2: the outcome is going to be better. That is not 390 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 2: always the case. Things turn out how they're going to 391 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 2: turn out, regardless of how much planning you put into it. 392 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: So I think there are ways that we can become 393 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 2: more familiar or comfortable with the idea of risk. Firstly, 394 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,720 Speaker 2: think about small risks you can take to prepare yourself 395 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,640 Speaker 2: for a bigger risk you know is going to come 396 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 2: in your future. So, for example, if you want to 397 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 2: go traveling or move to a new country for a 398 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 2: year two years, take time to visit that country first, 399 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 2: just to make sure that it's actually what you like, 400 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,639 Speaker 2: so you don't get over there and then realize that 401 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 2: this was a huge mistake and you want to fly 402 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 2: back home immediately. If you want to quit your job, 403 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 2: go to a few networking events. Start your side hustle 404 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: whilst you're still working to get a feel for it. 405 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 2: Prepare yourself for risk. Don't deny yourself of the risk, 406 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 2: but implement it in your daily life or aspects of 407 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 2: it in your daily life. Before you take the full 408 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 2: leap with any risk that involves giving up work, giving 409 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,119 Speaker 2: up opportunities, giving up education, giving up jobs, take a 410 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,199 Speaker 2: solid look at your finances before you choose to do that. 411 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 2: Like I said before, sometimes you do have to be 412 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 2: practical even if you're going to be risky. I did 413 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 2: this at the start of last year, and it was 414 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 2: really important to understand what the next few months of 415 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 2: my life were all years even we're going to look like. 416 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,359 Speaker 2: So I didn't kind of just step off the deep 417 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,399 Speaker 2: end and there were suddenly not just so many unknowns, 418 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 2: but so many ways that I could have been prepared mentally, financially, emotionally, 419 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 2: and wasn't. I also think, instead of thinking about risk 420 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,960 Speaker 2: as these big decisions, we need to make that will 421 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 2: forever all to our lives. Think about them as value 422 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 2: realignment risks are a way for you to shift your 423 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 2: life back in the direction that aligns with how you 424 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 2: see yourself, with what you value from life, with what 425 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 2: you want from your future. And maybe you've just become 426 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 2: really detached from that in the past a year or two. 427 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 2: Perhaps you see yourself as a creative someone who has 428 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,879 Speaker 2: like a real true fire in their belly for producing 429 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 2: work that really moves people from expressing their imagination. But 430 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 2: at the moment you've been really caught up in finishing 431 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 2: your business degree that you haven't made time to pursue 432 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 2: those parts of you. Maybe the risk you need to 433 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 2: take then is to move out of your comfort zone 434 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,479 Speaker 2: and pursue this more deeply by carving out time to 435 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 2: do it, by setting yourself long term goals in which 436 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 2: you're going to realign how you're living your life with 437 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 2: how you wish you were living your life. Maybe you 438 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 2: also value being really adventurous and a bit of a nomad, 439 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 2: but you perhaps felt a little bit stuck post COVID 440 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 2: you feel the need to work full time to make 441 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 2: money for your dreams. The risk you need to take 442 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 2: is to just get back out there. Normally, when we are, 443 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 2: like I said, overplanning, over preparing, what we're really fearing 444 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:29,640 Speaker 2: in those moments is not being unprepared, it's being uncomfortable. 445 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 2: So you kind of have to get comfortable with being 446 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 2: uncomfortable and kind of say, you know, fuck it, this 447 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,919 Speaker 2: is actually what I want from my life, even if 448 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: it's difficult at times, even if people don't understand it. 449 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 2: I'm at this point where I can ever choose to 450 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,200 Speaker 2: deny myself that dream or that vision for my life, 451 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,439 Speaker 2: or I can choose to embrace it. Risks are really 452 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:54,880 Speaker 2: not just a catalyst for change, but a catalyst for 453 00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 2: realigning your true self with your actual self, making yourself 454 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 2: off the path that everyone else wants you to live 455 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,000 Speaker 2: and back onto the path that you want to live. 456 00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,439 Speaker 2: So I want to talk about some of the risks 457 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 2: that I'm gonna take this year to finish it off. 458 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 2: I really want to solo travel. I used to be 459 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 2: completely terrified of planes, and it meant that when everyone 460 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,359 Speaker 2: else around me was taking those times to do their 461 00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 2: Europe trips or their Southeast Asia trips, I was kind 462 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 2: of stuck at home because I was too scared to 463 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 2: embark on this journey, mainly just like the first fourteen 464 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,440 Speaker 2: hours of the journey on the plane, So I think 465 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:40,639 Speaker 2: that I regret not having those experiences that a lot 466 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 2: of my friends have been able to have. So I 467 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 2: really want to solo travel this year. I really want 468 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 2: to get into a position where I can live alone 469 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 2: and force myself to make that decision when the time comes, 470 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 2: rather than just reverting to living with friends or living 471 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 2: with a partner. I think that I really want that 472 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,919 Speaker 2: space to know myself even though I'm scared of being lonely, 473 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 2: and I really want to set myself a really big 474 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,919 Speaker 2: athletic goal that might not sound like a risk for 475 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 2: a lot of people, but I think my fear has 476 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 2: always been of failing or embarrassing myself, of not meeting 477 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 2: people's expectations for what someone who participates in these activities 478 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 2: looks like, not being fit enough to do it or 479 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: to fit in, and that's really kept me and helped 480 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 2: me back from participating in activities that I think I 481 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 2: otherwise would have really loved and would have made a 482 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,880 Speaker 2: lot of friends from. That's what I want to do 483 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 2: this year. I want to challenge myself to not be 484 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 2: constantly worrying about what other people think about me and 485 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 2: my behaviors and my actions, and just do it. Anyways, 486 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 2: one final reminder before we wrap up this episode. You 487 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 2: have a responsibility to yourself to actually just do things, 488 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 2: to make decisions that might leave you feeling temporarily a 489 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 2: little bit out of place, but will significantly change your life, 490 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,959 Speaker 2: will set you on a new course. No one is 491 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 2: going to come and suddenly make your life amazing for 492 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,880 Speaker 2: you. You are the only one that can do that. And 493 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 2: maybe not everyone will understand your motivations. Maybe you don't 494 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 2: even know what risk would look like for you in 495 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 2: this year. It doesn't matter, though, because in this life 496 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 2: you can choose to be comfortable or you can choose 497 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 2: to grow. I know I've said it so many times 498 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 2: throughout this but I do think that we need the 499 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 2: reminder that when we buy into fear, we also buy 500 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 2: into dissatisfaction and we buy into regret and that's not 501 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 2: something that I think we want to live with. And 502 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 2: if you're not quite sure what it means to you 503 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 2: to take a risk, what you would take a risk towards, 504 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,960 Speaker 2: leave yourself open to opportunity. And when I say leave 505 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 2: yourself open to opportunity. What that really means is that 506 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 2: be prepared to say yes to things in the moment, 507 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,640 Speaker 2: be prepared to just be open to the idea that 508 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 2: your expectations for what you wanted your life to look 509 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 2: like might change and might not be the same. And 510 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 2: also put yourself in situations where you can be challenged. 511 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 2: Go and try new things, interact with new types of people, 512 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 2: Look for new jobs that you might be interested in, 513 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 2: even if you're not even going to apply for them. 514 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,120 Speaker 2: You know, watch travel blogs of people doing really cool things. 515 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 2: Think about the things that you loved maybe in childhood, 516 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 2: the dreams you had in childhood that you've kind of neglected, 517 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 2: that you've forgotten about. It's a really good way to, 518 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 2: I think, really tune into what you want from your 519 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 2: life that you've maybe neglected. So I want to say officially, 520 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 2: welcome to your year for taking risks in whatever capacity 521 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 2: you choose to do that. Welcome. I'm so excited to 522 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 2: hear from you about what are the risks you are 523 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 2: going to take in twenty twenty four. What are the 524 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 2: things that you are going to realize or at least 525 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 2: just explore this year. How are you going to push 526 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 2: past your fear and your anxiety to maybe discover something 527 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 2: about yourself that you never knew. I'm really excited to 528 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 2: see what that means, not just for me, but for 529 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 2: all of you, my lovely listeners. I'm so excited for 530 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 2: this year. It's just crazy how fast time is going. 531 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 2: I'm not going to think about it too much. I 532 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 2: feel like that will lead me into such an existential spiral. 533 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 2: But I also just want to say thank you so 534 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 2: much for your support in twenty twenty three. My entire 535 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 2: life truly did change, and that would not have been 536 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 2: possible without you, every single one of you, who listens 537 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 2: every single week, who supports me in silent ways, who 538 00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:01,720 Speaker 2: shares episodes with friends. It's just mind blowing that I 539 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 2: have this community, and every day I'm just so grateful 540 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,600 Speaker 2: for it. I'm so grateful for it. I really don't 541 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 2: have the words, so I guess I'll just say one 542 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 2: more time, thank you so much, and hopefully I will 543 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 2: see more of you this year. I will see more 544 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,840 Speaker 2: of you in twenty twenty four. If you enjoyed this episode, 545 00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 2: please feel free to leave a five star review on 546 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening right now. Share 547 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 2: it with a friend if this is what they need 548 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 2: to hear. Make sure you're following for all of our 549 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 2: new episodes this year, and we will be back next 550 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 2: week with another episode. Happy New Year.