Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of
Speaker 1: hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now. I was just imagine
Speaker 1: a big two dog. My voice is so shot. I
Speaker 1: can't even scream the way that I normally scream. But
Speaker 1: it is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny
Speaker 1: g Radio, back at it again on a Saturday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're still alive. Yeah. Now I feel fine.
Speaker 1: The voice not feeling fine, unfortunately, And I don't know
Speaker 1: what happened, Bro, I don't know what happened, man, but
Speaker 1: it's it's all messed up anyway. Uh. The Fifth Hour,
Speaker 1: I assume you know by now, and normally does not
Speaker 1: sound my part crabby. Danny's got the great pipes and
Speaker 1: he sounds fine. Uh. And then I have the sick
Speaker 1: cold voice, which we'll get more into. I have the
Speaker 1: on this edition of the Fifth Hour. It is a
Speaker 1: spinoff of the radio show, which has heard on Fox
Speaker 1: Sports Radio Monday through Friday on the overnight. And if
Speaker 1: you're relatively new and you don't remember Danny G. Danny
Speaker 1: G was with me for many years as one of
Speaker 1: my producers, an engineer, and he came up with many
Speaker 1: of the great drops that some are still paid played today.
Speaker 1: But he put his own spin on the sound of
Speaker 1: the show. And there's that one song that you came
Speaker 1: up with that you found you didn't write, the song
Speaker 1: that we still playing. And I've had radio people asked
Speaker 1: me what the name of that song is. It's get
Speaker 1: the Weekend Started or something like that. You know that
Speaker 1: the weekend song, that the Debbie deb song Lookout Weekend. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that I've had multiple people say what is that song.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, and I'm like, Danny G
Speaker 1: came up with that. I don't know what the hell
Speaker 1: that is. I have no idea, but yeah, Ever since
Speaker 1: I was a little kid fourteen years old on kb
Speaker 1: d G ninety point nine FM, every Friday we would
Speaker 1: play that song and so all through my adult life,
Speaker 1: I would always use that song going into the weekend.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a great song, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is, and then I had
Speaker 1: to ask somebody, and then he said, yeah, and I
Speaker 1: know we've been playing it since you were we're doing it.
Speaker 1: You were the one that founded and were still playing
Speaker 1: Who knew anyway. On this edition, we've met the Holiday Blues,
Speaker 1: Hotel Bed, Nightmare, Rain of Palooza, and the debut if
Speaker 1: we have time for pop Quiz. We used to do
Speaker 1: pop Quiz back in the past, and I thought, why
Speaker 1: not bring it back? So if if we have time,
Speaker 1: but we begin Danny with Holiday Blues. And this is
Speaker 1: a reminder in life. Every once in a while in
Speaker 1: life you need a reminder. And as you know, Danny,
Speaker 1: I do not take a lot of time off. I
Speaker 1: believe in hoarding my time off and squirreling away my
Speaker 1: days off until the end of the year. And so
Speaker 1: in I did that. I I think I had missed
Speaker 1: some time at the beginning here because my father passed away,
Speaker 1: But once I came back, I was there. I was in.
Speaker 1: I think I missed maybe one or two game shows
Speaker 1: the entire year. Very good at Tendants. They don't give
Speaker 1: you a bonus for that. By the way, if you're wondering.
Speaker 1: They don't give you like an extra you know, a
Speaker 1: couple of bucks or anything that. Uh. And there's also
Speaker 1: the story I'm about to tell is a reminder that
Speaker 1: God laughs. Quote that quote, God laughs at you while
Speaker 1: you're making plans. Uh. So I had all these big
Speaker 1: plans for the end of the year. Uh. And you know,
Speaker 1: I love doing the show, and I love radio. But
Speaker 1: after a while, I get tired of hearing my own
Speaker 1: voice and I just want to go away and not
Speaker 1: talk and not have to worry about monologues and this
Speaker 1: that and the other thing, all these things. You know,
Speaker 1: we all have our own problems, whatever job you have.
Speaker 1: So my expectation, Danny, I was gonna like, we're gonna
Speaker 1: small road trip, you know, me and the wife clean
Speaker 1: out the storage. That was a big one because I
Speaker 1: still have a lot of stuff in storage from moving
Speaker 1: during the middle of So I was gonna go through storage.
Speaker 1: And I guess how much of that happened, Danny, want
Speaker 1: to take a guess how much of that happened. Judging
Speaker 1: by your voice, I'm gonna say none of it happened. Zero,
Speaker 1: That is correct. You You win, Dan. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you win. But you went to her lifetime supply
Speaker 1: of nothing that's right and tripped to nowhere. And uh,
Speaker 1: this this is not a SOB story, although it sounds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds like a sub story. So so anyway, Um,
Speaker 1: I we went to a Christmas Eve family event. I
Speaker 1: was only off the day before. Um. So we went
Speaker 1: to this Christmas evening and you know, family was there, whatever,
Speaker 1: friends of the family were showing up, you know, usual,
Speaker 1: nothing out of the ordinary. Uh. And then my wife
Speaker 1: she started feeling sick. This is on Christmas Day. So
Speaker 1: she starts feeling sick. I'm like, oh, here we go,
Speaker 1: actually gonna be sick the whole time. Uh. And then
Speaker 1: on Saturday. On on Sunday, we were doing some work
Speaker 1: trying to clean out the garage at the Mallard Manch
Speaker 1: and then I start feeling kind of a new weather. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's going on here? That whole thing. And
Speaker 1: I had the standard cold symptoms, you know, cough, some mucous,
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit of a sore throat, but not
Speaker 1: really that bad. Um. It was nothing, nothing out of
Speaker 1: the ordinary. Uh. And so but my wife's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got a test for COVID and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't. You don't have COVID. What are you talking
Speaker 1: about that you have a cold. I've had colds like
Speaker 1: this before, there's nothing, no big deal. Um. So anyways,
Speaker 1: she's like, no, I gotta test for cold. And she
Speaker 1: happened to have a COVID test at the Mallard match.
Speaker 1: And because of her job, she goes into the police station.
Speaker 1: They have to test all the time. And because she's
Speaker 1: around people, I'm not around people, Danny at the home
Speaker 1: studio as you know, right, thank god. So anyway, the
Speaker 1: wife gets the test and I'm watching TV and uh,
Speaker 1: amazingly it comes back negative, no COVID. Great. As I
Speaker 1: was I was telling her, see, we just have the cold.
Speaker 1: It's just the cold. Uh. And anyway, a couple of
Speaker 1: days go by and we're taking like all the over
Speaker 1: the counter cold medication because my wife picked up a
Speaker 1: bunch of this stuff. Um, and so we're taking whatever,
Speaker 1: and so she starts getting sick on Saturday. I got
Speaker 1: sick on a Sunday. And then on Thursday she's like,
Speaker 1: I got a test again for COVID. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: you don't, we already tested. You don't have the COVID. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, what are you doing. You're wasting a test.
Speaker 1: There's no need for it. It's just a cold. I've
Speaker 1: had cold before and that's it. You've got a cold.
Speaker 1: She said, No, I need to test again. She loves
Speaker 1: these tests, these these COVID tests. So anyway, I like, whatever,
Speaker 1: it makes you feel better, you know, I go, go
Speaker 1: do your little test. So she doesn't know a test,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, surprised motherfucker. Yeah it's
Speaker 1: uh knock knock at the door, and sure enough, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the COVID had arrived at the Mallard mansion. So uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's uh, it's COVID, but it's I gotta tell you, Danny,
Speaker 1: I you know, I I know I'm still sick and
Speaker 1: I don't sound good. I feel fine. Uh, it's all
Speaker 1: in my vocal cords. I feel much better if I know.
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to say it. But if everyone could
Speaker 1: get this COVID, I don't think it's that bad. I
Speaker 1: don't I know. Are you're not supposed to say that
Speaker 1: or uh? And I didn't bring it up. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to address that because I know a lot of
Speaker 1: our our friends in the media love to run around
Speaker 1: and say, hey, I got the COVID and make a
Speaker 1: big deal about it and tweet about and I'm not
Speaker 1: I just thought, you know, I'm not that guy. You're
Speaker 1: not that guy. I'll trust me, You're not that guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not that guy. And I'm not looking for attention.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that big a deal. It's an illness.
Speaker 1: Uh And for people, they'll be fine and uh. And
Speaker 1: I will say I was hoping that I would get
Speaker 1: the a symptomatic version of the COVID. Omarion is a
Speaker 1: singer and Twitter was joking when the O macron version
Speaker 1: came out. All the kids are calling it at the
Speaker 1: omarion Arian. Oh, is that what they were doing? Which
Speaker 1: is I guess it's more contagious, but the symptoms are
Speaker 1: to a lesser degree, which is what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: It is they can call it COVID, which I guess
Speaker 1: I have COVID right now. But but it's just it's
Speaker 1: gonna be a common flu eventually. Yeah. I mean it
Speaker 1: feels like every other cold I've had. Uh, it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel any different. I mean, there was a little bit
Speaker 1: of a cough that I had, um and that really
Speaker 1: led me down the garden path where every time I
Speaker 1: get a cold, it with almost without fIF I don't
Speaker 1: catch it early with the garlic, it'll destroy my voice.
Speaker 1: And and so my voice was okay the first couple
Speaker 1: of nights. I came back and did radio. But as
Speaker 1: you know, Danny doing talk radio for four hours and
Speaker 1: I I rant, I admit, I talk a lot, and
Speaker 1: I got a big mouth, and I do monologues and yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't shut up. And it's an
Speaker 1: instrument exactly. That's what I try to tell my wife, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know that you know, as a fellow
Speaker 1: broadcaster that there's a certain like it's not just your
Speaker 1: regular talking voice when you're when you're talking to a microphone,
Speaker 1: and the way we use our voice, it's up and
Speaker 1: down to try to make a point. It's there's a
Speaker 1: lot of effort used by the vocal cords. For sure.
Speaker 1: When you finish an entire show, you feel like you
Speaker 1: just did a little mini concert. Yeah, exactly so. And
Speaker 1: then once you get a little illness and and you're
Speaker 1: you're kind of cough on a little bit, or you
Speaker 1: just have a lot of mucus, you need to cough
Speaker 1: up um, But I guess the my mother in law,
Speaker 1: she she did gradual. She came over because the reason
Speaker 1: one of the reasons I didn't want to everyone to
Speaker 1: know I had COVID because people freak out. Some peopill
Speaker 1: freak out and make a big deal about it. But
Speaker 1: my my mother in law, who's actually an emergency room
Speaker 1: nurse in UH in Los Angeles, she's been doing forever
Speaker 1: and she's a wonderful woman, and she came over immediately
Speaker 1: and examined us and then said, you're fine pretty much.
Speaker 1: I mean, and she's been around COVID people for obviously,
Speaker 1: for like everyone else, for the hospital business, UH, for
Speaker 1: the for the last two years, and so anyway, I
Speaker 1: can check that box and it should be good to
Speaker 1: go at someone. I think this is gonna linger around,
Speaker 1: my voice because the weekend doesn't last that long, as
Speaker 1: you know, Danny, and then it's right back to mutilating,
Speaker 1: putting your voice in the wood chipper. So I think
Speaker 1: this is gonna hang around for a little longer, hopefully
Speaker 1: gets a little stronger. I'm gonna try garlic. Back to
Speaker 1: the garlic and the honey, salt water and every other
Speaker 1: home remedy. Yeah, that I can come up with. That's
Speaker 1: the plan. Glad your ice box heart is handling the
Speaker 1: omarion variant. I don't think this will knock me out.
Speaker 1: Something will kill me, but I don't think, yeah, that
Speaker 1: this will be the thing that does me. And so
Speaker 1: the hotel bed blues. What is this all about, Danny
Speaker 1: g What what do we have here? What happened? Well?
Speaker 1: This actually has a COVID kind of um spin to
Speaker 1: it as well, because my TINDERRONI and I had plans
Speaker 1: to go to Pisamo Beach for my birthday. We were
Speaker 1: going to make a huge deal out of it was
Speaker 1: just gonna be for one night, quick getaway. I had
Speaker 1: several shifts lined up for the holiday at the network,
Speaker 1: and her son came down sick. Now he's still in school,
Speaker 1: but he's old enough to take care of himself. But
Speaker 1: we didn't want to. She didn't want to be out
Speaker 1: of town, which I understand. You know, no matter how
Speaker 1: old your kid is, you don't want to be miles
Speaker 1: and miles away when that's the you know, yeah, you
Speaker 1: don't need our Mom's not far away, right, That's the key.
Speaker 1: The greatest thing about a mom. She's never that far away, right.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because last year her son, who you know,
Speaker 1: has his first car, he drove himself to urgent care
Speaker 1: for the first time, and I swear she did a
Speaker 1: dance like a happy path. He figured it out. As
Speaker 1: parents know, one of the worst parts of being a
Speaker 1: parent is having to deal with hospitals and appointments and
Speaker 1: checkups and e er and urgent care and all that mess.
Speaker 1: So when you're finally drives himself to the hospital or
Speaker 1: the urgent care, that's a big deal. Did the kid
Speaker 1: Once the kid realized how long they have the weighted
Speaker 1: urgent care, did they call their mom? And they wait
Speaker 1: a minute, Mom, it's the there's a four hour await.
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Right? They fill out the paperwork
Speaker 1: for the first time and deal with an insurance card
Speaker 1: and all that. They're really appreciate shading their parents. So
Speaker 1: she said, you know what, I was looking around, Let's
Speaker 1: do this. Um, he took a COVID test. He's negative
Speaker 1: even though he had all the symptoms. But I still
Speaker 1: want to be nearby. I'll just get a really nice
Speaker 1: hotel in the area so that we can, you know,
Speaker 1: have a jacuzzi and a nice room and at least
Speaker 1: after I take you out for a birthday dinner, we'll
Speaker 1: have a nice private hotel room. I hear you way
Speaker 1: to go right now. You see another reason why she's
Speaker 1: a keeper. So I'm like, all right, that's totally cool.
Speaker 1: We check in at a nice local hotel. We go
Speaker 1: to our room that they she's holding the key card.
Speaker 1: We find the section of the hotel, these nice garden grounds.
Speaker 1: We walk up the stairs and she's like, oh, top
Speaker 1: of the stairs there there it is. Uses the key
Speaker 1: card opens the door, pushes the door, and it kicks
Speaker 1: back that somebody was in there and they had that
Speaker 1: top walk on. No. Yeah, so there was wow. And
Speaker 1: but the key opened the door, open the door. The
Speaker 1: girl who checked us in gave us a room that
Speaker 1: somebody had not checked out of yet. Wow. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: there was a lady in a robe on the bed
Speaker 1: staring at us through the crack in the door. Holy crap,
Speaker 1: somebody's in there. Wait, how does that happen? Seriously? So
Speaker 1: maybe they thought these people were checking out and they
Speaker 1: decided to stay an extra day. That's when you cleaned
Speaker 1: the hotel room before somebody else comes in. Isn't that
Speaker 1: normal standard operating procedure, thank you. So there was some
Speaker 1: sort of communication breakdown where the girl at the front
Speaker 1: desk thought this room was cleaned and ready to go,
Speaker 1: and in fact there was somebody in there still. Now
Speaker 1: it's really awkward because we're pulling our luggage. I mean
Speaker 1: when we had a bag each, but we're carrying our
Speaker 1: bag and a couple of grocery bags we had in
Speaker 1: the lay. You who was wearing the robe is now
Speaker 1: on the back balcony smoking a cigarette staring at us.
Speaker 1: What the hell does happened? So we go back to
Speaker 1: the front desk and the lady was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. My TENDERRONI was like, very calm and
Speaker 1: nice about it. She was totally cool. The girl at
Speaker 1: the front desk had just dealt with a major asshole
Speaker 1: complaining about everything because my girl was cool about it all.
Speaker 1: The girl at the hotel said, you know what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna upgrade you guys to our best
Speaker 1: room to a new part of our grounds, just constructed
Speaker 1: by like a lake, a man made lake they have there.
Speaker 1: We scored. We're like, this is perfect. So we go
Speaker 1: over there, dude, brand new construction. There's this huge fireplace
Speaker 1: in the room. I mean, this is a sprawling pad
Speaker 1: and we're just in this room. It's a perfect birthday night.
Speaker 1: But then we lay down on the bed. Ben, I
Speaker 1: know you did the sleep number commercials for a did
Speaker 1: you know my Tinderoni likes a solid bed, so if
Speaker 1: she had a sleep number it might was it. The
Speaker 1: higher the number, the harder the Yeah, hundred, it goes
Speaker 1: from a hundred. I actually still have my sleep number bed.
Speaker 1: I love it. I wish they were still an advertiser
Speaker 1: because it's a great bed. But yeah, it goes from
Speaker 1: a hundred the hardest to zero. Sleeping on the floor,
Speaker 1: it would be zero. So I might be a sixty
Speaker 1: and she's probably an eighty. This bed eighties pretty high.
Speaker 1: This bed, though, Ben, this was a hundred and five.
Speaker 1: It felt like we were laying on bricks. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if it was because the room is brand
Speaker 1: new and so no one's ever slept on this mattress.
Speaker 1: But you don't think the mattress would be more comfortable
Speaker 1: in this nice hotel. So what do you do do
Speaker 1: you You've you've gotten an upgrade, so you can't like,
Speaker 1: you can't say, wait a minute, the room sucks, right,
Speaker 1: can you so your screw and and it didn't and suck.
Speaker 1: It was just the bed plus the most I mean,
Speaker 1: you're gonna spend eight hours, you know, in the bed
Speaker 1: at least, plus some other extracurricular activity. Prior to this,
Speaker 1: we had walked around the grounds and we went to
Speaker 1: the jacuzzi, so we had already had a full night.
Speaker 1: She was like maybe a half hour into trying to sleep.
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, well, we're in our area.
Speaker 1: Let's just drive home and sleep in our own bed,
Speaker 1: wake up, and then come back to our room. And
Speaker 1: that's what we did. Wait a minute, you staying at
Speaker 1: hotel and you went back to your own bed. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so we threw our clothes on, got in the car,
Speaker 1: laughed when we were in the car, and we're like, well,
Speaker 1: oh thank god we're not in Pismo Beach. We wouldn't
Speaker 1: have been able to drive to our own bed. We
Speaker 1: get to our own bed, have a wonderful night's sleep,
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, go through the Starbucks drive through,
Speaker 1: go back to our hotel room, put the fireplace back on,
Speaker 1: enjoy the room until checkout time. But we didn't sleep there.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's hilarious. That sounds like I My wife
Speaker 1: is very conscious of the bed. She hates. She actually
Speaker 1: doesn't like the really hard bed um and so she
Speaker 1: likes this kind of in in the middle. And we were
Speaker 1: staying one time in Vegas and the bed was just
Speaker 1: a ship bed, right, It was just horrific, and we
Speaker 1: were like waking up and our backs were hurting, and
Speaker 1: we we had one more night, so we stayed in
Speaker 1: Vegas and and as I remember the story, we were
Speaker 1: gambling and then we just decided, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: maybe one o'clock in the morning, and we're like, you
Speaker 1: know what, fuck it, and we just we took off
Speaker 1: and got in the car and and we left. We
Speaker 1: we didn't come back, uh to the obviously the longer,
Speaker 1: longer drive, but we we got the heck out of it.
Speaker 1: We started cursing, you know, like all that off and
Speaker 1: then uh, we we checked out and we were gone.
Speaker 1: We've actually done that a couple of times, did that
Speaker 1: in Palm Springs at a hotel that was not The
Speaker 1: bed wasn't very good, So but I've never that's hilarious
Speaker 1: that you came back that was outstanding. Uh. And and
Speaker 1: then now, we we had a bunch of weird holiday
Speaker 1: weather in the Los Angeles there. It's it's I always say,
Speaker 1: it's like California bad weather is like a really nice
Speaker 1: day in most of the country. And I watched I'm
Speaker 1: like Mike Trout, Now I'm watching the Weather Channel a lot. Uh,
Speaker 1: and I'm looking like, holy my. My brother lives in Appleton,
Speaker 1: Wisconsin and the h and they don't get tons of snow.
Speaker 1: They're compared to other parts of Wisconsin and Minnesota. But
Speaker 1: I look at that compared to what I grew up
Speaker 1: in and what he grew up in, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: holy canal man, what is it? I mean, it's just insane.
Speaker 1: But in l A, even though they made a movie,
Speaker 1: it never rains in l A. Bullshit. Uh, it does
Speaker 1: rain occasionally. And we had a rain of Pelloza event
Speaker 1: and you got locked in. This is that correct, Danny Man? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the famous Tony Tony Tony song. It never rains in
Speaker 1: southern California. Um. Yeah, It's already hard enough to drive
Speaker 1: to the studios in Sherman Oates when I fill in
Speaker 1: producing the Jason Smith Show with Mike Harmon because it's
Speaker 1: drive time. Yeah, my trick is to just go a
Speaker 1: little earlier than I need to. Their show starts at
Speaker 1: seven pm on the West Coast, so I'll usually get
Speaker 1: on the road no later than four pm to go
Speaker 1: cover that show. Well, now that it's raining, right, and
Speaker 1: I mean it's pouring cats and dogs here in southern California.
Speaker 1: You're right. People in other parts of the country kind
Speaker 1: of roll their eyes when anyone in l A talks
Speaker 1: weather about how bad it might be here. But for us,
Speaker 1: you know, seven inches of rain like it dropped on
Speaker 1: l A the last time it rain. That's a big
Speaker 1: deal for us, especially with a drought. Now, half the
Speaker 1: people don't know how to drive in bad weather. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but maybe ten miles an hour. The other half of
Speaker 1: the people drive like maniacs and act like nothing is different.
Speaker 1: So you got this weird combination on the roads which
Speaker 1: causes tons of accident. Plus, since it hardly ever rains,
Speaker 1: when it starts raining, all the oil yes comes up,
Speaker 1: and so it's like a slipping slide. Yeah, and you've
Speaker 1: got got people going ninety miles an hour on a
Speaker 1: slipping slide. What could go wrong? Yeah? Spin out City,
Speaker 1: you're right about that, because there were people who were
Speaker 1: crashed into the center divider. Cars were off the road
Speaker 1: turned in the other direction. So you're exactly right. There's
Speaker 1: so many damn cars on the freeways here that that
Speaker 1: oil is all over the place, and so when it
Speaker 1: first starts coming down, that oil loosens up and it
Speaker 1: just turns into a water slide. So I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well I need to get on the road as soon
Speaker 1: as I can, which I did. I get on the
Speaker 1: road at four pm. I'm now headed on the one
Speaker 1: on one south to get to Sherman Oaks. It's twenty
Speaker 1: one miles for me, the beautiful San Fernando Valley. Yeah,
Speaker 1: to go through the valley, to go through Woodland Hill,
Speaker 1: Calabasas Woodland Hills in Kardashians when you go through Calabasas
Speaker 1: with a middle finger. I I hate going through that
Speaker 1: Woodland Hills area. It always is jam packed. Now with
Speaker 1: bad weather, I'm thinking, man, this is gonna be a mission.
Speaker 1: But still it's twenty one miles. I can deal with it.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there. I'm sitting there. I didn't even get
Speaker 1: to Calabasas, which is the next city over for me,
Speaker 1: and I had already been sitting in traffic for thirty
Speaker 1: eight minutes. Did you use like a traffic gap like
Speaker 1: they used the ways app? But the ways app kept
Speaker 1: doing that thing where it kept refreshing, adding time, adding time,
Speaker 1: So every couple of minutes it kept adding fifteen more minutes,
Speaker 1: fifteen more minutes, twenty more minutes. And then the voice
Speaker 1: came on and said estimated time in traffic forty minutes.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm not gonna get to the
Speaker 1: studios in time, you know, because it's already five it's
Speaker 1: five pm. Now I gotta be there at six pm. Depress.
Speaker 1: There's no other way. I mean, there are some long
Speaker 1: streets in l A, but they're all jammed up too,
Speaker 1: so it's right, there's not It's not like I could
Speaker 1: just go on frontage roads because I'm now I'm going
Speaker 1: past canyons and stuff like that. Like if I exit
Speaker 1: to the right, I'm gonna go to Malibu. Um, so
Speaker 1: it's a nightmare. Yeah. So I made an executive decision.
Speaker 1: Ben I was like, Okay, it's way more miles, but
Speaker 1: maybe it'll move. I exit, flip a bit, and I
Speaker 1: go the other direction. I go north on the one
Speaker 1: oh one. So now I backtrack the few miles that
Speaker 1: I was able to go. At least it was moving
Speaker 1: in that direction. I get on the twenty three Freeway,
Speaker 1: which goes through Simi Valley, home of the famous producer
Speaker 1: on your nightly radio ship. How bad could this drive be?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the traffic through that city was a nightmare,
Speaker 1: not moving at all. And now it's five thirty. I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I even gonna get to the studios? Am I
Speaker 1: gonna have to call somebody? Finally I get through Simi Valley.
Speaker 1: Finally get to north Ridge. Now it is bumper to
Speaker 1: bumper in north In the rain is just pounding our windshields.
Speaker 1: I mean it's that kind of rain where, no matter
Speaker 1: how fast your windshield wipers are going, you cannot see
Speaker 1: really what's in front of you. Sure um, Finally make
Speaker 1: it to the four oh five Freeway. Take that north
Speaker 1: to the student ohs. So I left at four. Then
Speaker 1: I got to the studios at six thirty pm. Wow.
Speaker 1: I had a half hour to quickly do the commercial
Speaker 1: reads for Jason and Mike. Problem with that is you
Speaker 1: need time to decompress. I can't. I do not do
Speaker 1: traffic well. Unfortunately, I haven't had to do traffic in
Speaker 1: a while. But when I get stuck in traffic, I
Speaker 1: just need about half an hour to forty minutes to
Speaker 1: just like not deal with anything. I I am so
Speaker 1: stressed out dealing which I don't know how people do it.
Speaker 1: I I don't know how people deal with that kind
Speaker 1: of traffic on a regular basis. It's insane. The tech
Speaker 1: producer connects Jason and Mike, and they're both all happy,
Speaker 1: in good moods. How you guys doing tonight? We're sitting
Speaker 1: in their underwear. Yes, because they're at their home studios.
Speaker 1: They didn't even have to touch car keys. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'm shaking my fist at the heavens like, um, I
Speaker 1: was able to decompress in that power. I was there
Speaker 1: by the time the show started. I was fine. But man,
Speaker 1: you know, for two and a half hours to go
Speaker 1: twenty one miles insanity. Well, and just wait until the
Speaker 1: studios moved to Burbank. You're talking about another but forty
Speaker 1: minutes in traffic. Probably, I'm sorry. I a helicopter. Do
Speaker 1: you have a Kobe copter or a motorcycle? Those are
Speaker 1: my two dangerous options. Yeah, motor I don't know, but
Speaker 1: I feel like you're safer a helicopter. I don't know though,
Speaker 1: but would disagree with you. Yeah, well yeah, I hear
Speaker 1: you on that. But as long as it's not foggy,
Speaker 1: stay out of the fog, and I think you'll you'll
Speaker 1: be okay. So we have this thing we we used
Speaker 1: to we used to do it and we stopped doing it.
Speaker 1: And I want to bring a pop quiz. So I
Speaker 1: will quiz you, Danny and the listener, and then you
Speaker 1: have to try to figure out you know the answer
Speaker 1: is very simple, okay. And so this is random stuff
Speaker 1: I found around the internet because I have no life.
Speaker 1: So the average person, we'll say this five times today.
Speaker 1: What do you think it is? Five times? Good morning? No, no,
Speaker 1: not good morning, but it is a greeting, okay, it
Speaker 1: is thank you? All right? Only five times? Well more
Speaker 1: than that. You've been around kids lately, not all of
Speaker 1: them have been given etiquette, proper manners and decorum U.
Speaker 1: A new survey recently found that parents spend just under
Speaker 1: eight hundred dollars a year on this. What do you
Speaker 1: think it is? Eight hundred dollars a year on parents
Speaker 1: spend this eight d oh if it was only a
Speaker 1: fast food these days, dan As you know, you're like
Speaker 1: I spent eight hundred dollars and two months. I used
Speaker 1: to know exactly how much my order was at Wendy's.
Speaker 1: It was like seven seven dollars. I remember when it
Speaker 1: went up to seven dollars. I don't think I could
Speaker 1: get out on Wendies for less than like sixteen bucks.
Speaker 1: And these days, you know, it's it's expensive now, oh
Speaker 1: it's it's really everything. But the answer is their kids allowance. WHOA,
Speaker 1: let's do the map. It's twelve months a year, eight
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. How much does that work out to be? Yeah? Right,
Speaker 1: you know what. My mom pointed up at the roots
Speaker 1: and said, that's your allowance. That's your allowance. That's not
Speaker 1: that's good. You know, that's good allowance. I remember sporadically
Speaker 1: having an allowance, but it wasn't like every week, and
Speaker 1: it was really more of a bonus and incentive bonus
Speaker 1: to do chores around the house, the vacuum or uh whatever.
Speaker 1: All right, this is the number one food we all
Speaker 1: hated as a kid, but we supposedly love. Now. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say, broccoli, Uh, you're you're, you're in the vegetable family,
Speaker 1: and I don't. I don't agree with this one. Asparagus,
Speaker 1: you eat asparagus. I could see that. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: when my mom was having some money issues when I
Speaker 1: was young, she she got the asparagus in the can.
Speaker 1: You ever had that? No, I don't recommend it. Uh,
Speaker 1: pretty nasty and soggy, and I hated it. And then
Speaker 1: as an adult, I had it roasted at a fancy
Speaker 1: restaurant and I was like, Okay, I could get down
Speaker 1: with this. I see why people like this. But is
Speaker 1: it asparagus? In some people it turns your your urine fluids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can smell it, right, it comes out and you
Speaker 1: can still smell it. Oh yeah, not not everyone has it, right,
Speaker 1: It's only a percentage of people. If it's in your
Speaker 1: d n A. I've never heard that. I thought that
Speaker 1: happened to every one. I don't think it's for everybody,
Speaker 1: but um, a lot of people have it. And yeah,
Speaker 1: that's any food that you can eat. And then when
Speaker 1: it comes out the other end, it smells the same.
Speaker 1: That's something about that I don't I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know about that one anyway. Next one on pop quiz,
Speaker 1: what was the one vegetable you hated as a kid
Speaker 1: that you Oh my god, I my the only fights
Speaker 1: I really got into with my mom. I love my mom.
Speaker 1: That I was a mama's boy. May she rest in peace.
Speaker 1: But the ones I would get into work Benjamin, eat
Speaker 1: your vegetables. And she loved peas I hated. She uh,
Speaker 1: and then she would change it up, and she tried
Speaker 1: to tell me that, oh, this tastes really good. I
Speaker 1: take a bite. Eventually it was disgusting. She made a
Speaker 1: lot of broccoli. Um, cauliflower I hated. I hated the
Speaker 1: smell of cauliflower. But I pretty much despised all vegetables
Speaker 1: when I was growing up. And now, oh, I like,
Speaker 1: you know, some select vegetables I'll eat. But even to
Speaker 1: this day, I'm not a big vegetable guy. What about you, Danny, Well,
Speaker 1: there's some good cauliflower pizza out there on the market. Yeah.
Speaker 1: My wife, she does the gluten free thing, so she's yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I hated the spinach on the plate, the soggy soft spinach.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, spinach tangy taste too. Did your mom ever tall? Well?
Speaker 1: Pop by the Sailor, man, ain't that screw? Pop By
Speaker 1: the sailor man my ass, he was on steroids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was spinach on the plate. I wanted to gag.
Speaker 1: I was not a fan of that. Um. I guess
Speaker 1: lima beans and stuff like that too. Oh yeah, lima
Speaker 1: beans are disgusting, so nasty. It's all the texture, though,
Speaker 1: isn't it. You're right? And then my grandmother would try
Speaker 1: to top everything off by pouring us a glass of
Speaker 1: prune juice. And she'd say, no, no, no, you need this.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to roll up to clear out your system. Right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got that. I got Uh. Some of the Jewish
Speaker 1: holidays they'd have home and tash In and they'd have
Speaker 1: prune and poppy seed and uh yeah. I was not
Speaker 1: not particularly a fine memory. All we'll do a couple
Speaker 1: more and then we've got to save time. Get the
Speaker 1: mail bag on Sunday. So sixte of us? Uh, six
Speaker 1: of us have broken up with someone over this? What
Speaker 1: do you think it is? Threesomes three? Uh? No, because
Speaker 1: they cheered for a different NFL team. Wow. Have you
Speaker 1: ever broken up with someone in part because they did
Speaker 1: not like the right team? Well, I wouldn't say that
Speaker 1: that was the reason why it was a breakup, but
Speaker 1: I will say that that was an added bonus with
Speaker 1: them being gone, I'm like, oh, thank god, I don't
Speaker 1: have to see that ugly Broncos gear anyway. Well, but don't,
Speaker 1: don't you think though, Danny, like I think most of
Speaker 1: us as guys. I don't know how women feel about this,
Speaker 1: but most of us. If a woman is beautiful, and
Speaker 1: you will overlook that element, at least at the beginning.
Speaker 1: You know, when I didn't date very many women because
Speaker 1: they wouldn't get near me. But I would date women,
Speaker 1: and sometimes they were fans of teams I didn't like,
Speaker 1: or you having a RAM fan, they like the forty Niners,
Speaker 1: and I mean like, yeah, you know, but they're really
Speaker 1: good looking, and uh, you know, you kind of put
Speaker 1: up with it, and then after a while that once
Speaker 1: you get settled in, you're like, this is annoying. I
Speaker 1: look at the sports aspect right off the bat. I mean,
Speaker 1: my TENDERRONI right now wasn't a Dodger raid Laker fan.
Speaker 1: There's no way I would have given her a ring.
Speaker 1: I just don't think. So. Yeah, it was just easy
Speaker 1: sledding right away. Whereas somebody who roots against your team,
Speaker 1: and that's supposed to be your partner. No, and you
Speaker 1: want to sock them in the throat because they're rooting
Speaker 1: against your team. Yeah, it just doesn't work for me. Well,
Speaker 1: but think of the fun wagers you could conceivably make
Speaker 1: when your team's played. Yeah, you know, people say that
Speaker 1: it just doesn't work out that way. I got you,
Speaker 1: I got you all right. Uh. Last one, this occurs
Speaker 1: more the first week of the new year than any
Speaker 1: other time. People getting ripped off at clubs. Uh No,
Speaker 1: but it does involve something that happens to the people
Speaker 1: that work. Oh, people getting laid off. Yes, yeah, people
Speaker 1: get the first week of the new year more than
Speaker 1: any other time. The rest of the year, people get
Speaker 1: laid off. That makes sense because the corporate slugs don't
Speaker 1: want to ruin their own Christmas by laying off staff,
Speaker 1: so they wait for Christmas to be over. Well, and
Speaker 1: that's my I've always worked in the radio business where
Speaker 1: they usually use fire us before the holidays. They don't
Speaker 1: even wait for the holidays, And people always say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's so cruel the fire people. I would think it's
Speaker 1: even worse though. There's no good time to be fired.
Speaker 1: I've been fired a few times from radio jobs. There's
Speaker 1: no good time to lose your job. But I would
Speaker 1: say it's actually better before the holidays because then you
Speaker 1: spend all this money and you think you have a job,
Speaker 1: and then you come back and you're like, no, you
Speaker 1: don't have a job. Get out of here, clean out
Speaker 1: your stuff, and you're like, wait a minute, I've been
Speaker 1: all this money, I went on a vacation and yeah,
Speaker 1: that we talked about it. That's why it's tough to
Speaker 1: be a Capricorn, because everybody's broke when it's your birthday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right. Everybody's trying to make their credit card payment
Speaker 1: in the month of January. There's not extra cash flying around.
Speaker 1: So I would rather know before I spend all this
Speaker 1: holiday money. Well and yeah, and I in radio. Usually
Speaker 1: when you get through the Christmas holiday, you're yeah, I
Speaker 1: made it, you know, and then you and then you realize, well, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't. Anyway, all right, we're gonna get out of here.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Danny. And you can obviously be part of
Speaker 1: the podcast. If you want to email a question or
Speaker 1: just any kind of statement about the podcast, you can
Speaker 1: do that. My email address I used for this show.
Speaker 1: This is only for the podcast. It's Real fifth Hour
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. You're obviously fine. Uh and that's
Speaker 1: the number, uh, the letter five. By the way, it's
Speaker 1: not the number five, Real fifth hour f I F
Speaker 1: T H hour at gmail dot com. And then you're
Speaker 1: on Twitter. I'm on Twitter, Danny, and you're at Danny
Speaker 1: Radio at Ben Mallard. Absolutely all right, have a wonderful
Speaker 1: rest of your Saturday, and we'll have the mail bag
Speaker 1: on Sunday. Sunday, Sunday Later. Skater