WEBVTT - #130 The only guarantee in life 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:02.759 And humans will go through this, and if you're listening 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.960 and you haven't, you will. It's a guarantee you're gonna 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.520 lose a parent or a grandparent, or a cousin or 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:13.760 a sibling you're going to or a friend. It's just 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:16.560 a matter of time because the one thing we all 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:20.280 have in this life guaranteed is we all have an 0:00:20.280 --> 0:00:35.280 expiration date. What's up, guys, Welcome to the podcast, Episode 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:40.520 one point thirty. Thanks for listening wherever you're coming from, Spotify, iTunes, YouTube, 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:43.720 wherever you might becoming. It also streams on AfterMidnight dot com. 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:46.920 So however you find, you found me maybe TikTok. Thank 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:50.280 you for being here. This is where I answer your questions. 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:52.720 You could email me anything. We could talk about any 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.280 subject as though we're sitting around a campfire or in 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:57.200 the cab of a pickup and you say, hey, man, 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:00.080 I got something that's been on my mind lately. You 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.040 mind if I run it by you and then we 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:04.960 walk through it. I'm not always right, but we'll walk 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.520 through it as though we're friends. Right, You email Grangersmith 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:11.000 Podcast at gmail dot com. I'll put it in the 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.839 queue and we'll get to it. Okay, first question says 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:19.160 subject line creative block, need help. Hey Granger, longtime fan 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.479 and listener of the podcast. Love everything you do, Keep 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:23.959 it up. My name is Levi. I'm nineteen years old. 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.000 I work the night shift from eight thirty pm to 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.479 five am Sunday through Thursday night, and I haven't found 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.280 the urge to pick up my guitar and write like 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:33.640 I used to. I have other projects that I work on, 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.360 including having the opportunity to be a segment producer for 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:40.080 a live fundse raisor event that went really well, thank God. 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:43.400 But since I started the job, I've had writer's block 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:47.000 and it's driving me crazy. I also recently moved to Brooklyn, 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:49.600 New York from a small town in Ohio, so it's 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.760 hard to adjust. It is seasonal, so it's going to 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:54.760 end soon. But I can't help but feel like I 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:56.680 should be working on more of the things that I 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.040 want to do. Should I quit and start working on 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:03.120 my music and other projects? Thank you for your time, Levi. 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.680 What's up, buddy? Thank you for writing. Uh, it's a 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.240 it's a great question. I deal with writer's block. I 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:11.440 think I think everybody, every creative deals with writer's block. 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:14.240 Everyone that has to write anything is going to have 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.280 this kind of obstacle. So a couple of things going 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:20.720 on with you, the change of environment that that can 0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:24.040 affect you positively or negatively. You could go into a 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:27.640 new place and suddenly feel creative and start writing like crazy. 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:30.160 You could also go into a new place like you're 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:35.120 doing and feel nothing. All this will change over time. 0:02:36.320 --> 0:02:39.079 It also could happen when you're really busy. You could 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.320 you could have the same result. You could You could 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:44.880 get really busy and feel like I have nothing. Maybe 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:46.560 my brain is too clogged up, I have nothing to 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.600 write about. At the same time, you could also be 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.560 really busy and suddenly the doors open and you have 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:56.960 so much creativity you can't stop writing. I've seen all 0:02:57.000 --> 0:03:00.400 of these scenarios play out with me. The most important 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:04.840 thing is have your phone, your notes, and your voice 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.079 memos ready to go at any time, because when you're 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.680 in a block, you could still have titles come to you, 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:15.440 or melody ideas come to you, or different lines that 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.320 fall out, but you need to write it down right. Then. 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:20.520 You could also dream about it and you get up 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:21.600 the next day and you go, man, I had the 0:03:21.639 --> 0:03:23.920 weirdest dream. And then you remember it and jot some 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:27.640 of it down. So then when the creative doors open 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.160 back up, you go to your phone and you start 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.520 going through the list of things that you said and 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.800 the recordings that you've mumbled into your phone during your 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:39.400 writer's block. I have found with me that I could 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.800 go for I've gone as long as two years without 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:45.480 writing anything, and then usually what happens is all of 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:49.160 a sudden, the floodgates open and I'm writing everything. It's 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:52.280 actually what I'm doing right now. I've written an entire 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:56.240 album in about sixty days, and before that I hadn't 0:03:56.240 --> 0:04:01.200 written in a year and a half. Luckily, I'm used 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:03.800 to this process and I've been doing it for twenty 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:05.920 five years, so I know me. So I don't get 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.320 discouraged in the writer's block. I just wait. And that's 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.080 the best thing you could do is wait. You could 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:14.680 you could be busy, you could be completely bored, and 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.440 you could still have writer's block, or you could have 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:20.560 the floodgates open. So trust yourself, trust the process, Trust 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.880 that you are a creative that you will eventually write again. 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.039 You will eventually think of melodies on your guitar again. 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:31.080 I don't recommend quitting. That's what you're asking, Should I 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:35.120 quit and start working on music? Not necessarily, because you 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.440 could quit and still have writer's block, and then what 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.279 are you gonna do. You've got all this time in 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:43.599 the world and you're stuck. One thing you could practice 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:48.200 is practice starting songs and finishing songs, even if they're 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.400 not good. You could write a song and be like, 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.440 this is terrible, but since I'm in a block right now, 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.400 I'm gonna go ahead and finish it even though it's 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:58.960 not good. Just for the practice of starting and finishing 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.440 a song to get it under your belt and start 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:04.320 another one. You could then go back years later, and 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.760 I've done this many times years later and look at 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:09.680 those bad songs and think that was a bad song, 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.680 but that second verse is actually pretty cool, or there's 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.080 one thing I did in the chorus that I really like, 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:18.279 and then that can become an entire new song for me. 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:21.560 I've done this many times, including Beary Me and Blue Jeans. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:24.760 That was a song that had floated around for seven 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:28.000 or eight years, and then one day, as I was 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:29.760 thinking about titles, I was like, man, look at that 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.520 title bearing me in blue Jeans. That's a terrible song 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:34.920 that I wrote, but maybe there's something there, and then 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:39.279 within an hour the song in its current state was born. 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.640 So you're doing all the right things. Don't just up 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.480 and quit what you're what you're doing right now. The 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:48.000 best thing to do is wait, take notes, and wait. 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:50.680 It'll open back up. Thanks for the thanks for the 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.200 Thanks for the email, Buddy, and I wish you the 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:59.640 best on this. All right, here's one that says Texas 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.000 or but that's the subject line. Hey Granger, I'd like 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:05.560 to remain anonymous. I'm seventeen years old. I'm from a 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.400 small town around Clemson, South Carolina. I want to go 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.440 to college in Texas so bad, and I've talked to 0:06:11.480 --> 0:06:13.920 my parents about it and they're just not for it 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.400 because it'd be so far. But they also would support 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:21.320 anything I do. So I know. I'm only seventeen, I'm 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:23.520 almost a senior in high school. But I don't want 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.880 to leave home and end up wanting to move back 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.640 while I'm in college. I desire to see what life 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.000 looks like outside of here, but I value my family 0:06:32.120 --> 0:06:34.520 a lot here. At the end of the day, I 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:36.640 know that I need to do what's best for me 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:40.599 in my future. I'm just not quite sure how. Thank 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:44.560 you all right, Anonymous, that's a great question. I'm going 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:48.080 to lean towards taking that step that makes you nervous, 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.720 and I'm going to lean towards you taking this adventure 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:56.000 and leaving your home state, leaving your hometown, going across 0:06:56.000 --> 0:07:01.960 the country, a new adventure, new friends, new contacts, new experiences, 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.680 all that will help grow you. You could judge yourself 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.279 by what makes you a little bit nervous. So things 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.680 that make you nervous, sometimes you lean into those things. 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:17.000 Those are the hard things. Lean into harder decisions. Right, 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.840 you come to a fork in the road, take the 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.280 harder path. And if you do that again on another 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:25.400 path and it forks, and you take the harder one, 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.480 and you do that seven or eight times in a row, 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.440 then you look back and you've made seven or eight 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.760 hard decisions that it forks in the road. Your life, 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.680 by then, by seven or eight of these turns, is 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.320 dramatically different than people around you. People are going to 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.640 look at you and go, this person is different. Their 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:46.800 life is interesting, it's exciting, it is very evolved in 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:49.280 a way that mine is not. And you could always 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.840 trace that to that person making the harder decisions, leaning 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:55.840 into things that made them a little uneasy. If you 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.600 take the easy path every time, you're going to have 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:03.440 a very easy, normal life. And usually things that come 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:07.559 easy don't last very long, and things that come hard 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:13.520 last longer. Rights, it's it's just life. And I'm not 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:15.880 saying do this at every single time you ever make 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.760 a decision. You can't do that. But this one, right here, 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.000 this sounds like something you take the harder path and 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:28.600 then separate yourself from the pack. The whole caveat in 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:30.440 this whole thing is that once you make that kind 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.600 of decision and you say I'm gonna take a leap, 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:36.079 I'm gonna go away from the family, away from my hometown, 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:38.320 if you have the opportunity to do it, it it looks 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:42.520 it sounds like you do. You could still turn back. 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:45.720 You can go for one semester and go this is 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:48.360 not for me, this is not what I thought. I 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.160 need to go back. I need to rewind, go back 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.200 to South Carolina and start over. You could make that 0:08:54.320 --> 0:08:57.240 kind of decision. Now, it's harder as you get older, 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.239 it's harder and harder to go back on a DECISONI 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:05.079 and start over again. But at seventeen eighteen. You can 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:09.400 make mistakes. You could dare mighty things right now, and 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:12.440 then you can always go and start over, take the 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.560 easier path the leader. Does that make sense? That's where 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.560 I would lean. I don't want your parents to get 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.720 upset and you to leave their nest. But at the 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.640 same time, I think that's what's best for you in 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.400 the situation, to leave the nest. Fill out your wings, 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.160 try to fire a little bit. If you fall, you 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:37.160 go back to the nest. It's a good question. All right, 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:41.440 I'm gonna scroll. I'm gonna randomly scroll here. Here's the 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.960 subjic Cline says, reading slash interpreting the Bible. Hey, Grangeer, 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:47.320 shout out from Missouri. First, I just want to say 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.160 I'm a big fan of yours. You're such a positive 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:51.880 inspiration in my life. I'm in college right now, and 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.280 within the last year I have become a lot more 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:57.440 serious about my faith. I love watching sermons and listening 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:59.640 to podcasts in the mornings, but I struggle when it 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:02.480 comes to actually reading the Bible. I don't know where 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.040 to start or how much to read. I also feel 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.280 like I have tried to read it and I'm just 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:10.320 not good at interpreting it and I missed the whole message. 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:16.880 Please help. Yeah, great question. As far as where to start. 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:18.960 First of all, I think I think it's important that 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:22.640 we read the Bible. If you are listening to this 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:24.920 and you think I don't have any faith, I'm not 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.320 a Christian, I have no reason to read the Bible, 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.280 I would I would challenge you on that and say, 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.320 even if you're a non believer, you're not a faithful person. 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.920 You're not you know, I hate that word, but you're 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:38.959 not religious at all. I would challenge you on that 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:42.800 question and just say, if there was a book that 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:47.120 has impacted the world so much, that has has been 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:49.959 put in the hands of more people than any other 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:55.240 book in history, that has shaped culture, that has shaped humanity, 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:59.560 that has built nations, that has broken nations, that has 0:10:59.600 --> 0:11:03.880 caused that has caused peace, that has become part of 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.560 the embedded culture that we live in in so many 0:11:07.559 --> 0:11:11.040 different places in the world for so many decades, so 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:14.800 many centuries, so many millennia, then I would ask you, 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:19.439 if there was such book, would you read it out 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.680 of curiosity? Would you read a book like that? Well, 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.680 the book I'm referring to is an existence. It's the Bible. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.839 So if you're a non believer, I would challenge you 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:32.640 and say, would you not just read it as a 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:37.520 piece of historical literature. It's not offered in schools, it's 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:43.280 not offered in any really any program. Would you go 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.120 and seek it out and go? You know what? This 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.920 is such a huge part of humanity. This has shaped 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:51.040 our culture so much, this book that I would love 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.600 to read it just to see what it's all about 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.559 and then walk away from it if you want. That 0:11:56.600 --> 0:12:00.480 would be my challenge. But that's not your question. Here 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:02.880 is where would you start? You know it's important, but 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.040 where would you start? Well, I would say you could 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.120 start in a few different places. One you could start 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:12.120 in Genesis, that's where the book starts. You could start 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:15.400 in Matthew, which is where the New Testament starts. You 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:18.520 could also start in a place like John Luke, any 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.640 place in the Gospel. You can't really go wrong. So 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.679 if you start with John one, the beginning of the 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.920 Book of John, and read it through, and once you finish, 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.040 go to Luke, go to Mark, go to Matthew. If 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:34.840 you finish all those, move on to acts. Finish that 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.600 keep on moving forward through the New Testament, finish that 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:41.319 start back over in Genesis. I think you would find 0:12:41.320 --> 0:12:44.160 it interesting if you actually started at where things start, 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:49.560 the beginning of any of the books. What's important is 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:54.840 to find a Bible that has a some kind of 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:57.560 reference guide to it, or some kind of teaching guide 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.319 to it. So, for instance, say you start with a 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:05.000 Book of John, find you a learning bible that has 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:09.040 a preference on where John came from, who wrote it, 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.240 when they wrote it, why they wrote it, how they 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.120 wrote it, and how it got out to the people, 0:13:16.000 --> 0:13:18.880 and then eventually how is it collected? Why is the 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:24.480 Book of John part of this canon? And there's so 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:28.200 many teaching teaching books teaching Bibles that will walk you 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.920 through that as you're reading it. Sometimes they'll have a 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.480 couple pages before the book starts to say this is 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:35.360 where it came from, this is the timeline, this is 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.000 when it happened, this is who John was when he 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.079 wrote it. And some of them also will walk through 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:44.280 as you're reading and say, what you just read, here's 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.200 what he meant by that, here's the connection with that. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.040 You could find these anywhere. You could do it right 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:53.760 there on your phone, You could do it on your iPad, 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:55.640 you could do it on your computer, or you can 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:59.240 go get a good old paper book. And I would 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.120 highly recommend that this is a route you take. And 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:05.400 I would also recommend that you just start in slow blocks. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:07.600 Don't look at the Bible and go, how am I 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:10.360 going to read that whole chapter today? It's so boring 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.040 to me and I don't understand it. Well, don't read 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:16.360 the whole chapter. Read a paragraph, aim lower, aim lower 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:20.360 than you're doing. Read one paragraph and then google that 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.520 paragraph and try to get some kind of context on 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.880 what that means, and then you could help interpret it 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.720 yourself through the context that you're reading through the study guide. 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.160 There is a great YouTube channel called the Bible Project. 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.280 It's really good. It's animated and they draw it and 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.880 they do the timeline, they do the maps, they do 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.360 who wrote it? And why all this stuff in the 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:47.280 Bible Projects. So once again, say we're reading the Book 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:52.880 of John, YouTube the Bible Project Book of John. It's 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:54.720 going to come up. It's got a couple million hits 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:56.720 on it, so you can't miss it and click on 0:14:56.760 --> 0:15:00.240 that watch that video before you read, or after, or 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:04.440 both or in between. But the animated idea as they 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.120 draw it out for you. Super simple will help you understand. Oh, 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.320 that's why i'm reading, that's where this came from. That's 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:16.520 who John was, that's why John was inspired to write it, 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.920 That's how it got out to the people later. Those 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.640 kind of answers are important to me. I'm a history 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:25.880 major in college. I don't like to read something vague 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:30.160 and misunderstood and have no context to it. I love 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.920 to know the history, where it came from, how it 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.120 got to my hands. And when you hold any Bible, 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:40.200 it's also important to know how impossible it was that 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.080 it ended up in your hands, and how many people 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:45.840 died so that it could be in your hands, the 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.120 blood that was shed so that those words could now 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:53.040 be in your hands, and this free country is unbelievable. 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:57.800 It blows my mind and it should yours too, and 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:04.160 I would encourage you to do this great question. Okay, 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:09.480 next question, subject line says cowardly like behavior. Hey, I'm Andrea. 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:12.560 I'm from Hebron, Illinois. Is that how I say it? 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.800 I've been in a lot of actual relationships with men, 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.200 but one thing is pretty common amongst them all. Why 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:22.920 do men have a fear of telling women they don't 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:26.240 want to be with them, they either ghost us or 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.560 just come up with another excuse. This last dude told 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:33.400 me my roommate, told my roommate everything instead of telling 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.920 me anything. That last thing it says, this dude told 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:42.040 my roommate everything instead of telling me anything. Yeah, Andrea, 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:45.960 I think I don't disagree with you, and I hear you, 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:48.440 and I think it's a good question, and I think 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:53.200 the best answer I can give is humans are hesitant 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:57.240 to break someone's heart, and we will go to great 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:01.320 links to not break some one's heart with the truth. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:05.720 And so many times the truth is the heartbreaking caveat 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:10.479 in the situation. So a guy is gonna feel more 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.080 comfortable telling your roommate how he feels or how he 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:18.600 doesn't feel towards you because it's not going to break 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:20.720 her heart. It's not going to break the roommate's heart, 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.480 so he gets it off his chest and he might 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.280 think maybe she'll slip some of this information to her, 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.320 And I'm out. I agree with you that this is 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.600 cowardly like behavior. I don't disagree with that at all. 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:37.080 I'm just trying to explain better why you're seeing it 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:40.160 and why it happens and why it could happen again. 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.520 We do this since we were two years old, since 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:47.320 we're toddlers. We try to be we try to use scapegoats, 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:50.159 which is, by the way to the last question, a 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:54.359 cultural biblical reference scapegoat. But we try to use scapegoats 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.879 to get us out of feeling the pain of the 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:59.640 heartbreak that we want to actually say. That's why two 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.959 year old blame other people for the very thing that 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.200 they took or stole or lied about. And that doesn't 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:09.320 change as we get older. We would rather tell someone 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.280 else than to tell the person because they're going to 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:14.520 see through us. They're going to know we're telling the 0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:17.880 truth through our eyes, and we don't want to see 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.240 that heartbreak back reflected to us. Right, So that's why 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.879 we do it. As humans. You can encourage this in 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:27.800 a relationship. If you start seeing that, you could say, hey, 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:31.639 are you not into me? Just be straight up with me, 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:34.040 Be straight up with me. Are you not into this? 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.320 Because I could take it. I need you to tell 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.639 me and then let them dish it out to you. 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:45.240 Right there. It's a good question. I wish you the best. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:51.400 Let's grab another this question subject, client says, need help 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.800 feeling lost. Hey grand your My name is Sidney. I'm 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:57.800 from Michigan. I'm having a very hard time dealing with 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.919 the feeling of grief and emptiness. On March twenty ninth, 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:03.080 twenty twenty, I lost my brother in law and my 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:07.600 nephew in a boting accident. As the date approaches closer, 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.040 things just seem to get harder. Ever since receiving that 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.520 phone call, I've always felt this empty hole in my 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:16.040 life that I cannot ignore. I feel a lot of 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:18.879 anger towards God for what happened, and I'm having a 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.800 hard time letting that go. I know that void will 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.800 never be feeled, but I need some advice on how 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:27.360 to overcome the anger and be thankful for the memories 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:31.600 that I hold on to. Thanks Sidney, Thank you, Sidney. 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:34.520 Great question, and shout out to Michigan where you're from. 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:40.160 I love that state you are. You're talking about something 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:44.240 that happened two years ago, almost to the day, and 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.040 it's understandable as the date comes around that you're going 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:53.680 to feel more sadness, more grief around the date the anniversary, 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.879 the seasons are changing exactly like they were then In 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:03.840 twenty twenty. The holiday that we're coming around is the same, 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:06.240 the feeling is the same. You're wearing the same kind 0:20:06.320 --> 0:20:08.880 of clothes that you were wearing in twenty twenty when 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:12.960 this happened. There's all kinds of references that are going 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.320 to remind you that it's kind of like, have you 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:21.439 ever gotten food poisoning? And then it's so hard to 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:24.840 go back and eat that same food that made you sick. 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.520 So say it's pizza. You get food poisoning at some 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:31.840 pizza place, and then for months after that you're like, 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:34.720 I don't really feel like pizza, but we know it's 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:38.720 not the pizza. It was the poisoned pizza that made 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:42.520 you sick. It was that one slim chance of the 0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:45.680 freak accident that you got that one slice of pizza 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:48.880 that was bad. So you can't blame all the rest 0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:51.159 of the pizza that you could ever have in the 0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:53.960 rest of your life. But that's the association we make 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:57.560 with it. So you are associating that date March twenty nine, 0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:01.160 twenty twenty, with everything that's going around you right now, 0:21:01.160 --> 0:21:04.440 with the seasons. This is springtime. Oh yeah, that's what 0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:07.240 happens in spring, is I get sad. That's what happens 0:21:07.240 --> 0:21:11.040 when I eat pizza, I get sick. When really that's 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:14.280 a weak correlation, but that's what we do as humans. 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:17.040 Our brain makes that connection. So that's what you're feeling, 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:21.159 and that's why these anniversaries are so hard. But I 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:24.840 will tell you this, Sidney, every anniversary that goes by 0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:30.040 gets a little less painful every time. So the first 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:32.960 one is the hardest. You very rarely would be on 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.520 the second anniversary and go, this second one is harder 0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.600 than the first one, and it might not be my much, 0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:42.560 but you got to take that as a stride forward. 0:21:42.960 --> 0:21:45.000 You got to look at the second anniversary and go, 0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:49.280 this hurts. I'm sad, but here's your benefit. But it's 0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:51.719 not as sad as the first one. I was wrecked 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:55.000 on the first one. Now I'm ninety percent wrecked on 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:58.119 the second one. And by the third anniversary you might say, 0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:02.119 this time around, I'm eighty per recked, but you're making progress. 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:05.200 It's very rare you'd be on the fifth one and go, 0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:08.280 this is the worst of them all. I'm feeling more sadness, 0:22:08.320 --> 0:22:11.080 more grief ever on the fifth anniversary of their death 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:14.720 than I was on the first, So you got to 0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:18.440 take those those little victories in your mind and use 0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:21.520