Speaker 1: Today's podcast is brought to you by zipcar dot Com.
Speaker 1: Earned twenty five dollars of free driving credit at www
Speaker 1: dot join zipcar dot com slash Unofficial Experts. Hello, welcome
Speaker 1: to the Unofficial Expert where we.
Speaker 2: Are smarter than everybody listening right now.
Speaker 3: Yes we are. We got an MBA and nothing.
Speaker 2: And nothing and not a damn thing, A PhD in
Speaker 2: I could do that.
Speaker 1: I could do that. If I had time and stuff,
Speaker 1: I could totally do that.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm Sydney Washington and I'm Marie.
Speaker 2: You don't need to know my last name, Siddy. I
Speaker 2: feel like you should stop telling people that your hair
Speaker 2: is not real and how old you are and what's
Speaker 2: your last name?
Speaker 4: Wait?
Speaker 3: Are we starting off the podcast with this negative?
Speaker 2: No? I just feel like you need you need to
Speaker 2: just cloak yourself in that. What's the word I'm looking
Speaker 2: for here? I don't know what the word is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I wanted to use the word cloak.
Speaker 1: That doesn't go in the sentence. But I'm not ashamed
Speaker 1: of any I'm not saying you.
Speaker 2: Have to be a shamed but I feel like you
Speaker 2: could be a little bit more secret.
Speaker 1: You're obviously not an exportment. Your damn business.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you tell everybody your business. So you were
Speaker 2: an expert at telling the world yo business, run.
Speaker 1: Tell that home boys a home boy, Marie were you're
Speaker 1: an expert in this week.
Speaker 2: I was an expert in not paying for no food
Speaker 2: this week. Let me tell you how I killed the game.
Speaker 2: Monday leftovers from Sunday. Okay, it was like a roll
Speaker 2: was like rice and peas with like carrots and beats.
Speaker 2: Boom killed it. Tuesday leftovers from work right, it was
Speaker 2: also rising peas and uh jerk pork and plantains. Plantains
Speaker 2: killed that. Then yesterday I was at an event. It
Speaker 2: was open bar and like all the food was free,
Speaker 2: and I was just shoving shrimp and crabcakes and just
Speaker 2: magic into a rougul of salads just so good.
Speaker 1: You know, up top, I thought you were like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I went on a days this week, somebody was paying
Speaker 1: for my food.
Speaker 2: Work paid, and then my mom had sent me some leftovers.
Speaker 2: And then I just happened to get a wristband to
Speaker 2: this event last night because my wrists are real sex.
Speaker 3: That sounds boring.
Speaker 1: I want to know where's the people paying for your dinners?
Speaker 2: Well that's gonna happen today. Today, I might go get
Speaker 2: some steak.
Speaker 1: Really you with her with her friend from last week?
Speaker 1: After this if you want to come, Okay, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be after this nice.
Speaker 2: Cool see how to see Me Selfless?
Speaker 1: Sam expert in selfless putting your girl on?
Speaker 2: Did you kill it?
Speaker 4: In Today?
Speaker 1: This week?
Speaker 3: This week? I was an expert in being a peeping time?
Speaker 2: Who are you weeping at?
Speaker 3: Well? I was getting off the train, the Jay train.
Speaker 2: And somebody they dig out, and you were like, what
Speaker 2: why you.
Speaker 1: Want to tell my story? Like, can I'll let you live?
Speaker 1: Can you let me live?
Speaker 3: Anyway? I walk onto the train station.
Speaker 1: McDonald's was right near my house, so you know, I
Speaker 1: always walk by because I'm like, oh, there's always some
Speaker 1: random crackhead. So I'm very cautious, so I'm always looking, dude.
Speaker 2: Do do do? Do?
Speaker 1: Do? Do? I see a man getting head in between
Speaker 1: two part cars.
Speaker 2: And did you stay there to watch them finish?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? I was infuriated by his whole outfit.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the outfit is what upset you? Not what
Speaker 2: was happening?
Speaker 1: Oh no, Well, first of all, he had a windbreaker on,
Speaker 1: so that's on that one. I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: those are coming back nineties or.
Speaker 3: A six.
Speaker 2: Okay, I own a six, so I don't really know.
Speaker 3: Those are a terrible, terrible sneaker.
Speaker 2: Well, what was she wearing? Was it a chicken redo?
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell what she was sitting down like no
Speaker 1: he or she was squatting like a get what is it?
Speaker 3: Get your egle on position?
Speaker 1: Oh? Drop down?
Speaker 2: Get you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I couldn't tell.
Speaker 2: You couldn't tell if it was a chicken redo.
Speaker 3: No, it was in Listen.
Speaker 1: People identify with everything now, so I'm just gonna say
Speaker 1: it was a person.
Speaker 3: I know it was a human being.
Speaker 2: It was a nastiest person.
Speaker 1: No, you ain't never gave a head outside.
Speaker 2: Of No, I am much classier than that uh red
Speaker 2: lobster his or olive gardens dom you know. I mean,
Speaker 2: come on, because I'm a lated.
Speaker 3: Wait, and what do you wear when you when you're
Speaker 3: giving head outside?
Speaker 2: Obviously Chinese slippers and like a baggy capri pant.
Speaker 1: No, I want like those stretch pants that are fake
Speaker 1: demim that's what I want.
Speaker 2: Jaggings.
Speaker 3: Jaggings.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, but they have like the jeans stitched
Speaker 1: on and the fake pocket. Yes, that's what I want
Speaker 1: to wear. Well, and chocolate Anthos and I want to
Speaker 1: have a doobie. I want to have pins in my hair.
Speaker 2: Uh well, I mean yeah, because you don't want to
Speaker 2: eat your hair to touch the dick.
Speaker 1: That's gross.
Speaker 3: No, but he he.
Speaker 1: I just feel like guys need to do better with
Speaker 1: their outfits when they're going outside.
Speaker 3: We women are prepared for anything. We never know when
Speaker 3: we might get a day.
Speaker 2: You've never seen a woman who was not prepared for something.
Speaker 1: Really, let you stay with an overnight bag.
Speaker 3: You see how I do?
Speaker 2: City is professional lady.
Speaker 1: I have makeup, I have lashes. She carries all of
Speaker 1: her makeup, perfumes.
Speaker 3: I have three pairs of glasses sunglasses.
Speaker 2: Three three pairs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you never know.
Speaker 2: You never know when the sun is gonna come out
Speaker 2: three times or it's gonna be three sons.
Speaker 1: No, I have like the paparazzi sunglasses. I have the
Speaker 1: chill glasses. I have the glasses that you can wear
Speaker 1: at night. I mean, on you, you do not have
Speaker 1: glasses you can wear it?
Speaker 4: Listen? Oh gosh, all right.
Speaker 1: Can we start? Yes?
Speaker 3: Are you done?
Speaker 2: I'm done?
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, So we're bringing in our guests today. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I love her so freaking much, and.
Speaker 2: She's so good at what she does.
Speaker 3: She really is.
Speaker 1: Give it up for Karen Feehan. Yes, hey, ladies, how
Speaker 1: are you have such a good podcast for it?
Speaker 4: No, I don't. I'm naisal. I sound like a jew.
Speaker 2: Well when you said NAIs, you were NAIs. Just don't
Speaker 2: say that word, all right.
Speaker 1: Your voice sounds like you you have money, like your
Speaker 1: own properly no money.
Speaker 4: You bought me breakfast I did.
Speaker 1: Don't be telling everybody on the fucking podcast what I'm
Speaker 1: doing for you, white woman.
Speaker 4: Elizabeth Washington, that Sydney.
Speaker 1: That ain't even my middle name.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm trying to close cloak her in that
Speaker 4: or whatever that thinking about.
Speaker 1: Anyway, People don't know about this inside joke that you're
Speaker 1: talking about.
Speaker 3: Anyway, Karen is an amazing comedian.
Speaker 4: She'd be killing the game right all day.
Speaker 3: And she'd be hurting feelings all day long.
Speaker 4: She's a bit.
Speaker 2: You are really good at being like kind of maze.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like because you're so patitue. Yeah. Also because
Speaker 1: you're white, you think so well, you're orange, so orange people.
Speaker 3: Get raise a bit. What was.
Speaker 1: Not on the podcast?
Speaker 2: Carry hold on name Two examples of when I was one, okay, because.
Speaker 4: There was a one time on the group text where
Speaker 4: we both made fun of Sydney for being earlier shows
Speaker 4: all the time.
Speaker 2: That was yesterday, you guys are and then the second time.
Speaker 4: The second time was another time we made fun of Sydney.
Speaker 3: The podcast is over, y'all bitches to have it. I'm out.
Speaker 1: I'm the unofficial expert leaving this dumb ass podcast.
Speaker 2: You're official expert of Get your Feeling's Hurt.
Speaker 1: But Feehan is going to be our expert on open
Speaker 1: relationships today.
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, I'm excited open relationships.
Speaker 2: Now, what do you define an open relationship?
Speaker 4: As? I think that that's going to be different for everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what was your bullshit?
Speaker 4: My personal definition, you are allowed to sleep with people
Speaker 4: outside of your relationship. So you're in a relationship with someone, right,
Speaker 4: like a specific person, but you're allowed to sleep with
Speaker 4: other people outside of it. And my open relationship it
Speaker 4: was when we weren't in the same city together. Then
Speaker 4: it was like, all that's are off. You can do
Speaker 4: whatever you want.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you were in Manhattan and he was
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, then that means.
Speaker 4: No, that's the same state.
Speaker 1: No, that's stay from Borough.
Speaker 3: That's the same.
Speaker 2: State though, Yes, but it's New York City City City,
Speaker 2: don't know geography.
Speaker 1: Grew up in Oakland.
Speaker 3: We're gonna cut that out.
Speaker 1: They don't have that.
Speaker 2: We're gonna edit that out. We're gonna leave that right
Speaker 2: up in there.
Speaker 4: That person I was in the urban relationship with was
Speaker 4: in LA and New Orleans for a lot and he
Speaker 4: was doing a lot of road gigs for the majority
Speaker 4: of our relationships.
Speaker 3: Oh, I see you plugging that.
Speaker 2: He was somebody so he was you Wait, so you
Speaker 2: knew he was banging other people, so you were like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm also gonna be banging people while you're not here.
Speaker 4: What happened? Yeah? I had just come out of an
Speaker 4: eight year relationship so terrible and I mean overlap, Like
Speaker 4: new boyfriend picked me up from old boyfriend's apartments.
Speaker 2: Okay, I've done that before you and he rode.
Speaker 4: Me to my new place to like moved me into
Speaker 4: my new apartment, right he I mean, I love it.
Speaker 4: I still love him. We text every day.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 4: I adore him, his friends. I love it. That's not
Speaker 4: like the dick was goog Yes, very we had excellent
Speaker 4: sexual chemistry.
Speaker 3: Did you hear it.
Speaker 1: Very It was very good. It was actually quite wonderful.
Speaker 1: It's very I would have been to say very Oh
Speaker 1: my god, said.
Speaker 4: The word very very it really.
Speaker 1: So it's very good.
Speaker 2: The dick was you was digmatized.
Speaker 4: But huge penis Like is that really a big deal?
Speaker 4: Like a big deck?
Speaker 2: But if it's big and he don't know what he's
Speaker 2: doing with the dick, does that mean something?
Speaker 4: Sometimes? But like if it's hard enough, I'll figure it out.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, why.
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: You see a lot of big Olympics? Is that what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 4: I'm dealt with some Olympics in my life.
Speaker 1: But were they big? Though?
Speaker 4: Yeah? One of the ones. Yeah, people have drunk addictions.
Speaker 3: In this Country's true. I agree, you know. Okay, so
Speaker 3: you and your boo?
Speaker 4: All right, so I'm with that guy for eight years, right,
Speaker 4: so I'm I don't even I have no mourning period
Speaker 4: for this relationship. It's just boom right into the next
Speaker 4: one and he's like.
Speaker 1: How did you meet this next one?
Speaker 4: A comedy?
Speaker 3: Wait, that's where you be failing in life?
Speaker 1: Like why why?
Speaker 4: I hate that ship? I hate when people say don't
Speaker 4: date comics.
Speaker 2: I don't do it always.
Speaker 4: I love funny guys. Why wouldn't I date somebody that
Speaker 4: I think is funny. I like funny people better than regularly.
Speaker 3: That's the problem with women.
Speaker 1: We will date somebody because they funny, and dudes are like, nah,
Speaker 1: you need to have your ship on point.
Speaker 2: Listen, Well, date a funny dude who got no teeth,
Speaker 2: lives at his mom on a pull out twin me
Speaker 2: that he shares with his grandmother. Like, yeah, no, you
Speaker 2: can take somebody who's who's not a comedian. A lot
Speaker 2: of comedians are not funny.
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree, I like somebody.
Speaker 4: The comedians I've dated are pretty have been pretty successful.
Speaker 1: I like somebody who owns a bank that has a
Speaker 1: sense of humor, owns a bank, owns a bank. Oh
Speaker 1: jd uh Cooper, Yeah, d.
Speaker 2: Chase is his name.
Speaker 4: TD is his first name, TD and like TDS like
Speaker 4: TDS titty bank.
Speaker 2: They have a lot of ATMs. So wait, what was
Speaker 2: your question? Sah?
Speaker 1: Was there a question?
Speaker 4: It was more of an insult.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, because she was saying that she dates comics,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, wait, what.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't I can't.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can't have the same struggle like that.
Speaker 1: We're both struggling to be funny. I mean, even if
Speaker 1: he's more established, he still has struggling with his ego.
Speaker 4: That is that I think that that you hit the
Speaker 4: nail on the hat. That's like the main issue with
Speaker 4: dating comics, the narcissism and the insecurity. And you're like, listen,
Speaker 4: I have all that myself. I don't need you piling
Speaker 4: any of yours online.
Speaker 1: And you ain't got no money, and I know you
Speaker 1: ain't got no money, and then I gotta see you bomb.
Speaker 3: Oh god, my guy.
Speaker 4: Never mom.
Speaker 2: You want to talk about is comedy? Like can we
Speaker 2: talk about like my bangs or something? Literally? Anything else?
Speaker 2: So I don't think I could do it, but you
Speaker 2: it was through comedy that you met dude number.
Speaker 4: Two, number two, right, And I was also bartending at
Speaker 4: the time, and I started working with this guy, and
Speaker 4: I knew I was gonna have sex with him. And
Speaker 4: the thing is I didn't.
Speaker 3: Want Did you know did you get a tingle?
Speaker 4: He smelled it everything I was gorgeous. Do you want
Speaker 4: to see his picture?
Speaker 1: Yeah, was a picture, let's see.
Speaker 4: And it was like right away, like day one, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: there's no way we're not having sex.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I don't think I've ever felt that.
Speaker 2: I've never thought that. You thought that, as you've seen
Speaker 2: somebody s yes, I listen to the opposite. I think
Speaker 2: we definitely we never gonna touch ever. Let me see.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, it took you three pictures to get
Speaker 1: me to the good step.
Speaker 4: We had a suit on.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's I wasn't feeling that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the suit is too baggy. It's looking at Men's
Speaker 2: warehouse right off the very. It's given me birlt.
Speaker 1: Base. It's giving me Lowmans.
Speaker 2: It's giving me Lowmans Men's department.
Speaker 1: It was very it was very, very, very very macy.
Speaker 2: It's a very century twenty one felleens.
Speaker 4: He's so cute.
Speaker 2: Wait, so he came in.
Speaker 1: He's he's got tattooed.
Speaker 3: White man would have tattooed. Don't kill you.
Speaker 2: He's great a white man without a tattoo.
Speaker 4: Also, that's a great photo.
Speaker 2: He looked old in that photoop. Let me see that
Speaker 2: that photo too greedy?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, what is it like?
Speaker 2: He's serving the good, the bad, and the ugly realness
Speaker 2: right here.
Speaker 4: It's like Western out of this like German.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: Over time he had like a weird skinny face. So yeah, no,
Speaker 4: so I I just but I loved Keith, the guy
Speaker 4: I was dating. I loved him and I didn't want
Speaker 4: to break up with him.
Speaker 1: This is but you talked to him. You told me,
Speaker 1: if I'm going out and i'm getting I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna get some dude.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm definitely gonna do you mind, right?
Speaker 2: And he did not mind?
Speaker 1: Do you agree to?
Speaker 4: I was like, because, I mean that was sort of
Speaker 4: the you know, the turning point. We sort of had
Speaker 4: to make a decision because I wasn't gonna cheat on him,
Speaker 4: and I guess he could have broken up with me,
Speaker 4: you know, since I wanted to have six with someone else.
Speaker 2: But I got afraid that you're gonna die when you
Speaker 2: come up to your white boyfriend and say, hey Keith,
Speaker 2: yeah oh he was black. Oh then you weren't afraid
Speaker 2: that he was smack in the face and be like, hey,
Speaker 2: I won't sleep with somebody else.
Speaker 1: I don't want shoot on you, but we will make
Speaker 1: her he was.
Speaker 4: This is my other thing I believe in. People are
Speaker 4: very cyclical with their relationships. Like my eight year guy
Speaker 4: was abusive in a certain ways, like emotionally and when
Speaker 4: I when I quit drinking. I had less than support.
Speaker 4: Like I don't even know how to describe it.
Speaker 2: It was opposite of well, that sounds very correct, very
Speaker 2: we're gonna run that very down. We're gonna say that
Speaker 2: for the most of for the rest of aodcast.
Speaker 4: But Keith was like more of a beta like he
Speaker 4: was really just like sweet and nice.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know he would give you that keen
Speaker 3: wa dick? Is that that.
Speaker 2: Keen wad dick? I'm sorry, what Please explain what that is?
Speaker 4: I'm very I'm pretty sure it's pronounced.
Speaker 1: Shut up quinola. That sounds like a woman that works
Speaker 1: at the d m v no actually works at Filine's pasement.
Speaker 2: I don't know how you don't know? That's very so
Speaker 2: he Okay, well hold on, so let's go back to this.
Speaker 2: So then, what happened you sleep with this dude?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And I mean I sort of without a condom?
Speaker 4: None of your business.
Speaker 2: I mean, are you a raw dogging bitch? What that
Speaker 2: do from the photo with all the tattoos?
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess the first couple of times we
Speaker 4: use the condom.
Speaker 1: And then keep his men men min house, warehouse or whatever.
Speaker 3: Blazer on did you do?
Speaker 2: He took all his clothes off and put the blazer back.
Speaker 2: They band can dress you.
Speaker 4: That would be amazing my face. Why did you do that?
Speaker 4: I actually ended up writing an article about him because
Speaker 4: he would fuck me and stare at his own tattoos.
Speaker 4: He would I would catch him looking at his own
Speaker 4: arms and I'd be like hello. He was like, this
Speaker 4: counts as an armwork out for yeah, when I ended
Speaker 4: up writing something about that. But no, so he and
Speaker 4: I sort of have like a mini relationship while I
Speaker 4: was still having a relationship with Keith, Like, I met
Speaker 4: this guy's father. He came to a few.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you met his dad and you weren't officially
Speaker 1: his girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but his dad was just like in town. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was like it.
Speaker 1: Wasn't like I mean like we met so you just
Speaker 1: hanging out at the deli, just grabbing some sandwiches.
Speaker 4: It was at his place. His dad was like like
Speaker 4: saying in his apartment for a couple of days.
Speaker 1: Uh. I don't know how I feel like.
Speaker 4: Keith's dad. No, Keith doesn't really have a relationship with
Speaker 4: his father.
Speaker 2: That was gonna be my follow up question.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I was in prison for like fourteen years, do.
Speaker 2: We talk about his dad on his podcast, talk about it.
Speaker 2: Don't you talk about his dad on his podcast?
Speaker 3: You have some respect?
Speaker 4: No, they have multiple They have multiple jokes about him.
Speaker 1: Put some respect on it, Orange Lady.
Speaker 4: They went on Jimmy Fallon talking about it. It doesn't really
Speaker 4: feel about it.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, let's get to the good stuff, all right.
Speaker 2: So after that, you then started doing open relationships with
Speaker 2: like everybody.
Speaker 4: No, this is my this is my only open relationship.
Speaker 4: But I'm not against it, and I'm struggling right now
Speaker 4: with the person I'm dating because men just can't do it,
Speaker 4: Like men would rather cheat on you than be honest.
Speaker 3: Yep, yes, I agree with that.
Speaker 4: And it's just so weak, it's so cowardly, it's so disrespectful.
Speaker 4: It drives me insane. It's like treating your partner like
Speaker 4: they don't deserve the same truth that you're living. It's
Speaker 4: like it drives me nuts.
Speaker 2: Have you have you ever cheated on somebody?
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you've cheated on somebody.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I've never cheated on somebody. Any relationships have you had?
Speaker 1: Though? One?
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly.
Speaker 4: I cheated on my eighth grade boyfriend.
Speaker 2: With who like a n I hope it was a
Speaker 2: ninth grader.
Speaker 3: I was out of state.
Speaker 4: I was in he was in Massachusetts.
Speaker 1: And I was, Oh my god, me too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had. I had a grade no, no, no, I
Speaker 3: was in college.
Speaker 1: I had. I had a boo in Massachusetts and I
Speaker 1: had a boo in Philadelphia's that the same coast?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: And I I had a Tiffany's and Co bracelet from
Speaker 1: one young and uh, pizza and cola cola?
Speaker 2: Was it cream soda?
Speaker 3: It was cola? It was like R C R C
Speaker 3: A what is it? What kind of colon is rc?
Speaker 1: Yeah? That you got it? So funny.
Speaker 2: I've never cheated anybody because I'm good Christian queen, thank you.
Speaker 2: H So you have cheated, But men cheat regularly because
Speaker 2: they don't want to admit that they want to sleep
Speaker 2: with somebody else.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm and I think it's just this controlling, manipulative
Speaker 4: mechanism that they've been you know, brought up to. Like seriously,
Speaker 4: it's like, sincerely believe that if a woman doesn't know
Speaker 4: that it doesn't hurt her, that it can't hurt her.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like knowing is better.
Speaker 4: No, it's it's complicated. I mean I just rather you
Speaker 4: like treat me, you know the way when I don't
Speaker 4: think they lie to their guy friends like that.
Speaker 2: They'd been like yeah, and then she came eighteen times,
Speaker 2: she said the best she ever had.
Speaker 1: And she left my house. She couldn't even walk, That's
Speaker 1: what they said. And then she made me a girl
Speaker 1: cheese che.
Speaker 2: No gasp, Greg, regular.
Speaker 1: And you and you asked me for a metress wife, Greg? Wait,
Speaker 1: how do you propose these things, these open relationships?
Speaker 4: I just said it to him. I was just like, hey,
Speaker 4: how do you feel about being in an open relationship?
Speaker 4: Because the truth is we jumped into a closed relationship
Speaker 4: too quickly, like I wasn't done with that. You know
Speaker 4: how you gotta like spread your wings a little after
Speaker 4: you were in a relationship for a while. No, no, no.
Speaker 1: My wings have been closed in September.
Speaker 4: You gotta like get you gotta like get it in.
Speaker 2: The sounds like me very white women behavior, right, yes,
Speaker 2: very very well. It's a rebound. I'm on a rebound
Speaker 2: for three years, just banging everybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I told you this was an overlapping relationship. I
Speaker 4: never had any time.
Speaker 2: It sound like you spread your wings from one relationship, right,
Speaker 2: into the other.
Speaker 4: Relationship though, Yeah, but I did. Yeah, but that was.
Speaker 3: Your hopscotching to the next dick. I see you.
Speaker 4: That wasn't a good idea though, Like I should have
Speaker 4: been like I need a little time to.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, it needs to rest, it needs to recuperate.
Speaker 2: I mean, you want to let your vagina use some
Speaker 2: if it's vacation days, you do so?
Speaker 1: Is there like a weight requirement? Like you only tell
Speaker 1: men who are under one hundred and fifty ts, like
Speaker 1: so you don't get fucked up? Like how do you
Speaker 1: do it over the phone a regular dude?
Speaker 3: Like, hey, why.
Speaker 4: I think men and women are different. I'm happy to
Speaker 4: communicate and do it. I told him before I slept
Speaker 4: with the guy, because we had been flirting, we had
Speaker 4: been texting, we were trying to like kind of starting
Speaker 4: to make plans, and I was like, I can't go
Speaker 4: make plans.
Speaker 1: Did you put it in a calendar?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she put it in the calendar.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah. I mean this wasn't my only little many relationship.
Speaker 4: I had probably like three or four little mini relationship Wow.
Speaker 2: Wow, are we calling them relationships? Because you met all
Speaker 2: the dads or were.
Speaker 4: Banging the dads.
Speaker 2: It's a dad magnet.
Speaker 4: I call them many relationships because I think that's how
Speaker 4: that's another difference between women and men, Like we're more
Speaker 4: aroused if we are emotionally connected in some way aroused.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go ahead and say I don't want to be
Speaker 2: emostly connected to anybody, don't.
Speaker 1: It is a strange breed. She just doesn't want any
Speaker 1: type of like I love you or touching.
Speaker 2: No, no heart to hearts, go touching base, don't checking.
Speaker 2: I don't even look at my eyes when you talk
Speaker 2: to me. Look at my forehead.
Speaker 3: Well I'm looking at you right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we're not at no chemistry here, there is.
Speaker 1: None, absolutely none.
Speaker 2: So funny, So have you ever like proposed an open
Speaker 2: relationship to somebody who freaked out, like was like hell
Speaker 2: no and like through your laptop out the window.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like my like the current person that like I'm
Speaker 4: kind of seeing.
Speaker 3: Well, isn't he Puerto Rican?
Speaker 2: Well you know that blood is what.
Speaker 3: I don't know why you would try to do that.
Speaker 2: You're at a Starbucks or somewhere Republic when you asked
Speaker 2: you that.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me let me be him. Let's just re enact. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did you go do it?
Speaker 2: Wait? Where were you guys?
Speaker 1: First?
Speaker 2: Let me set the scene where you guys at.
Speaker 4: Probably just outside on the street.
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm him, Okay, so I'm just walking by.
Speaker 2: I'm just walking about walking my daughter.
Speaker 4: Right now, I'm gonna get You're gonna be me.
Speaker 1: I I'm him?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Hey, hey, hey, Karen, you're so funny. Your set was
Speaker 3: so good last night.
Speaker 2: She is really funny, isn't.
Speaker 3: And it asks fat?
Speaker 4: Thanks your friend.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't teach what we can.
Speaker 1: So that was a great re enactment. That's gonna win
Speaker 1: an Emmy for sure.
Speaker 2: That's an egot, right, ask for me?
Speaker 4: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, let's just do this over one more time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, hey baby, can I borrow fi?
Speaker 3: May I?
Speaker 1: May I borrow fifty dollars?
Speaker 3: Karen?
Speaker 4: Why don't judt your friend?
Speaker 1: My friend?
Speaker 2: And why am I doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Because you are a man.
Speaker 2: You're playing yourself with a voice.
Speaker 1: You are.
Speaker 4: Somebody said that to me. I went in for like
Speaker 4: this casting thing and they were asked they were looking
Speaker 4: for like a female host, and I was telling them
Speaker 4: I was in the midst of my open relationship and
Speaker 4: I was explaining my ideologies and stuff, and the dude
Speaker 4: looked at me and goes, you're kind of like a dude.
Speaker 1: That dude doesn't get none, or to bring it down
Speaker 1: Karen by saying your dude.
Speaker 2: People told me that I've been called the man in
Speaker 2: my relationship.
Speaker 3: You're You're not a man, Marie at all.
Speaker 4: You're just we came up more masculine than feminine.
Speaker 2: I took a test. I'm ninety. What was it?
Speaker 3: You guys think that's fun.
Speaker 2: It's hilarious because you know Sydney, it would just be
Speaker 2: a vagina that popped.
Speaker 4: Up, understood, it would just be an open heart.
Speaker 2: No testa my heart is very open, sounds really gay,
Speaker 2: which makes sense coming from you.
Speaker 1: Okay, so how do you feel about different things entering
Speaker 1: you during the same period of time?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what double penetration? How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: How do you mobody is getting dped but okay? Would
Speaker 1: you hook up with one guy and then hook up
Speaker 1: with him the next another one the next next day?
Speaker 3: How does that?
Speaker 4: How do you turn my axes in a twenty four
Speaker 4: hour period like last than year?
Speaker 2: Well, tell us the time. Tell us what time did
Speaker 2: you banged the first one.
Speaker 4: So I oh, I went over like my ex the
Speaker 4: actor act and it's been a very long time since
Speaker 4: I've had sex with him. But he is like my
Speaker 4: friend did like this reading, and she thinks that we've
Speaker 4: been like intertwined for like age, like past lives.
Speaker 2: I always smack my friend in the reading of like
Speaker 2: her tarot cards at a rip them cards.
Speaker 1: You know why We're gonna stay with some cards, like bitch,
Speaker 1: if you don't get out of here with them fucking cards.
Speaker 2: It's like this is the night of cups. That means
Speaker 2: that your moon is rising the car. That means is
Speaker 2: you can get some dick. Yeah, but it's gonna be
Speaker 2: old dick.
Speaker 1: Bitch. I know you got some cards on sale at Target.
Speaker 1: Get them out of here right now. This is the
Speaker 1: king up a choker.
Speaker 4: You're just like I have what I got a flush?
Speaker 2: Wait? Hold on, so she said that you wait, So
Speaker 2: what time did you bang the first dude?
Speaker 4: So I like to see early afternoon.
Speaker 2: Give us the schedule, and then the next juju banged.
Speaker 4: With time because I probably did yoga first in the morning.
Speaker 4: And because the guys, you.
Speaker 3: Got to get this semen out via yoga.
Speaker 1: You gotta do your or whatever your third eye has
Speaker 1: to remove semen.
Speaker 4: Yes, he would always get me to and he's not
Speaker 4: a comedian, he's an actor, and he would get me
Speaker 4: because he would just be like funny and I hear
Speaker 4: what did I say?
Speaker 1: What is with you with these funny dudes?
Speaker 4: I like that?
Speaker 1: Do you don't how many funny?
Speaker 2: We're funny people.
Speaker 1: I'll see every day we're funny.
Speaker 3: How come you don't want us?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 4: You are constantly rejecting me, and.
Speaker 2: She's never asked me because she knows on the record
Speaker 2: Marie is not gay.
Speaker 3: She wants no parts.
Speaker 2: Sorry, wait, how are we not able to finish this? Okay,
Speaker 2: so you beg to dude twenty four hour period? Have
Speaker 2: you ever bang two dudes at the same time?
Speaker 3: Don't go back.
Speaker 4: I don't have that kind of concentration. I don't have
Speaker 4: that kind of man power.
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you put your mind to.
Speaker 4: Me, I would the other problem with men now, Like
Speaker 4: I mean, I I tapped out of a threesome with
Speaker 4: another girl once because we started and then she came
Speaker 4: out with these like diesel bomb tits and have like
Speaker 4: bar bells through both of them, and I'm like, I
Speaker 4: gotta go.
Speaker 1: I gotta go. Like you were intimidated by her nipples.
Speaker 4: By the size of sheer, size of her breast.
Speaker 2: They did you not know she had booth before she
Speaker 2: took her clothes.
Speaker 4: I think I knew, but I didn't know them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Why would you do that to your TV?
Speaker 4: Did a Kendle do it? She kept wanting me to
Speaker 4: do it. She's like, he was like my TV. I
Speaker 4: was like, I don't know. I just wanted to go.
Speaker 4: And then I like made the guy like spoon me
Speaker 4: so he like wouldn't touch her for the rest of
Speaker 4: the night. I was like, we're going to sleep.
Speaker 2: Oh she spent the night?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I would go home. There's no way I'm
Speaker 1: not staying after you curve me.
Speaker 3: No way.
Speaker 2: I got to be the big spoon because I got
Speaker 2: the big boobs.
Speaker 1: I'm taking my barbells and going home.
Speaker 4: Roommate. She was my roommate.
Speaker 2: Home was across the hall.
Speaker 4: No, we were like at this other guy's apartment we
Speaker 4: lived in.
Speaker 3: We had to walk across the square to get.
Speaker 4: I got kicked out of all the dorms of my college. Wow,
Speaker 4: my own apartment. By the time I was a sophomoret you.
Speaker 2: Wait all the dorms as a freshman.
Speaker 4: As a sophomore by the time as a sophomore, yeah,
Speaker 4: thank you, thinking, thank you. I did ninety hours of
Speaker 4: community service. I was just smoking pot and drinking. It
Speaker 4: was a dry dorm. It was right over here.
Speaker 2: Did you graduate? Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, well are you that?
Speaker 2: Yeah? No?
Speaker 4: No, no, I have a BA and acting and I minored
Speaker 4: in French.
Speaker 2: So you you were as a waitress and.
Speaker 4: I'm on reality television you now.
Speaker 2: Have you gotten any new dick from the reality TV stuff?
Speaker 4: No? No, But all I'm getting are like fact guys
Speaker 4: that are like, hey, I think you're kind of a bully,
Speaker 4: but you want to hang.
Speaker 2: Out people who like, you know, to be disrespected. But
Speaker 2: would you would you ever be like a dominatrix?
Speaker 4: I have one guy on my phone, who's my pay peg? Who?
Speaker 3: Wait?
Speaker 1: Is that are you going into leading into dominate trix
Speaker 1: stuff or.
Speaker 4: It's financial dominate dominate trix it's not necessarily yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'll give I'll give it. You be you'll be good
Speaker 4: at him. He's he's fine.
Speaker 3: I got him, so you don't have sex.
Speaker 4: I got him from Micah Fox too.
Speaker 2: Okay, so are you getting her?
Speaker 4: She's yeah, Like Bill's like, these.
Speaker 3: White women are making it happen.
Speaker 2: Girl, we are very behind, very.
Speaker 1: It's a pay pig. Okay.
Speaker 2: So it's some white man who's just even he's dropping
Speaker 2: money the account to any see him.
Speaker 4: Wait is it never? He'll try, but you never have
Speaker 4: to see him.
Speaker 2: And it's through like Square cash pay Pal, and he
Speaker 2: keep seeing.
Speaker 1: You get the money directly. You get it directly, like
Speaker 1: the same day. I mean, they charge you a dollar,
Speaker 1: but I just I'd rather get all the money like
Speaker 1: a day late.
Speaker 2: Don't take my dollar. I'm going to need Okay, so wait,
Speaker 2: go back to this paypic.
Speaker 4: So he just his fetish is being financially dominated. So
Speaker 4: he'll text me, wait, it's a lot on Fridays, you know,
Speaker 4: we just got paid, and he'll be like, Hi, what
Speaker 4: are you doing?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 4: K I will show you guys. It's so fun. It's
Speaker 4: so fun.
Speaker 1: Do you have a picture of him?
Speaker 4: I can show you because he's on Facebook. Let's see.
Speaker 1: I want to see the type of guys that are
Speaker 1: just like.
Speaker 2: They're texting ek click. Wait He's like what are you doing?
Speaker 2: And then you're like, I'm out here trying to pay
Speaker 2: some bounce my check book and he's like, oh.
Speaker 4: Legit, you don't even have to write a sentence. You
Speaker 4: just write send.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm so good at typing, Sad.
Speaker 4: I know you are. You'll I'll give you his number
Speaker 4: right now.
Speaker 3: And he'll see a picture of Marie with the banks.
Speaker 4: The picture just to know. But this is he.
Speaker 2: Looks like eke, Oh wait, what does he do?
Speaker 3: Bitch? He gonna kill you?
Speaker 2: What does he don't find any money?
Speaker 4: Here's the thing. I don't think I need to upgrade
Speaker 4: my pay pay. Yes, yeah, how much it's a similar
Speaker 4: person who's making more money than that.
Speaker 2: How much money? Does this still give you?
Speaker 4: Twenty bucks a pop? You can get like forty in
Speaker 4: one night, probably Max.
Speaker 1: Well that's nothing, girl.
Speaker 4: But it's money for nothing.
Speaker 2: That's like an uber that's an uber pool, a little
Speaker 2: Abu Dhabi pay pie.
Speaker 4: I know, but this is my first one. I'm just
Speaker 4: like a baby. I'm like a nod and it's brought.
Speaker 1: He's got a cat in his profile, Like, come on,
Speaker 1: and he's a cat.
Speaker 3: Dude, girl, you have.
Speaker 4: Two cats and they're dying range shut up.
Speaker 1: Shut up. That's why I eat he is gonna skin you,
Speaker 1: is gonna skin you. And where your where your skin
Speaker 1: your leather? Your skin is already leather. Yo.
Speaker 2: He got enough money to just be giving you money.
Speaker 2: Doesn't have any money.
Speaker 4: No, he's me and Mike. Mike and I will like
Speaker 4: play off each other, Like he'll text me, He'll be like, hey,
Speaker 4: what are you doing? I'm like, said Michael money.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sidney, how do we not know about these PAPIs?
Speaker 3: Listen?
Speaker 1: Because we're just trying to be independent women paying for
Speaker 1: our own things, even though you don't want to pay
Speaker 1: for your things. But you're like, you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do too much.
Speaker 2: It's not that, it's just I don't want to. I
Speaker 2: don't like owing anybody anything, right, I don't like like
Speaker 2: you give me money, like I don't. I feel like
Speaker 2: I don't like.
Speaker 1: Oh, but if somebody by your stake, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I owe you nothing.
Speaker 2: I don't know you nothing. We just we we broke
Speaker 2: red over like a file at like we talked. We discussed.
Speaker 4: You know, there was an exchange exactly.
Speaker 1: In exchange for you feeding me, you got to Karen, Karen,
Speaker 1: do you have any statistics like how many people are
Speaker 1: in open relationships in New York City.
Speaker 2: That sounds wrong in New York City as I made
Speaker 2: it up. It's like in New York City is probably more.
Speaker 4: It's probably a lot. People have different parameters and different
Speaker 4: rules though too, Like a lot some people are like, oh,
Speaker 4: we're in open relationships, but they'll just bring other people
Speaker 4: into their bedroom where they're both like swingers.
Speaker 2: Have you ever been to like a swingers party?
Speaker 4: No, but I've been invited.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you go? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I wasn't familiar with everybody who's gonna.
Speaker 2: Be there, so you just want to go.
Speaker 4: I guess I wasn't in the place. I think maybe
Speaker 4: I was in like a relationship. I wasn't in a
Speaker 4: Oh oh, you're like, oh this is too much. I'm
Speaker 4: still allowed to make decisions for myself.
Speaker 3: Oh, here we go.
Speaker 1: You can go to the swingers party and decide for
Speaker 1: yourself and just laugh at everybody and then eat the orders,
Speaker 1: like because you know else will be Yeah, who you
Speaker 1: should have just went there for the story, bitch, Like, come.
Speaker 2: On, come on, if somebody listen, if you're listening to
Speaker 2: this right now, when you want to invite me or
Speaker 2: Sydney Washington, Sidney Elizabeth Washington. I will a swingers party,
Speaker 2: will come. We might not sit on the swing with you,
Speaker 2: but we will.
Speaker 4: You guys will just point.
Speaker 1: I will wear my ti lim boots. I will wear
Speaker 1: my timble in boots and orgy.
Speaker 2: I will break my hair down and throw on a
Speaker 2: do rag with the tail out for the swinger part.
Speaker 1: I will wear white so as. I will wear a choker.
Speaker 1: You know chokers.
Speaker 2: Chokers are very wear damn chokers, Yeah they are. I'll
Speaker 2: wear a windbreaker around my waist.
Speaker 3: No, you will not.
Speaker 4: The swing party, he catch me.
Speaker 1: I will come. I will come with Adidas track suit
Speaker 1: that I can like just clip off like a terrible snap.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a windbreaker just around the waist.
Speaker 4: We'll go to one tonight.
Speaker 2: Okay, look fine, one fine one at paig to Wait.
Speaker 1: Would you would you go to a swingers party in
Speaker 1: New York City or out of state?
Speaker 4: I'm gonna want in New York like the New York.
Speaker 2: Ones are probably they probably have like one.
Speaker 4: Economically, I think that would be more.
Speaker 1: I feel like a swingers party in Miami would be popping.
Speaker 2: It mean, it sounds like a lot of cocaine and
Speaker 2: cocaine and fake asses.
Speaker 1: What wouldn't you want to go to orgy like that? No,
Speaker 1: what kind of orgy would you go?
Speaker 2: I need a clear head, shut up, and I don't
Speaker 2: I need people who don't have Like, does cocaine make
Speaker 2: you feel like you invincible?
Speaker 1: Yes, because I don't need you running up on.
Speaker 2: Me grabbing me cocaine muscles.
Speaker 4: We're gonna fly together, Marie.
Speaker 2: People show up with me and Marie, but they don't
Speaker 2: be on cocaine. They just arenaline. They're on white, they
Speaker 2: be on white, and they just I'm gonna go speak
Speaker 2: to Marie very She's very funny and approachable. She might
Speaker 2: be open to this.
Speaker 1: Hey Marie, it's me. You don't really know me. That's
Speaker 1: the story of my life. Hey, Marie, we're on the
Speaker 1: same train. I was just wondering if you want to
Speaker 1: get off at my stop because you have nothing to
Speaker 1: do and you should hang out.
Speaker 2: In true story for me, this white man said that
Speaker 2: to me on the train. Yeah, he complimented me. I responded,
Speaker 2: he was like, so I'm getting off here.
Speaker 4: Oh, in that case, let me get.
Speaker 1: Let me get my things, sir.
Speaker 2: If you won't get your one metrol cord on my face.
Speaker 1: He had that rolling backpack too, to traveling backpack.
Speaker 3: He had snacks in that bitch.
Speaker 5: He had had juicy juice this cold water, Marie, Yeah
Speaker 5: do Marie?
Speaker 1: Would you do an open relationship like I've in like
Speaker 1: six years from now?
Speaker 2: Six years from now?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why six years? I'm just saying because because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be thirty this podcast is over.
Speaker 3: I'm so done.
Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna be thirty years old and I'll be mature.
Speaker 1: Would I do an open relationship?
Speaker 2: I feel like my thing with relationships is I don't
Speaker 2: want to see you every day one and I don't
Speaker 2: want you asking me what I'm doing when I'm not
Speaker 2: with you.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: So I feel like, yeah, I could do an open
Speaker 2: relationship if it was like two people.
Speaker 1: Somebody's gonna catch you the whole foods and kill you,
Speaker 1: kill you. You're gonna be at the buffet, just stab
Speaker 1: you in the I am a traitor, Joe's ho. So
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be me at home foods.
Speaker 2: It's different.
Speaker 4: I mean, you don't know, And like with time with period,
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm not into doing open relationships
Speaker 4: now like I was sort of brought it up to
Speaker 4: the person I'm seeing because we have some trust issues.
Speaker 3: Like what's the issues?
Speaker 2: You don't trust him?
Speaker 4: Trust him? I mean he has I guess supposedly you
Speaker 4: know reason not to trust me. I would trust you implicitly,
Speaker 4: did you I.
Speaker 2: Feel I feel like I don't know if. I mean,
Speaker 2: you have this dress on and you do look trustworthy
Speaker 2: now and her hair is in a slick back, low pony.
Speaker 1: I can play trustworthy, yes, but you're giving me secretary vibes.
Speaker 4: Cast is trustworthy?
Speaker 1: No, you're somebody your eyebrows. Your eyebrows is like right,
Speaker 1: like a little mischievous.
Speaker 2: You have them jafarrouse. Yes, you got the ursula eyebrows.
Speaker 4: But I don't like all the guilt. And I learned
Speaker 4: you learn from different relationships being in an eight year relationship.
Speaker 4: It's wet under there.
Speaker 2: Why you care? Sidney trying to shove her feet under
Speaker 2: a canting my arm in the studio.
Speaker 1: We're in a fairy Famly.
Speaker 4: My arm is probably wetter than my pussy right now.
Speaker 2: Why would your pussy be wet at all?
Speaker 1: Because we're here, we're here? Why would you ask not talking.
Speaker 4: About Sidney dying? Cat?
Speaker 2: Mary?
Speaker 1: Just throw all the work.
Speaker 3: We're getting no work done here, no work done.
Speaker 2: It's so hot. It's so hot in here.
Speaker 1: We can't afford a c We're in the penthouse, but
Speaker 1: we have no a crack the door open for the
Speaker 1: next one. Yeah, we will because there'll be three black
Speaker 1: people in here.
Speaker 2: The next Okay, So, uh, what would you say?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 4: I feel like it like because there was so much
Speaker 4: infidelity and lying that this current relationship, well in the
Speaker 4: in my eight year relationship, that that's what led me
Speaker 4: to being like especially because I was dealing with putting
Speaker 4: drinking all the same time.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's right, you're sober. How long you've been sober?
Speaker 4: This time? Around a year and a half. Nice congrat
Speaker 4: I thank you appreciate that. Do you want to say
Speaker 4: how long it's been for you?
Speaker 1: Almost two years in October?
Speaker 2: You guys want know how long it's been for me?
Speaker 4: Twenty six hours less.
Speaker 2: She had a rose, She had a Kira Yell, had
Speaker 2: a couple of rose.
Speaker 1: She had a negron.
Speaker 4: That's fair.
Speaker 2: I did not have a NEGRONI I'm not an old
Speaker 2: ass man, an old white man. That's a summer dreamer
Speaker 2: named Charles birth named Edgar.
Speaker 1: Ethan.
Speaker 2: I'm here for the NEGRONI just one ice cube.
Speaker 1: A Tom Tom likes Tom. Oh my god, I hate it.
Speaker 4: A gimblet, A gimblet.
Speaker 1: I hate people who.
Speaker 2: Asked that he has a straight perfect Manhattan an old fashion. Wait,
Speaker 2: how did we get to these old white man drinks?
Speaker 3: I don't know?
Speaker 2: Okay, So Karen, did you have a story about something
Speaker 2: that she wanted to share?
Speaker 4: I got caught. So we had parameters.
Speaker 1: Why don't you say this on topic?
Speaker 4: You guys don't shut up?
Speaker 6: Very delirious, all right, So we have parameters.
Speaker 4: The rule because he was a comic was no comics.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I can hear everything?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 1: I can hear it? It's can hear Yeah, we're almost done.
Speaker 1: We're like nine hours. We got this.
Speaker 4: You gotta just breathe into it. You gotta.
Speaker 1: We're gonna sit outside for a little bit, so so listen.
Speaker 4: So whatever we got caught, I want to know how
Speaker 4: he caught me. Took the iPad that he had purchased
Speaker 4: for me and cracked into my eye cloud. Oh make up,
Speaker 4: so we can see my text messages on my phone.
Speaker 4: That's a guy for like CIA type of like shit, right?
Speaker 2: That is so white Man and the Lifetime movie realness
Speaker 2: right there, they found out the nickname I was calling
Speaker 2: the other dude and texted me that nickname and I
Speaker 2: was on a bus.
Speaker 4: I almost peid my pants. Was like, oh crap, because
Speaker 4: I had broken the rules. I had failed at being
Speaker 4: in an open relationship, but this one particular.
Speaker 1: How did you fail?
Speaker 4: Here's no comics, like on, just a pure numbers game.
Speaker 4: That's far more difficult than for me than it is
Speaker 4: for him. And I'm not saying that there's not beautiful
Speaker 4: women in comedy, of course, I'm just talking pure ratios.
Speaker 1: No, but he's gonna hook up with somebody who's not
Speaker 1: in comedy because he's a man. But if you're a woman,
Speaker 1: you're gonna hook up with a guy that's in comedy,
Speaker 1: which which sounds our options are like so scarce.
Speaker 4: You want to know what he did in the fuck up?
Speaker 4: So we My thing is like out of sight, out
Speaker 4: of mind. Don't ask hotel, but do not embarrass me.
Speaker 4: I'm still your girlfriend, you're my boyfriend. Do not embarrass me.
Speaker 1: Oh that's hard because you embarrassed yourself.
Speaker 2: Fine, but that's personal.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: Posted picture got tagged in a picture when he was
Speaker 4: in Canada with four other chicks.
Speaker 1: They have clothes.
Speaker 4: The caption said, this was the last time you know
Speaker 4: Keith whatever was ever seen again, very like, you know,
Speaker 4: they're like all over them, like hugging him and stuff.
Speaker 4: And it was like, he's in Canada. Of course he's
Speaker 4: gonna sleep with another girl.
Speaker 3: That's fine.
Speaker 4: I don't care. I assume you're going to But everybody
Speaker 4: can see that picture. Were they They were like basic
Speaker 4: Canadian can white.
Speaker 2: They look like bacon, basic fake bacon.
Speaker 4: Canadian bacon. So I, you know, I got really upset
Speaker 4: and I but I screen grabbed, of course the picture
Speaker 4: and he because he took it down immediately, and I
Speaker 4: just kept reposting it on his Facebook. You crazy woman,
Speaker 4: And again I was like, why are you taking this down?
Speaker 4: Why did you do this? Because I don't care what
Speaker 4: it is, but don't don't embarrass me. Don't do it,
Speaker 4: not not on Facebook, not on Instagram, to be like
Speaker 4: it was a very suggestive photo.
Speaker 1: It was that it's whatever. Was the sex good? Just
Speaker 1: let's talk about the skin to the.
Speaker 4: Six I told you was good. But he had some
Speaker 4: of the best sex I've ever had.
Speaker 1: What was the craziest time you've had with him?
Speaker 4: Crazy? We weren't that crazy. We were very like a marriage.
Speaker 2: That's the most sex that you guys had in a day.
Speaker 4: Probably, I don't know, four or five times?
Speaker 1: Nothing number, that's.
Speaker 3: Nothing, girl?
Speaker 1: What about.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't I plead the fifth three
Speaker 2: My mama to listen to the Podcastan is not going
Speaker 2: to listen to this podcastle okay, so zero times the
Speaker 2: amount of times.
Speaker 1: Sydney, how many times? Probably like six?
Speaker 4: She just had to do one more than what you said.
Speaker 1: I was on Molly though, so and I was in
Speaker 1: Miami and he paid for it.
Speaker 2: So like he paid for the Malli or the six
Speaker 2: Are you a prostitute?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I was on the record, was with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Then I found out he put the trip on his
Speaker 1: corporate card. I was like, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not on my card.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 4: So you're dating the company?
Speaker 2: Is the company still looking? Because I would actually be
Speaker 2: open to trying some MOLLI in Miami, Karen, I feel
Speaker 2: like we learned nothing.
Speaker 3: Not a damn thing.
Speaker 1: But we have a quiz.
Speaker 2: We have a quick quiz.
Speaker 1: It's going to be so oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: this is how we crown You were unofficial.
Speaker 2: Actually an expert in this. Okay, hold on, let me
Speaker 2: just get my quarts these cards at as.
Speaker 1: You're a great guest. We really enjoy you as a friend,
Speaker 1: learned nothing.
Speaker 2: Would never introduce you to my dad, though, because my
Speaker 2: dad is a judging ass passing you know what dad
Speaker 2: has passed up?
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. You know that's crazy?
Speaker 2: God, like the Bible is did my two six seventeen?
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm just trying to get to the fridge last.
Speaker 1: It's kind of slaxy.
Speaker 2: Got on when my dad say, in a high water
Speaker 2: up sweat pot in a high watertpant?
Speaker 1: Please what color with a light gray? Small?
Speaker 2: But like the elastic beast so like old that it
Speaker 2: doesn't like it's a trick.
Speaker 3: You gotta you gotta pin him up.
Speaker 2: He ties a rope from outside to a tree.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, we're gonna do this quiz.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, you're gonna do this quiz? Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 4: I didn't study?
Speaker 2: No, you know these But you're the expert, so well,
Speaker 2: it's not even really open.
Speaker 1: Relationship is just six stuff cool because you because you.
Speaker 2: A whole now youse, nou Karen? Can you need three
Speaker 2: sex positions where the woman is on top.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, reverse cowgirl. Okay, what's just
Speaker 4: regular being on top? What's that called?
Speaker 1: That's called hill?
Speaker 4: But I don't know. I don't know. What's like a
Speaker 4: like a like a scissors style one?
Speaker 2: Is that both people on the same level?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's that? I don't know that move?
Speaker 2: Canney?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like so like if that's like a visual
Speaker 4: thing so he can see both your ass and.
Speaker 1: Your Oh okay, we'll take that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know that move.
Speaker 1: I've done that before. It's good.
Speaker 4: It's good because if he has good enough arms, you
Speaker 4: can hold onto his arms. I'm all about like leverage
Speaker 4: so I can get the best out of my lower body.
Speaker 2: You are strengthen your core while you're doing that.
Speaker 4: You're right here.
Speaker 1: I'm here for that. Okay, you didn't get all three,
Speaker 1: but that's fine.
Speaker 4: Regular what's regular woman on top? What's that called?
Speaker 2: I think that's just again called not your last time?
Speaker 1: What is a dirty Sanchez?
Speaker 4: I don't know. Is that like like some ship like
Speaker 4: like has a new poop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're getting, you're getting, You're getting.
Speaker 2: The city Elizabeth Washington is gross.
Speaker 4: Whatever it is it's gross, Sanchez, I don't know. Somebody
Speaker 4: eats your bi and then kisses you, you get like
Speaker 4: a mustache, like a poop mustache.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you that. Don't give you that. I'll
Speaker 1: give you that. Do do do Do Do Do do do.
Speaker 4: Brothers.
Speaker 2: Okay, here's here's the number three miss off. What's the
Speaker 2: difference between an orgy and a train?
Speaker 4: So like an orgy, there's like multiple couples and people
Speaker 4: like sucking a fucking and a train is just when
Speaker 4: a bunch of dudes run a train on a whole.
Speaker 2: Now can a group of women run a train on
Speaker 2: a dude?
Speaker 4: I don't see why not.
Speaker 1: We should be able to. We have rights. Okay, I
Speaker 1: want to see a woman. I want to see a
Speaker 1: couple of women run a train on a Jamal. Why
Speaker 1: can't it be an Edgar? No, that is not train
Speaker 1: worthy name. That sounds like the conductor, not the train.
Speaker 4: I kind of want to like rape one of these
Speaker 4: like male comics talking ship, just to see if you'll
Speaker 4: go to the police ride if you can.
Speaker 2: If you rape a male comedian, who would you rape
Speaker 2: Tim Dylan?
Speaker 1: Really?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't think he would let you rap him.
Speaker 4: T Lane what Joe Kim boostera comics. Yeah, those are
Speaker 4: the only ones and I feel comfortable raping.
Speaker 2: That's awful. Okay, what's the last question? You go see
Speaker 2: the last question and for the for the one.
Speaker 1: Hundred thousand million dollars. Okay, this is the big question.
Speaker 3: Are you ready? Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Hand?
Speaker 3: Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Expert?
Speaker 3: Name a state where polygamy is legal?
Speaker 4: Oh fucking it's like iowor Idaho or Oregon or something.
Speaker 4: It's like one of these middle of the country square estates.
Speaker 4: Have never seen a body of water.
Speaker 2: Fucking creeps.
Speaker 4: It's Wisconsin or something that's that's neara.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 4: What is that? Fuck like? It's where? Bring him in?
Speaker 2: Young?
Speaker 4: Is that university? It's the Mormon where's the state?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 4: What's the Mormon state?
Speaker 1: Utah?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you got it? Are the hip? My friend, sister,
Speaker 1: I don't like you got it?
Speaker 2: Could you imagine being married to somebody and they're being
Speaker 2: other people also married to that person? Do you want
Speaker 2: to get married?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I wouldn't marry you anyway.
Speaker 4: I hate the institution of marriage. I think that brides
Speaker 4: are the most selfish monsters on the planet. Why do
Speaker 4: they need to make their friends spend so much money
Speaker 4: because they take so much time?
Speaker 1: That's absolutely so. You could always go like Justice of
Speaker 1: the Peace.
Speaker 4: That's like yes, sure. If I were to ever be
Speaker 4: forced to get married because of whatever legal trouble I'm in,
Speaker 4: I would go to the justice. I would go to
Speaker 4: city Hall. I don't even tell anybody.
Speaker 2: Would you wear a white suit?
Speaker 4: Listen, I'd wear a body suit.
Speaker 1: Wed hal A wedding for me is where I cash
Speaker 1: out on my friends. All the times I held your hair,
Speaker 1: all the times we stayed up till six six am talking.
Speaker 3: You want to get my money, and that's how I
Speaker 3: got to do.
Speaker 2: I can never help my hair, and anytime we've ever
Speaker 2: been on the phone until six minutes because of the
Speaker 2: problem that you were agreed so you ain't cash.
Speaker 1: I wasn't including you in that. Okay, yeah you're not.
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like she wants me. I
Speaker 2: want to be the ring bear. I want to be
Speaker 2: the little a little tuxedo, tiny ass pillow.
Speaker 4: You don't even tell you said like a bride emoji.
Speaker 4: I did it.
Speaker 1: That is very very correct, Like.
Speaker 2: This is very mean of you, Sidney Elizabeth.
Speaker 1: This has been outstanding. We've had so much fun with you,
Speaker 1: fee Han.
Speaker 2: And do you have anything else that you want to
Speaker 2: say about open relationships before we go?
Speaker 4: I like what I like what I said in the beginning.
Speaker 1: I think she said enough. I think we're good. I
Speaker 1: think we want to know about your projects. Where can
Speaker 1: we catch you? You have a show, right, I have.
Speaker 4: A show called Stand Up and Take Your Clothes Off?
Speaker 4: Of course, it's the all running it's the longest running
Speaker 4: all female show in New York City. October will be
Speaker 4: our five year anniversary. It's the first Sunday of every month.
Speaker 3: Or we don't know when we're gonna put this out, but.
Speaker 4: But that's fine because it's the first Sunday of every month.
Speaker 1: Okay, the first Sunday of every month. In it's burlesque
Speaker 1: as well, right right, Marie and I have definitely done
Speaker 1: that show, and it's been so much fun.
Speaker 2: And I was so upset that nobody wanted me to take.
Speaker 1: My clothes off. I did.
Speaker 3: I was waiting.
Speaker 1: I was like, come on, let me see. And also
Speaker 1: you're on TV too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my big fat, fabulous life. I am the all
Speaker 4: Morosa of that show. You are out here.
Speaker 2: Has got a promotion she's Donald Trump's Minister of Black People.
Speaker 4: That does not seem like that's the title.
Speaker 2: She's the gatherer of Negroes. She's the negro whisperer, speaking
Speaker 2: of negroes. Sidney and I two Negresses on the podcast
Speaker 2: right now. We have a monthly comedy show also called
Speaker 2: the warm Up. Warm Up the second Saturday of every month,
Speaker 2: Karma Lounge, Karma Lounge, every sing.
Speaker 1: It literally is the hottest show. It has the hottest people,
Speaker 1: hottest comedians.
Speaker 2: And we're hot in the in the basement. What fuego
Speaker 2: the Fuego, very very hot, guys. Thank you so much
Speaker 2: for listening.
Speaker 3: It's been so much fun.
Speaker 2: Check out feehand. Where can they find you?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Can you spell your name so people know where to
Speaker 2: find you? Or do you not want people to find
Speaker 2: you because they they don't found you?
Speaker 4: They can follow me on Twitter at k free Hams.
Speaker 4: That is a handle I created to trick fat people
Speaker 4: into following me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, free hamps.
Speaker 2: You know what I feel like, We're good.
Speaker 1: What about Instagram?
Speaker 4: Same handle? But you can just if my name is
Speaker 4: my name is spelled weird. Okay, my mother did it.
Speaker 4: She thinks it's cool. Green shout out Maureen Bhan Loreen
Speaker 4: Tutan pan o g two tan og two tan. But
Speaker 4: it's k e r r y n. It's like erin
Speaker 4: with a K. It's a short e. I'm sorry, terrible.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you, Queen of all the way Quemen.
Speaker 2: You have been a gym.
Speaker 3: This so much fun. Thank you.
Speaker 4: Even in the heat, it was fun.
Speaker 3: I love you so much.
Speaker 1: Thanks guy, Bye bye for you.
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